On this episode of Actually Me, Bill Burr goes undercover online and replies to real comments from fans on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, YouTube, TikTok and more. Why is he referred to as a comedian's comedian? When is his next special dropping? Why did he take up piloting helicopters?Check out Bill's film, Old Dads, on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81674327His Monday Morning Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5SFiQlOQ3EKmwp0chE1QzYAnd all of his tour dates: https://billburr.com/#tourdatesDirector: Kristen DeVoreDirector of Photography: Grant BellEditor: Robby MasseyGuest: Bill BurrProducer: Sam DennisLine Producer: Jen SantosProduction Manager: James PipitoneProduction Coordinator: Elizabeth HymesEquipment Manager: Kevin BalashTalent Booker: Paige GarbariniCamera Operator: Nick Massey; Lucas VilicichSound Mixer: Cassiano PereiraProduction Assistant: Liza Antonova; Shenelle JonesStylist: Lauren PrestonHair & Make-Up: Vanessa RenePost Production Supervisor: Rachael KnightPost Production Coordinator: Ian BryantSupervising Editor: Rob LombardiAssistant Editor: Billy Ward
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00That's what I look at social media like.
00:02It's like, I'm just chasing the same people
00:04that are trying to act like,
00:05oh, you're still on Instagram?
00:06It's like, you were on Instagram.
00:07You had a man bun.
00:09You listened to emo.
00:10You rollerbladed.
00:11You can just keep going back, right?
00:13You had a hula hoop.
00:14Hey, what's up, GQ?
00:15It's Bill Burr.
00:16And I'm going undercover on the internet.
00:19Huh?
00:20Oh, it's actually me.
00:26Don't you like that?
00:27It's actually me.
00:28That sounds like the end of one of the shows
00:29your wife watches.
00:32All right, here we go.
00:33Can somebody help me identify what type of Adidas sneakers
00:37Bill Burr is wearing?
00:39Good question.
00:39Those are like the Bob Laniers, the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
00:43That's from like way back in the day.
00:45Somewhere around the first Shaq shoe
00:48that looked like an eye exam
00:51or some sort of weather forecast.
00:53I was just like, I don't get what sneakers are anymore.
00:56You know what I mean?
00:57And then a few years later,
00:58there was the first Kobe that was all squared off,
01:01looking like the feet of robots, you know?
01:04I think it was supposed to be like RoboCop.
01:05So I've always liked the old ones,
01:07the Dr. J's, the Kareem's, you know?
01:11Jesus Christ, look at this.
01:12What do you think would get Bill mad enough
01:14so that he cut off his ear like Van Gogh?
01:18First of all, that painting is amazing.
01:21And I'm not just saying that because that's me.
01:23Maybe it is because I actually look,
01:25I look pretty wild in that.
01:27Like whoever did this, you are amazingly talented.
01:30I might have to steal that look.
01:31What would you make me mad enough to cut my ear off?
01:33Nothing.
01:37I mean, I'm an asshole, but I'm not that crazy.
01:39What is the prevent defense?
01:41Non-American.
01:42After Googling it, I still don't get it.
01:45Hey, after watching it for almost 40 years,
01:47I don't fucking get it.
01:48Can someone explain it to me as if I'm five?
01:52The prevent defense.
01:53All right, on paper, you're winning the game.
01:56There's a little amount of time left.
01:58So rather than getting up on the line
02:00and covering their receivers,
02:02the receivers, the person you throw the ball to,
02:04what they do is they give them a big cushion
02:07and allegedly protect the sidelines.
02:09If you go out of bounds, the clock stops.
02:11So you basically just give them a 20-yard cushion.
02:16I can't do metrics.
02:17I don't know what that is.
02:19What's supposed to happen is you tackle them,
02:21and before they go down the field and score,
02:23the clock runs out.
02:25That never happens.
02:27What happens is they just get 20-yard completions
02:29and go out of bounds,
02:30and then every shit quarterback in the league
02:33all of a sudden looks like Joe Montana.
02:35All right, Star Wars.
02:37Fucking Star Wars, dude.
02:39Nobody says wicked awesome.
02:41They don't.
02:42Can you buy these?
02:42I don't think that you can.
02:44I have no idea.
02:45But if you can, I know I don't make any money.
02:48Now on to Quora.
02:50Quora sounds like some sort of chant you do
02:52at a yoga class that you shouldn't have gone to.
02:54Is Bill Burr a psychopath?
02:55Well, I mean, if I was, I can't answer that.
02:59You'd have to analyze me.
03:00What would you estimate Bill Burr's IQ?
03:02I would take the under on that one.
03:04Why is Bill Burr referred to as a comedian's comedian?
03:07You know why?
03:08Because I do my fucking time.
03:09I don't burn the light.
03:10That's why.
03:11If I'm supposed to do 15 minutes, I do 15 minutes.
03:13If I pop in, I'm not going to go in and burn the light
03:16and lean on the mic stand and be like,
03:17yes, what else is going on?
03:19And just standing up there being a fucking asshole.
03:22I mean, I'm a nice guy.
03:23Try to be.
03:24You know, people would debate that.
03:25But you know.
03:26What is the life of a Boston sports fan like?
03:30It's awesome.
03:31It's always been awesome.
03:32Winning or losing, it's always been awesome
03:33because it is bigger than religion in Massachusetts.
03:37People watch every game.
03:39Like when I lived there, you know,
03:41and I had somebody to talk to,
03:42like when the Bruins had a season,
03:44you just watched every game.
03:47And then the Celtics were always great.
03:49The Patriots were fun.
03:50Patriots were hilarious.
03:51It was just like, we weren't really even in the league.
03:55You know, we had this little guy on the side of our helmet.
03:57We played in what looked like a high school football stadium.
04:00None of it made sense.
04:01We'd always come close and then we would mess it up.
04:05And then a guy named Bob Kraft bought the team
04:08and made three of the greatest coaching hires in a row.
04:11Bill Parcells, Pete Carroll, and then Bill Belichick,
04:14which is insane.
04:15So I have full faith on whoever the hell he hired next.
04:20Look at me.
04:21All of a sudden it's a sports show.
04:22This is what it's like.
04:23When is Bill Burr's next special coming out?
04:25Aren't there enough?
04:27There are enough fucking standup specials.
04:29Jesus Christ, they put out one a week.
04:30That's classic me.
04:31This person's like a fan.
04:32They want to know when my next one,
04:34and I take it as like a, you know, let's go, let's go.
04:37Like that's how I heard it.
04:38I'm learning.
04:39When's my next special coming out?
04:40I don't know, but I am shooting it this year.
04:42And I'm not going to lie to you.
04:43I am having some of the best shows of my career.
04:47Instagram.
04:48It's me.
04:49I don't have enough money for a stunt double.
04:50Okay.
04:51How come John Lovitz looks exactly the same
04:54as he did in 1993?
04:56Oh, that's because his dad is a basset hound.
04:58He comes from a long line of sad people.
05:01When he's funny from a distance,
05:02but if you get too close to him,
05:04that sadness comes on you.
05:06He's a horrible human being.
05:08No, he's actually one of my favorite people
05:10in this business.
05:11That's not a good picture of him.
05:12But they're not saying he looks bad.
05:13I did all of that, didn't I?
05:14Sorry, John.
05:15They're saying you haven't aged.
05:18Oh, all right.
05:19Dr. Phil Live.
05:21Adam Ray.
05:22Unbelievably talented comedian.
05:24All right.
05:25Is this really Dr. Phil?
05:26I think he captures his essence.
05:28Dr. Phil, you know, has to play like a little
05:32like more humble on his actual show.
05:34What I liked about the way Adam Ray does it,
05:37you get more of Dr. Phil around the house
05:39where maybe, you know, every couple of hours
05:41he reminds his wife how much money he's making
05:44and how well she's being taken care of.
05:46So whatever it is that he's doing that she doesn't like,
05:48she might want to think about bringing it up the next time.
05:51What is this?
05:51How much football do you watch a week?
05:53Oh yeah, yeah.
05:54That's back before I had kids.
05:56I still had a little bit of hair.
05:58I used to watch, you know, a one o'clock game,
06:00a four o'clock game, and then a late game.
06:02And then I would be, with the package,
06:04I would be taping other games.
06:05And then you already had a Monday night
06:06and you had a Thursday night game.
06:07So I'd have a Tuesday and a Wednesday game
06:10and a Friday game to watch during the week
06:12that I had recorded.
06:14And then on Saturday, I would watch college football.
06:17Now I have kids and I don't know,
06:19I'm always watching Bluey,
06:21which is oddly, you know, really deep.
06:24What are we doing here?
06:25I'm getting misty-eyed watching a cartoon.
06:27All right, Twitter.
06:28I love that we're still calling it Twitter.
06:30All right, and that laminated asshole
06:32is going to have to deal with it.
06:33I like the letter X, do ya?
06:35Gives a fuck.
06:36I know he was added to the show ironically,
06:39but man, someone give Bill Burr an Oscar
06:41for that performance for chapter 15 of The Mandalorian.
06:45Well, first of all, it's television.
06:47So you can't win an Oscar.
06:48It's an Emmy.
06:49We wanted you to say that so bad.
06:51Do you know something, what I want to say so bad?
06:53Somebody always says, whenever I do something dumb,
06:55they go, oh, your buddy, a buddy of mine who died.
06:57They go, oh, he'd be rolling over in his grave right now.
06:59And I always want to be like, he was cremated.
07:02Who the fuck brings up somebody's dead friend?
07:04Thank you for watching Star Wars.
07:08Okay, let me just read this here.
07:09Donald Trump walked into an arena
07:11that holds 20,000 people and 19,999 people were so happy.
07:16And then there was Bill Burr's wife.
07:18Yeah, and I love how people are like,
07:19oh, how can you do that?
07:21It's like, well, he's racist.
07:23He likes to sort of plagiarize some Hitler stuff
07:26every once in a while.
07:27Like, what is surprising
07:30that a black woman wouldn't like him?
07:31I don't like the guy.
07:32My wife giving him the finger is what I love about my wife.
07:36You know where you stand with her.
07:37And you can't say that about a lot of people.
07:39So when I say something around the house,
07:41if she laughs, I know it's funny.
07:43And then also I know if it pisses her off,
07:46I tell her I'm going to put that in my act.
07:47And then she goes, don't put that in your act.
07:49I go, absolutely.
07:50If you say don't put it in the act,
07:51it goes in the fucking act.
07:53All right, let's go to YouTube
07:54and see what you animals said.
07:56I would pay money to see Bill
07:57at a parent-teacher conference
07:58or school function of any kind.
08:00Dude, I don't act like how I do on stage.
08:02Oh no, I did have one incident.
08:06We're friends now.
08:07Wikipedia, the poor man's encyclopedia.
08:11On August 21st, 2022,
08:13Burr became the first comedian
08:15to perform at Fenway Park
08:17in front of a sold-out crowd of around 35,000 people.
08:20It was also the largest comedy show
08:22in the history of Boston.
08:24Well, I mean, I didn't count everybody.
08:25Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
08:28Yeah, it was unbelievable.
08:31And then once I got out there,
08:32they just have like,
08:33it's so figured out with like the sound
08:34and the big screens.
08:35It was just like this giant comedy club.
08:38Everybody always goes, just make sure you take it in.
08:40You can't take it in when you're doing standup.
08:42It's like, tell a joke, bam.
08:43And then they're like waiting for the next one.
08:44So I can't, you know.
08:46You know what Taylor Swift just takes in her crowd?
08:53Yeah, you can't do that in standup.
08:55Burr first performed standup comedy
08:57at the age of 23 on March 2nd, 1992.
08:59That is true.
09:00There was a find Boston's funniest college student contest
09:04at Nick's Comedy Stop, which is still there.
09:06All I remember from the first night
09:07is that I walked on stage,
09:09forgot everything that I was gonna say,
09:11but I remember reaching for the microphone
09:12and it felt like an outer body experience.
09:14And I kind of knew in that moment,
09:16I had finally found what I wanted to do.
09:18Like 23 doesn't sound old to me now,
09:20but 23 flailing when you're 23,
09:23you feel kind of hopelessly behind.
09:25And I had tried construction, landscaping,
09:28warehousing, sales.
09:29I tried all of this stuff.
09:31I was working in a dental office with my dad at that time.
09:33And just none of it was,
09:35I should get my license to sell health insurance.
09:37And that's how far down the wrong road I was going.
09:40If I can give you guys any advice,
09:43cause a lot of people have traumatic childhoods.
09:45One of the hardest things to do learn in life
09:47is to listen to the voice inside of you.
09:49Cause everybody else has been yelling at you
09:51to not say what you're thinking.
09:53So that, and that will really steer you
09:56away from what you want in life.
09:58You have to really like, listen.
10:01Burr is a licensed helicopter pilot
10:03and enjoys playing drums.
10:05I love playing drums and I love flying helicopters.
10:09I absolutely love them.
10:10And I got involved in them because of conspiracy theory.
10:13Everybody thinks conspiracy theory is bad.
10:16I was, you know, reading about the dollar
10:18and how there was nothing behind it.
10:19And I was thinking, what if it collapsed?
10:21How do you get out of LA?
10:22You can't even get out of it when everybody believes
10:24that there's going to be food tomorrow.
10:26And it just made sense up and out.
10:27Helicopter.
10:28TikTok.
10:29I'm not on TikTok.
10:31I drew that Instagram and was like, that's it.
10:33Can we get you reading books in schools?
10:35Teach the kids some real life lessons
10:37and tell the hard truth about life.
10:38Ha ha, they need it.
10:40I've done this actually.
10:41Did I read books?
10:42No, it was like Jimi Hendrix day or something like that.
10:44Black History Month.
10:45So they were doing something for Jimi Hendrix,
10:47which is really stupid.
10:48What, you're only going to appreciate Jimi Hendrix
10:49in fucking February?
10:50Is he not good in April?
10:52Let's just plow ahead here.
10:53There's no way you lose when you go after your dream.
10:57No, you don't.
10:58Because it leads you to a better place
11:00and the lessons that you learn.
11:02Sometimes going after a dream,
11:04you find out that that's not even what you wanted.
11:07Like that's not going to be this phantom itch
11:09you're never going to be able to scratch
11:10because you tried it and you're like,
11:11hey, you know what?
11:12This isn't for me.
11:13Your dream changes too.
11:14I started in 92 and being a comedian
11:18and being famous, what that was in 1992
11:21before mainstream internet and cell phones and all that.
11:25It went from something that seemed cool to like, ugh.
11:28Like maybe, you know, not so much.
11:30Became like truffle oil.
11:32Remember that was like a big fucking thing.
11:34They just put that in everything.
11:35It was just like, it was too much.
11:36Prosperity is never guaranteed regardless.
11:38So why not fail at what you love
11:40rather than fail at something you don't care about?
11:43All right, I don't understand
11:44why they had to jump on what I said.
11:46That's like a big thing, like an Instagram.
11:49Like somebody's doing something
11:50and all of a sudden your fucking head is just sitting there
11:52and like, this person's playing an amazing guitar solo.
11:54I can't enjoy it unless I see what your reaction is.
11:57That's a major red flag for narcissists,
12:01which is something you need to learn to recognize.
12:03Okay, that's it.
12:04I'm signing off the internet.
12:07Closing the laptop.
12:08Thank you guys for taking the time to write in.
12:10I had a good time.
12:11I hope you did too.