• 7 months ago
Transcript
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00:00:12 (gentle music)
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00:01:39 - I love you.
00:02:05 - Mom?
00:02:06 - I'm here, baby.
00:02:07 - What's going on?
00:02:09 - I just came to tell you how much I love you.
00:02:13 - Okay.
00:02:14 Thank you.
00:02:15 Goodnight.
00:02:17 See you in the morning.
00:02:20 - Good night.
00:02:30 - Bye.
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00:03:27 (door thudding)
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00:03:43 - Do you know why?
00:03:59 Daddy!
00:04:08 - Lauren.
00:04:10 Hey, baby.
00:04:11 You having fun with Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Scott?
00:04:17 - I wanna go home with you.
00:04:20 - I know, baby.
00:04:22 Can you go play for a minute?
00:04:27 (door thudding)
00:04:30 Can you guys take the night?
00:04:42 - Where are you going?
00:04:45 - Home.
00:04:46 - Do you think that's a good idea?
00:04:51 - I need some time.
00:04:54 - Yeah, I guess.
00:04:55 - Thanks.
00:04:59 (gentle music)
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00:05:19 (door creaking)
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00:06:15 (gentle music)
00:06:18 - Read the story first.
00:06:40 Please.
00:06:44 Once upon a time, there was a monster.
00:06:47 Lauren, tell Mama what kind of monster it was.
00:06:52 - A tickle monster.
00:06:53 - That's right, a tickle monster.
00:06:56 This tickle monster loved to tickle.
00:06:59 He couldn't get enough tickles.
00:07:04 (laughing)
00:07:06 But the tickle monster had one weakness.
00:07:12 Lauren, tell Mama what that was.
00:07:14 - A hug from a snuggle bug.
00:07:15 - A hug from a snuggle bug is the only thing
00:07:19 that could keep a tickle monster at bay.
00:07:22 So, one day, the tickle--
00:07:25 Oh no.
00:07:28 Oh no, I can't, something's coming out.
00:07:32 I can't stop it.
00:07:34 The tickle monster!
00:07:35 (screaming)
00:07:37 - Come on, come on, come on!
00:07:42 (laughing)
00:07:44 (laughing)
00:07:47 (crickets chirping)
00:08:15 - I don't know if you guys heard,
00:08:17 but Beth took her own life over the weekend.
00:08:21 So, obviously, we'll,
00:08:24 it'll be out for a while.
00:08:27 We got a lot of work ahead of us.
00:08:29 We gotta keep our focus, okay?
00:08:31 Construction will go on as normal.
00:08:34 All right, all right, I'll see you over there.
00:08:38 - Hey, what'd I miss?
00:08:43 - You're 20 minutes late, Ken.
00:08:45 - Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
00:08:48 - Ken, Will's dealing with some family issues right now,
00:08:53 and we're gonna be short-staffed.
00:08:55 I need you here.
00:08:57 - Oh, yeah, of course, I'll do my best.
00:09:00 - Look, this is your last warning.
00:09:06 Next time, I'll have to let you go,
00:09:11 and I really don't wanna do that.
00:09:14 - Thanks.
00:09:16 - All right?
00:09:17 - I have a few questions for you.
00:09:32 - Seems everyone does.
00:09:34 - Do you know where you'll be holding the ceremony?
00:09:38 - Grace Church.
00:09:39 - Will you be having an open casket?
00:09:42 - I guess I hadn't thought about that.
00:09:45 - What were her final wishes?
00:09:48 I just need you to fill out this form here.
00:10:04 (sighs)
00:10:06 - I don't really know how to answer some of these questions.
00:10:18 We never talked about cremation or open casket.
00:10:23 - Open casket?
00:10:24 - Oh, you missed a line.
00:10:40 - I don't know what it should say.
00:10:47 - Well, most people just talk about their loved ones.
00:10:50 - How do you want her to be remembered?
00:10:53 - She killed herself, Jill.
00:10:59 I don't feel like I ever really knew her.
00:11:02 - All I can say is she was not feeling God's true love.
00:11:19 Without that, she felt hopeless and alone.
00:11:22 - But she wasn't alone.
00:11:24 She had a family.
00:11:26 - Most people who commit suicide aren't alone.
00:11:30 They just start painting this picture in their mind
00:11:33 that killing themself is the only way out.
00:11:36 I'll be here for you, Will, whatever you need.
00:11:40 But I want to refer you to someone.
00:11:43 Someone I regard very highly.
00:11:46 - You want to send me to someone else?
00:11:48 - Yes, Dr. Emma Walker.
00:11:50 She specializes in suicide
00:11:55 and leads meetings here at the church once a month.
00:11:59 Next to Jesus, she'll be your best resource.
00:12:05 (crickets chirping)
00:12:08 - Thanks, babe.
00:12:19 Okay.
00:12:20 - You ready?
00:12:24 - I hope so.
00:12:25 What do you think?
00:12:26 Does it look good?
00:12:27 I don't know.
00:12:28 (car horn honking)
00:12:30 He's gonna kill me.
00:12:31 He's gonna kill me.
00:12:32 I gotta go.
00:12:33 - I'm sorry you couldn't wait.
00:12:34 - Oh, I'm sorry.
00:12:35 - Good luck.
00:12:36 - I love you.
00:12:39 - I love you.
00:12:40 - What took you so long?
00:12:50 - Your sister.
00:12:51 Good luck, kiss.
00:12:54 - Things I put up with for her.
00:12:56 (laughing)
00:13:01 - I couldn't believe what he said after that.
00:13:03 It was...
00:13:04 You should have been there, dude.
00:13:06 That was...
00:13:07 - Mr. Johnson?
00:13:09 Mr. Johnson?
00:13:13 - Hello?
00:13:14 He's not here.
00:13:17 - He'll be here.
00:13:18 - I wouldn't put it past him not to show up.
00:13:21 - Will, Scott.
00:13:23 - Good morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:13:24 See, you just have to...
00:13:25 - Yeah, I just...
00:13:26 Job's yours.
00:13:29 - Wow, really?
00:13:30 - Just don't make me regret this.
00:13:32 Got it?
00:13:33 - Well, no, of course, we...
00:13:34 - Because if you do, I'll make sure
00:13:35 that you never work in this town again.
00:13:37 Got it?
00:13:38 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:13:39 My apologies.
00:13:40 - Sorry.
00:13:41 Call Margaret in the morning.
00:13:45 She'll get everything finalized.
00:13:47 - Thank you.
00:13:53 - I'm sorry.
00:13:58 - Well, wasn't he just a field of daisies?
00:14:01 On a bright, sunny day.
00:14:03 - Doesn't matter what he is.
00:14:04 He just gave us the biggest project of our lives.
00:14:07 - Oh, my goodness.
00:14:08 We got the job.
00:14:10 We got the job.
00:14:11 - We got the job.
00:14:13 - Woo!
00:14:16 (sighs)
00:14:18 (sighs)
00:14:21 (sighs)
00:14:23 - Girls are fine when I sleep.
00:14:50 - How are you doing?
00:14:52 - I'm not.
00:14:54 - We'll get through this.
00:14:59 - I don't see how.
00:15:06 There's no light at the end of the tunnel for this one.
00:15:10 Girls are never gonna have their mom.
00:15:15 Will is never gonna have a normal relationship again.
00:15:18 Nothing's ever gonna be the same.
00:15:27 - I loved her, Scott.
00:15:31 She was my best friend.
00:15:44 (snoring)
00:16:13 - Is he okay?
00:16:14 - I don't know.
00:16:20 You think I should go over there and talk to him?
00:16:28 - No, no, I don't wanna smother him.
00:16:33 I hate that Beth did this.
00:16:40 I hate this.
00:16:43 (sighs)
00:16:45 - I'll go talk to him, okay?
00:16:53 Come on.
00:16:54 (sniffles)
00:17:01 (laughs)
00:17:06 (sighs)
00:17:08 (sighs)
00:17:13 (sniffles)
00:17:25 - Good morning, hon.
00:17:28 I wanted to be the first to say congrats on the big job.
00:17:31 I know Mike hasn't made it official yet, but he will.
00:17:34 You are an amazing man, and I know he will see that soon.
00:17:38 I love you, Will.
00:17:39 - Why would she say that?
00:17:46 - Will, I--
00:17:53 - What happened?
00:17:54 She said she loved me.
00:17:58 She said she was proud of me.
00:18:03 (sniffles)
00:18:05 Why would she wanna kill herself?
00:18:07 What caused her to change so drastically?
00:18:11 Did I do something wrong?
00:18:16 Did she do something wrong?
00:18:20 - I don't know.
00:18:30 I don't think there are any solid answers right now.
00:18:33 But you and I,
00:18:40 we, we both know
00:18:45 she loved you and the girls.
00:18:48 - Loved us?
00:18:49 She loved us enough to leave us.
00:18:56 You know, it seems like she hated her life with us so much
00:19:01 that she decided to kill herself.
00:19:03 That's not love.
00:19:05 (sniffles)
00:19:10 (ominous music)
00:19:16 (ominous music)
00:19:20 (ominous music)
00:19:23 (ominous music)
00:19:35 (ominous music)
00:19:47 (ominous music)
00:19:51 (ominous music)
00:19:54 (ominous music)
00:19:59 (ominous music)
00:20:05 (ominous music)
00:20:12 (ominous music)
00:20:18 (ominous music)
00:20:21 (ominous music)
00:20:29 (ominous music)
00:20:36 (ominous music)
00:20:44 (ominous music)
00:20:47 (ominous music)
00:20:54 (sniffles)
00:21:06 (sniffles)
00:21:13 (sniffles)
00:21:15 - Why would you do this to me?
00:21:28 How could you let this happen?
00:21:40 I always did what's right.
00:21:42 I loved her!
00:21:49 (gunshot)
00:21:51 (sobs)
00:21:53 (sobs)
00:21:59 (sobs)
00:22:04 (sobs)
00:22:08 (sobs)
00:22:10 (sobs)
00:22:14 - Where's Mom?
00:22:18 - She left.
00:22:21 - Where did she go?
00:22:24 - I'm not sure.
00:22:25 - When did she leave?
00:22:31 - Last night.
00:22:37 (knocking)
00:22:39 (ominous music)
00:22:43 (ominous music)
00:22:47 (ominous music)
00:22:50 (ominous music)
00:22:53 (ominous music)
00:22:56 (ominous music)
00:23:02 (ominous music)
00:23:15 (ominous music)
00:23:18 (ominous music)
00:23:21 - No!
00:23:24 (ominous music)
00:23:27 - Dad, you're scared!
00:23:35 - Mommy, please!
00:23:36 - Dad!
00:23:37 - No, no, no, no, Dad!
00:23:39 Dad, no, no, come on, I need to see you!
00:23:41 No, no!
00:23:42 (ominous music)
00:23:44 - Come on, come on, come on!
00:23:46 (ominous music)
00:23:49 - No!
00:23:52 (ominous music)
00:23:56 (sobs)
00:23:58 (sobs)
00:24:02 (sobs)
00:24:04 (sobs)
00:24:07 (sobs)
00:24:09 (engine revs)
00:24:22 (engine revs)
00:24:24 (engine revs)
00:24:26 (engine revs)
00:24:28 (engine revs)
00:24:30 (engine revs)
00:24:32 (engine revs)
00:24:34 (engine revs)
00:24:36 (engine revs)
00:24:38 (engine revs)
00:24:40 (engine revs)
00:24:42 (engine revs)
00:24:44 (engine revs)
00:24:46 (coughs)
00:24:47 - What are you doing, Will?
00:24:48 What are you doing, man, huh?
00:24:50 - Get off me.
00:24:51 (coughs)
00:24:53 (coughs)
00:24:55 - You got two little girls at home.
00:25:01 How could you even be thinking
00:25:02 about doing something like this?
00:25:04 - I wasn't trying to kill myself.
00:25:06 - What?
00:25:08 - I wasn't trying to kill myself.
00:25:10 I needed to know how she felt.
00:25:13 (coughs)
00:25:16 I don't know what to do.
00:25:22 I should not have let her go to bed
00:25:24 without asking what was wrong.
00:25:26 I should have talked to her.
00:25:28 We were dancing.
00:25:36 There was something there.
00:25:40 I could see it.
00:25:43 I just let it go.
00:25:46 - Will, you...
00:25:50 You couldn't have known.
00:25:52 - But I should have, Scott.
00:25:53 I was her husband.
00:25:55 I mean, there had to have been signs.
00:26:00 There was at least one.
00:26:02 And I didn't do anything about it,
00:26:05 not a thing.
00:26:07 - This...
00:26:11 (coughs)
00:26:12 This does not just fall on your shoulders.
00:26:15 And her, her choice?
00:26:20 To end her life?
00:26:22 You couldn't have prevented that.
00:26:26 It's not your fault or anyone else's.
00:26:29 Come here, man.
00:26:36 Come here, come here.
00:26:38 (somber music)
00:26:43 (sniffles)
00:26:45 (coughs)
00:27:06 (sniffles)
00:27:08 (sniffles)
00:27:12 (sniffles)
00:27:15 (sniffles)
00:27:30 (sniffles)
00:27:32 (gunshots)
00:27:59 (gunshots)
00:28:01 (grunts)
00:28:07 (gunshots)
00:28:21 - Whoa.
00:28:29 Feel better now?
00:28:30 - Yep.
00:28:31 Will, where are you going?
00:28:35 - To get some help.
00:28:37 - (sighs) Finally.
00:28:48 Lauren, don't eat that.
00:28:56 - It's okay.
00:28:58 Mama says the black makes my teeth whiter.
00:29:00 (sniffles)
00:29:24 - I brought you some lunch.
00:29:26 - I already told you, I'm not hungry.
00:29:29 - You really should try to eat something.
00:29:33 I'll just put it here in case you do get hungry.
00:29:39 (thuds)
00:29:41 Thanks.
00:29:59 (thuds)
00:30:06 (thuds)
00:30:08 All right, that's all of it.
00:30:14 - What is this?
00:30:19 - Everything they say you need to know about suicide.
00:30:22 Now take the entire stack and throw it in the trash.
00:30:27 - You want me to throw it away?
00:30:30 - That's right.
00:30:33 (thuds)
00:30:35 - Why did I just do that?
00:30:40 - Because a brochure can't even come close
00:30:42 to telling you what to feel
00:30:44 or how to really deal with a suicide.
00:30:46 - And you can.
00:30:48 - I believe the families of suicide victims
00:30:50 need to go through three steps,
00:30:52 but we'll get to that later.
00:30:54 First, I usually have my patients start
00:30:56 by spilling their guts.
00:30:58 - Spill my guts?
00:31:00 - Spill my guts.
00:31:02 - Right now inside of you,
00:31:04 there are tons of feelings swirling around.
00:31:07 Anger, sadness, frustration, denial, hopelessness.
00:31:12 And all of those feelings are completely understandable.
00:31:15 I'm here to help you get them out and sort through them.
00:31:19 - How are you gonna help me go through that?
00:31:23 What are you, 22?
00:31:25 - I'm 28.
00:31:27 - Isn't that a little young to be a therapist?
00:31:30 - Actually, it's not.
00:31:32 But I was too young.
00:31:34 When my brother killed himself,
00:31:37 I was 10.
00:31:39 And when my parents couldn't handle it,
00:31:42 my dad killed himself when I was 12.
00:31:46 And then finally my mom killed herself when I was 16.
00:31:52 I was the one that found them.
00:31:55 Every time, it was me.
00:31:58 I couldn't figure out why my family
00:32:01 would want to leave me all alone.
00:32:03 I figured there must be something wrong with me.
00:32:06 That's why I started to study psychology.
00:32:08 I figured if I could understand how the mind works,
00:32:12 how people work, I could figure out what I did wrong
00:32:16 and why my family did it.
00:32:19 - So what's wrong with us?
00:32:22 - Nothing. Nothing's wrong with us.
00:32:24 People who commit suicide are not thinking right.
00:32:28 They've painted a drastically false image
00:32:30 of what their life is.
00:32:32 They can't see anything positive.
00:32:34 Finally, they choose the most absolute action possible
00:32:37 for a very temporary situation.
00:32:40 - How did you get over it?
00:32:43 - You don't get over it. You get through.
00:32:46 You move on with your life.
00:32:48 I've just, I've come to the point where there are
00:32:50 some things I'll never understand.
00:32:54 - So...
00:32:56 So you don't know why they committed suicide?
00:33:00 - That's what I don't get, you know?
00:33:05 The day before she...
00:33:08 We all had the best time ever.
00:33:15 Everything was perfect.
00:33:20 Now I have to step in and play mom, which I wanted.
00:33:24 Not like this.
00:33:29 - Have you and Scott had the whole kid marriage talk yet?
00:33:33 - I drop hints.
00:33:36 Maybe he's just not ready.
00:33:39 - Vanessa, he's a man. Hints don't work.
00:33:42 Sit him down and make him talk.
00:33:46 (Vanessa sighs)
00:33:49 - Why haven't you asked her?
00:33:57 - What if she says no?
00:34:01 - You already bought her the ring.
00:34:04 Why would she say no?
00:34:06 (Scott laughs)
00:34:08 Ask her.
00:34:10 (gunshots)
00:34:12 (gunshots)
00:34:14 - Will!
00:34:24 - Oh.
00:34:26 Morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:34:28 - I heard about your wife.
00:34:30 - Yeah. It's been rough.
00:34:34 - One misstep and you're out of here, got it?
00:34:41 - I don't know what was going on at home,
00:34:43 but it's not gonna fly around here.
00:34:46 - Nothing was going on at home.
00:34:49 - People don't just kill themselves.
00:34:52 - Are you implying that I had something to do with--
00:34:56 - We're done here.
00:34:58 (gunshots)
00:35:09 (gunshots)
00:35:11 - He just accused me of killing my wife.
00:35:20 - Who?
00:35:22 - Mike.
00:35:24 - He said you killed Beth?
00:35:26 - He implied that I had caused her to commit suicide.
00:35:30 (gunshots)
00:35:32 - Look, Will, you should take the rest of the day off of work.
00:35:38 - You know you're right. I need to go clear my head.
00:35:40 - Hey, hey.
00:35:42 Are you gonna be okay?
00:35:45 - I'll be fine.
00:35:48 - Feeling better?
00:36:04 (gasps)
00:36:07 (sighs)
00:36:09 - It's been up and down.
00:36:12 - I think it's time Sadie goes back to school.
00:36:23 - It's only been a week.
00:36:25 - I think it'd be good for her.
00:36:28 Anything's better than her just lying in bed.
00:36:36 - I talked to the school counselor and she thinks she can help.
00:36:39 - I have no idea what I'm doing.
00:36:50 I don't have the slightest idea how to raise two little girls on my own.
00:36:57 - Scott and I have been talking.
00:37:04 I know Beth did all the books for the company.
00:37:08 We were thinking that...
00:37:12 We were thinking that maybe I could quit my job
00:37:16 so I could do the books and help you with the girls.
00:37:20 - But you love your job.
00:37:23 - I love you and the girls more.
00:37:26 - Wow.
00:37:31 (laughs)
00:37:33 - You and Scott have been so great.
00:37:36 Thank you.
00:37:41 For everything.
00:37:43 So, what do you think about going back to school tomorrow?
00:37:55 - Whatever.
00:38:00 - I'm sure ready. - Sure.
00:38:03 - Are you sure?
00:38:06 - Yes, I'm sure, I'm sure. I'm ready to go to school.
00:38:11 - Daddy? - Yeah?
00:38:17 - Can you do my hair like Mom did for school?
00:38:20 - Will I get condom? - Sure, sweetie.
00:38:29 - I'll get you a belda.
00:38:31 - It won't be as good as Mom's.
00:38:37 Thank you, Vanessa.
00:38:44 - Mama? - Yeah, honey?
00:38:49 - Will I ever be as pretty as you?
00:38:52 - Gosh, yes.
00:38:55 - What's your age? I looked a lot like this.
00:39:00 - But I would be prettier if I had some lip gloss.
00:39:12 And maybe some eye shadow?
00:39:15 - You know what? You're right.
00:39:23 - She's a bit young to be wearing makeup, isn't she?
00:39:27 - Daddy might think so, but a lady is never too young to look stunning.
00:39:31 - I don't think I need makeup. - Oh yeah?
00:39:34 - Yeah, I'm thinking I'll wait three to six years probably.
00:39:40 - You just made your father a very happy man.
00:39:43 - Mom? - We're in here!
00:39:46 [Music]
00:39:56 - We got it! - Yay!
00:39:59 - I'm so happy!
00:40:01 - So, Uncle Scott and I were thinking that maybe we could celebrate at the water park?
00:40:12 - Yay!
00:40:14 - Ah, stop. - Yeah, wait a minute.
00:40:17 - What is this? - Mom put makeup on Lauren.
00:40:25 - She didn't. - Aren't I beautiful?
00:40:29 - So beautiful. - Uh, perhaps a little too beautiful.
00:40:33 - Don't worry, Daddy. Sadie's waiting how long?
00:40:35 - Three to six years. - Before she even thinks about wearing makeup.
00:40:40 - That's my girl.
00:40:42 - But a lady is never too young to smell good.
00:40:46 - Mom!
00:40:50 - Love you, Daddy.
00:40:55 - You are an amazingly strong little girl.
00:41:11 - But it's okay to be sad.
00:41:14 - I'm sad.
00:41:16 - I miss Mama every day.
00:41:19 - I love you, Sadie.
00:41:31 - I love you, Daddy.
00:41:33 - Are you excited to see your friends?
00:41:51 - Yep.
00:41:54 [Bell rings]
00:41:56 - You know, if you're not ready to do this, you can change your mind.
00:42:08 - You can stay home as long as you want. It's really okay.
00:42:12 - Look, I appreciate you trying to be extra nice because Mom killed herself.
00:42:18 - But I'll be fine.
00:42:21 - I'll be fine.
00:42:23 - I love you.
00:42:34 - I don't know what to do.
00:42:37 - In the last two weeks, I've lost everything.
00:42:40 - What's left of my family continues to fall apart.
00:42:44 - If this is the way life is gonna be, I...
00:42:49 - Maybe Beth had the right idea.
00:42:51 - Stop it. That's how it starts.
00:42:53 - You put that thought on the table, and after time passes, it'll begin to look better,
00:42:57 - and you'll have the courage to actually kill yourself.
00:43:00 - You'll be strong enough or weak enough to abandon your little girls.
00:43:05 - You give yourself one option.
00:43:08 - You pick your feet up and take one step at a time.
00:43:12 - Giving up is not an option.
00:43:14 - You push forward every day, and the days that you don't want to, you do it for yourself.
00:43:18 - You do it for Sadie and for Lauren.
00:43:21 - You are fully responsible for keeping yourself alive.
00:43:27 - I think you should attend my survivor's group tonight.
00:43:32 - It might help you to see things differently.
00:43:35 - Isn't that where people go to talk about how hard their lives are?
00:43:38 - It's where people can share their struggles so others know they're not alone.
00:43:43 - I don't want anybody to know how I feel.
00:43:46 - Do you feel alone?
00:43:48 - Yes.
00:43:51 - Are you?
00:43:54 - No.
00:43:58 - Who do you have that cares about you?
00:44:01 - Vanessa, Scott, Sadie, Lauren.
00:44:08 - No one is alone unless they choose to be.
00:44:13 - Do you think Beth felt alone?
00:44:16 - I don't know.
00:44:17 - Yes, you do.
00:44:19 - I guess maybe she did.
00:44:26 - What do you think would have happened if Beth knew that others felt the way she did?
00:44:30 - What if she would have opened up?
00:44:33 - She might still be here.
00:44:41 - Look what I got you.
00:44:44 - Thanks.
00:44:56 - You're welcome.
00:44:58 - How's the shot?
00:45:01 - It's not the same without you.
00:45:03 - I miss you.
00:45:05 - I miss you too.
00:45:07 - Listen, if there's anything I can do to help with Sadie or Lauren, I can be free anytime.
00:45:13 - It's not Lauren I'm worried about. It's...
00:45:17 - Oh my God, Sadie.
00:45:20 - Sadie?
00:45:36 - I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:45:39 - How was school?
00:45:44 - It was great.
00:45:45 - What happened?
00:45:47 - Some kids were talking about how great their parents are, so I threw my milk at them.
00:45:53 - Sadie...
00:45:56 - Don't worry. Principal Miller will help me.
00:45:59 - I'm sure he'll help you.
00:46:01 - I'm sure he'll help you.
00:46:03 - Don't worry. Principal Miller let me off.
00:46:06 - My shrink said it's typical for kids to get angry after someone dies.
00:46:10 - Which basically means I can get away with anything I want right now.
00:46:16 - You know that me and your dad and Uncle Scott are here if you want to talk.
00:46:26 - Why does everyone insist that I talk?
00:46:29 - I don't want to talk.
00:46:31 - I just wish you'd leave me alone.
00:46:34 - My husband's business wasn't doing very well, but he seemed fine.
00:46:48 - I went in to work one day to do the books, and I opened the door and there he was.
00:46:55 - My mother has battled depression for years.
00:46:59 - She'd tried committing suicide several times.
00:47:02 - My name is Ken. I've been coming to this group for a while now.
00:47:08 - My wife killed herself 12 years ago.
00:47:12 - It was just before Christmas. She was in a depressed state, and she overdosed.
00:47:19 - Hanging there. He must have been there for hours.
00:47:23 - She put the barrel of my shotgun in her mouth.
00:47:27 - My son found her.
00:47:29 - Rather than passing away, she became delirious and wandered outside.
00:47:33 - He was cold and stiff.
00:47:35 - You never get over that kind of thing. You just try to move forward.
00:47:41 - She walked for hours before someone finally found her.
00:47:44 - She suffered severe frostbite on every exposed surface.
00:47:51 - He was ghostly white.
00:47:53 - Except for the purple ring around his neck.
00:47:56 - She wasn't wearing shoes.
00:47:58 - Both of her feet were amputated.
00:48:04 - And I've been trying.
00:48:08 - But my son has attempted suicide three times.
00:48:16 - Three times.
00:48:20 - Three times.
00:48:23 - I don't know what's in his life that's so bad.
00:48:31 - I love him.
00:48:37 - And I make a point of showing him and telling him every day.
00:48:42 - I would like to say something.
00:48:48 - My name is Anthony Boyd. I'm a rookie at the police department.
00:48:52 - Several weeks ago I was on a call.
00:48:56 - Following a senior detective on a suicide call.
00:48:59 - I arrived on scene. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks parked all over the street.
00:49:06 - I followed the detective into the garage where the suicide had taken place.
00:49:11 - And that's when I saw her.
00:49:13 - She was lying on the floor, lifeless, cherry red.
00:49:17 - Suffocated on the fumes of her classic car.
00:49:20 - I can still see her every time I close my eyes.
00:49:25 - I haven't slept since.
00:49:27 - I remember walking across the lawn and seeing the family of the deceased.
00:49:32 - I can't even imagine what they were thinking.
00:49:36 - I went home that night and I laid in my wife's arms and I sobbed.
00:49:40 - For the family, the father, the daughters.
00:49:43 - I was so, I cried, I was so thankful that I just had my wife.
00:49:48 - All the training I received didn't even come close to preparing me.
00:49:52 - These are standard questions.
00:49:55 - Have the two of you been fighting lately?
00:49:59 - No.
00:50:02 - Can I ask what the two of you did last night?
00:50:06 - We...
00:50:08 - We danced.
00:50:12 - Has Beth ever attempted suicide before?
00:50:16 - No.
00:50:19 - Does your wife have a history of mental illness?
00:50:23 - My wife and I weren't fighting and she wasn't crazy.
00:50:28 - I know this is difficult.
00:50:30 - Oh, you know how difficult this is?
00:50:32 - Did your wife kill herself too? Did you find her dead in the garage?
00:50:36 - No? How about you?
00:50:41 - No, I haven't.
00:50:43 - So, how about we don't pretend that you know how difficult this is?
00:50:48 - You know, I think we got what we need.
00:50:54 - I didn't realize how far the pain of suicide can reach.
00:51:01 - I saw one of my crew members at the group last night, Ken Parker.
00:51:09 - I've worked with this guy for over two years.
00:51:12 - And I never heard a thing about his wife committing suicide or about his son trying to.
00:51:19 - It explains a lot.
00:51:23 - It explains what?
00:51:26 - He's a talented guy.
00:51:29 - But the last year he's just been so up and down.
00:51:36 - I wish there was something I could do to help him.
00:51:39 - I don't know how he does it.
00:51:43 - Does what?
00:51:45 - Live every day knowing it could be his son's last?
00:51:50 - Today could be anyone's last day.
00:51:52 - If I had to find Beth dead two more times...
00:51:59 - I can't sleep.
00:52:06 - Every time I close my eyes I see her laying in my arms.
00:52:10 - Every time I smell car exhaust I remember gagging on it after getting her out of the car.
00:52:15 - I'm surrounded by horrible memories.
00:52:20 - If I had to go through that again, I couldn't do it.
00:52:26 - Well, Ken looks at it differently.
00:52:30 - Even though his son's tried three times, he still has him.
00:52:35 - As long as Max is still breathing, there's still a chance for things to go on.
00:52:39 - A chance for change.
00:52:41 - He's living in fear every day.
00:52:45 - You're living with questions. Questions that may never be answered.
00:52:49 - You can't undo something that's already been done.
00:52:56 - There's no chance for Beth to come out of it.
00:53:00 - To come back.
00:53:03 - What's worse, fear or regret?
00:53:06 - Regret.
00:53:09 - You need to complete your relationship with Beth.
00:53:13 - We all leave things unfinished with each other every day.
00:53:16 - We don't want to admit that this might be the last time we see someone.
00:53:20 - It's especially important in a suicide to come to terms with those things left unfinished and unsettled.
00:53:27 - Ken doesn't have to complete his relationship yet.
00:53:31 - You do.
00:53:33 - Thanks, Ken.
00:53:45 - Sure.
00:53:47 - Hey, Ken.
00:53:49 - About the other night. I'm sorry, I didn't know.
00:53:54 - It's all right. I try really hard not to let anybody at work know about that.
00:54:00 - Well, I'll keep it under wraps. Thank you.
00:54:04 - You know, I was wondering...
00:54:07 - I was wondering if you'd be willing to meet with my son, Max.
00:54:11 - You want me to meet with your son?
00:54:15 - I know what you've been going through.
00:54:18 - I thought if Max heard about what suicide does to someone from someone who's not his doctor or his dad...
00:54:28 - That it might make a difference.
00:54:31 [Sounds of a traffic jam]
00:54:59 - Max? - That's me.
00:55:02 - I'm Will. - Yeah, I know.
00:55:10 - So my dad conned you into this?
00:55:22 - Great.
00:55:28 - So, Max, tell me about yourself.
00:55:33 - Well, I'm sure you know the details. My mom killed herself, then I got depressed, and then I tried to kill myself, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:55:41 - I know about what's happened to you, but I don't know you.
00:55:54 - Look, you're not the first person I've had to meet with.
00:56:00 - I've met with so many therapists and people who want to try and fix me, that I don't remember their names.
00:56:07 - So whatever you hope to accomplish from this, I wouldn't set your expectations too high.
00:56:14 - He doesn't want to talk. - That's fine. You do the talking.
00:56:19 - What do I say? - Talk about whatever you want. Open up to him. You two have a lot in common.
00:56:25 - He, like you, is going through a really hard time. He has to sit there with you. If you're talking, he must be listening.
00:56:33 - So, how's your day going?
00:56:44 - Did you inherit your dad's skills with a nail gun?
00:56:49 - I think the only thing that my girls inherited from me is my stubbornness.
00:57:03 - They get all their good qualities from their mom.
00:57:10 - They get all their good qualities from their mom.
00:57:14 - She passed away a few weeks ago.
00:57:21 - Yeah, she taped a hose to our car, and...
00:57:31 - That was it.
00:57:35 - And she was gone.
00:57:39 - Well, hopefully they don't get that quality from her.
00:57:43 - I know you're trying to get me to give up, but it's not going to work. You can't get rid of me that easy.
00:57:59 - Look, I'm sorry about your wife, but I really don't want any help.
00:58:08 - I'm not here to help you. I'm here for me.
00:58:14 - I need to know what my wife was thinking the night she committed suicide.
00:58:21 - And I was hoping that maybe you could help.
00:58:29 - Shed some light on that, give me some insight.
00:58:34 - Well...
00:58:37 - The first time I tried to kill myself, I used the hose in the window technique.
00:58:46 - I was 14, and my dad had just got a new car.
00:58:52 - I remember I taped up the hose, and I was trying to kill myself.
00:59:02 - I taped up the hose, and then I brought it in through the window.
00:59:09 - Then I hopped in the seat, hit the start button, and I waited.
00:59:17 - I just sat there squeezing my eyes shut, just hoping to drift off.
00:59:29 - My dad found me asleep in the car.
00:59:35 - It was a hybrid.
00:59:39 - You didn't know that the hybrid doesn't admit exhaust when they're not in motion?
00:59:47 - No, I didn't.
00:59:50 - It's kind of funny.
00:59:52 - He was so mad, I mean, I used up the battery in the car.
00:59:55 - He had to have it towed back to the dealership.
01:00:00 - What was going through your head that would make you want to kill yourself?
01:00:10 - I wanted it to end.
01:00:16 - Your life?
01:00:18 - The sadness.
01:00:21 - The world is a horrible place. I mean, I look at life, and there are some really mean, self-centered people out there.
01:00:31 - I just seem to have a big target on my back.
01:00:36 - So why did your wife do it?
01:00:42 - I don't know.
01:00:47 - I've gone back to every day we were together. I've looked at every picture.
01:00:57 - I still can't figure it out.
01:01:04 - Do you need some help with your homework?
01:01:16 - No.
01:01:19 - Hey, Lauren. What are you drawing?
01:01:26 - Mommy.
01:01:28 - Really? What's she doing?
01:01:30 - She's dead in the car.
01:01:33 - Um, Lauren, honey, let's, um, let's color in this instead, okay?
01:01:42 - Okay.
01:01:45 - Hey, hon.
01:01:49 - Hey, how you doing?
01:01:51 - We're good.
01:01:54 - Hmm.
01:01:57 - Here, let me help, okay?
01:02:03 - Okay, there's right, that's right, that's right.
01:02:08 - There.
01:02:11 - That's not right.
01:02:15 - Yes, it is.
01:02:17 - Well, it's not how Mom did it.
01:02:20 - I know, but it's the way I do it.
01:02:25 - Sadie, please.
01:02:28 - I hate this. Mom's supposed to be helping me with my homework, not you.
01:02:34 - Mom's supposed to be cooking, not her. I don't want a new mom.
01:02:40 - I am not trying to be your mom.
01:02:44 - Sadie, I--
01:02:58 - Leave me alone.
01:03:01 - I'm sorry.
01:03:04 - I'm sorry.
01:03:08 - I'm sorry.
01:03:11 - I'm sorry.
01:03:14 - I'm sorry.
01:03:17 - I'm sorry.
01:03:21 - I'm sorry.
01:03:24 - I'm sorry.
01:03:27 - I'm sorry.
01:03:31 - Okay.
01:03:35 - I'm sorry.
01:03:38 - I'm sorry.
01:03:41 - I'm sorry.
01:03:44 - I'm sorry.
01:03:47 - I'm sorry.
01:03:51 - I'm sorry.
01:03:54 - I'm sorry.
01:03:57 - I'm sorry.
01:04:01 [sad music]
01:04:04 [sad music]
01:04:08 [sad music]
01:04:12 [sad music]
01:04:15 [sigh]
01:04:29 [sigh]
01:04:33 [sigh]
01:05:00 [sigh]
01:05:03 - I mean, I guess I did okay in school.
01:05:14 - Well, then you should be able to get a job afterwards, right?
01:05:17 - I mean, yeah, I guess--
01:05:19 - Whoa, whoa! Hey!
01:05:22 Watch where you're going! You just--you just ran into him.
01:05:27 - So?
01:05:29 - So next time you should watch where you're going.
01:05:33 - Max.
01:05:36 Tell your friend here to mind his own business.
01:05:41 Tell him, Max.
01:05:43 - It's fine, Will.
01:05:46 - You see? Everything's kosher.
01:05:49 - It's one of the reasons why I hate this school.
01:05:57 - Why doesn't he like you?
01:06:00 - I'm different.
01:06:02 - Oh, really?
01:06:04 - I can't explain it. I mean, I see it, and so does Ryan and everyone else.
01:06:10 - Yeah, well, next time you should stand up for yourself.
01:06:13 - Why make things worse?
01:06:16 - Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Where are you going?
01:06:19 - I'm going home.
01:06:26 - I know what I saw. Plus, I've seen him pushing around the other kids as well.
01:06:30 - Max has never come to me about Ryan.
01:06:34 I will not start pushing buttons that don't need to be pushed.
01:06:38 - But look, this Ryan kid has been tormenting Max.
01:06:42 He's the reason he keeps trying to kill himself.
01:06:45 - It is not your job to fix this.
01:06:48 - You're right. It's yours.
01:06:50 So what have you or this school done to help?
01:06:56 [car engine]
01:06:59 - Oh, looky here. It's Max's buddy.
01:07:14 - That's right. Max is my friend, and I want you to stop bullying him.
01:07:19 - I'm just giving him a hard time.
01:07:21 - I don't think you understand the stress that you and your friends are putting on Max and his dad.
01:07:27 Max has tried to commit suicide because of you.
01:07:31 - Look, if he's trying to end his pathetic life, that's on him.
01:07:36 - What can I say? Some people have problems.
01:07:39 This is not my problem.
01:07:43 [footsteps]
01:07:46 - Hey, hey.
01:07:54 What are you planning on doing with that?
01:07:57 - If I ever hear that you are giving Max a hard time ever again...
01:08:04 [gunshots]
01:08:05 - Hey! Whoa, whoa, okay.
01:08:07 Jeez, easy.
01:08:11 [door slams]
01:08:14 [school bell rings]
01:08:20 [students chattering]
01:08:23 [door slams]
01:08:25 [door slams]
01:08:31 - Ryan? Guys?
01:08:37 - No bodyguard today?
01:08:39 - No.
01:08:41 - Tried killing yourself lately?
01:08:44 - What? I don't know what you're talking about.
01:08:47 - Huh. That's funny.
01:08:49 [gunshot]
01:08:51 - I don't like being threatened, okay?
01:08:54 [laughs]
01:08:56 God, you are so pathetic.
01:08:58 You can't even kill yourself.
01:09:01 Do you all know that Max here is suicidal?
01:09:05 Yeah, that's right. Max has tried killing himself.
01:09:10 Several times.
01:09:13 Maybe next time, you'll have the balls to get it right.
01:09:20 - The second step to healing is to create an accurate memory picture of Beth.
01:09:30 - I've already told you what I see. I can't get it out of my head.
01:09:33 - This isn't a physical memory of what they looked like,
01:09:36 but rather a memory of who they were and how they live on inside of you.
01:09:41 Well, tell me about her.
01:09:44 - What?
01:09:46 - What was she like? What made her smile?
01:09:49 - She always seemed happy.
01:09:54 There were never any ups and downs.
01:09:57 - Let's start with something simple.
01:09:59 How did you two meet?
01:10:03 - It was the last day of finals,
01:10:07 just before Christmas break,
01:10:10 and we were hit with a blizzard.
01:10:13 The whole campus partied it up.
01:10:18 Well, all but those whose finals got pushed back.
01:10:22 So I retreated back to my room.
01:10:25 My roommates were insane.
01:10:29 So I went down to the library,
01:10:32 because it was the quietest place on campus.
01:10:35 I walked to the back of the library, and...
01:10:40 there she was.
01:10:44 Books scattered all over the table.
01:10:47 I took a seat at a table a few down from her.
01:10:58 She was so beautiful.
01:11:02 I tried to keep my mind on my studies,
01:11:09 but I couldn't help but look up at her every few seconds.
01:11:13 And...
01:11:15 one time she caught me looking over.
01:11:20 Her blue eyes peeking up over her textbooks.
01:11:26 We locked eyes.
01:11:29 I got up the nerve to go over and say hello.
01:11:40 We didn't get another minute of work done.
01:11:49 It was so surreal.
01:11:51 The snow falling outside,
01:11:53 and the decorations inside.
01:11:56 We talked until morning like we were the best of friends.
01:12:01 I walked her back to her room.
01:12:07 And her roommates were still awake,
01:12:09 because we could hear them from all the way down the hall.
01:12:13 But I got her to her door,
01:12:15 and it was just by pure magic that...
01:12:21 mistletoe was hanging from her door.
01:12:26 That was our first kiss.
01:12:37 Thank you, Aunt Vanessa.
01:12:43 - You want me to do that for you? - No, you got it.
01:12:49 - Okay. - Thanks.
01:12:52 How have your talks with Mrs. Harrison been going?
01:12:56 Fine.
01:12:57 Haven't used any milk cartons as weapons recently, have you?
01:13:01 Lauren, do you have big plans with Aunt Vanessa today?
01:13:08 I wish I could stay at home with Aunt Vanessa every day.
01:13:12 You'd stop me from getting anything done.
01:13:15 But it would be fun.
01:13:19 [door opens]
01:13:21 Sadie, can you hurry up? We gotta get you to school.
01:13:27 Whatever.
01:13:29 Sadie, you need to start treating your Aunt Vanessa with some respect.
01:13:34 Whatever.
01:13:37 [door opens]
01:13:45 [door closes]
01:13:47 [sighs]
01:13:49 - Are you okay, Sadie? - I'm fine.
01:14:08 - Do you want to color with me? - Lauren, please leave me alone.
01:14:15 [sighs]
01:14:17 [sniffles]
01:14:21 Max, you're gonna be late for school, buddy.
01:14:39 Max?
01:14:43 Hey.
01:14:45 Max? You all right?
01:14:48 I'm not going.
01:14:51 Is everything okay at school?
01:14:56 I wish you would just talk to me.
01:15:01 If there's a problem, let me help. Let Will help, or Dr. Walker.
01:15:05 Or stand up for yourself.
01:15:08 Don't just sit around in your room all day feeling sorry for yourself.
01:15:11 Come on. Let's go. Do something about it.
01:15:15 Hey!
01:15:31 Whoa. Max, hey.
01:15:35 Shut up!
01:15:39 - I understand. - You hoped I would get it right this time.
01:15:43 Do it.
01:15:51 Kill me!
01:15:53 I can't. I can't.
01:15:57 Please don't.
01:16:02 You're the weak one.
01:16:05 [gunshot]
01:16:08 Max, Max, can you hear me?
01:16:10 You're gonna be all right. We gotta fight through this, okay?
01:16:13 - Get out of here. - 18-year-old male, gunshot wound to the chest.
01:16:16 Suicide attempt.
01:16:18 Sir, I need to say something.
01:16:21 - I love you, Max. - Thank you.
01:16:23 I love you, Max!
01:16:25 You and your sister are everything to me.
01:16:45 And it hurts me to see you this way.
01:16:52 I feel like I not only lost my wife,
01:16:57 but I also lost my little girl.
01:17:00 I love you, Sadie.
01:17:11 I love you, Sadie.
01:17:13 Good night, Lauren.
01:17:24 I love you.
01:17:26 Love you too, Daddy.
01:17:28 - Daddy? - Yeah, baby?
01:17:31 I won't talk about Mom anymore because it makes you cry.
01:17:36 I want you to talk about her.
01:17:39 We need to remember her every day.
01:17:42 See, Daddy? You're sad.
01:17:45 I'm not sad.
01:17:48 I'm just remembering how amazing she was.
01:17:52 Okay.
01:17:55 Good night.
01:17:58 Well, your son's lucky. The bullet missed anything by that won't pass just straight through.
01:18:07 So he's going to be okay?
01:18:09 Yes, but we're going to have to keep him a few days to monitor him,
01:18:12 and then he's likely to be placed back into treatment.
01:18:15 This was his third attempt.
01:18:18 Can I see him?
01:18:20 He's resting right now, but you're welcome to go in and stay with him.
01:18:23 Thank you, Doctor.
01:18:25 [beeping]
01:18:28 Hey, Dad.
01:18:50 There's still a blood stain on the mailbox.
01:18:52 Oh, I can get that.
01:18:54 You better.
01:18:56 It's your fault you're dumb enough to piss off that crazy kid.
01:19:00 Yeah, that kid comes back, I'm going to hand you over to him.
01:19:03 Dad, please don't talk to me like that.
01:19:05 You don't tell me what to do.
01:19:08 Got it?
01:19:10 Got it?
01:19:14 [beeping]
01:19:17 Max?
01:19:37 Dad?
01:19:39 I'm here, son.
01:19:42 [sighs]
01:19:44 Where am I?
01:19:49 The hospital.
01:19:51 Oh.
01:19:53 Oh.
01:19:56 [sighs]
01:19:58 [clears throat]
01:20:09 Dad, I'm...
01:20:12 I'm sorry, Dad, for all this.
01:20:15 It's okay.
01:20:17 It's all right.
01:20:19 I wish I could finish it.
01:20:24 I wish I would have just died.
01:20:27 Max, please.
01:20:29 You made it through again.
01:20:31 There's got to be a reason.
01:20:36 I know you want me to tell you that...
01:20:40 I'm better now.
01:20:43 That I want to live.
01:20:47 That I'll never try this again.
01:20:51 But I can't.
01:20:57 I'm sorry.
01:21:00 Just rest now.
01:21:04 Just rest.
01:21:07 Keep your eyes closed.
01:21:13 Yes.
01:21:14 Keep them closed.
01:21:16 Keep them closed.
01:21:18 Oh.
01:21:19 I got you.
01:21:20 I got you.
01:21:22 No peeking.
01:21:24 Do I smell mac and cheese?
01:21:27 What is this?
01:21:31 This, my darling, is a date.
01:21:36 Hey, Ken.
01:21:49 Will.
01:21:51 I just wanted to tell you that Max is getting better.
01:22:00 That's great.
01:22:02 Yeah.
01:22:04 Uh, look, Ken.
01:22:07 I'm sorry.
01:22:10 I was just trying to help, and I crossed the line.
01:22:15 You did try to help.
01:22:19 You did exactly what I asked you to do.
01:22:22 You know, this last attempt, it was, uh...
01:22:26 It came as a complete surprise to me.
01:22:31 'Cause for a moment, Max seemed like his old self again.
01:22:36 He had a sweetness about him that he had...
01:22:41 before his mom died.
01:22:44 That was because of you.
01:22:49 You know, the truth is that...
01:22:53 what he's given to me is a gift from God to watch over...
01:22:57 he and his mom.
01:23:00 And I failed them both.
01:23:05 Anyway, uh, you really should go see him.
01:23:13 I don't think that's a very good idea.
01:23:17 He needs you, Will.
01:23:20 That's for him.
01:23:23 You think about it, all right?
01:23:27 Okay.
01:23:29 All right.
01:23:31 ♪ All liquids and endless day ♪
01:23:36 ♪ I will stay ♪
01:23:39 I can't...
01:23:42 I can't wait.
01:23:44 I can't wait.
01:23:46 Wait.
01:23:49 [ Sighs ]
01:23:51 Vanessa, I know life has been about Will and the girls recently.
01:23:56 But seeing you with them...
01:24:02 has made me realize I cannot be without you.
01:24:06 ♪ A cold wind bites and traps my lips ♪
01:24:11 Vanessa Ann Martin.
01:24:14 ♪ I'm here right now ♪
01:24:16 Will you marry me?
01:24:19 Yes.
01:24:23 [ Chuckles ]
01:24:24 Okay.
01:24:26 ♪ All liquids and endless day ♪
01:24:28 ♪ I will stay ♪
01:24:31 Yeah!
01:24:33 [ Laughter ]
01:24:35 ♪ I'll break and change ♪
01:24:37 ♪ I'll break and change ♪
01:24:40 There's one last thing I have for you.
01:24:43 It's time to say goodbye.
01:24:46 I-I don't know how.
01:24:51 It's something we don't do well as people.
01:24:54 And when we do say goodbye,
01:24:56 it's usually not met with the finality of saying goodbye to someone who has died.
01:25:01 I think you need to go home.
01:25:04 Go through her things.
01:25:06 Make it a home again.
01:25:08 But for you and your daughters.
01:25:10 Tell Beth goodbye.
01:25:13 [ Clattering ]
01:25:16 [ Clattering ]
01:25:19 [ Clattering ]
01:25:23 [ Sighs ]
01:25:50 [ Gasping ]
01:25:53 I'm so sorry, Will.
01:26:02 What am I supposed to do now?
01:26:04 You can move on.
01:26:06 You know it wasn't you.
01:26:08 You could have the piece so many families search for.
01:26:12 Why didn't she talk to me?
01:26:16 She should have talked to me.
01:26:18 Yeah, she should have, but she was dealing with things long before she met you.
01:26:23 It's hard to undo bad habits.
01:26:27 Women in these situations tend to believe that they don't deserve to be happy.
01:26:31 And in extreme cases, tragedy happens.
01:26:34 It's-it's not that she was unhappy, she was too happy.
01:26:37 People can only accept the love they think they deserve.
01:26:41 I know all that.
01:26:43 But now I know who's responsible.
01:26:45 What am I supposed to do about this woman who was tormenting her?
01:26:48 There's nothing you can do.
01:26:51 She should have to look me in the eye and know the damage that she's done.
01:26:56 Do you really think that'll make a difference?
01:26:59 It would for me.
01:27:02 Let it go, Will.
01:27:04 Like Beth tried to let it go.
01:27:06 This woman wouldn't let her let it go.
01:27:09 Okay, listen to me.
01:27:10 It's not this woman's fault that Beth is dead.
01:27:13 It's not Ryan's fault that Max tried to shoot himself.
01:27:16 People are fully responsible for their own actions.
01:27:19 And I know it's hard to hear, Will, but it's the truth.
01:27:22 Okay, I can't stop you.
01:27:28 But by doing this, you'll be continuing the situation.
01:27:32 You're no better off than she is.
01:27:34 You need to let it go, Will.
01:27:37 Just let it go.
01:27:40 [Sighs]
01:28:08 [Song playing]
01:28:11 What?
01:28:14 You are so beautiful.
01:28:17 We are so blessed.
01:28:21 We are?
01:28:22 No.
01:28:23 The girls and I.
01:28:26 Life with you is so right.
01:28:29 We couldn't ask for anything more.
01:28:32 I love...
01:28:35 everything about you.
01:28:40 I wake up every morning, and I thank God
01:28:46 that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:28:50 What's the matter?
01:28:55 Beth.
01:28:58 I'm fine.
01:29:00 Let's just go to bed.
01:29:03 [Song playing]
01:29:07 [Song playing]
01:29:10 [Song playing]
01:29:13 [Song playing]
01:29:16 [Song playing]
01:29:19 [Music playing]
01:29:23 [Music playing]
01:29:26 [Music playing]
01:29:29 (gentle music)
01:29:31 (paper rustling)
01:29:34 (gentle music)
01:29:36 (gentle music)
01:29:39 (gentle music)
01:29:42 (gentle music)
01:29:44 (gentle music)
01:29:47 (gentle music)
01:29:49 (gentle music)
01:29:52 (gentle music)
01:29:55 (gentle music)
01:29:57 (gentle music)
01:30:00 (gentle music)
01:30:02 (sighs)
01:30:10 (sighs)
01:30:18 (thuds)
01:30:21 (glass shatters)
01:30:24 - Sadie, are you okay?
01:30:29 - I'm fine.
01:30:30 Wait.
01:30:37 I need help.
01:30:41 (gentle music)
01:30:50 (gentle music)
01:30:52 (glass shatters)
01:31:03 (gentle music)
01:31:05 - Sweetie, are you okay?
01:31:16 - I'm fine.
01:31:17 I'm fine.
01:31:18 - We can take a break.
01:31:21 - No, keep going.
01:31:22 I want Mama to see how beautiful I can be.
01:31:27 (gentle music)
01:31:46 You look absolutely stunning.
01:31:48 - I miss Mama.
01:31:52 - I'm so pretty, I know.
01:31:55 (sobs)
01:32:01 (sobs)
01:32:08 (gentle music)
01:32:11 - So I found my wife's journal.
01:32:30 - And you got your answers?
01:32:33 - I did.
01:32:37 - Did it make it easier?
01:32:39 - No.
01:32:43 You're lucky.
01:32:46 You know that, right?
01:32:47 You have another chance.
01:32:51 Don't ever let anyone make you feel like
01:32:56 you're not worth it.
01:32:57 There will always be those people out there
01:33:07 who are gonna be sure to point out your faults.
01:33:09 People love to place blame and point fingers.
01:33:13 They're so full of poison
01:33:16 and they're willing to give it away for free.
01:33:20 All you can do is control yourself.
01:33:24 You can't let what other people say affect you.
01:33:32 You gotta shrug it off.
01:33:36 And then you have to forgive them.
01:33:39 You know, surround yourself with people
01:33:51 who will strengthen you and then let them.
01:33:55 Life is so precious.
01:34:03 Life is so precious.
01:34:04 Don't take it for granted.
01:34:07 Live, Max.
01:34:12 Live your life.
01:34:14 - Oh, I can come back at another time, it's fine.
01:34:22 - No, no, no.
01:34:23 I was just about to leave.
01:34:25 (gentle music)
01:34:28 (footsteps thudding)
01:34:31 (gentle music)
01:34:34 (footsteps thudding)
01:34:37 (gentle music)
01:34:42 (gentle music)
01:34:45 (gentle music)
01:34:48 (gentle music)
01:35:17 - Do I look pretty, Mama?
01:35:19 I put on makeup for you.
01:35:22 I tried to do it by myself, but I didn't know how.
01:35:29 You said you'd be there for me when I was ready,
01:35:35 but you weren't.
01:35:37 Do you think I look pretty?
01:35:41 Do I, Mom?
01:35:44 (gentle music)
01:35:46 She can't tell me I'm pretty.
01:35:50 She's dead.
01:35:52 She's never coming back.
01:35:55 - Look at me.
01:35:56 You are so beautiful.
01:35:59 You're the sweetest, most darling 11-year-old girl.
01:36:03 I know Mom is gone, but we are here.
01:36:08 We love you,
01:36:12 and we are never going to leave you, Sadie.
01:36:14 I promise.
01:36:16 (gentle music)
01:36:20 You go back with Uncle Scott and Aunt Vanessa?
01:36:38 (gentle music)
01:36:40 (gentle music)
01:36:43 I'm sorry I haven't been here to talk to you sooner.
01:37:01 It's been a rough few months,
01:37:04 but we are getting through.
01:37:09 Every day is a different challenge.
01:37:11 I've tried to move on.
01:37:16 I've tried to forgive you.
01:37:18 I've made excuses as to why things ended up
01:37:23 the way they have,
01:37:24 but none of that helps.
01:37:27 I'm so mad at you, Beth.
01:37:32 Why didn't you come to me?
01:37:36 Why didn't you tell me what was going on?
01:37:39 We were best friends.
01:37:41 There's nothing you could have told me
01:37:45 that would have made me love you any less.
01:37:47 We could have gotten through this together.
01:37:54 None of that matters now.
01:37:58 It's too late, I mean, you're gone.
01:38:03 There's nothing I can do about it.
01:38:07 (gentle music)
01:38:09 So, I'm going to take our two beautiful girls home.
01:38:17 I'm gonna watch them grow into beautiful women.
01:38:23 Women I know you would have been proud of.
01:38:29 And I'm sure that I will cry from time to time
01:38:36 wishing that you could see the smiles
01:38:39 on their faces as they grow,
01:38:40 as they go on their first dates.
01:38:45 As I walk them down the aisle,
01:38:48 I promise to cherish the memories that you missed.
01:38:55 I know you thought this would end the pain, Beth,
01:39:00 but it didn't.
01:39:02 (gentle music)
01:39:04 You have no idea how many lives your death has affected.
01:39:12 I will go on dates.
01:39:18 I will try to love again.
01:39:20 I will hold the door
01:39:26 and I will pull out her chair for her.
01:39:32 I will do my best to love her
01:39:34 like I still love you.
01:39:39 Goodbye, Beth.
01:39:53 (gentle music)
01:40:02 (door slams)
01:40:04 So, what's next?
01:40:06 We live.
01:40:10 (upbeat music)
01:40:21 (upbeat music)
01:40:24 ♪ Live your life gloriously ♪
01:40:35 (gentle music)
01:40:45 (gentle music)
01:40:47 ♪ I live past yesterday, I'm here right now ♪
01:40:56 ♪ My brain keeps wondering in and out ♪
01:41:05 ♪ I'm breathing in and I'm not sure how ♪
01:41:14 (gentle music)
01:41:16 ♪ Life's been rough to me, I've been shut down ♪
01:41:22 ♪ The cold wind bites and chaps my lips ♪
01:41:31 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:41:44 ♪ The call it quits and then this day I will stay ♪
01:41:49 ♪ I cash it in, I know spring gives change ♪
01:41:57 (gentle music)
01:42:10 ♪ No reason for thought breaking out of my cage ♪
01:42:15 ♪ I've gotten fed up looking at the same page ♪
01:42:24 ♪ I've got some ideas, I'll write 'em all down ♪
01:42:36 ♪ Open your eyes and find what I've found ♪
01:42:41 ♪ The cold wind bites and chaps my lips ♪
01:42:50 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:43:02 ♪ The call it quits and then this day I will stay ♪
01:43:07 ♪ I cash it in, I know spring gives change ♪
01:43:16 (gentle music)
01:43:19 (upbeat music)
01:43:21 ♪ The cold wind bites and chaps my lips ♪
01:43:46 ♪ I'm here right now screaming this is it ♪
01:43:51 ♪ The call it quits and then this day I will stay ♪
01:44:00 ♪ I cash it in, I know spring gives change ♪
01:44:08 (gentle music)
01:44:11 (upbeat music)
01:44:13 (ominous music)