Bowen Yang is a self-proclaimed stan of #ExpensiveTasteTest. But just because he's seen every episode doesn't mean he'll get all of them right when it's his turn in the hot seat. From hilariously trying to guess which hard seltzer is pricier, despite his distaste for it (warning: he thinks they were created by evil people), to comparing serum to Nickelodeon slime, watch as he decides which honey came from a bear bottle and which cookie he claims was made of Play-Doh.
Catch the season finale of 'Saturday Night Live' on NBC or stream on Peacock.
Stream 'Las Culturistas' podcast on iHeartRadio here: https://ihr.fm/3PHNR34
#BowenYang #Cosmopolitan #SaturdayNightLive
Catch the season finale of 'Saturday Night Live' on NBC or stream on Peacock.
Stream 'Las Culturistas' podcast on iHeartRadio here: https://ihr.fm/3PHNR34
#BowenYang #Cosmopolitan #SaturdayNightLive
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PeopleTranscript
00:00 Ariana Grande is very Christ-like in a way.
00:03 Hi, I'm Expensive Taste Test's biggest fan, Bowen Ying,
00:07 and I'm here to play Expensive Taste Test for the Cosmo.
00:10 This is the best series on YouTube.
00:15 I think I'll do okay,
00:17 but I think mostly we're gonna ask each other
00:20 important questions like, what is expensive?
00:24 What is taste?
00:25 And would we thrive under a price-blind society?
00:32 I'm just describing communism.
00:34 Let's go for it.
00:35 We've got two candles here.
00:44 One has an opaque glass,
00:48 and one has a not-so-opaque glass.
00:51 Mm.
00:54 This is, um, I'm gonna use the word "mellow" a lot
00:57 throughout this.
00:58 I'm gonna describe, like, a boxing glove as mellow
01:00 later on for some reason.
01:01 Um, this is beautiful, floral, very nice.
01:07 Kacey Musgraves rejected this
01:09 when she did her Boy Smells collab.
01:10 Something about the opaque glass on this
01:12 is telling me that it's expensive.
01:14 Something about the wick is not centered
01:16 at the base of this.
01:18 This tells me that it's maybe hand-poured.
01:21 Or...
01:22 You guys are really good at this.
01:25 I think this is the more expensive one.
01:27 Oh, yes! Wow.
01:33 To my mom's chagrin, I'm a big fan of candles.
01:35 She keeps telling me the soot from the wick
01:38 is gonna coat my lungs and kill me.
01:41 I think she might be right.
01:42 Do you care? No.
01:50 Here we have "I Do Think So" honeys,
01:53 and I am already really stressed out.
01:58 Let's start with this one.
01:59 God, these are so chic.
02:02 All right.
02:04 Oh, no.
02:08 Can I ask, are these the same kinds of honey?
02:10 -They're the same type of honey. -Got it.
02:12 Great, great, great. Not helpful.
02:14 I don't know why I asked.
02:17 This one is a little too loose, just like me.
02:23 Actually, this is quite elegant.
02:25 This is such a nice, thin little rivulet.
02:29 I'm sure it's expensive.
02:30 I'm sure that's what you pay for.
02:32 But let's try this one.
02:34 Oh, see, this one isn't quite as pretty.
02:36 I see the surface tension on the honey
02:39 being a little unappealing to me.
02:41 Okay, let's do a viscosity test.
02:46 This is disgusting.
02:51 Okay, I haven't done a taste test on this one.
02:54 Let's see. Okay.
02:57 Mm, no.
02:59 This one tastes like the bottle is bear-shaped.
03:04 This one...
03:08 This one is coming in a glass jar.
03:10 This one tastes fabulous.
03:12 I'm gonna go ahead and say this one is the more expensive one.
03:15 [ Ding! ]
03:18 Wow, really?
03:19 I don't think so, honey.
03:21 This honey, you taste like a goddamn bear bottle.
03:25 Just be in a glass jar like this one probably came out of.
03:28 I'm sure this one came in an actual bear bottle.
03:31 -That one came in a bear. -Oh, geez.
03:33 Well, you taste like bear bottle, bitch.
03:36 [ Vocalizing ]
03:42 Okay, here we have two gorgeous karaoke mics.
03:46 This has -- Let's see.
03:48 Welcome to use 2049 microphone, Bluetooth mode.
03:53 Oh, my God. Okay.
03:55 You have a chicly-accented Chinese woman
03:59 welcoming you to this experience.
04:02 That's cool.
04:03 Reverb. It's scrambling my brain a little bit,
04:06 but let's ignore that for now.
04:09 But...
04:12 this one, even worse.
04:14 Even worse than a reverb delay.
04:16 This is really tough.
04:18 There was no chic Chinese woman welcoming me to this experience.
04:22 And therefore, I'm gonna say...
04:24 [ Ding! ]
04:27 Too much.
04:28 This one's the more expensive one.
04:29 [ Ding! ]
04:32 Yes!
04:33 Obviously, when working with Ariana Grande...
04:35 -Yes. -...do you guys ever karaoke together?
04:37 I have not had the opportunity to karaoke with Ariana yet.
04:41 You know what Ariana's good at?
04:42 If she's in mixed company, she will do, like, normal singing
04:47 so as to not showboat and make anyone in the room
04:50 feel bad about having a disgusting,
04:54 normal timbre of voice.
04:55 She's gonna come down to Earth with us,
04:57 very Christ-like in a way.
04:59 Ariana Grande is like Jesus Christ.
05:01 [ Vocalizing ]
05:06 We've got hard seltzers.
05:08 This is the creation of evil people.
05:11 You have fallen for their grift
05:14 if you buy this for your own home.
05:17 Let's look at color first.
05:19 This one has a little bit of, like, an ochre to it.
05:23 ♪♪
05:26 Mm, really sharp.
05:27 This is gonna be gross, but I'm gonna do this.
05:29 [ Laughs ]
05:32 And it hits you immediately.
05:33 Like, it's not even -- it's not even traveling
05:35 to the back of my taste buds.
05:37 Disgusting.
05:38 But it's such a low bar with hard seltzers.
05:40 Let's taste this one.
05:43 Mellow. It's this one.
05:45 This one's the more expensive one.
05:46 ♪♪
05:48 [ Buzzer ]
05:50 Well, good thing I never have to drink these
05:52 ever again in my sorry life.
05:56 ♪♪
06:01 Here we have lipstick.
06:04 Oh! That's funky.
06:07 This is an iceberg blue lipstick.
06:10 Perfect for if you're doing a Titanic party
06:14 and if you just need that final touch
06:16 of being frozen to death.
06:18 This is perfect.
06:19 Let's do a little swatch test.
06:21 Okay, this is one hand puppet with one.
06:24 And then here we have --
06:26 Oh! Different form factor.
06:28 We've got a dome on this.
06:29 This one has some shimmer to it.
06:31 You're not getting as precise of an application, though.
06:34 You've got blurred edges.
06:36 This is hard to say.
06:37 I mean, the shimmer on this is very, very apparent.
06:41 It could elevate the experience and the price,
06:45 or it could really cheapen it.
06:46 This feels like a more generic packaging to me.
06:50 And then this feels like, yeah,
06:51 something a little bit more like it could be anything.
06:54 I'm gonna go ahead and say this is the more expensive one.
06:57 [ Ding! ]
06:59 Oh! Thank goodness.
07:01 Wow.
07:02 When you are finally embodying the iceberg,
07:05 how do you know you nailed it?
07:06 I know that it was a good thing, it was a good piece,
07:10 if I run to my dresser,
07:12 who is, like, waiting for me in the wings,
07:14 if they're like, "That was great."
07:15 If they give you the thumbs up, that's a good sign.
07:17 That's a bad sign.
07:18 If they don't say anything, if they're just like,
07:20 "Okay. All right. That was --"
07:24 Like, if they give you nothing,
07:26 then that means you biffed up.
07:29 ♪♪
07:34 Okay, we've got big, big, big palm-sized
07:38 chocolate chip cookies.
07:40 Little flakes of salt on this.
07:41 The chips are well-integrated.
07:44 There's a nice sort of crusty texture to this.
07:48 Brittle in a way that makes me feel like
07:50 this was carefully made dough.
07:53 This is what they use to make
07:58 Play Place foam blocks out of.
08:00 Chips are kind of cartoonish.
08:04 Cartoonishly brown, cartoonishly, like,
08:06 molded out of room-temperature Play-Doh
08:09 and presented to me.
08:10 And then this was actually in an oven.
08:13 But let's taste them.
08:15 ♪♪
08:18 Really upsetting.
08:19 This is for, like, if you just had a tonsillectomy
08:22 and you can't chew food.
08:24 And this is a little hard to break off.
08:27 That's concerning.
08:29 Hmm.
08:32 These are on such opposite ends of the spectrum,
08:34 it could really go either way,
08:36 but I'm gonna say that this is the more expensive one.
08:40 Yay!
08:42 When I get my tonsils removed at the age of 45 or whatever,
08:46 I'm gonna eat these.
08:47 But for now, this.
08:50 ♪♪
08:56 Oh, great.
08:57 Okay, so we have some wire-rimmed glasses.
09:01 Very in right now.
09:04 Some very professorial glasses.
09:06 I like the shape of this.
09:07 I like this trend of frame right now,
09:11 where there's just a little bit of a round, soft edge
09:14 here and here.
09:15 There's that.
09:16 These are some classic aviators.
09:20 Faux aviators, faviators.
09:23 What makes an aviator?
09:25 Don't know.
09:26 This is chic.
09:27 I like our little pads here.
09:29 Nice finishes on the legs.
09:33 Got a big skull, so this is gonna look really silly
09:38 and narrow on me.
09:39 There's those.
09:40 I can't see, so can we nod emphatically
09:42 or shake our heads no if this is good?
09:44 Okay.
09:45 Okay, yes!
09:46 Cheers, okay.
09:47 And then, let's do these.
09:51 Okay, I'm getting this.
09:53 I'm squinting.
09:55 I'm gonna say this feels like a really unique,
10:00 subtle shift in classic aviator vocabulary.
10:04 I'm gonna say these are the more expensive ones.
10:06 ♪♪
10:08 Ah!
10:10 I know my glasses.
10:11 I know my glasses.
10:12 My relationship with Iowa is deeply inspired
10:14 by Elton John.
10:15 There's a core memory of me watching
10:17 a concert special of him.
10:19 He reveals his suitcase of glasses.
10:23 And my first thought was,
10:24 "I wanna be that when I grow up."
10:25 I'm not quite there yet, but someday.
10:28 ♪♪
10:33 Here we have what could be a serum, an essence,
10:37 tinctures, like, let's just narrow down the terminology.
10:42 Okay, market?
10:44 Here we have a key lime pie color bottle.
10:49 Really interesting.
10:51 Ew!
10:53 What the heck?
10:56 No way, why would you put this on your skin?
10:58 What is this?
11:00 Are we at the Kids' Choice Awards?
11:02 This is so gross!
11:04 This isn't taking at all!
11:06 Okay, there's that I don't love.
11:08 This, let's pray to God, is anything better
11:14 than a water bottle.
11:15 Let's see.
11:16 Less viscous than water.
11:19 Like, water is thicker than meth.
11:21 Which tells me maybe it's, like, a hyaluronic thing.
11:24 Maybe they, like, really lock this away in the pharmacy.
11:28 Shit, I'm gonna say...
11:30 Okay, but first of all, can we--
11:38 [laughing]
11:40 The pump has a spring mechanic to it
11:42 that is an extra part.
11:44 Let's say this is the more expensive one.
11:46 Damn it!
11:50 15.
11:53 And then how much is this?
11:56 Ay-yi-yi.
12:00 Five out of eight, I can't do the math,
12:02 but that is, I think, either a D plus or a C minus.
12:06 Thank you so much for watching.
12:08 If you want to know more about me,
12:11 watch SNL on Saturdays
12:14 and listen to Las Culturistas podcast
12:17 and keep watching Expensive Taste Test on Cosmo
12:22 because it is the best thing the internet has produced
12:24 in the last 50 years.
12:27 [upbeat music]
12:30 ♪ ♪
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12:40 ♪ ♪