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Bigfoot Cinderrrrrella, by Tony Johnston, is a funny kid's book read aloud for preschool, kindergarten, and elementary school ages (and adults still young at heart), as a take on the classic Cinderella story.

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Transcript
00:30illustrated by James Warhola.
00:34Once upon a time, in the old growth forest, a band of Bigfoots lived.
00:40An enormous snag towered above the other trees close to their camp.
00:45Inside its hollow halls of bark lived a dashing Bigfoot prince.
00:50He was tall and dark as a Douglas fir, with feet like cedar stumps.
00:55He was as odoriferous as his tree home was coniferous.
00:59And so horrendously hairy that Bigfoot women far and near longed to marry him.
01:08Whenever they saw him lurching along, they blocked his path like deadfalls.
01:12They draped flowers around themselves.
01:15They batted their matted eyelashes to stun him into love.
01:19But the prince loved nature best.
01:22No, pick flowers, he bellowed at them in a voice as rough as bark.
01:30In this place, there lived a Bigfoot woman and her three daughters.
01:34Well, really only two were hers.
01:36The third was a stepchild.
01:38The daughters were puny things with dinky feet, almost furless as Bigfoots go,
01:44and as sour as little green berries.
01:47They spent their days bathing and picking their teeth with fish bones
01:50and sleeking their fur with pine cones.
01:53For fun, they threw rocks at spotted owls.
01:57That stepdaughter was just the opposite.
02:00Nearly as woolly as a mammoth, golden as a banana slug, with feet like log canoes.
02:07She loved nature and would harm no creature.
02:10Her stepsisters despised her, and they made her work.
02:15Although her name was Ella, they roared at her so much that everyone called her Rella.
02:21Rella, fix fire.
02:23Rella, catch fish.
02:26They forced her to comb her fur and stick flowers in it.
02:31If she tugged them out, they put back twice as many.
02:35In spite of this primping, Rella was sooty for a while.
02:39Rella was sooty from the fire and stinking with fish.
02:43So they teased her like stinging mosquitoes.
02:46You beast!
02:47They laughed and held their noses.
02:49You positive freak!
02:51You absolute freak!
02:54Then they bathed her a lot in the creek.
02:57Eek!
03:00One morning, Rella went to the river to get supper.
03:04She fished all day and tossed her catch onto the bank in a silvery pile.
03:09Suddenly, a grizzly bear appeared.
03:12He seemed hungry.
03:13Rella was bigger than the bear, so she could have shooed him away.
03:17But she was too kind.
03:19She let him have the fish.
03:21When she shambled home empty-handed, her stepsisters rubbed their bellies and bellowed,
03:26Food!
03:27Food!
03:28Food!
03:28They forced her to fish all night.
03:34Now, every year, the Bigfoot Prince gave a great fun fest.
03:38There were gifts and food and games, like jump the fire,
03:43and bear cave hide-and-seek, and hurl the hemlock.
03:47But log-rolling was the favorite.
03:49This year, whichever woman rolled the prince off the log and into the river
03:54would become his wife.
03:56Rella's puny sisters hoped to dunk the prince.
04:00When me snag putrid furball prince, me roll whole tree place,
04:05yelled the older one.
04:07Me pick all flower, the younger one grinned.
04:12Then they bellowed together, Power!
04:15Power!
04:15Power!
04:17So they smoothed their pitiful fur.
04:20Then spruced up with wildflowers and wearing fine bark clogs to grip the log,
04:25they clomped to the festival.
04:28Me go too, Rella hollered after them.
04:31She adored to sweat and win at games.
04:34Her sisters hooted so hard, they fell down.
04:37You stay.
04:39Catch plenty fish.
04:40We catch prince.
04:45How Rella longed to go.
04:48Sadly, she stared at the river.
04:50She saw a fish jump.
04:52She made a wish on the fish.
04:54Me wish go fun fest.
04:56Me wish dunk prince.
04:59Heartfelt wish is true wish, growled a gruff voice.
05:04So you go.
05:08Rella spun around.
05:10She was staring at a bear, the very one she had given fish.
05:15Who you?
05:16She asked.
05:17Me your very godfather.
05:20Rella was overjoyed, then underjoyed.
05:23She mumbled.
05:25Me got no bark clogs to keep on log, feet's too big.
05:30No big bug brain, snorted her godfather.
05:33He swiped the air with a paw and instantly an enormous pair of clogs appeared.
05:39Rella tried them on.
05:40They fit perfectly.
05:42Then the grizzly waved a paw over her and poof, the wild flowers she wore were dust.
05:49He patted and matted her fur and it tangled like the very forest floor.
05:56She boomed.
05:58Thanks.
05:59And gave him a crushing hug.
06:02Be back sundown, he warned.
06:04Or you'll be like sisters make you.
06:07No furry and smelly, but plenty flowery.
06:12Rella wasn't worried.
06:13She had lots of time.
06:15She skipped off, shaking the whole forest as she went.
06:22At the fun fest, there were bigfoot women from every clan.
06:26The games had begun.
06:28One by one, the women leaped onto a log where the prince crouched ready.
06:33One by one, he dumped them into the water.
06:36Rella's stepsisters hated games.
06:39But to catch the prince, they'd do anything, even give logs a twirl.
06:44And they hoped a good drenching might even wash off his stench.
06:48But they never got the chance.
06:50When their turn came, the prince saw their wild flower chains and glowered.
06:55He tossed them into the water, snarling, no pick flowers.
07:02The day grew late.
07:04Everyone had tried to win.
07:06Everyone had failed.
07:08The bigfoot prince rumbled, rats, no bride.
07:14He was about to slouch home when, thunk, Rella bounded onto the log,
07:20pounding her chest and whooping, me dunk prince.
07:25Grunting with all her might, she spun the log like a big twig.
07:33Then she gave it a twist and, floop, the prince flopped into the river.
07:42There was a stunned silence.
07:44The bigfoots were slow-witted, so it took them a while to figure out what had happened.
07:49When at last they began to chant, bride, bride, bride,
07:54the sun was setting.
07:56Rella saw that and rushed into the dense trees, shrieking,
08:00eek, just as her matted fur went sleek and wild flowers began to sprout.
08:08The prince lurched from the water, dripping and crushed.
08:12His dream woman, shaggy as a forest floor, smelly as a fish, and strong, was gone.
08:19Scratching his craggy head, he slumped down on a boulder.
08:24Drat, drat, drat, he gnashed his mossy teeth.
08:29Where my stinking beauty go?
08:33Then he saw one big bark clog, hers.
08:37Now perhaps he could find his princess.
08:40The prince shuffled from snag to snag, cave to cave, lugging the lost clog.
08:46But though all the bigfoot women tried it on, it was too large for anyone.
08:55The moment he reached Rella's cave, her stepmother and stepsisters pounced on the prince,
09:01rustled the clog from him, and jumped into the river.
09:04Her stepmother and stepsisters pounced on the prince,
09:08rustled the clog from him, and jumped into it eagerly.
09:12Their feet were so small, they all fit at once.
09:19Then Rella bounded up, yelling, me try, me try, me, me, me.
09:27She did, and her foot fit the clog like a seed in a pod.
09:32When she pulled out its mate, the bigfoot prince knew he'd found his bride.
09:36He thumped his chest and roared with joy.
09:39The stepsisters roared, too.
09:42In tantrums, they yanked up some wildflowers and saplings.
09:46Their mother kicked the prince black and blue.
09:51But soon there was a rowdy wedding in the old-growth forest.
09:55Everyone was invited.
09:57Even Rella's stepmother and stepsisters could come.
10:00If they followed these rules carefully.
10:03No pick flower, no pull tree, and no kick royal family.
10:17If you enjoyed this story, please give it a thumbs up so more little kiddos can see it.
10:21And don't forget to subscribe.
10:23Till next time.

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