You Said a Mouthful 1932
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00:11:08 Before we go into the details of the estate, I want to inform you a request that your late aunt made.
00:11:14 [Coughing]
00:11:18 You remember that the deceased spent most of her life in the South.
00:11:21 Correct.
00:11:22 She was very fond of her housekeeper, who died last year, and fonder still of her housekeeper's child.
00:11:28 Well, what of that?
00:11:30 You see, the poor boy is an orphan now, and your aunt earnestly requested that you give him a home.
00:11:35 It's a pleasure.
00:11:37 Then you'll agree to take care of the child?
00:11:39 I'll even be a father to him.
00:11:41 Good. We'll call him.
00:11:43 Come on in, Sam, and meet your new father, Mr. Holt.
00:11:49 Mr. Holt?
00:11:50 Mr. Holt? This is Sam.
00:12:00 I'm sure pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Holt.
00:12:06 Me too.
00:12:08 Is this gentleman going to be my new pappy?
00:12:11 Yes, Sam.
00:12:12 That's fine.
00:12:14 All right, Sam, now you sit down. Mr. Holt and I have a lot of business to settle.
00:12:18 Well, I suppose nothing much matters if you're rich.
00:12:22 And now we get down to the financial details of the inheritance.
00:12:25 Hmm. Again, it's a pleasure.
00:12:28 Here we have 5,000 shares of amalgamated biscuit stock.
00:12:32 How much is that worth?
00:12:33 In 1929, at the market peak, it was selling for $500 a share.
00:12:37 5,000 shares at $500? Gee, that's marvelous.
00:12:42 But of course, it's decreased rapidly in the past three years.
00:12:45 Last month, the company failed. The stock isn't worth a nickel today.
00:12:48 You mean I couldn't get a nickel for it?
00:12:50 You couldn't even sell it for wallpaper.
00:12:53 Now we have 10,000 shares of Rover bicycle stock.
00:12:57 I suppose that company failed last month, too.
00:13:00 Oh, no. They went out in 1903, when the automobile came in.
00:13:04 Why, this stock has been worthless for almost 30 years.
00:13:07 Aunt Minnie didn't do so well with her investments, did she?
00:13:11 Well, she did as well as the majority of investors.
00:13:15 Now here we have 1,000 shares of bank stock.
00:13:19 Mahogany desks, marble counters, vaults full of cash.
00:13:23 Now we're getting somewhere.
00:13:26 Well, yes and no.
00:13:28 You see, they slapped an assessment of $10 per share on all the stockholders.
00:13:32 It'll cost you $10,000 to own this stock.
00:13:35 It'll cost me? Say, I came here to get money, not to pay it out.
00:13:39 Never mind all these stocks. Didn't she leave any cash?
00:13:42 Oh, certainly. $105.80, after the funeral expenses were deducted.
00:13:48 Only $105? Say, are you kidding?
00:13:51 It cost me over $300 to come here from Iowa.
00:13:54 Well, Mr. Jones, I...
00:13:56 Golly.
00:13:58 Well, that's unfortunate.
00:14:00 But of course, you're not entitled to the entire cash request.
00:14:03 My firm will have to charge you $100 for administering the estate.
00:14:07 There you are, Mr. Holt. $5.80.
00:14:11 Is that all I get?
00:14:14 That's all.
00:14:15 Oh, that and the amalgamated biscuit, robo-bicycle and bank of grease stocks.
00:14:19 Oh, and, uh, Sam.
00:14:22 Yeah. And Sam.
00:14:28 [Birds chirping]
00:14:32 [Birds chirping]
00:14:58 [Screams]
00:15:02 I'm quite sure he's going to be on this boat.
00:15:18 Please see if you can find him. I'll wait here.
00:15:21 Yes, ma'am.
00:15:22 Call for Mr. Holt, please. Call for Mr. Holt, please.
00:15:27 I don't want to work on any island.
00:15:29 I don't want to ride on any boat.
00:15:31 What's the matter?
00:15:33 What's the matter?
00:15:36 Look at all that water.
00:15:38 I never knew that harbors were so full of water.
00:15:41 Let's get out of here, quick.
00:15:43 Mr. Holt, please. Mr. Holt, please.
00:15:46 Here's Mr. Holt.
00:15:47 Is you Mr. Holt? Mr. Joe Holt?
00:15:50 Yes, but I've decided I don't want to take the job.
00:15:53 The lady over there wants to see you.
00:15:57 Oh, Mr. Holt. I'm so glad I found you.
00:16:00 You are Mr. Holt, aren't you?
00:16:02 Why, yes.
00:16:03 You're just as I pictured you.
00:16:05 Yeah, but I don't understand.
00:16:07 Oh, of course you don't. I'm Alice Brandon.
00:16:09 My father's Tom Brandon. You're going to stay at our house.
00:16:12 Oh, does your father run the hotel?
00:16:14 Stop kidding me. Have you got your ticket?
00:16:17 But, but Miss Brandon, there must be some mistake.
00:16:20 Oh, don't be bashful. Everything's all arranged.
00:16:22 Come along now. We've got to hurry.
00:16:26 Boys!
00:16:28 How do you do, Miss Brandon?
00:16:32 Mr. Holt's reservation, please.
00:16:33 Mr. Holt. I'm glad to know you, Mr. Holt.
00:16:36 How many?
00:16:37 One.
00:16:38 And a half.
00:16:39 One and a half.
00:16:41 There you are, Miss Brandon.
00:16:43 I'm sure glad I met you, Mr. Holt.
00:16:45 And I wish you the best of luck.
00:16:47 Thank you.
00:16:48 Come along. We've got to hurry.
00:16:53 Reservation to the Joe Holt.
00:16:55 Mr. Holt got his tickets. He just went aboard.
00:16:57 Oh, yeah? I'm Joe Holt.
00:16:59 I told you, Mr. Holt just went aboard. He's with Miss Brandon.
00:17:02 I'm Joe Holt and I want my tickets.
00:17:04 I'm sorry, but Mr. Holt...
00:17:21 Look.
00:17:23 Come here.
00:17:28 We're in the Catalina Channel.
00:17:32 You know, you were naughty not to wire us you were coming.
00:17:36 Was I?
00:17:37 But I'm on to you. You were going to sneak over for secret practice.
00:17:41 Yeah. If there's anything I'm crazy about, it's secret practice.
00:17:45 You're the strangest man. You never talk about yourself at all.
00:17:49 I... I get sort of bored with me.
00:17:52 I suppose all great athletes are modest.
00:17:55 Tell me, how did you get started?
00:17:57 Well, I...
00:17:59 My father, he taught me everything.
00:18:02 He was the best player in Iowa.
00:18:04 Player?
00:18:05 Yeah. Harmonica, baseball, cross shoes, pennies, anything.
00:18:10 You were an all-around athlete.
00:18:12 Yeah. Kind of all around in all directions.
00:18:15 I see.
00:18:16 And that gave you the strength and determination to become a champion.
00:18:20 Yes. You'll never know how I struggled to get to the top.
00:18:24 I can hardly wait to see you in action.
00:18:27 When you do, you'll never forget it.
00:18:29 Everybody on the island can just hardly wait to see you.
00:18:32 I must send a wireless and tell them that you're actually on board.
00:18:36 [rumbling]
00:18:46 [rumbling]
00:18:54 Hello!
00:18:55 Hello!
00:18:59 Who is that fellow on that leaping egg crate?
00:19:01 Well, that's Ed Dover.
00:19:05 Your car's ready, Mr. Brandon.
00:19:07 Fine. Thank you.
00:19:12 I'll go down and meet the boat.
00:19:14 All right.
00:19:15 [chatter]
00:19:18 Hello, Dad! Oh, Dad!
00:19:20 Hello!
00:19:21 There he is!
00:19:22 But, Miss Brandon, please, I can't...
00:19:23 Not another word. It's all settled. You're going to live with us.
00:19:26 Now, come on.
00:19:27 Hello, Dad!
00:19:29 [chatter]
00:19:31 There he is, Dad, the champion!
00:19:33 Well, this is a pleasure.
00:19:35 How do you do, Mr. Holt?
00:19:37 I'm sure I speak for all of these people
00:19:39 when I welcome you as Catalina's guest of honor.
00:19:42 [chatter]
00:19:45 Wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute.
00:19:46 Give me a break. Joe, hold it for a still, will you?
00:19:49 This way, Mr. Holt.
00:19:51 Right this way, Joe.
00:19:53 Now, wait a minute.
00:19:54 You started here, didn't you? Come on, let me get one.
00:19:56 One second, Joe.
00:19:57 Right here, Joe. Right there.
00:19:59 Hello, Alice. It's great to see you back again.
00:20:01 Hello, Mr. Brandon.
00:20:02 Hello, Ed.
00:20:03 Oh, Ed, Mr. Holt. Mr. Holt. Mr. Dover.
00:20:05 I've heard of Mr. Holt.
00:20:06 Congratulations.
00:20:07 How's the water, Ed?
00:20:08 Fine, but there's something wrong with the boat.
00:20:10 We can't get it to do over 30 today.
00:20:11 You like aquapainting, Holt?
00:20:13 Well, I'd rather play Parcheesi.
00:20:15 [laughter]
00:20:17 Mr. Holt is a great kidder.
00:20:19 I found that out already.
00:20:21 Yes, he must be.
00:20:22 Well, I've got to get back to work.
00:20:23 See you at the house, Ed.
00:20:24 Fine, thanks.
00:20:25 Glad to have met you, Mr. Holt.
00:20:26 We'll have to take aquapainting soon.
00:20:28 I guess you and I will see quite a lot of each other.
00:20:30 If we do, you can't blame it onto me.
00:20:32 [laughter]
00:20:33 Come along, Mr. Holt.
00:20:34 We're off to the house now.
00:20:36 When are you going to work out, Holt?
00:20:37 [chatter]
00:20:39 [chatter]
00:20:45 [chatter]
00:20:48 Ladies and gentlemen, don't be alarmed.
00:20:51 I'm not going to make a speech.
00:20:53 I just want to propose a toast to our guest of honor.
00:20:56 [applause]
00:20:59 To the greatest long-distance swimmer of modern times,
00:21:02 Joe Holt of Canada.
00:21:05 [applause]
00:21:19 Well, I--
00:21:20 Thank you.
00:21:21 I, uh--
00:21:24 My supplies.
00:21:25 Mr. Holt, do you use the single or the double overarm?
00:21:28 Oh, I-- I just--
00:21:30 I use a sort of a combination of both.
00:21:34 And what about a kick?
00:21:36 Australian crawl or a Trojan?
00:21:39 Just any sincere kick.
00:21:41 [laughter]
00:21:51 What is he driving at?
00:21:52 I must watch this man.
00:21:53 He suspects me.
00:21:54 I saw the jealous, angry desire in his eyes for Alice.
00:21:57 Alice.
00:21:58 She likes me.
00:21:59 It burns him up.
00:22:03 Well, I--
00:22:04 I crawl with one foot and Trojan with the other.
00:22:08 He's ribbing you, my boy.
00:22:09 Yes.
00:22:11 But I may say about swimming that I'm--
00:22:16 I'm pretty stale just now.
00:22:18 And my doctor says I can't even get wet for a year.
00:22:21 [laughter]
00:22:25 Mr. Holt, I want to compliment you on your very amusing speech.
00:22:29 But of course, we understand you're just joking when you say you can't swim for a year.
00:22:33 We all know that the marathon swim from Catalina Island to the mainland is next week.
00:22:39 And you are here for no other reason except to win that $25,000 purse for the 21-mile race.
00:22:47 And we all wish you good luck.
00:22:50 [applause]
00:22:56 You can joke all you want, but you'll find this is the toughest race you've ever been in.
00:23:00 In the first place, that water in the channel is ice cold.
00:23:03 Those riptides and cross currents are murder.
00:23:06 And if a fellow ever got tangled up in that octopus seaweed, it would be the end of him.
00:23:11 I hate seaweed.
00:23:13 I never go near it.
00:23:15 Then there's always the danger of man-eating sharks and swordfish.
00:23:26 Yes, sir, this is shorter, but it's ten times more difficult than the swim across the English Channel.
00:23:31 I've swum both.
00:23:34 Oh, you--you--you swam the--
00:23:37 Well, I--
00:23:38 [clears throat]
00:23:41 I--I have to go to my room.
00:23:44 Oh, excuse me, I forgot my handkerchief.
00:23:54 You're wanted on the phone, sir.
00:23:57 The Los Angeles police are calling about Mr. Holt, sir.
00:24:05 Hello?
00:24:06 Sorry to trouble you, sir, but we've got a man here.
00:24:08 Says his name is Holt.
00:24:10 That you know him.
00:24:11 But Mr. Holt is here now.
00:24:13 A guest at my house.
00:24:15 Your Holt's an imposter.
00:24:17 Okay.
00:24:20 Lock him up.
00:24:22 Say, let me talk to that guy.
00:24:23 [arguing]
00:24:37 But Alice, you liked me well enough before you went away.
00:24:40 I suppose so.
00:24:41 Now you're short with this Daffy Holt and I'm out of the picture.
00:24:44 Now, please, leave Mr. Holt out of this, Ed.
00:24:46 I'll leave him out, all right.
00:24:47 Wait till I get him in that race.
00:24:49 Hmm, you sort of fancy yourself as a swimmer, don't you?
00:24:52 This championship business certainly has taken you off your feet.
00:24:55 But I'll make such a monkey of him in that race that you won't even let him in the back door.
00:25:00 What you doing, Mr. Joe?
00:25:02 I'm rescuing a champion swimmer from a watery grave.
00:25:08 I don't know who they think I am, but I know that I'm somebody else.
00:25:12 And I'm leaving.
00:25:14 You plans to give up swimming?
00:25:16 Don't be foolish.
00:25:17 I never had it.
00:25:19 I'm going downstairs right now and tell them all the truth.
00:25:25 That Miss Alice is sure one beautiful gal.
00:25:28 Yeah.
00:25:29 And she's kind and nice and honest.
00:25:34 And I'm just a fake.
00:25:36 Joe, I can swim gorgeous.
00:25:38 I can teach you how in no time.
00:25:41 Not for all the tea in China.
00:25:44 Unless I've been sadly missing farms, we is broke.
00:25:48 And if you don't swim, how else is you aim to leave this island?
00:25:55 Golly.
00:25:59 I never thought of that.
00:26:07 When you hear a lot of people swearing outside and a dull thud, come running with the bags.
00:26:13 Why?
00:26:14 That dull thud will be me.
00:26:20 Hello.
00:26:32 Miss Brandon, I've been packing.
00:26:35 Packing?
00:26:36 Why?
00:26:37 Well, I just came down to tell you that I--
00:26:40 Come over here.
00:26:45 I'd like to ask you a favor.
00:26:48 You name it and I'll do it.
00:26:50 Well, I just had a sort of quarrel with Ed Dover.
00:26:53 See, I never liked that fellow and I always will.
00:26:56 He insulted us both.
00:26:58 You've just got to win the race.
00:27:00 Humiliate him.
00:27:01 Beat him by at least a mile.
00:27:03 Promise me you will.
00:27:04 For my sake.
00:27:12 What shall I say?
00:27:13 That horrible race again.
00:27:15 Love and pride and hope in her eyes for the man she thinks I am.
00:27:18 Why am I not he, him?
00:27:20 Why am I afraid?
00:27:22 Her eyes promised me everything if only--
00:27:24 No, I've got to tell her the truth.
00:27:26 Confess.
00:27:27 I promise I'll beat him by at least five miles, Miss--
00:27:31 Alice, mister.
00:27:33 Joe.
00:27:34 Alice.
00:27:36 Joe, make him look foolish.
00:27:39 Rub it in.
00:27:40 A mere nothing.
00:27:42 Of course.
00:27:43 But no one except you could do it.
00:27:45 He's really a marvelous swimmer, you know.
00:27:47 Will you please?
00:27:49 For me.
00:27:50 I'd consider it a privilege, Miss--
00:27:53 Alice.
00:27:55 Oh, you are a darling.
00:27:59 Gee, Miss Brandon.
00:28:01 Gosh.
00:28:03 Gosh.
00:28:15 I've got myself into a terrible jam.
00:28:17 I love her, don't I?
00:28:18 And I've got to make her respect me.
00:28:20 I can't do that unless I beat Dover, and I can't beat Dover unless I learn to swim.
00:28:24 Well, why shouldn't I learn to swim?
00:28:26 Women swim.
00:28:27 Children swim.
00:28:28 Even baby ducks learn to swim.
00:28:31 You've certainly got much more intelligence than a baby duck.
00:28:34 [Squeaking]
00:28:38 [Squeaking]
00:28:41 [Squeaking]
00:28:46 [Squeaking]
00:28:52 [Squeaking]
00:29:05 Reach more of them arms.
00:29:08 That's it.
00:29:09 Don't kick your legs so hard.
00:29:12 Can't we do this later when it's warmer?
00:29:20 We ain't got no time to lose.
00:29:22 You've got to try swimming in the water.
00:29:24 Why, anybody can swim in the water.
00:29:29 Come on, Mr. Stowe.
00:29:31 What's the stall?
00:29:32 Remember, tomorrow you swim in the ocean and not on the floor.
00:29:36 Come on, let's go.
00:29:38 Now, wait a minute.
00:29:39 Just a minute.
00:29:40 Don't rush me.
00:29:41 I've got to get myself in the proper frame of mind.
00:29:44 Come on, Mr. Joe.
00:29:47 Now, wait, Sam.
00:29:49 Come on, everything's going to be all right.
00:29:52 It's going to be cold.
00:29:54 Oh, the water's going to be cold.
00:29:56 [Splashing]
00:29:59 Oh, Sam.
00:30:08 Oh, it's cold.
00:30:13 I'm freezing.
00:30:15 My toes are frostbitten.
00:30:17 Help!
00:30:20 Help!
00:30:24 Come back here, Mr. Joe.
00:30:26 This water ain't cold.
00:30:27 And if you sit, you won't even feel it.
00:30:29 That's right.
00:30:30 I'll be numb.
00:30:32 Now, let go of my hand and swim.
00:30:34 I can't.
00:30:35 I can't.
00:30:36 I'm too unhappy.
00:30:38 Lay down.
00:30:39 Move your arms and legs like a show.
00:30:41 No.
00:30:42 No, wait.
00:30:43 Don't.
00:30:44 [Screaming]
00:30:45 Don't move your arms and legs.
00:30:47 Hurry, Mr. Joe.
00:30:48 Move your arms and legs.
00:30:50 Now, go ahead.
00:30:52 Hurry.
00:30:53 No.
00:30:54 Hurry.
00:30:55 Better.
00:30:56 Hurry.
00:30:57 No.
00:30:59 No.
00:31:00 Mr. Joe, you're so rotten.
00:31:03 [Groaning]
00:31:06 You ain't got no confidence.
00:31:16 You swim right on land.
00:31:18 But the minute you get in the water, you go to pieces.
00:31:22 If I only had something to hold me up,
00:31:25 so I wouldn't have to worry about sinking.
00:31:28 You know, Sam, once I invented a non-sinkable bathing suit.
00:31:32 Where is it now?
00:31:34 In Iowa.
00:31:36 That ain't gonna do you no good in California.
00:31:39 I can't go in that race.
00:31:41 I'll never learn to swim.
00:31:44 I'm a coward.
00:31:51 Our only hope is to sneak off this island quick.
00:31:54 You want Miss Alston to think you a quitter?
00:31:57 Ain't a beautiful lady like her worth suffering for a little?
00:32:01 I'm willing to suffer, but I'd rather line up drowning.
00:32:05 Sam, suppose--
00:32:07 Suppose I was to get hurt or sick,
00:32:10 I wouldn't have to swim tomorrow, would I?
00:32:12 That's an absolute lie there, Mr. Joe.
00:32:15 What if you didn't break your arm?
00:32:18 That would interfere with my eating.
00:32:21 Oh, hello.
00:32:23 Oh, good morning, Mr. Holt.
00:32:25 Good morning, Joe.
00:32:27 Aren't you the early bird?
00:32:32 Just looking for my worm.
00:32:34 I always swim ten miles before breakfast.
00:32:37 Are you going to start now?
00:32:39 No, I just finished.
00:32:42 Well, why don't you come aquaplaning with us?
00:32:44 I don't care for aquaplaning.
00:32:46 It's too tame.
00:32:48 Tame, huh?
00:32:49 I think you'd manage to stay awake all right.
00:32:53 You'll do 50.
00:32:55 What? Only 50?
00:32:57 Are you sure you don't want to join us?
00:33:04 No, I'd much rather go for a walk with you.
00:33:07 Well, that's a lot tamer than aquaplaning.
00:33:11 Not tamer than walking with you, Alice.
00:33:15 Why, this board is practically a raft.
00:33:19 I guess it floats all right.
00:33:22 All right for beginners, maybe.
00:33:25 A good aquaplaner certainly don't need this.
00:33:28 Well, you've got to hang on to something.
00:33:30 Oh, well, of course, if you're using the old-fashioned technique.
00:33:34 [screams]
00:33:37 [screams]
00:33:39 [screams]
00:33:57 Stop the boat!
00:34:00 Look, and he's riding it with one hand.
00:34:02 You could tell he's a real expert.
00:34:05 Mr. Dover!
00:34:07 Let me out!
00:34:12 [screams]
00:34:16 [screams]
00:34:27 [screams]
00:34:31 [screams]
00:34:33 [screams]
00:34:40 Dear Lord, I ain't disturbed you this early in the morning,
00:34:44 but if it ain't asking too much,
00:34:46 will you look down here and see what they're doing to Mr. Dover?
00:34:50 [screams]
00:34:52 [screams]
00:35:03 [screams]
00:35:11 Lord, have you any way of answering me?
00:35:15 [screams]
00:35:18 [screams]
00:35:20 Dover's fallen out of the boat!
00:35:46 [screams]
00:35:48 [screams]
00:35:58 [screams]
00:36:01 All right, champion, all right, champion!
00:36:06 [dog barks]
00:36:08 Help!
00:36:18 Help!
00:36:23 Oh, Joe's rescuing Ed!
00:36:32 [screams]
00:36:34 Goodbye, Joe!
00:36:36 Stop it, Ed!
00:36:38 I was on this before you first!
00:36:40 You're in a drowning spot, so let go of my neck!
00:36:43 Yeah, but you could... you'd swim!
00:36:46 [screams]
00:36:48 It was a very courageous rescue, don't you think so, Doctor?
00:36:51 Yes, of course, especially since Ed is a very much bigger and heavier man than Mr. Holt.
00:36:55 Well, aren't you even going to thank Joe for saving your life?
00:36:58 What are you talking about? He didn't save my life.
00:37:00 He was hanging onto that buoy when I...
00:37:02 How could you tell what was happening? You were knocked out.
00:37:04 Certainly. We saw the whole thing from the beach.
00:37:06 All right.
00:37:08 Oh, he's just ungrateful.
00:37:11 It's all in a day's work.
00:37:13 Well, I think that both boys were lucky to have come through without a scratch.
00:37:16 Just imagine if Joe had been hurt and not been able to swim in the race tomorrow.
00:37:20 It would have been a great disappointment to have the star out of the race.
00:37:23 Shucks. It would take more than a little collision to hurt a powerful fellow like me.
00:37:30 Say, I remember what...
00:37:32 No!
00:37:34 No.
00:37:35 What's the matter, Joe?
00:37:36 Are you sick?
00:37:37 Oh, my back. It's all twisted up into a knot.
00:37:40 I must have sprained it rescuing him.
00:37:42 But where does it hurt?
00:37:43 No, there. And there. And down there.
00:37:47 It feels like somebody is sticking hot needles into my kidneys.
00:37:50 I can't straighten up, Doctor.
00:37:52 Oh, you poor darling. What can it be, Doctor?
00:37:54 It may be a progressive calcification of the lenticulospial nerve causing an act of anesthesia.
00:37:58 Sure. That runs in our family.
00:38:00 And it's all that dober's fault.
00:38:02 I should have let him drown.
00:38:04 My back, my legs, my neck, my championship.
00:38:08 No, Doctor.
00:38:10 On the other hand, it may be a severe eclampsia due to a deficiency in his bariognosis.
00:38:14 My Uncle Elmer died from that in Dubuque.
00:38:17 I'm dizzy. I'm having hot flashes.
00:38:20 My head is heavy. I've got red and green specks before my eyes.
00:38:24 My ears are ringing. My liver is numb.
00:38:27 Say, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find that I'm dead.
00:38:31 Oh.
00:38:33 Oh, Doctor.
00:38:40 [Music]
00:39:03 In a few minutes, they'll be firing the starting gun.
00:39:06 And here I am, tossing on a sea of anguish.
00:39:09 Oh, it's a shame.
00:39:11 When I think of how I looked forward to swimming in that race.
00:39:14 You were sure to win.
00:39:16 I was a cinch. The long months of faithful training that I went through.
00:39:21 Oh, now, Joe, please. You mustn't brood like this.
00:39:23 Oh, I can't help it.
00:39:25 The thought that I'm just a shell of the man that I once was.
00:39:29 The disappointment is breaking my heart.
00:39:31 After all, you got hurt saving a man's life.
00:39:34 You're a hero, honey.
00:39:36 Now, come on. Sit up and have some more of this nice chicken broth.
00:39:39 I don't want any more soup.
00:39:41 I just want to swim.
00:39:44 The starting gun.
00:39:50 They're off.
00:39:51 Yes, it's just about time.
00:39:53 I can see the boys diving into the water now.
00:39:55 The thrilling, breathtaking start.
00:39:57 The excitement. The cheering of the crowds.
00:39:59 Oh, my poor dear boy.
00:40:01 They must be well past the surf by now.
00:40:04 Oh, try to think of something else, dear.
00:40:06 You're only making yourself miserable.
00:40:09 Alice!
00:40:23 My pain has suddenly left.
00:40:25 No!
00:40:26 Yes.
00:40:28 My strength is returning.
00:40:30 Look. I can sit up straight.
00:40:32 Be careful now.
00:40:33 It's almost a miracle.
00:40:35 I think I'm able to get out of bed.
00:40:37 That's very foolish, Joe.
00:40:38 Don't.
00:40:39 I'm well. Cured.
00:40:41 The pain vanished just like that.
00:40:44 Joe, please, get back into bed.
00:40:46 I can go right out there and swim now.
00:40:50 What if they have got a little start?
00:40:52 In a few minutes, I can more than make it up.
00:40:54 If you even mention anything quite so foolish, I'll never speak to you again.
00:40:57 Do you want to kill yourself?
00:41:00 Well, all right.
00:41:01 As a favor to you, I won't try to swim.
00:41:04 But I never felt better in my life.
00:41:07 Look.
00:41:09 Oh, Dad!
00:41:21 Dr. Horse Joe's well.
00:41:26 Oh, boy, I feel terrific.
00:41:28 And have I got an appetite.
00:41:30 Isn't it great? Wonderful.
00:41:32 I'm delighted.
00:41:33 It's too bad they couldn't have postponed that race a few hours.
00:41:36 Oh, no. Don't worry. I've taken care of that.
00:41:38 Huh?
00:41:40 We've persuaded the committee to postpone the race until next Saturday.
00:41:43 Oh, Dad, you're an angel.
00:41:45 You can thank the doctor.
00:41:46 The whole thing was his idea.
00:41:48 Joe and I are eternally grateful to you, aren't we?
00:41:51 You have no idea.
00:41:54 I was so confident that he'd recover within a few days
00:41:56 that I bet another $5,000 on him.
00:42:00 No!
00:42:03 Oh, Joe!
00:42:05 Oh, dear.
00:42:08 Oh, dear.
00:42:11 You see, you shouldn't have gotten up out of bed so soon.
00:42:15 You're telling me.
00:42:17 Doctor, what'll we do?
00:42:19 No!
00:42:21 Oh.
00:42:22 Oh, Joe, dear, does it hurt so much?
00:42:24 Oh, the agony is awful.
00:42:27 But I can stand it.
00:42:28 Try not to think of it, dear.
00:42:30 Just get back into bed. You'll be all right. I'm sure you will.
00:42:33 Why, you've got a whole week to get well before the race.
00:42:37 Oh!
00:42:40 Oh!
00:42:42 Oh!
00:42:44 Oh!
00:42:48 Oh!
00:42:53 Oh!
00:42:56 I'm so excited I can hardly wait for tomorrow.
00:43:06 Waiting doesn't bother me so much.
00:43:10 Listen, Alice.
00:43:13 Suppose... suppose you thought a man was a great swimmer
00:43:17 and you found out that he couldn't swim a stroke.
00:43:20 Would you care less for him?
00:43:23 I certainly would.
00:43:26 Yeah, I supposed you would.
00:43:29 What man are you supposing about?
00:43:32 Well, me, for instance.
00:43:35 How absurd.
00:43:37 Because you are a great swimmer.
00:43:39 Everybody knows that.
00:43:41 Oh, sure. Everybody knows that.
00:43:44 I guess I'm peculiar.
00:43:46 But I've always been so enthusiastic about swimming
00:43:48 that I really couldn't respect a man unless he were a great swimmer.
00:43:52 We'd have so little in common.
00:43:55 Of course. Nothing to talk about on long winter evenings.
00:44:00 You... you really care for me?
00:44:07 What do you think?
00:44:11 [music]
00:44:14 Darling, if you win that race tomorrow,
00:44:23 there's nothing that you could ask me that I wouldn't say yes to.
00:44:26 You really mean that?
00:44:27 With all my heart.
00:44:29 Yes, but... but suppose I should happen to lose.
00:44:32 What then?
00:44:33 I'd be very disappointed in you.
00:44:36 Well, then...
00:44:37 then I'll win or drown in the attempt.
00:44:40 Of course you will.
00:44:42 I've got to run along now, dear. Dad's probably looking for me.
00:44:45 I'm going to leave you my other shirt.
00:44:53 It's too big for me.
00:44:56 That's all right. You'll grow into it.
00:44:59 [knocking]
00:45:02 Say, Joe.
00:45:04 There's... there's some pest here from a bathing suit company.
00:45:08 And he wants you to wear one of their suits tomorrow.
00:45:11 Now, you don't want to be annoyed with him, do you?
00:45:13 No.
00:45:14 Well, I thought not.
00:45:17 It's some foolish, non-sinkable sort of thing that they've just put on the market.
00:45:22 Mr. Brandon.
00:45:25 Uh... what company is he from?
00:45:28 Are... are you... are you sure it's non-sinkable?
00:45:32 What does the suit look like?
00:45:34 Well, I don't know a thing about it.
00:45:35 Only that they're anxious to have you wear it for the advertising advantages.
00:45:39 I guess I might see the chap after all.
00:45:41 It might be amusing.
00:45:42 Oh, all right.
00:45:45 He'll see you now.
00:45:48 Now, in case Mr. Holt refuses to wear our suit,
00:45:51 who's next most likely to win the race?
00:45:53 Well, I should say Ed Dover, the Southern champion.
00:45:56 Ah, much obliged, Mr. Brandon.
00:45:59 Sam, you might not get that shirt after all.
00:46:04 Good morning, Mr. Holt.
00:46:06 My name is Harry... uh... uh...
00:46:10 Are you the champion swimmer?
00:46:16 Why, yes and no.
00:46:17 Where is it?
00:46:18 Where's that suit?
00:46:19 If you can swim, I can make a watch that gives milk.
00:46:22 Give me that suit.
00:46:23 It'll save my life.
00:46:25 Oh, no it won't, because you're not going to get one.
00:46:28 What do you mean?
00:46:29 I invented it.
00:46:30 Yeah, but we want this suit to be on the winner.
00:46:33 Oh, Harry, you and I have been pals for a long time.
00:46:36 You can't go back on me now.
00:46:38 It's a matter of life or death.
00:46:40 I'm not going to do any favors for a guy who tried to kick my brains out.
00:46:44 Oh, that was a mistake.
00:46:46 I apologize.
00:46:47 You couldn't hold a grudge.
00:46:49 You're too kind.
00:46:50 Everybody loves you.
00:46:52 Even I love you.
00:46:53 I'll do anything you say,
00:46:55 but I've got to have one of those suits.
00:46:58 I can't and I won't.
00:46:59 Armstrong would fire me.
00:47:01 You won't finish.
00:47:02 You probably won't even start.
00:47:04 Why, the suit would be left off the market.
00:47:06 My death will be on your conscience.
00:47:08 I'll come back and haunt you.
00:47:10 Harry, I'll give you the whole 25,000 if I win.
00:47:14 Please, please, for Old Hang's sign.
00:47:17 Oh, don't.
00:47:19 Harry, are you going to tell everybody that I'm a fake?
00:47:24 I should say not.
00:47:26 I don't want to stop you from drowning.
00:47:28 I want to help you.
00:47:30 I'm sentenced to death and you're laughing.
00:47:48 Look.
00:47:53 You got one of those.
00:47:55 Sam, how the...
00:47:56 What the...
00:47:58 You're wonderful.
00:48:00 Oh, boy.
00:48:02 If you could cook, I'd marry you.
00:48:05 Quick, fill the pool.
00:48:06 We're going to try it.
00:48:07 The pool?
00:48:08 No, the suit.
00:48:11 Quick.
00:48:14 Come on, Mr. Jones.
00:48:17 It's wet.
00:48:32 Turn off that water.
00:48:38 Turn off that water.
00:49:06 It's just...
00:49:08 Don't worry, Mr. Jones. I see you.
00:49:22 Yeah.
00:49:24 Try it.
00:49:26 Does she work?
00:49:30 Sam, she works.
00:49:32 I can't sink.
00:49:33 Sam, push me under.
00:49:36 Mr. Jones, you've done a wonderful invention.
00:49:45 It's a miracle.
00:49:47 Where did I ever get the idea that I couldn't swim?
00:49:50 I wouldn't be surprised if I'm a champion after all.
00:49:54 Oh, boy, I can swim.
00:50:00 Just keep your eye on them strokes I learned.
00:50:04 Turn on more water.
00:50:07 Whoo!
00:50:11 Okay.
00:50:13 Let's go.
00:50:15 This race is going to draw a big crowd.
00:50:17 Too bad they couldn't hold it in Madison Square Garden.
00:50:19 That place?
00:50:20 Why, say, that would be like holding a mile run in a telephone booth.
00:50:24 Even I couldn't swim in a garden.
00:50:27 All right, Joe, look this way.
00:50:29 What a...
00:50:30 Would you like to pose, Mr. Holmes, please?
00:50:31 You want an action picture?
00:50:32 Right.
00:50:33 Yes, please.
00:50:35 Thank you.
00:50:37 Thank you.
00:50:40 [door slams]
00:50:42 [door slams]
00:50:44 [door slams]
00:50:46 [door slams]
00:51:12 Dear Lord, I ain't asked you a favor in a long time,
00:51:17 so please listen while I ask you one now.
00:51:21 If it wouldn't trouble you too much,
00:51:23 kindly make the Pacific Ocean nice and warm for Mr. Joe when he swims tomorrow.
00:51:29 I would consider it a personal favor if you'd let him win,
00:51:32 but anyhow, don't let him drown,
00:51:35 'cause he's the best friend I got in the whole world.
00:51:39 [whistles]
00:51:42 [whistles]
00:51:44 And P.S., Lord, kindly keep an eye on the new bathing suit Mr. Joe's gonna wear,
00:52:00 'cause if it don't work good, he sure some.
00:52:04 Amen.
00:52:06 You said a mouthful.
00:52:10 [music]
00:52:12 Well, folks, here we are, up at the crack of dawn,
00:52:18 to see the start of the big marathon.
00:52:21 [music]
00:52:23 Joe, are you crazy?
00:52:32 Gotta keep my strength up.
00:52:34 But, man, you'll have cramps the minute you hit that water.
00:52:36 Not me.
00:52:37 Get his suit. We're late now.
00:52:39 [music]
00:52:41 Here you are.
00:52:48 Ah, the good old reliable robbers.
00:52:51 Climb into it. We're late.
00:52:53 [music]
00:52:55 Neat, but not gaudy.
00:52:58 I don't know my own strength.
00:53:00 [music]
00:53:02 Joe, come on.
00:53:05 Wait a minute. Wait till I wrap the body in a bathrobe.
00:53:08 [music]
00:53:10 Hi-ho and away to the races.
00:53:18 Bring on your ocean and I'll burn it up.
00:53:21 On the road to Manderley,
00:53:24 where us flying fishes stay.
00:53:28 [music]
00:53:31 [music]
00:53:33 Hello, Joe.
00:53:54 Hello, Joe.
00:53:55 Joe Holt, the Canadian champion, has just arrived.
00:53:58 Doug Dover, the other favorite, is already in his lane,
00:54:00 being greased for this wonderful big long-distance swimming classic.
00:54:05 Can I get a picture, Mr. Dover?
00:54:06 Go ahead.
00:54:07 Joe.
00:54:08 Thanks.
00:54:10 Hey, wait a minute. Is that necessary?
00:54:17 I'll say so. It keeps the cold out and the sharks won't see you.
00:54:21 Remind me to change my oil every 500 miles.
00:54:24 [music]
00:54:26 [laughing]
00:54:28 Damn.
00:54:29 [laughing]
00:54:30 You tickle them.
00:54:32 [laughing]
00:54:34 [laughing]
00:54:37 Good morning, Miss Brandon.
00:54:42 Hello. Where is Mr. Joe Holt?
00:54:43 Right down there.
00:54:44 Thank you.
00:54:45 Great day for the race.
00:54:46 Won't you say a few words, Mr. Brandon, please?
00:54:48 Hello, darling. Is everything all right?
00:54:50 Perfect.
00:54:51 This is so the sharks won't like the flavor.
00:54:54 And this is why I'm going to win.
00:54:56 I thought we could use you to stay there.
00:54:59 With this suit, I couldn't lose.
00:55:01 You do say the nicest thing.
00:55:04 Oh, Joe, swim as you never swam before.
00:55:07 That's the only way I can swim.
00:55:09 Come on, Joe. We have to hurry.
00:55:11 If he can't swim, why is he so darn self-confident?
00:55:14 Now, why don't you quit your worrying?
00:55:16 You're a cinch to win.
00:55:17 And I'm going to be right in this boat, right alongside of you.
00:55:21 Now, good luck, kid.
00:55:24 Good luck, my boy. And keep going.
00:55:26 Going don't worry me.
00:55:28 All I want is somebody to tell me when to stop.
00:55:30 Goodbye, darling. I'll be out on the official boat for a while.
00:55:33 I'll be on the mainland waiting for you.
00:55:35 After we get out four or five miles,
00:55:37 I'm going to get right into your rowboat with Sam and Dr. Boyd.
00:55:39 And if they get tired rowing, I'll tow you.
00:55:42 Give me that fruit, doctor.
00:55:46 [whistle]
00:55:50 There's the warning.
00:55:52 [rumbling]
00:55:54 [explosion]
00:56:04 [crowd cheering]
00:56:06 [crowd cheering]
00:56:08 [crowd cheering]
00:56:10 [crowd cheering]
00:56:28 [crowd cheering]
00:56:30 Look, Eddie, look here.
00:56:43 Do you think he's all right?
00:56:45 [water gurgling]
00:56:47 [crowd cheering]
00:57:14 [water gurgling]
00:57:16 This way, Mr. Joe, over here.
00:57:20 [water gurgling]
00:57:22 [crowd cheering]
00:57:26 Yes, but for a minute I thought the suit wasn't going to work.
00:57:29 [crowd cheering]
00:57:31 [crowd cheering]
00:57:39 [crowd cheering]
00:57:41 There's Joe.
00:57:52 Oh, he has the most marvelous form.
00:57:56 I've never seen that stroke before.
00:57:58 Hello, Joe!
00:58:06 Woo-hoo, Alice!
00:58:08 That's for you!
00:58:10 I'll see you on the mainland.
00:58:12 Come on.
00:58:13 Where's Holt?
00:58:14 Oh, what are you worrying about?
00:58:16 He can't swim.
00:58:17 How am I doing, Sam?
00:58:19 Fine.
00:58:20 Dover is far in the lead.
00:58:30 But of course, Joe Holt hasn't really warmed up yet.
00:58:33 Braes of Australia second.
00:58:37 McNutt of Ireland third.
00:58:39 And Posgudnick of Rockaway Beach is fourth.
00:58:42 How do you spell Posgudnick?
00:58:44 P-O...
00:58:46 Jones is fourth.
00:58:49 Oh, life on an ocean wave!
00:58:54 [water gurgling]
00:58:57 [seagulls squawking]
00:58:59 [seagulls squawking]
00:59:26 The race has been on five hours.
00:59:29 Dover is still in the lead.
00:59:31 Oh, life on an ocean wave!
00:59:36 Go around this log, Mr. Joe!
00:59:40 Look out for that log!
00:59:44 [water gurgling]
00:59:47 [water gurgling]
00:59:50 [water gurgling]
01:00:17 Help! Help!
01:00:19 How much farther is he?
01:00:22 Just a little more.
01:00:24 Get out!
01:00:29 I'm a German!
01:00:32 No!
01:00:33 Get out!
01:00:35 Go to a door!
01:00:38 Look at him go now!
01:00:44 [water gurgling]
01:00:46 Post overtaking everyone in the race for Dover.
01:00:59 What a burst of speed!
01:01:05 Well, that's it! Not in the way to do it!
01:01:11 [water gurgling]
01:01:13 You said he couldn't swim astir, but he's been right on my tail for hours.
01:01:22 I'm gonna break your neck!
01:01:24 Your boat's ready, Miss Brandon.
01:01:32 Thank you.
01:01:33 Joe!
01:01:34 Joe!
01:01:40 Darling, there's just a few more miles.
01:01:42 You'd better take the lead.
01:01:44 He'll think he's anchored when I really start.
01:01:47 Is the suit all right? Does it fit?
01:01:49 Sure. Perfect.
01:01:51 I was afraid I should have gotten a larger size.
01:01:54 Huh?
01:01:55 Well, don't you know you're wearing my present, silly?
01:01:58 I put it on the chair in the place of the one that you had there.
01:02:01 [screams]
01:02:02 Joe!
01:02:03 Bottom, I hear you calling him!
01:02:07 [water gurgling]
01:02:09 He didn't know about any present, Miss Alice.
01:02:16 Mr. Joe thought he had on his unsinkable suit.
01:02:19 He can't swim a lake without it.
01:02:21 Save him, Doctor! Save him! He's going to drown!
01:02:24 Here I am, Mr. Joe! Here you are!
01:02:26 [crying]
01:02:28 Save him, Doctor!
01:02:30 If he'd been down there, this ought to get him.
01:02:34 [water gurgling]
01:02:36 I sure thought I had a bite that time.
01:02:45 Don't worry, Miss Alice. Mr. Joe's got to come up three times.
01:02:52 I'll get him on one of them.
01:02:55 [water gurgling]
01:02:57 Well, I'm afraid he's gone.
01:03:23 Then Mr. Joe's breaking water like a whale.
01:03:26 [crying]
01:03:28 Joe!
01:03:29 The suit you're wearing, my present, it floats too.
01:03:34 It's the same kind as the other.
01:03:36 Well, why didn't you tell me that in the first place?
01:03:40 Dover is still in the lead, but Holt is very close behind.
01:03:48 [water gurgling]
01:03:50 Help! Shark!
01:04:17 Hey, cut it out, will you, fellas?
01:04:20 Let's talk this over.
01:04:24 Come on, Mr. Joe! Save him!
01:04:26 Holt's finally got underway.
01:04:34 What a burst of speed.
01:04:38 Swimming like a madman.
01:04:43 Well, I'll be... Can it be true, or have I got him?
01:04:47 I can't swim, huh?
01:04:52 He's headed for Red Dover now, with less than a mile to go.
01:04:58 Hey, here comes Holt!
01:05:00 All right, get back there, I'll drown you.
01:05:10 Hey, wait! Wait!
01:05:12 Go on!
01:05:13 He's turning back!
01:05:17 Can you imagine that mud trying to pass me?
01:05:27 [laughing]
01:05:28 Not a chance.
01:05:29 Why don't you hold out your hand when you're gonna stop?
01:05:41 Oh, he's ahead of Dover!
01:05:43 He's past him!
01:05:46 Stand by, folks. I'll broadcast the finish from the shore.
01:05:57 Come on, Joe!
01:06:04 Go on, Joe, now!
01:06:09 Holt has a slight lead, with but 200 yards to go.
01:06:12 Octopus freeway! Sharks!
01:06:28 The octopus is getting me!
01:06:31 Holt? Or is it Dover?
01:06:33 No, it's Holt! He's in trouble!
01:06:38 Oh, doctor!
01:06:39 [yells]
01:06:41 Holt's got a cramp! He's stuck!
01:06:44 Go ahead, feed him!
01:06:46 He's down again!
01:06:49 Hey, let's get John!
01:06:55 Go on, Joe, go on!
01:07:00 I've got no suit!
01:07:03 I... I...
01:07:05 Doctor, he's gone again!
01:07:07 [splash]
01:07:09 [splash]
01:07:10 [splash]
01:07:11 [splash]
01:07:18 [splash]
01:07:21 [splash]
01:07:29 [splash]
01:07:38 [splash]
01:07:39 [splash]
01:07:46 Looks like Dover wins!
01:07:51 Wait a minute!
01:07:59 It's Holt!
01:08:03 Look out, Joe!
01:08:06 [cheers]
01:08:08 Holt wins!
01:08:35 Hello, everybody!
01:08:37 It was a pushover!
01:08:40 I'm not even breathing hard!
01:08:43 In fact, I'm not even breathing at all!
01:08:46 How's it going, old boy?
01:08:52 Uh, he can't swim, huh?
01:08:54 [grunts]
01:09:03 Come on in, Mrs. Joe! Get hot!
01:09:06 You mean, get wet!
01:09:08 Ready?
01:09:13 That was fun, Mrs. Joe!
01:09:21 Darling, there's something I haven't told you about the race.
01:09:27 I have a confession to make.
01:09:29 Yes, sweetheart?
01:09:30 Well, now that you're such a marvelous swimmer, it really doesn't matter, but...
01:09:34 Well, the suit that you wore in the race, the one I gave you...
01:09:38 This one that I've got on?
01:09:40 I'll always wear it.
01:09:42 Well, it's not an unthinkable suit.
01:09:45 It's not...
01:09:46 Oh!
01:09:47 [screams]
01:09:49 Joe! Joe!
01:09:51 Here I come, Mrs. Joe!
01:09:56 [screams]
01:09:57 [music]
01:10:09 [BLANK_AUDIO]