Nicole Burch: Mama Drama | movie | 2024 | Official Clip
Nicole Burch was a career driven, eternally single party girl, until a one-night stand made her a mom. Hear how she went | dG1fZVdkdnJzMjVVSFU
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 Turn 36, I had the best handle on my life.
00:04 I was in therapy, I was in the best shape of my life,
00:07 I was making six figures doing what I love,
00:09 and I was dating a higher caliber of man.
00:12 I'm talking about the kind of guy
00:14 who tells other people you're their girlfriend.
00:18 (audience laughing)
00:20 In Los Angeles!
00:21 (audience applauding)
00:22 You have to dig for these fuckers, but they're there!
00:25 (audience applauding)
00:28 It was going great,
00:29 and I actually was dating this one guy.
00:31 Very briefly, he called it quits, and that's fine,
00:34 because now I had new tools to self-soothe, okay?
00:38 I wasn't gonna sleep around
00:39 or drink my way through every bar.
00:41 Instead, I could go hiking, I could meditate,
00:45 and I could call my therapist.
00:46 Yes, and that lasted for two whole weeks.
00:50 (audience laughing)
00:56 Then, those self-sabotage feelings start to resurface, right?
01:03 And I realized what I really need is some sexual healing.
01:06 So, but I'm not gonna do it with a rando,
01:09 I'm not gonna be scrolling through on Tinder,
01:11 I'm not gonna do that.
01:11 Instead, I decided to call up my good friend Craig.
01:14 Here's why.
01:15 Craig is devastatingly good-looking,
01:18 but also somebody I knew I would never date.
01:20 I called this keeping it simple.
01:22 My therapist called it still filling a void, okay?
01:25 (audience laughing)
01:28 So, if I could describe my perfect man,
01:31 physically, it's Craig Tovey.
01:33 He's six foot two,
01:34 he's a combination between Jason Sudeikis and John Krasinski,
01:38 he's got a penchant for deep conversation
01:41 and a great sense of humor.
01:42 Before I go further, by round of applause,
01:45 anybody in this audience who has children?
01:46 How many of you guys have children?
01:47 (audience cheering)
01:49 Great, great, great, okay.
01:50 Now, out of everybody who just clapped,
01:52 clap again if you were married when you had those children.
01:55 (audience cheering)
01:56 Great, okay.
01:58 Now, how many of you accidentally got pregnant
02:00 from a one-night stand with your friend Craig
02:01 and now you're co-parenting a three and a half year old?
02:04 (audience laughing)
02:06 So, just, just, okay.
02:07 Well, boy, do I have a story for you.
02:09 (audience laughing)
02:17 Good old Craig, he came over that night
02:19 to make me feel better.
02:21 (audience laughing)
02:24 And it was a rough night for both of us.
02:26 First off, he had had two bottles of Coors Light
02:29 and I had two bottles of Chardonnay.
02:31 So, a very different vibe going on.
02:35 At one point during sex, he asked me to not throw up on him.
02:38 (audience laughing)
02:40 So, not the whirlwind romance we're all hoping for, right?
02:43 The next morning, I text him and I go,
02:45 "Hey man, I just wanna make sure we're good."
02:47 And he goes, "Yeah, we're so good,
02:48 I wouldn't even consider what we did last night's sex."
02:51 And I was like, "Oh, thank God, me neither, woo!"
02:52 (audience laughing)
02:54 I was like, "So, can we make a pact?"
02:55 And he's like, "Yeah."
02:56 I go, "Let's not tell anyone."
02:57 He's like, "No, we're not gonna tell anybody."
02:59 So, we made a vow, we are not gonna tell a single person
03:02 for the rest of our lives under any circumstances
03:06 that we ever had sex.
03:08 (audience applauding)
03:10 Yeah, yeah.
03:13 What a fun promise.
03:16 (audience laughing)
03:19 Because three weeks later, a late period,
03:21 a positive pregnancy test, we were like,
03:23 "We're gonna have to tell a lot of fucking people."
03:25 (audience laughing)