Watch Big Bruh on Solarmovie - Free & HD Quality
Transcript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:03 Undefeated prospect, Monty Montez Sheffield
00:00:12 faces the longest reigning heavyweight champion
00:00:14 in boxing history.
00:00:16 Randy "The Body Stretcher" Bowers.
00:00:20 The fight of the century.
00:00:29 This fight is brought to you by RugPool, the fastest
00:00:31 growing app in crypto, and Sam's Spiked Seltzer.
00:00:36 Drink like a tea.
00:00:38 Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.
00:00:41 Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner,
00:00:44 wearing two bald eagles as trunks.
00:00:47 Ceremony!
00:00:48 The challenger, holding a professional record
00:00:52 of 27 wins, zero defeats, and six hoes,
00:00:56 presenting the pride of Jacksonburg, Georgia,
00:01:01 Monty Montez Sheffield.
00:01:05 And his opponent, fighting out of the red corner,
00:01:09 the reigning, defending, undisputed, undefeated,
00:01:14 heavyweight champion of the world, Randy "The Body
00:01:19 Stretcher" Bowers.
00:01:21 You got this, bro.
00:01:25 I already put it out into the universe.
00:01:27 That's like planets and stars and shit.
00:01:29 Oh, man.
00:01:29 I appreciate that.
00:01:30 Now, the only thing the universe will give you is syphilis.
00:01:33 Ask them brothers in Tuskegee.
00:01:35 I need you to focus, Montez.
00:01:36 And after you win, we're going to get lit.
00:01:41 I got us a section at Club Queef.
00:01:44 I know a guy.
00:01:44 He knows Mr. Queef.
00:01:45 Uh, uh, uh.
00:01:47 Oh!
00:01:48 Keep your eyes on the prize.
00:01:50 Money and legacy.
00:01:52 That's all that matters.
00:01:53 Everything else is just noise.
00:01:55 But, Grant, my boy's just showing me some love.
00:01:57 Love is currency for poor people.
00:01:59 Villains don't pay the bills.
00:02:01 Never have, never will.
00:02:03 You heard me?
00:02:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:07 [INAUDIBLE]
00:02:08 [GRUNTING]
00:02:11 My bust a move?
00:02:12 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02:14 [CHOIR SINGING]
00:02:19 [GASPING]
00:02:20 [GASPING]
00:02:23 One, two--
00:02:27 Get up so I can knock you down.
00:02:29 Nah.
00:02:30 Nah.
00:02:31 Yeah, nah.
00:02:32 What you mean, nah?
00:02:34 You can't nah me.
00:02:35 I spent my whole life dreaming of this moment.
00:02:37 Can't do it.
00:02:38 Come on.
00:02:38 Nope.
00:02:39 Three.
00:02:39 Why not?
00:02:40 Because you--
00:02:41 Are a bad person.
00:02:43 He is making a good point.
00:02:45 Then kick my ass.
00:02:47 I wish it was that simple.
00:02:48 I'm a role model.
00:02:49 Kids look up to me.
00:02:50 Whoa, corporations back me.
00:02:53 If I break bread with a guy like you,
00:02:55 that'll make me complicit in your unacceptable behavior.
00:02:58 Four.
00:02:59 A guy like me?
00:03:00 Yeah, a guy like you.
00:03:03 Oopsie.
00:03:05 Oh, my bad.
00:03:07 Hey, hey, Max.
00:03:08 I don't have that answer.
00:03:09 I'm not black, OK?
00:03:10 I'm Money Monteith.
00:03:12 [DING]
00:03:12 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03:13 Let it flow.
00:03:13 Cash money in the air.
00:03:15 All slow, all slow, baby.
00:03:17 Can I ask you something?
00:03:19 I'ma throw it up and let it blow.
00:03:22 I'ma throw it up and let it blow.
00:03:26 Money, money, money on the floor.
00:03:28 Hello?
00:03:29 Is anyone there?
00:03:31 I hear a voice.
00:03:32 Every time I see her on the go.
00:03:35 Got a show in Atlanta.
00:03:36 She a strip on the pole.
00:03:38 It explode and I'm back picking with--
00:03:41 We ain't scrapping because of that.
00:03:42 After six months of negotiations,
00:03:44 press conferences, training camps, and weight cuts,
00:03:47 I'm condemning your ass live on pay-per-view
00:03:51 because I wanted to make a statement.
00:03:53 Eight, nine--
00:03:55 Clean up your act, Monteith.
00:03:56 You an embarrassment to the boxing community.
00:03:58 --10.
00:03:59 It's over.
00:04:00 He's out.
00:04:02 If you forfeit the belt, how people
00:04:04 going to know I'm the true champ?
00:04:05 A true champ is measured by what he does
00:04:08 when the world isn't watching.
00:04:10 You did this in front of all of us.
00:04:11 It's 40 cameras out there.
00:04:13 You're not thinking straight, man.
00:04:15 Both our legacies on the line.
00:04:16 See, the difference between me and you
00:04:18 is I'm willing to make a sacrifice
00:04:19 to fight for what's right.
00:04:21 Are you?
00:04:25 Are you?
00:04:25 Are you?
00:04:26 Are you?
00:04:29 This ain't fair.
00:04:31 I want a rematch.
00:04:32 I'll tell you what.
00:04:32 Prove to me you're a good person and I'll give you one.
00:04:35 Till then, my hands are tied.
00:04:38 Hey, Earl, give me out these damn gloves.
00:04:40 And new heavyweight champion of the world,
00:04:43 Money Montez Sheffield.
00:04:45 I agree with y'all.
00:04:52 I ain't the true champ.
00:04:53 His belt don't mean nothing to me.
00:04:55 I'm not the true champ.
00:04:57 His belt mean nothing.
00:04:59 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:05:02 No, but that's horrible.
00:05:05 [BELL RINGING]
00:05:09 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:05:12 Not until I earn it.
00:05:18 Bro, why aren't you lit?
00:05:20 Be honest.
00:05:21 Do you think I'm a good person?
00:05:22 Bro, bro, bro.
00:05:24 You're like the goodest person I know.
00:05:26 Who else would give me an accounting job
00:05:28 with zero experience?
00:05:30 You always know the right thing to say.
00:05:32 That's why you my boy.
00:05:33 Uh-uh, uh-uh.
00:05:35 Skrrt.
00:05:35 Skrrt.
00:05:36 And that's why you my girl.
00:05:45 You play by your own rules, just like me.
00:05:47 God damn, I'm sorry, y'all.
00:05:49 The hell you just say?
00:05:52 Nothing.
00:05:53 I'm old as hell.
00:05:54 I ain't old as shit.
00:05:56 I said I love him.
00:05:58 Champ, champ, champ.
00:05:59 Hey, over here.
00:05:59 Champ.
00:06:01 How many times I got to warn you about having feelings?
00:06:03 But my boy and my girl are my friends.
00:06:05 It's a cold world, money.
00:06:07 And if you want to survive, then you got to be the coldest.
00:06:10 I'm talking Nino Brown, Scarface, Lea Michele.
00:06:14 These people don't love you.
00:06:17 They love what you have to offer.
00:06:19 And they'll jump ship as soon as something better
00:06:21 comes their way.
00:06:22 Granny, you tripping.
00:06:23 You think the people I love will really abandon me?
00:06:26 They always do.
00:06:29 They always do.
00:06:32 Now you're going to rematch the body stretcher and whip him.
00:06:35 And after that, you'll be the true champ.
00:06:37 Your money will double and your loved ones
00:06:39 will have nowhere better to go.
00:06:41 You hear me?
00:06:42 Now how can I prove to the body stretcher
00:06:43 that I'm a good person?
00:06:45 Oh, I can just copy what he does online.
00:06:48 That's where everybody go to flex.
00:06:50 Damn, he ain't got no O's on here.
00:06:53 Hold up, what's this?
00:06:56 Big Brothers of America.
00:06:58 Good people doing good things.
00:07:00 Oh, and they give out trophies.
00:07:02 OK, bet.
00:07:03 Wait till they get a load of me.
00:07:13 I don't need a fucking ID.
00:07:22 I'm Money Montez Sheffield.
00:07:24 Money Montez Sheffield?
00:07:25 Yeah, fool.
00:07:26 I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.
00:07:28 Cod.
00:07:29 I thought the body stretcher was the champ.
00:07:31 You beat him?
00:07:33 Let me check your Wikipedia.
00:07:34 Uh-huh.
00:07:35 OK, wow.
00:07:37 Nice.
00:07:37 Nice.
00:07:39 Ooh.
00:07:39 What?
00:07:40 It says here you let Jake Paul say the N-word.
00:07:43 Man, that white boy cool.
00:07:46 Big Brother's a mentorship program, Mr. Sheffield.
00:07:48 We pair underprivileged kids with adults
00:07:50 who need a reality check.
00:07:51 And together, you make the community a better place.
00:07:54 Now, when I looked you up online,
00:07:55 I saw you were a sick, sick man.
00:07:57 And there is no way in hell I would ever pair you up
00:07:59 with one of my kids for free.
00:08:02 Now that I'm taken care of, what do you want?
00:08:09 That trophy.
00:08:10 If I win Big Brother month, then body stretcher
00:08:13 will see I'm a better person than him
00:08:15 and have no choice but to give me a rematch.
00:08:17 How much?
00:08:18 I can be bought.
00:08:24 But that spray-painted piece of plastic must be earned.
00:08:28 It's worth a couple of dollars.
00:08:30 Man, take this money.
00:08:31 Leverage is priceless.
00:08:33 If you want to win, you got to play by my rules.
00:08:36 Fuck that.
00:08:37 Money Montez plays by his own rules.
00:08:39 Guess you'll never be the true champ.
00:08:42 Fine.
00:08:46 Now, Mr. Sheffield, have you ever done charity before?
00:08:49 Of course.
00:08:50 Every year, I give thousands of dollars to that something,
00:08:53 something awareness thing.
00:08:54 Well, this thing is a bit different.
00:08:56 And since you're in a crunch, I'll make it easy for you.
00:08:59 All you got to do is make this poor girl happy
00:09:01 in the next two days.
00:09:03 And Big Brother of the month is yours.
00:09:05 Easy.
00:09:06 I make broke bitches happy all the time.
00:09:25 Mr. Sheffield, Nikki.
00:09:26 Nikki, Mr. Sheffield.
00:09:28 My friend Louie over here said you were looking for a big bro.
00:09:31 Nah.
00:09:32 Nah?
00:09:33 Yeah, nah.
00:09:34 I'm not going anywhere with no grown man who walks
00:09:36 around in basketball shorts.
00:09:38 Well, fuck you too, old lonely ass girl.
00:09:41 This is Valenciaga.
00:09:42 Excuse us, Mr. Sheffield.
00:09:44 Hey, talk to me.
00:09:46 I'm tired of you bringing me these chumps, Louie.
00:09:48 Look, school just banned critical race theory.
00:09:50 And now I'm failing math, which doesn't make any sense.
00:09:54 But you know, public school, you get what you pay for.
00:09:57 What's really going on?
00:10:00 I'm done with big bros who aren't
00:10:03 serious about making the community a better place.
00:10:05 You've known Mr. Sheffield for two seconds.
00:10:08 I've been here for five years.
00:10:10 I know a chump when I see one.
00:10:12 And I don't have time to play anymore, Louie.
00:10:15 Racism, gun violence, poverty, Earth's got what,
00:10:18 three years left?
00:10:19 Everything sucks.
00:10:20 Nobody cares.
00:10:21 And I'm tired of it.
00:10:22 I want to be the change I want to see.
00:10:26 And that starts with a big bruh who's
00:10:28 here for the right reasons.
00:10:32 I understand.
00:10:35 But maybe if you didn't care so much.
00:10:39 That's selfish.
00:10:41 I ain't selfish.
00:10:42 You're always such a negative Nancy.
00:10:44 Sometimes being selfish means being happy.
00:10:47 Don't you want to be happy?
00:10:49 Heck, don't you want to have friends?
00:10:51 [LAUGHTER]
00:10:55 He's right, Marissa.
00:10:56 I want to be happy.
00:10:57 And I want to have friends, like real people friends.
00:11:00 But I still want to be me.
00:11:03 Be honest.
00:11:04 Do I care too much?
00:11:07 But if I stop caring, then who else will?
00:11:10 Name one time I've ever been able to count on someone else.
00:11:15 Mr. Penguin doesn't count.
00:11:16 He's not real.
00:11:18 [CRYING]
00:11:22 Hey, Nikki.
00:11:30 Are you OK?
00:11:31 What's happening?
00:11:37 For some strange reason, I feel good about myself.
00:11:40 That's clout.
00:11:40 It's what you get when you kick it with someone famous.
00:11:44 I didn't know he was famous.
00:11:46 That changes everything.
00:11:47 What a community.
00:11:48 With his platform, I can make the world a better place.
00:11:52 So what do you say?
00:11:53 I say-- I'm Nikki Cooper.
00:11:56 And I'm honored to have you as my big bro.
00:11:58 First thing first.
00:12:00 Custom handshake!
00:12:03 [LAUGHTER]
00:12:05 Skrt!
00:12:06 [INTERPOSING VOICES]
00:12:09 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:12:13 [DING]
00:12:14 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:12:18 [BALL BOUNCING]
00:12:21 [GRUNT]
00:12:24 Whatever you're selling, I ain't buying.
00:12:26 Your name's Darius.
00:12:27 I'm here for boxing lessons.
00:12:29 Let me see you jam.
00:12:30 OK, get ready then.
00:12:33 [SCREAMING]
00:12:35 [SCREAMING]
00:12:36 Boy, I got toilet paper tougher than you.
00:12:39 And I only use the single ply.
00:12:42 Please, please, please.
00:12:43 My dad hits my mom.
00:12:45 And I want you to teach me how to kick his butt.
00:12:48 That is terrible.
00:12:50 Yeah, it's bad.
00:12:51 It's real bad.
00:12:53 Your mama must got a smart mouth, huh?
00:12:58 Don't you talk about my mama!
00:12:59 You take it back!
00:13:01 [SCREAMING]
00:13:02 This here is the next Money Monkeys!
00:13:08 This better be electric.
00:13:09 My carbon footprint is zero.
00:13:11 You got some small feet.
00:13:12 My carbon footprint is a 15.
00:13:15 I'm talking about climate change, you dope.
00:13:16 It doesn't worry you that a hurricane happens every day?
00:13:20 This is the only Zip-a-rooni in the US with a flood pattern.
00:13:23 Mine's the exclusive.
00:13:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:13:29 I'm not getting in that emission spewing death trap.
00:13:32 Don't you want to be happy?
00:13:33 Don't you want to have friends?
00:13:35 Have friends?
00:13:37 Have friends?
00:13:39 Ugh.
00:13:40 I know how stubborn you can be.
00:13:42 Fine.
00:13:45 Who the hell are they?
00:13:46 That's my boy, and that's my girl.
00:13:49 They're my best friend.
00:13:50 They're not your friends.
00:13:52 They're your entourage.
00:13:53 No, they're solid.
00:13:54 You completely wrong about them.
00:13:56 The money-grubbing yes-man and the nonchalant supermodel?
00:14:01 Yeah, they're definitely members of your entourage.
00:14:04 Nope, that's my boy, and that's my girl.
00:14:07 Well, then tell me, what are their names?
00:14:11 That's my boy, and that's my girl.
00:14:15 Boy, I'm not about to do this all day with you.
00:14:17 They go, or I go.
00:14:20 You don't have to take her crap.
00:14:21 You're Monty Montez.
00:14:22 [SIGHS]
00:14:29 [LAUGHTER]
00:14:35 Listen, guys--
00:14:36 No.
00:14:36 --without you, bro, I'll be back with y'all--
00:14:38 No.
00:14:39 --as soon as I get what I want.
00:14:40 No.
00:14:40 On guard.
00:14:41 Can I at least have something to remember you by?
00:14:43 Sure, anything.
00:14:45 Just promise you won't move on if anything better
00:14:47 comes your way.
00:14:49 This helps.
00:14:52 Thanks for the money, Monty.
00:14:55 Are you going to be OK without me?
00:14:58 Let's go.
00:14:59 Hello, I'm not getting any younger here.
00:15:06 Friends of mine.
00:15:07 Ready for the best day ever?
00:15:13 [GIGGLES]
00:15:15 Yo, slow down.
00:15:16 On Martin Luther King Boulevard?
00:15:18 Oh, yeah, no.
00:15:19 What are you doing?
00:15:24 Hello?
00:15:25 You just passed the parking lot for the Planned Parenthood
00:15:27 picnic.
00:15:28 We're doing something fun first.
00:15:30 I promise you're going to love it, friend.
00:15:33 Friend, friend, friend?
00:15:36 Yeah, OK.
00:15:37 That was fast.
00:15:37 I should have warned kind of them.
00:15:39 Let's go, friend.
00:15:40 Just a little bit further.
00:15:47 Bro, really?
00:15:48 What?
00:15:50 Monty.
00:15:51 What?
00:15:51 You stepped on those guys.
00:15:54 What guys?
00:15:54 Them.
00:15:55 Who?
00:15:59 Bro.
00:16:00 Bro, you can't see homeless people.
00:16:02 They ain't have fought in the war.
00:16:04 Homeless?
00:16:05 What's that?
00:16:06 Get off him!
00:16:08 Just because these men have fallen on hard times
00:16:10 does not make them any less human.
00:16:13 Then what I do?
00:16:14 I want you to give them money.
00:16:18 Seriously, joke's over.
00:16:20 You had your little fun.
00:16:21 Give them money.
00:16:22 Give them money.
00:16:23 Give them money!
00:16:25 Hey, hey, hey!
00:16:26 Like little scraps say, OK, K, K. Where they at?
00:16:31 Warmer.
00:16:32 Warmer.
00:16:33 [SCREAMING]
00:16:40 We did a good thing.
00:16:45 That woman was a capitalist ignorant to our nation's
00:16:49 growing wealth gap.
00:16:50 I bet she know now.
00:16:53 Oh my god!
00:16:54 Princess Lana!
00:16:56 [SCREAMING]
00:16:57 Is it closed?
00:17:04 Where's everybody at?
00:17:05 I rented it out for the day, even the employees.
00:17:08 We can make them fight if you want.
00:17:09 What a waste of money.
00:17:13 You could have bought every kid at my school
00:17:15 a bulletproof backpack.
00:17:17 But no.
00:17:18 Montez wouldn't be caught dead standing in a line.
00:17:21 Princess Plaza is the happiest place in the universe.
00:17:25 [CRASH]
00:17:26 I figured if it was just us here,
00:17:28 we'd get all the happiness that this place makes.
00:17:31 Well, that's sweet.
00:17:34 No one's ever cared about my feelings.
00:17:36 I love feelings.
00:17:37 A matter of fact, let's take a picture of our happy feelings
00:17:40 right now.
00:17:42 Not so fast, white girls.
00:17:44 We want a picture with Princess Chocolate.
00:17:45 [GROANING]
00:17:47 Aw, man.
00:17:51 I forgot she wasn't got to go to her home movie.
00:17:53 Sheesh.
00:17:54 Control it.
00:18:02 You're too emotional.
00:18:03 [SCREAMING]
00:18:05 Feelings don't pay the bills.
00:18:09 Oof.
00:18:10 What happened?
00:18:11 You were locked in the zone.
00:18:12 Boy, you got something special.
00:18:14 I do?
00:18:15 For real?
00:18:16 Yes.
00:18:16 It's called trauma.
00:18:18 Trauma?
00:18:19 And if you exploit trauma, it can make you very rich,
00:18:23 but only if you know how to control it.
00:18:27 Otherwise, it'll ruin your life.
00:18:29 How do I control it, then?
00:18:30 You take all your feelings, and you just
00:18:34 bury them shits deep.
00:18:35 Why would I want to do that?
00:18:37 Feelings are distractions that can lead to pain,
00:18:39 and that's bad for business.
00:18:41 But if you learn how to cut them off, you can be rich.
00:18:46 I don't want any of that.
00:18:48 I just want to save my mama from my dad.
00:18:50 If you ask me, she getting what she deserves.
00:18:54 Take it back.
00:18:55 Take it back.
00:18:56 Take it back.
00:18:56 We have a bright future together.
00:19:01 Nice.
00:19:04 Must ruin life.
00:19:07 [SCREAMING]
00:19:08 You know good to be in jail, Darius.
00:19:12 I'm thinking about buying property down here.
00:19:13 Don't you talk about my mama.
00:19:15 [SCREAMING]
00:19:16 [SIREN]
00:19:18 Police!
00:19:19 Freeze!
00:19:20 You think I'm scared?
00:19:22 Shit.
00:19:23 Freeze!
00:19:24 Get him!
00:19:24 Let's go!
00:19:25 Hands on your head.
00:19:26 Let me see your hands.
00:19:27 Brandon's got your back, baby.
00:19:28 Now!
00:19:29 No, that ain't it.
00:19:30 God damn it.
00:19:31 Photos?
00:19:32 Jamel!
00:19:32 Come in and help me find the damn camera on this thing.
00:19:35 Jamel!
00:19:36 Carlo!
00:19:37 Tell Jamel to come help me find the camera on this damn thing.
00:19:40 [SCREAMING]
00:19:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:19:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:19:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:19:49 Get off that phone!
00:19:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:19:53 Y'all ain't gotta do 'em like that.
00:19:55 What's your badge number?
00:19:56 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:19:59 Black lives matter!
00:20:00 Black lives matter!
00:20:01 Black lives matter!
00:20:02 Black lives matter!
00:20:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:20:05 Today was the best day ever!
00:20:07 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!
00:20:10 I'm glad I could make you happy.
00:20:13 Woo-hoo!
00:20:14 Yeah!
00:20:15 Vegas, baby!
00:20:17 Woo-hoo!
00:20:19 Hey, Montez, what's Vegas?
00:20:21 A place where you can do anything you want and get away
00:20:24 with it, unless you're OJ Simpson.
00:20:26 Who's that?
00:20:27 He's a great friend of mine.
00:20:28 Hey, Montez.
00:20:29 Call me Money.
00:20:30 All my friends call me Money.
00:20:32 Why?
00:20:33 Because I'm racked up like a motherfucker.
00:20:35 That is so dumb.
00:20:36 Well, what do your friends call you?
00:20:39 Um, I hate nicknames.
00:20:42 I'll just call you Montez.
00:20:44 All right, fine with me.
00:20:46 Unless you think we're friends.
00:20:49 Then, you know.
00:20:52 I think we're friends.
00:20:54 Really?
00:20:55 Sure.
00:20:56 We're wearing friendship bracelets and got matching neck tattoos.
00:20:59 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:21:02 Wow, I've never had a friend before.
00:21:04 Everyone says I'm a negative Nancy.
00:21:07 Nobody likes me, not even my parents.
00:21:10 They left me at the orphanage.
00:21:12 You know, I've never told anyone this, but when I was younger--
00:21:19 Come here, bitch.
00:21:26 Clean this shit up.
00:21:28 Montez, please.
00:21:30 You think I'm my father?
00:21:39 Get out!
00:21:40 That is how it all went down.
00:21:57 Hello!
00:21:58 You didn't say crap.
00:21:59 You just zoned out.
00:22:00 I've been staring at this car for like 30 seconds.
00:22:02 [GROANS]
00:22:03 My bad.
00:22:08 Get out.
00:22:09 So, since we're friends, what's my nickname?
00:22:12 Um, it's Happy.
00:22:13 Your nickname's Happy.
00:22:15 You're money, I'm happy, we're friends.
00:22:17 I like that.
00:22:18 Now, when we get back to Big Bruh, make sure you tell Louie.
00:22:22 Oh, no, the cops.
00:22:25 Where did they meet--
00:22:27 Go, go!
00:22:28 I'm not trying to end up on a t-shirt.
00:22:30 Man, why do cops get such a bad rep?
00:22:32 All they do when they pull you over is ask you for a selfie.
00:22:35 Yeah, good luck with that.
00:22:37 Lord, Father, God, don't be Southern, don't be Southern, don't be Southern.
00:22:40 Get out of that fancy car, you black motherfu--
00:22:50 [LAUGHS]
00:22:54 I'll be damned.
00:22:55 Money Montez.
00:22:56 Officer Ray, what's up?
00:22:58 How's it hanging?
00:22:59 Well, for a second there, I thought you were a rapper.
00:23:01 What you doing around here?
00:23:03 Don't you know we over-police this area?
00:23:04 As you should.
00:23:06 People of color live here.
00:23:08 They probably sell cocaine.
00:23:10 [LAUGHS]
00:23:14 And who might you be, little lady?
00:23:16 I don't talk to cops.
00:23:18 I thought you don't talk to cops.
00:23:20 Thought you had a body cam.
00:23:22 I could kill you and get away scot-free.
00:23:26 You see what I did there?
00:23:29 You should see your face.
00:23:30 Oh, it's scaring me.
00:23:33 You got her good.
00:23:34 Officer Ray's cool.
00:23:35 It's just from a different time.
00:23:37 Anyhoo, I got tax dollars to waste and minorities to harass for no reason.
00:23:42 Oh, I almost forgot my selfie.
00:23:45 Be safe, my colored hero.
00:23:49 You too, you gentle, brave officer of the law.
00:23:52 What the hell was that?
00:23:53 What?
00:23:54 You over here shucking and jiving for the cops.
00:23:55 You can't be black and like police.
00:23:57 That's like being black and licking mayonnaise.
00:23:59 First of all, I'm not black.
00:24:01 I'm Money Montez.
00:24:03 You're wrong.
00:24:04 You're black.
00:24:05 And you're an embarrassment to the black community.
00:24:08 Hey, what'd I do?
00:24:10 I don't care how happy he made me.
00:24:15 I can't be friends with a guy like that.
00:24:17 You know that's right.
00:24:19 I can still use his platform to make the world a better place.
00:24:23 Right.
00:24:24 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
00:24:27 Okay, now you're getting too preachy.
00:24:29 Relax.
00:24:32 Happy, please.
00:24:33 Don't happy me.
00:24:34 I ain't happy.
00:24:35 Give me one more day and we'll do anything you want.
00:24:37 Anything.
00:24:39 Anything.
00:24:40 Anything.
00:24:41 Tomorrow, you and I, we going in police brutality for good.
00:24:46 Police brutality?
00:24:49 Oh my God.
00:24:50 Now you're just making up shit.
00:24:51 Okay, yeah, sure.
00:24:54 Black lives matter.
00:25:05 How you gonna keep still if you keep tasing them?
00:25:08 I will jump in, but somebody got the other camera.
00:25:11 Hey, Granny, why all those people outside?
00:25:15 And how'd I get all these bruises?
00:25:17 Who you, the police?
00:25:19 Sunday's rest day, child.
00:25:21 Copper squats.
00:25:22 Welcome back to A Shot at Love with Billy Jitterson.
00:25:26 What love love?
00:25:27 My name's Billy Jitterson.
00:25:29 A lot of people know me as the BLM protest shooter.
00:25:32 But really, I'm just a kid looking for love.
00:25:35 And I'll sue your ass if you make fun of me.
00:25:38 [music]
00:25:49 Whoa!
00:25:50 What?
00:25:51 Uh...
00:25:52 I'm impressed.
00:25:54 No one's ever made it to day two with Nikki.
00:25:56 Not even her parents.
00:25:58 Burn.
00:25:59 She told me what happened yesterday, and she showed me this.
00:26:02 Congratulations.
00:26:04 Oh my God, I won!
00:26:05 I did it!
00:26:06 I'm Big Brother Mop.
00:26:08 Now I can get my rematch with the body stretcher and cement my place in boxing history.
00:26:13 That's the invite for tonight's ceremony.
00:26:15 What?
00:26:17 Not the actual award?
00:26:20 [groans]
00:26:22 [roaring]
00:26:25 I have a hard time believing every cop is bad.
00:26:29 That's because you can't hit in the head for a living.
00:26:31 But cops put it all on the line to keep us safe.
00:26:33 I mean, who am I supposed to call the next time I need to witness silence?
00:26:37 Or DUI cover, though.
00:26:38 Boy, shut up and give me your phone.
00:26:40 I want you to post a video condemning that racist cop who tried to kill us yesterday.
00:26:46 Montez Shuffelt, tell the people what happened to us off of MLK in Maine last night.
00:26:51 My spouses hate when I get political.
00:26:57 You think a company that sells ball trimmers kids would you put online?
00:27:00 It's their motto.
00:27:01 The Nutwhacker is the biggest supporter of police departments across America.
00:27:05 And because of them, I have more blind followers than Jesus Christ.
00:27:09 I love me some Jesus Christ.
00:27:11 But I want you to be more like...
00:27:14 the Woke Panthers.
00:27:16 Legend has it, Woke Panther was fired from his job where he made millions of dollars.
00:27:22 All because he wanted to bring awareness to the injustices in our country.
00:27:27 Today, he's a fearless hero who's not afraid to fight for what's right.
00:27:31 And he always, always...
00:27:33 uses the correct pronouns.
00:27:37 Man, what's Woke Panther got that I ain't got?
00:27:41 Humility, empathy, integrity.
00:27:44 I don't know who Woke Panther is, but I know he's a good person.
00:27:48 Ben ain't no world champion.
00:27:50 Are you?
00:27:51 You know, the weight box and the way my arm...
00:27:53 [stammering]
00:27:55 That's right, punk.
00:27:57 I looked you up.
00:27:59 Now all your business, the gross allegations, your tainted legacy,
00:28:04 your beef with a body stretcher...
00:28:06 which is crazy, by the way, because I do stay flexin'.
00:28:09 I know, right?
00:28:10 The body stretcher is too righteous.
00:28:12 Here comes Woke C.
00:28:13 Woke?
00:28:14 Woke Woke Panther.
00:28:15 Here's the real deal.
00:28:16 Black lives matter.
00:28:20 All lives matter.
00:28:22 Black lives matter.
00:28:23 All lives matter.
00:28:25 I don't get it. They're saying the same thing.
00:28:27 No, the people in the black shirts hate police brutality.
00:28:31 And the people with the red hats love police brutality.
00:28:34 All lives matter.
00:28:36 It's time you use your clout for something good.
00:28:38 When your followers see you're fighting for social injustice,
00:28:41 they'll be inspired to do the same.
00:28:43 Black lives matter.
00:28:45 All lives matter.
00:28:46 Blood and gravel!
00:28:49 [screaming]
00:28:52 [sneezes]
00:28:53 Nope.
00:28:55 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:28:57 Hey, my sponsors watch my every move.
00:29:00 I could lose a lot of money if they catch me not supporting cops.
00:29:03 If you want to be a true champ, you're going to have to make a sacrifice.
00:29:06 Sacrifice? I don't even know where to start.
00:29:09 Usually my trainer shows me how to do things first.
00:29:11 Ugh, fine.
00:29:13 But just this once.
00:29:14 People on both sides!
00:29:17 This is Marissa.
00:29:19 She's an advocate for human rights and represents everything I want to be.
00:29:24 She's smart, driven, honest, brave, and super hot.
00:29:29 Please accept my priceless doll as a token of peace and don't stand in our way.
00:29:33 But join us on our march for equality!
00:29:37 It's not that black lives don't matter.
00:29:43 But when you say it out loud, it makes our lives feel left out.
00:29:47 Which, in turn I guess, makes us feel inferior.
00:29:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:53 Right? That's what it's all about, man!
00:29:55 It doesn't feel good to be treated like you're inferior.
00:29:59 Stop making it about y'all. It's about us.
00:30:02 Marissa!
00:30:10 I'm in pain!
00:30:14 Hey, you want this for me?
00:30:16 [laughing]
00:30:19 Oh, you think she's sweet? Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
00:30:23 Marissa!
00:30:28 Enjoy China!
00:30:30 [laughing]
00:30:32 Hey, are you okay?
00:30:33 No one's ever stood up for me before. Thanks, buddy.
00:30:36 Aw, you're welcome, happy.
00:30:37 What do you say we get out of here and go back over to Princess Plaza?
00:30:40 I've been meaning to call Princess Chocolate anyway.
00:30:42 Low-key, she kind of thick.
00:30:44 Heck no!
00:30:45 Marissa made the ultimate sacrifice.
00:30:47 She gave her life for the cause.
00:30:50 Aw, man. Sweet Marissa.
00:30:59 Now you gotta do the same.
00:31:01 Wait, what?
00:31:03 Oh no, look alive. Karen's. Twelve o'clock.
00:31:06 Call for help!
00:31:07 911, what's your emergency?
00:31:09 Could you help me?
00:31:10 Help me, please.
00:31:11 Could you help me, please?
00:31:12 62 has been dispatched.
00:31:15 Unit, en route.
00:31:18 Lock and load, boys.
00:31:19 But isn't this a bit excessive? They're peaceful protesters.
00:31:22 It's their First Amendment right to be here.
00:31:24 We're using rubber bullets, Jeff.
00:31:26 God damn it, this isn't right.
00:31:28 I'm reporting you all to Internal Affairs.
00:31:31 Siri, call Internal Affairs.
00:31:35 No, stop!
00:31:37 Good cops die young.
00:31:42 Take cover!
00:31:43 Guys, it's cool. These are my friends.
00:31:46 Don't they know I'm me?
00:31:50 The cops didn't recognize you from so far away.
00:31:53 All they saw was the color of your--
00:31:54 My shirt.
00:31:55 Duh.
00:31:56 Usually when I'm on TV, I'm not even wearing one.
00:31:59 Guys, it's me, your hero!
00:32:06 (gunfire)
00:32:08 You see this? This is what I'm talking about.
00:32:32 I've had such a great time with you ladies,
00:32:35 but one of you has to go.
00:32:38 This just in.
00:32:39 Illegitimate champion Money Montez Sheffield
00:32:42 is in a standoff with police
00:32:44 at the protest for 10-year-old Darius,
00:32:46 the unarmed black boy who was assaulted by five cops last night.
00:32:49 Stick and move, Darius! Just stick and move!
00:32:52 Oh, my goodness, not the batons!
00:32:55 I need to see all your badge notes!
00:32:57 Jamal! Jamal! Carlos!
00:33:00 Tell Jamal to come get me all their badge numbers.
00:33:03 Thank the Lord I know Jesse Jackson.
00:33:06 Now before you start tripping,
00:33:08 I just did what anybody in my position would do.
00:33:11 I recorded the cops beating your ass,
00:33:14 and then I put it online.
00:33:15 Look at all the support you're getting.
00:33:18 All these people came out for me?
00:33:21 Ooh, I hope we get some justice!
00:33:24 Oh, we getting justice out the ass.
00:33:26 Follow me.
00:33:27 Black lives matter! Black lives matter!
00:33:31 Thanks to social media,
00:33:32 some people just come to protest for their experience.
00:33:35 So I figured I'd provide one and charge 400 bucks a head.
00:33:39 First, I hired some influencers,
00:33:41 since nobody thinks for themselves.
00:33:44 Justice for Darius!
00:33:45 Set up some photo booths.
00:33:47 OMGGG, literally fighting the power.
00:33:51 Got some merch over there.
00:33:52 Sheriff, have NFT.
00:33:55 There's even a ride.
00:33:57 What?!
00:33:58 Rick is Revenge can hit 0-60 people in under 4 seconds.
00:34:03 Let me go. He's coming back to me.
00:34:05 You make money off the bad stuff that happens to people.
00:34:09 No, baby. Don't you see?
00:34:11 I turn lemons into lemonade.
00:34:13 That's wrong!
00:34:14 I am an old, black lesbian in America.
00:34:17 I've been wronged my whole life.
00:34:19 Shit. Wrong is all I know.
00:34:22 This ain't wrong.
00:34:23 This is business.
00:34:26 Hope I never see you again.
00:34:28 Mmm, mmm, mmm.
00:34:31 No respect for his elders.
00:34:33 Can't we all just get along?
00:34:48 I can't watch this.
00:34:51 NOOOOOOO!
00:34:54 You're gonna die here, Montez.
00:34:56 It'll all be over soon!
00:34:59 Funny Montez, what are you doing here?
00:35:01 Your Nutcracker ads say you support cops.
00:35:04 I do, I do.
00:35:06 [snorts]
00:35:08 NOT support cops.
00:35:10 I'm going to eat you now.
00:35:12 Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
00:35:14 I'll see someone else. I can't die.
00:35:17 NOOOOOOO!
00:35:21 [explosion]
00:35:24 [screaming]
00:35:27 Damn, I did do it.
00:35:29 [cheering]
00:35:34 All people have to fight for what's right to be treated like human beings.
00:35:38 Channel your feelings of oppression, aggression, frustration, anger, and use it.
00:35:47 No justice, no peace!
00:35:49 Thank you. God was with him.
00:35:52 Shh, he's so extra.
00:35:54 Well, if it ain't Nicky the Negative Nancy.
00:35:58 Hey, Allen. How's the air in there?
00:36:01 Better than the air out there.
00:36:03 Whatever, boy. We know you ain't sick.
00:36:05 You just wear that thing for attention.
00:36:08 Hey!
00:36:09 Oh.
00:36:16 [coughs]
00:36:18 Your next activist coming to the stage right now is new to this arena,
00:36:21 and I am intrigued on what this young brother has to say.
00:36:26 Make some noise right now for Mr. Montez Sheffield!
00:36:32 I'm nervous. What if I say the wrong thing?
00:36:35 Listen, Montez. If your heart's really been in it the whole time, you'll know what to say.
00:36:40 Oh, boy.
00:36:42 My man, Money Montez.
00:36:45 Here's your chance to fight for what's right, playboy.
00:36:48 But the multimillion-dollar question is, are you willing to make the sacrifice?
00:36:54 Man, I'm thirsty.
00:36:57 All right, um, yeah, yeah.
00:36:59 Everybody keep it going for the body stretcher.
00:37:04 Police brutality is not cool.
00:37:09 It is not cool at all.
00:37:15 And, um, um, yeah, um.
00:37:19 What are you doing, man? Cops like us.
00:37:24 You really gonna fuck up your money for these strangers?
00:37:27 Remember what Granny said, "Feelings don't pay the bills."
00:37:30 Ah!
00:37:32 And, um, I'm here to tell you that police brutality is totally 100 percent...
00:37:37 He's gonna do it.
00:37:39 Um, police brutality...
00:37:43 is totally...
00:37:45 You really gonna fuck up the bag?
00:37:47 Oh, boy.
00:37:50 All you gotta do is be somebody they feel safe around.
00:37:54 Cops are people, too.
00:37:56 Just keep your hands where they can see 'em.
00:37:58 And say things like, "Yes, sir."
00:38:01 "No, sir."
00:38:02 And if you're really feeling yourself, tell 'em a joke.
00:38:05 "Knock, knock."
00:38:06 "Who's there?"
00:38:07 "Not the police, 'cause they like me."
00:38:10 "Not the police, 'cause they like me."
00:38:12 Screw that guy!
00:38:17 What the heck?
00:38:24 I'm sorry. I did the best I could.
00:38:26 I can't fuck up the bag.
00:38:29 And I'm supposed to believe that you are a good person.
00:38:34 Ha! Ha!
00:38:36 Hey, Earl, get the car ready.
00:38:38 Man, fuck this shit!
00:38:40 Hell, yeah!
00:38:56 This is what I'm talking about.
00:38:57 You crazy white folks know how to have some fun.
00:38:59 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
00:39:01 Montez!
00:39:02 This dog is everything we've been fighting for!
00:39:06 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
00:39:08 Marissa!
00:39:11 Hi-ya!
00:39:13 You get a gun! You get a gun!
00:39:17 You get a gun!
00:39:19 Nobody else cares! Why should I?
00:39:29 What the?
00:39:35 Aw, crap! He's back!
00:39:37 Oh, you want to go? What about the moon?
00:39:53 Retreat! Let's get out of here!
00:39:58 Montez!
00:39:59 Ugh!
00:40:00 Oh, Panther! My king!
00:40:07 Oh, my God! You're Carlin Staples?
00:40:14 That's the Maritzio quarterback who took a pizzeria international ass-up!
00:40:18 In the flesh!
00:40:21 So, Carlin, you mean to tell me the whole time you haven't been playing football,
00:40:25 you've been going to protests to fight Antifa?
00:40:28 That wasn't Antifa. They were proud boys dressed as Antifa.
00:40:32 How do you know?
00:40:33 The left are the good guys. Duh!
00:40:35 You're so woke.
00:40:36 He ain't woke! I'm way woker than Carlin Staples sat!
00:40:40 What's woke?
00:40:41 Sorry, champ. Didn't mean to knock you out. I was in the zone, baby.
00:40:45 You didn't knock me out! The impact of my skull hitting the floor did, and I woke up almost immediately.
00:40:50 Thanks, man!
00:40:51 Do you guys know each other?
00:40:53 Yeah, we met five years ago at an Illuminati Christmas party.
00:40:56 Montez got so wasted he traded his soul for a Stella.
00:40:59 This idiot forgot it was open bar.
00:41:01 Hey! Don't call my friend an idiot!
00:41:04 More like a stupid head.
00:41:06 Am not!
00:41:08 No, I'm ain't!
00:41:10 Ooh, I'm lovin' the woke Panther digs.
00:41:13 Ah, yeah. My sponsors made it for me after I took a piss during the pledge.
00:41:17 You mean the national anthem.
00:41:19 Whatever. I don't care about America. It's my brand.
00:41:22 You're so woke.
00:41:24 Uh-uh. Seriously, what's woke?
00:41:26 If you think that's woke, get a load of this. I'm about to end police brutality.
00:41:31 Good!
00:41:32 Black screen!
00:41:33 Later today at the Redskins game, I'm gonna take a pee during the national anthem.
00:41:40 Imagine, Carlin Staples sat after years of being blackballed returns to take one more pee.
00:41:47 The image of my resilience alone would knock the hatred out of every racist cop in the nation.
00:41:53 [Peeing]
00:41:54 [Peeing]
00:41:59 We're sorry!
00:42:03 Wait a minute. You took a pee before. Why would this time be any different?
00:42:09 This time I'm going to use my white side.
00:42:12 Yes! If you use your white side, our struggle will be validated!
00:42:18 Bingo!
00:42:20 [Explosion]
00:42:21 Let's head back to Princess Plow. Princess Chocolate just hit me back.
00:42:27 This scaly bitch is a freak.
00:42:29 [Sigh]
00:42:30 Can I come? I want to watch you make history!
00:42:35 What?
00:42:36 Sure. It makes you happy.
00:42:37 It will!
00:42:38 Nah, you can't do this. It's my job to make you happy.
00:42:41 Sorry, Chuck. I found someone better.
00:42:45 Bye!
00:42:47 Damn! She really abandoned me!
00:42:51 Get it together, Miley. Feelings don't pay the bills.
00:42:55 I must outvote Carlin Staples at it.
00:42:59 Whatever that mean.
00:43:01 [Phone ringing]
00:43:03 What's up, babe?
00:43:08 Shit. Nothing. Thinking of you.
00:43:12 Thinking of you?
00:43:13 Money coming through. Money, money, money is on the line.
00:43:20 Excuse me, party's inside. Money. You see money, baby. Move.
00:43:24 One ticket, please.
00:43:26 Sorry. The game's sold out.
00:43:27 Hey, I'm famous.
00:43:28 Get out of here! Get out of here!
00:43:30 There's got to be something you can do for me.
00:43:31 I can check Will Cole.
00:43:32 Oh, looks like the body stretcher hasn't claimed his seat.
00:43:36 That's more like it. Now we talking.
00:43:38 And it's on the field.
00:43:40 And that's exactly where I need to be.
00:43:42 But it's in the true champ section.
00:43:44 Ugh. Unfortunately, you must be a true champ to sit there.
00:43:48 There ain't any seats left. I'm too famous to sneak in.
00:43:56 Unless I had a costume.
00:43:59 Oh, I know how to get those clothes on.
00:44:06 I'm from an album with civil rights legend Carlyn Staplesack.
00:44:10 Watch for my gay guy.
00:44:12 Ah, there she is. The tunnel of glory.
00:44:16 I bet. You ready?
00:44:18 Little girl, I was born ready.
00:44:21 Carlyn, your suit.
00:44:24 Eh, I don't need it.
00:44:25 We're in a football stadium. There's wanted posters of you all over the place.
00:44:29 Nah.
00:44:33 Maybe you should keep the suit on until you get to midfield.
00:44:36 If the cops see you when you walk out, they'll catch you before you can take a pee during the anthem.
00:44:40 You think they can catch me?
00:44:42 Yeah, there's like ten cops out there.
00:44:44 So you think I'm out of shape?
00:44:45 You must have not heard about my workout with the Birmingham Batons.
00:44:48 Phew.
00:44:49 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You still wanna play football?
00:44:52 Uh, duh.
00:44:53 But legend has it that you sacrificed your career for the movement.
00:44:57 Legend has it that's some bullshit.
00:45:00 I never said that. Now move it.
00:45:02 Yeah-huh.
00:45:03 You sacrificed playing football to bring attention to police brutality.
00:45:06 And then they kicked you out of the league.
00:45:07 And then you became a full-time accent.
00:45:08 You even called plural football modern-day slavery.
00:45:11 And now you're telling me you wanna go back to slavery?
00:45:14 Enough!
00:45:15 The activism is cool. I'm always down for the cause.
00:45:18 But the truth is, I'm tired of being woke.
00:45:21 [Gasps]
00:45:22 Yes, taking a pee during the national anthem got me millions in corporate sponsorships.
00:45:27 But it also got me a million death threats a day.
00:45:30 And the people who don't hate me expect me to be some kind of race-baiting superhero.
00:45:34 But if I could end police brutality for good, then maybe, just maybe, I could play football again.
00:45:41 [Sighs]
00:45:43 I don't know, Kiki Palmer.
00:45:45 I just miss the days when people only knew me as a quarterback.
00:45:48 Ugh!
00:45:50 Men.
00:45:54 Here we go, Redskins! Here we go!
00:45:57 Here we go, Redskins! Here we go!
00:46:00 Here we go, Redskins! Here we go!
00:46:03 Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light?
00:46:11 Your eyes will not deceive you, 'cause I'm Carlin Stapleson.
00:46:16 And I am here to take the pee justice.
00:46:19 [Crowd noise]
00:46:24 [Grunts]
00:46:26 You...
00:46:27 You...
00:46:29 Know who I am?
00:46:32 [Grunts]
00:46:35 [Grunts]
00:46:36 What the?
00:46:37 You know who my father is?
00:46:42 [Grunts]
00:46:45 Oh, no! I'm too late!
00:46:48 [Crowd noise]
00:46:50 He's gonna use his white fright to end police brutality for good.
00:46:54 All he has to do is take a pee!
00:46:56 [Grunts]
00:46:58 [Crowd noise]
00:47:04 Oh, my God.
00:47:05 [Grunts]
00:47:06 [Grunts]
00:47:09 No justice. No peace.
00:47:13 [Crash]
00:47:17 [Crowd noise]
00:47:18 Oh!
00:47:19 Oh, that's all right. Just a second in all.
00:47:22 [Grunts]
00:47:24 [Grunts]
00:47:26 [Gunshot]
00:47:30 Oh, man.
00:47:32 [Singing]
00:47:34 Carlin! Run!
00:47:37 [Gunshot]
00:47:39 Sayonara, sucker sack!
00:47:41 [Gunshot]
00:47:44 [Crowd noise]
00:47:48 Woo-hoo!
00:47:55 Phew!
00:47:56 You're right, little girl. I should listen to you.
00:47:59 What do you say we--
00:48:00 Sorry, chump. I found someone better.
00:48:02 [Coughs]
00:48:03 Nice work out there, Carlin.
00:48:05 I can't quite put my finger on it,
00:48:07 but I can tell you're ready to be part of this league again.
00:48:10 The sack attack is back, baby!
00:48:13 [Giggles]
00:48:15 Money!
00:48:16 You did it!
00:48:17 [Grunts]
00:48:18 Nah, you're a bad friend, Nikki.
00:48:19 You abandoned me as soon as something better came along.
00:48:22 Oh, me?
00:48:23 Yeah, you.
00:48:25 No.
00:48:26 For Carlin.
00:48:27 I didn't abandon you. I inspired you.
00:48:30 Nah, nah.
00:48:31 I knew your toxic masculinity would trigger enough jealousy to lead you here to save the day.
00:48:36 My boy and my girl would have never did me like that.
00:48:40 Hey! I didn't mean to be a bad friend.
00:48:43 I'm just new at this, okay?
00:48:45 I'm sorry.
00:48:46 You're the first person I've ever been able to count on,
00:48:49 and I don't want to lose you.
00:48:52 What's happening?
00:48:54 For some strange reason, I feel good about myself.
00:48:58 [Giggles]
00:48:59 Well, who knows?
00:49:01 Maybe there actually is some good inside of you.
00:49:05 That's you, boy?
00:49:06 Yes, sir.
00:49:07 Come here and watch the game with your old man.
00:49:10 Cheryl! The bill!
00:49:12 Coming!
00:49:14 Non-alcoholic!
00:49:15 Did you think I got a problem?
00:49:17 My class! Please!
00:49:19 You think I'm my father?
00:49:21 There's still a supply chain shortage, baby.
00:49:24 This is all they had at the store.
00:49:26 Come here, bitch.
00:49:28 [Growling]
00:49:30 [Gunshot]
00:49:32 [Sighs]
00:49:33 You ruined my life.
00:49:36 Mama, I saved you!
00:49:38 He's not gonna hurt you no more!
00:49:40 [Grunts]
00:49:42 [Grunts]
00:49:44 Mama, he hurts you.
00:49:47 He loves me.
00:49:49 Mama!
00:49:51 You here to rub it in?
00:50:03 You were right, okay?
00:50:04 My mama got what she deserved.
00:50:06 And so did I.
00:50:08 Come on.
00:50:09 I'm not going with you!
00:50:10 You crazy lady!
00:50:12 You're a psycho!
00:50:14 No, I'm just your granny.
00:50:16 Where did you get this?
00:50:18 Motherfucker.
00:50:21 Yeah, I hate your daddy, too.
00:50:23 Now come on, child.
00:50:24 My knees is bad.
00:50:26 [Grunts]
00:50:31 [Footsteps]
00:50:33 Damn.
00:50:44 Now I know why they call it the Nut Whack.
00:50:47 It was worth the sacrifice.
00:50:48 I mean, we didn't end police brutality for good,
00:50:50 but you punched a cop during a national anthem,
00:50:53 and that's got to count for something.
00:50:55 I guess I'm like Rocky.
00:50:56 I ain't win, but I went the distance.
00:50:59 There were cameras everywhere.
00:51:01 The whole world saw you stand up to injustice.
00:51:05 I'm positive you've inspired many more to do the same.
00:51:09 [Grunts]
00:51:11 Money Montez did it.
00:51:12 I wish he could do it, but I can't.
00:51:15 So this means you're happy?
00:51:17 Yep, I'm happy.
00:51:19 You're money, and we're friends.
00:51:26 Montez, a word?
00:51:29 Judging by your age and skin color, sir,
00:51:32 my endorsement senses are tingling.
00:51:35 Son, what you just did out there was incredible.
00:51:38 By punching a cop during the national anthem,
00:51:41 you just cemented yourself as the wokest athlete in America.
00:51:45 Even woker than Carl in Staples' sack?
00:51:48 Much, much woker, son.
00:51:50 And that's exactly what we're looking for at my company.
00:51:53 We want you to be the new face
00:51:56 of our Black Lives Matter movement.
00:51:59 Ooh! Decisions, decisions.
00:52:03 Montez, don't!
00:52:04 If you become the face of this company,
00:52:06 they'll control every move you make
00:52:08 just like the nutwacker did.
00:52:10 Do you really want to sell our people
00:52:12 short for millions of dollars again?
00:52:16 [Honking]
00:52:18 [Grunts]
00:52:20 No, thank you, rich white man.
00:52:22 You have somewhere more important to be.
00:52:25 And without further ado...
00:52:31 Gosh, these things always get stuck.
00:52:36 And the award...
00:52:49 for Big Bruh of the Month...
00:52:52 goes to...
00:52:55 Money Montez Sheffield!
00:52:59 [Honking]
00:53:01 I won! I won! I won!
00:53:05 Go! Go!
00:53:06 This is so bullshit.
00:53:08 It's cool, Allen. Let him have this moment.
00:53:10 It's a lot heavier than it looks.
00:53:14 Wow. Okay.
00:53:16 This is really happening.
00:53:18 Get it together, money.
00:53:20 Whoo! First of all, I'd like to thank my team
00:53:23 who couldn't be here tonight.
00:53:25 The body stretcher for giving me that push
00:53:27 to do and be better.
00:53:29 I see you, big fella.
00:53:31 Louie for putting all this together.
00:53:33 You look beautiful tonight.
00:53:35 And last but not least...
00:53:38 Nikki.
00:53:39 Without your patience and guidance,
00:53:41 none of this would have been possible.
00:53:43 So thank you. Thank you all.
00:53:46 [Applause]
00:53:48 Good night.
00:53:50 Oh! I'm so proud of you.
00:53:53 [Fart]
00:53:54 What the?
00:53:56 Can't run, now.
00:53:57 Run from what?
00:53:58 My rematch. You owe me.
00:54:00 I'm with the kid right now.
00:54:01 We'll talk later, playboy.
00:54:02 I want to talk now.
00:54:04 You said you'd give me a rematch
00:54:06 if I could prove to you that I'm a good person.
00:54:08 Weed it and weep.
00:54:10 Seriously? You expect me to believe you're a good person?
00:54:13 Tell me, man. What's going on in your head
00:54:15 that makes you think winning this dumb trophy
00:54:17 translates to you being a good person?
00:54:19 I told you once already.
00:54:21 It's what you do when the world isn't watching.
00:54:23 That's what counts.
00:54:24 Nah, fuck that. I want my rematch.
00:54:26 Jacksonburg Square Garden, next Saturday.
00:54:30 Nah.
00:54:32 Fight me, bitch!
00:54:34 Montez, he's in love.
00:54:37 I'm alone.
00:54:38 [Music]
00:54:44 Gentlemen, let's not ruin the evening.
00:54:47 Have a good night, Louie.
00:54:48 Hey, Earl, get the damn door.
00:54:50 Woo, my back gonna be hurting after laughing at this boy.
00:54:53 Hell no, I ain't letting shit slide.
00:54:56 So I'm thinking tomorrow, let's go shoot some hoops
00:54:59 and get out of this jam for a while.
00:55:01 Hey, I ain't done talking with you.
00:55:03 Hey, Montez, you're a piece of garbage, you know that?
00:55:06 You're just mad he's the true champ.
00:55:08 The true champ.
00:55:09 The true champ.
00:55:12 Just ruin life.
00:55:15 Hurry!
00:55:19 Yo, chill, stop, stop.
00:55:20 Listen, listen.
00:55:21 I made this whole thing up.
00:55:24 What?
00:55:25 I made this whole thing up.
00:55:29 What?
00:55:30 You're a better boxer than me.
00:55:32 Damn it.
00:55:33 Are you happy?
00:55:34 I only condemned you because I knew, I knew I couldn't beat you.
00:55:40 I never lost before and I was afraid.
00:55:43 I was afraid to lose in front of the whole world.
00:55:46 So wait, this whole time, you were actually afraid to make a sacrifice?
00:55:52 Yeah, I was afraid to make a sacrifice.
00:55:56 I didn't think you were bad enough to prove you were a good person,
00:55:58 but it looked like I was wrong.
00:56:01 I knew it.
00:56:04 God, you're such a bitch.
00:56:06 I was afraid to lose.
00:56:08 He flinched.
00:56:09 Look at him.
00:56:10 He flinched.
00:56:11 Fucking pussy.
00:56:13 You hear that, Happy?
00:56:14 The body stretcher was afraid to fight me the whole time.
00:56:17 You're a monster.
00:56:19 Wrong.
00:56:20 I'm the true champ.
00:56:21 And the new heavyweight champion of the world,
00:56:26 Money Montez Sheffield.
00:56:31 [laughing]
00:56:36 [music]
00:56:41 [music]
00:56:46 [music]
00:56:51 [music]
00:56:56 [music]
00:57:01 [music]
00:57:06 [music]
00:57:11 [music]
00:57:16 [music]
00:57:21 [music]
00:57:26 [music]
00:57:31 Oh, the movie was better.
00:57:36 Woo-hoo.
00:57:42 Oh.
00:57:45 [laughing]
00:57:47 [bell ringing]
00:57:48 [music]
00:57:58 Good win, bro.
00:57:59 You're the greatest of all time.
00:58:01 You know, I never told you this before,
00:58:03 but you're like a father figure to me.
00:58:05 And, um, if something bad were to ever happen to you,
00:58:08 I would gladly inherit everything that you own.
00:58:10 Bro, I don't even know your name.
00:58:12 What is your name?
00:58:13 It's me, your boy.
00:58:15 [music]
00:58:18 You're my boy?
00:58:19 Since day one.
00:58:25 You know what?
00:58:26 All y'all gotta go.
00:58:27 Yeah, everyone form a single file line
00:58:29 and exit in an orderly fashion.
00:58:31 Money needs some space.
00:58:35 Now that they're gone, we can have some fun.
00:58:40 Boy, you just made 20 million in 30 minutes.
00:58:44 What the hell is wrong with you?
00:58:46 Nothing feels good anymore, Granny.
00:58:48 Shit ain't me.
00:58:49 What's the point of being a true champ
00:58:51 if the world don't know it?
00:58:52 Well, are you sure there were no Dobell cameras
00:58:54 that caught him saying he was scared to fight you?
00:58:56 None.
00:58:57 And you ain't hear nobody yell, "A world star!"
00:59:00 Nikki was the only other person there,
00:59:02 but she hates my guts.
00:59:03 I already asked.
00:59:05 She won't help me.
00:59:06 Hmm, who is Nikki?
00:59:08 Doesn't matter.
00:59:09 I think I'm done now.
00:59:11 I want to quit boxing.
00:59:14 Child, what you've got is special.
00:59:17 A God-given talent.
00:59:19 There's no way in hell I would ever let you quit.
00:59:22 I ain't 'bout to let you fuck up our money.
00:59:25 You're right, Granny.
00:59:27 Feelings don't pay no bills.
00:59:28 Never have, and never will.
00:59:31 Yo, Montez, I know that we're new brothers and all,
00:59:34 but can I say something?
00:59:35 Of course, little man.
00:59:36 Granny is a sad old lady who's afraid to show love.
00:59:40 She's the reason Mom was sad and mad all the time, not us.
00:59:44 Don't let Granny get in your head,
00:59:46 or else you're gonna end up just like--
00:59:48 Santa Claus ain't real.
00:59:49 You son of a bitch!
00:59:51 [dog barking]
00:59:53 Now tell me this.
00:59:54 Who took you in when you ain't have shit?
00:59:57 You did.
00:59:58 And who's always got your back, no matter what?
01:00:01 You.
01:00:02 I ain't afraid to show love.
01:00:04 I just show it in a different way.
01:00:05 You heard me?
01:00:06 Yes, Granny.
01:00:07 All right.
01:00:09 Now here's what we gonna do.
01:00:13 If you propose, I swear to God I'm calling the cops,
01:00:17 even though I don't talk to cops.
01:00:19 This is for you.
01:00:22 [gasps]
01:00:23 It's your original Marissa doll.
01:00:25 I paid a young boy in China very little money to fix it for.
01:00:28 And what?
01:00:29 I'm supposed to trust you again?
01:00:32 I might have an undefeated record,
01:00:34 but that doesn't mean I'm perfect.
01:00:36 What are you here, Montez?
01:00:38 [sighs]
01:00:40 I want you to--
01:00:43 I can't believe I'm too nervous to say this.
01:00:46 Nikki, I want you to be my friend, for real this time.
01:00:50 Are you out of your mind?
01:00:51 No.
01:00:52 See, I learned something when I was with you.
01:00:54 There's no point in being money if I can't have happy.
01:00:58 For real?
01:00:59 Yeah.
01:01:00 You're a part of my legacy.
01:01:01 You were there when Body Stretcher told the truth.
01:01:03 You're the only person in the world who knows I'm the true champ.
01:01:06 Without you around, I'm just a mega rich, super handsome,
01:01:10 gecko-loving chump.
01:01:12 So what do you say?
01:01:13 Friends?
01:01:19 Nah.
01:01:20 Nah?
01:01:21 Yeah, nah.
01:01:23 It means no.
01:01:24 Now get the heck out of here.
01:01:26 You don't care about anyone but yourself.
01:01:28 Happy, please.
01:01:29 I'm nothing without you.
01:01:32 [sighs]
01:01:38 Ugh, the audacity.
01:01:41 You must want to die broke.
01:01:44 And who are you?
01:01:46 Captain Save-A-Hole.
01:01:47 You coming?
01:01:48 Oh, you're with him.
01:01:50 No shit.
01:01:51 Let's go chow my knees bad.
01:01:53 I'm not going to let him use me.
01:01:54 Why not?
01:01:55 Because Montez ain't a good person.
01:01:57 And you are?
01:01:59 Why?
01:02:00 Because you want to make things better?
01:02:02 Stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your head.
01:02:06 Why are you defending him?
01:02:07 Because I'm a fighter.
01:02:09 Been one my whole life.
01:02:10 All I know is hit and don't get hit, just like Montez.
01:02:14 And you over here taking it personal when there might be something in it for you.
01:02:19 You can leave now.
01:02:25 What do you think you're going to do?
01:02:26 Change the world from the bottom?
01:02:29 Child, please.
01:02:30 For you to get what you want in life, someone else is going to have to see your value first.
01:02:35 Someone with power who you probably won't agree with or respect.
01:02:40 Now, once you on top, then you do what you want.
01:02:43 Be as righteous as you want to be.
01:02:46 But you can't get there by yourself.
01:02:49 Not in this world.
01:02:50 It's designed to crush people like us.
01:02:53 So it all comes down to one question.
01:02:56 Do you want to be you?
01:03:03 Or do you want to be happy?
01:03:15 All right, Marissa.
01:03:16 What you think?
01:03:20 Well, what if I could change it?
01:03:26 You getting preachy on me.
01:03:28 I can change it.
01:03:29 Watch.
01:03:50 Meet my little brother.
01:03:51 His name's Darius.
01:03:52 Nice to meet you.
01:03:55 The boy is soft as hell.
01:03:57 And you've already met Granny.
01:03:59 Can I call you Granny, too?
01:04:00 Yeah, for $30 a month.
01:04:02 I'll help set you up with a payment plan and everything.
01:04:04 Granny, you tricked.
01:04:11 I'm done without you, bro.
01:04:12 Goddamn, my lord, you got it.
01:04:14 The hell you just say?
01:04:16 My bad.
01:04:18 I ain't getting back.
01:04:21 I'm done.
01:04:24 I'm done.
01:04:27 I'm done.
01:04:30 I'm done.
01:04:39 I'm done.
01:04:59 I'm done.
01:05:19 I'm done.
01:05:39 I'm done.
01:05:54 I'm done.
01:06:14 I'm done.
01:06:38 [BLANK_AUDIO]