Out in the Silence (2009) | Documentary / Indie Film [720p Blu-ray] - video Dailymotion

Dark Mattor

Documentary film directed by Joe Wilson and Dean Hamer. The film follows the journey of Joe Wilson, a gay man who returns to his conservative hometown in rural Pennsylvania to confront issues of LGBTQ+ acceptance and discrimination.  Release date: August 5, 2009 (USA) Directors: Joe Wilson, Dean Hamer Cast: Roxanne Hitchcock, Diane Granley, Joe Wilson, Kathy Springer, Linda Henderson, Mark Micklos, CJ Springer Producers: Joe Wilson, Dean Hamer Editor: Nels Bangerter

Transcript

00:00:00You

00:00:30I

00:00:32Hate it around here. I hate it so much

00:00:36I'm being threatened to have my house burnt down and stuff because I'm a faggot

00:00:42It's just ridiculous, I'm tired of living like that confining myself into this house so I can stay alive

00:00:53I remember what it's like to grow up in a place where you feel trapped and alone

00:00:57Where it's safer to be silent than to be yourself.

00:01:01I remember because I was born and raised in the same place as CJ, Oil City

00:01:06A small town with small town values in the hills of Western, Pennsylvania

00:01:27I

00:01:33Was the youngest in a big Irish Catholic family

00:01:36Mom was a nurse and dad was custodian in the Catholic school. We all attended

00:01:41We didn't have much money, but life was good, and I didn't have a care in the world

00:01:46As I got older I started to feel a little different

00:01:49By the time I was a teen I realized I was gay

00:01:53Unlike CJ, I was too afraid to let anyone know so I kept silent and managed to get by

00:02:02As soon as I graduated high school I got out of town

00:02:05I went off to college, joined the Peace Corps, and found myself identifying with others who had been silenced

00:02:15I ended up in Washington DC

00:02:18I

00:02:20Met Dean playing pickup basketball

00:02:23We got along right from the start and before long we fell in love and got married

00:02:29That's when I decided to do what I wish I could have done a long time ago

00:02:33Be open about who I was back in my hometown.

00:02:37I put our wedding announcement in Oil City's paper, the Derrick.

00:02:41It didn't take long for the letters to start pouring in

00:02:45Editor, common sense tells us marriage is between a man and a woman. I am shaking with anger as I write this

00:02:51I was sick to my stomach when I saw you read the announcement of the Wilson Hamer wedding. Homosexuality is immoral

00:02:58It would be better for you not to have been born

00:03:02Think about that

00:03:06The reactions to my wedding announcement didn't really surprise me

00:03:10Then I got a letter I didn't expect

00:03:13Dear Mr. Wilson, I searched for your address in Washington DC after I saw your wedding announcement in the paper

00:03:20I'm the mother of a 16 year old boy who was being treated unjustly because he is gay.

00:03:26I was told you were born and raised in Oil City, so I feel a connection to you

00:03:31Last night my son CJ cried for three hours after being abused in public because of being gay

00:03:37I'm so afraid for him. I don't know where else to turn

00:03:41Please help if you can. Sincerely, Kathy Springer

00:03:47Kathy's letter made me realize that things hadn't changed that much in Oil City

00:03:51Here it was

00:03:5225 years after my own fear of being found out forced me to keep quiet and kids like CJ still had to live in silence

00:04:01I wanted to go back to Oil City to meet CJ and Kathy and to help document their story

00:04:07I asked Dean to grab the camera

00:04:12I

00:04:14Dreamed of fires burning low

00:04:20Lay my head on my pillow

00:04:22I am a friend that I used to know

00:04:29I've got seven hours and fifteen miles to go

00:04:34Instead I am a good fool

00:04:41I'll be back home

00:04:49This was my school

00:04:52Every day when the bus stopped and I walked to that door to my locker

00:04:56Began eight hours of pure hell

00:04:59Well, kids would come by hit me with my locker. I'd fall on the ground. My books would fly everywhere

00:05:05I was slammed in the lockers hit with stuff script being yelled faggot

00:05:13Yeah

00:05:19This hall was always lovely I'd have to go back to school every day

00:05:23I'd have to go back to school every day and I'd have to go back to school every day

00:05:27This hall was always lovely I'd have to walk through a crowd of kids and there would always definitely be some

00:05:33Tripping going on or shoving or pushing

00:05:37Grab my backpack and yanking me and stupid stuff

00:05:44Terrified nobody cared none of the teachers cared none of the administrators cared

00:05:49They always got the gave a deaf ear and a blind eye

00:05:52They watch everything never say a word

00:05:58I

00:06:00Wanted to understand why my hometown was still so hostile to kids like CJ

00:06:05It seemed like talking with people who denounced our wedding announcement in the paper would be a logical place to start

00:06:11Only one couple agreed to be interviewed pastor Mark Miklos and his wife Diana if I grant

00:06:17two men the right to get married

00:06:20what's wrong with incest or

00:06:22Polygamy or and it would just just expand and we I think that things I think at times we've seen that happen

00:06:29in plumbing, there's fittings and they're called male and female fittings and

00:06:35You could probably

00:06:37Plumb a house with all male fittings, but it seems like the design is for male and female

00:06:45Not for two lights to be together

00:06:48It was hard to listen to what the Nick losses were saying

00:06:51But the fact that they invited us to their home and we were talking seemed like an opening

00:06:56When I asked them why they had taken the trouble to write about a wedding announcement

00:07:00They told me that their church had received an alert that asked members to write in protest

00:07:05It was sent by the Pennsylvania arm of the American Family Association a conservative values organization based in, Mississippi

00:07:13How did they key in and our little wedding announcement so fast?

00:07:16It turns out that the AFA's chapter president Diane Gramley lives right there in the area and has a program on a local radio station

00:07:27Welcome to American family focus on Pennsylvania issues a weekly program

00:07:32Which discusses some of the happenings that are of concern to the family and those who hold traditional values in Pennsylvania?

00:07:39And now your host Diane Gramley state director of American Family Association of Pennsylvania

00:07:45the question comes down to should it lifestyle that will result in the destruction of traditional marriage and the natural family not even mentioning the

00:07:52Physical mental and psychological dangers to those involved in this lifestyle be normalized and codified into the laws of the land

00:07:59Those involved in this lifestyle are sinners and they need to accept the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Just like you and me

00:08:06Back when I was growing up

00:08:08People didn't talk about lifestyle so openly and in my house sexuality or being gay wasn't discussed at all

00:08:15Even though right on our street just two doors down from our house. We had a neighbor with a rainbow flag on her door

00:08:22I've lived in this community since I was 17 years old, and I've always been open

00:08:26I mean, I never wore my sexuality on the sleeve, but people always knew who I was

00:08:32Nobody was ever now get him to me except one occasion

00:08:35I was hired at this firm and I worked there about six months and then

00:08:40The president of the company after the Christmas party and I took my partner came in a few days later and fired me

00:08:48Said he couldn't have the likes of somebody like me working for the company

00:08:51Okay, good you guys

00:08:54Yeah, come on

00:08:59This is my house when my stepdad sells smelly birds

00:09:05chookers chuckers or something

00:09:07chuckers quails and feathers

00:09:10probably

00:09:14Okay, the smell is a little too much

00:09:19That is not a place where gay was

00:09:21First day we came back from Christmas vacation

00:09:25this kid Richie who everybody's name was gay since like the day he was born came back to school and

00:09:32I went to my history class last last period of the day and

00:09:38Some kids stood up and came over to him cuz he was standing by the door cuz he didn't have a scene or anything yet and

00:09:44Some kid was like hey are you a faggot and I stood up and I got in his face, and I was like

00:09:49Why you got to call him that what did he do to you?

00:09:51He's just staying there hasn't said a word to anybody leave him alone. He's like what so you a hard-ass homo then

00:09:57He's like you think you can take me and I was like dude

00:09:59I might be a faggot

00:10:00But I'm more of a man than you be and he's like so you're admitting it and I was like I am

00:10:04Admitting that if you say another word to me like that again. I am gonna take your teeth out

00:10:09There was a lot he didn't even tell me you know at first because he'd come home

00:10:14And he'd be real quiet and he'd go to his room, and he wouldn't come out for hours

00:10:18I said you know CJ

00:10:20There's nothing you could possibly be in this world

00:10:25That would ever make me stop loving you

00:10:28so then finally one day he says I'm tired of denying who I am and

00:10:33I'm tired of the you know the abuse and the harassment the gay stake, and I'm just coming out with it. I don't care

00:10:42CJ told me he wanted to make videos himself

00:10:44So we gave him a camera and helped him get started by filming one of his friends

00:10:58I

00:10:59Was hoping CJ would use his camera to show what life was like for him as a gay teen

00:11:04For practice I asked him to join us at a concert. I helped organize featuring my friend anomaly Brennan

00:11:11I'm so so happy

00:11:13To be here anomaly is a transgender musician from a small town who lives her life very openly I

00:11:19Thought she might be an inspiration for folks in oil City

00:11:23There wasn't a big crowd, but they seemed to connect with anomaly in her music, and I received some gifts

00:11:28I received some little crew it's a crude oil

00:11:33I thought it was salad dressing

00:11:37Oil

00:11:40Oil

00:11:47Baby mama when you're gonna find me baby mama when you're gonna take me home

00:11:57Oil City used to be a very different kind of place

00:12:00Back in 1859 when Colonel Edwin Drake drilled the first oil well in the United States there

00:12:05It became a boomtown full of new people and fresh ideas

00:12:10The growth and prosperity lasted for another hundred years as oil City became a refining and industrial center and a melting pot for immigrants

00:12:19from all over Europe

00:12:21There was a lot of money in oil City and people used it to build imposing banks public libraries

00:12:27tall spired churches of all denominations and elegant Victorian houses

00:12:32But

00:12:35By the time I came along the big refineries and manufacturing plants had all shut down and

00:12:41Jobs and people were moving out

00:12:43the population dropped by half

00:12:46It became the sort of rust belt town that time seemed to be leaving behind

00:12:51Where things didn't change much and outsiders reviewed with suspicion?

00:12:56Like many small towns oil City is trying to make a comeback

00:13:01It still has its history and plenty of small-town charm, but it's not clear if that will be enough

00:13:22The biggest event of the year in oil City is the oil heritage parade

00:13:26Most people come out to watch their kids March or their friends ride around on silly floats even in the pouring rain

00:13:32So I wasn't expecting to see an anti-gay marriage protest led by none other than Diane Gramley of the American Family Association

00:13:40She'd already refused several requests to be formally interviewed. So I tried a more direct approach

00:13:50Yeah, we just wanted to know why you're so actively seeking to discriminate against gay and lesbian people

00:13:56Talk about it on the phone

00:13:58Well, why do you think that they don't deserve to live freely in society as you do?

00:14:03They have every right to live freely and they are living freely in society. I would like to know why you encourage

00:14:08Children to participate in a dangerous lifestyle

00:14:16They've been homosexuals throughout society, but they had not attempted to redefine marriage and family. How's the art of that?

00:14:22Everything else with gay people is okay, right they can teach

00:14:25They would if they have a job and they're doing the job

00:14:28They've every right to have that job and they could be out on the job and tell people that they're gay when they're at

00:14:45Things had become increasingly bad at CJ's high school

00:14:48When he finally complained about the abuse he was receiving the assistant principal blamed him for the trouble and called the state police

00:14:56Kathy decided to take CJ out of school and go to the school board for answers

00:15:12My name is

00:15:21Have you implemented or are you going to implement?

00:15:25change into how

00:15:28discrimination is handled in the school district I

00:15:31Recently had to pull my son out because of discrimination and how it was handled. Are you?

00:15:37Is there a better way of handling things?

00:15:40Tell me a favor. You give me a call. Okay, this isn't the time to

00:15:46Wanted to know it's you know, should I decide to send my son back? I don't want to be any changes

00:15:53There have been discussions taking place and there have been issues

00:16:11Give her her five minutes and get her out of here. I really don't see that

00:16:17They seen us as a threat or anything. We were just an annoyance

00:16:19Shortly after Kathy's appearance the school board did propose a plan for inclusive anti-discrimination training

00:16:26But there was suddenly an unusual amount of opposition from the community

00:16:30Especially from an african-american pastor who wanted the training to focus only on race and not even mentioned sexual orientation

00:16:39A Derek reporter discovered the reason for the racial outcry

00:16:42Diane Gramley had sent out another action alert

00:16:45This one accused the school district of trying to hijack civil rights to promote homosexuality

00:16:50The diversity training never happened. I

00:16:54Have to admit in this environment it was a clever strategy to pit one minority group against another

00:17:02We got married a couple years ago and we put our wedding announcement in the paper

00:17:06And it turned into this like controversy or whatever. I got beat up about a month ago

00:17:11I never thought people were racist or anything. I'm an Arab. This girl wouldn't stop talking crap and I

00:17:19Faced her at lunch and she plowed me right down. There was blood all over me. I I didn't have a chance

00:17:25This place is rough

00:17:27If you are not a man

00:17:30With white and who likes to do the missionary position, you know, it's over

00:17:36Although gay people are everywhere. We're not always visible

00:17:40Roxanne and some of her friends wanted to change that in oil city

00:17:43They put together a volunteer group to participate in community activities like town cleanup day

00:17:51Everybody that's driving by thinks that we're on work release and that's why we're out here

00:17:56It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun

00:17:58It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun

00:18:01We're on work release and that's why we're out here

00:18:09Just being out in the community doing something just helping

00:18:13A nasty day, but we did it anyway

00:18:15Hey great

00:18:17Can you say a little bit about what you were doing today?

00:18:22Cleanup day was supposed to be a community-wide event

00:18:25But we only saw one other volunteer who wasn't part of Roxanne's group

00:18:29So I asked her if there were a visible gay and lesbian group in oil city what anyone in the community object

00:18:35I guess you're gonna have radicals everywhere and they'll find a way to articulate

00:18:40What bothers something but how can you target people who are doing something good?

00:18:44Oh

00:19:02No, CJ, is there anything on there you don't want me to say

00:19:10That's on

00:19:14Okay

00:19:44I

00:19:47Make

00:20:10How do you feel as a parent that the cyber school is the option that I had to turn to

00:20:15I

00:20:16Don't like the idea. No my son. I wanted him to be able to be involved with all the other school activities

00:20:24the

00:20:26camaraderie

00:20:27You know everything the prom the whole schmear, you know, and I feel that he was gypped

00:20:34He doesn't have that interaction

00:20:38That I think he needs

00:20:45You

00:20:48Do you know if there's any same-sex couples that are

00:20:54Would you guys

00:20:59You wouldn't like it

00:21:15You know one thing about living in a small town is that the gene pool is so limited, you know

00:21:20Trying to meet somebody is really hard

00:21:34The cool part about it is everybody's saying the same thing about me people asking me what in the world's going on

00:21:40Cuz I'm running around smiling a lot

00:21:43You know all of a sudden I've been telling people I

00:21:46Have a family

00:21:48In some way she's the total opposite of me, you know

00:21:51I can be aggressive and antagonistic and she's just kind of quiet and the peacemaker and she's just calm

00:22:00And she's very gifted she's great with people she is the best thing that ever happened to me

00:22:12Why do the soldiers

00:22:43I'm just

00:22:56Since I was told I could do a PowerPoint on anything I wanted to do that interest me

00:23:00I chose something that I know a lot about

00:23:03Which is the struggle of GLBT gay lesbian bisexual and transgender people in our country

00:23:09Seven years ago a Wyoming young man named Matthew Shepard a

00:23:1221 year old college student was taken out into the desert and was savagely beaten to death for being an openly gay, man

00:23:18There's picture that says

00:23:21What part of love don't you understand CJ was doing a project on discrimination from one of his cyber school classes

00:23:27When he asked me where he could find information about the question of what makes people gay

00:23:31I told him he might want to interview a real expert. I'm dr. Dean Hamer. I work at the National Institutes of Health

00:23:37and

00:23:39I've been working on the genetics of human personalities in the last three years

00:23:44Did you go through a lot of controversy when you first came out with the thought that oh, I'm gonna you know

00:23:49Look for why gay people are that way when I decided to study sexual orientation

00:23:54the reaction from most of my scientific colleagues was

00:23:58What are you doing? No one's ever done that before

00:24:01Is that really scientific and of course is they thought about it a little bit they said actually that's a really important problem

00:24:07You should study that

00:24:09Almost every aspect of personality has a strong genetic basis

00:24:13Being gay is just one of those it just happens to be more controversial than most of the other ones

00:24:17All right. Well, if it's only a gene that can be destroyed, why can't we just destroy it and just be straight?

00:24:23Because it's not just a gene

00:24:25It's also what happens in your brain your pattern of thoughts of feelings and emotions that develop over your entire

00:24:34Life so even though that may have started out as no more than a few genes and a few cells in your brain

00:24:40It is now a part of who you are

00:24:43So changing your orientation would be the same as changing

00:24:48Everything about you which nobody can do and which nobody should be forced. All right

00:24:53Is it okay if I use your comments and you and your partner's faces in this video? Yes

00:25:01Joe

00:25:03Okay, I

00:25:07Wasn't sure if we'd hear again from the folks who condemned our wedding announcement in the paper

00:25:11But when pastor Miklos called to invite us to lunch with his family, I thought I'd see where it would lead

00:25:16when you

00:25:18Contacted me or I contacted you or however

00:25:21Occurred one of the things that I prayed was that that you would see Christ in us

00:25:25Why do I just don't see my life through a Christian framework? That's just not

00:25:34Get to a point where we respect that respect each other well

00:25:39No, I

00:25:41mean I can respect your Christian beliefs, but if

00:25:48Some of those beliefs are aimed at limiting

00:25:52Other people's full participation in society. No, I can't respect that. I have to struggle against that

00:25:57I can respect the mark Nicholas that I know

00:26:01In hopes that he reaches a higher point of enlightenment and that I would be his friend, you know through that process

00:26:11Yeah

00:26:19What was your first thought

00:26:22When I first came out

00:26:24My first reaction was probably

00:26:27We're probably shocked why

00:26:30This because you think I was putting on a front

00:26:34No, I just

00:26:36Didn't really think you'd come out

00:26:38Laura

00:26:41Your turn

00:26:43How'd you feel when Richie first came out

00:26:47And I was happy for you too because you finally came out like because you know if you're gay or you've always been gay

00:26:54Finally came out

00:27:01I could never

00:27:03Deny who I am

00:27:05Couldn't deny

00:27:07I was trying to find ways around it, but people kept directing the question. Are you gay to my face? I

00:27:13Didn't know what to say, but I couldn't deny who I was. So I ended up having I ended up saying that

00:27:20You know what? Yeah

00:27:23So what did it what is it to you big deal and I guess it was a big deal everybody I

00:27:31Know that everybody cared because at that day everybody began to hate me. I was no longer anybody that anyone liked

00:27:38everybody hated CJ

00:27:40I

00:27:47It's actually rather phenomenal and sometimes a little scary that so much has happened in such a short amount of time

00:27:55Roxanne and Linda had decided to buy and renovate the Latonia a historic theater that had seen better days

00:28:02They wanted to help revitalize downtown oil city by creating a space for special events. I

00:28:08Came in for a massage one day my massage therapist said, you know, the original chandelier is here. You gotta go see it

00:28:15she loaned me this tiny little itty-bitty flashlight and I snuck up and the door was unlocked and the room was dark and I

00:28:22came in and

00:28:23My little heart just went pitter-patter. I

00:28:26Could not believe

00:28:28Something like that was here in oil city

00:28:31It just seemed almost criminal to me that it was, you know, just just sitting

00:28:38The building wasn't even really on the market. We just called up the guys and how much do you want for it?

00:28:42He told us and we said, okay

00:28:44Let's sign papers and we just kind of went from there

00:28:47Once it's ready. There's got to be a grand opening. I don't think that chandelier has been lit up and probably

00:28:5450 years Wow

00:29:0192 burgundy Corsica

00:29:07Yeah, like I got a couple grand to throw around a nice fancy schmancy car

00:29:11$150 that was it. I wasn't even into the 200

00:29:17Stuff to get a new exhaust battery tires the title transferred my license and then I'll be on there

00:29:25I

00:29:29Don't think I'll probably ever be able to like walk down through the streets of anywhere around here

00:29:33I just have like a reputation and stuff. It's a badass and all this stuff, but right now my life consists of

00:29:40Being around my animals in my garage with my mommy

00:29:45What am I thinking about

00:29:49Nothing real

00:29:51Eventually once in a while wondering if this thing will actually release his garage

00:30:21After

00:30:26CJ told me that he was sticking close to home to avoid being hassled. I didn't see him for a while

00:30:31His high school's homecoming was his first time out of the house in months

00:30:36Here comes CJ over there. He's walking by this

00:30:42Hey, how you doing? Yeah, what's going on? How you been pretty peachy? Yeah

00:30:49Life's good. I like your earrings

00:30:58What do you guys got they didn't want to be on camera

00:31:07It was great to see CJ out of the house, but I didn't want to make him nervous around his friends

00:31:12I told him I'd catch up with him later

00:31:18I

00:31:22Was leaving the game there was a whole group of skater kids outside and like are you still gay? I'm like ain't a faggot

00:31:28I'm talking about

00:31:30Okay

00:31:31You guys watch me walk away and stuff and I was like

00:31:37You know once you kind of come out I mean it's hard to like go back in yeah noticed yeah, I

00:31:45I actually had people talk to me on Friday. I never eyes and I'm in since last year

00:31:52Yeah, we noticed a lot of people came up and kind of greeted you and give you a hug. Mm-hmm

00:31:57That's because they think you're not

00:32:01Cover it up at least I can get away from here

00:32:06You shouldn't have to live in denial, you know

00:32:10But I know there's been times where he wished he would have just kept his mouth shut and nobody would know and

00:32:17No, every time I go into public. I wish I would never open my mouth

00:32:21Every single day

00:32:24It's hell it's not like DC or New York where everybody's liberal I get threatened to get killed

00:32:32Ain't fun

00:32:34I

00:32:41I'm here tonight to say that I'm deeply concerned about the charges of harassment violence and discrimination

00:32:46That have roiled the Franklin School District for the past year and a half

00:32:50Gay students and students of color at the high school have been the primary targets of these activities

00:32:54Their ability to speak for themselves is greatly hampered by fears of backlash if they do so publicly

00:33:00Death threats have been issued against students in this school district and

00:33:04It just pains me that no action has actually been taken. So thank you for accepting these comments into the public record

00:33:09I appreciate it and I look forward to your response

00:33:17It was obvious that the school board wasn't concerned about CJ or any gay student but the problem wasn't just with the school

00:33:25It can happen to your town

00:33:27AFA presents a look at how a handful of homosexual activists change the very moral fiber of the city

00:33:32They are taking this video is being promoted by a local Christian radio station to counter increasingly visible gay people in oil city

00:33:40Learn the strategies used by gay activists and don't let this happen to your city

00:33:45If it's not happening in your town get ready because it is going to happen

00:33:48Purchase your copy or a five-pack to share with others today and spread the news

00:33:53They're coming to your town

00:34:02Is that too long? No, that's probably okay. That's my chainsaw

00:34:08Mine disappeared. I don't know where mine went. You each have your own chainsaw? I used to

00:34:14Whose is bigger? Hers would be bigger. I bet I've cut more wood than she has though

00:34:19Linda and Roxanne were trying to go about their business

00:34:21But when they saw the AFA video accusing people like them of trying to take over the town

00:34:26Linda came up with a poetic response. Why do you suppose there are empty storefronts? They're choking our town

00:34:34Why do you suppose there's a brain drain? They're choking our town

00:34:40Why do you suppose there is no unique art? They're choking our town

00:34:45It's time for a change. Stop choking our town

00:34:53You like that?

00:34:58Hi guys! Hi!

00:35:00Another case of anti-gay discrimination had taken place several years earlier in Titusville

00:35:04A town just up the road from Oil City

00:35:07It involved a student named Tim Dale

00:35:10I thought he and his family were the only people in the town who were gay

00:35:13I thought he and his family might be able to help Kathy and CJ figure out how to get their school district to take them more seriously

00:35:21The whole thing started from me standing up for one kid

00:35:24And no one ever ever once said a word to anybody

00:35:27They just stood there. My best friends, people that I've known since I was this big. I just rolled their eyes

00:35:33You call them your friends. You trust them and then all of a sudden they turn on you. I've been there

00:35:38What really irritates me is the fact that I used to go out of my way to actually cause bodily harm to gay people

00:35:48We used to use it like a sport. It was stupid. And then when you came out of the closet and told me that you were gay, I thought, oh no, no, no, you can't be

00:35:59And I got to thinking, that gay kid's yours

00:36:02You're going to disown him because of his sexual orientation?

00:36:07Or are you going to love him for who he is inside? And I thought, hell with it. I'm going to love him for who he is inside

00:36:14All right, and I'll tell you what, you try to shed 40 years of hatred

00:36:18overnight

00:36:19It's just not done. It's something you got to learn how to live with, deal with

00:36:25And you got to be sincere. I mean, he's my kid. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna turn my back on him

00:36:30I won't. I will never turn my back on him

00:36:32I get to eat. See you again.

00:36:34Thanks for that

00:36:36I can't believe you got it on camera

00:36:38Shock of all shocks. I never thought that would happen

00:36:42It seemed like Kathy really perked up when Diane told her that their lawsuit had forced the school district to implement diversity training that included sexual orientation

00:36:52We were the first people in all these years to stand up to our school system

00:36:56And it was because what they were doing was wrong

00:36:58It breaks my heart. I mean, I could just cry

00:37:02That there are other kids out there going through

00:37:04Similar situations

00:37:06None of this should ever happen

00:37:08I don't know that I'll change the world

00:37:10But if I can even just educate a few people

00:37:12Like, look

00:37:14They weren't put on this earth to be tortured like this

00:37:17We're getting ready for the grand opening

00:37:19And all of the sudden

00:37:21Diane Gramley sent out a letter

00:37:23Warning everyone about

00:37:25How dangerous we are

00:37:27And we have this homosexual agenda

00:37:29And her brother

00:37:31Goes to work with a guy

00:37:33Who's ministering to the school district

00:37:35And he says

00:37:37You know, you're not supposed to be there

00:37:39You're not supposed to be there

00:37:41You're not supposed to be there

00:37:43You're not supposed to be there

00:37:45And he goes to work with a guy

00:37:47Whose minister stood right in the pulpit

00:37:49And said to boycott the Latonia

00:37:51What?

00:37:53Where's that coming from?

00:37:55Diane Gramley

00:37:57She started an all-in-all-out campaign against us

00:37:59And she's saying to people

00:38:01Don't do business with the Latonia

00:38:03Because it's run by a lesbian couple

00:38:05We just wanted to have a business

00:38:07If all this city wants is churches

00:38:09Then what do they need an Art Deco theater for?

00:38:15There's something that's going on

00:38:17In our Senate and House of Representatives

00:38:19Pretty much as we speak right now

00:38:21It's a hate crimes bill

00:38:23It's pretty much saying that

00:38:25If I as a pastor

00:38:27Would share from the pulpit

00:38:29The word of God about homosexuality

00:38:31Someone in my congregation took that

00:38:33Did something against

00:38:35An individual

00:38:37Who is a homosexual

00:38:39I could be prosecuted as well

00:38:41For sharing the word of God

00:38:43In the pulpit

00:38:45This is information that Diane Gramley

00:38:47Forwarded and emails out as well

00:38:49Father God

00:38:51You're a mighty God

00:38:53You created this world

00:38:55We thank you for your love

00:38:57That shows no discrimination against anybody

00:38:59And Lord you know these debates that are going on

00:39:01In the House and in the Senate

00:39:03You can supernaturally reach down there

00:39:05And stop those men and women from voting yes on this bill today

00:39:07And so Father God

00:39:09We just pray that this bill

00:39:11Is created somewhere

00:39:13Somehow Lord and we pray this in Jesus name

00:39:15Amen

00:39:17We as Christians

00:39:19We don't hate the homosexuals

00:39:21I could have been a homosexual

00:39:23I'm single

00:39:25I've had feelings

00:39:27You had feelings of attraction to women

00:39:29I had feelings yes but I knew they were wrong

00:39:31Before I ever even read it in the Bible

00:39:35You know the scriptures say

00:39:37We've got to have somewhere else to live by

00:39:40As the AFA and their followers

00:39:42Were trying to use scriptural rules and prayer

00:39:44To limit legal protections for gay people

00:39:46The state of Pennsylvania was considering

00:39:48Expanding its anti-discrimination law

00:39:50To include sexual orientation

00:39:54Kathy was invited to tell her story

00:39:56About discrimination in CJ's school

00:39:58At a public hearing

00:40:00I'm not a public speaker

00:40:02And I don't know what I'd say

00:40:04I just need to hear

00:40:06How it's going

00:40:09I printed out a copy of the law

00:40:11Okay good good

00:40:13Yeah that would be good

00:40:15Where you see the underline

00:40:17They're just trying to add sexual orientation

00:40:19Gender identity or expression

00:40:21You know I don't understand

00:40:23Where they even get off

00:40:25Not including

00:40:27Gay and lesbian

00:40:29Let's get our heads out of our asses here

00:40:35On June 13th

00:40:37A special rights bill was introduced in Harrisburg

00:40:39This is Diane Gramley with the American Family Association

00:40:41Of Pennsylvania with a call to action

00:40:43Advocates for the passage of these bills

00:40:45Deny they are special rights bills

00:40:47But in what other situation is a law

00:40:49Specifically written to include a group of people

00:40:51Simply because of the sexual activity

00:40:53In which they engage

00:40:55They have never been required to sit in the back of the bus

00:40:57Or drink from designated water fountains

00:40:59They've never been considered less than human

00:41:01As African Americans once were

00:41:03Homosexual activists are trying to hijack

00:41:05The civil rights movement

00:41:07By pulling the victim card

00:41:09And trying to seek the normalization

00:41:11Of their destructive lifestyle

00:41:13People like Diane are using

00:41:15Misinformation to stir up

00:41:17Irrational fears

00:41:19To kind of push people back into the closet

00:41:21It's not going to happen

00:41:23But when they stir up that fear

00:41:25That's what creates the problems

00:41:27That's what puts people like CJ at risk

00:41:29Because those messages go out there

00:41:31And say oh those are the people we're supposed to hate

00:41:33Just seeing somebody at a party

00:41:35And saying oh that's the faggot

00:41:37Let's go punch him

00:41:39Literally knock him out

00:41:41Can I imagine that? Oh yeah

00:41:43I can imagine that

00:41:45I mean I was

00:41:47That type of a person at one time

00:41:49Now that may be shocking to you

00:41:51But in my journey in life

00:41:53I'm no longer like that

00:41:55And a big part of that

00:41:57Is my Christianity

00:41:59My faith in Christ

00:42:01I truly believe that Jesus Christ

00:42:03Has changed my character

00:42:05So that I don't do that

00:42:07Nor do I want to do those things anymore

00:42:09I mean it's wrong, it's wrong to do that

00:42:11It's wrong to violate

00:42:13Anybody

00:42:15I became a different person

00:42:17Do you think there will come a time though

00:42:19When we don't

00:42:21Disagree about the place that gay, lesbian, bi,

00:42:23Sexual and trans people have

00:42:25In the world?

00:42:27Maybe aspects of it

00:42:29I don't know

00:42:31I don't know

00:42:33I'd have to

00:42:37That would be a big change for me

00:42:41My interactions with Pastor Miklos

00:42:43Were odd

00:42:45Ever since the wedding announcement

00:42:47I felt like I had been battling against people

00:42:49Who use religion to deny gay people

00:42:51Basic rights and visibility

00:42:53Pastor Miklos was open

00:42:55To looking at things in a different way

00:42:57I never thought I'd become friends

00:42:59With someone who didn't view me as his equal

00:43:01But his willingness

00:43:03To examine his own beliefs

00:43:05Was helping me to see that

00:43:07Not all religious people fell into the box

00:43:09That I often put them in

00:43:11Good afternoon, how are you doing?

00:43:13Hi Diane, how are you?

00:43:15I wanted to introduce you to Kathy Springer and CJ

00:43:17They're from Venango County

00:43:19CJ is the young boy

00:43:21Who was in Franklin High School

00:43:23And was experiencing harassment

00:43:25Discrimination

00:43:27What do you think of that?

00:43:29I need to get in here

00:43:35Diane Bramley

00:43:37From the American Family Association

00:43:39Of Pennsylvania

00:43:41Civil rights protections have long been

00:43:43Fought for by disenfranchised groups of people

00:43:45African Americans

00:43:47Led the fight for civil rights

00:43:49Seeking the right to vote

00:43:51And to no longer be required to sit at the back of the bus

00:43:53But he curses skin color

00:43:55And national origin

00:43:57Again, Bramley was trying

00:43:59To use race as a wedge to divide

00:44:01But this time she was

00:44:03Dealing with legislators who were experienced

00:44:05In civil rights law

00:44:07I was hoping they'd be more open to Kathy's testimony

00:44:09I'm sorry, I'm already nervous

00:44:11I'm not a public speaker

00:44:13At this time I'd like to tell you about

00:44:15My son, CJ Bills

00:44:17At the time he was 15 years old

00:44:19And attended a public school

00:44:21In Vanango County

00:44:23There was an incident on a school bus one day

00:44:25He was on a field trip

00:44:27There were teachers monitoring

00:44:29This whole trip

00:44:31Kids were throwing things at him

00:44:33Calling him faggot, queer, gay

00:44:35Asking if he wanted to perform

00:44:37Sex acts on them

00:44:39The teachers just turned their head

00:44:41And acted like it never happened

00:44:43We've had our house

00:44:45Threatened to be burned down

00:44:47We've gotten phone calls by these boys

00:44:49Saying we want to see

00:44:51What color a faggot bleeds

00:44:53He was vulnerable

00:44:55He was scared

00:44:57He didn't want to go to school

00:44:59His grades were dropping

00:45:01He was suicidal

00:45:07I just have one more thing to say

00:45:09I hope it never comes to your family

00:45:11Where one of your children are tortured

00:45:13For being who they are

00:45:15Thank you

00:45:20Sometimes black people

00:45:22Have a problem with

00:45:24People who are different

00:45:26Comparing their

00:45:28Experiences

00:45:30With the black experience

00:45:32Because of your experience

00:45:34You're going to be able to help

00:45:36Other young people

00:45:38It may be too long

00:45:40But this doesn't happen

00:45:42God bless you for being who you are

00:45:44No matter what

00:45:46Thank you very much

00:45:50Thank you

00:45:52Okay, Diane

00:45:54We actually wanted to ask you

00:45:56How you respond to the very personal

00:45:58Testimonies of CJ and Kathleen

00:46:00Like I said at the beginning of my testimony

00:46:02I oppose all discrimination

00:46:04And Franklin School District should not have done to him

00:46:06What they permitted to do

00:46:08So will you join us in fighting discrimination

00:46:10Against gay and lesbian people in Franklin?

00:46:12We're not going to join

00:46:14No

00:46:16Because of the roads that will open

00:46:19Cathy's testimony may not have influenced Grambling,

00:46:22but it did have an impact on the legislators.

00:46:25After the hearing, one of the staff offered to help Cathy and C.J.

00:46:28contact the ACLU to press a legal case against their school district.

00:46:32Prior to this, I figured the ACLU,

00:46:35what the heck, all they can do is tell me now, you know,

00:46:38well, the next thing I know, I got a return phone call

00:46:42and we had a great lawyer from the ACLU.

00:46:50What do you think about the Latonia?

00:46:53I'm glad that Roxanne got it,

00:46:56because it was the guy that wanted to scrap the whole place out piece by piece.

00:47:00And look at, get that picture of that chandelier or something.

00:47:05This thing is scary.

00:47:08It could fall in a second.

00:47:10And plus, it's bright.

00:47:14Just two days before the grand opening,

00:47:17Roxanne and Linda got a call from a neighboring businessman

00:47:20about their homosexual agenda at the Latonia.

00:47:23What happened in the phone call you got?

00:47:25I said, if you want to listen to people like Diane Brown,

00:47:28I said, you're welcome to, but I said, you know what,

00:47:31we're trying to do something wonderful for the community here,

00:47:34and I said, I want to know what Diane Brown has done to promote the community,

00:47:38besides for which she's been a great advocate.

00:47:42Besides for witch hunts.

00:47:44I said, she's always on a witch hunt about something.

00:47:47Did you say that?

00:47:48Yes, I did.

00:47:50The negative messages sting so bad

00:47:54that it takes probably 100 positive to keep you on track

00:47:58when it's that hateful.

00:48:05After Kathy and CJ's case about discrimination at the high school

00:48:08got attention in the community,

00:48:10the local college brought in a gay Christian performing arts group from Pittsburgh

00:48:13to help people see things from a youth perspective.

00:48:16Somehow, I managed to get CJ and Pastor Miklos to attend.

00:48:24I hope that our performance puts a face to gay Christians

00:48:29and puts a face to gay people.

00:48:31Because there's a lot of people that don't know things about gay people

00:48:34and they have the stereotypical assumptions of gay people.

00:48:37What you just said about stereotypes,

00:48:40is that reversed at times as well?

00:48:43As far as gay people having stereotypes about straight people?

00:48:49Yeah, I do it.

00:48:51If I stereotyped straight people as dressing badly,

00:48:54and having...

00:48:57We wrote a letter to the editor and they captured us.

00:49:01And we became friends.

00:49:03Awesome.

00:49:04But I'm sorry that part of the reason you're not in school

00:49:07is because of the violence that was perpetrated against you.

00:49:10Thank you.

00:49:11Under any circumstances.

00:49:13How did he come around like that?

00:49:15I guess that he's been thinking about it.

00:49:18I don't know.

00:49:19I don't know.

00:49:20I don't know.

00:49:21I don't know.

00:49:22I don't know.

00:49:23I don't know.

00:49:24I guess that he's been thinking about it.

00:49:28Wow.

00:49:29At times, we all get stereotyped, don't we?

00:49:32Huh?

00:49:33Sometimes we're not so bad as what our first impressions are.

00:49:42You know there are people who don't care what the sky's spreading.

00:49:47And even if they listen, they have seen you at work

00:49:50and they have seen everything you've done.

00:49:52I know, but we've got a double whammy against us.

00:49:54You know that.

00:49:55I know you do, but you have to not let this take away

00:49:59from one you've worked so hard for.

00:50:01Please, put on your face and say,

00:50:03you're not going to do this to us.

00:50:05And make this just be as wonderful of an event as it can be.

00:50:09And it's going to be.

00:50:10What are we going to say?

00:50:11Letonia.

00:50:12Letonia!

00:50:13Letonia!

00:50:14See?

00:50:15That's what we needed.

00:50:17I was telling Joe that you and Roxanne have been working

00:50:19on something like 18-hour days getting this done.

00:50:21I commend you because there's many weeks that I don't work 18 hours.

00:50:24I just want to put that out there.

00:50:26But it hasn't been us by ourselves.

00:50:29We've had a lot of people helping.

00:50:31And if you're looking now, there's an army up there

00:50:33helping us get the room ready.

00:50:35We're KQW 96.3 at the Letonia.

00:50:38I'm Sam Horton.

00:50:43Why are you here?

00:50:44Because I love Rox and Linda so much.

00:50:48That's the only reason why.

00:50:52I'm probably going to cry.

00:50:54It's like people are coming through to let us know.

00:51:05Listen to this.

00:51:07The Letonia Square Ball features one of the biggest chandeliers

00:51:12in the United States.

00:51:14That, maybe, is what I call something.

00:51:18As the grand opening of the Letonia approached,

00:51:21Roxanne and Linda could count on the support of their close friends.

00:51:24But it wasn't clear whether the community at large

00:51:27was ready to accept them.

00:51:29I think this community just kind of rejects people

00:51:33without even knowing who they are.

00:51:36I mean, it's nothing personal, okay?

00:51:38It's just...

00:51:43How can I say it?

00:51:45How can I say it?

00:51:47I guess I'm old-fashioned.

00:51:49When I walk into somewhere and I see two men together,

00:51:51two women together, I stare.

00:51:53But 10 years ago, when I was with my wife, people stared.

00:51:56Now, I don't get that stare.

00:51:58So, I mean, it changes over time.

00:51:59People are getting a little more accepting of it,

00:52:02but not a lot.

00:52:04I don't know why I suddenly just changed my mind.

00:52:09I don't think it was as sudden as it seemed.

00:52:12People have to confront those issues

00:52:15because those people are neighbors.

00:52:19Some of the people around here are so...

00:52:22What do you want to call it?

00:52:23Closed-mind.

00:52:25You know?

00:52:26They want their life.

00:52:27They want everybody to live the way they want them to live.

00:52:29Now, I guess I was partially thinking about that, too,

00:52:33until I talked to you.

00:52:35This is small-town America.

00:52:38This is where we are.

00:52:41And I think when people do speak out here,

00:52:43they will be surprised by the support that they get,

00:52:47you know, not by the other stuff.

00:53:04Okay.

00:53:05Clutch all the way to the floor, left foot.

00:53:07That one?

00:53:08Yeah, but with your left foot.

00:53:09Okay.

00:53:10And don't let it up.

00:53:12It'll go right through that garage door.

00:53:14Now, keep it down and put it in reverse,

00:53:16which is way, way, way back and over.

00:53:18That way?

00:53:19Yeah.

00:53:20Well, this is a whole new experience and world here.

00:53:23Huh.

00:53:25See, I think it's sticking around.

00:53:27I used to change.

00:53:29Hey, hey

00:53:32Remember when we used to play

00:53:37Out in your backyard almost every day

00:53:42Those were good times

00:53:47After two years, Kathy and CJ, with the help of the ACLU,

00:53:52finally reached a settlement with a school district

00:53:55that included a promise of comprehensive

00:53:57anti-discrimination training.

00:53:59CJ and I drove over to the high school

00:54:01to meet Kathy and the ACLU lawyer.

00:54:04They were observing the training

00:54:05to make sure it included sexual orientation.

00:54:09We had to drive my car

00:54:10because CJ's $150 special had already been scrapped.

00:54:14When you stop, clutch in.

00:54:16If you're in gear, clutch down.

00:54:17All the way to the floor.

00:54:20Watch, man.

00:54:21Every time you stop, you got to use the clutch.

00:54:27So, how'd everything go?

00:54:29I wish they could have had this

00:54:32in-service training program two years ago.

00:54:35Maybe we could have avoided all of these problems.

00:54:39I thought it was very good.

00:54:40I was very pleased.

00:54:41I was very pleased.

00:54:44My hands are freezing.

00:54:46Let's go to the restaurant.

00:54:49Okay, dude, let me hear your comments.

00:54:50What do you think about that?

00:54:51That's awesome.

00:54:52I want to find out if he has, like, more programs set up,

00:54:56like, same thing as this or different ones.

00:54:59It's taken us two years,

00:55:01but it's a step that I never thought would happen.

00:55:04It's been quite a journey for you, also.

00:55:06Yeah, I'm just a little old back hills mom.

00:55:13But I'll keep being that voice.

00:55:19Even if my son moves away from this area,

00:55:21which he'd like very much to do,

00:55:24I'm not going anywhere.

00:55:26I'm still going to be here.

00:55:28I'm still going to stand up against the bigots

00:55:31until they wake up and see the world for what it is.

00:55:43♪♪

00:55:52♪♪

00:55:57Welcome to the hotel.

00:55:59Thank you.

00:56:00♪♪

00:56:10♪♪

00:56:17The spirit of the building is alive again, you know?

00:56:20It just is.

00:56:21I think this is just another piece that's going to come alive

00:56:25and add to all the other things that are happening here.

00:56:28I know I'm excited about the vision and the energy

00:56:31that people have here to bring this alive.

00:56:33It's exciting.

00:56:34The chandelier's gorgeous.

00:56:35Yeah.

00:56:36I can't wait to see it lit up.

00:56:38♪♪

00:56:42Thank you all for coming this evening.

00:56:44This is a fantastic night.

00:56:49When you start on a large project like this,

00:56:52you need to celebrate some mile markers.

00:56:56What's exciting to me is watching what's happening

00:56:58throughout Oil City.

00:57:00It means a lot to me to see all these faces,

00:57:03to see all these people who are behind this project.

00:57:07And it hasn't always been easy.

00:57:11And I think I'm going to have to turn it over to Rox right now.

00:57:15My partner, Roxanne.

00:57:19Okay, Roxie, are we ready?

00:57:22Okay.

00:57:23All right.

00:57:24One, two, three.

00:57:29We actually had imagined that moment for a long time.

00:57:33Just seeing the community's reaction to that

00:57:35just made it all worthwhile.

00:57:38We love this old building.

00:57:40We're fixing it up.

00:57:41We want to turn it into something viable

00:57:44and economically reasonable for Oil City.

00:57:47So we're going to make a new building.

00:57:50And we're going to put it in the middle of the city.

00:57:53So we're going to put it in the middle of the city.

00:57:56And we're going to have a lot of people

00:57:58come to this building and say,

00:57:59I love this building.

00:58:01And the first thing that I want to do is

00:58:03make a building that people can come to

00:58:05economically reasonable for Oil City,

00:58:07but in the same token, we're giving something back to the city.

00:58:10It's all about being able to be ourselves

00:58:14without somebody questioning every motive we might have.

00:58:20Yeah, what they call an agenda, we call our lives.

00:58:27We come against the strongholds of sin in this city in the name of Jesus.

00:58:32And we tear those strongholds down in the name of Jesus.

00:58:36Father, I thank you that there is an army of believers

00:58:40ready to take this city for Jesus Christ.

00:58:56Diane?

00:58:58Diane?

00:59:02I just wanted to ask you one more thing, Diane.

00:59:09It had taken me a long time to get there,

00:59:11but in that moment, as Diane was treating me like I didn't exist,

00:59:16I finally started to see that battling with her wasn't a useful way

00:59:20to help make change in my small hometown.

00:59:23Change was starting to happen, not through confrontation,

00:59:26but because of people who decided not to leave like I did so many years ago.

00:59:31People who had the courage to start living their lives just a little more openly,

00:59:35and because other people in the community were willing to meet them halfway.

00:59:40You know, there have been times when I'm like,

00:59:42how could they think that, you know?

00:59:45And, you know, I'm in a different place with that now.

00:59:48I mean, I really respect how you see the world

00:59:50and how it's made you into the people that opened us up in the way you have.

00:59:56You know, a lot of times we're afraid of the unknown.

01:00:01And you are the unknown question.

01:00:04You can talk about the issues, but the reality is that there are people behind there

01:00:08that we need to be sensitive to and try to look at their perspective and where they're at.

01:00:14I mean, the benefit of the whole thing, I think, is that we have a friendship.

01:00:19You know?

01:00:21Hopefully we're growing as human beings, you know, through it all.

01:00:26Look at that.

01:00:31Do you see my cold air intake?

01:00:33Are you seeing them fuses?

01:00:35I can't say I'm much of a car person, but it looks nice.

01:00:38Huh?

01:00:39$4,388.68.

01:00:43Oh, yeah, I remember every dime.

01:00:44Where'd you get that kind of loot?

01:00:46Off of that there, what do you call it, ACLU thing?

01:00:51Dude, you made it.

01:00:52Yeah, you know I made it.

01:00:54Can we go for a ride?

01:00:55If you want to.

01:01:00Take it easy.

01:01:21It rides like a Cadillac.

01:01:25I went from being a jock, an athlete, a basketball player, a baseball player.

01:01:31Then it turned around to I was a queer, I was a faggot,

01:01:34I was no longer the guy that dislocated your shoulder in football practice.

01:01:38I was just a sissy because of what I think looks hot.

01:01:42And whatever I think looks good just automatically makes me into a little fairy,

01:01:47but it doesn't because I'm still me and I'll always remain me.

01:01:52I'm not going to change.

01:02:22I couldn't see who wasn't running me.

01:02:25But now I know, know who the hell I am.

01:02:29I'm fully aware of what I can do because this is my life.

01:02:36This is my life.

01:02:37I said this is my life.

01:02:39I only got one life.

01:02:42My mind, it races and tries to play tricks on me,

01:02:45making me doubt myself and what I know that I can be.

01:02:49But now those thoughts coming fast, so fast I let them go

01:02:53because I choose to be happy and this I know.

01:02:58Set me free.

01:03:00Set me free.

01:03:01Come on and set me free.

01:03:03I gotta set me free.

01:03:06Set me free.

01:03:08Set me free.

01:03:09Come on and set me free.

01:03:11I gotta set me free.

01:03:13Free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free,

01:03:17free, free, free, free, free, free, free, set me free.

01:03:24Set me free.

01:03:25Come on and set me free.

01:03:27I gotta set me free.

01:03:30Set me free.

01:03:33This looks like, what was that one person we have on tape saying?

01:03:36Interspecies kind of thing?

01:03:37Oh, yeah.

01:03:38I love my dogie all day.

01:03:40Every day. Every day you throw down undercoats.

01:03:43Oh yeah, get that snow girl.

01:04:10Set me free. Set me free. Come on and set me free. I gotta set me free.

01:04:40I gotta set me free.

Out in the Silence (2009) | Documentary / Indie Film [720p Blu-ray]

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