GRACE is a ‘tradwife’ or a ‘traditional wife’. She and her husband Bradley believe in ‘traditional’ gender roles. Grace summarises her role as a tradwife as “putting my family’s needs first and their wants first.” The couple have four children together - Leo, eight, Autumn, three, Max, two and 16-month-old Lily. Bradley is the ‘primary breadwinner’ of the household and while he goes out to work, Grace looks after the home, prepares all the meals and does all the care for the children including homeschooling them. Grace has received a lot of judgement for leading a ‘tradwife’ lifestyle from people she knows. She said: “They make comments like ‘oh well, it sounds like you’re just a slave'.” Bradley is also subjected to negativity. He added: “I get a lot of pushback from women who think that I'm manipulative, I'm abusive, I'm controlling, I forced this on her.” The couple feel their belief and practice of gender roles has a ‘healthy’ impact on their children. Bradley added: “Now, if the girls grow up and they want to go see the world, they want to be girl bosses, I'm fine with that. But we have the rest of society to tell them they can do that. I think it's important for us to show them that there's an alternative.”
Social Media Links:
Follow Grace on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@traditionally.grace Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traditionallygrace
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@traditionallygrace
Social Media Links:
Follow Grace on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@traditionally.grace Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traditionallygrace
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@traditionallygrace
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NewsTranscript
00:00We believe in traditional gender roles, and I think it's healthy.
00:03I felt a lot of judgment.
00:05They make comments like,
00:07oh, well, it sounds like you're just a slave.
00:10I get a lot of pushback from women who think that
00:14I'm manipulative, I'm abusive, I'm controlling.
00:18I definitely don't think that I could do the trad wife life.
00:21How would you feel if one of your children rejected traditional gender roles?
00:27Alright, you ready, BB?
00:29Being a trad wife means mostly sacrifice to me.
00:35It's putting my family's needs first and their wants first.
00:38She's helping me get ready.
00:39I'm Bradley.
00:40I'm Grace.
00:41And we believe in traditional gender roles.
00:43We have five children, four together.
00:47My eldest is 16.
00:50And then there's Leo, who's 8, Autumn, who's 3 1⁄2,
00:54Max, who is 2 1⁄2, and then Lily, she's 16 months.
00:59Tell us what a typical day in your family looks like.
01:03Typical day.
01:06I mean, you're not here for a lot of it.
01:09Yeah, I'm going to have to refer to you for most of it.
01:12I wake up before my husband and I'll make sure that I get my face done,
01:16get my hair done, get my outfit on.
01:19So I pick out his work clothes and I set them out
01:22and then I fold his shirt to set on his pants.
01:25He does so much for us.
01:26It's really the least I can do for him, you know.
01:31He doesn't have to stress about it.
01:32He doesn't have to worry if he's got clean clothes.
01:36We initially met in 2009.
01:40I was going through a divorce and I needed somebody
01:44to watch my son that I had from my previous marriage.
01:48So I had been a nanny for six months, where I stayed home, I cooked, and I cleaned.
01:53Over the six months, I definitely developed feelings for her.
01:56I started to develop feelings for him in return.
02:00And we were married in 2014?
02:04Yes, 2014.
02:05Mom, I want milk.
02:07You want milk?
02:09With breakfast you can have milk, okay?
02:11Grace, do you enjoy this part of cooking?
02:13Yes, yes, I do enjoy this part.
02:18I enjoy the challenge it is, too, because I did not grow up knowing how to cook
02:24and so I've had to learn how to cook.
02:28My role is primary breadwinner.
02:30I go out, I work, bring home the bacon, so to speak,
02:35and my paycheck I hand over to her, figuratively, of course.
02:41She does all of the bills, she buys the food.
02:44I am in charge of all of the meal planning and all the meal preparation, all of that.
02:49Who's ready for breakfast?
02:50I am!
02:52All right.
02:53What do we say?
02:54Breakfast!
02:59Who's the best cook in the family, Leo?
03:02Mom.
03:03Tell me about what Daddy cooks.
03:06He doesn't cook really much of anything.
03:09My mommy makes the best casserole.
03:13So what impact do you think these views have on your kids?
03:15As far as seeing the gender role aspect of it, I think it's healthy.
03:21I think that the boys growing up and seeing Dad go out to work
03:25and the boys learn that is what you're going to have to do as a man.
03:29For the girls, I think seeing that Mom takes care of the babies
03:35and they learn kind of that nurturing aspect,
03:40I don't think that that's something that we should shy away from.
03:47Love you.
03:48Love you, too. Drive safe, okay?
03:51Before I was a trad wife, I went to school to be an early childhood educator,
03:58and that really gave me the confidence to be able to homeschool.
04:03I don't really talk about the gender roles with the kids very often.
04:08It comes up with, like, feeding babies with the girls.
04:13So if they do have children, I would like them to breastfeed their children.
04:19Do you want to clean your hands?
04:21How would you feel if one of your children rejected traditional gender roles?
04:26I would really think it would depend on the context.
04:29Like, if one of the girls wanted to go to college and everything,
04:32then there's nothing wrong with that.
04:35Now if the girls grow up and they want to go, you know, see the world,
04:39they want to be girl bosses, I'm fine with that.
04:42We have the rest of society to tell them they can do that.
04:45I think it's important for us to show them that there's an alternative.
04:50I hope and pray that our daughters have an amazing relationship with their husbands
04:57like I do with him.
04:59Like, I have never felt more respected, more loved, protected, taken care of.
05:04I love you, Mama.
05:06There are many people that I'm close to that are opposed to the trad wife lifestyle,
05:12and they make comments like, oh, well, it sounds like you're just a slave.
05:17It's like, oh, well, I don't take it that way.
05:21I get a lot of pushback from women who think that I'm manipulative,
05:27I'm abusive, I'm controlling, I forced this on her.
05:32I've heard the comment, I can't keep my wife in the kitchen.
05:36I get a lot of negativity because I should want to go out and get a job,
05:42but, I mean, I think it's a woman's right to choose, right?
05:46We don't have any friends who have this kind of dynamic of traditional roles.
05:51We do have friends where the woman stays home and takes care of the kids,
05:56but the husband, when he gets home, he's expected to help cook and clean
06:02and do bath time and bedtime routine with the babies.
06:05And, yeah, they just live a completely different way than we do.
06:12Hi! How are you?
06:14Good, how are you?
06:15So my friend Allison is coming today, which I'm super excited. It's been a while.
06:20She lives a very different lifestyle than we do.
06:23Because she's the breadwinner, her boyfriend has to kind of make up the difference in the child-rearing realm.
06:31The way that you choose to raise your kids and your lifestyle, I respect that a lot.
06:38As a mom, it's hard.
06:42It is different, though, because you homeschool your kids.
06:45Yes, I do.
06:46How do you feel like they get socialized?
06:50Well, we have a homeschool group that we meet up with, and so we meet with them at least once a week.
06:56I definitely don't think that I could do the trad wife life.
06:59It's just not something that kind of fits my agenda and how my life kind of rolls, you know.
07:07It's not only it just doesn't work for me, but, you know, it's expensive to live.
07:12It's like kind of balancing, like, okay, do I work and pay for school, or do I stay home and teach them?
07:19I do other things to save us money so we can live like this, because there's some sacrifice, if you will.
07:26Sure, sure.
07:27So, like, I'll go thrifting, same with the cloth diapering.
07:30Right, right.
07:31Yeah, see.
07:32You can't buy meals from scratch at home.
07:34I wish I had the capability to stay at home and, like, take care of my kids and do all of that and be the stay-at-home mom.
07:41It's just, it doesn't work for me.
07:44People do what works for them or what they've seen modeled for them, and a lot of times that just doesn't look like this.
07:53Welcome home.
07:56Hi.
07:57Daddy's home.
07:59What we're doing is working for us.
08:01I couldn't imagine deviating significantly from how we're living now.
08:07Did you have a good day?
08:08What would you guys like to pass on to your kids about your life?
08:12I hope what they take away from it is it's a happy lifestyle, it's a healthy lifestyle, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
08:20I think the best part about being a tradwife is the freedom.
08:25I can set up our schedule however I want.
08:28You make it sound really good.
08:29How do I become a tradwife?