Tiffany Jones 1973 Full Movie - Box Novelas
Tiffany Jones 1973 Full Movie - Box Novelas
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00My Peter can read his book all night if he wants to.
00:00:21His bedside lamp never keeps me awake.
00:00:24You see, with an Everdream soft spring mattress to lie on,
00:00:28I simply float away in a sea of sleep.
00:00:33Everdream, the mattress for you.
00:00:36Stand by!
00:00:37OK, that's fine, Tiffany.
00:00:38We'll shoot this time.
00:00:39Where's the boy?
00:00:40He was coming, mate.
00:00:41Keep hold of that rope there, Charlie.
00:00:42Ah, here you are, love.
00:00:44Hop into bed, will you?
00:00:45I want to get this before lunch.
00:00:46OK, stand by, everyone.
00:00:48Quiet, I say!
00:00:49Stand by, everybody, now, please.
00:00:50Quiet now.
00:00:52Tiffany Jones, Harry Wheeler, your awful wedded husband.
00:00:55Hi, how do you do?
00:00:57All right, fellas, stand by.
00:00:59Start tight on Tiffany, then pull out for the long shot.
00:01:02OK, turn over.
00:01:03Four, take one.
00:01:06Quiet.
00:01:07Action, Tiffany.
00:01:08My Peter can read his book all night if he wants to.
00:01:12His bedside lamp never keeps me awake.
00:01:15You see, with an Everdream soft spring mattress,
00:01:18I simply float away, asleep, asleep.
00:01:23Everdream, the mattress for you.
00:01:25Oh!
00:01:26Oh!
00:01:27Oh!
00:01:27Oh!
00:01:28Oh!
00:01:29Oh!
00:01:30Oh!
00:01:31Oh!
00:01:32Cut!
00:01:34Jim, pull that raft back!
00:01:36You bloody fool, you've lost the rope!
00:01:38Jim, stop that raft!
00:01:40Hey, Mike!
00:01:41Is that all right?
00:01:42We can't!
00:01:43We're drifting!
00:01:44We can't hear!
00:01:46I think Russell and Charlie's made the French worse, sir.
00:01:48It's not funny, Harry.
00:01:50We've lost the rope.
00:01:51What do you want us to do?
00:01:52Stay there.
00:01:53We'll get a boat and tow you in.
00:01:55Somebody get hold of the boat.
00:01:56Phone the Coast Guard.
00:01:57For God's sake, do something.
00:01:59Hey, the tide's going up.
00:02:03So what are we going to do?
00:02:04Stay put till they come for us.
00:02:06It's cold.
00:02:07Hop into bed, love.
00:02:08I'll keep you warm.
00:02:09I can think of plenty of ways to pass the time
00:02:11till we're rescued.
00:02:12Yeah, so can I, but I'm not waiting that long.
00:02:15Hey, what do you think you're doing?
00:02:16I'm going to swim for it.
00:02:17Don't be an idiot.
00:02:19It's freezing.
00:02:19Tiffany, come back!
00:02:21Hold on a second, is it?
00:02:23What's she doing?
00:02:24I'm going to lose my camera phone.
00:02:28Come on, get back on!
00:02:30I can't swim!
00:02:31Help!
00:02:32Tiffany, what the bloody hell are you?
00:02:38Oh, Tiffany.
00:02:40Oh, Tiffany, my love, you should have stayed there.
00:02:45On that raft, with him.
00:02:48We got the shot.
00:02:49It was great.
00:02:50I'll go and organise some brandy while you dry off.
00:02:57Who'd be a model?
00:03:00I would.
00:03:02MUSIC PLAYS
00:03:32MUSIC CONTINUES
00:04:02MUSIC CONTINUES
00:04:32MUSIC CONTINUES
00:04:43MUSIC CONTINUES
00:04:58MUSIC CONTINUES
00:05:02MUSIC CONTINUES
00:05:05Where is the sentry now?
00:05:07The guardhouse.
00:05:08We have 58 seconds.
00:05:10More if we work without the lights.
00:05:13DOG BARKS
00:05:17DOOR CREAKS
00:05:25DOOR CREAKS
00:05:32DOOR CREAKS
00:05:44Forgeac's office.
00:05:45The President's private secretary.
00:05:47President Jebel.
00:05:49DOG BARKS
00:05:52DOG BARKS
00:06:02There it is.
00:06:03Camera, quickly.
00:06:04We might not use a lamp.
00:06:06Torch will do.
00:06:07Hold it steady and turn the pages back and front.
00:06:12Good.
00:06:22MUSIC PLAYS
00:06:29What is this?
00:06:30Ah.
00:06:31Madame President Enix here.
00:06:33Jebel, that pig.
00:06:34He will not marry no woman or take him.
00:06:37So who is it?
00:06:38Who knows?
00:06:39Photograph it anyway.
00:06:45Good, Ian and Antoine, you've done well.
00:06:47The evidence we seek is in this film.
00:06:49What evidence, Comrade Petchuk?
00:06:51Hm.
00:06:52Our kindly and benevolent President Jebel,
00:06:56who so dearly loves women and children
00:06:58that he sends his troops to machine-gun them in the streets,
00:07:01he leaves for London tomorrow.
00:07:03To arrange trade with the British?
00:07:05Ah, that is not the purpose.
00:07:07The newspapers have said...
00:07:08They print what Jebel tells them, all lies.
00:07:10There will be no trade arrangements with the British.
00:07:13It is to cover something else.
00:07:14What?
00:07:15Ah.
00:07:16In London, he will make contact with the agents
00:07:20of a certain power who will provide him with...
00:07:23Guns?
00:07:24Mm, tanks.
00:07:25Rockets?
00:07:26Mm, to crush our fight for freedom.
00:07:29What about the girl?
00:07:30Ah.
00:07:32She remains a mystery.
00:07:35A face we must learn to recognize, perhaps.
00:07:38A contact, surely, Comrade Petchuk,
00:07:40will lead him to the merchants of death.
00:07:42The face looks innocent enough.
00:07:45But somehow I do not trust it.
00:07:48Oh, no, if anything, you.
00:07:50Yeah, with that creep, Harry Wheeler.
00:07:52I've done some stills with him,
00:07:53and I tell you, the man is a cretin.
00:07:55Who's a cretin?
00:07:57Harry Wheeler.
00:07:58We've just caught that Everdream commercial of yours.
00:08:00Oh, is that on already?
00:08:01With a vengeance.
00:08:02That was quick.
00:08:03Very just shaken off the cold I got there, don't you think?
00:08:05Catch another if you sit around the flat half-naked.
00:08:07It's warm enough.
00:08:09And how's my lovely guy?
00:08:11Condition unchanged, Sister Tiffany.
00:08:13What's more to the point?
00:08:14Has the lovely guy eaten?
00:08:15Yes, had some food on the train.
00:08:17I've got to go and get some contacts
00:08:18ready for tomorrow morning.
00:08:19Did you have a good session today?
00:08:21Oh, riveting.
00:08:22Two brainless pinheads in patent chiffon,
00:08:24holding two equally brainless elkhounds on a leash,
00:08:26and all four staring out to sea from the top of each ear.
00:08:28Vogue, of course.
00:08:29Oh, douse.
00:08:30Good night, then.
00:08:31Good night, love.
00:08:32See you.
00:08:36Poor guy.
00:08:39I know, but what can I do about it?
00:08:41Well, maybe wear a few more clothes when he comes in.
00:08:44All this flesh.
00:08:45I didn't know he was here, Jo.
00:08:46You just dropped in while you were having a bath,
00:08:48as usual.
00:08:50I should ignore that remark.
00:08:52Shall we turn that thing up?
00:08:54I think I'd like to see the news.
00:09:01The government announced new economic measures.
00:09:04Another major flood disaster in Pakistan.
00:09:08President Jabal of Zardana arrives at Heathrow Airport
00:09:11under heavy guard to begin a three-week visit to Britain.
00:09:15I'm going to get some food.
00:09:17Do you want your dressing gown?
00:09:19Thanks.
00:09:20Have a good day.
00:09:21Firms applying for subsidies have been asked by the Prime Minister
00:09:24to bear in mind the seriousness of the current economic situation in this country.
00:09:38President Jabal, virtual dictator of Zardana
00:09:42since his Republican Party overthrew King Hajjaj in 1967...
00:09:45I've just started cooking.
00:09:47...arrived at Heathrow Airport this afternoon...
00:09:49I couldn't wait. I'm starving.
00:09:51As he left his private plane for the airport building,
00:09:54the President's car was surrounded and obstructed by angry demonstrators,
00:09:58some of them young Zardanans living in this country.
00:10:06Before leaving the airport, I asked the President
00:10:09the purpose of his visit to Britain,
00:10:11and there has been some speculation.
00:10:13There is no secret about my visit to Great Britain.
00:10:16I'm here to have talks with businessmen
00:10:19and officials of your Board of Trade,
00:10:22to sign certain agreements to improve commerce
00:10:25between Zardana and Great Britain.
00:10:28I see.
00:10:29Mr President, what was your reaction to the demonstrations just now?
00:10:33Many heads of state today have to face these foolish young hooligans
00:10:37who live abroad
00:10:39and have no idea about the state of affairs within their own country.
00:10:42So you're not worried, I mean from the security point of view?
00:10:48No. Why should I?
00:10:51Your British police are wonderful.
00:10:58I have nothing to fear.
00:11:01That man has cruel eyes.
00:11:03Rather sexy, I thought.
00:11:06Thank you.
00:11:08Later, the President left by car for an unknown destination.
00:11:11Put your dressing gown on.
00:11:15Now sport and the result of tonight's Football League Cup fourth round replays.
00:11:20Chelsea 1, Brentford 4.
00:11:29Well, gentlemen, if there is nothing further...
00:11:34Before I leave, Mr President, I'm directed by the Foreign Secretary
00:11:37to extend his personal hope that apart from our treaty discussions,
00:11:40which may or may not have proved harmonious,
00:11:44your visit to Britain may nevertheless be a pleasant one.
00:11:47And that you may derive much pleasure from your contact with such citizens of this country
00:11:51as you may chance to meet during your visit.
00:11:54Mr President.
00:11:55That goes for the Board of Trade too, Mr President.
00:11:58And I shall place your proposals before the Minister first thing in the morning.
00:12:04Thank you, my friends.
00:12:06Karatik, see these gentlemen to their cars.
00:12:24Now, Vorjag, I have a task for you.
00:12:29To be conducted with the utmost speed and secrecy.
00:12:32Excellent, sir.
00:12:34Find this young woman.
00:12:37But her name is not known, nor where she lives.
00:12:40We are not even certain of her nationality.
00:12:43This was taken from a newspaper.
00:12:45Yes, Excellency.
00:12:47And on the back of this newspaper, there is a report of a street accident.
00:12:53So the newspaper office could tell us the date of the issue.
00:12:57Very good, Vorjag.
00:12:59Your brain is beginning to work, at last.
00:13:04The young lady is undoubtedly a well-known personality.
00:13:08Then it will not be difficult to find her.
00:13:11It may not be easy.
00:13:13Find her!
00:13:16Very nice, but very dangerous.
00:13:20I must return to Zardana tonight.
00:13:22There is much work to be done, but you must find this woman.
00:13:26Why, she is so important, comrade.
00:13:28Jabal will contact her during his visit to London.
00:13:32By reason we all know, eh?
00:13:34To buy arms, to maintain himself in power in our country.
00:13:37Precisely.
00:13:38And you and your group will ensure that these arms will fall into our hands.
00:13:42We are only a small unit.
00:13:44We have a few supporters among British students,
00:13:47but it's only Georg, Stefan and myself.
00:13:51Rely on your excellent cover and get the information.
00:13:55We will be watched.
00:13:57With Jabal here, we will have brought secret news.
00:14:01Yes, we must find out what role this girl is to play
00:14:04during Jabal's visit to London.
00:14:08Soon!
00:14:31Hello?
00:14:33Oh, it's you.
00:14:34I'm sorry, I was in the bath.
00:14:36Is it a job?
00:14:38Yes, darling.
00:14:39I've got Mrs. Karekin with me from the Zardana tourist office.
00:14:42Zardana? Do people actually go there?
00:14:45It's to do a poster for them on a sandy beach.
00:14:47Not in Zardana.
00:14:49No, darling, Rotting Dean.
00:14:51But, sweetheart...
00:14:52It's got to be quite sexy.
00:14:54You must be joking.
00:14:56For Zardana? That deadly puritanical police station.
00:15:00The money's very good, Tiffany,
00:15:02but they do want to see you in the flesh.
00:15:04So it seems. When?
00:15:06This afternoon. Three.
00:15:08They'll send a car for you to the flat.
00:15:10OK, I'll be there.
00:15:12Ciao.
00:15:14That's fixed.
00:15:16That's the address. Thank you so much.
00:15:19If you decide to use her, you'll call me at once, won't you?
00:15:22Tiffany gets very booked up.
00:15:24Of course.
00:15:30Yes, hello?
00:15:32Miss Jones?
00:15:34This is Anna Karekin.
00:15:36The car is here for you.
00:15:38OK, coming.
00:15:46Miss Jones?
00:15:48That's me.
00:15:50Please.
00:15:52Hello.
00:15:54Good afternoon.
00:15:56Drive on, please, Borgiaco.
00:15:58What are we going for?
00:16:00You may, Miss Jones,
00:16:02if you play your cards correctly.
00:16:08Has it come?
00:16:10The enlargement, yes.
00:16:12Excellency, it is ready.
00:16:14It is ready.
00:16:16It is ready.
00:16:18It is ready.
00:16:20Yes, Excellency, it is in the machine already.
00:16:23Turn off the light and project it for me.
00:16:25At once, Excellency.
00:16:41Go, Karatek.
00:16:43Shall I switch off, Excellency?
00:16:45Leave it and go.
00:16:47But, Excellency...
00:16:49But, Excellency...
00:17:20Excellency.
00:17:22Yes?
00:17:24The car has arrived from London.
00:17:26Remove the plate.
00:17:28Leave the machine on.
00:17:30Very good, Excellency.
00:17:49Excellency...
00:17:51Excellency, the young woman.
00:18:21her in. place her into the light so that I can see her. excellency. undress her.
00:18:36oh just a minute. your dress. off. what's this? it's a daily in sunshine. that's right
00:18:48miss Jones. well I guess you need a bit of sunshine in that stinking country.
00:18:52that black hearted devil is the president. yes. I am the black hearted president of
00:19:04the People's Republic of Sardinia my dear. how do you do? leave us all of you.
00:19:13excellency should I not. leave us.
00:19:44look do you want me or shall I get dressed and go home? I want you my
00:20:04honey silk girl. oh my dear. after all those years of longing you standing
00:20:12before me like a dream come true. what about the poster? what poster? oh that lady
00:20:21mrs. Carrigan. she said I was wanted for a tourist poster. as the head of my
00:20:25security forces she found you and brought you to me. what for? about three
00:20:30years ago at the airport in Vienna I saw a newspaper on a bookstall. a face
00:20:36young and fresh smiling at me from an advertisement for honey silk shampoo. for
00:20:42the hair, the face, the body. I bought the newspaper and I said to myself on my
00:20:49next visit to London I shall find my honey silk girl. what am I supposed to
00:20:55do? you will stay with me and we we drink wine together and dance and laugh
00:21:04and love. what is your name angel? Tiffany. your name my treasure. Tiffany. now you
00:21:14must not insult the president of Sardinia. what is this Tiffany? Tiffany is my first
00:21:18name. Tiffany Jones. oh oh yes Tiffany. oh breakfast with Tiffany. yes? no. I will buy
00:21:30you fine clothes and magnificent jewels and I will show you off. tomorrow
00:21:35night we go together to the opera. come and kiss your president. you're not my
00:21:42president. I have a monarch. in my country we politicians shoot monarchs like you
00:21:48politicians shoot grouse. I knew you were cruel. Tiffany please be kind. look if you
00:21:57want to take me to the opera tomorrow it'll have to be something I like. oh yes it will
00:22:00be cosi fan tutti. when you want me in a bareback dress with naked shoulders? oh
00:22:04yes. and covered in bruises so everyone will notice. oh no. then stop squeezing me.
00:22:11give me my dress back and let me go home. as you wish my dear and the car will
00:22:17fetch you again tomorrow evening. thank you mr. president. Boris. Boris.
00:22:47what was that woman shouting? she's silly person. she said long live King
00:23:05Ajaz. king of Sardinia. how can king live long when he is dead to you. what did he die of?
00:23:13president Chabot cut his throat ear to ear like pig. just like a pig. oh the dead
00:23:22king I meant naturally. not flipping likely. with him? he's a head of state.
00:23:33he's a creep. creep or no creep I'd go. have the presidential hand resting on
00:23:38your knee all the way through cosi fan tutti. he'll be sitting in a box. lying
00:23:42in it more like. oh well it's your life. yes and I must get up and get it together.
00:23:47yes you must. Rita rang last night. two appointments for you. one at 1030 to see
00:23:53a man about a kinky calendar. who for? some petrol company. apparently a girl
00:23:58holding a spanner glistening with super great motor oil. yeah well I think I'll
00:24:01skip that one.
00:24:04who's the other one?
00:24:06sorry Jo I left my light meter here last night. oh did you? come on in and have a cup of coffee. no I'm in a bit of a hurry love.
00:24:17oh it's you. sorry. oh I'll go and put some clothes on.
00:24:40got what you came for guy? this looks a thing. cup of coffee guy? well I shouldn't but I'd
00:24:47love one. I'll put the kettle on. Jo what about that other job? someone called Salvador.
00:24:53well darling. I don't think so. he called himself to confirm. photographic? he sounded
00:24:59quite young and very polite. that makes a change. whereabouts? Beak Street. I've
00:25:05written it down somewhere. 40 I think. that's the coronet studios. you can hire
00:25:08them. Salvador? I don't know the name at all. so what do you advise a wise guy? a
00:25:14wise guy advises caution. polite young men with cameras can sometimes surprise
00:25:18young girls. I should know. I was one once. what do you mean? I don't know. I just think
00:25:24you're the sort of girl things happen to.
00:25:29not enough salt. I'll put in some more. no no no no leave it. oh they're not
00:25:35complaining. you could serve stewed god in these crazy English people and still
00:25:39come back and bring their friends. but my dear I have discovered the most divine
00:25:43new place to eat. only the English they are not all fools Malachek. this girl
00:25:50here she is very pretty to look at. sexy down blonde.
00:25:57Petchik was right. she has already made contact with Jabbar. what we have to do
00:26:03now is to observe her and she will lead us to the agents who will send arms to
00:26:07Jabbar. only they will give the arms to us and so the Kaylek will be strong.
00:26:13strong enough to seize power in our great country of Zadana and set up a
00:26:17people's government. and Petchik he will reward us for our troubles.
00:26:22you will become commander of trade and industry and I will become the supreme
00:26:26commander of the Zadanian police. and someone else he can put the salt in the
00:26:33goulash. the chef the cuisine will become the chef the police.
00:26:40and Jabbar he will be on his knees polishing your boots.
00:26:46Liberia Zadana!
00:26:49two halibuts steak Zadana one pork chop with chip.
00:26:53mr. Salvador? please come in miss Jones.
00:27:16Rita Wells told me to come here and ask mr. Salvador. she didn't say what the job was.
00:27:22I want to take some pictures of you. head and shoulders or forelimbs? I don't mind.
00:27:27wearing what? anything you like. there are various garments behind the screen. put
00:27:33on what you want and we'll get started. do you want my hair all up? I don't mind.
00:27:37I'll put on some music and set up the camera.
00:27:51well you have been here over 20 minutes sir.
00:28:21look up please. look at me. again. again. what is your connection with president
00:28:36Jabal of Zadana? how did you know? my camera observes many things. why were you
00:28:44at his house yesterday? I don't think there's any concern of yours.
00:28:49lie on your left side. are you friends? why do you want to know? the man is a
00:29:00ruthless murderer. he killed my father King Hajaz of Zadana. set fire to our
00:29:05palace and seized power with his armed thugs. my mother fled with me and she
00:29:10died in exile.
00:29:13Zadana was once a beautiful country when my father was king. now Jabal has
00:29:20defiled and destroyed it. soon it will change. I will kill the swine with my own
00:29:25hand. I will slit his throat as he did my father's and tear him limb from limb
00:29:30scattering his entries in the streets to die slowly in agony as my country has
00:29:36died in agony.
00:29:40and you shall help me miss Jones. me?
00:29:51George.
00:29:59so you see I know nothing of the president and there's other people. the
00:30:03Kylak. the Kylak. yes well with due respect your royal highness I think it's
00:30:09gonna be rather difficult to regain your crown. I mean why don't you come off this
00:30:13fake throne and try facing reality. Jabal is reality. I shall face up to him.
00:30:18now don't do anything stupid and wild. I mean you're nice and you're far too young.
00:30:23how else can I rid my country of this man? let somebody else do it and take the
00:30:28blame. there is of course the Kylak. they are almost as bad. they are
00:30:37revolutionaries. a monarchist cannot make a deal with a Marxist. you'll see him
00:30:43again Jabal. well I haven't planned to but I could. when? tonight if I change my
00:30:49mind and go to the opera with him. how will you let him know? no need. he's
00:30:51sending his car around 7 o'clock. I was gonna have a headache but if it can help.
00:30:55we must try to find some way in which to play off his secret police against
00:31:00the Kylak and win back the throne for the house of Hajjaz. all I can say is
00:31:05that I'll do my best. all right and if you phone me tomorrow at the flat I'll
00:31:10give you the news.
00:31:17the prince and the beggar maid. you are a princess. a true friend.
00:31:23then we will go out for coffee. please. that would be nice your royal highness.
00:31:28you must not call me that. it is dangerous and far too formal. my name is
00:31:34Salvador. Sal. okay Sal. I'll do the steaks. and you can to can the wine while I do
00:31:44the spices. got any placements? that's two and some candles. top drawer. right.
00:31:48I will give Tiffany a nice surprise. how old are you by the way? 82. idiot. I'll put
00:31:55these in water. oh in the bathroom love. right. oh my god. not again. yes I'm sorry I
00:32:06didn't realize you were here. we thought you were still out. I never lock the door. I wanted to get some
00:32:11water for these for the table for this evening. Joe and I got some steaks for a
00:32:15birthday dinner for the three of us. I'll get the water from the kitchen. I'm sorry.
00:32:23Tiffany's in the bath. what? I never heard her. how long have you been back?
00:32:30about half an hour. whose birthday? Guy's. he's brought some steaks and a couple of
00:32:36bottles of wine. oh no. why? you don't know why. I've got to go out tonight Joe.
00:32:42but you can't. not tonight. I must. I'm being taken to the Opera. not Chabal. yes.
00:32:49well I've changed my mind. why? because you said I should have the experience. not on Guy's birthday.
00:32:56but I didn't know it was. it'd be terribly hurt. I'll explain it to him later. he'll understand in
00:33:01the end. I suppose you know what you're up to. someone might quite likely shoot at him. well
00:33:06if they do I shall duck. you know how quick I am. if you're going out you better get dressed and
00:33:12I'll have to break the news to Guy. oh look Joe. I'm sorry. I mean don't ask me any questions.
00:33:18there are reasons. your passionate love for Mozart for example? yes well that will have to be the
00:33:23reason. or is it the president's cruel eyes?
00:33:28I love that bit. don't you boys?
00:33:30I love that bit. don't you boys?
00:33:32I love that bit. don't you boys? if you love it I love it my treasure.
00:34:01have they got an opera house in Manchuria? they used to have. it is to police barracks now.
00:34:10in my country internal security comes before music because the people of Cerdana are ignorant fools
00:34:19to try to let off bombs in the street and smash windows because they do not appreciate what I've
00:34:25done for them. it is order and discipline I brought to them for their own good.
00:34:31perhaps we should not talk politics. spoil the evening. would you like to have some more chicken?
00:34:46no thank you.
00:34:52you know when I have a lot of money I'm gonna have you blown up. I beg your pardon? your face
00:35:00over my bed. well I've already had president Nixon and George Best blown up already and you're gonna
00:35:09be next. this is most gratifying to be admired by a beautiful English girl. what president would
00:35:17not be flattered. remove the plates. go to bed. leave the champagne. just a minute.
00:35:28and now my dear we shall not be disturbed.
00:35:42Boris don't spoil my admiration for you. don't disillusion me. I know it's not the real you.
00:35:49only fascist pigs and bourgeois people behave like that. you're a fine man of honor. a leader.
00:35:55let us keep this relationship on a pure romantic elegant level. I want to possess you Tiffany. I want your body.
00:36:05it's not like that with me. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I need to be wooed romantically charmingly.
00:36:13if you want our love to last. oh yes it must. well let this evening end now while it's still
00:36:20fresh. I have a slight headache. you send me home now. I'll telephone you in the morning.
00:36:25very well if you promise me to be nice the next time. what time may I telephone you?
00:36:34what what are my appointments tomorrow? at 11 o'clock you are to see mr. Wilson and mr.
00:36:45foot. at 6 p.m. you are due at the Hilton Hotel. phone me about lunchtime. order a car.
00:36:56miss Jones is leaving. she has a slight headache. yes excellency.
00:37:01excuse me. yes miss. where are we going? this isn't the way back to Chelsea. this is the Harrow Road.
00:37:21I have my orders. your orders were to take me home. those were the orders of president Jabbar.
00:37:28exactly. then carry them out or you'll be in trouble. no lady. Jabbar dirty dog. my orders
00:37:36from good people. what are you talking about? where are you taking me? to good people. you will see.
00:37:58get out now. what's going on? good people of Sardinia. are you a royalist? no talk. go in.
00:38:29it's gone too. where can she be? either in the president's bed or being shot by a firing squad
00:38:36for refusing her favors. don't be so dramatic. you know it's all my fault if anything happens
00:38:42to her. I pushed her into it. well this time you didn't. she said she had her own reasons.
00:38:46do you remember? whatever that might mean. unless she's got herself involved in some
00:38:51sinister political plot. Tiffany wouldn't get mixed up in politics. she would if her
00:38:56heart was involved. if you refuse to answer my questions young woman we may have to try
00:39:03other methods of persuasion. I've told you everything I know already. that is a lie. we
00:39:10have concrete evidence that Jabbar planned to contact you here in London. the question is why?
00:39:14I've told you. he saw my picture in an advert in a newspaper. he liked the look of me. rubbish!
00:39:20president Jabbar does not fall in love with advertisements. look it's true. he cut the
00:39:26picture out and he kept it. you expect us to believe that? oh you must believe me. I mean I
00:39:31only went to the opera tonight because he begged me to. there's no other reason I swear. there is
00:39:35another reason and you are going to tell us it. if you refuse Stefan here will ladle the
00:39:42consomme julienne onto those naked shoulders of yours one spoonful at a time until you choose to
00:39:51tell us the truth. oh no please. you should not do this comrade Maricek. it is barbarism.
00:39:57I can't stand it. shut up Georg and stand by with the wet dishcloth. the consomme is very hot
00:40:05miss Jones. our customers like this soup. are you going to cooperate? there's no other reason I
00:40:14swear it unless you want me to invent something. look there's nothing between the president and
00:40:18me. I mean except friendship. we're just good friends. this man is the devil. a fiend incarnate
00:40:25contaminated by death. I'm sure he is in his own country but it's no business of mine. I mean I'm
00:40:31quite fond of him really. you are fond of this murderer. shall I serve the consomme? no really
00:40:38look I didn't mean that. I mean he's polite. he's harmless. I mean he's done nothing to me. I would
00:40:42suggest a menu of hot soup over her shoulders followed by a whipping with spaghetti and wet
00:40:49dishcloths. if she still refuses to talk well I could always rub the cheese grater up and down
00:40:55her back a little. no! you go too far. she is a woman. enough Stefan. you are not very subtle in
00:41:03your methods. we will leave the pretty young lady alone for an hour or two. we'll turn up the ovens
00:41:09and warm up the little lady and we'll come back and try again in an hour or so. I pity miss Jones.
00:41:16you would have been very good without soup. you must contact Perchik on the report progress. make
00:41:24sure the pretty young thing does not escape you.
00:41:56home safely. I am returning now excellency.
00:42:26no. no. go away from me. you are very beautiful miss Jones.
00:42:57come let us try to make the girl talk again. yes I have a few more ideas Marachik. how about a bowl
00:43:08of vermicelli on her... switch on the lights Georg and put a frying pan in the oven. we will again
00:43:20try the question. where is the girl? she was too strong for me. Karl Marx never liked friends best
00:43:38decadent bourgeois! she will not have got far without her clothes. how can I ever thank you
00:43:54Georg? if you let me I could show you. I haven't got time. one day maybe. one day your country
00:44:01will reward you. viva Hachas, viva la Zidana. by the way thanks guy. what for? your company. I know
00:44:18it wasn't the sort of evening you planned. oh it was fun. we had a good old natter. yes. a couple of
00:44:22old stay-at-homes. maybe we should get married. name the day. I wish I didn't love that bird so
00:44:28much. it happens. hello? where the hell are you? I'm in a call box in Halston dressed as a cook. no
00:44:44don't worry I'm okay. I'll be home later. I've got to go and see someone. we had a great dinner and a
00:44:56gossip. how was Cosy? rather more fine-tooted than cosy. look love I've got to rush. I'll see you in
00:45:02the morning. okay bye. I think we've got to face up to the fact that Tiffany Jones is round the bend.
00:45:56I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to go and see someone. look love I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush. I've got to rush.
00:46:26and the water remains as the last people of all.
00:46:30and the sea shall rise in the eyes of the magical.
00:46:36the sea of love and the hope...
00:46:49I wasn't expecting anyone.
00:46:52your father?
00:46:54King Hajaz. at the opening of Parliament 1963.
00:47:00four days before Jabal's men killed him.
00:47:03I see.
00:47:05I try to learn from him what I can.
00:47:07in case...
00:47:09one day...
00:47:17you are looking tired Tiffany. sit down.
00:47:20may I? just for a while.
00:47:23I think I've got some information for you.
00:47:25oh good. wonderful.
00:47:35oh. how did you lose your clothes?
00:47:38the Kyrak caught me.
00:47:40the Kyrak? but they are worse than Jabal's secret police.
00:47:43have they hurt you? no.
00:47:45thanks to one of their men called Georg.
00:47:48oh sir I'm exhausted.
00:47:50sleep a little.
00:47:52while I prepare some coffee and eggs.
00:47:54thanks.
00:47:56I will lend you something to put on
00:47:58and we will have breakfast together.
00:48:00hmm sounds lovely.
00:48:02and when you are feeling stronger
00:48:04you must tell me more of the Kyrak
00:48:06and your evening with Jabal.
00:48:12then we shall make our plans.
00:48:14yes?
00:48:16who?
00:48:18I've told the lady all incoming calls to Beechgrove are restricted.
00:48:20but she insists on being connected sir.
00:48:22did she give a name?
00:48:24yes. Tiffany Jones.
00:48:26ah. put the caller through.
00:48:28the president will take it personally.
00:48:30ah.
00:48:32ah. put the caller through.
00:48:34the president will take it personally.
00:48:44yeah.
00:48:46good morning my little eucalyptus tree.
00:48:48not at all. not at all.
00:48:50it's a South London branch
00:48:52of the photographic model girls union.
00:48:54we have a garden party every year
00:48:56after our AGM.
00:48:58a trade union for girls?
00:49:00sounds interesting.
00:49:02we always invite a very distinguished leader of the labor movement.
00:49:04Big Feather came last year.
00:49:06so if you and mr. Borjach
00:49:08would like to come this year
00:49:10oh Boris. how's super?
00:49:12about 2.30
00:49:14but we shall have to be back at 5 o'clock
00:49:16for a meeting in London.
00:49:18that's all right. you'll be fed up with them all by then.
00:49:20look tell your chauffeur the house is called Copson.
00:49:22it's a mile out on the leatherhead road
00:49:24from Esher.
00:49:26it belongs to a friend of mine who makes films.
00:49:28you will be there too
00:49:30my little wildflower?
00:49:32naturally.
00:49:34I'm the general secretary of the union.
00:49:36see you tomorrow.
00:49:40that's phase one fixed.
00:49:42excellent. now there are two things you must do.
00:49:44first contact the men from Chicago.
00:49:46and?
00:49:48see that Jabal does not sign the contract with them.
00:49:50how do we stop him?
00:49:52arrange for somebody else to do it.
00:49:54who?
00:49:56...
00:49:58...
00:50:00...
00:50:02...
00:50:04...
00:50:06I'll write down what I want
00:50:08and you take it down to the chef.
00:50:10madame?
00:50:12there.
00:50:14...
00:50:16...
00:50:18...
00:50:20...
00:50:22...
00:50:24...
00:50:26...
00:50:28...
00:50:30...
00:50:32...
00:50:34...
00:50:36...
00:50:38...
00:50:40...
00:50:42...
00:50:44...
00:50:46...
00:50:48...
00:50:50...
00:50:52Bring her down.
00:51:09What is your business?
00:51:23Gail has already been severely punished for your escape.
00:51:27So hit me with a cucumber.
00:51:29You are a Republican spy, why do you come here?
00:51:31I think Jabal has ruined your country and I want to see him thrown out.
00:51:35So I've come to help.
00:51:36Yes.
00:51:37God's honor.
00:51:39You can prove this?
00:51:40Yes.
00:51:41How?
00:51:42I've got some very important information.
00:51:43What?
00:51:44There are two men from Chicago going to meet Jabal and Borjach at the Hilton tomorrow evening
00:51:48at six.
00:51:49Room number?
00:51:50How can I forget?
00:51:51Suite 16.
00:51:53So you want us to break in there and kill them, eh?
00:51:55No, we need these arms for ourselves.
00:51:58Exactly.
00:51:59Now, I don't think these Americans will know one Zidane from the other.
00:52:02I mean, you all look alike.
00:52:05Ah, you want me to act as President Jabal.
00:52:08No, not you.
00:52:09Jabal's fat.
00:52:10He's fat.
00:52:11Oh, Gail.
00:52:12And Stefan looks like Borjach.
00:52:16This is a trap.
00:52:18Oh, it isn't.
00:52:19I swear it.
00:52:20How can we ensure, however, that Borjach and Jabal do not arrive at the hotel?
00:52:25Look, you must leave that to me.
00:52:26And Karate, he's Jabal's chauffeur.
00:52:28Is this the bold and desperate plan?
00:52:31Worth trying, yes?
00:52:34Yes.
00:52:36Right.
00:52:37I shall now go to the restaurant and prove my trust by having lunch.
00:52:40What's the speciality today?
00:52:42Consomme Julienne.
00:52:44It's ice not, followed by a goulash.
00:52:48I'll risk it.
00:52:52We must carry out this plan, but we must proceed with the greatest of care.
00:52:57Now, Stefan.
00:52:59Georg.
00:53:00How dare you speak to me like that?
00:53:03I am your president, vile dog.
00:53:07You will address me as your excellency.
00:53:10A meeting has been arranged, your excellency.
00:53:14If you will kindly step this way.
00:53:18Have my private plane ready at two, Borjach.
00:53:21I wish to visit the outer provinces and shoot some peasants.
00:53:27Shut up!
00:53:34Two bowl of beef with dumplings, one goulash and chips.
00:53:57Hey!
00:54:14Hey, Ed.
00:54:15Yeah?
00:54:16If you want to take a shower, I'm all through.
00:54:18Okay, just grab a cup of coffee.
00:54:20You know something? I like this town.
00:54:22Yeah?
00:54:23Too bad we have to fly out tonight. I'd like to take a look at the Coliseum.
00:54:26What city is this at?
00:54:28Paris, France, I guess.
00:54:30You sure?
00:54:31Madrid, maybe.
00:54:33I'll check with the desk.
00:54:35Give me the bell, Captain.
00:54:37Can you tell me what town I'm in?
00:54:39Thanks.
00:54:40London, Ike.
00:54:41We're going to finalize the deal with that pink old president, remember?
00:54:44Tito?
00:54:45Jabal.
00:54:47Hello, what's this?
00:54:49What's what?
00:54:51Abroad.
00:54:52Who are you?
00:54:54Well, the door was open and I walked in.
00:54:56Well, what are you doing behind the curtain?
00:54:58Well, I thought that you two might be quite decent, so to avoid any embarrassment...
00:55:02Oh, who are you, honey?
00:55:04Me?
00:55:05Yeah, you. You're not the chambermaid, are you?
00:55:07No.
00:55:08Oh, I'm Tiffany Jones from the old Mayan Escorpura.
00:55:11Escorpura?
00:55:12Yes, with the compliments of the president of Sedona.
00:55:14I get it.
00:55:15Jabal delivers the bronze to the hotel.
00:55:18You must want this deal real bad.
00:55:21Come on, baby, have a drink.
00:55:23Look at you, huh?
00:55:25We're not supposed to be shaking around the town in the morning.
00:55:28Well, what about tonight?
00:55:30Oh, we're flat out tonight.
00:55:31Not till 2 a.m.
00:55:32We've got plenty of time for fun.
00:55:33Hey, you got a friend?
00:55:34Oh, well, I could arrange for another lady escort if you require it.
00:55:37Okay, 7 o'clock?
00:55:38Okay.
00:55:39All right, well, 7 o'clock, Gulliver's Bar, Kozlowski.
00:55:42With your friend.
00:55:50You know something?
00:55:52Ah, makes me feel good.
00:55:53Randy.
00:55:54I know.
00:55:55It's the climate.
00:55:56By the way, she's mine, that one.
00:55:57You're gonna have a friend.
00:55:58Uh-uh, I saw her first.
00:56:00Okay, maybe I'll keep my options open
00:56:02till I get a look at her friend.
00:56:05You keep your paws open till you lose some weight.
00:56:07Look who's talking, spare rib.
00:56:22Oh, God, again.
00:56:48Sorry.
00:56:49Joe's out.
00:56:50I sometimes wonder whether you actually own any clothes.
00:56:52I was sticky after a session.
00:56:53Where?
00:56:54At the Hilton.
00:56:55Anyone I know?
00:56:56Oh, two Americans with some sort of an audition.
00:56:59What is this favour?
00:57:01Where is it?
00:57:02And when?
00:57:03Well, there's going to be a sort of a garden party this afternoon at 2 o'clock.
00:57:06Can he come?
00:57:07What are you up to?
00:57:08I can't tell you, not yet.
00:57:10All I know is that if you do get some pictures,
00:57:13you'll probably make Parry Match, Odgy and Stern.
00:57:15Say nothing of Private Eye, Time Magazine and the Daily Mail.
00:57:18I promise.
00:57:20Yes, according to plan, yes.
00:57:22All right, I'll chance it for you.
00:57:26Thank you, guys.
00:57:27Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:57:50Welcome, Your Excellency, to our little gathering.
00:58:04My little orange blossom.
00:58:06Mr. Borgia, come and meet the rank and file membership, Riley.
00:58:20Be careful, boys.
00:58:41Remember the Dubrovnik Film Festival last year.
00:58:44Your blood pressure.
00:58:50Sisters, let us welcome His Excellency, the President of Zadana,
00:59:06who has come to honour us with his presence.
00:59:12Ladies, I see here a fine body of women workers.
00:59:19You have not seen since my last visit in Moscow.
00:59:22I am most happy to be with you today.
00:59:28But the fine body of women workers serve too, eh?
00:59:41Tea, Your Excellency.
00:59:43Oh, thank you, my dear.
00:59:45So dreadfully hot, isn't it?
00:59:47What, the tea?
00:59:49The weather.
00:59:50Do you mind if I ignore protocol and remove my gloves and my hat?
00:59:53Oh, of course not, my dear.
00:59:55This is an informal occasion, isn't it?
00:59:57If you say so, Your Excellency.
01:00:12His Excellency says to ignore protocol and remove hats and gloves.
01:00:19Oh!
01:00:31A piece of cake, Mr President.
01:00:34Oh, thank you, my dear.
01:00:37Just hold the plate, please. I'm boiled.
01:00:46That's better. Thank you.
01:00:48Thank you.
01:01:18Thank you.
01:01:49Do-do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do.
01:01:55Who will laugh at all catastrophe?
01:02:01Who is where most girls should never be?
01:02:07But nevertheless, I must confess it so.
01:02:12Wherever she goes, I want to be.
01:02:15Mr Borgia, more tea?
01:02:17My God, Western decadence.
01:02:21Would you like me to oblige?
01:02:24Yes, please.
01:02:25Tiffany Jones, Tiffany Jones, hello.
01:02:31Tiffany Jones, Tiffany Jones, Tiffany Jones, Tiffany Jones.
01:02:45Oh, Boris, feel perspiring.
01:02:50Let me loosen your collar a little.
01:02:52Yes, please.
01:02:53Men in the room, too.
01:02:55Oh, I didn't expect you, Nicole.
01:02:57I'm sure the girls will be fine.
01:02:59No, please. No, I cannot.
01:03:00We know you're the president from your uniform.
01:03:03Why don't you see the real man underneath?
01:03:05No, no, please. I'm the president of the...
01:03:10Please.
01:03:14Please.
01:03:45Please.
01:04:00You too, Borgia.
01:04:01Alas, Excellency, the girls were most persuasive.
01:04:06I understand it's the custom here in warm weather.
01:04:09If the cabinet council could see you now.
01:04:13And if the cabinet could see you, Your Excellency, if I may say so.
01:04:17No, you may not say so.
01:04:19I'm the president.
01:04:20I can wear what I like.
01:04:22You're my private secretary.
01:04:24You look like a...
01:04:27Like a fat, yellow, poor boy.
01:04:35How about a swim?
01:04:36Oh, yes.
01:04:37Throw me in the water.
01:04:39Then we can see if you can swim like a poor boy.
01:04:43What about you, Borgia?
01:04:44Yes, yes, no. No, no, no.
01:04:46Come on. I'll teach you.
01:04:47No, no. I cannot swim.
01:04:56I am Václav Vozhak, private secretary to the president.
01:04:59If you will kindly hand over the documents, I will sign on behalf of the government of Zadana.
01:05:05It's good, eh?
01:05:07It's got to be good.
01:05:09I can't do it.
01:05:12I am ill.
01:05:13You will do as you're told.
01:05:15For your country, and for the better cause, yes?
01:05:18You should not slap your president.
01:05:20No.
01:05:21No.
01:05:32No, no, no. Don't hide the flag, karate.
01:05:35President ordered today there should be no flag flying.
01:05:38We're speaking with the Americans.
01:05:42He wants to visit the hotel incognito.
01:05:44We shall go to the side door.
01:05:47Open the door.
01:05:48I refuse.
01:05:49Vozhak should open the door for his president.
01:05:51Open the door.
01:05:52All right.
01:05:53Yes, open the door.
01:05:54Open the door.
01:06:10Down six here. You ready, Ed?
01:06:12Yeah, sure.
01:06:13Well, how do I look?
01:06:15OK to meet a head of state?
01:06:17Head of state, my ass.
01:06:18Top bully boy of some one-horse comic upper territory in Eastern Europe.
01:06:23Now, look, Ike, a client's a client.
01:06:26Berdanyan does as good as anyone else's.
01:06:28OK, so he's a client, so he wants arms,
01:06:30and we supply him with a shipment of rusty Sherman tanks
01:06:33and 300 Serbian service rifles, manufactured in 1917.
01:06:38Don't tell him that.
01:06:39You crazy?
01:06:40OK, so Jabar wants a load of crap to keep him on top.
01:06:43He pays dollars and goes home with a smile,
01:06:45but don't give me any of that head of state routine.
01:06:48This guy's a no-good foreign bomber.
01:06:51He issues the President Shabell of Havana.
01:07:14Would your highness care for a drink before we talk business?
01:07:16He would not.
01:07:17We wish to settle the business as soon as possible.
01:07:21You have the contract, gentlemen?
01:07:23Contract?
01:07:24Listen, your highness, all you have to do is to give us a dole,
01:07:27and we radio the Red Sea Transport Company
01:07:29to make delivery straight to the port of Manchu.
01:07:33Manchu?
01:07:34Or wherever, right after you hand over the dole.
01:07:37Hand over the dole?
01:07:38The payment, Mr. President.
01:07:40The bread.
01:07:42Mr. President, much as we admire your country, we're businessmen.
01:07:46We can't go around the world delivering arms to foreign powers for nothing.
01:07:50You have to pay for it like anything else.
01:07:52Like you buy things in a store.
01:07:54Yes, of course, of course.
01:07:56If you'll excuse us, we have to make a telephone call.
01:07:59Go ahead, Mr. Secretary. There's the phone.
01:08:02Privately.
01:08:03Right in there.
01:08:05If you will accompany me, your excellency,
01:08:07we will telephone our capital and consult with our Minister of Finance.
01:08:11You do that.
01:08:12About the payment.
01:08:14Go ahead, Mr. Secretary.
01:08:20I don't like the smell of it.
01:08:22I think they're stalling.
01:08:24Maybe they figured the deal was for credit.
01:08:26It says cash in the contract.
01:08:28They'll raise it.
01:08:30Yes, yes, yes, yes, I know.
01:08:32But if the ship sails into Manchu,
01:08:34the state police will seize the arms.
01:08:36Of course they will, you fools.
01:08:38Tell your American friend,
01:08:40the ship will land at Menjiki on the northern coast.
01:08:43Now, the dockers there are loyal to the Kailak cause.
01:08:46Very good, comrade.
01:08:48But the payment.
01:08:50They keep asking for the dough.
01:08:52Give us the bread, they say, and we will hand over.
01:08:55Give us the bread and we will hand over.
01:08:58No bread, no arms, eh?
01:09:00I will call Petschek.
01:09:02And then I will ring you back.
01:09:04Wait for me to do so.
01:09:06Okay, okay.
01:09:08Okay, but be quick, eh, comrade, please.
01:09:10Before Holchak and Jabal get here.
01:09:14No, nothing here.
01:09:16I can't see a thing.
01:09:18You up, are you?
01:09:20No.
01:09:22But he must be around here somewhere.
01:09:24This is most unfortunate.
01:09:26We have an important appointment at 6 o'clock
01:09:28and it's 20 past already.
01:09:30You're sure the hotel suite was engaged?
01:09:32Oh, absolutely.
01:09:34But I left a message at the reception
01:09:36to say you'll be delayed.
01:09:38We found a suit in the cupboard, if it fits.
01:09:40Well, why not go and put them on?
01:09:42At least you've got something to wear.
01:09:44Oh, we have no choice.
01:09:46Go and warn Karadik that we leave in five minutes.
01:09:48The car has gone excellent, sir.
01:09:52I'm afraid I sent the chauffeur out to get some cigarettes.
01:09:54What is going on?
01:09:58Oh.
01:10:12Oh.
01:10:26We regret the delay, gentlemen,
01:10:28but our finance minister,
01:10:30he may be having trouble to get through, yes?
01:10:32Not wishing to be discourteous,
01:10:34Mr. Secretary,
01:10:36but we have another meeting at 7 o'clock
01:10:38and we're checking out of here first.
01:10:41Yes, please, please, gentlemen,
01:10:43if you would just be patient, please.
01:11:07Chicago dealers
01:11:09say require bread
01:11:11before delivery
01:11:13of arms shipment.
01:11:15Instruct.
01:11:17That's all?
01:11:19Yes, governor.
01:11:21Okay, send back
01:11:23from Kailak Majul
01:11:25to Kailak London.
01:11:27We'll fly
01:11:29to London tonight
01:11:31on my own private
01:11:33personal plane.
01:11:35Land, usual air strip.
01:11:38Have Chicago dealers
01:11:40there
01:11:42where payment will be made.
01:11:44Mortage about.
01:11:46Signed.
01:11:58And if any of my subjects
01:12:00refuse to obey my laws,
01:12:02I have them chopped up
01:12:04for the stew in the kitchen
01:12:06of my palace.
01:12:08We have a dish in Zerdana,
01:12:10very expensive,
01:12:12only served in the best restaurants.
01:12:14It is called
01:12:16casserole of citizen.
01:12:20It is made from executed people
01:12:22who stand in the way
01:12:24of President Jabal.
01:12:28That's me, you understand.
01:12:32Excuse me.
01:12:35Yes.
01:12:37Yes.
01:12:39I understand.
01:12:41I will ask them to agree
01:12:43to this arrangement, yes.
01:12:459.30 at the air strip.
01:12:47Thank you.
01:12:49I'm sure your president
01:12:51will reward you
01:12:53for your prompt action.
01:12:55Thank you.
01:12:57Gentlemen, I must ask
01:12:59of you a favor.
01:13:01Our finance minister is flying
01:13:03Oh, hell, he doesn't have to do that.
01:13:05But he wishes to make payment to you personally.
01:13:07On an air strip?
01:13:09Yes, Kirkbridge Airfield.
01:13:11It is but 15 miles away.
01:13:13We have another date in 10 minutes,
01:13:157 o'clock.
01:13:17If you wish to be paid,
01:13:19you will be at the rendezvous.
01:13:21Certainly, Mr. President,
01:13:23if that's what you want.
01:13:25We'll be there, 9.30.
01:13:27That is correct.
01:13:29Mr. Secretary.
01:13:32Thank you.
01:13:48We'll have time for a couple of drinks
01:13:50for the broads, I guess.
01:13:52I'll have to explain.
01:13:54That's okay, we'll figure something out.
01:14:02Tell Miss Jones
01:14:04the mission was successful
01:14:06and give her this note.
01:14:08I hope to be quick.
01:14:10I must get back to the president
01:14:12before he misses me.
01:14:14Here are your clothes.
01:14:16Now, quick!
01:14:18Spawn of a Hungarian harlot,
01:14:20offspring of a Transylvanian tart,
01:14:22where have you been?
01:14:24Excellencies, my apologies.
01:14:26There was a queue
01:14:28in the cigarette shop.
01:14:30And yet we are 45 minutes late
01:14:32for a most important appointment.
01:14:34Drive to London quickly
01:14:36or you face a firing squad.
01:15:00Dear beautiful Miss Jones,
01:15:02Gaelic leader Pecek
01:15:04settles deal with American gangsters
01:15:06tonight at Airfield.
01:15:08Thank you.
01:15:10Your admirer, Georg.
01:15:14Oh!
01:15:16Which airfield?
01:15:26Who the hell are you?
01:15:29All right, wise guy.
01:15:31Oh, you fat, foreign bum!
01:15:33Goddamn young...
01:15:45They've just checked out.
01:15:47We are too late.
01:15:59Karatik!
01:16:05Karatik, when you came back
01:16:07from the village this afternoon,
01:16:09why did you not give Miss Jones
01:16:11her cigarettes?
01:16:13She did not ask for them.
01:16:19You know, we have your wife
01:16:21in our custody
01:16:23back in Manchuria.
01:16:25Yes, Excellency.
01:16:27I would release her
01:16:29to join you here in London.
01:16:31No, no, Excellency.
01:16:33Not my wife, no, Excellency.
01:16:37Then you will have to answer
01:16:39one or two questions.
01:16:43Listen, how else can we get
01:16:45to the airport unless we go with them?
01:16:47If I get raped tonight,
01:16:49I'll never regain my throne.
01:16:51I'll do the talking.
01:16:53If Pecek is flying over with the money
01:16:56and the Americans are at the airstrip to receive it,
01:16:58how can we stop the shipment
01:17:00from reaching the Cadillac in Zirdan?
01:17:02Well, that's why we're here.
01:17:04Shh!
01:17:08Hey, they're at a brunch.
01:17:14Hey, what do you say, girls?
01:17:16Hello there!
01:17:18Hi! Oh, let me introduce you to my friend Sal.
01:17:20I'm afraid she's lost her voice.
01:17:22Too bad. Well, let's set off some drinks.
01:17:24You don't?
01:17:26Yeah, we gotta be out in the country
01:17:28someplace by 9.30. Sorry, kid.
01:17:30No, whereabouts?
01:17:32Business, honey, business.
01:17:34Hey, why don't we all link up later?
01:17:36We don't fly out the car until 2.30 a.m.
01:17:38Look, could I make a suggestion?
01:17:40Sure.
01:17:42Perhaps we can go with you?
01:17:44Not a chance.
01:17:46Well, maybe we could have dinner
01:17:48at a motel afterwards?
01:17:50Motel?
01:17:53Perfect!
01:17:55Hey, Sal, how do you fancy a little blowout
01:17:57in the country?
01:17:59Oh, well, a little bit of fresh air
01:18:01will do Sal's throat the world of good.
01:18:03Great, well, let's get some drinks.
01:18:05How about you, Miss Jones?
01:18:07Um, I'll have a Campari, please.
01:18:09Sally? Oh, she'll have the same.
01:18:11Ed? Scotch on the rocks.
01:18:13Oh, look, while you're getting the drinks,
01:18:15do you mind if us girls go make a phone call?
01:18:17Do that.
01:18:19Just let our moms know we're gonna be a little bit late.
01:18:21You know she worries.
01:18:43Hello?
01:18:45Guy? Tiffany?
01:18:47Listen, I have a colourful scarf.
01:18:50Oh, I can assure you it's not.
01:18:52Listen, have you had those negatives developed yet?
01:18:54Yeah, sure. If the fuzz picked me up, I'd get busted for pushing porn.
01:18:56Oh, that's good.
01:18:58They are really scandalous, yes?
01:19:00Are they scandalous? Good.
01:19:02Listen, put the negs in the back of your car.
01:19:04Come on down to Gulliver's and lie up outside the bar.
01:19:06Tiffany? Yes, listen, I've got to hurry.
01:19:08I've got to leave in about 15 minutes
01:19:10with two Americans and a girlfriend of mine.
01:19:12Now listen, Tiffany.
01:19:14Look, I've got to hurry. Listen, you come down, follow me,
01:19:16and I'll contact you when we get wherever we're going.
01:19:18Look, don't forget to bring those negs.
01:19:20OK? Bye. I must fly.
01:19:24Dirty bitches.
01:19:26You are marvellous.
01:19:28Listen, we'll get Patrick's plane and fly it to Zadana.
01:19:30Force the Mandrew Press to publish the scandalous photographs?
01:19:32Yes. Oh, so Chabal will lose credibility
01:19:34and you...
01:19:38God save King Salvador!
01:19:48Hey, boy, what sort of a club is this?
01:19:50Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
01:19:52How was I to know?
01:19:54I mean, last time we came...
01:19:56These English broads have got a bit of class, huh?
01:19:58They sure have.
01:20:00I bet the big mother could go a couple of rounds.
01:20:02Oh, that clown's a little cold.
01:20:04Here they are.
01:20:06Oh, come on, girls.
01:20:08Get your drinks.
01:20:10Everything kosher at home, Sal?
01:20:14It's, uh, Gobi, isn't it, Sal?
01:20:17It is.
01:20:27Quickly! Step on!
01:20:31Get these lancers in quickly.
01:20:33There's a minimum suppose of ten yards on the runway.
01:20:35Yes, of course, of course.
01:20:37What time is it?
01:20:39It is after nine.
01:20:41We must hurry!
01:20:43Come on, you fools!
01:20:45Hurry!
01:20:47This is a drag.
01:20:49Here they come!
01:20:55Where to, sir?
01:20:57Kirkbridge Airfield.
01:20:59All right-o.
01:21:03Say, Ed, ain't this fun?
01:21:05Yeah, after the country
01:21:07with two beautiful chicks.
01:21:09You Americans are so flashy.
01:21:11You really are.
01:21:15Ah!
01:21:17Look!
01:21:19Here he comes!
01:21:21Alina!
01:21:23All right on time!
01:21:25Yeah!
01:21:29The garden is the place
01:21:31we love to be.
01:21:33The garden is the place
01:21:35we love to be.
01:21:37The garden is the place
01:21:39we love to be.
01:21:41The garden is the place
01:21:43we love to be.
01:21:45The garden is the place
01:21:47we love...
01:22:13Hello, Comrades British! It is us, your friends!
01:22:24Liberea Zerdada!
01:22:26Moria Jabal!
01:22:36Well? Where are the Americans?
01:22:39Oh, they come, see!
01:22:42You have made arrangements?
01:22:44Yes, a cable was sent from Manchuria. Everything is fixed.
01:22:47To this airfield? A bank?
01:23:00Impostors! Traitors! Liars!
01:23:03Karate! Arrest those men!
01:23:05What order, Excellency?
01:23:07Last paycheck, we've caught up with you and your minions.
01:23:09You scum, you try to overthrow my government?
01:23:12Here, what is this?
01:23:14Jabal, you are under arrest!
01:23:18And you, Voshech, until the deal has been completed
01:23:21and the arms you ordered from the American agents are in our hands.
01:23:24Let me go through. I'll have you sought.
01:23:27You scum, you pay for this?
01:23:29Oh, no! Comrade Pacheck is going to pay!
01:23:33All right!
01:23:36Hey, who's the finance minister of Zerdanya?
01:23:39Oh, that's you, Comrade Pacheck.
01:23:41Yes, yes, this one.
01:23:43Me? Oh, yes.
01:23:45You are the representative of the Lake Huron Armaments Agency?
01:23:49That's right. Ed Morton is the name.
01:23:51This is my associate, Ike Brodsky.
01:23:53Ah, very pleased.
01:23:54All right, look, I got the contract here.
01:23:56All we need is your instructions for the shipping company
01:23:58and for you guys to come across with a dough.
01:24:01Well, Mr. Morton, as you were saying to the President,
01:24:04no delivery without the dough.
01:24:06You will see that we have kept our part of the bargain.
01:24:10Look, over there!
01:24:28Quick, the photographs!
01:24:30Thanks.
01:24:31Where are you going?
01:24:32Oi! What's going on?
01:24:38Thanks.
01:24:39Quick, give it here.
01:24:46What kind of a game is this?
01:24:48Who is bothered with doing business with all these guys anyway?
01:24:51These men are imposters! Arrest them!
01:24:53I am President Chabal!
01:24:54I am President Chabal!
01:24:56I am President Chabal!
01:24:57I am President Chabal!
01:24:59You are finished, Chabal!
01:25:01We have deposed you!
01:25:02I am President Chabal!
01:25:04Well, somebody tell me what's going on!
01:25:06Who ordered the bread?
01:25:07You did!
01:25:10It's my brain! It's my brain!
01:25:13It's my illusion!
01:25:15Come on! Come on!
01:25:32Tiffany!
01:25:35You bloody fool!
01:25:49She's gone.
01:25:51She's gone off with him.
01:25:53Tiffany, you've gone out of your bleeding mind.
01:26:02Come on.
01:26:23There she is!
01:26:24It's that girl she's fooled us all!
01:26:28She stole my trousers!
01:26:29And mine!
01:26:30I let her escape. I loved her.
01:26:33She's no more Kylock than Chabal.
01:26:35She is an English spy!
01:26:36What about all this bread?
01:26:38There are four bags loaded over there.
01:26:40Who are we supposed to deliver it to?
01:26:41We've been conned by a broad!
01:26:43Who was the lady who stole the plane?
01:26:45That was no lady.
01:26:47That was Crown Prince Salvador,
01:26:50flying back to Zadana to claim his throne.
01:26:53And there's nothing any of you can do about it!
01:27:01Oh, no!
01:27:04Bloody killer!
01:27:24Here.
01:27:25This is where I came in.
01:27:31Cheering crowds thronged the streets of Manjou, Zadana's capital,
01:27:35to greet the young Crown Prince Salvador,
01:27:37who flew in two hours ago from Britain
01:27:40to claim his throne by coup d'etat,
01:27:42which deposed the absentee President Chabal,
01:27:45believed to be hiding somewhere in London.
01:27:48And so the monarchy is once again restored
01:27:51to this small European state.
01:27:53Celebrations have already begun,
01:27:55and it's understood that Crown Prince Salvador
01:27:58has restored many of the social services in Zadana
01:28:02that he discovered...
01:28:13Stay with us, Comrade Chabal,
01:28:15and maybe one day, who knows,
01:28:18we might have another chance.
01:28:21How about another cup of coffee?
01:28:23How about bed? It's been a long night.
01:28:26Yeah.
01:28:28Where would I be without you two?
01:28:34You're the throne of Zadana by now.
01:28:36Queen Tiffany.
01:28:41Night-night, love. Have a good sleep.
01:28:43Good night, Tiffany.
01:28:44Good night.
01:28:51Thanks for everything, Guy.
01:29:12Tear him limb from limb, scattering his entrails in the streets,
01:29:15to die slowly in agony.
01:29:18Tiffany, you are a princess, a true friend.
01:29:21More than a friend!
01:29:31Tiffany Jones is always full of fun
01:29:34A wonderful one, the kind of a girl
01:29:37You've brought a million miles to be near her
01:29:41Tiffany Jones will always get in your straights
01:29:44But when she escapes, you will applaud
01:29:47And always want to cheer her
01:29:50Who will laugh at all catastrophes?
01:29:55Who is where most girls should never be?
01:29:59But nevertheless, I must confess it so
01:30:03Wherever she goes, I want to be
01:30:06Right there beside her
01:30:10Tiffany Jones, Tiffany Jones
01:30:12Where in the world is there a girl quite like her?
01:30:15Tiffany Jones, hello
01:30:19Tiffany Jones
01:30:45Tiffany Jones
01:30:49Tiffany Jones
01:30:53Tiffany Jones
01:30:57Tiffany Jones
01:31:01Tiffany Jones
01:31:05Tiffany Jones
01:31:09Tiffany Jones
01:31:12Tiffany Jones
01:31:16Tiffany Jones
01:31:20Tiffany Jones
01:31:24Tiffany Jones
01:31:28Tiffany Jones
01:31:32Tiffany Jones
01:31:36Tiffany Jones
01:31:40Tiffany Jones
01:31:45Tiffany Jones
01:32:09Tiffany Jones
01:32:13Tiffany Jones
01:32:17Tiffany Jones
01:32:21Tiffany Jones
01:32:25Tiffany Jones
01:32:29Tiffany Jones
01:32:33Tiffany Jones
01:32:36Tiffany Jones
01:32:40Tiffany Jones
01:32:44Tiffany Jones
01:32:48Tiffany Jones
01:32:52Tiffany Jones
01:32:56Tiffany Jones
01:33:00Tiffany Jones
01:33:03Tiffany Jones
01:33:07Tiffany Jones
01:33:11Tiffany Jones
01:33:15Tiffany Jones
01:33:19Tiffany Jones
01:33:33Tiffany Jones
01:33:37Tiffany Jones
01:33:41Tiffany Jones
01:33:45Tiffany Jones
01:33:49Tiffany Jones
01:33:53Tiffany Jones
01:33:57Tiffany Jones
01:34:00Tiffany Jones
01:34:04Tiffany Jones
01:34:08Tiffany Jones
01:34:12Tiffany Jones
01:34:16Tiffany Jones
01:34:20Tiffany Jones
01:34:24Tiffany Jones