VIRAL TikTok star, Ren, was born without elbows or hands - but that hasn't held her back at all. The 28-year-old spent her childhood developing her own ways of performing everyday tasks in order to be independent. She affectionately refers to her arms as "nubs" and told truly: "Most things I can do - just in my own way, a little more difficult than others." The resilience Ren has built up through her ability to adapt was critical as Ren entered adult life - the one area of her life she found particularly difficult to navigate was dating: "I had boy[friends] that would refuse to hold my hand because they didn't want to be embarrassed." But just as she was giving up, Ren matched with current boyfriend Timmy on a dating app and his open-minded approach meant the two fell for each other in no time. As Timmy told truly: "I like to just go into things with an open mind and it's been great!" Timmy now supports Ren through everything, including helping her record TikToks to raise awareness for her condition - mostly lighthearted videos "making fun" of her condition. Whilst Ren has had to deal with negative, "icky" comments and questions in the comments section - as well as staring in public - this no longer phases her at all and she is more determined than ever to shift opinions about what it means to live with a disability. Her hope is that people take away from her story that "people with disabilities are more capable than they expect - we find our ways eventually, it takes time but we find our ways!"
Follow Ren:
https://www.tiktok.com/@2fingered_t_rex
https://www.instagram.com/nubbeez_
Videographer: Ed Koziarski
Producers: Kim Nguyen, Tom Buckman & Mel Jefcoate
Editor: Emma Mitchell
Follow Ren:
https://www.tiktok.com/@2fingered_t_rex
https://www.instagram.com/nubbeez_
Videographer: Ed Koziarski
Producers: Kim Nguyen, Tom Buckman & Mel Jefcoate
Editor: Emma Mitchell
Category
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NewsTranscript
00:00I was born without hands and elbows and I was still able to find love.
00:07There's things I can and can't do.
00:09Most things I can do, just in my own way, just a little more difficult than others.
00:14Dating was difficult in the past.
00:16I had boys that would refuse to hold my hand because they didn't want to be embarrassed.
00:21Timmy is extremely different from the past relationships.
00:24I was definitely nervous that he was going to be questionable about how the relationship was going to go.
00:30Or just be nervous to be seen in public with me.
00:32I like to just go into things with an open mind and it's been working itself out.
00:37I think this is the first time I've ever actually felt love from someone.
00:40I think I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
00:44I actually had to teach myself how to do everything.
00:46Everyone in my life was born with hands.
00:49So I had to teach myself how to get up, eat with silverware, or get dressed and all that other stuff.
00:56My hair, like brushing the back of it is hard to reach sometimes.
01:00I was born without hands and elbows.
01:04I was never diagnosed. I have never seen an x-ray of my arms.
01:09But through the years of doing my own research, we've come to a close possibility that it could be some form of amelia disorder.
01:17I call them nubs. I've been calling them nubs since I was little.
01:20Or nubbies. My TikTok name is nubbies.
01:24That's just what people know me as.
01:26Why was it important to you to be able to do things independently?
01:30Mainly because I don't really have family in my life as I was growing up.
01:36I was adopted when I was 11 years old.
01:39My adoptive mom, she would make sure I would learn how to do something, even if it was really irritating me.
01:46She'd be like, no, keep going. You have to do it until you get it.
01:48I really hated it, but now I am super grateful for it because I do everything, most everything by myself.
01:56Obviously, I'm going to need help with some things, which I'm so grateful for my boyfriend for that.
02:02He has to help me with a lot of things and sometimes I feel bad, but I still am pretty independent.
02:10And not a single shell.
02:14Usually I have Timmy helping me with this stuff, like the messy stuff.
02:19I'm okay with having no arms, but it's kind of annoying sometimes.
02:24I think as being little, I was more chill with it.
02:27But then there was phases where I was like, man, I really hate having no hands. This sucks.
02:31Dating was difficult in the past. Boys, they didn't want to be embarrassed.
02:35My first relationship, I didn't want to hold my hand.
02:39And they said it like straight up to me, like, it's just weird. I don't know how I'm going to hold your hand.
02:43It would have been nice if we could have found a way.
02:45And then my second relationship cheated on me. My third wasn't there on an emotional level.
02:50I don't know if I'm doing this right. Should I flip it?
02:52You can flip it if you want.
02:54I just got fed up. And then I met Timmy.
02:59Oh no.
03:01We met on Bumble. We chatted for a couple weeks.
03:06And Timmy asked me on a date.
03:09I was definitely nervous that he was going to be questionable about how the relationship was going to go.
03:15Or just be nervous to be seen in public with me.
03:17I like to just go into things with an open mind.
03:19I'll try anything once. I'll just jump in and see how things work.
03:23And it's been working itself out. So it's been great.
03:27We've been living together for, like, a year.
03:29And I think this is the first time I've ever actually felt love from someone.
03:33I don't know. I think I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
03:36If it falls, then I lose. I mean, I don't know. We'll see how many we can do.
03:40Everyone was talking about how cringey TikTok was.
03:42And the only reason I joined was to watch the cringe videos.
03:45And then I was like, well, I have this funny video of me putting my arm in a hot dog bun and putting ketchup on it.
03:52So let's post that real quick.
03:58I got, like, 300,000 likes within a couple days.
04:03So we just kept posting. And I did a lot of videos of me kind of just making fun of my disability.
04:08But kind of like a heartwarming way.
04:10But I'll also post things about awareness towards it.
04:13Like, I'll talk about discrimination and stuff on there.
04:15I get so many good compliments.
04:17Like, people are always complimenting my outfit.
04:19I do a lot of little dancing videos.
04:21And people are always hyped about my dancing.
04:24And then, obviously, those comments that are very, like, icky.
04:27Like, sometimes they'll ask me, like, how do you use the bathroom and wipe?
04:31And how do you take a shower?
04:33Like, I never have this in public ever.
04:35No one ever just comes to me and says, like, how do you wipe yourself?
04:38Nobody says that to my face.
04:40It's always behind a screen.
04:41Because people are like, oh, I can say whatever I want.
04:43They'll never find me.
04:44But you're just hurting my feelings.
04:46And you're making me uncomfortable.
04:47Oh, green screen. That's a funny one.
04:50Sometimes people think I'm just AI'd or green screened.
04:52I mean, I guess AI could do it.
04:53But these aren't AI. These aren't.
04:55I'm very much born with no hands.
04:57Most of the time, people are really nice.
04:59Mostly positive.
05:00I've had people come to me and tell me, like,
05:02you've helped me, like, stay alive or other stuff like that.
05:05And it's super heartwarming.
05:06I'm just, like, I can't fathom that I, like, you know, did that much for someone.
05:12Hello.
05:13Hi. How are you?
05:14Good. How are you?
05:15Good. I'm good. Good to see you.
05:17My little brother, Brody, we were adopted by the same parents.
05:21Brody, he has autism.
05:22And so there was kids that would push him into lockers.
05:25He had a stuttering issue.
05:26And, like, if I was with him in that school, I'd be there to help him.
05:32Well, growing up with Ren, as kids, we fought a little bit.
05:36But she was that one person that was always there by my side.
05:39We've been through everything together.
05:41But what about, like, me as having no hands?
05:44How was it watching me learn how to do things?
05:46I was actually, as a kid, I was always jealous.
05:49Because you always, like, good drawer.
05:52Like, through, like, painting, you're always better at drawing and painting.
05:57And you know how to tie your shoes first.
05:59I was almost trying to learn things before you.
06:03That's kind of funny.
06:06People in public, they tend to stare at me.
06:09Most of the time, they don't mean any harm.
06:12So, like, whenever I don't say anything, like, if I catch them staring, I just, like, look away.
06:17Usually when I go out in public, I wear sleeves.
06:19Like, I cover up my arms, or I wear a cardigan to cover up my arms.
06:23I, like, went out in public the other day without a cardigan for the first time in years.
06:29I was actually able to ignore people staring at me.
06:31So that was very nice.
06:33But I think it helped because I just got this tattoo.
06:36And I want to show it off.
06:37I wanted an arm band of all different hand emojis.
06:41So I could be like, yeah, thumbs up.
06:43Or, yeah, no, thumbs down.
06:44Or the Italian one right there.
06:47Yeah.
06:50Mianda!
06:51How are you?
06:53I remember, like, younger, people would look.
06:56It would, like, stress you out.
06:58And you just, you would almost feel like a person.
07:01But as the years have gone on, you've, like, not really cared so much as what people were thinking.
07:07You're like, this is me.
07:08This is who I am.
07:10I mean, I have only known you a little over a year.
07:15But, I mean, I feel like you embody confidence.
07:19I don't know why anybody wouldn't want to just come over and start talking to you.
07:22Because you're genuinely an interesting person.
07:25That's so sweet. Thank you.
07:27Hey. It's been a while.
07:31I'm just a person.
07:33Like, I have hobbies.
07:34I can do everything like everyone else.
07:37Just because I'm disabled doesn't mean I'm from a different planet.
07:39I have, like, the same thoughts as everyone else.
07:41And I do the same things as everyone.
07:43And I also have probably the same goals as a lot of people.
07:46I would really like to be an actress.
07:48Like, I think that would be really cool.
07:54We'll see how it goes.
07:55I just kind of let life flow.
07:56I hope that people understand that people with disabilities are more capable than they expect.
08:02We find our ways.
08:03Like, eventually.
08:04It takes time, but we find our ways.
08:09We'll see how it goes.
08:10Bye.