The Entertainer
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00 [crowd noise]
00:00:10 [car horn]
00:00:11 [crowd noise]
00:00:37 [crowd noise]
00:00:57 [music]
00:01:22 [singing]
00:01:41 [clapping]
00:01:44 [singing]
00:02:10 [music]
00:02:17 You haven't seen him on the TV, have you?
00:02:19 What's that love?
00:02:20 I say I've not seen him on the Jolly Virgin.
00:02:22 Who?
00:02:23 Actually, Rye.
00:02:24 Oh, come on. It's only a lot of daft girls stalling about with nothing on.
00:02:27 Come on, father.
00:02:29 It's just daft.
00:02:31 Will you come on when I tell you? I'm not going to speak to you again.
00:02:33 He's never been on TV.
00:02:35 [music]
00:02:52 Grandad!
00:02:53 Oh, that and a good show. Mired in.
00:02:56 Grandad! Grandad!
00:02:59 Grandma?
00:03:01 Hello, Grandad.
00:03:02 Gee, I wonder who it was.
00:03:04 Oh, I'm sorry if I startled you.
00:03:06 I didn't know who the hell it was. I was miles away.
00:03:09 Oh, it's good to see you.
00:03:10 It's good to see you, my darling. Give your grandfather a kiss.
00:03:14 Here, girl, give me your case.
00:03:15 Oh, no, it's all right.
00:03:16 Give me your case and hold your bloody noise.
00:03:19 Your stepmother's in one of her moods, so I came out.
00:03:22 I can't stand rows with Phoebe, not anymore, so I come and sit on the pier.
00:03:27 Albert, take care of this case for me, will you?
00:03:31 This is my granddaughter.
00:03:32 Oh, yes, he told me all about you.
00:03:34 It's good to see you, Dad.
00:03:38 Thank you.
00:03:39 Here you are.
00:03:40 Come on.
00:03:43 Who's that, Albert?
00:03:44 She rises for me.
00:03:45 Oh, aye.
00:03:46 It's good to see you, Gee.
00:03:48 How long are you going to stay?
00:03:49 Just a few days, I suppose.
00:03:52 Have you heard from young Mick?
00:03:54 Yes, he's fine. He's a good boy. He'll be all right.
00:03:57 But it's a nasty business to get mixed up with all those people out there in Egypt and God knows where else.
00:04:03 They seem to be able to do what they like to us nowadays.
00:04:06 I went to the rally in Trafalgar Square last Sunday.
00:04:09 What for, for God's sake?
00:04:11 Oh, I don't know.
00:04:12 Seemed to have got myself steamed up about a lot of things lately.
00:04:15 Well, I should think you want to have your bloody head read.
00:04:18 Yes, that's more or less what Graham has said.
00:04:21 Graham?
00:04:22 My fiancé.
00:04:27 Can we go now, Miss?
00:04:28 Yes, all right.
00:04:29 Er, paints and brushes on this table and paintings over here.
00:04:34 Danish?
00:04:38 [music]
00:04:59 Danish?
00:05:04 Don't you want to go and dance?
00:05:07 You don't have to go if you don't want to.
00:05:11 [music]
00:05:35 Good night.
00:05:36 [music]
00:05:45 Giddy up! Watch out where you're going!
00:05:48 You know my leg.
00:05:50 [whistles]
00:05:51 You know his train doesn't leave for an hour.
00:05:54 You making a lot of noise.
00:05:56 Well, my little social worker.
00:05:59 What was it tonight? The bicycle chain ball or the thick knife? Excuse me.
00:06:03 [music]
00:06:05 Cheer up.
00:06:06 Can't let you see the little soldier brother off to the wars with a long face like that.
00:06:09 No, I should look pleased about it, shouldn't I?
00:06:12 [music]
00:06:27 Jean, I don't know how you think you could ever make anything out of those monsters.
00:06:30 You're crazy.
00:06:31 Oh, darling, don't let's do this again.
00:06:33 I'm sorry. It's time you faced up to the fact.
00:06:35 You are never going to do anything with those sort of people.
00:06:38 Don't talk to me about those sort of people.
00:06:41 Anyway, if it weren't for your sort of people still hanging on to their livings in other people's countries, my brother wouldn't be going off to fight.
00:06:50 Telegram came at breakfast.
00:06:52 Why didn't they wait till February? You'd have been out by then.
00:06:55 Oh, I don't know. I'm thinking of signing on.
00:06:58 Signing on?
00:06:59 Yeah.
00:07:00 Well, up the flag, Mick.
00:07:03 Here's to you, Mick. And let's hope it's a false alarm.
00:07:06 Thank you.
00:07:07 You leaving tonight?
00:07:10 No, they're flying us out in the morning.
00:07:12 Well, it's nice of you both to come and see me off.
00:07:18 Off to defend the empire, you must be.
00:07:20 My queen and country need me.
00:07:22 I wish I could think it was funny.
00:07:24 Ah, Jean, give him a break. He'll be all right.
00:07:28 Jean's always taken everything seriously, haven't you, love?
00:07:31 I've always taken it as it comes, but not Jeannie.
00:07:33 Cheer up, love. Life in here's better than all that, and even if it is, there's nothing we can do about it.
00:07:41 I must be off.
00:07:44 Huh?
00:07:45 Come on.
00:07:47 Well, that means cleaning for a start.
00:07:49 Nah.
00:07:50 I'll do it, you take it.
00:07:51 Oh, good lad. Come on.
00:07:54 (POLICE SIRENS)
00:07:56 Ah, don't come any further. There's my mob there.
00:08:05 OK.
00:08:06 Goodbye, love.
00:08:07 Bye, Mick. Stick in the back row if there's any shooting.
00:08:10 You bet. Go up and see Phoebe and the old boy sometime, will you?
00:08:13 Yes, I'm going to.
00:08:14 Will do. Goodbye, Graham.
00:08:15 Goodbye, Mick. Good luck.
00:08:16 Ty, are you two getting married?
00:08:17 Well, ask her.
00:08:18 We'll make her. It's what Jean needs.
00:08:21 I'll bring you back a fuzzy wuzzy for your wedding present.
00:08:23 You can hang it on the nursery wall and frighten the kids with it.
00:08:25 Bye.
00:08:26 Bye-bye.
00:08:27 Let's go.
00:08:31 Do you want to eat somewhere?
00:08:35 No, thanks.
00:08:36 I might cheer you up. Something to eat? Bottle of wine?
00:08:38 I don't want to be cheered up. I want to go home.
00:08:40 All right.
00:08:41 I don't want to come.
00:08:49 What about the landlady?
00:08:51 We'll beat her up.
00:08:53 Well, I've been longing to tell you about it all day.
00:09:09 They want a decision pretty soon.
00:09:11 Why Africa?
00:09:13 Well, the firm's expanding out there.
00:09:16 You know, young men, big opportunities, all that kind of thing.
00:09:18 Do you want to go?
00:09:20 Yes.
00:09:21 Yes, I do. I've thought about it a lot.
00:09:23 Would you get married next month?
00:09:26 Supposing I don't want to go, Graeme?
00:09:29 Would you go just the same?
00:09:32 That's a fair question.
00:09:34 No, but I'm asking it.
00:09:36 Well, if we were married, I think it would change your mind.
00:09:38 Well, what if I didn't?
00:09:39 Why do you want to go?
00:09:43 I've told you.
00:09:44 Oh, yes. Big opportunities. Big deals.
00:09:46 Jean, you love me, don't you?
00:09:48 Yes.
00:09:49 And you still want to marry me?
00:09:50 Of course.
00:09:51 Well, then what are we on?
00:09:52 I don't understand you.
00:09:54 There's nothing to keep you here.
00:09:57 Nothing.
00:09:59 Nothing but a bunch of teddy boys who ought to be put in jail by David Locke.
00:10:02 Oh, Graeme.
00:10:03 And don't pretend to me that you can't leave that deadbeat family of yours.
00:10:06 Oh, Graeme, can't you try and understand?
00:10:08 This job means something to me.
00:10:10 Thank you.
00:10:13 I've never been good enough to pay it myself.
00:10:15 But I think this is something I really can do.
00:10:17 Oh, maybe the first term has been held, but I'm not going to give up that easily.
00:10:22 There's nothing to keep us here.
00:10:24 You never stop telling me that everything about this country is dead.
00:10:27 Well, I agree it's dead.
00:10:29 This will be a wonderful chance for us to get out of it.
00:10:44 I'm sorry.
00:10:45 I'm so tired.
00:10:51 I'm sorry.
00:10:54 Don't be.
00:10:56 Take me to bed.
00:11:13 I'm all right, Grandad.
00:11:14 I feel better now I've talked a lot.
00:11:17 You always liked coming to see me, didn't you?
00:11:20 You were a pretty little thing.
00:11:22 Not that looks are everything, not even for a woman.
00:11:24 You don't look at the mantelpiece when you poke the fire.
00:11:27 I'll say this, Ferracci, you always saw that you were nicely turned out.
00:11:32 He was a smart little boy himself.
00:11:34 Used to dress them in sailor suits then.
00:11:38 Funny, how they all turn out.
00:11:42 How is Dad?
00:11:43 He's a fool.
00:11:44 Trying to raise money for another show when he hasn't enough to keep this one running.
00:11:48 Well, what's this one like?
00:11:49 I don't know. I haven't seen it. I wouldn't.
00:11:52 They don't want human beings anymore.
00:11:55 Well, you're a lovely lot tonight. Really lovely lot tonight.
00:11:58 I've played in front of them all, you know.
00:12:00 Yes, I've played in front of them all.
00:12:01 The Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales and...
00:12:05 What's the name of that other pub?
00:12:07 Oh, blimey, that went better first house.
00:12:10 Hey, what about these crooners? Hey, what about these crooners?
00:12:13 I don't know what they're coming to. Honest, I don't.
00:12:15 Look at the stuff they sing. Look at the songs they sing.
00:12:17 The dark town strutters' ball, the Basin Street ball, the woodchoppers' ball.
00:12:22 It's a lot of rubbish, isn't it?
00:12:25 He's a bit interested, isn't he?
00:12:28 Well, now I'm going to sing you a little song.
00:12:30 A little song written by Rimsky-Nastykov.
00:12:34 A little song entitled "The old church bell won't ring tonight as the vicar's got the clamp."
00:12:39 [audience laughter]
00:12:41 Hide your face, ma'am, the girls have got me.
00:12:48 I shall be home for an hour or two. I've got all sorts of nice things to do.
00:12:52 They've got me whacked up in such a state, sir. Hide your face, ma'am, 'cause I can't hardly wait.
00:12:59 So hide your face, ma'am, the girls have got me.
00:13:03 The girls, the glamorous, gorgeous girls have got me.
00:13:08 All right, Vicky?
00:13:09 Take her up.
00:13:13 Gee!
00:13:15 Hello, Frank.
00:13:16 Nice to see you, love.
00:13:17 Got all of her?
00:13:19 Sort of. I just seen Grandad. He's gone on home.
00:13:21 Hey, Dad's on, as you may possibly have guessed.
00:13:24 He'll be off in a minute, I hope.
00:13:26 Okay.
00:13:27 I bet it's when she's gone and left me, that I start to say goodnight.
00:13:35 [music]
00:13:38 [music]
00:13:40 [music]
00:13:42 (upbeat music)
00:13:44 (upbeat music)
00:13:47 (upbeat music)
00:13:49 (upbeat music)
00:13:52 (upbeat music)
00:13:54 (upbeat music)
00:13:57 (upbeat music)
00:14:01 (upbeat music)
00:14:03 (upbeat music)
00:14:06 (upbeat music)
00:14:08 (upbeat music)
00:14:11 (audience applauding)
00:14:14 - Drop me on the way, it's not my...
00:14:16 What's the matter?
00:14:17 - Hey, look who's here.
00:14:18 - Oh, hello dear.
00:14:20 Oh, this is nice.
00:14:21 I didn't see you standing there.
00:14:22 I've got my glasses on.
00:14:23 - I know you thought that was him.
00:14:24 - Hey, Dad, Dad.
00:14:25 - Hey, Dad, Dad.
00:14:26 - All right, are you?
00:14:27 - Yes, fine.
00:14:28 (upbeat music)
00:14:30 (singing in foreign language)
00:14:53 (audience applauding)
00:14:56 (upbeat music)
00:15:08 - How's it going?
00:15:09 - Oh, first house about 60 saddle of grouse in
00:15:11 and tonight about 200 saddle of grouse.
00:15:13 - Excuse me.
00:15:15 - I'm not Frank.
00:15:16 - Fine to see you.
00:15:17 - You go on, I'll be leaving.
00:15:20 - You'll leave by a very reluctant agreement
00:15:22 to about 20 rather angry people.
00:15:24 Hey, have you been home, love?
00:15:25 - Well, no, not yet.
00:15:27 I suppose I ought to have warned people.
00:15:29 - Oh, not to worry.
00:15:30 You can have Mick's room, all right?
00:15:31 - Oh, it's Mick.
00:15:32 Have you heard from him?
00:15:33 - Yes, yes, I've got a couple of letters.
00:15:34 He's just sitting in the middle of the desert,
00:15:36 twiddling his thumbs.
00:15:37 It's hot, he says.
00:15:38 Not one for subtle detail, old Mick.
00:15:39 - Hey, kids say if they don't get their back salary,
00:15:42 they're going to quit.
00:15:43 - Oh, well, that's...
00:15:43 Hey, Frank, pop around the corner, get a couple of bottles.
00:15:45 One gin, one giubonni.
00:15:47 I'm going to have a celebration.
00:15:48 - What you got to celebrate?
00:15:49 - My 20th anniversary.
00:15:50 - What of?
00:15:50 - Not paying income tax.
00:15:51 You go with him, love.
00:15:52 See he doesn't forget the change.
00:15:53 - Okay.
00:15:54 - I'll meet you all at Buckingham Palace.
00:15:55 I've got a couple of people to see.
00:15:56 - Good night.
00:15:57 - Good night, Frank.
00:16:00 (whistles)
00:16:02 (dramatic music)
00:16:10 (dramatic music)
00:16:13 - Good evening.
00:16:30 - You better get some lolly for her tonight.
00:16:32 You've had it, she is your week.
00:16:33 - I'm all right.
00:16:34 - Oh, it's not so hot.
00:16:38 - Oh, what was...
00:16:40 - I don't think I've better, have I?
00:16:44 - Well?
00:16:47 - Listen, guys, I've just been fighting with this, see?
00:16:49 I've got to listen to the news, don't you?
00:16:50 - That's a good one.
00:16:51 - No, no, no, I'm kidding, honestly.
00:16:52 - I'm not leaving this theatre tonight without it.
00:16:54 - Oh, please, baby, pop it up.
00:16:56 - There'll be another program in this series
00:17:00 at the same time next week.
00:17:02 The 11 o'clock news summary follows almost at once.
00:17:07 (beeping)
00:17:09 This is the BBC Home Service.
00:17:14 Here is the summary of the news.
00:17:16 First of all, Suez.
00:17:18 A number of British paratroopers are reported
00:17:20 to have been overrun and captured in a forward position.
00:17:23 Names will be withheld at the War Office
00:17:26 until the next of kin have been informed.
00:17:28 The House of Commons is debating the situation
00:17:30 in the Middle East tomorrow at the request
00:17:32 of the opposition.
00:17:33 Latest reports from the area were considered
00:17:35 at a cabinet meeting this afternoon.
00:17:37 - Oh, this is nice.
00:17:39 What a shame.
00:17:40 If only I'd known I could have been back earlier.
00:17:43 But I stayed and saw a bit of the big picture round again.
00:17:46 - Oh, what was it like?
00:17:46 - Oh, wasn't up to much.
00:17:48 They're showing a lot of rubbish
00:17:49 under the picture house these days.
00:17:51 I hear they're going to close that place down, by the way.
00:17:53 Everything's doing badly.
00:17:55 That's what worries Archie.
00:17:56 - Good night, Ma.
00:17:57 - Good night, dear.
00:17:58 - See you in the morning, Gina.
00:17:59 - Where are you off to?
00:18:00 - Oh, he's got an extra job.
00:18:01 He's playing the piano in one of these
00:18:03 late night drinking places
00:18:05 in the Winter Gardens organ on Sundays.
00:18:07 Oh, it is lovely to see her, isn't it, Dad?
00:18:09 He's pleased.
00:18:11 He doesn't have anyone very much to talk to, do you?
00:18:13 Well, it's not my fault.
00:18:14 He won't come to the pictures with me.
00:18:16 He likes to listen to a play on the wireless sometimes.
00:18:19 You like a nice play?
00:18:21 - Yes.
00:18:22 - Well, I can't sit for long.
00:18:23 I'd rather have a spot of pictures.
00:18:23 - I'm all right.
00:18:24 - Oh, I'm a woman's now, did I tell you?
00:18:26 I'm on the electrical counter.
00:18:28 Not bad.
00:18:29 Girls are a bit common, that's all.
00:18:31 Oh, it is nice to see you.
00:18:33 - Oh, she says you've had a letter from me.
00:18:35 - Yes, he's out there.
00:18:37 Jean, you think he's going to be all right, don't you?
00:18:39 I don't know why they send these boys out to do the fighting.
00:18:42 They're just kids, that's all.
00:18:44 That's all he is, a kid.
00:18:46 I mean, they do look after them, don't they?
00:18:49 - Oh, yes, they look after them all right.
00:18:51 (laughs)
00:18:52 - Look after them better now than they did when I was in it.
00:18:55 The Dardenelles.
00:18:56 I went through that without a scratch.
00:18:59 Not a scratch on me.
00:19:00 - Hiya.
00:19:01 - Hello, Dad.
00:19:02 - I just been talking to my colored friend on the stairs.
00:19:05 - He's a student.
00:19:06 - No, he's not.
00:19:07 He's a ballet dancer.
00:19:07 - Is he?
00:19:08 He's a big fellow.
00:19:10 - (laughs)
00:19:11 He's playing the Winter Gardens for a fortnight.
00:19:12 - A ballet dancer?
00:19:13 - Yes, he tells me if you drop your hat outside there now,
00:19:16 you have to kick it all the way down to the promenade
00:19:17 before you dare to get up.
00:19:18 - Woo!
00:19:19 - There's a telegram come for you.
00:19:20 - Don't you think she's looking a bit peaky?
00:19:22 - Looks all right to me.
00:19:23 Needs a drink, that's all.
00:19:23 - There's a telegram come for you.
00:19:25 - Yeah, well, it's probably just from one of my creditors,
00:19:27 you see.
00:19:28 Oh, good girl, Jean.
00:19:29 You remembered Phoebus DuBonny.
00:19:30 She likes that, don't you, dear?
00:19:32 She thinks she's being awfully you
00:19:33 when she drinks that, don't you?
00:19:35 - (laughs)
00:19:36 Well, I like it.
00:19:37 It seems to suit me.
00:19:38 But what's all this for?
00:19:40 Was it all right at the theater?
00:19:41 - Oh, it was not all right at the theater.
00:19:43 - Oh, what?
00:19:44 - Now, have your DuBonny, dear.
00:19:45 Don't get all emotional, Jean.
00:19:46 That's yours.
00:19:47 Billy, wake up!
00:19:48 - I am awake.
00:19:49 - Well, stop yelling, then.
00:19:50 You sound like a television commercial.
00:19:51 Here's a drink for you.
00:19:52 - I don't want a bloody drink.
00:19:53 - Yes, you do.
00:19:54 Now, don't argue and drink up.
00:19:55 I'm having a little celebration.
00:19:57 - Celebration?
00:19:58 What have you got to celebrate about?
00:19:59 - Oh, dear.
00:20:00 - You haven't got a thing you can call your own.
00:20:02 And as sure as God made little apples,
00:20:04 I lay a sovereign to a penny piece,
00:20:05 you'll end up in the bankruptcy court before Christmas.
00:20:08 And you'll be lucky if you don't end up in jail as well.
00:20:10 - Oh, get him to go to bed, Arch.
00:20:12 He's overtired.
00:20:13 - Go to bed.
00:20:13 You're overtired.
00:20:14 - I'm not overtired.
00:20:16 I don't relish the idea of a jailbird in the family.
00:20:19 - Oh, shut up, Dad.
00:20:20 You've had too much to drink.
00:20:22 - I used to have half a bottle
00:20:23 of three-star brandy for breakfast.
00:20:25 - Yes, and a pound of steak
00:20:26 and a couple of chorus girls
00:20:27 who'd tell her the whole story at the drop of a hat.
00:20:29 - I leave chorus girls to you.
00:20:31 Do you know what James Agrid said about me?
00:20:33 - Oh, yes.
00:20:34 That you and Mrs. Pat Campbell
00:20:35 were his two favorite female impersonators.
00:20:37 - You know bloody well what he said.
00:20:39 - Dad, Dad, Dad.
00:20:40 We all know what he said,
00:20:41 and every word of it was true.
00:20:43 - Your daughter went to that Trafalgar Square circus
00:20:51 last Sunday, if you please.
00:20:53 - No, did you really?
00:20:54 - Are you one of those who don't like the Prime Minister?
00:20:56 I think I've grown rather fond of him.
00:20:58 Does he bring you out in spots?
00:21:00 - Oh, God, I wish I knew what was going to happen.
00:21:01 - You know, I feel like that
00:21:02 about that horrible dog downstairs.
00:21:04 He brings me out in a rash every time I look at him.
00:21:06 - Well, what is going to happen?
00:21:07 - There are three things do that to me.
00:21:08 Three things.
00:21:09 Nuns, clergymen, and dogs.
00:21:11 - Well, I don't want to always have to work.
00:21:14 I mean, you want a bit of life before it's all over.
00:21:17 Takes all the guilt off.
00:21:18 If you know you've got to go on and on
00:21:19 until they carry you out in a box.
00:21:21 - Did I tell you my nun was--
00:21:22 - Oh, it's all right for him, he's all right.
00:21:24 He still has his women.
00:21:26 Well, it lasts anyway.
00:21:28 But I don't want to end up being laid out by some stranger
00:21:32 in some rotten, stinking little street in Gateshead
00:21:35 or West Hartlepool or another of those dead or alive bulls.
00:21:38 - Phoebe, don't exert yourself.
00:21:41 Let's enjoy ourselves.
00:21:43 - You think I don't want to enjoy myself?
00:21:45 (sobbing)
00:21:51 - I wish women wouldn't cry.
00:21:53 I wish they wouldn't.
00:21:55 Try and say something to her, Jean.
00:21:57 - Why don't you?
00:21:58 - I wish I could.
00:22:00 I only wish I could.
00:22:01 - Phoebe.
00:22:04 Phoebe, dear, would you like to go to bed?
00:22:07 (sobbing)
00:22:09 - Yes, I think I will if you don't mind, dear.
00:22:14 I think perhaps I've overdone it a bit.
00:22:16 I never could stand too much excitement.
00:22:19 And I think I'm worrying about young Mick underneath.
00:22:23 I keep thinking about all that fighting.
00:22:26 - Try and get some sleep, love.
00:22:27 You'll feel better when you wake up.
00:22:29 - Yes, yes, dear.
00:22:30 Oh, would you come and say goodnight to me, Archie?
00:22:34 - Yes, I'm just finishing my little celebration, remember?
00:22:37 - He's funny.
00:22:40 - Goodnight, son.
00:22:41 - Goodnight.
00:22:42 - Goodnight, love. - Goodnight, Jean.
00:22:43 - Goodnight, Grandad.
00:22:43 - It was good seeing you.
00:22:45 We'll have a good talk tomorrow.
00:22:46 - Yes, we will.
00:22:47 (gentle music)
00:22:50 - Dad.
00:22:57 - Yeah?
00:22:59 - You're keeping something to yourself.
00:23:01 - We never miss a trick, do you?
00:23:06 - What is it?
00:23:06 - Mick's been taken prisoner.
00:23:10 No point in breaking it tonight.
00:23:13 (gentle music)
00:23:16 - I think I'd like some of that.
00:23:21 - Yeah.
00:23:21 Well, we'll drink to Mick.
00:23:24 Let's hope to God he manages, eh?
00:23:27 Mick and the income tax amount.
00:23:42 With you, it's prime ministers.
00:23:44 With me, it's dogs.
00:23:45 Nuns, clergymen, and dogs.
00:23:49 Hey, did I ever tell you
00:23:54 the greatest compliment I ever had paid me, eh?
00:23:59 I was walking along the promenade somewhere.
00:24:04 I think it must have been here, actually, one day.
00:24:07 25 years ago.
00:24:12 I was quite a young man.
00:24:13 There I was, walking along the promenade
00:24:17 to meet what I think we used to call a piece of crackling.
00:24:21 When two nuns came toward me.
00:24:30 Two nuns.
00:24:36 (gentle music)
00:24:39 (clock ticking)
00:24:42 Talk to me.
00:24:51 (woman screaming)
00:24:59 - Get down, get down, get down, get down!
00:25:07 (bell ringing)
00:25:10 (children screaming)
00:25:14 (children screaming)
00:25:43 - Jean.
00:25:44 - As a nephew, Fresh.
00:25:45 It's just the same description as we heard on the news.
00:25:48 - Oh, dear.
00:25:48 - To hear that wireless,
00:25:49 you'd think that some of those rogues
00:25:51 that get up in Parliament
00:25:52 were glad our boys were taking prisoners.
00:25:54 Their own country always in the wrong
00:25:55 and the other lot's always right.
00:25:56 - Oh, shut up, Dad.
00:25:57 We're worried enough as it is without politics.
00:26:00 - It says here, Lieutenant Pearson of Leicester,
00:26:02 who had been with Sergeant Rice
00:26:04 until a few minutes before he was captured,
00:26:06 said he must have killed at least seven of the attackers
00:26:09 before he was overwhelmed.
00:26:10 He must have run out of ammunition, said Pearson.
00:26:13 - Young Rice wasn't the type to give up--
00:26:14 - Oh, don't go on, Jean.
00:26:15 I just can't bear to think about it.
00:26:17 Oh, I fried these up for your breakfast.
00:26:25 They don't look very nice, do they?
00:26:27 I'm sorry.
00:26:27 - Oh, never mind, Phoebe.
00:26:28 I'm not really hungry, thanks.
00:26:30 - Where's Frank?
00:26:31 - Oh, he went to the theater for something.
00:26:32 Said he wouldn't be in for breakfast.
00:26:34 (phone ringing)
00:26:37 Where's Dad?
00:26:38 - Oh, he went out early.
00:26:39 He had a telephone call from the town hall.
00:26:41 Sit down.
00:26:42 - Oh, thanks, Gran, I've lost it.
00:26:43 - It's about the bathing beauty competition.
00:26:46 (laughs)
00:26:47 You'll be in his element.
00:26:48 Bathing beauties?
00:26:49 It isn't as if they've got the figures nowadays.
00:26:51 They're all skin and bone.
00:26:53 - What's he going to do after this?
00:26:55 Is he really trying to put on another show?
00:26:57 - I don't know how, after that last business,
00:26:59 he's still an undischarged bankrupt.
00:27:01 - But you knew that, dear, didn't you?
00:27:03 I have to sign everything for him.
00:27:05 Checks, the lot, he can't get any credit.
00:27:07 Still, Archie could always twist me
00:27:09 around his little finger.
00:27:11 - He won't listen to me.
00:27:12 He spends half his time in that rocklet.
00:27:14 - The what?
00:27:15 - That damned meat market by the clock tower.
00:27:17 (audience laughing)
00:27:18 - How'd you happen to know that?
00:27:19 - Well, I come to Maine, come back 20 years ago.
00:27:22 Pure bad luck, that's all.
00:27:23 I was trapped in a hospital with a couple of hernia.
00:27:25 (audience laughing)
00:27:26 Very nasty, it was, too.
00:27:27 Terribly complicated.
00:27:28 I even thought all my plans for the future
00:27:30 were going to be finished at one point.
00:27:31 (audience laughing)
00:27:32 That's another story I'll tell you sometime.
00:27:34 There I was, there I was, lying on my back,
00:27:38 wondering whether a draft pass on its own
00:27:40 was enough to make life worth living.
00:27:41 (audience laughing)
00:27:42 That reminds me, I'll find more half-assed things.
00:27:45 When too many bowler hats and raincoats
00:27:46 sprang at me from behind the screens,
00:27:48 that was Archie's one downfall.
00:27:49 Could have happened to anyone.
00:27:50 I think it must have been the ward sister tipped them off.
00:27:53 She used to tell me she was very spiritual.
00:27:55 Hey, I'd gone legit just then, you see.
00:27:57 And I was in "The Tale of Two Cities."
00:27:59 When I told her, she said, "Oh yes, I've heard of that."
00:28:02 She was an Irish lady.
00:28:03 "The Tale of Two Cities."
00:28:05 Isn't that about Sodom and Gomorrah?
00:28:06 (audience laughing)
00:28:08 Hey, Harold, can I have a word?
00:28:09 - Yeah, take.
00:28:10 - Oh, thank you, thank you very much.
00:28:11 (audience laughing)
00:28:14 How about,
00:28:15 how about a booking at the Winter Garden
00:28:20 when the season's over?
00:28:22 - What do you have in mind?
00:28:24 - Something lavish, a couple of top liners.
00:28:27 See, I got hold of those costumes
00:28:28 from Sid Stein's "Blackpool" show last year.
00:28:30 It's, you know, fabulous stuff.
00:28:32 - Why don't you leave it alone, Archie?
00:28:33 - No, I was having a drink, you see.
00:28:34 I was having a drink with Doreen Main's agent last Thursday.
00:28:37 - Doreen Main?
00:28:38 - You know, she, one of her records hit the top 10
00:28:41 last February, you know?
00:28:42 - I'd like to do you a favor, Archie.
00:28:44 - I'm not asking any favors, Harold.
00:28:47 - What management?
00:28:48 - What, me?
00:28:49 - Are you really serious, Archie?
00:28:52 - Serious?
00:28:53 Harold, you don't understand.
00:28:54 I need this booking.
00:28:55 I really need it.
00:28:57 - Well, I'd have to see the show first.
00:28:59 - Harold, I've got to open somewhere.
00:29:02 - Now, Archie, we've had some good laughs together
00:29:06 all this time.
00:29:06 Let's leave it like that, eh?
00:29:07 - Harold, you don't understand.
00:29:08 With a booking like this, I could break the circuits.
00:29:11 - Archie, you know me.
00:29:12 I only deal with established properties.
00:29:13 - Harold, I'm asking you as a friend.
00:29:16 - Look, you know my office.
00:29:21 If you think you've got a concrete proposition,
00:29:22 I'm always prepared to listen.
00:29:23 - Not otherwise.
00:29:24 - Sorry about that, Harold.
00:29:29 Worrying about young Mika, this thing.
00:29:32 - That's all right, Archie.
00:29:35 (crowd chattering)
00:29:38 - Well, I must rush now, boys.
00:29:43 The call of the bathing belt competition.
00:29:45 I'm judging the finals this afternoon.
00:29:47 - I thought Wally Barker was gonna do it.
00:29:49 - Wally Barker dropped out, so they sent for the expert.
00:29:52 Mind you, of course they don't understand
00:29:54 the business in this country, Harold.
00:29:55 - Oh, they don't?
00:29:57 - On the continent, they put the girls up
00:29:58 for auction when it's finished.
00:29:59 - They do?
00:30:00 - Hey, did I tell you about the chapter?
00:30:01 They can't appear.
00:30:02 - No, no, sorry.
00:30:03 - Too late.
00:30:04 So long, Frank.
00:30:06 - So long.
00:30:07 - Can I help you, darling?
00:30:13 - Well, I'm looking for Mr. Rice.
00:30:15 I'm his daughter.
00:30:18 - Which one are you?
00:30:19 The one born yesterday?
00:30:20 - As a matter of fact, Mr. Harvard, she is my sister.
00:30:27 - Sorry.
00:30:32 - Gee, gee, gee, now listen, he didn't mean anything.
00:30:35 - I know what he meant.
00:30:36 Who is he, anyway?
00:30:39 - He's the new manager at the Winter Garden Theater.
00:30:41 - Who is he?
00:30:42 Well, I wouldn't trust him behind a drawn curtain
00:30:44 with his feet showing.
00:30:45 - With his feet showing, as my dear old dad would say.
00:30:47 - Oh, why does he go on with it?
00:30:49 - Who, dad?
00:30:50 - Mm.
00:30:51 - In the blood, I suppose.
00:30:52 Yours too, I'll bet.
00:30:53 - Oh, I just wish sometimes he'd face up to reality.
00:30:57 - Well, I don't think he ever faces up to much else.
00:31:00 (gentle music)
00:31:02 He knows music halls dying better than you do.
00:31:04 - And what about you, Frank?
00:31:06 Are you going on with it?
00:31:07 - Talent got a bit thin when it come down to me.
00:31:11 And the courage too.
00:31:14 - Courage?
00:31:15 - Yeah.
00:31:16 Courage to go on, like Archie.
00:31:19 He's got it.
00:31:20 Hey, walk out to the Winter Garden with me, will you?
00:31:24 - Well, what for?
00:31:24 - I'm standing in for the Lady Hawg and it's for half an hour.
00:31:26 (laughing)
00:31:27 Come on.
00:31:29 (gentle music)
00:31:31 Of course, you know, granted of the real talent,
00:31:46 he had what it takes.
00:31:48 People still remember him, you know.
00:31:49 They stop him in the streets.
00:31:50 I suppose he's about all that's left
00:31:53 of all that musical stuff and all them other things.
00:31:57 Still, as Phoebe always says,
00:31:59 "Better to be an Asby than an Everwell."
00:32:02 - It must have been better than this anyway.
00:32:05 Something's missing, isn't it?
00:32:08 Oh, Mrs. Sandy MacPherson calls.
00:32:14 Hey, you'll be late for the beauty competition.
00:32:17 I'll see you.
00:32:18 (gentle music)
00:32:21 - Miss Vicki Thelma of Leeds.
00:32:44 She likes weightlifting and dislikes men with beards.
00:32:48 Has no hobbies.
00:32:49 What about her, eh?
00:32:51 She needs some beef pudding as well.
00:32:52 The roast beef of Old England, if you ask me.
00:32:54 Well, no, nobody's asking me.
00:32:56 Never mind.
00:32:57 Now, Miss Anne Tomlinson of Heasham
00:33:01 likes steak, dislikes getting up in the morning,
00:33:05 and has no hobbies.
00:33:06 Miss Shirley Lawrence from Brifolm.
00:33:10 She likes midnight swimming and dislikes wolves,
00:33:13 and her hobby is sailing.
00:33:15 Now, Miss Joyce Richards from Heasham.
00:33:22 She likes weightlifting and dislikes men drivers,
00:33:26 and she's got no hobbies.
00:33:27 (whistles)
00:33:29 - Jesus, Matthew.
00:33:30 - Get over, father.
00:33:31 - Don't look so worried, lady.
00:33:33 Your old man may be a bit square,
00:33:34 but he still loves to go in for the curves, eh?
00:33:36 (laughs)
00:33:37 (audience applauds)
00:33:41 How about that for a bit of pie on square?
00:33:44 When did they dig him up?
00:33:45 - April McHugh of Dartmouth.
00:33:47 - Hello.
00:33:48 - Oh, hello, dear.
00:33:49 - Hello, Grandad.
00:33:50 - Yes, most of it.
00:33:51 We're just doing the final walk around.
00:33:53 - Archie's been good.
00:33:54 - Yes, I was watching from the back.
00:33:56 - No, he hasn't said a word about me all day.
00:33:59 He's worried about me.
00:34:00 Well, that's why I came out early,
00:34:02 to take my mind off it a bit.
00:34:04 - She's pretty.
00:34:05 - And now, Miss Tina Lackman from Burnley.
00:34:11 She likes meeting people, dislikes sarcastic people,
00:34:14 hobbies, amateur dramatics.
00:34:16 (whistles)
00:34:20 - Woo!
00:34:22 - Now, uh...
00:34:24 - I wonder which one Archie's picked out for himself.
00:34:26 - I don't know, she's a bloody loyalist.
00:34:28 - Doesn't like talking about it,
00:34:29 as if she doesn't know what's been going on all this time.
00:34:32 - Well, there's no reason to talk about it.
00:34:33 - She's not soft.
00:34:35 - I don't want to hear about it,
00:34:37 and I shouldn't think Jean does.
00:34:38 - She doesn't, she doesn't.
00:34:39 - And now, ladies and gentlemen,
00:34:41 before our distinguished judges make their final selection,
00:34:44 these lovely girls are going to line up for you,
00:34:47 so that you can make your final selection.
00:34:49 I've made mine.
00:34:50 Of course, this is a very tense moment,
00:34:52 ladies and gentlemen, you understand,
00:34:53 very tense, very tense indeed.
00:34:55 And the judges have the most elaborate system of marking.
00:34:58 They're marked good, very good, and wow!
00:35:02 There you are, boys, aren't they gorgeous?
00:35:06 Aren't they gorgeous?
00:35:07 Come on, boys, that'll take the tops off your boiled eggs
00:35:09 for you tomorrow morning.
00:35:11 - And if I happen to mention the women,
00:35:15 it's just because it's always been the same thing with them.
00:35:19 Still, I suppose it's different with men,
00:35:21 more important to them.
00:35:23 - Will you hold your bloody noise?
00:35:24 - Why don't you?
00:35:26 - And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for,
00:35:28 the judges' final announcement.
00:35:31 Thank you.
00:35:33 For the third prize, we have Miss Joyce Richard of Hecham,
00:35:37 just 19 and very nice too.
00:35:40 Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:35:43 To present the prizes, I have the great honour and pleasure
00:35:48 to introduce to you that great star of TV, stage,
00:35:52 stream, and labour exchange, Mr MacDonald Oakley.
00:35:55 (audience applauding)
00:36:06 - Congratulations.
00:36:08 - And the second place, Miss Tina Loughran from Burlington,
00:36:14 age 20 and very nice too.
00:36:17 Hi, there.
00:36:18 - Oh, no.
00:36:22 Don't think much of her.
00:36:24 - Good luck to you.
00:36:25 - All yours, ma'am. - Thanks very much.
00:36:36 - Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the cheque
00:36:38 for 1,000 pounds and the holder of the title
00:36:41 of Miss Great Britain is Valerie Martin from Salesbury.
00:36:46 (audience applauding)
00:36:49 - Oh, this, you two wait here while I go and try
00:37:01 and find Archie before the big rush.
00:37:03 They'll be starting all the photographs soon.
00:37:05 - Excuse me, and you behave yourselves.
00:37:07 - Yes, yes, yes.
00:37:09 Beauty competition, about the time I come,
00:37:12 tell the women from the men, not from the back.
00:37:14 Even from the front, you have to take a good look sometimes.
00:37:18 - You look thirsty.
00:37:19 How about having a little drink with me?
00:37:21 - Well, you see, I can't because I've got my mum with me.
00:37:24 - That's all right, love.
00:37:25 Bring her along to have a drink too.
00:37:26 - Really? - Yes, of course.
00:37:28 Where is she? Is she here?
00:37:29 - Well, come over and meet her while I chase.
00:37:31 - Is she pretty? - No.
00:37:33 No, no, she's not the best.
00:37:35 - Mum!
00:37:36 Mum!
00:37:37 (audience chattering)
00:37:40 - Oh, this is Mr. Rice, he wants to meet you.
00:37:42 This is my mum, Mrs. Hatcher.
00:37:44 - Hello.
00:37:45 (footsteps tapping)
00:37:48 - Well, go get chased, love, and then you won't get caught.
00:37:54 - I'm the best one in the bar.
00:37:56 - Well, I thought that we'd never go to make up their minds.
00:37:59 And I'm not saying that because of our TV, you know,
00:38:01 because, I mean, after all,
00:38:02 a second prize is better than no prize at all.
00:38:03 - Yes, but everyone was saying that.
00:38:04 - Really?
00:38:05 I can't understand what they could see in that girl.
00:38:08 - Could you, Mrs. Hatcher?
00:38:09 - I mean, there was a lot of the girls there,
00:38:11 extremely ladylike, like Artina,
00:38:13 but that one, well, the one that won first prize.
00:38:16 Oh, I'm sorry, I shall just have to say it, Mr. Rice.
00:38:19 She was just common.
00:38:20 That's all I can say, just common.
00:38:23 Of course, you see, I always knew Artina had it in her
00:38:25 when she was a little girl, you know.
00:38:26 Oh, yes, she was always doing impersonations.
00:38:29 Weren't you, love?
00:38:30 - Oh, that.
00:38:31 - Oh, that.
00:38:32 Film stars, you know.
00:38:34 Veronica Lake, she used to do,
00:38:36 and Donald Duck, and,
00:38:37 who else did you do, love?
00:38:39 - Oh, I don't remember.
00:38:40 I was only a little kid.
00:38:42 - Oh, I knew she had it in her then.
00:38:44 That's why I thought she'd better have elocution lessons.
00:38:46 Well, she started those before she started going to school.
00:38:49 Oh, she's worked hard.
00:38:51 Of course, she's not a red screw, darling.
00:38:52 Well, you'll have seen that.
00:38:54 You see, she wants to get up,
00:38:56 so I'm quite sure she will.
00:38:58 All she needs is a little push.
00:39:00 Eh, when you see some of those girls on television.
00:39:03 Honest.
00:39:04 - You're right, Mrs. Lapham.
00:39:07 I think, uh, Tina, your Tina,
00:39:10 could easily go places in a big way.
00:39:13 It's just a question of the brakes, as you say.
00:39:16 Now, I'm just wondering.
00:39:19 You see, I, uh,
00:39:21 I have a new show opening at the Winter Garden, actually.
00:39:25 - The Winter Garden?
00:39:26 Have you?
00:39:28 - Yes, you see, it's a
00:39:30 pretty expensive show.
00:39:32 Uh, Doreen Main,
00:39:33 and, uh, thousands of pounds worth of costumes.
00:39:37 It's, uh, it's quite a proposition.
00:39:40 It just might be the right break for Tina.
00:39:46 (indistinct chatter)
00:39:50 (Tina laughs)
00:39:51 (birds chirping)
00:39:53 (footsteps)
00:39:56 - Oh, your legs!
00:39:58 - I'm sorry, I got held up.
00:39:59 Had to see a man about some scenery.
00:40:01 - Why do you want to meet me in this, darling?
00:40:03 - Oh, well, I thought we might have a drink in the caravan.
00:40:05 - What caravan? - I'll show you.
00:40:07 (footsteps)
00:40:09 (birds chirping)
00:40:12 (dogs barking)
00:40:15 - The caravan owns a site.
00:40:17 There.
00:40:20 (dogs barking)
00:40:24 I thought we could be alone for the afternoon.
00:40:27 Okay?
00:40:30 - Okay.
00:40:33 Don't worry.
00:40:36 (dogs barking)
00:40:39 (children playing)
00:40:42 (soft music)
00:40:45 - How do you feel?
00:40:48 - I feel, um...
00:40:51 happy, I suppose.
00:40:54 - So do I.
00:40:56 I've never been as happy as this.
00:40:58 Have you?
00:40:59 - No, I...don't think I have.
00:41:03 - I've only ever had young boyfriends.
00:41:07 - Not used to the old croc thing.
00:41:08 - Oh, don't be so daft.
00:41:12 I mean, we've never made love.
00:41:14 Not like this afternoon.
00:41:18 - Have you?
00:41:21 ♪ (soft music)
00:41:23 - Do you think I'm in love with you, Archie?
00:41:26 - You tell me.
00:41:28 - Yes.
00:41:29 Yes, I think I must be.
00:41:34 What was your wife like, Archie?
00:41:39 - She was, um...
00:41:43 a bit, uh...
00:41:45 difficult to describe.
00:41:49 - Didn't she get on very well?
00:41:51 - Well, yeah, well, um...
00:41:55 she, um...didn't really...
00:41:58 approve of the way I carried on, you see.
00:42:01 - What do you mean?
00:42:02 - Well, um...
00:42:04 she didn't think I took life seriously.
00:42:07 - Why should you take life seriously?
00:42:09 What good does it do you?
00:42:12 I think you look smashing when you're on the stage.
00:42:16 ♪ (soft music)
00:42:19 Where are your children, then?
00:42:21 - Girls in London.
00:42:24 Uh...one of the boys is in the army.
00:42:27 Uh, hey, Adam, what time we got to meet
00:42:30 your mom and dad?
00:42:31 - Oh, half past five. - Yeah.
00:42:33 - I'd better get dressed, hadn't I? - Yeah.
00:42:37 - I can't wait to be in the new show, Archie.
00:42:40 Dad'll help with the money side.
00:42:41 He's driving over, especially today, to talk about it.
00:42:44 So don't worry, Mom will fix that.
00:42:48 Oh, Archie...
00:42:50 you make me feel so good.
00:42:52 You do really.
00:42:55 There's something...
00:42:57 I don't know...marvelous about you.
00:43:01 ♪ (soft music)
00:43:07 - Did you ever want to get married again?
00:43:10 - No.
00:43:12 - Never met anyone, I suppose.
00:43:15 - That's right.
00:43:16 - Here is a summary of the news.
00:43:17 First, the Middle East.
00:43:19 The War Office spokesman announced this afternoon
00:43:21 that Sergeant Michael Rice was being released
00:43:23 almost immediately after negotiations
00:43:25 which began at 11 o'clock this morning.
00:43:28 Sergeant Rice is reported to be fit and well.
00:43:30 An allocated air--
00:43:31 (phone clicks off)
00:43:34 - What is it, eh?
00:43:36 Tell me, Archie.
00:43:38 What is it?
00:43:40 - What?
00:43:42 - What's that that makes you so marvelous?
00:43:46 Say you love me, Archie.
00:43:49 (paper rustles)
00:43:54 - I love you.
00:43:56 - Oh, in a few days, you know, I can't believe it!
00:43:59 - Now I knew they wouldn't keep him!
00:44:01 They wouldn't dare, not even nowadays.
00:44:03 - Oh, I hope it's true and nothing will go wrong!
00:44:05 - Oh, pardon me Phoebe, but you do talk
00:44:07 the most almighty rubbish I've ever had to listen to.
00:44:10 - They say they've got an airplane standing by.
00:44:13 - I don't want Archie to be disappointed.
00:44:15 That's all, on top of everything else.
00:44:17 You should never build things up.
00:44:19 You're always disappointed, really.
00:44:21 That's Archie's trouble.
00:44:22 Always builds everything up.
00:44:25 Always off on some new idea.
00:44:27 - And he said--
00:44:28 - Oh, well, there's the limit, isn't there?
00:44:30 - No, no, wait a minute.
00:44:31 - Oh, sorry, Archie, go on.
00:44:32 - Well, he said, "Cut rice in."
00:44:34 Why do they call it "cut rice in"?
00:44:36 And he said, well, you see, it goes like this.
00:44:38 "By the time all the pussycats have finished chasing
00:44:40 the electric saucer of milk,
00:44:41 it's turned into a rice pudding."
00:44:42 Yeah, well, that one's not so good.
00:44:43 (laughing)
00:44:44 But I got it from my landlady.
00:44:45 No, really, I did, I got it from my landlady.
00:44:47 It's not the only thing I've got off her.
00:44:48 (laughing)
00:44:49 - Oh, I haven't laughed so much
00:44:50 since I've been a long time.
00:44:52 Oh, I say, you know that boy they take prisoner?
00:44:54 His name's Rice.
00:44:55 Did you see the evening papers?
00:44:57 - Yeah, I heard it on the radio.
00:44:58 How about another cup, mate?
00:44:59 I don't mind a great deal.
00:45:00 - Oh, you're all done.
00:45:00 I'm full, though.
00:45:01 (laughing)
00:45:04 - Now, uh, now it's time we got down to business,
00:45:06 as the bishop said to--
00:45:07 - To the actress, I know.
00:45:08 - That's right.
00:45:09 - You don't worry about anything, Archie.
00:45:11 I'll see you, all right?
00:45:12 You have me on, don't you?
00:45:13 Oh, then the deal's all set.
00:45:15 - It is.
00:45:16 - Thanks.
00:45:16 - And Tina's up, aren't you, love?
00:45:18 - Oh, yes.
00:45:19 - Well, thanks.
00:45:21 Well, I've got to get off to the theater.
00:45:23 I'm a working man, you know.
00:45:24 - Oh, why don't we all come?
00:45:25 Now we're in your business.
00:45:27 Tina can pick up a few tips.
00:45:29 - You're welcome.
00:45:29 It's just a little, uh, summer show, you know.
00:45:33 It's nothing like the glorious shape of things to come.
00:45:37 However, if you understand that, by all means,
00:45:39 I'll leave the seats at the box office.
00:45:40 - Oh, well. - In my name.
00:45:41 - Thank you very much.
00:45:42 - Bye-bye now.
00:45:44 - Oh, I say.
00:45:45 - Oh, excuse me.
00:45:45 - He's a charming man, isn't he, Wilfred?
00:45:48 - No, Ada.
00:45:49 This is just a business deal.
00:45:50 - I'm well aware of that.
00:45:52 - Archie?
00:45:54 I can't see you tonight with Dad here.
00:45:56 It'll have to be tomorrow.
00:45:58 - All right, love.
00:46:00 (car horn honks)
00:46:02 - That wasn't Archie, was it?
00:46:21 - No.
00:46:22 - Oh, Jean, could you let me tend, Bob?
00:46:24 Do you mind, dear, just till I get paid?
00:46:28 I thought I'd buy this for Mick for when he comes home.
00:46:30 He's got ever such a sweet tooth, Mick.
00:46:32 He loves anything like this.
00:46:34 - It's a bit jazzy, isn't it?
00:46:35 - Jazzy?
00:46:36 Oh, I don't think it's jazzy.
00:46:39 I don't know what you mean by jazzy.
00:46:41 Mick'll like it anyway.
00:46:43 - Here, look, take this.
00:46:45 Archie gave it to me this morning.
00:46:47 - Oh, I'll borrow that, then.
00:46:48 Now, don't forget to remind me.
00:46:49 I'll give it to you back.
00:46:50 - Okay.
00:46:51 Only I can't come, Phoebe,
00:46:52 because I promised to meet Grandad at the class.
00:46:54 - Oh.
00:46:55 I say, dear.
00:46:55 - All right, dear.
00:46:56 - I'll see you later.
00:46:57 - All right, dear.
00:46:58 - All right, dear.
00:46:59 Can I wear me Owain's dress with a diamond brooch?
00:47:01 - Of course you can.
00:47:02 - My diamond brooch.
00:47:04 - Fair enough.
00:47:05 - No way tonight.
00:47:06 - Now, you can't all get to the top.
00:47:08 You can't make your own luck.
00:47:10 Me, I was always lucky.
00:47:12 Always was.
00:47:12 Mind you, I was good, too.
00:47:14 - Oh, you were.
00:47:15 - Grandad, I must talk to you sometime.
00:47:17 - Of course, my darling.
00:47:18 What about?
00:47:19 - It's about Dad.
00:47:20 - Oh, yes.
00:47:21 Later.
00:47:22 - It makes you proud, doesn't it?
00:47:23 - That ambassador I was talking to about.
00:47:26 He's a something person.
00:47:28 His name was Charlie.
00:47:29 And absolutely the best type.
00:47:32 Told me I was his favorite comedian.
00:47:34 Blaring George Orwell.
00:47:35 (laughing)
00:47:38 - Ladies and gentlemen,
00:47:39 tonight is a great occasion
00:47:41 for one of our most distinguished members.
00:47:43 I believe he's just had very good news
00:47:46 about someone in his family.
00:47:47 And I'm sure you'll all want to join with me
00:47:49 in offering heartiest congratulations
00:47:51 and in drinking his health.
00:47:52 Billy Rice.
00:47:53 (cheering)
00:47:57 And now I'm going to ask him to do us the honor
00:47:59 to step up here and sing us some of his favorite songs.
00:48:02 (cheering)
00:48:06 - Look at him.
00:48:07 You wouldn't remember this, would you?
00:48:09 He's done a bit.
00:48:10 - The British Navy, isn't he?
00:48:12 Oh, no, no, I don't want to.
00:48:14 (laughing)
00:48:16 (piano music)
00:48:19 - The so-called governments we've got today
00:48:23 are cutting down expenses, so they say.
00:48:26 To save a few odd million, more or less,
00:48:30 they want to scrap the Navy, do they?
00:48:34 (cheering)
00:48:36 We know they're broke.
00:48:37 Well, I'm broke.
00:48:38 So are you broke.
00:48:39 We're all broke.
00:48:41 As we were when Bolling broke first sailed away.
00:48:46 But we've got the men, we've got the ships.
00:48:49 What's more, we've got the water.
00:48:51 (laughing)
00:48:54 And it's just as wet as in Lord Nelson's day.
00:48:59 So don't let us have the British Navy.
00:49:03 Don't let us have Bolling at war.
00:49:07 Why do you care if the Income Tax is down, Bolling's around?
00:49:11 We can always have it always and before.
00:49:15 Let Winston say ta-ta to all the ta-tas he adores.
00:49:18 But not ta-ta to all the ta-tas that guard our English shores.
00:49:22 Let 'em scrap his high hats, squash hats,
00:49:26 straw hats and the lawn.
00:49:30 But they must submit the scrap.
00:49:32 No!
00:49:34 They must submit the scrap.
00:49:35 No!
00:49:37 They must submit the scrap, the British Navy.
00:49:41 (cheering)
00:49:43 ♪ For I'm sure you'll agree ♪
00:49:46 ♪ that a fellow like me ♪
00:49:50 ♪ is the salt of our dear old country ♪
00:49:53 ♪ of our dear old country ♪
00:49:56 (drum roll)
00:49:59 ♪ But when our heritage is threatened ♪
00:50:02 ♪ at home or across the sea ♪
00:50:04 ♪ it's a flag up, yes, you and me ♪
00:50:08 ♪ who march again to victory ♪
00:50:12 (laughing)
00:50:15 ♪ Some people say we're finished ♪
00:50:18 ♪ Some people say we're done ♪
00:50:21 ♪ But if we stand ♪
00:50:24 ♪ by this dear old land ♪
00:50:28 ♪
00:50:36 Don't look so sad, dear.
00:50:37 You'd look sour if you'd been messed about.
00:50:39 You'll get what's coming to you.
00:50:43 ♪ The battle will be won ♪
00:50:50 ♪ Thank God we're normal, normal, normal ♪
00:50:54 ♪ Yes, thank God we're normal ♪
00:50:56 ♪ We are the country's flower ♪
00:50:58 ♪ And when the great cold comes ♪
00:51:01 ♪ someone will gaze down on us and say ♪
00:51:06 ♪ They made no fuss ♪
00:51:10 ♪ For this was their finest shower ♪
00:51:13 ♪ Yes, this was their finest shower ♪
00:51:16 ♪ So thank God we're normal, normal, normal ♪
00:51:20 ♪ Yes, thank God we're normal ♪
00:51:23 ♪ For this was their finest shower ♪
00:51:29 (applause)
00:51:33 What do you mean?
00:51:33 You get it all, my dear.
00:51:34 There's a new show, solid.
00:51:36 Back to the limit.
00:51:36 What, a new bugger?
00:51:38 ♪
00:51:43 (applause)
00:51:47 ♪
00:51:54 (doorbell rings)
00:51:56 (dogs barking)
00:51:59 - And now a request from Mrs. Connie Morris
00:52:02 of Dover Hay, Pew Ferry Drive, Northwood, Middlesex.
00:52:06 For her husband, Flight Sergeant Ozzie Morris,
00:52:09 who is serving somewhere in the Middle East.
00:52:12 Mrs. Morris says that her husband
00:52:13 is a great lover of ours.
00:52:15 (indistinct chatter)
00:52:19 - Sorry Phoebe, I'd forgotten my key.
00:52:21 - You know, whenever there's a ring at the door,
00:52:22 I don't like to answer it
00:52:24 in case it's a policeman standing there
00:52:25 with another summons.
00:52:26 - There'll be a policeman at the door, all right?
00:52:30 (door opens)
00:52:31 - Do hope Archie won't be long.
00:52:33 - No, I don't think he will. Frank's with him.
00:52:35 - Oh, Frank's a censor before.
00:52:36 - Well, he'll see he doesn't stay out too late.
00:52:39 Archie's a fool to himself.
00:52:41 Always got some big idea he's gonna make money.
00:52:44 Little while ago, it was female impersonators.
00:52:47 We were going to make a packet.
00:52:50 But by the time Archie got started on it,
00:52:52 it had all petered out.
00:52:55 Oh well, it's no good worrying, is it?
00:52:57 Says on the telly that Mick's coming home.
00:53:00 And that's all that really matters.
00:53:02 Come on, have a drop of this, dear.
00:53:04 - No, not for me, thanks Phoebe.
00:53:05 - Oh, getting a bit low on the drink, aren't we?
00:53:08 - Oh look, and you're not to have another one
00:53:09 until you've had something to eat.
00:53:11 You've had nothing but tea and cigarettes for days.
00:53:13 - Oh no, I couldn't eat anything.
00:53:15 - But people have got to eat, dear.
00:53:16 If you don't have something--
00:53:17 - People have got to eat, she says.
00:53:19 Ah! That's a good one.
00:53:21 - Well, you can't carry on.
00:53:22 - People have got to eat, she said.
00:53:24 Well, has he got to?
00:53:26 - Well, he's just gone into the kitchen.
00:53:28 - That's not all they've got to do.
00:53:30 They've got to do a whole lot of things.
00:53:33 A whole lot of things you don't even know about.
00:53:35 - Oh, I know, love.
00:53:36 Things have been tough.
00:53:38 - You're a very sweet girl, Jean,
00:53:39 and I'm very fond of you.
00:53:41 But you're not even my own daughter!
00:53:43 - All right, Phoebe, I'm sorry.
00:53:44 Let's forget it.
00:53:45 - Don't presume too much.
00:53:46 - Oh, Phoebe, please, I just said--
00:53:48 - Don't presume too much!
00:53:50 - Let me get you some tea.
00:53:52 - Why doesn't Archie come back?
00:53:56 You'd think he'd come back here and celebrate
00:53:58 after hearing his son was safe and on his way home.
00:54:03 I don't know, you people.
00:54:05 - Oh, Phoebe, don't.
00:54:06 Let's have a row and over nothing.
00:54:07 It's silly.
00:54:08 - It's not silly!
00:54:10 Anyway, who said we were having a row?
00:54:13 All I said was that I wasn't hungry.
00:54:16 And you start getting at me!
00:54:17 - Look, what's the "getting at you"?
00:54:18 - I can't eat because I can't--
00:54:21 You don't know, you don't know what it's like.
00:54:24 We've lived on penny pieces of bacon from the butchers
00:54:27 and what we've got from the tribunal.
00:54:30 You people, you're all alike!
00:54:32 - Frank, we should have stayed.
00:54:32 I told you.
00:54:33 - Archie, I'm talking to Jean.
00:54:35 - Yes, dear, I thought that's what you was doing.
00:54:37 I sized up the situation in a flash.
00:54:38 - Oh, it's easy for people like you to make fun.
00:54:41 I left school when I was 12 years old.
00:54:44 - You're right if she tells me that.
00:54:46 Once more, I shall get up on this roof, drunk as I am,
00:54:48 I shall get up on this roof and scream,
00:54:50 and I've never done that before.
00:54:51 - You had to pay sixpence a week then.
00:54:54 In some weeks, my mother couldn't find me.
00:54:56 - But this is a welfare state, my old darling.
00:54:58 Nobody wants, nobody goes without, all our provided for.
00:55:00 - I was scrubbing a dining room!
00:55:02 - Everybody's all right!
00:55:04 Young Mick's all right!
00:55:05 - Oh, she's all right. - Oh, shut up!
00:55:06 - Frank's all right, Jean's all right.
00:55:08 She'll make it up with old Graham
00:55:10 and forget all about silly old Trafalgar Square
00:55:12 and prime ministers who look like dogs downstairs.
00:55:15 They are dear.
00:55:15 - You don't understand.
00:55:17 - I know, Phoebe scrubbed a dining hall floor
00:55:19 for 500 kids when she was 12 years old, didn't you?
00:55:21 Didn't you?
00:55:22 Have you any idea either of you how often
00:55:24 she told me about those 500 kids in that dining hall?
00:55:27 - Oh, shut up!
00:55:27 - Yeah, okay, son, I'll shut up.
00:55:29 Hey, pass one of those to Jean.
00:55:30 She looks as though she could use it.
00:55:31 - I can't.
00:55:32 - You've been away too long, darling.
00:55:33 Every night's a party night.
00:55:34 - And do you know why?
00:55:35 Do you know why?
00:55:36 Hey, look at her.
00:55:37 Look at that poor, pathetic old thing there.
00:55:39 She's very drunk, and right now her marzy,
00:55:42 underdeveloped, untrained mind is racing
00:55:45 because her bloodstream is full of alcohol
00:55:47 we can't afford to give up.
00:55:49 - What's he talking about?
00:55:51 - She's tired and she's getting old.
00:55:52 She's tired and she's tired of me.
00:55:54 Nobody ever give her very much in this world except me,
00:55:56 and my God, she's tired of that!
00:55:58 Aren't you, my old darling?
00:55:59 You're tired of that, aren't you?
00:56:01 - I tried to make something of myself.
00:56:03 I tried.
00:56:04 I really did try.
00:56:06 I was nothing much to look at.
00:56:08 I was a plain kid.
00:56:09 No, I wasn't.
00:56:12 I wasn't even plain.
00:56:14 I was the ugliest, bloody kid you ever saw in your life,
00:56:18 but I made something of myself.
00:56:21 I made him want me.
00:56:24 - It was a long time ago.
00:56:25 Oh, let's have a row, but please,
00:56:26 can we have a quiet row?
00:56:28 - They know it was a long time ago.
00:56:29 I wish you'd stop yelling.
00:56:30 I can't hear myself shout.
00:56:31 Sing us one of your songs.
00:56:32 There's a good boy.
00:56:33 Hey, where's the old man?
00:56:34 - He's in the kitchen.
00:56:35 - Billy, come out of there!
00:56:36 You know you're only reading
00:56:37 and your Auntie Ethel's been on her feet all day.
00:56:39 - What's he doing messing in there?
00:56:41 He knows I don't like him being in there.
00:56:43 He leaves everything in such a mess.
00:56:46 You've been at that cake.
00:56:52 - What?
00:56:54 - You've been at my cake.
00:56:54 You've been at my cake, haven't you?
00:56:56 - I was hungry.
00:56:57 - Well, that cake was for Mickey.
00:56:58 It was for Mickey.
00:56:58 It wasn't for you.
00:57:00 - I'm sorry.
00:57:00 - I bought that cake for Mickey.
00:57:02 It's for when he comes home.
00:57:04 Why couldn't you leave it alone?
00:57:06 - I just--
00:57:07 - Couldn't you leave it alone?
00:57:08 It wasn't for you.
00:57:11 What's the matter with you?
00:57:13 I feed you, don't I?
00:57:14 Don't think you give me all that much money every week
00:57:17 because you don't.
00:57:18 - Phoebe, forget it.
00:57:18 - I don't forget anything.
00:57:20 - We'll buy another one, dear.
00:57:21 - Oh, you'll buy another one.
00:57:22 You're so rich.
00:57:24 You're such a great big success.
00:57:27 What's little cake?
00:57:28 It's for Lord to a dozen of them.
00:57:30 Well, I bought that cake, and it cost me 30 shillings.
00:57:36 It was for Mickey when he comes home
00:57:39 because I wanted to give him something,
00:57:41 something that I know he'll like
00:57:42 after being where he's been and going through what he has.
00:57:45 And now that bloody greedy old pig,
00:57:48 that old pig, as if he hasn't had enough of everything already.
00:57:53 He's got his great faith in his--
00:57:56 [SCREAMING]
00:57:59 - Excuse me, dear.
00:58:09 [SOBBING]
00:58:12 - Well, I suppose so.
00:58:22 He's had more out of life than any of us, and he's enjoyed it.
00:58:25 Good luck to him.
00:58:27 Or Sam, you needn't have done that.
00:58:30 - I'm so sorry, Archie.
00:58:33 Please try and forgive me.
00:58:36 - Come on, lad.
00:58:40 Pull yourself together.
00:58:41 That's what Gwishet Hall's done years ago.
00:58:43 Pulled ourselves together.
00:58:45 Let's pull ourselves together.
00:58:47 - Together.
00:58:48 Together.
00:58:49 Let's pull ourselves together, and the happy you will be.
00:58:52 - That's right, gents.
00:58:52 Remember, we're British.
00:58:53 - Ah, hail!
00:58:54 Don't look so worried, G.
00:58:55 You won't have to put up with this kind of thing much longer.
00:58:58 Phoebe, let's see you do your dance.
00:58:59 Hey, Jean, play something.
00:59:00 - Yes, darling.
00:59:01 - Go on.
00:59:01 She dances jolly well, don't you, poor old thing?
00:59:03 I wonder if she'll make me cry tonight.
00:59:05 We'll see.
00:59:05 We'll see.
00:59:06 Hey, Frank, sing us one of your songs.
00:59:07 There's a good point.
00:59:08 - (SINGING) When there isn't a girl about you, feel so lonely.
00:59:11 When there isn't a girl about you, wrong you're--
00:59:13 - No, wait a minute.
00:59:13 I'm just trying to--
00:59:14 um, um, um, the girl I love is up in the lavatory.
00:59:19 - No, Archie.
00:59:20 No.
00:59:21 Not like that.
00:59:22 It's rude.
00:59:23 - Hey, you sing it, please.
00:59:24 - Yes, come on.
00:59:25 Come on.
00:59:25 - No, I don't want to sing.
00:59:26 - All right, then.
00:59:28 - (SINGING) The boy I love, he's up in the gallery.
00:59:33 The boy I love, he's smiling at me.
00:59:38 Where is he?
00:59:39 Can't you see?
00:59:41 Waving his handkerchief as merry as a robin that sings on a tree.
00:59:48 - Jolly good.
00:59:49 - No, I don't think so.
00:59:50 - No, I don't think so.
00:59:51 - Yes, I'm just not sure.
00:59:52 - All right.
00:59:54 - This letter's from Claire.
00:59:55 - Oh, who's Claire?
00:59:56 - May I have another cup of tea, please, dear?
00:59:57 - Oh, just a minute.
00:59:58 I want to read a Claire's letter.
00:59:59 I want you to listen, Archie, too.
01:00:01 Claire's my niece, the one that's in Canada.
01:00:03 She's my brother John's daughter.
01:00:05 They're all over there now, you know.
01:00:06 My brother John as well.
01:00:08 They started off in the restaurant business
01:00:10 four years ago with $500.
01:00:13 Look, there's their little girl.
01:00:15 Now they have a hotel in Toronto,
01:00:17 and they're going to open another one.
01:00:18 - You don't have to look interested, dear.
01:00:20 She's not interested in all that horse manure
01:00:21 about Canada.
01:00:22 - Of course she's interested!
01:00:24 - Frank, dear, would you get me another cup of tea, please?
01:00:27 - Look, I'm only trying to explain to her.
01:00:29 You see, they've got this one hotel in Toronto,
01:00:32 now they're going to open another hotel in Ottawa.
01:00:35 My brother John manages the hotel in Toronto for them,
01:00:38 and now they want us to go out there
01:00:40 and for Archie to manage the hotel in Ottawa.
01:00:42 - What do I know about hotels?
01:00:43 All I've ever lived in is digs.
01:00:45 - You see, he gets cross if I mention it.
01:00:47 - For God's sake, don't say I get cross
01:00:49 if you mention it once more.
01:00:50 You've mentioned it, haven't you?
01:00:51 And I'm not cross, I just think it's a bloody pointless idea.
01:00:54 Anyway, you can't get draft bass in Canada.
01:01:01 I'm going to the theater.
01:01:05 - Will you be back for dinner, Archie?
01:01:06 - No, I don't think so.
01:01:07 I'll stab a bite somewhere.
01:01:09 Hey, Jean, why don't you bring some fish and chips
01:01:12 or something for the old dump?
01:01:13 Remember, when you were a kid?
01:01:14 - Yeah.
01:01:15 - I'll bring the champagne.
01:01:16 - All right.
01:01:17 - Don't often see mother to daughter, do I?
01:01:19 Ta-ta!
01:01:20 - Bye. - Bye.
01:01:21 - You know, he doesn't like me talking about it.
01:01:24 But she says we needn't make a decision
01:01:25 for another month or two.
01:01:27 - Well, what about the boys?
01:01:28 - They can come too if they want.
01:01:30 I don't know about Mick,
01:01:31 but Frank likes the idea, don't you, Frank?
01:01:33 - Mm. - Do you, Frank?
01:01:36 - Well, take a look around you.
01:01:38 Can you think of any good reason
01:01:39 for staying in this cozy little corner of Europe?
01:01:43 Who are you?
01:01:45 You're nobody.
01:01:46 You're nobody, you have no money, and you're young.
01:01:49 And when you end up, it's pretty certain
01:01:51 you'll still have no money, you'll still be nobody.
01:01:54 And the only difference is, you'll be old.
01:01:56 - You know, sometimes I think you're the only
01:01:58 really sensible one of any of us.
01:02:00 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:02:06 - Here we are. Champagne.
01:02:08 Remember when I picked you up at the bottom here?
01:02:13 You'd been a very naughty little girl, I must have buggered.
01:02:15 (Mrs. Hatch laughs)
01:02:17 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:02:25 - Well, Phoebe seems very keen on this Canada idea.
01:02:28 - Yeah.
01:02:29 I went to Canada during the war.
01:02:31 - I remember.
01:02:33 - Couldn't get draft bass, not even in Toronto.
01:02:36 Seemed to think that was pretty English.
01:02:39 Didn't seem very English to me.
01:02:40 (both laugh)
01:02:42 Hey, Concord Avenue and that Trafalgar Square,
01:02:45 did you really believe in all that?
01:02:46 - Well, I thought I did at the time.
01:02:49 - Like me and draft bass and women, eh?
01:02:51 - Oh...
01:02:53 Are you meeting someone?
01:02:55 - Eh, no, well, just a man about some scenery.
01:02:57 Caught her for now.
01:02:59 - Phoebe seems to have set her heart on it.
01:03:01 (birds chirping)
01:03:07 - Your mother...
01:03:10 Your mother caught me in bed with Phoebe.
01:03:13 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:03:19 - I didn't know.
01:03:21 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:03:24 - Well, I don't know what I really expected,
01:03:25 but somehow I expected you to say something more than that.
01:03:29 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:03:31 Now...you, tell me...
01:03:34 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:03:36 You'd just been born...
01:03:39 and your mother caught poor old Phoebe and me together.
01:03:43 Poor old Phoebe.
01:03:46 She's never even enjoyed it...very much.
01:03:50 Anyway, your mother walked out.
01:03:53 She walked out, just like that.
01:03:55 She was what you'd call a person of...
01:03:58 person of principle.
01:04:02 - You mean...you didn't love my mother?
01:04:06 - Yes!
01:04:07 I loved her.
01:04:09 I was in love with her...
01:04:12 whatever that may mean.
01:04:15 Anyway, a few months later she was dead, and that was that.
01:04:19 (car door closes)
01:04:20 (car engine rumbles)
01:04:27 Hey, tell me something...will you?
01:04:30 I want you to tell me something.
01:04:32 - Hmm?
01:04:34 - Well...what would you say...
01:04:37 to a man of...my age?
01:04:40 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:04:42 Marrying a girl of...
01:04:45 about...your age.
01:04:49 - Oh, Dad!
01:04:52 You're not serious.
01:04:55 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:04:59 Oh, you couldn't?
01:05:02 You couldn't do a thing like that to Phoebe?
01:05:05 (sniffles)
01:05:06 - You've been away from your old man a bit too long, haven't you?
01:05:10 Hey, ooh, my scenery man.
01:05:12 Gotta go.
01:05:13 - Well, where are you meeting him?
01:05:14 - What, at the Rocklef?
01:05:15 - Well, I'll walk down with you.
01:05:16 - No, no, no, don't bother.
01:05:18 I'm in a bit of a rush, you see.
01:05:19 Yeah, I tell you what, why don't you take...
01:05:21 take old Phoebe to the pictures, eh?
01:05:23 Yeah...thanks, thanks for...
01:05:26 ♪ (whimsical music)
01:05:29 (car engine rumbles)
01:05:37 (car engine rumbles)
01:05:45 - What's the matter, Jean?
01:05:48 - Oh, it's Archie.
01:05:50 - What is it now?
01:05:51 - A girl.
01:05:52 - Why, there's nothing new?
01:05:54 - He's thinking of marrying this one.
01:05:56 - I don't believe it.
01:05:57 - It's true.
01:05:58 - What about Phoebe?
01:05:59 - Exactly!
01:06:01 - Who is it?
01:06:03 - Oh, she was...she was in the bathing beauty competition.
01:06:05 Tina Lampford.
01:06:07 She won second prize.
01:06:09 She's the daughter of some bakery people in Burnley.
01:06:12 - They must be quite well-off.
01:06:15 Ah, here's the end of the ride.
01:06:18 Well, I'll make a move.
01:06:20 (children chattering)
01:06:25 Let me help you down, my darling.
01:06:26 - Thank you, Grandad.
01:06:28 (children chattering)
01:06:32 - You know, I wonder...
01:06:33 - Hmm?
01:06:35 - You know, he was with her and her parents yesterday
01:06:38 at Stox's Cafe.
01:06:40 Do you suppose he's pretending we don't exist?
01:06:44 - I don't know.
01:06:46 Her parents are here, you say?
01:06:47 - Mm-hmm.
01:06:47 They're staying at the holiday camp with her.
01:06:49 It's part of the prize.
01:06:51 - Damn waste of money.
01:06:52 Town Hall pays and shoves it all on the rich.
01:06:55 - Oh, Grandad, will you walk down to the station with me
01:06:58 to meet Greg?
01:06:59 - No, you want to be alone, my darling.
01:07:01 - Oh, I'd love you to come.
01:07:02 I've got some business to do.
01:07:05 Bye-bye, Jean.
01:07:08 - Bye.
01:07:09 (children chattering)
01:07:14 (train rumbling)
01:07:21 (train rumbling)
01:07:25 - Can I speak to Mrs. Lapthorne?
01:07:28 - I'll find out if she's in the comp set.
01:07:30 (footsteps)
01:07:38 - Morning, Mrs. Lapthorne.
01:07:39 Please go to reception where friends are waiting.
01:07:42 Thank you.
01:07:43 - Mrs. Lapthorne?
01:07:45 Well, that's me.
01:07:46 What can I be wanted for?
01:07:48 - I wonder what they could want, Mother.
01:07:52 - Hang on, I can hear them coming now.
01:07:56 (indistinct chatter)
01:07:58 - She's gone twice in a female name match today.
01:08:03 - Good afternoon.
01:08:06 - Hello?
01:08:07 Archibald speaking.
01:08:09 Yes?
01:08:11 (indistinct chatter)
01:08:14 Wait a minute, just a minute.
01:08:16 I don't understand what's wrong.
01:08:18 (indistinct chatter)
01:08:23 I don't understand, there's evidently some misunderstanding.
01:08:26 (indistinct chatter)
01:08:29 Well, look, don't be a cow, don't stand there, get out!
01:08:34 No, no, dear, I'm sorry.
01:08:35 Look, let me ring back, will you?
01:08:39 What do you mean the last time?
01:08:40 It's ridiculous.
01:08:43 Well, is Tina there?
01:08:46 Well, can I speak to her, please?
01:08:47 Well, why not?
01:08:49 (indistinct chatter)
01:08:54 Who?
01:08:56 Who's been telling all this?
01:08:59 Who?
01:09:04 I'm sure he couldn't have...
01:09:08 Go on, on stage, on stage, everybody!
01:09:12 He couldn't have understood it.
01:09:14 Listen, Mrs. Lapford, I want her, I want her, I meant it,
01:09:18 I want her in the show, and I want her to be the star.
01:09:21 And I want her to tell her that...
01:09:27 No, no, no, no, you can't, I'm depending on you.
01:09:30 You promised.
01:09:32 Oh, everything's fixed up, I've paid our checks.
01:09:35 (indistinct chatter)
01:09:41 Yes.
01:09:44 Yes, it's true.
01:09:46 Seven years ago, that's right.
01:09:49 Yeah, it's still in the receiver's...
01:09:53 Well, you didn't ask me...
01:09:58 Yeah, but for God's sake, give me some time!
01:10:02 No, but at least let me come and see you!
01:10:04 (indistinct chatter)
01:10:12 On stage.
01:10:13 Mr. Rice, can I have your autograph?
01:10:21 You look so damn...
01:10:22 (music playing)
01:10:29 Archie, that was Mrs. Moneybags, wasn't it?
01:10:32 Shut up!
01:10:33 You've mucked it up, haven't you?
01:10:34 I said you've mucked it up!
01:10:37 Good Archie Rice, you need a keeper!
01:10:39 What's the matter?
01:10:41 (car horn honking)
01:10:43 (music playing)
01:10:49 Hey, Dad, what's the matter?
01:10:50 Hey, shut up, shut the door, will you? Shut the door!
01:10:52 Just a second.
01:10:53 Hey, John!
01:10:54 Yeah?
01:10:55 Here, take these costumes down to the girls' room.
01:10:57 Check the board.
01:10:59 Tell Charlie to keep going.
01:11:01 Be back in two minutes, okay?
01:11:03 All right?
01:11:04 Yeah.
01:11:08 Dad, what's got into you?
01:11:09 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:11 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:13 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:15 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:17 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:19 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:21 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:23 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:25 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:27 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:29 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:31 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:33 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:35 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:37 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:39 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:41 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:43 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:45 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:47 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:49 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:51 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:53 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:55 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:57 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:11:59 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:01 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:03 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:05 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:07 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:09 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:11 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:13 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:15 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:17 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:19 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:21 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:23 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:25 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:27 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:29 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:31 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:33 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:35 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:37 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:39 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:41 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:43 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:45 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:47 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:49 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:51 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:53 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:55 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:57 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:12:59 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:01 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:03 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:05 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:07 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:09 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:11 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:13 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:15 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:17 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:19 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:21 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:23 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:25 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:27 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:29 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:31 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:33 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:35 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:37 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:39 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:41 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:43 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:45 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:47 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:49 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:51 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:53 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:55 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:57 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:13:59 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:01 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:03 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:05 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:07 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:09 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:11 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:13 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:15 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:17 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:19 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:21 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:23 I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
01:14:25 Look, Archie, I've had an idea.
01:14:27 I'll come in with you. How's that?
01:14:29 You mean to jail, dear?
01:14:33 My name's still worth something.
01:14:35 We'll give them the old songs. People still want them, you know, Archie.
01:14:38 Eh? What about it, son? What do you say?
01:14:41 God help you.
01:14:43 Archie.
01:14:45 Listen, Frank. Maybe you can understand.
01:14:47 His mind's going.
01:14:49 Look, I'm an undischarged bankrupt, see?
01:14:51 I do everything in my wife's name.
01:14:53 But just this once,
01:14:55 I signed the cheques myself for very obvious reasons.
01:14:58 Christ, Archie, you really are...
01:15:00 Archie, listen. Now, listen, son.
01:15:02 Just, uh, no more interference. Yes? Thank you.
01:15:05 I've got a few pounds in the post office.
01:15:08 You want again? Right.
01:15:10 It's not much, mind you, but it's a few pounds.
01:15:12 I'd like you to...
01:15:14 I didn't mean it.
01:15:19 Doesn't he know?
01:15:22 I didn't mean it.
01:15:24 I didn't mean it.
01:15:27 [applause]
01:15:29 # Why should I care?
01:15:41 # Why should I let it touch me?
01:15:45 # Why shouldn't I sit down and try to let it pass over me?
01:15:55 # Why should they stare?
01:15:58 # Why should I let it catch me?
01:16:03 # What's the use of despair
01:16:06 # If they call you a square?
01:16:11 # You're a long time dead
01:16:15 Thanks.
01:16:24 He's a bit down tonight.
01:16:26 Is he?
01:16:28 He'll be all right to me. Does he?
01:16:30 I'm not much in the mood for a show, I suppose.
01:16:36 What happened about the Africa joke?
01:16:41 I turned it down.
01:16:43 Oh, I'm sorry.
01:16:45 Something like it'll turn up again.
01:16:48 Something like you might not.
01:16:50 I can't leave here yet.
01:16:53 I'm too involved.
01:16:55 You do understand, don't you?
01:16:57 I'm beginning to.
01:16:59 Whatever it is, you're up to your ears in it, aren't you?
01:17:02 I'm not much help, am I?
01:17:04 You've been very patient. I don't know why.
01:17:07 Because I love you. That's why.
01:17:11 You'd still rather I went back to London tonight?
01:17:14 Yes, please.
01:17:15 It's not that I don't want you to stay, but...
01:17:18 There's something I've got to see Dad about.
01:17:21 Would you like me to come with you?
01:17:23 No, I'd rather you didn't.
01:17:25 Not tonight.
01:17:27 All right.
01:17:30 Sheets, steal your knickers and sell them for dusting.
01:17:33 No, Mrs. Roberts.
01:17:35 Mrs. Roberts, number seven, Claypit Lane.
01:17:37 Always used to say that.
01:17:38 You're talking about your bloody right-wing old poop.
01:17:40 Don't you talk to your father like that.
01:17:42 I may be an old poop, but I'm not right-wing.
01:17:44 Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
01:17:46 Your dad's a bit slewed.
01:17:48 I don't want to talk to Frank.
01:17:50 I want to talk to Claypit Lane.
01:17:51 She always used to remind me of a bloke I used to know.
01:17:54 Listen, this will interest you.
01:17:56 Because it's Prime Minister's...
01:17:57 Dad, I want to talk to you about Phoebe.
01:17:59 He was Irish, you see, and he did a trampoline act.
01:18:02 And we all used to call him Lady Rosie both ways.
01:18:05 Oh, the enemy of cigar.
01:18:08 Shut up, Frank.
01:18:10 What's the matter with you?
01:18:11 Don't you care what's going to happen to Phoebe?
01:18:18 Jeannie, love, shall I tell you something?
01:18:22 All my life, I've been searching for something.
01:18:25 I've been searching for a draft bass you could drink all evening
01:18:28 without running off every ten minutes,
01:18:30 that you could get drunk on without feeling sick,
01:18:32 and all for four pounds.
01:18:33 Now, the man who could offer me that would really get my vote.
01:18:35 He really would.
01:18:37 Oh, he's funny.
01:18:39 Don't know how to show you're a bit of a bastard.
01:18:41 You really are.
01:18:42 Go on, insult me. I didn't mean it.
01:18:44 Oh, I don't stop being humble.
01:18:45 What's the matter with her?
01:18:46 Don't ask me, son. Don't ask me.
01:18:47 I've never solved a problem in my life.
01:18:48 You can't hurt yourself anymore, can you not?
01:18:50 Even by hurting other people.
01:18:51 Why don't you leave your old man alone?
01:18:52 That's right. Why don't you leave your old man alone?
01:18:54 I'd like to tell you the truth about your father.
01:18:56 He doesn't give a damn about anyone.
01:18:58 He's too penniless of nothing.
01:18:59 I'd say that sums me up pretty well.
01:19:00 Why don't you leave him alone?
01:19:01 Don't you know what he's trying to do?
01:19:03 He wants to divorce Phoebe.
01:19:04 Well, what's going to happen to her?
01:19:06 Love, darling, you can't change anybody.
01:19:08 Have you seen her, this girl he wants to marry?
01:19:11 I caught them together yesterday at Stocks' Cafe.
01:19:13 She's a professional virgin.
01:19:15 Oh, my God, if you're going to start that, I'm going out.
01:19:18 She's pretty, she's spoiled, she's vain and she's stupid.
01:19:21 And her parents are probably stupid, too.
01:19:23 How old is she?
01:19:24 Twenty.
01:19:25 Twenty?
01:19:26 I suppose you think you're going to get them
01:19:27 to put up some money for this new show.
01:19:29 That was the idea.
01:19:33 What do you mean, "was the idea"?
01:19:35 Well, you see, Jeannie, love,
01:19:36 before you started getting fussed about it,
01:19:39 old Billy went and did something, you see.
01:19:41 Yes, he went and saw my little girlfriend's parents
01:19:45 and he told them.
01:19:48 Unfortunately, he did not realize that in the meantime
01:19:51 I had signed a few cheques, you see.
01:19:54 He scotched him.
01:19:56 Oh, yes, completely.
01:19:57 So you needn't worry, Jeannie, love.
01:19:59 I mean about Phoebe, anyway.
01:20:01 Old Archie isn't going to get his oats after all.
01:20:05 [music]
01:20:07 Dad.
01:20:25 Yes?
01:20:28 Oh, why...
01:20:30 [music]
01:20:32 You're like your mother.
01:20:43 She always felt everything very deeply.
01:20:47 Much more deeply than I did.
01:20:52 You're what they call a sentimentalist.
01:20:56 What are you talking about now?
01:20:58 I know.
01:21:00 You think I'm just a tatty old musical actor.
01:21:04 But you know, when you're up here,
01:21:08 when you're up here,
01:21:11 you think you love all those people around you out there.
01:21:17 But you don't.
01:21:20 You don't love them.
01:21:23 Like...
01:21:26 [music]
01:21:28 Oh, if you learn it properly, you'll get yourself a technique.
01:21:33 And smile, don't you?
01:21:34 Smile and look the friendliest, jolliest thing in the world.
01:21:38 But you'll be just as dead and used up.
01:21:44 Just like everybody else.
01:21:47 You see this face?
01:21:52 This face can split open with warmth and humanity.
01:21:58 It can sing,
01:22:01 tell the worst, unfunniest stories in the world
01:22:05 to a great mob of dead, drab urks.
01:22:12 And it doesn't matter.
01:22:15 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because look.
01:22:20 Look at my eyes.
01:22:22 I'm dead behind these eyes.
01:22:27 I'm dead.
01:22:30 Just like the whole dumb, shoddy lot out there.
01:22:37 [music]
01:22:40 Did I ever tell you the most moving thing I ever heard?
01:22:50 Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not a gag. No, honest.
01:22:54 It was when I was in Canada.
01:22:56 I used to slip over the border sometimes,
01:22:58 and one night I heard some negress singing in a bar.
01:23:04 If ever I saw any hope or strength in the human race,
01:23:14 it was in the face of that old, fat negress
01:23:17 getting up to sing about Jesus or something like that.
01:23:24 I never even liked that kind of music,
01:23:27 but to see that old bag singing her heart out to the whole world,
01:23:32 and you knew somehow in your heart
01:23:34 that it didn't matter how much you kicked people,
01:23:37 how much you despised them,
01:23:39 if they can get up and make a pure, just natural noise like that.
01:23:46 There's nothing wrong with that.
01:23:49 If I'd done one thing as good as that,
01:23:54 my whole life I'd have been all right.
01:23:59 [music]
01:24:02 I wish to God I was that old bag.
01:24:08 I'd stand up and shake my great bosom up and down
01:24:14 and lift up my head and make the most beautiful fuss in the world.
01:24:22 Dear God, I...
01:24:26 I'd never do it.
01:24:31 You think you're going to do it?
01:24:40 Well, do you?
01:24:43 I don't know.
01:24:45 I really don't know.
01:24:50 I'll probably do exactly the same as you.
01:24:55 Of course you will.
01:24:58 Mind you, you may have a better job of it.
01:25:02 You're more clever.
01:25:03 Archie.
01:25:05 Aren't you coming home, Archie?
01:25:08 Frank sent me here.
01:25:10 There's a policeman outside asking for you.
01:25:13 What do you think he wants?
01:25:16 It's the income tax man.
01:25:20 I've been expecting him for 20 years.
01:25:24 Don't look so scared, Fabula.
01:25:28 Old Archie's drunk again.
01:25:31 It's over the income tax man.
01:25:34 The policeman's outside with Frank.
01:25:37 What do you think he wants, Archie?
01:25:40 Bastards.
01:25:42 They're rotten bastards.
01:25:45 They've killed him.
01:25:50 They've killed Mick.
01:26:00 [footsteps]
01:26:03 [music]
01:26:27 [singing]
01:26:53 [music]
01:26:56 [music]
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01:28:07 [music]
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