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AmusantTranscription
00:00 *musique*
00:02 *musique*
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00:47 And now, the most mouse for your money, Mickey Mouse!
00:52 Hiya, folks!
00:53 Say, I heard the seven dwarves were late getting here tonight.
00:56 Seems they locked their keys in their van and took a whole hour to get Dopey out.
01:00 And now for the latest scoop on what the Toons are up to, here's some Main Street Gossip!
01:05 Main Street Gossip, yeah!
01:08 Clarabelle Cow here, tattling the tales of Toontown.
01:12 And I've got some juicy fish today.
01:14 First off, ears are wagging about the pairing of two of Toontown's biggest cheeses.
01:19 Sources reveal Mickey and Minnie Mouse are dating.
01:23 Everybody already knows that.
01:25 Next, a certain foul-tempered fowl gets angry at the first ruffled feather.
01:29 Yes, Donald Duck has an awful temper.
01:33 [mimics Donald Duck]
01:35 Where has she been?
01:37 [crowd booing]
01:39 Well, how about this?
01:41 Word has it a certain dippy dog has been labeled an incurable clutch.
01:45 Goofy is clumsy with a capital C!
01:49 Gawrsh, I hadn't heard that.
01:51 [mimics Goofy]
01:53 [crowd booing]
01:55 Oh, can it! Your news is older than Rafiki!
01:59 Older than Rafiki!
02:02 I have other big news.
02:06 What, that Snow White's the fairest of them all?
02:09 [mimics Snow White]
02:11 I didn't want to do this, but I guess I have no choice.
02:15 I hold in my hand the biggest secret this town has never heard.
02:19 It involves a certain someone, a certain somewhere, and a certain something.
02:25 But I'm not going to tell you until the end of the show.
02:29 [laughs]
02:31 Mirror, mirror on the wall, what's clear about secret do tell all.
02:35 You seek an answer, and an answer I see.
02:38 And all I'll reveal is it's not about me.
02:41 Here's a secret I'll share with you.
02:43 This top secret cartoon.
02:45 Hit it, Hank!
02:47 [music]
02:49 [applause]
02:51 [music]
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03:03 [music]
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03:07 [music]
03:09 [applause]
03:11 [music]
03:13 You there, ironing your underwear!
03:16 [mimics Goofy]
03:18 Cooking or washing your dishes.
03:20 Do you ever feel like someone's watching you?
03:23 [mimics Goofy]
03:25 What about your neighbor across the street?
03:28 Did you ever think they could be out to get you?
03:31 What should I do?
03:32 You have to get them before they get you.
03:35 Order the Ajax secret spy kit.
03:37 That's right, you too can be a spy.
03:42 Send me a spy kit on the double.
03:45 [music]
03:53 My top secret spy kit!
03:56 Shhh!
03:58 [music]
04:06 Hello, paranoid citizen.
04:08 I'm designed to teach you all you need to know to be a spy.
04:12 Now, place me just behind your ear.
04:16 Can you hear me?
04:20 Loud and clear.
04:22 Bing loud!
04:23 Before we begin, you must put on your spy suit.
04:29 It should fit snug.
04:31 [music]
04:45 Snug!
04:47 Lesson one, self defense.
04:49 In your front pocket, find what looks like a pen.
04:56 Now that you've mastered the laser pen,
04:58 you're ready for lesson two, debugging.
05:02 Bugs in my phone! Bugs in my phone!
05:05 Dumb joke.
05:06 Bugs in my phone! Bugs in my phone!
05:08 Lesson three, infiltration.
05:11 [musique]
05:40 [musique]
05:53 Infiltration complete.
05:55 Now, open your secret spy briefcase.
05:58 Oops, forgot it.
06:00 [musique]
06:08 Lesson four, sneaking around.
06:11 A spy must sneak about without making so much as a peep.
06:14 [musique]
06:29 Excellent!
06:30 No one will ever suspect you're here.
06:33 Lesson five, cracking locks.
06:35 [musique]
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06:47 [musique]
06:55 Lesson six, camouflage.
06:57 Quickly, press the automatic disguise feature on your secret spy wristband.
07:01 [musique]
07:20 Gosh, someone is after me.
07:23 They're plump, goofy, goofy.
07:26 Oh my gosh, now they're sneaking up on me.
07:30 Lesson seven, self-defense.
07:32 In the event someone's sneaking up on you,
07:34 remove the knockout gas umbrella from your left thigh pocket.
07:38 [musique]
07:44 I said your left pocket.
07:47 Open the umbrella to release a stunning cloud of knockout gas.
07:52 [toux]
07:56 Lesson eight, to catch your man,
07:58 wait until he's opened that ridiculous umbrella and gassed himself.
08:01 Then position yourself at the bottom of the stairs and wait patiently.
08:05 [toux]
08:09 And that concludes your Ajax Catch a Man course.
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