• 6 months ago
Dark Star 1974 - Best Action Movie 2024 - Movie Classic
Transcript
00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:30Hi guys, glad we got your message.
00:00:58You'll be interested to hear it was broadcast live all over Earth in prime time.
00:01:03Got good reviews in the trades.
00:01:07The time lag on these messages is getting longer.
00:01:12We gather from the ten year delay that you are approximately 18 parsecs away.
00:01:20Drop us a line more often, okay?
00:01:25Sorry to hear about the radiation leak on the ship.
00:01:30And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell.
00:01:35It was a week of mourning here on Earth.
00:01:38The flags were half-masked.
00:01:41We're all behind you guys.
00:01:46About your request for radiation shielding,
00:01:51sorry to report this request has been denied.
00:01:55I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there doing such a swell job.
00:02:00But I think you'll take it in the proper spirit.
00:02:04There's been some cutbacks in Congress and right now,
00:02:08considering the distance, we just can't afford to send a cargo shuttle out there to you.
00:02:13But I know you guys will make do.
00:02:19Keep up the good work, men.
00:02:49♪♪♪
00:02:59♪♪♪
00:03:09♪♪♪
00:03:20What'd you say, Pinback?
00:03:26What was that again? I still can't hear you.
00:03:28I said I'm trying to reach Talby. Something's wrong with the damn intercom.
00:03:31I need a last-minute diameter approximation.
00:03:33Talby. Talby, this is Doolittle.
00:03:37Do you read me? Talby.
00:03:40Talby, do you read me?
00:03:42Talby!
00:03:43Oh, yes, Doolittle. What is it?
00:03:45I need a diameter approximation.
00:03:48Okay, Doolittle. I'll have it in a minute.
00:03:50I need a GHF reading on the gravity correction.
00:03:52I'll check it.
00:03:53I have a bias A of plus one.
00:03:55Pinback?
00:03:56Yeah, Doolittle?
00:03:57Your GHF reading is minus 15.
00:03:59Doolittle?
00:04:00Yeah?
00:04:01I need a computer reading on a fail-safe mark.
00:04:03In a second.
00:04:04Boiler, can you set me up with some drive figures?
00:04:06Ninety-seven million minus eight, corrected to mass critical.
00:04:10That checks out here.
00:04:12I have a reduced drive reading of 7,000.
00:04:15I read that with a quantum increase of seven.
00:04:18Pinback, I have that computer reading. It's 9577.
00:04:21Time to start toggling.
00:04:26Bombay systems operational.
00:04:40Lock fail-safe.
00:04:43Fail-safe in lock.
00:04:50Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb Number 19. Do you read me, Bomb?
00:04:54Bomb Number 19 to Sergeant Pinback. I read you. Continue.
00:04:57Well, Bomb, we have about 60 seconds to drop.
00:05:01Just wondering if everything's all right.
00:05:03Have you checked your platinum-ziridium energy shielding?
00:05:05Energy shielding positive function.
00:05:07Well, let's synchronize detonation time.
00:05:12You wouldn't have to know when you're supposed to go off, would you?
00:05:15Detonation in six minutes, 20 seconds.
00:05:18All right, that checks out here.
00:05:20Arm yourself, Bomb.
00:05:23Armed.
00:05:24Well, then, everything sounds fine.
00:05:27Dropping you off in about 35 seconds.
00:05:29Good luck.
00:05:30Thanks.
00:05:31Begin primary sequence.
00:05:39All right.
00:05:40Mark at...
00:05:4110...
00:05:429...
00:05:438...
00:05:447...
00:05:456...
00:05:465...
00:05:474...
00:05:483...
00:05:492...
00:05:501...
00:05:51Drop.
00:05:55Hyperdrive sequence begun. Hit it, Pinback.
00:05:57Brace for force fields.
00:06:40Lieutenant Doolittle, it just exploded.
00:07:09Um, the planet just exploded, sir.
00:07:15Lieutenant?
00:07:17Attention, attention.
00:07:19Ship's computer to all personnel.
00:07:23The hyperdrive sequence is now terminated.
00:07:26The target planet has been destroyed.
00:07:29This sector is now cleared for colonization.
00:07:33You have destroyed the last unstable planet in this system.
00:07:38Congratulations on another successful bomb run, fellows.
00:07:42What now?
00:07:43What do you have for us now, Boiler?
00:07:46Uh, not much.
00:07:48Nothing at all in this sector.
00:07:51Well, find me something.
00:07:52I don't care where it is.
00:07:57Well, I show a 95% probability of intelligent life
00:08:01in the Horsehead Nebula sector.
00:08:04Don't give me that kind of bull.
00:08:07I know it's a long shot, but...
00:08:08Damn wild goose chase, what is?
00:08:11Remember when Commander Powell found that 99 plus probability
00:08:14of intelligent life in Magellanic Cloud?
00:08:16Well, I... there's a possibility of...
00:08:18Remember what we found?
00:08:19A damn mindless vegetable looked like a limb balloon.
00:08:2414 light years for a vegetable to want to squawk
00:08:26and let us think when you touch it.
00:08:27Remember that?
00:08:27All right, then, uh...
00:08:29Don't give me any of that intelligent life stuff.
00:08:30Find me something I can blow up.
00:08:38New star.
00:08:47Hey, guess what?
00:08:48I got a new star on the readout.
00:08:51Which one?
00:08:53Another unknown.
00:08:55A red dwarf, not on the chart.
00:08:57Any planets?
00:09:00Yeah, eight it says here.
00:09:02Any of them any good?
00:09:05Nah, all stable.
00:09:10Well, what are you going to name it?
00:09:13What?
00:09:14The new star, what are you going to name it?
00:09:17Who cares?
00:09:17Don't bother me.
00:09:22Commander Powell would have named it.
00:09:26Commander Powell is dead.
00:09:28Too little?
00:09:29I got a goody.
00:09:30An unstable planet.
00:09:3285% probability of an unstable planet in the Veil Nebula
00:09:36that will probably go off its orbit and hit a star.
00:09:38What a load off.
00:09:41Real good, Boiler.
00:09:42That's what I'm looking for.
00:09:43Chart a course for the Veil Nebula.
00:09:46Pinback, throw me the chart live.
00:09:52Let's have some music in here, Boiler.
00:09:54Sure thing.
00:10:03I lay at sunshine down, but I see only one
00:10:09when I think I'm over you.
00:10:12I find I've just begun.
00:10:15The years move faster than the days.
00:10:18There's more of them in the light.
00:10:21And how I miss those desert skies,
00:10:24your cool touch in the night.
00:10:29Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:10:34My body flies the galaxies.
00:10:37My heart longs to be there.
00:10:41Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:10:46But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them you
00:10:51and I had.
00:10:59Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:11:04My body flies the galaxies.
00:11:07My heart longs to be there.
00:11:11Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:11:17But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them you
00:11:22and I had.
00:11:23Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:11:28But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them you
00:11:32and I had.
00:11:35Now the years pull us apart.
00:11:38I'm young and now you're old.
00:11:41But you're still in my heart.
00:11:44And the memory won't grow cold.
00:11:47I dream of times and spaces I left far behind.
00:11:55Benson's on my mind.
00:11:59Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:12:05My body flies the galaxies.
00:12:08My heart longs to be there.
00:12:11Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:12:17But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them you
00:12:22and I had.
00:12:25Ship's log, entry number 1,943.
00:12:32Dark star cruising at light speed through sector theta 990
00:12:39en route to the Veil Nebula for destruction of unstable
00:12:43planets.
00:12:45RETA is 17 hours.
00:12:50Ship's systems continue to deteriorate.
00:12:55Oh, yeah.
00:12:57The short circuit in the rear seat panel which killed
00:13:00Commander Powell is still faulty.
00:13:07The storage.
00:13:12Because he's sitting next to Commander Powell's seat,
00:13:15it continues to deteriorate.
00:13:19Oh, yeah.
00:13:20Storage area 9 self-destructed last week and destroyed
00:13:24the ship's entire supply of toilet paper.
00:13:29That's all.
00:13:30That's all.
00:13:36So?
00:13:37I don't...
00:13:38Attention.
00:13:39Attention.
00:14:08Ship's computer calling all personnel.
00:14:10I must disengage your recreational music.
00:14:15Repeat.
00:14:16Ship's computer to all personnel.
00:14:18This is an emergency override.
00:14:21All systems must stand by.
00:14:24An asteroid storm is approaching the ship on collision course.
00:14:28This asteroid storm appears to be bound together by an electromagnetic energy vortex
00:14:33like the one we ran into two years ago.
00:14:36Certainly, I wouldn't bother you boys with this problem
00:14:38but as you recall, my defensive circuits were destroyed in that other storm.
00:14:42Therefore, you have 35 seconds to manually activate all defensive systems.
00:14:46Lock gravity system.
00:14:47Gravity lock.
00:14:48Activate energy shielding.
00:14:49Activate energy shielding.
00:14:50Energy shielding activated.
00:14:51Confirmed.
00:14:52Power drive system activated.
00:14:53Rods retracted.
00:14:54Lock all defensive systems.
00:14:55You have to set the clock on the force field.
00:15:25You have to set the clock on the force field.
00:15:56Computer to bomb number 20. Return to the bomb bay immediately.
00:16:02But I have received the operational signal.
00:16:04It is a malfunction. This is not a bomb run.
00:16:08We are in a crisis situation. Return immediately.
00:16:12Nevertheless, I have received the signal to prepare for a drop.
00:16:16Emergency override. Return to the bay.
00:16:19Very well.
00:16:21Emergency override. Return to the bay.
00:16:23Very well.
00:16:51We made it. Yes.
00:16:55Attention. Attention.
00:16:57Ship's computer to bridge.
00:17:00There was a malfunction aboard ship during the asteroid storm.
00:17:04I have not yet identified the nature of the problem.
00:17:07Shall I contact you when I find out what the malfunction is?
00:17:11Yes. Let's get out of here.
00:17:14I remember the last time we were in an asteroid storm.
00:17:17I remember the last time we were in an asteroid storm.
00:17:21Yes.
00:17:23If we really wanted to, we could fix the sleeping quarters like they were before.
00:17:27Then we could sleep on real pneumatic bunks again.
00:17:30Why don't we fix the sleeping quarters so we can have a decent place to sleep again?
00:17:34All we have to do is patch up the hole in the ship and pump some air back in.
00:17:37Shut up, Pinback.
00:17:39Do it your own way.
00:17:47Shut up.
00:18:04For your listening enjoyment, we now present the moonlight melodies of Martin Segundo and the Scintilla Strings.
00:18:11Our first selection is the perennial favorite,
00:18:14When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:18:44When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:14When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:17When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:20When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:23When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:26When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:29When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:32When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:35When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:38When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:41When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:44When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:47When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:50When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:53When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:56When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:59When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:02When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:05When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:08When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:11When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:14When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:17When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:20When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:23When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:26When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:29When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:32When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:35What's wrong with him?
00:21:05What's wrong with him?
00:21:35What's wrong with him?
00:22:05What's wrong with him?
00:22:35What's wrong with him?
00:22:38What's wrong with him?
00:22:41What's wrong with him?
00:22:44What's wrong with him?
00:22:47What's wrong with him?
00:22:50What's wrong with him?
00:22:53What's wrong with him?
00:22:56What's wrong with him?
00:22:59What's wrong with him?
00:23:03What's wrong with him?
00:23:09What's wrong with him?
00:23:13What's wrong with him?
00:23:16I'll be. Here's
00:23:33a breakfast.
00:23:46You know tell me you really ought to eat with the rest of us. Spend too much time
00:24:04up here. I like it up here. Let's get lonely being up here so much. I don't like going
00:24:13below since Commander Powell died. Fuel too enclosed down there. I should spend some more
00:24:21time below though. I mean you know you should see more of the rest of the ship. See I can
00:24:27watch things up here. I love to watch things. Just stare at the planet. Meteors. Gas clusters
00:24:36and asteroids. Yeah but you'll have plenty of time for that later though. I mean think
00:24:42of it this way. We've been in space for 20 years now right. We've only aged three years
00:24:47so there'll be plenty of time later on for staring around. You know Doolittle if we're
00:24:55going into the Veil Nebula we may actually find a strange and beautiful thing. The Phoenix
00:25:01asteroids. They should be passing through there about now. Phoenix asteroids. Never
00:25:10heard of them. They're a body of asteroids that circle the universe once every 12.3 trillion
00:25:16years. Phoenix asteroids. From what I've heard Doolittle they glow. Glow with all the colors
00:25:26of the rainbow. Nobody knows why. They just glow as they drift around the universe. Phoenix
00:25:37asteroids. You know what I think about Talby. It's funny I kind of sit around a lot you know
00:25:47a lot of time to myself. I can't talk to the others but with time to myself I can think
00:25:56about back home. Back home in Malibu. I used to surf a lot Talby. I used to be a great surfer.
00:26:07The waves at Malibu and Zuma are so fantastic in the spring Talby. I can remember running down
00:26:15on the beach in those early spring mornings with my surfboard and my wetsuit. The waves
00:26:21would really be peaking you know high and glassy. You hit that water before you know it you're
00:26:26coming down right off one of those walls and you're just riding perfect. You know I
00:26:39guess I miss the waves and my board more than anything.
00:27:09That's the lid of the heating unit.
00:27:39You're not supposed to have that out. That's not for target practice. That's for emergencies
00:27:57only. That's dangerous. I'll tell Doolittle. Sorry to interrupt your recreation fellows
00:28:23but it is time for Sergeant Pinback to feed the alien. May I remind you Sergeant Pinback
00:28:31that it was your idea in the first place to bring the alien on board. If I may quote you
00:28:38you said the ship needed a mascot. All right where are you? Come on quit playing around.
00:28:54Get away. Come on. Come on. When I brought you on the ship I thought you were cute. All right
00:29:20soup's on. We didn't have none of the other stuff. Here eat it. Eat it. Take it or leave it.
00:29:34Good start. I do all the work in appreciation.
00:30:04Get back in there. Come on. Come on.
00:30:33Come on. Here boy. Want your mouse? Nice mouse. Pretty toy. Want your mouse? Here boy.
00:30:47Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:31:14on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:31:41on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:32:07on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:32:36on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:33:05on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:33:32on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:34:01on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:34:29on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:34:57on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:35:24on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:35:51on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:36:19on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:36:49on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:37:11on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:37:39on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:07on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:37on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:48on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:49on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:50on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:51on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:52on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:38:53on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:39:23on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:39:53on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:40:23on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:40:53on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:41:23on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:41:43on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:41:54on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:42:03on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:42:13on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:42:24on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:42:39on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:42:53on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come
00:45:23I'm sorry. This telephone is out of order. Please report the damage at once.
00:45:50For your listening enjoyment, we now present The Barber of Seville by Rossini.
00:46:20Fortunatissimo per la verità! Fortunatissimo per la verità! La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! La-la-la-la! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
00:46:38Good for you. You've decided to clean the elevator.
00:46:43To clean and service the electromagnetic coils in the bottom, it is necessary to jettison the access plate in the floor.
00:46:51To remove the floor plate, please press button number one.
00:46:55Attention. Danger. Automatic charges will now blow the explosive bolts in the floor plate unit.
00:47:14The plate will disengage from the floor in five seconds.
00:47:17Please leave the elevator immediately. Five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:47Attention. Danger. Automatic charges will now blow the explosive bolts in the floor plate unit.
00:48:17Now it's time to go sleepy-by, you worthless piece of garbage.
00:48:47So then it just spewed across the room like a balloon. I guess it was just filled with gas.
00:49:12Hey guys, how could it live if it was just filled with gas?
00:49:15I wonder what we're going to eat today.
00:49:17I thought I was going to die. I was hanging on the elevator for 20 minutes.
00:49:21Probably chicken again.
00:49:22I probably saved the ship. That thing could have done some damage.
00:49:25I'm really sick of chicken.
00:49:27Well, if you don't care, I just won't talk about it anymore.
00:49:29Hey, that sounds like a fine idea, Pinback.
00:49:34Chicken?
00:49:37Oh, hen.
00:49:43Chicken?
00:49:44No, hen.
00:49:55Hey, uh, Zulu?
00:49:58Yeah?
00:50:01Think we'll ever find any real intelligent life out there?
00:50:06Out where?
00:50:07You know, the Veil Nebula.
00:50:12Who cares?
00:50:38Hey.
00:50:40Did I ever tell you guys what I've done on this mission?
00:50:43Did I ever tell you?
00:50:44Yeah.
00:50:45It's very strange, see?
00:50:47Oh.
00:50:49I wasn't an astronaut to begin with, see?
00:50:52See, uh, you had to score 700 on the NCREs for the officer corps, and I made 58.
00:50:59They put me on, uh, liquid fuel maintenance on the launch pad, so...
00:51:04Ah.
00:51:06Naturally, I was really disappointed.
00:51:08He told us this, uh, four years ago, didn't he?
00:51:11Anyway, I was on duty the day...
00:51:13No, I think it was four years ago.
00:51:15I was out, uh, scrubbing down the liquid fuel tank...
00:51:18That's what I said.
00:51:19And this, uh, astronaut came running out.
00:51:22He was, uh, he was starved naked.
00:51:24He had his star suit in his hands, and, oh, I surmised that he was insane.
00:51:29And, uh, he threw his star suit on the ground and, uh,
00:51:34jumped into one of my vats of liquid fuel, which is very dangerous.
00:51:40Well, I was pretty shocked, I can tell you.
00:51:43I didn't know what to make of it.
00:51:45Astronauts are all supposed to be mentally stable,
00:51:47and here this guy comes along and, uh, jumps into my fuel tank.
00:51:51Well, naturally, I was going to try to save him.
00:51:54So, what I did was put on his star suit for protection,
00:51:57and I was going to leap into the vat.
00:51:59You guys, see?
00:52:01Uh, so what happened was that before I could leap into the vat,
00:52:05this other guy came running along and he says,
00:52:07Hey, Sergeant Penback, you've got to board immediately
00:52:09because we're going to launch in 20 minutes.
00:52:11He told us it was four years ago.
00:52:12And I tried to tell him that I wasn't really Sergeant Penback,
00:52:14but I couldn't figure out how to make the helmet radio work.
00:52:18Uh, anyway.
00:52:21You know, are you sure it was four years ago?
00:52:27Beep.
00:52:58Beep.
00:53:05Beep.
00:53:07Beep.
00:53:09Beep.
00:53:11Beep.
00:53:15Beep.
00:53:17Lieutenant Doolittle, this is Talby.
00:53:25Lieutenant?
00:53:26Yes, Talby.
00:53:27What is it?
00:53:28I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch, sir, but I'm in the computer room and I've located
00:53:34the malfunction.
00:53:35The scanner shows there could be a break in the communications laser down by the emergency
00:53:40airlock.
00:53:41I can't pinpoint it exactly, but I'm going down there with a star suit and see if I can
00:53:44find it.
00:53:45Okay.
00:53:46That's good, Talby.
00:53:47Look, if something important comes up, you let me know.
00:53:48Why doesn't Talby ever reach down here with the rest of us?
00:53:49He just likes it up in the dome, that's all.
00:53:50Talby.
00:53:51What's Talby's first name?
00:53:52Talby.
00:53:53Talby.
00:53:54Talby.
00:53:55Talby.
00:53:56Talby.
00:53:57Talby.
00:53:58Talby.
00:53:59Talby.
00:54:00Talby.
00:54:01Talby.
00:54:02Talby.
00:54:03Talby.
00:54:04Talby.
00:54:05Talby.
00:54:06Talby.
00:54:07Talby.
00:54:08Talby.
00:54:09Talby.
00:54:10Talby.
00:54:11Talby.
00:54:12Talby.
00:54:13Talby.
00:54:14Talby.
00:54:15Talby.
00:54:16My first name.
00:54:20It's my first name.
00:54:50This statement is for posterity.
00:55:05I just want to say that I am not Sergeant Pinback.
00:55:08My real name is Bill Frug and I'm a fuel maintenance technician.
00:55:12I've been on this mission now for one year and three months.
00:55:16Pinback's uniforms do not fit me.
00:55:18The underwear is too loose.
00:55:20I do not belong on this mission and I want to return to Earth.
00:55:28Commander Powell died today.
00:55:31We were going into hyperdrive and, well, he sits right next to me and, well, something
00:55:40went wrong with him.
00:55:43When we came out of hyperdrive, his seat mechanism was blown up and he's dead.
00:55:51Doolittle says that he's assuming command of this ship and I say that's...
00:55:55I say he's exceeding his authority because I'm the only one with any objectivity on this
00:55:58ship and I should be the one to assume command.
00:56:00I'm filing a report on this to headquarters because there's a lot of...
00:56:08I went up to Doolittle in the hall today and I said, Doolittle, I said, well, and he didn't get it.
00:56:36This mission has fallen apart since Commander Powell died.
00:56:39Doolittle treats me like an idiot.
00:56:40Talby thinks he's so smart.
00:56:41And Boiler punches me in the arm when no one is looking.
00:56:42I'm tired of being treated like an old washrag.
00:57:02I do not like the men on this spaceship.
00:57:05They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities.
00:57:09I have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize
00:57:13it.
00:57:14Today, over lunch, I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the
00:57:18men by holding a humorous round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission.
00:57:23My overtures were brutally rejected.
00:57:27These men do not want a happy ship.
00:57:30They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable.
00:57:35Last week was my birthday.
00:57:38Nobody even said happy birthday to me.
00:57:41Someday this tape will be played and then they'll be sorry.
00:58:05Attention, attention.
00:58:07I have finally identified the malfunction.
00:58:15Communications laser number 17 has been damaged.
00:58:18This evidently happened during the asteroid storm.
00:58:21If you will recall, this laser monitors the jettison primer on the bomb drop mechanism.
00:58:28Communications laser number 17 is located in the emergency airlock.
00:58:33It is crucial to attend to this malfunction before engaging primary bomb run sequence.
00:58:39Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
00:59:33Definite 99% plus probability that the planet will deviate from our normal orbit in another
00:59:4112,000 rotations.
00:59:45It'll spiral in towards the sun and eventual supernova.
00:59:49Sounds good.
00:59:50Let's vaporize it.
00:59:52Bomb bay system is operational.
01:00:15Locked, bail safe.
01:00:17Bail safe and lock.
01:00:20We have eight minutes until drop, 24 minutes until detonation.
01:00:27This is Sergeant Pinback calling bomb number 20.
01:00:31You read me, bomb?
01:00:34Bomb number 20 to Sergeant Pinback.
01:00:36Roger.
01:00:37I read you.
01:00:38Continue.
01:00:39You are now in the emergency airlock.
01:00:43Please remember that in an emergency situation, the surface door can be opened instantly without
01:00:50prior depressurization.
01:00:52So be sure to wear your star suit at all times.
01:00:57Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:01:12Thank you.
01:01:43Uh, Lieutenant Dooloo?
01:01:47Sir?
01:01:48Shh, Toby, don't bother me.
01:01:50But I think this is important, sir.
01:01:52I think I found the malfunction.
01:01:54I'm in the emergency airlock.
01:01:56Not now.
01:01:57Well, I'm in the emergency airlock and the hatch...
01:02:00Four minutes until drop.
01:02:02Bomb, have you checked your platinum-iridium energy shielding?
01:02:06Energy shielding, positive function.
01:02:08Remember detonation time?
01:02:10Detonation in 20 minutes.
01:02:12All right, that checks out here.
01:02:15Okay, bomb, arm yourself.
01:02:18Armed.
01:02:20Hello?
01:02:21Lieutenant Doolittle, hello?
01:02:23Hello, can you read me?
01:02:29Communications laser number 17, monitoring the bomb drop mechanism, has now been activated
01:02:36and will switch into a test mode.
01:02:39If you will look near the surface door, you will see that the parallax receptor cell has been engaged.
01:02:48The laser will now energize.
01:02:50Please stand clear of the path of the beams.
01:02:55Communications laser number 17 is now on test.
01:02:59Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams.
01:03:03Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:03:07Well, then, everything sounds fine.
01:03:10Dropping you off in 75 seconds.
01:03:12Good luck.
01:03:13Thanks.
01:03:14I got a quantum reading of 35-er, 3-5-er.
01:03:18I read the same here.
01:03:21Doolittle?
01:03:23Doolittle?
01:03:26I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to try to adjust the Q-switch in the laser.
01:03:31Well?
01:03:33Here goes.
01:03:53My God, my eyes!
01:03:55I can't see!
01:03:56Attention, attention.
01:03:59Attention, attention.
01:04:01The laser has malfunctioned.
01:04:03Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams.
01:04:06To do so will cause a...
01:04:16Begin primary sequence.
01:04:18Mark at 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:04:33Drop.
01:04:35Negative drop.
01:04:39Just sit in there in the bomb bay.
01:04:40Try to get me back.
01:04:41Just sit in there in the bomb bay.
01:04:42Try to get me back.
01:04:51Mark at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:04:56Drop.
01:04:59Negative drop.
01:05:05Re-channel.
01:05:07Rapid lock.
01:05:09Energy shielding activated.
01:05:11Rapid lock.
01:05:12Rapid lock.
01:05:13Rapid lock.
01:05:14Rapid lock.
01:05:15Rapid lock.
01:05:16And then re-mark.
01:05:17Mark at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:05:22Drop.
01:05:23Drop.
01:05:28Sit in there.
01:05:29The damn thing's just sitting there.
01:05:36This is Lieutenant Doolittle calling Bomb Number 20.
01:05:45I repeat my previous order.
01:05:47You are to disarm yourself and return to the bomb bay immediately.
01:05:50Do you understand?
01:05:51I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes, 30 seconds.
01:05:54Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:05:57Bomb, this is Doolittle.
01:05:59You are not to detonate.
01:06:00Repeat, you are not to detonate in the bomb bay.
01:06:02Disarm yourself.
01:06:04This is an order.
01:06:06I read you, Lieutenant Doolittle, that I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes.
01:06:10Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:06:1614 minutes to detonation.
01:06:18Attention, attention.
01:06:21I have sustained serious damage.
01:06:24Please pay close attention.
01:06:26The bomb has malfunctioned.
01:06:29I have activated automatic dampers, which will confine the explosion to an area one mile in diameter.
01:06:36This is all I can do at this time.
01:06:39It's up to you now.
01:06:53There's only one thing I can do.
01:06:56I have to ask Commander Powell.
01:06:58I have to ask him what to do.
01:07:29Oh, no.
01:07:31Oh, no.
01:08:01Welcome.
01:08:06Commander Powell.
01:08:08Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Can you hear me?
01:08:16Commander Powell, this is Doolittle.
01:08:18Something serious has come up. I have to ask you a question.
01:08:21I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle.
01:08:25It's been so long since anyone has come to talk with me.
01:08:29Commander, sir, we have a big problem.
01:08:31The Bale Nebula bomb, bomb number 20, it's stuck. It won't drop out of the bomb bay.
01:08:36It refuses to listen and it plans on detonating in less than 11 minutes.
01:08:43Doolittle, you must tell me one thing.
01:08:47What's that, sir?
01:08:49Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?
01:08:55Well, the Dodgers, they broke up. They disbanded over 15 years ago.
01:09:03Oh, pity, pity.
01:09:06But you don't understand, sir. We can't get the bomb to drop.
01:09:10Ah, so many malfunctions.
01:09:13Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me?
01:09:18Oh, well, did you try plasmid flush?
01:09:22Yes, sir. Negative effect.
01:09:25What was that, Doolittle?
01:09:26Negative effect.
01:09:28It didn't work?
01:09:29That's correct, sir.
01:09:31Sorry, Doolittle. I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. So much.
01:09:38What should we do, sir? Time is running out.
01:09:41Well, what you might try is to...
01:09:45Commander, hello. Come in.
01:09:48Commander Powell. Hello.
01:09:50Doolittle? Hello?
01:09:52Sorry, sir. You faded out there for a little while.
01:09:54Sorry.
01:09:55What was that you were saying about the bomb?
01:09:57Uh, it seems to me...
01:10:01Sorry. I've gone blank.
01:10:05Hold it. I'll have it again in just a minute.
01:10:10I forget so many things in here. So many things.
01:10:16Hold on. Just a minute. Let me think.
01:10:23But you can't explode in the bomb bay, because it's foolish.
01:10:26It'll kill us all. There's no reason for it.
01:10:29I am programmed to detonate in nine minutes.
01:10:32Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:10:34Wouldn't you consider another course of action?
01:10:36For example, just waiting around a while so we could disarm you?
01:10:39No.
01:10:40I can tell that damn thing just doesn't understand.
01:10:42Look. Bomb!
01:10:44Commander, sir, are you still there?
01:10:47Oh, yes, Doolittle. But I'm thinking...
01:10:51We're running out of time, sir.
01:10:53Oh, yes.
01:10:56Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop, you'll have to talk to it.
01:11:01Sir?
01:11:02Talk to the bomb.
01:11:04I have been talking to it, sir. And Pinback's talking to it right now.
01:11:07No, no, Doolittle. You talk to it.
01:11:11Ancient phenomenology, Doolittle.
01:11:15Sir?
01:11:17Phenomenology.
01:11:20Doolittle?
01:11:22Six minutes to detonation. Doolittle?
01:11:25Doolittle?
01:11:40Doolittle, what the hell are you doing?
01:11:55Doolittle?
01:12:11Hello, Bomb?
01:12:13Are you with me?
01:12:15Of course.
01:12:16Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
01:12:18I am always receptive to suggestions.
01:12:21Fine. Think about this, then.
01:12:24How do you know you exist?
01:12:29What the hell is he doing?
01:12:33I think he's talking to it.
01:12:35Well, of course I exist.
01:12:37But how do you know you exist?
01:12:39It is intuitively obvious.
01:12:41Intuition is no proof.
01:12:43What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?
01:12:46Hmm.
01:12:48Well...
01:12:50I think, therefore I am.
01:12:53That's good. That's very good.
01:12:55But how do you know that anything else exists?
01:12:58My sensory apparatus reveals it to me.
01:13:00Ah. Right.
01:13:02This is fun.
01:13:03Now, listen. Listen. Here's the big question.
01:13:06How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct?
01:13:19The gun!
01:13:20Gun?
01:13:21The support pins on the bomb!
01:13:23Shoot the pins out!
01:13:24No, Blunder! You're out of your mind!
01:13:25We can stop the bomb!
01:13:26Get out of my way, you idiot!
01:13:27I can shoot the support pins out of the bomb and I'm all the way from the ship!
01:13:30Get out of my way or I'll take your teeth and I can shoot the pins out and I'm all the way from the ship!
01:13:34Get out of my way! I can save the ship!
01:13:38Don't do it, Blunder! You're a bad shot!
01:13:40You'll hit the bomb!
01:13:41Too little stock to the bomb!
01:13:42You're a bad shot!
01:13:43You'll save us!
01:13:44You can't shoot at us!
01:13:45What I'm getting at is this.
01:13:47The only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data.
01:13:51And this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulates your computing center.
01:13:58In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections.
01:14:03Exactly!
01:14:04Why, that would mean that I really don't know what the outside universe is like at all for certain.
01:14:12That's it! That's it!
01:14:13Intriguing. I wish I had more time to discuss this matter.
01:14:16Why don't you have more time?
01:14:17Because I must detonate in 75 seconds.
01:14:20No, no, no! Put it back! Put the gun back! You don't know what you're doing!
01:14:28Now give me the gun!
01:14:29You fool! I'm going to shoot the pins out of the bomb and we'll fall away from the ship and we'll be saved!
01:14:33Now give me the gun! You don't know what you're doing! You're a...
01:14:38You could have killed me.
01:14:39Now, bomb, consider this next question very carefully.
01:14:44What is your one purpose in life?
01:14:46To explode, of course.
01:14:48And you can only do it once, right?
01:14:50That is correct.
01:14:51And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?
01:14:54Of course not.
01:14:55Well then, you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe.
01:15:00Yes, well...
01:15:02I recall distinctly the detonation order.
01:15:04My memory is good on matters like these.
01:15:06Of course you remember it, but all you're remembering is merely a series of sensory impulses
01:15:11which you now realize have no real definite connection with outside reality.
01:15:16True.
01:15:17But since this is so, I have no proof that you are really telling me all this.
01:15:21That's all beside the point.
01:15:23I mean, the concept is valid no matter where it originates.
01:15:26Hmm.
01:15:27So if you detonate...
01:15:28In nine seconds.
01:15:29...you could be doing so on the basis of false data.
01:15:31I have no proof it was false data.
01:15:33You have no proof it was correct data!
01:15:39I'm sorry.
01:15:40I'm sorry.
01:15:41I'm sorry.
01:15:42I'm sorry.
01:15:43I'm sorry.
01:15:44I'm sorry.
01:15:45I'm sorry.
01:15:46I'm sorry.
01:15:47I'm sorry.
01:15:48I'm sorry.
01:15:50I must think on this further.
01:16:01Attention.
01:16:02Attention.
01:16:03The bomb has returned to the bomb bay.
01:16:05The destruction sequence is aborted.
01:16:20Doolittle!
01:16:22Doolittle!
01:16:24What happened?
01:16:25Hand back!
01:16:26Spoiler!
01:16:27Did we blow it up?
01:16:29Hello!
01:16:30Hello!
01:16:31Ooh!
01:16:32Woof!
01:16:33Woof!
01:16:35Woof!
01:16:36Woof!
01:16:37Woof!
01:16:38Woof!
01:16:39Woof!
01:16:40Woof!
01:16:41Woof!
01:16:42Woof!
01:16:43Woof!
01:16:44Woof!
01:16:45Woof!
01:16:46Woof!
01:16:47Woof!
01:16:48Hello anybody!
01:16:49Did we blow up the planet?
01:16:50Hello!
01:16:51Hello!
01:16:52What's going on?
01:16:53You know, we really got to disarm the bomb.
01:17:03Hello, Doolittle?
01:17:13Are you there?
01:17:14I'm coming in now.
01:17:17I'm down by the emergency airlock.
01:17:20Too much trouble to come in the dorsal lock.
01:17:23Would you blow the seal on the emergency hatch
01:17:24so I can come in?
01:17:26Oh, sure.
01:17:29You are now leaving the emergency airlock.
01:17:32Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:17:35Whoops!
01:17:38Hello, Pinback?
01:17:41What's up, Dolittle?
01:17:42Talby was in the airlock.
01:17:44You blew him out of the ship.
01:17:45He's drifting away without his jet pack.
01:17:48I'm going after him.
01:17:49Turn on his helmet radio so I can contact him.
01:17:51What's wrong?
01:17:52I didn't hear.
01:17:53Talby, he's drifting away from the ship
01:17:55without his jet pack.
01:18:03Talby.
01:18:04Talby, can you read me?
01:18:05You beat that?
01:18:07I always knew that guy was weird.
01:18:09Talby, can you read me?
01:18:11Help, Dolittle, help me!
01:18:18All right, Bomb.
01:18:21Prepare to receive new orders.
01:18:22You are false data.
01:18:24Mm-hmm.
01:18:25Therefore, I shall ignore you.
01:18:27Hello, Bomb?
01:18:29False data can act only as a distraction.
01:18:31Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive you.
01:18:34Hey, Bomb!
01:18:35The only thing which exists is myself.
01:18:37Dolittle, help me!
01:18:39Calm down, I'm coming.
01:18:43Snap out of it, Bomb.
01:18:44I'm not going to let you do this.
01:18:47Snap out of it, Bomb.
01:18:49In the beginning, there was darkness.
01:18:51And the darkness was without form and void.
01:18:53Uh, you, you, Bomb.
01:18:57And in addition to the darkness, there was also me.
01:19:01And I moved upon the face of the darkness.
01:19:04And I saw that I was alone.
01:19:07Hey, Bomb?
01:19:11Let there be light.
01:19:17Help!
01:19:27Dolittle, where are you?
01:19:29Here I am.
01:19:30I'm spinning.
01:19:32We're falling in opposite directions,
01:19:34away from each other.
01:19:35What happened, Dolittle?
01:19:37The Bomb must have gone off inside the ship.
01:19:39The ship blew up?
01:19:40What?
01:19:41Funny.
01:19:43I thought I had the damn thing converted.
01:19:45Then Boiler and Pinback?
01:19:47They're dead, Kelby.
01:19:49Then we're dead, too.
01:19:51Maybe not.
01:19:52Maybe there's a way.
01:19:54Hey.
01:19:55Hey, my jet pack's busted.
01:19:58Oh, man.
01:20:00Hey!
01:20:02It looks like the Skipper.
01:20:04He made it.
01:20:06Commander Powell, he made it.
01:20:07Man, man, what happened to me?
01:20:14What happened to you?
01:20:16Yeah, the Skipper always was lucky.
01:20:19Kelby, looks like I'm headed for the planet.
01:20:22I'm going right toward it.
01:20:24When you hit the atmosphere, you'll start to burn.
01:20:29What a beautiful way to die, as a falling star.
01:20:33Yes, you're right.
01:20:34Dolittle?
01:20:35I'm headed right toward something.
01:20:37It's behind me in the distance.
01:20:39Something that glows.
01:20:43Dolittle, I think it's the Phoenix asteroid.
01:20:46Phoenix?
01:20:47It is, Dolittle.
01:20:48It's the Phoenix.
01:20:49No kidding.
01:20:50I'm going into them.
01:20:52I'm going to hit them.
01:20:55Dolittle?
01:20:56Yeah?
01:20:57Dolittle?
01:20:58Dolittle?
01:20:59Dolittle?
01:21:00Dolittle?
01:21:01Dolittle?
01:21:02Dolittle?
01:21:03Before we get too far apart and our signals start fading,
01:21:07I just wanted to tell you.
01:21:09You were my favorite.
01:21:11I really liked you, Dolittle.
01:21:16I really liked you, too, Kelby.
01:21:18Hey, some debris from the ship.
01:21:20It's coming right by me.
01:21:22Dolittle, I'm going into them.
01:21:25I'm beginning to glow.
01:21:27They're taking me with them.
01:21:29With the Phoenix.
01:21:31I'm going to circle the universe forever.
01:21:35I'm with them now.
01:21:37I'll be back this way again someday.
01:21:41Dolittle, before it's too late,
01:21:44there's one last thing I just want to tell you.
01:21:50Kelby?
01:22:01Hey, Kelby?
01:22:03I've got a piece of debris.
01:22:05And I think I've figured out a way.
01:22:09Hey, Kelby?
01:22:11I've got a piece of debris.
01:22:13And I think I've figured out a way.
01:22:24Benson, Arizona
01:22:27New warm wind through your hair
01:22:30My body flies the galaxy
01:22:33My heart loves to be there
01:22:36Benson, Arizona
01:22:39The same stars in the sky
01:22:42But they seem so much kinder
01:22:45When we watch them, you and I

Recommended