Annie Walker is away so Lucille is been a Mother Hen.Checking Jack Walker is looking after himself.Ken Barlow is getting friendly with an older Woman,what would wife Val think?.
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00:00♪♪
00:29She'll never wear that.
00:55Wear what?
00:56Auntie Annie, when she gets back, she'll never have that up there.
00:58Eh, they send out some rubbish these days, don't they, eh?
01:03Right.
01:04Two eggs or three?
01:05One.
01:06I'll have me breakfast.
01:07I was just looking to see if there were any eggs or any cooked either.
01:09She'll know how many eggs she'll have when she gets back, you know.
01:11She counts them in the fridge.
01:13I thought you and me were pals.
01:14Oh, we are, Auntie Annie.
01:15I promised Auntie Annie, didn't I?
01:16I said I'd look after you while she was away.
01:18She's gone to her journey's.
01:20She'll have a lot more to play me with when she gets back than how many eggs is left.
01:24Two eggs or three?
01:27What else have you made?
01:28Bacon, sausage, fried bread, marmalade, toast.
01:29In that case, none.
01:30Oh, Uncle Jack, you have to behave.
01:31I think I'm behaving like a little gem.
01:32What else is on the standing orders today that I haven't done?
01:33The Ten Commandments, you mean?
01:34Now, then.
01:35Ah, it's only a joke.
01:36Let's see.
01:37One.
01:38See Uncle Jack eats proper meals and tolerates no summit conferences with him.
01:39Two.
01:40See he takes his tablets twice a day and hot chocolate before he goes to bed.
01:41Three.
01:42Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:43Four.
01:44Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:45Five.
01:46Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:47Six.
01:48Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:49Seven.
01:50Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:51Eight.
01:52Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:53Nine.
01:54Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:55Ten.
01:56Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:57Eleven.
01:58Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
01:59Twelve.
02:00Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:01Thirteen.
02:02Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:03Fourteen.
02:04Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:05Fifteen.
02:06Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:07Sixteen.
02:08Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:09Sixteen.
02:10Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:11Fifteen.
02:12Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:13Sixteen.
02:14Clean up his mess before he goes to bed.
02:15Sixteen.
02:17What's the matter with you?
02:18What's the matter with you?
02:19What's the matter with you?
02:20What's the matter with you?
02:21What's the matter with you?
02:22What's the matter with you?
02:23What's the matter with you?
02:24What's the matter with you?
02:25What's the matter with you?
02:26What's the matter with you?
02:27What's the matter with you?
02:28What's the matter with you?
02:29What's the matter with you?
02:30What's the matter with you?
02:31What's the matter with you?
02:32What's the matter with you?
02:33What's the matter with you?
02:34What's the matter with you?
02:35What's the matter with you?
02:36What's the matter with you?
02:37What's the matter with you?
02:38What's the matter with you?
02:39What's the matter with you?
02:40What's the matter with you?
02:42What's the matter with you?
02:43What's the matter with you?
02:44What's the matter with you?
02:45What's the matter with you?
02:46What's the matter with you?
02:47What's the matter with you?
02:48What's the matter with you?
02:49What's the matter with you?
02:50What's the matter with you?
02:51What's the matter with you?
02:52What's the matter with you?
02:53What's the matter with you?
02:54What's the matter with you?
02:55What's the matter with you?
02:56What's the matter with you?
02:57What's the matter with you?
02:58What's the matter with you?
02:59What's the matter with you?
03:00What's the matter with you?
03:01What's the matter with you?
03:02What's the matter with you?
03:03What's the matter with you?
03:04What's the matter with you?
03:05What's the matter with you?
03:07Yeah, but it's the holiday page.
03:09I was going to write off one of the brochures this evening.
03:11Oh, honestly.
03:12Mm, said so at David's yesterday.
03:13Oh, yes, I know.
03:15Again and again and again.
03:16Eh?
03:17Well, poor Herm are taking it all in.
03:19And?
03:20Well, they won't be taking a holiday, will they?
03:23I kept kicking them.
03:24Oh, yeah.
03:25A bit dim, aren't they?
03:26Oh, just a bit.
03:27Ah, but lovely with it.
03:29Oh, very lovely with it.
03:31Hey, that's another thing.
03:33Hm, what's that?
03:34Peter and David having private and personal confabs.
03:37When?
03:38Yesterday in their digs.
03:39What were you both chittering about?
03:41Ah, oh, listen to that.
03:43What and what?
03:44Can I see my briefcase, sir?
03:45Oh, sorry.
03:46Peter kept chewing it.
03:48Ah, and by the way, I won't be home for lunch.
03:50It's Monday.
03:51You've got a free period.
03:52I know, love, but I've got a union meeting,
03:53so I'll see you tonight, eh?
03:54Ah.
03:55Hey.
03:56Yes, Fred?
03:57Now, it wouldn't be what they call
03:58an association of ideas, would it?
03:59Eh, what's that?
04:00Peter chewing a leather briefcase
04:03See you tonight, then.
04:04Bye.
04:05Bye.
04:06Hey, you still haven't told me
04:07what you and David were talking about.
04:09Oh, he's gone.
04:11Oh.
04:12Do you want a cup of tea?
04:14No, no, no, I haven't got time.
04:16Oh?
04:17No, it's action stations.
04:18I'm pulling me foot down.
04:19Oh, yeah?
04:20Yeah, they blew me new ligaments from Canal Street.
04:23Playing football every Sunday on our allotments.
04:25Oh, heavens, they're only kids.
04:28Yeah, no, but they've got to be brought up right,
04:30don't they?
04:31I mean, we pay good money for them allotments.
04:33Well, what actions are you going to take?
04:35Well, I'm going along to see Ernie Mills
04:37and one or two other lads.
04:39You know, he's had a window put through
04:40one of these greenhouses, hasn't he?
04:42Oh, that's not fair.
04:43Well, that's what I'm telling you.
04:45So we might get some placards up,
04:47happen to get a bobby or two or something.
04:49Anyhow, ta-da.
04:50Don't you want a cup of tea?
04:51No, I told you, I haven't got time.
04:52What did your brother come again for?
04:54Well, just to tell you all about it.
04:56Oh, thank you very much.
04:57I'm very grateful.
04:58Yeah, well, I reckon you'd like to be kept informed.
05:00Shut up.
05:03Fancy a bowl of ergue?
05:05Bowl of who?
05:06Porridge.
05:07Mr Sharples' word for it.
05:08Oh, no thanks, I've had.
05:10Lag your pipes with this
05:11and you can keep your central eating.
05:13Yeah, well, I'd best go and get another day done.
05:15And thank you for the socks.
05:17Oh, it's a pleasure.
05:18You can give over turning your nose up.
05:20It's when I walk into the rovers
05:22with my football boots on you can start.
05:24I don't mind what you wear.
05:26Anyway, it only took them off while they dripped.
05:27It's not ladylike to sit with your feet
05:28in the puddle all night.
05:30Am I apologising to you for any road?
05:32Shame.
05:33Don't any of that at our age.
05:35It's like chutney and fancy men.
05:37You lose your appetite for it.
05:40You sure you're warm enough?
05:42Yeah, in certain times.
05:43Another inch off that skirt
05:44and it'll do for a blouse.
05:46Yeah, well, it's the fashion.
05:47Any road you were as bad in your chas
05:49and there's all knobbly knees and no bust.
05:52You'll get a bowl of ergue on your head in a minute.
05:54And that's new, isn't it?
05:56Yeah, and these.
05:57Come, it's where you get the brass from that beats me.
06:00I work for it.
06:02Oh, aye.
06:03I tried that 50 years of it.
06:05Weaving, winding, munitioning and scrubbing floors.
06:07Here, stir that.
06:09Go on, get it stirred.
06:12See this?
06:14Over 60's jumble sale, half a crown
06:16and it doesn't know where it come from.
06:18Yeah, well, it's like you said, isn't it?
06:19As you get older, you haven't got the incentives.
06:21No, and not the brass neither.
06:23It's only me.
06:25It's only me.
06:27It's a good job the tally man has.
06:32Oh, hello, Ernie lad.
06:33Are you busy?
06:35No, not until the pub's open.
06:37Get rid of some of these dog ends before Mr. Smith gets in.
06:40Look, I've been round to see Edgar Platt
06:42and he's all for having a new fence put all the way round.
06:45No, they come too expensive, Albert.
06:47Yeah, I know, that's what I told him.
06:49But they won't take any notice of Platt Yards, will they?
06:51I mean, willful damage and all that.
06:53They will if they get my boot behind them, I'll tell you.
06:55Oh, good morning, Mr. Smith.
06:57Ernie.
06:58Oh, hello.
06:59Mr. Tatlock, isn't it?
07:00It is.
07:01Come to take some of my hard-earned money off me?
07:03Ha-ha, that'll be the day.
07:05Hey, are you one of them fellows
07:07that wouldn't pay out on that forecast at Dagenham last year?
07:10Ha-ha-ha.
07:11So, how's Coronation Street these days, then?
07:13Still there, is it?
07:14Well, I'll go along.
07:15I'll see one of the two lads, Ernie, and I'll be back.
07:17Hey, how's me mate Elsie Tanner?
07:19Still fighting fit?
07:21Oh, right.
07:22So is your other mate, Len Firclough.
07:24So long, Ernie.
07:28How are yours?
07:30Ah, well, you know, he's got the next allotment of mine, you know.
07:34Oh, how's it going with those Wellington Street premises, Mr. Smith?
07:37Ah, too late. Some fellow's bored. He's going to open a chemist shop or something.
07:40Ah, there'll be others?
07:41Yep.
07:42Aye.
07:43Hey, ha-ha, you never know.
07:45If you do open another branch, you might get to be your manager yet.
07:48Yeah, very true.
07:49Have you washed that window yet?
07:51No, I was going to do that next.
07:53Good lad.
07:56Oh, Mr. Smith.
07:57Yep.
07:58What about old Albert?
07:59What about him?
08:00Where old Albert lives. Coronation Street, Vyderk Street, all round that area.
08:04Why, any premises going, are there?
08:06Oh, that I don't know.
08:08Room for a betting shop there, I would have thought, though.
08:10Heard he liked that.
08:11Yeah, that's a possibility, innit?
08:13Yeah, wait a minute. Now, there's a shop on the corner there.
08:16Florey... Florey something, anyway. She might play.
08:19Yeah, it's a thought.
08:20Might be worth an inquiry.
08:22Yeah.
08:23Er, andy for business round that end.
08:26Yeah, not only business, either, eh?
08:33Me again?
08:34Oh, no.
08:35That I'm lucky I am.
08:36Oh, are you being personal?
08:38Oh, not you, Mrs. Barlow. No names, no pectoral.
08:41Ah, describe them, then.
08:42Eh? Oh, there's not so many from around here, but there's one or two off Mauderley Street.
08:46Aye, walking about with their bellies full of roast turkey and plum pudding out of my pocket.
08:51Well, how can I get you?
08:53Well, I'm sorry to keep bobbing in and out, but I forgot me Maggie Anne.
08:56Ah, margarine for the spreading of?
08:58For the cooking of, actually.
08:59Half a pound?
09:00Yes, thanks.
09:03There you are.
09:04Cash on delivery, and it's not pinched or anything.
09:06Oh, I thank you.
09:08Well, is there anything else, Mrs. Barlow?
09:10Oh, no, thanks. That's it.
09:11Oh, no, it's not.
09:13Corned beef, Uncle Albert.
09:14Corned beef.
09:15Morning.
09:16Morning, Mrs. Biddy.
09:17Oh, strikes right through to your bones this weather, don't it?
09:20And that's with three woollen jumpers on.
09:22Still soon be summer, that's what you have to tell yourself.
09:25Not that you can tell my back. Oh, it's no fool is my back.
09:28Better than all your Fahrenheits and Centigrades.
09:31Er, what was it, Mrs. Barlow?
09:33Er, corned beef, Uncle Albert.
09:34Right.
09:35Not corned beef. Not this weather.
09:37Pardon?
09:38Not corned beef.
09:39Well, it's Uncle Albert.
09:40Well, I know. So you say.
09:41He likes corned beef sandwiches for his tea.
09:44No.
09:45Summertime.
09:46He'll have baked beans with toast, you see.
09:49Not altogether.
09:50Well, which is it to be, ladies?
09:52Corned beef or baked beans?
09:54Here you are. Ask him. He's over 21.
09:56Do you want corned beef for your tea?
09:58He, he, chump, you doll.
09:59I think baked beans.
10:01Eh?
10:02For your calories.
10:04Oh.
10:05All right.
10:06Baked beans, then.
10:08Well, which do you prefer?
10:09Eh?
10:11So long.
10:12Be good.
10:15You have to look after their bellies.
10:17You'll learn that as you get older.
10:19And I'll take a bar of marzipan, please.
10:21All right, sure.
10:22Here we are, Mrs. Misery.
10:23One bar of marzipan coming up in six minutes.
10:25That's right.
10:26Well, thank you.
10:27See you later.
10:29Mrs. Misery.
10:32Oh, that's nice.
10:35Have you painted that yourself?
10:37Well, good morning.
10:39Another tanner up the spout.
10:41Well, I hope she pays you for a Valentine card next month.
10:44Do you think she's going to buy one, do you?
10:46Oh, I'm certain. I think Uncle Albert is, too.
10:48Hey, I've got something for you while I think of it.
10:50Oh?
10:51Sandra left it at it since she was a kiddie.
10:53Finally decided since she'd grown out of it.
10:55Here you are.
10:56Oh.
10:57For your kiddies.
10:58Thanks very much.
10:59They'll eat anything these days.
11:00Eh?
11:01Oh, it's just like the one I used to have.
11:02Well, no point in going to waste.
11:04Well, anything else while you're in, Mrs. Barlow?
11:06Or what about something for your obese supper?
11:08Oh.
11:09Eh? For saving us some back.
11:10Oh, no, I've got a holiday today.
11:11It's on school dinners.
11:12Oh, I wouldn't mind saying, if I had the choice,
11:14I'd rather have a dinner off you and one out of a big bin.
11:16I'd have thought you'd have had lots of dinners
11:18out of big bins in the army.
11:20Oh, I did that.
11:21Yes, didn't do them in the arm either.
11:22I used to supplement it, of course.
11:24Used to nip over the naffy for one or two chocolate eclairs
11:26and the odd coconut slice.
11:28Oh, he's not on the eclair bit today.
11:31Peacock sponge and some rotten onion meeting.
11:34Oh.
11:36Fantastic, some of the by-products
11:38they make from a bit of coal these days, isn't it?
11:40Shut up and eat it. You're not paying for it.
11:42What do you want from life?
11:44Who's complaining?
11:45You know, I can remember this place
11:47when all they used to sell was sausages
11:48you could sole and heel your shoes in.
11:50Have you ever thought...
11:51You're not going to talk to me, are you?
11:53Well, not what you want to talk about, no.
11:55Come on, Ken, don't give me a hard time.
11:58Look, you must remember when David first kicked a tin can
12:02round the back field.
12:03I'm only trying to make a few honest bucks.
12:05Miss Marsh.
12:06Don't be like that.
12:07Miss Marsh, I told you when you picked me up on Friday.
12:10I'm not prepared to let you ghostwrite an article
12:12entitled I was David Barlow's brother
12:14by Kenneth Barlow, as told to Jackie Marsh,
12:17the backstage heartbreaker of the young boy
12:19with magic in his football boots.
12:20You fancy your chances a bit at this game, don't you?
12:23A bit of a word, Smith.
12:24You've sat there, shoveling steak and chips down you
12:27on my expense account.
12:29I only want a bit of background, I've been saying.
12:32A bit of background combines on David, honest.
12:35Look, when he first got his first pair of little shorts...
12:38No, love, I spoke to David at the weekend about it.
12:40He doesn't want another word written about him.
12:42Oh, there's words in words.
12:43You don't know the sort of words I do.
12:45No, true, but it'd be all heart, wouldn't it?
12:48Heart? What do you mean, heart?
12:49You know, the big throbbing prose,
12:50like Irma, the woman that weeps.
12:52The woman who nothing.
12:56And so she bluffed.
12:58Jackie, I'm sorry.
12:59Never say sorry.
13:00What?
13:01There's no such word.
13:02Well, nothing happened to be sorry about.
13:04No point in saying sorry, even when things do happen.
13:07What kind of prose is that?
13:09I write better.
13:10Yes, I'm sure you do.
13:11Anyway, love, I've given you the full text
13:12of the Barlow family statement on the accident.
13:15You're a villain, aren't you?
13:17I don't know why my mother ever put me into journalism.
13:19She warned me about people like you.
13:21Oh, come off it.
13:22A young Anne Scott James like you,
13:23surely can spin a couple of articles out of something else.
13:25Oh, sure, like what?
13:27I've got an art exhibition to see this afternoon,
13:30and then there's some old fellow down by the canal bank
13:32sitting tight in his house while it falls down round him.
13:35Oh, a headcase?
13:36No, subsidence.
13:38He won't leave it.
13:39He says he can't get to sleep unless he's near water.
13:42He's 88, God help him.
13:44And what's on at the gallery?
13:46Oh, some pop art, do.
13:48Some David Hockneys and things, you know.
13:50Why?
13:51Well, it's just that I haven't got a lesson until three.
13:53Oh, it should be a bit of a pain.
13:55You're not artistic, then?
13:57Well, I ask you, modern art.
13:59Pop art.
14:00All this love for Edwardian cigarette machines
14:04and chocolate signs.
14:06Oh, no, it's wet.
14:08It's like the Pre-Raphaelites,
14:10running back to a golden age because they can't stand this one.
14:13You're not just pretty faces on that paper, are you?
14:16Oh, no.
14:17There's a photographer there.
14:18He's got the best pair of ankles I've ever seen on a man.
14:21You coming, then?
14:22Well, you can't ask about football in an art gallery.
14:25We can whisper, can't we?
14:56A packet of biscuits.
14:58Right.
14:59Fresh prawns.
15:01And tapioca.
15:03Evening.
15:04Evening, sir. Cold again?
15:06Yes.
15:07Are we wondering, could I have a word with Flory Lindley?
15:10Flory Lindley?
15:11Yeah, that's it, yeah.
15:12Well, not unless you happen to be out Canada way, I'm afraid.
15:14Aye.
15:15Oh, she left here last June.
15:17I'm Gaffer here now.
15:18Oh, sorry, I didn't know.
15:20My name's Dave Smith.
15:22Oh, a traveller, are you?
15:24Only to the Costa Brava twice a year.
15:26Costa Brava?
15:27Costa Brava holiday, you know.
15:28Oh, I see, yes.
15:30Licensed bookmaker.
15:31Yes, I've got a place the other end of Rosamond Street, Edward Road.
15:34Well, what can I do for you, Mr Smith?
15:36Well, I don't really know, actually.
15:38I was expecting to see this Flory Watson name, you know.
15:40Lindley?
15:41Yeah, yeah, that's it.
15:42I thought, well, might be a bit of a proposition, lump sum at her time of life.
15:44What?
15:45Well, I was going to make an offer for the shop.
15:47Oh, you haven't heard it's up for sale or out, did you?
15:49No, no, just on spec, you know.
15:51Oh, it's funny, that.
15:52Oh, yeah.
15:53Yeah, well, me daughter left here last December, you see.
15:56Went to live on her own, and she's no mother, you see.
15:58Oh, yeah.
15:59Oh, sorry.
16:00Yeah, it's funny, because it had crossed me mind once or twice, you know,
16:03sitting here in the evenings on me tod.
16:05Well, you think you'd have packaged it in then?
16:06Well, not in so many words, but, you know, it had crossed me mind now and then.
16:09What, do you want to sell?
16:11Well, are you interested in buying a place around here, are you?
16:13Well, I might be interested in buying this place, you know.
16:15Well, like I said, it's just an idea, you know, fresh feels and that.
16:19Yeah.
16:20How much are you asking for it?
16:21I'm not, lad.
16:22Not yet any road.
16:23Oh, well, that's that then, isn't it?
16:24Well, I mean, it's come as a bit of a bolt out of the blue, like.
16:27Mind you, there's no harm in discussing it, is there?
16:29No, no harm at all.
16:30Mr...?
16:31Petty.
16:32Extra-large jewellery.
16:33Oh, yeah.
16:34How do you do?
16:35Oh.
16:36Hello, Mrs. Corwell.
16:37Oh, hello, missus.
16:38How's your partner in crime, then?
16:39Oh, very well, thank you.
16:40Do you mean Nina?
16:41Yeah, that's right.
16:42Old Mother Sharples.
16:43I'll mention I've seen you.
16:44Yeah, I'll bet you will.
16:45Well, what can I do for you, Mrs. Corwell?
16:47Oh, just some firelighters for now, please.
16:49Can't you have a look?
16:50I haven't seen nothing of Mrs. Tanner.
16:52Oh, really?
16:53Here you are, then.
16:54Oh, thank you.
16:55Ah.
16:56Well, if you've got a minute to spare, Mr. Smith, perhaps you'd care to come inside?
16:59And, er, talk business?
17:00Aye, well, there's no harm in talking.
17:03Yeah, right.
17:10Go on, swing your arms.
17:13What am I doing?
17:14Look, you're supposed to be making out you're an Irish navvy swinging a pick, not a ballet dancer.
17:18Well, it's my shoulder blades, you see.
17:20They've been advised to get as much rest as they can.
17:22Right.
17:23Well, running on the spot.
17:24Begin.
17:25One, two, three, four.
17:27Back, and we'll have your blood circulating in places it's never even heard of.
17:30Three, four.
17:31One, two, three, four.
17:32Oh, Ena, I'd just as soon put another pair of socks on and another jumper.
17:35But you said your joints were seizing up.
17:37I thought you wanted to get warm.
17:38Well, yes, within reason, like.
17:40Save you pounds in coal, this will, you know.
17:42Only I have to go steady with my sinews.
17:44It's medical fact, is that?
17:46Raise you.
17:47No, I'll leave you to it.
17:48Oh, well, there's no prizes.
17:51Go on.
17:52Now, here's one that can't stop once she gets started.
17:54Nobody had thinner blood than her.
17:56Go on, tell her.
17:57Ena, there's somewhat going on I thought you ought to be the first to know.
18:01Oh, go on, who's arguing?
18:02I've just seen Dave Smith, that bookie fella.
18:05Have you begun?
18:06He's gone into Mr. Petty's living room.
18:08Oh, yes.
18:09To talk business, he said.
18:11It's a business meeting.
18:12What do you want me to do, go and sit with him and crack on I'm chairman?
18:15Well, it's a room too, isn't it?
18:18I like your coat, I do.
18:20Oh, thank you.
18:21I like a smart coat.
18:22Well, you're dressed, aren't you, with a coat?
18:24Only, I thought if there's somewhat going on, you'd want to get your nose in it.
18:28Not while it's umpteen shades of blue.
18:30Come on, get your coat off.
18:31Clare's got to do some of these bends.
18:36Right, everybody into place.
18:37The queer fella's back.
18:38Hello, love.
18:39Down in a minute, love.
18:40Right.
18:41Hello, Uncle Albert.
18:42Having a sleep, are you?
18:43Yeah, I'd stand more chance than on Liverpool football ground.
18:46Shouting and bawling.
18:48What's for tea?
18:49Warmed up lads.
18:50Lovely.
18:51Well, we're up Queen Mary.
18:53First class passage.
18:54Good for you.
18:55Do you have nice weather?
18:56Yeah, we were just passing Jamaica then.
18:58What went she?
18:59We're up beach, throwing holleries at me and hoola roola in it.
19:02I think that's Hawaii.
19:04Over there, you and me.
19:06Oh, Ken.
19:07Yeah?
19:08When our Valerie comes down, you won't mention out about Clare and Midgley, will you?
19:13Well, why should I?
19:14Well, just don't mention her name, that's all.
19:16That Mrs. Yeo, she keeps making cracks and nudging me.
19:19What for?
19:20Mind, I don't take any notice.
19:22I reckon that can be civil to folk without everybody thinking I'm courting.
19:28Hello, love.
19:29Nice day?
19:30What did you say?
19:31Did you have a nice day?
19:32You never say that.
19:33I thought wives always say that.
19:35Ah, yes, but you don't.
19:36Ah, shows you.
19:37Deep down, I'm just one of those.
19:39Never mind, I won't say it again.
19:41Did you have a nice day?
19:42All right, you win.
19:43Yes, I did.
19:44I had a nice day.
19:45Did the meeting go all right?
19:46Mm-hmm.
19:47The union meeting.
19:50Er, yeah, yeah, well, you know what they're like.
19:52Everybody chunnering all at once.
19:54Hey, I'm here, you know.
19:57Pardon?
19:58Of course, I can always talk to myself.
20:00I would be sure to get an answer.
20:02Oh, I'm sorry, mate.
20:03How are you?
20:04And that's not talking.
20:05That's just humouring.
20:06Oh, is Mrs. Midgley in?
20:08I would have thought she'd have lots to talk to you about.
20:12Hey, would you like me to come in tonight
20:14and keep you a bit of company?
20:15Why, where am I going?
20:16Well, you'll be going off to night school, won't you?
20:18Oh, no, she's packed it in.
20:20What?
20:21Well, you haven't been going more than five minutes.
20:22I know, but it's ever since I set fire to the happy home.
20:25Oh, stop it.
20:26Oh, I got fed up with it.
20:28I want to try something different.
20:29Yeah, well, give him a mid-tea.
20:30It'll be pretty revolutionary.
20:32I was thinking about amateur dramatics, actually.
20:34The way the field operatic.
20:35Well, that's all Gilbert and Sullivan
20:36driving around the Twist.
20:37Oh, Mrs. Sharples was suggesting music.
20:39Then she thought perhaps I could put my soul
20:40to the service of the Lord.
20:42What?
20:43The sandwich board, you mean.
20:44The wages of sin is death.
20:45Well, what?
20:46You could go around my allotment.
20:47I think that she meant learning to play the harmonium
20:50and putting the M sheets out on Sundays.
20:52Yeah, I might at that.
20:53You what?
20:54Learn the harmonium.
20:56We could start a group.
20:57You on the trumpet.
20:58You and Mrs. Midgley sharing a guitar.
21:00You could do with a hobby.
21:02I keep myself occupied.
21:05There we are, then.
21:06I don't see any problem there.
21:07Put a hatch in here, see,
21:08between your living room and the shop.
21:10That's what I'll make my office, you see.
21:12And then your stock room,
21:13turn that into my private office.
21:15Keep the kitchen for a bit of brewing up.
21:17And there we are.
21:19So, there's only one problem, isn't there?
21:22Eh?
21:23Oh, well, like I said, there's nothing definite.
21:25Just weighing up the pros and cons,
21:27you know, as it's termed.
21:30Oh, evening, ladies.
21:32Freezing on the foot, is it?
21:33Don't be, Jumperjime.
21:35I don't think I'm on stout tonight, Mr. Walker.
21:38I think it's hot toddy for the body weather.
21:41Oh, you've got a bit of extra company in there tonight.
21:44Oh?
21:45Oh, Mr. Petty and Len Fairclough's old sparring partner.
21:48Oh.
21:49Oh, it's him that I was just telling Ina about.
21:51He once had his eye blacked by Mr. Fairclough.
21:53But they've got no right to be in the snug.
21:55That's private property, is that?
21:57Oh, no, Mrs. Caldwell.
21:58We don't want you getting in wars.
22:00You can sup in here.
22:01There'll be nobody to disturb you.
22:03We wouldn't have bothered to come out, really,
22:05only I've only got a bit of slack,
22:07and I thought, well, if you've got your heating on...
22:09No, we'll have it in there, Mr. Walker.
22:11Then we can find out what their business is.
22:13There won't be no punch-ups.
22:15If I sell.
22:16Like I say, there's nothing definite or anything of that description.
22:19No.
22:20Well, we'll be in touch then.
22:22Yeah.
22:24Oh, are you going?
22:26Why, you'll see Tanner coming in.
22:27Oh, now, there's no need to be cheeky.
22:29Good evening, Mr. Petty.
22:30Evening, Mrs. Caldwell, Mrs. Midgley.
22:32Well, have you been having a nice chat?
22:35Good night, ladies.
22:37Good night.
22:39Oh, look, my jam jar.
22:40I thought I'd go and shop.
22:41Ah, come with me.
22:42We've had it.
22:43Well, you get full marks for trying.
22:45Oh, well, we'll just have to try and put Mr. Petty tomorrow.
22:47It's the only thing for it.
22:48Well, I don't suppose it'd do much harm
22:50if we didn't find it.
22:52It's not a matter of national importance.
22:54Oh, but it's for Ina.
22:55She expects it.
22:58Well, I'll go and see how Jack Walker's burying up, shall I?
23:01Hmm, okay.
23:02Or I can stop and watch telly with you.
23:04If you like.
23:05Well, just say the word.
23:07Whichever you want.
23:08Right, well, I'll go and see how Jack Walker's burying up then.
23:10Right.
23:11Oh, if anybody wants me, I won't be a minute.
23:13Right.
23:14Ta-ra.
23:15Ta-ra.
23:23PHONE RINGS
23:35Oh, hello.
23:36Could I speak to Miss Jackie Marsh, please?
23:39Oh, I see.
23:40Do you know any number where I could reach her?
23:43Ah.
23:44No, no, it'll be...
23:45No, no, there's no message.
23:47Thank you.
23:48Goodbye.
23:49Oh, you're ringing.
23:50Um, oh, I was just ringing up a thing of me at college, you know.
23:55Where's your pet?
23:56Hmm?
24:00Never.
24:01Isn't he here?
24:02Oh, they've only just gone.
24:03Him and Lionel Petty.
24:05Oh, well, that Petty owes him a bit of brass like.
24:08Gee, it's funny, that.
24:09I were in Dave Smith's shop only this morning,
24:11talking to Ernie Mills.
24:13Do you know him?
24:14He's had his greenhouse vandalised.
24:15Why, that's a coincidence, isn't it?
24:17Uncle Jack!
24:18Yes, love?
24:20Oh, no, I'm all right, love.
24:21I've got my waistcoat on.
24:23At all times, unless we suddenly have an eat-way.
24:26All right.
24:27Right.
24:28Get back to me ironing now.
24:29No rest for the wicked.
24:30Aren't you going out jazzing tonight?
24:32I've not done the bed yet,
24:33and I'm making you a jam pie for your supper.
24:35Hey, now, love.
24:36Give me a break.
24:37And give yourself one.
24:38Not time.
24:39Not when you've a fellow to look after.
24:42Yoo-hoo!
24:44Oh, but somebody's waving to you.
24:46All right.
24:47How do you do, then?
24:49I reckon she means you.
24:51There's room for a little one over here, Mr. Taplock.
24:53I told you.
24:55Have you ever been on Queen Mary, Jack?
24:57You what?
24:58Queen Mary.
24:59It's a ship like.
25:00Oh, no, it is.
25:01Are you going in there or not?
25:03Well, no, no.
25:04I told our Ken and Valerie I wouldn't be above a minute,
25:07and they want somebody to talk to them,
25:09so ta-da.
25:11That's right.
25:12Get your circulation going.
25:14Good evening.
25:15Glad you think so.
25:16It's shyness, I think.
25:17With you being here.
25:19Oh, I thought you wouldn't go out in the cold
25:21for either me nor King Dickie.
25:23I'm psychic, you see.
25:24I thought I heard Clara say it was her turn to nip in.
25:27You've missed them.
25:28They've been in.
25:29Who?
25:30Dave Smith and Mr. Petty.
25:31Oh, aye.
25:32I saw them.
25:33I saw them driving away in this car,
25:34making about ten times as much clatter as a normal person,
25:36needless to say.
25:37We still don't know what they're up to.
25:39We're not psychic, you see.
25:41We can't see in future.
25:43You can't see two inches in front of your nose.
25:45Who can't?
25:47What's that?
25:48A cigarette packet.
25:49That?
25:50It's a picture.
25:51It's Sodom and Gomorrah.
25:53Oh, here.
25:54Who did you say had been in here?
25:55Dave Smith and Mr. Petty.
25:56Yes, and Beelzebub breathing fire and sulfur down their necks.
26:00Who?
26:01Old Nick.
26:02That's Petty's shop.
26:04Oh, yes.
26:06Well?
26:07What?
26:08Well, he's either flogging it to Dave Smith for a bet in office
26:11or he's going to open one himself.
26:13Do you think so?
26:15He thinks so.
26:16I know he's not.
26:17How?
26:18I'm going to nobble him.
26:19I'm having no den of vice opposite my vestry.
26:21And if you want to take bets,
26:23you can put me down odds-on favorite.
26:46Oh.
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