• 4 months ago
the ghosts of motley hall - season 1 episode 6

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
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01:30not only are we earthbound you're confined to barracks as well.
01:35not fair really. no it's not.
01:38oh this bucket's beginning to leak.
01:40boy needs a good dressing down.
01:42if Gudgeon doesn't come soon the ceiling's gonna collapse.
01:45he's due any day. overdue.
01:47well perhaps the storm will hurry him up.
01:49could do. fearfully conscientious little chap.
01:51he missed my leak last time.
01:52well next time bang your bedroom door and it attracts his attention.
01:55we might scare him off altogether. he's grown uncommon nervous.
01:58we all know why don't we?
02:01he'd never seen me before.
02:03once was enough.
02:04let's do all we can to put the fella at his ease.
02:06now can we please get back to me memoirs. where were we?
02:09at the opening of the Suez Canal.
02:10yes yes engineering triumph yes.
02:13mm-hmm
02:18I'm fortunate enough to be aboard...
02:21aboard what?
02:24the Royal yacht Deerhound.
02:28Deerhound?
02:29now remember turning to Brigadier Bunhaven saying...
02:33how do you spell it?
02:36s-a-y-i-n saying...
02:39Bunhaven!
02:41Bun as in Bun and Haven as in Milford Haven.
02:45oh Bunhaven!
02:46or was it? was it what?
02:47no it wasn't. it was another chap. what was his name?
02:51Brigadier...
02:53Brigadier...
02:58Bunhaven no.
03:01sir George
03:03is it important?
03:04of course it's important. the fella was the ADC.
03:08if only I could ask Bunhaven.
03:11perhaps you could. why?
03:14perhaps we could get in touch with him.
03:17don't be ridiculous. the fella's been dead longer than I have.
03:20well surely you're not going to let a little thing like that deter you.
03:24we could hold a seance.
03:27a what?
03:28a seance. you know get in touch with the other side.
03:31but confound it woman. we are the other side.
03:33oh nonsense. we're only halfway.
03:36well people make seances.
03:38oh not necessarily.
03:40anyway holding the seance would be a bit...
03:43quite unseemly.
03:45well I'm again conjuring spirits.
03:47don't be so superstitious. it's quite harmless. all we need is a wine glass and the alphabet.
03:52and the right attitude of course.
03:54then what?
03:54well then we put our fingertips on the glass and it glides from letter to letter.
03:59and answers all our questions.
04:00oh that! I'll see how broad aunt was doing that all the time. silly old trout.
04:05which one was she?
04:07what? oh you remember. the one with the ear trumpet.
04:10used to keep all those stray cats in the butler's pantry.
04:13hummed a lot.
04:14yeah must have done.
04:16well no not the pantry. the aunt. I meant it in the musical sense.
04:20that's why she had the ear trumpet.
04:22well shall we try?
04:24to get in touch.
04:27can't get in touch with anything nasty and then can't get rid of it.
04:30oh fiddlesticks. sir George!
04:33I have no objections.
04:36it takes about 10 minutes to fill.
04:38get the glass.
04:40no it's no good. we need another bucket.
04:42what?
04:44no for here you idiot.
04:46oh a glass.
04:47oh this'll come decent.
04:50I don't like you.
04:52oh don't be such a coward.
04:53there must be someone you want to talk to.
04:55there's a lot of people I don't want to talk to.
04:57I said you really think we could get in touch with Bunhaven?
05:00why don't you I not?
05:02we must just hope for the best.
05:13we're going to communicate with Bunhaven.
05:17there.
05:18now we can begin.
05:22uh who has first go?
05:26now fingertips on the glass like this.
05:32what then?
05:33make your mind a complete blank.
05:36shouldn't be difficult.
05:39if you...
05:40fingertips on the glass.
05:41is there anyone there?
05:45is there anyone there?
05:47yes.
05:50guardian.
05:51oh he would interrupt.
05:53shall I go bang the bedroom door?
05:55good thought and keep banging till he comes out.
05:59we'd better move.
06:00uh what lady?
06:01oh.
06:02that's got him puzzled.
06:04left by itself.
06:06granted.
06:10nervous indeed.
06:12what's the matter?
06:14I don't know.
06:16I don't know.
06:18I don't know.
06:20I don't know.
06:22I don't know.
06:24I don't know.
06:26I don't know.
06:28I don't know.
06:30nervous indeed.
06:32it's his house you know.
06:34what about it?
06:36supposed to be haunted.
06:38well that's right. go on.
06:44down you fool!
06:52that's a good guardian.
07:00Matt!
07:14how dare you frighten the guardian like that?
07:16he was only a lark.
07:18a lark? you terrify the man out of his wits
07:20and say he was only a lark?
07:22what about Fanny's bedroom ceiling?
07:24what about it?
07:26if you wasn't always out gallivanting you'd know it's letting in the rain.
07:28that's Fanny up there now.
07:30attracting Gudge's attention to it.
07:32and it may be weeks before he comes back.
07:34if then. in the meantime we'll be flooded out.
07:36and it's all your fault!
07:38you're a disgrace to Motley.
07:40I didn't know did I?
07:42where's he gone to? I'm getting awfully tired banging.
07:44where's Gudge?
07:46he scared him off.
07:50you muffin!
07:52I'm sorry.
07:54I shall hold you personally responsible if the roof comes in.
07:56otherwise you'll become the confounded nuisance.
07:58no sense of duty. no sense of duty.
08:00impertinent, slovenly and good for nothing.
08:02impertinent!
08:04I'm doing this.
08:06oh and so is it.
08:08and it's high time that you began to...
08:10began to...
08:12show more respect.
08:14otherwise...
08:16you'll have to go.
08:18go? yes.
08:20back to the stables.
08:22do you understand? yes.
08:24yes.
08:26Sir George!
08:28what?
08:30the séance. séance?
08:32it's Barnhaven. oh yes.
08:34I'd quite forgotten. where's the glass?
08:36here.
08:38what about Matt? he'll only be bathing himself.
08:40fetch your chair over lad.
08:42that's it.
08:44bring it over here.
08:46down here.
08:48put the tip of your finger on that glass.
08:50what for?
08:52for questions.
08:54is it a game? be quiet.
08:56like this.
09:00is there anyone there?
09:02should there be?
09:04be quiet.
09:08I'm worried about that bucket.
09:14is there anyone there?
09:18is there anyone there?
09:22Barney!
09:24shh! don't shush me madam.
09:26I think I should ask the questions.
09:28it was my A.D.C.
09:30it was my idea.
09:32very well then. get on with it.
09:34you've ruined the vibrations.
09:36now I'm left to start again.
09:38she's cooking.
09:40shh!
09:42you must be full by now.
09:46we must have absolute silence.
09:48shh!
09:52we wish to
09:54converse with
09:56Brigadier
09:58Bunhaven.
10:00late of the 21st
10:02answers. late!
10:10is there anyone there?
10:14I joke.
10:16hen?
10:18no.
10:20no.
10:22pushing the glass.
10:24I'm hardly touching it.
10:26who is pushing it?
10:28M
10:30A
10:32G
10:34Matt!
10:36I ain't. I ain't pushing it.
10:38it is you. I know it is.
10:40another one of your confounded locks.
10:42I ain't pushing it.
10:44take that hand off you young dog.
10:46there. there. you see? I knew it was you.
10:48I ain't just put my fingers on the glass.
10:50you're a loud and unmitigated liar.
10:52and I am sick of being yelled at.
10:54what?
10:56be much this instant.
11:10the bucket's burst.
11:12forward!
11:18you going then?
11:20I don't want my soldiers to be bullied
11:22and shouted at.
11:26you can tell me.
11:28it was you pushing, wasn't it? no.
11:30what sound it was?
11:32well it wasn't me.
11:34bet the old cannonball called out
11:36hot talk talk. why bother? he won't
11:38listen. he never does. no. it's all them
11:40battles left him a bit deaf.
11:42it's not just a trick you played on Gudgeon.
11:44all the glass goes deeper than that, you know.
11:46he envies you.
11:48so George does?
11:50we all do.
11:52going out. freedom.
11:56fine.
11:58come back in an hour. I'll talk you round.
12:00who did move the glass?
12:02I don't know.
12:04and I don't want to either.
12:16I'll put paid to you for good.
12:18and that goes for the rest of them.
12:22is there anyone there?
12:46music
13:08storm's nearly over.
13:12do you think I was a bit
13:14hard on the boy here?
13:16no I didn't. he's been very
13:18tiresome and it's time he was punished.
13:20no real harming him though
13:22is there? Gudgeon's bound
13:24to come back. I wish I hadn't
13:26sent Matt away.
13:28don't weaken Sir George.
13:30hello. who's there?
13:34it's me.
13:36what do you want?
13:38I want to come back Sir George. I'm sorry for
13:40what I did. moving the glass and all.
13:42and lying about it.
13:44and being disrespectful.
13:46please let me come back to Motley.
13:48there there there.
13:50mustn't be unmanly old chap.
13:52as a matter of fact
13:54I've been reconsidering my decision.
13:56I've decided to accept your apology
13:58and forget the whole thing.
14:00oh Sir George. you're too good to me Sir George.
14:02Sir George there's no finer
14:04spirit in Motley. I've always
14:06said so haven't I? that's very nice of you
14:08I'm sure. a real leader ain't he?
14:10thank you.
14:12we're lucky to serve under him.
14:18sometimes I feel the others
14:20don't respect you enough.
14:22well I don't know about that.
14:24oh I do.
14:26take Bodkin for instance.
14:30have you asked Sir George
14:32about me coming back?
14:34no not yet. they've been mopping up in Fanny's bedroom.
14:36I'll go and ask him now.
14:38make yourself useful.
14:40I'll be back and on.
14:44gravy idol.
14:46gravel grinder.
14:48aye that's what he called you. and he said you weren't fit
14:50to be in charge of a hencoop. let alone Motley.
14:54mutiny.
14:56that's what he's planning. he wants to be high cockle
14:58or him himself. does he indeed?
15:00I'd have told you before
15:02but it seemed a bit sneaky. what else?
15:04as he said.
15:06all kinds of things. I couldn't repeat half of them.
15:10he imitates you sometimes.
15:14imitates me?
15:16why?
15:18as I said to the prince consort
15:20gobble gobble gobble
15:22gobble
15:24gobble gobble
15:26he pretends you're a turkey see.
15:30by the thundering guns of Sebastian
15:32no Sir George.
15:34you only deny it.
15:36you want to catch him in the act.
15:38good thought.
15:46how now Sir George?
15:48roof stopped leaking?
15:50has it?
15:52yeah all swell again.
15:54is it?
15:56isn't it? aren't you feeling well?
15:58never felt better. never fitter. never brighter. never
16:00sharper.
16:02oh good.
16:04I'm pleased.
16:06some to lead and some to follow eh Bodkin?
16:08yeah that's the way it usually works.
16:10then state your business.
16:12have you come to study my little idiosyncrasies?
16:14no.
16:16now I've come to see about Matt.
16:18ha!
16:22he's not a bad lad.
16:24a bit wild but very very honest and I thought...
16:26you thought did you? what did you think?
16:28I thought that we ought to let him come back.
16:30we ought?
16:32oh no.
16:34sure.
16:36so that you can overrule my decision?
16:38no I just was going to ask you to let him come back.
16:40so that you can tell the others that you made me?
16:42of course not Sir George.
16:44what do you take me for?
16:46I take you
16:48for a two-faced
16:50malcontent sir.
16:52look here Sir George.
16:54gobble gobble gobble.
16:56gobble gobble.
16:58gobble.
17:00I'm a turkey ain't I?
17:02a turkey!
17:04I'm also a gravy eyed old gravel grinder ain't I?
17:08yeah I feel like.
17:10you mutinous dog!
17:12the boys already asked me pardon.
17:14what? yes and I granted it without
17:16any pressure from you.
17:18but he said...
17:22I'll put him in his place.
17:24here Matt.
17:28knock knock knock
17:30well what did he say?
17:32make a fool of me would you?
17:34you tawny little cockscomb!
17:36I'll double deal you little huff now!
17:38what's the matter?
17:40I'll give you back if I get hold of you!
17:42a net!
17:44a net!
17:46a net to catch them all!
17:48doorbell rings
17:50doorbell rings
17:52door opens
17:54have you heard Bodkin's new riddle?
17:56no. it's about you.
17:58oh is it?
18:00how many heads does Sir Francis hut roll?
18:06one? no you have four!
18:08oh how so?
18:10fatted, thicket, blocket and bonnet.
18:12oh
18:14doorbell rings
18:16doorbell rings
18:26White Lady?
18:28yes? Fanny's looking for you.
18:30oh? what does he want?
18:32he's very angry. Fanny is?
18:34aye about what you said to Sir George.
18:36oh what I said to Sir George?
18:38aye about Fanny.
18:40I never said anything to Sir George about Fanny.
18:42well Sir George told Fanny you did.
18:44what am I supposed to have said?
18:46that Fanny was an idle good for nothing.
18:48I never said anything of the kind!
18:50how dare Sir George!
18:52he's furious. and rightly so!
18:54just like the old cat he said.
18:56the old cat?
18:58she should have been muzzled long ago.
19:00muzzled?
19:02muzzled!
19:04I'll muzzle him!
19:06where is he? in the great hall.
19:08doorbell rings
19:10doorbell rings
19:12doorbell rings
19:14oh!
19:16I'll walk.
19:22you see Matt?
19:24yes and he told me your new riddle.
19:26new riddle?
19:28I ain't told him no new riddle.
19:30oh fathead, thickhead, blockhead, bonnet!
19:32oh
19:34you impudent hog-of-ight!
19:36Fanny stop it!
19:38how many hits have I got you doing?
19:40I'm not a man for Fanny!
19:42tell me your riddle!
19:44bonnet!
19:46we'll have four hits!
19:48desist!
19:50he insulted me.
19:52and you insulted me!
19:54oh my willow!
19:56by heavens I'll knock your head off!
20:00yes I've heard what you say.
20:02you'd have the old cat muzzled would you?
20:04you keep out of this!
20:06me? me?
20:08I'm the old cat!
20:10doorbell rings
20:12still plotting are you?
20:14still planning to overthrow me eh?
20:16why did you say?
20:18I said he was an idle good for nothing.
20:20I never said you said he was an idle good for nothing.
20:22she thinks she's a cat. you think you're a turkey.
20:24he don't know how many heads he's got.
20:26you're all as mad as made butter. all of you.
20:28traitor! none of you are gibberish sir.
20:30none of you are jesting.
20:32not fit to be in charge of a hen coop aren't I?
20:34you insulted me!
20:36you insulted me!
20:38you insulted me!
20:40you insulted me!
20:42you insulted me!
20:44Matt said. well that's about it ain't it?
20:46Matt said.
20:48seems as if Matt's been saying a lot of things.
20:50oh talk to the devil.
20:52listen!
20:54you lie little stupid!
20:56you've got to listen!
20:58get rid of him!
21:00tell him to go.
21:02we order you
21:04to leave Motley at once
21:06and never return.
21:10but that's just what he wants.
21:16who wants? the other one.
21:18the one that's doing all this. the one who looks just like me.
21:20rubbish.
21:22looks just like you? that's a good one ain't it?
21:24looks like you? to Matt?
21:26he was there watching you.
21:28and when he seen me he vanished.
21:30it's true!
21:32are you suggesting
21:36there's a doppelganger in the house?
21:40what's a doppelganger?
21:42don't jolly far into me.
21:44it's a spirit double.
21:46there's good and bad
21:48in everyone.
21:50even ghosts. that's true.
21:52a doppelganger is
21:54the bad part somehow
21:56separated from the good
21:58so that there's two
22:00of you.
22:02how ridiculous.
22:04each one exactly alike
22:06down to the last
22:08button.
22:10absolute rubbish.
22:12that thing we was doing with the glass.
22:14that's when it must have happened.
22:16I told you we shouldn't have meddled with it.
22:18I don't believe it. I didn't believe in ghosts.
22:20well I'm gonna get it.
22:24that's who ordered Penny remember?
22:26look
22:28you take that
22:30and the next time I see you
22:32if I don't ask for it back
22:34well it won't be me. it'll be the
22:36the other one.
22:38doppelganger.
22:48what time is it?
22:50what?
22:52the time.
22:54ten past four.
22:56it's always ten past four.
22:58well of course it is. the thing stopped
23:00when I broke my neck.
23:02doppelgangers.
23:06you swallowed the story
23:08just as you swallowed all the others.
23:10you swallowed them too?
23:12well I'm keeping an open mind.
23:14that's what it is is it?
23:16open.
23:18oh hello there.
23:20can I have my penny?
23:26has he appeared yet the doppelganger?
23:28of course he hasn't.
23:30doppelganger.
23:34can I have my penny?
23:36I just...
23:38glory!
23:40you ain't given it to him have you?
23:42he has. I'm Matt.
23:44no you're not. I'm Matt.
23:46he must have overheard me.
23:48he must have overheard me.
23:50what do we do now?
23:52which one's Matt?
23:54this is impossible.
23:56you said they were identical right?
23:58yes.
24:00down to the last button.
24:02then that's the answer.
24:04I don't follow.
24:06they're both the same right?
24:08down to the last button.
24:10that means they both start out
24:12with one double headed penny each.
24:14now
24:16Matt gave me his penny
24:18so if the one I've just given a penny to
24:20is Matt
24:22that means they've still got one penny each.
24:24but?
24:26but if the one I've just given a penny to
24:28has now got two
24:30then he's the doppelganger.
24:32well I'm out. my pocket's empty.
24:34all right!
24:40let me be! let me go!
24:42well
24:44it is!
24:46clever ain't you? but not as clever as me
24:48because I'll finish the lot of you.
24:50you'll see if I don't.
24:52you'll never get rid of me because you'll never know
24:54which one is me.
24:56you'll never trust him again because I'll be here
24:58waiting and listening for my chance
25:00to cause trouble.
25:02and I'll tell you this.
25:04what's happening?
25:06what is it?
25:08what is it?
25:10I won't go!
25:12I won't! I shall stay!
25:20I've never had an exit like that.
25:22almost worth being a doppelganger.
25:24will he
25:26come back?
25:28no he can't. he...
25:30blew up.
25:32no more seances. welcome home Matt.
25:34hello.
25:36Skodjin.
25:38Skod. oh he wants his umbrella.
25:40yeah.
25:44got a bit nervous didn't he?
25:50hiya Mr. Skodjin.
25:54ah!
25:56ah!
25:58look what you've done you silly little sausage.
26:00I was only trying to help.
26:02what about me?
26:04what about me?
26:06what about me?
26:36the end