FOR LX Xander, one girlfriend just isn't enough. The music producer currently has six women on the go, but he's always looking for more. Speaking to Love Don't Judge, he explained: "It wasn't really a conscious decision for me to all of a sudden become polyamorous. I just found that traditional monogamy didn't really work with me in how I function as a human being." But not everyone approves of his unconventional lifestyle and LX Xander explained: "I definitely receive quite a lot of judgement. 90% of it is from men. They'll say things to try to make it look like it's fake or like I'm paying them. I think for some men, seeing the way I live is quite a hit to their ego." In this episode of Love Don't Judge, two of LX Xander's girlfriends, Nia and Avery, come by to hang out with LX Xander and meet Dani, who is potentially going to become girlfriend number seven. Dani said: "When he told me he had six girlfriends it didn't really bother me. As long as they're ok with doing what he does, I don't really see the issue." LX Xander's friend, Eli, will also reveal what he thinks about LX Xander's love life. Concluding on his polyamorous choices, LX Xander revealed: "I think people don't understand that actually I'm quite affectionate and warm. I really have real, meaningful relationships with people."
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00:00 This is Alexander.
00:02 He fell in love with six women.
00:05 I don't really have a cap on girlfriends.
00:08 Any more than ten is challenging.
00:12 Alexander has been told he is a player.
00:16 I think a lot of people think that I'm just like
00:18 some kind of like...
00:19 [Bleep]
00:20 boy.
00:21 It gets harder with more than four people.
00:24 It gets more challenging.
00:25 Today he is introducing a new person to his roster.
00:29 The reason I have seven of course is,
00:30 well, if you join you'll be Thursday.
00:33 Well, first of all, I just met you.
00:37 So I am not part of the group of girlfriends.
00:40 My name is Alex.
00:50 I have six girlfriends,
00:52 but I am always looking for more.
00:55 I live in Los Angeles, California.
00:56 I actually grew up in quite a small town in the north of England,
00:59 but I've been out here for about four or five years now.
01:01 So I'm a producer.
01:02 A lot of my time is spent making beats to send out to artists.
01:05 So I'm just working on a beat right now
01:06 before the girls come over shortly.
01:08 I currently have sort of six girls
01:12 that I would consider as like girlfriends.
01:15 So I have Nia,
01:17 Avery,
01:19 Zee out in Florida,
01:21 Beani,
01:22 and then there's Izzy.
01:25 And there's a couple more girls who I'm pretty close to,
01:28 but, you know, they're like a lot more private.
01:31 Hello, hello.
01:35 Hi.
01:36 I don't usually hang out with more than three girls at once.
01:40 It gets harder with more than four people.
01:43 It gets more challenging.
01:45 We just recently met not too, too long ago.
01:49 Alex was getting a tattoo that day
01:51 and we kind of left him.
01:53 Yeah, we were like, "Bye."
01:55 And we went and hung out together.
01:56 We went shopping.
01:58 Do you guys want to pick a jacket for me?
02:00 Yeah.
02:01 It wasn't really like a conscious decision for me
02:04 to all of a sudden become polyamorous.
02:06 I just kind of found that like traditional monogamy
02:08 didn't really work with me
02:10 and sort of like the way that I function as a human being.
02:14 That one's cute. I like that one.
02:15 Come, come, come.
02:17 Having to reserve all of my love and affection
02:21 for just one individual,
02:23 it doesn't fit right with me.
02:24 It doesn't feel right.
02:26 Do you like this one?
02:27 I was attracted to him physically first,
02:30 but like as I got to know him...
02:32 I got it!
02:33 So proud of you.
02:34 His little personality, it's adorable.
02:37 He's so sweet.
02:38 Should we say his little personality?
02:41 His tiny little minuscule personality.
02:44 He's very like just confident and weird and out there.
02:47 So, you know, he's authentically himself and that was hot.
02:51 I don't wish he was monogamous.
02:53 It just wouldn't make sense for him.
02:56 I definitely receive quite a lot of judgment.
02:58 90% of it is from men.
03:01 Let me pull up a couple of comments here.
03:03 "You are a white man making money off of black culture.
03:06 You are a guest here.
03:07 Don't be taking our women and degrading them
03:09 so you can make a fast dollar."
03:11 I had one comment saying, "Strippers will do anything.
03:14 Cats be acting like they're the man,
03:16 but really be getting hustled."
03:18 So they'll get it.
03:19 Probably never going to get it.
03:21 They'll say things to try and make it seem like it's fake
03:23 or like I'm paying them.
03:25 Or it's like, "Oh, he's like a sugar daddy."
03:27 Like all this nonsense, you know?
03:28 I think for some men, sort of seeing the way that I live
03:31 is kind of like quite a hit to their ego.
03:34 They assume that I must be like not treating girls well
03:39 if I'm seeing other people.
03:40 It's like, they can't understand that it can be both.
03:42 I can see the people
03:43 and I can also treat them like queens, you know?
03:46 Today, I'm going to be meeting with a new girl,
03:49 possibly girlfriend number seven.
03:51 We've spoken a lot over text,
03:52 spoken on the phone a couple of times,
03:53 but this will be the first time I'll meet her in person.
03:55 Hello, hello.
03:56 - Hi.
03:57 - You're so tiny.
03:58 - Nice to meet you.
04:00 - Oh my God.
04:01 - When attracting me to Alex,
04:02 it's like he's kind, he's very funny, he's sweet.
04:06 And I like the fact that he was straightforward
04:09 and honest like right away.
04:11 When he told me he had six girlfriends,
04:13 it didn't really bother me.
04:15 He's just looking for fun
04:16 and I'm having six girlfriends
04:18 and as long as they're okay with him doing
04:20 whatever he does, I happily see the issue.
04:22 - That's right.
04:23 Everybody, this is Dani.
04:27 - Hi.
04:27 - This is Nia, Avery.
04:29 - Nice to meet you, Dani.
04:30 - Go take a seat.
04:31 - So do you like consider him your boyfriend
04:34 or do you consider them your girlfriends?
04:36 - There's definitely some girls that I see
04:38 who I wouldn't consider girlfriends,
04:40 but I'm pretty tight with these two.
04:42 - I would consider him my boyfriend.
04:44 - You consider him your boyfriend?
04:45 - Yeah.
04:46 - Question though, would you be upset
04:48 if either, like it's not a thing
04:49 where they're not like able to have other dudes?
04:54 - I mean, it's up to everybody
04:55 to do whatever they want to do.
04:57 I don't like to put any expectations
05:00 on anybody to do anything.
05:02 You know, like people just kind of choose
05:04 their own level of engagement, level of involvement.
05:06 And then we just all kind of adjust
05:08 and navigate around that.
05:10 - So do you guys ever feel jealous
05:11 when like you see him being affectionate
05:13 with another girl or like, you know,
05:16 like do you ever feel a type of way at all?
05:20 - For me, I kind of view all of his relationships
05:23 just as like their own separate entities
05:26 to like whatever's happening there.
05:29 Like not my circus, not my monkeys,
05:31 but you know, it doesn't mean that jealousy doesn't happen.
05:36 - Sometimes it's like what comes out is beautiful
05:39 and the girls just absolutely love each other
05:40 and they become like really close and become-
05:43 - So long-term, what would be like your goal?
05:45 You're an old man, you're like 80.
05:47 What does that look like?
05:48 Like you're 80, are you with like the however many girls
05:56 or are you like-
05:57 - Going full Hefner?
05:58 - Yeah.
05:59 - Honestly, I can't really predict that far ahead.
06:05 When it comes to relationships,
06:06 I just like things to be like organic
06:08 and you know, be about chemistry.
06:09 - Which I appreciate about you a lot actually.
06:11 - The reason I have seven of course is,
06:13 well, if you join, you'll be Thursday.
06:16 - Well, first of all, I just met you,
06:20 so I am not part of the group of girlfriends.
06:22 - So Eli's about to come over.
06:27 He's gonna talk to you guys a little bit about
06:30 how he feels about my obnoxious wild boy lifestyle.
06:36 - Hey.
06:39 - Hey, what's good?
06:40 - How you doing?
06:41 - Hey, good to see you, man.
06:42 It's just perplexing to me
06:44 how you have the time to do it all.
06:47 Are you just like a machine?
06:48 - These are reasonable concerns.
06:52 I suppose my like baseline level,
06:57 I'm quite sort of high performing.
07:00 Even when I feel like I'm slacking off,
07:01 I'm doing more than kind of most people do in a day.
07:04 I'm kind of quite good at juggling all the tasks
07:07 and all the women I suppose.
07:09 - So do you sleep at all?
07:13 - I think a lot of people just think that
07:14 because I see multiple girls,
07:17 they just think that I'm just like
07:19 some kind of like (beep) boy.
07:23 I think people don't understand that, you know,
07:25 I actually, I'm quite affectionate and quite warm.
07:29 I really have like real meaningful relationships
07:32 with people.
07:32 It's not like I'm just running around
07:33 just like throwing my (beep) around for the sake of it.
07:36 - Honestly, seeing it from the outside looking in,
07:38 you make it seem so easy
07:40 and it looks doable, you know?
07:43 But for me personally, I just,
07:45 I live vicariously through you.
07:47 (laughing)
07:49 - Happy to be of service.
07:51 Next year or so,
07:52 just gonna really focus on this career stuff,
07:54 continue to nurture relationships with people
07:56 that I feel chemistry with
07:59 and just keep doing my thing as a wild boy.
08:02 (upbeat music)
08:05 (upbeat music)
08:07 (upbeat music)
08:10 (upbeat music)
08:13 (upbeat music)
08:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]