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Brandi and Laz Robinson look like a pretty conventional couple: Laz, 38, works in solar engineering, Brandi, 36, is a stay at home mum who (pre-Covid19) homeschools their three kids and has a penchant for coupon shopping. But behind closed doors they practice domestic discipline, a type of relationship which sees Laz dole out punishments to Brandi, from line writing to spanking. Domestic discipline is where one partner takes on the dominant rule maker (and enforcer) role, while the other partner is the submissive. In the case of the Robinsons, Laz is the ‘head of house’, or HOH, while Brandi is the ‘taken in hand’ or TIH. It also adheres to traditional gender roles with Brandi doing the cooking and housework, while Laz looks after the garden and related manual chores. The pair, from Columbus, Ohio, claim that being in a domestic discipline relationship has made them closer as a couple.
Videographer: Max Rodriguez
Producer: Nathalie Bonney, Ruby Coote, James Thorne, Kim Nguyen
Editor: Beth Angus
Brandi and Laz Robinson look like a pretty conventional couple: Laz, 38, works in solar engineering, Brandi, 36, is a stay at home mum who (pre-Covid19) homeschools their three kids and has a penchant for coupon shopping. But behind closed doors they practice domestic discipline, a type of relationship which sees Laz dole out punishments to Brandi, from line writing to spanking. Domestic discipline is where one partner takes on the dominant rule maker (and enforcer) role, while the other partner is the submissive. In the case of the Robinsons, Laz is the ‘head of house’, or HOH, while Brandi is the ‘taken in hand’ or TIH. It also adheres to traditional gender roles with Brandi doing the cooking and housework, while Laz looks after the garden and related manual chores. The pair, from Columbus, Ohio, claim that being in a domestic discipline relationship has made them closer as a couple.
Videographer: Max Rodriguez
Producer: Nathalie Bonney, Ruby Coote, James Thorne, Kim Nguyen
Editor: Beth Angus
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00 We have been together for 15 years.
00:03 We have been practicing domestic discipline for roughly 10 years.
00:07 You said you only use your hand. That's not true.
00:10 I would not have a similar relationship to my parents.
00:13 We're happier than we have ever been.
00:15 People can say, "Oh, you're abusing your wife," like calling the cops.
00:18 We get a lot of womanist brainwash.
00:21 So I asked her to write a line stating that being submissive is important.
00:25 [Music]
00:31 I love everything about my wife.
00:33 He is very, very loving.
00:36 Like he's sensitive and caring and just loving in general.
00:41 We have been practicing domestic discipline for roughly 10 years.
00:46 A domestic discipline relationship is a dynamic between two consenting adults
00:51 where you have a dominant and a submissive.
00:55 The dominant is usually referred to as the HOH, which is head of household.
00:59 The submissive is referred to as a sub or a TIH, which means taken in hand.
01:04 The dominant sets rules and expectations for the submissive to live by.
01:09 And there are consequences for not following the rules or not meeting those expectations.
01:16 [Music]
01:18 The four Ds are danger, disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty.
01:27 Following up on consequences of being broken under the four Ds,
01:31 it could be from spanking or writing lines, corner time, or just a stern lecture.
01:40 It depends on which rule you broke.
01:44 They all suck.
01:47 [Laughter]
01:49 So I asked her to write a line stating that being submissive is important.
01:54 It was being submissive is very important.
01:57 It's a unique quality to have.
01:59 I will be submissive at all times to my HOH.
02:03 And I had to write 10 pages worth.
02:05 10 pages.
02:06 I don't find writing lines as demeaning.
02:11 It's, I guess, just like any other consequence.
02:14 It's not fun.
02:16 It's tedious, and it sucks, but that's about it.
02:21 Daily household chores would be dishes, cleaning the kitchen, doing the floors,
02:28 double-checking the bathrooms, make sure they don't need to be deep-cleaned.
02:32 That needs to be in the trash can.
02:34 Dining room, table, our bedroom, and usually two to three loads of laundry.
02:41 I do all of the cooking unless it's grilling.
02:44 He does the grilling.
02:50 When Brandi first brought Dee Dee Lifestyle to my attention, I felt kind of awkward.
02:56 I didn't really understand why.
02:59 I kept getting a book recommendation for a book called Spank Your Spouse, Avoid Divorce.
03:06 A lot of it surprisingly made sense, so I just decided to bring it up to him.
03:11 At first, I thought I was hurting my wife.
03:14 It's just a mind thing on that part where it feels awkward, but looking into it, I understood why.
03:24 I have never left a mark, considering a black and purple bruises or anything like that.
03:30 Why do you guys consider this non-abusive?
03:35 We don't consider it to be abusive, one, because it's consensual.
03:39 I don't think people consent to being abused.
03:42 Two, it was my idea, and I had to convince him to do it.
03:47 There's no long-lasting damage.
03:50 It hurts for a little while, and then it goes away.
03:53 Domestic discipline and BDSM are different because in BDSM, there's an enjoyment factor.
04:00 Either you enjoy getting spanked or you enjoy spanking somebody.
04:05 I don't enjoy being spanked.
04:08 He doesn't enjoy doing it.
04:10 There's really not much similarities.
04:12 It doesn't bother me that he doesn't get the same consequences that I do
04:17 because our situations are different and our roles are different, and it wouldn't work.
04:25 I just realized I have 827 member requests today.
04:29 I started the Facebook group with one of my friends who is also in the lifestyle.
04:34 This was a safe space where people can talk, people can vent without worrying about husbands seeing it.
04:42 I think most people choose to remain anonymous because they know that they will get judged for what they do.
04:49 The world sucks when it comes to judging things that they know nothing about.
04:53 People can say, "Oh, you're abusing your wife. I'm calling the cops."
04:56 We get a lot of, "The woman is brainwashed" and stuff like that.
05:00 What the hell was doing this?
05:02 Stop saying "hell."
05:04 Our kids pretty much know everything about domestic discipline,
05:07 more so than the people who be writing the negative articles about it.
05:11 Our kids know pretty much all the ins and outs of it.
05:14 Are you still reading?
05:16 Yeah.
05:18 Is there even questions at the end of this?
05:20 Nope.
05:21 I'm 13 years old. I understand quite a bit about domestic discipline.
05:24 I mean, there may be some things that people find iffy with the rules and how they have set,
05:29 but I don't think anything is too crazy.
05:32 I know some truths.
05:33 They're aware of the lifestyle, but they know it's a choice,
05:36 and they know it's not something that they need to do unless they just decide it's what they want to do.
05:41 I would not have a similar relationship to my parents as I just don't believe it would suit the type of person that I am.
05:46 It's not for everybody.
05:48 It's not for everybody. That is true.
05:50 I think the end's justified. It means because we're happier than we have ever been.
05:55 We get along better than most couples.
05:59 I don't think we could be happy without it anymore.
06:02 It is our life, basically.
06:04 You'd be amazed at how many people actually live this way.
06:07 [Music]
06:10 [Music]
06:13 [BLANK_AUDIO]