#johncleese #fawltytowers #bbc https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5domZkB-eRa6BuFOO8OXaQ
Basil plans a surprise anniversary party for Sybil but, thinking he's forgotten it again, she walks out just before the guests arrive.
Basil plans a surprise anniversary party for Sybil but, thinking he's forgotten it again, she walks out just before the guests arrive.
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00:30I mean, it's only a hundred. Yeah, nothing to them.
00:36And I said I'd pay it back in six weeks. Well, knock it off your wages.
00:40And she said it would be all right. Oh?
00:44I mean, if he'd said no three weeks ago when I asked him, I could have got the money somewhere
00:48else. Ask him this morning.
00:49But I've asked him three times. It's embarrassing. Well, tell him, say, if he won't let you have
00:54it, you'll go. I've got to have it this weekend.
00:56Well, ask him. I mean, me and you practically run the bleeding place for him.
01:01Ah, Polly, your paintings brushes. Thank you, mummy.
01:06Here, and the change is a 44p. Ah, what's all that?
01:11Oh, I make a paella, a surprise tonight. My mother's recipe is...
01:18But does Terry know? Oh, perhaps Mr. Fawlty say.
01:27Anything wrong? Nothing you could do anything about, thank you, Polly.
01:34Are you sure? Our 15th wedding anniversary today.
01:39Guess who's forgotten? Oh, no.
01:43I didn't think he'd forget this year. Not after what happened when he forgot last year.
01:49I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it. I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature.
01:56I'm afraid. Still, that's the way I am. I suppose we all have air crossed to bear.
02:07Do you know what poem that's based on, Polly? No.
02:10Ode to Joy. Hello, dear.
02:14Oh, Polly, you won't forget to put some more splits in the bar, will you?
02:17No, I'll do it later. I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil.
02:20No, just reminding her, dear. Oh, were you?
02:22Oh, I thought so, yes. Really? Well, it sounded like it to me.
02:25You don't have to worry about Polly forgetting anything important, Basil.
02:28Don't I? No, you don't. Oh, good, how splendid.
02:31No, she doesn't forget things. Doesn't she?
02:34Well, can you remember the last time she did? No, I can't, but then my memory isn't very good.
02:40You can say that again. Can I do it? Oh, thank you.
02:44Ahem. I've forgotten what it was.
02:50Well, don't worry, Basil, provided you can remember the things that matter to you.
02:57Do I detect the smell of burning martyr?
03:01What? It's your anniversary.
03:04Hmm, but don't let on. What?
03:07I'm pretending I've forgotten. Well, I forgot last year and I got flayed alive for it,
03:10so we got some friends arriving in about ten minutes for a surprise drinks party.
03:15You see, Manuel's making a special paella for tonight.
03:18Got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet.
03:21Let's let her have a bit of a fume.
03:24Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil?
03:27Yes, but not as economical.
03:30Ah, Mr. Fawlty, what time for the paella?
03:33Ah, nine o'clock, but secret.
03:36Ah, secret.
03:38Ah, Mr. Fawlty, have you decided about the car?
03:42What? The money for the car.
03:45I spoke to Mrs. Fawlty and she said it was all right.
03:48Yes, I don't think she quite understands the cash flow situation vis-Ã -vis the frozen assets.
03:52But it's only a hundred. Yes, well...
03:54I thought I'd pay you back in six weeks. Let me think about it.
03:57But I've got to know this weekend they won't hold it any longer.
04:00This week? Oh, well, you should have told me.
04:03I told you three weeks ago.
04:05Look, look, it's my anniversary, right?
04:07I've got some friends arriving in a few minutes. We'll discuss it later.
04:10Give me a hand with the coats and drinks, will you?
04:13I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?
04:16What's this, then?
04:18Good morning, Mr. Fawlty. Good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
04:21Good morning, ladies.
04:24Could I have a word with you, Basil?
04:27Could it wait just a few minutes, dear?
04:29No.
04:35Is everything all right, dear? You seem just a little bit tense.
04:40Do you know what day it is today, Basil?
04:42Um, it's the 16th today, dear.
04:45It's the 17th, Basil.
04:47No, no, it's the 16th today, dear.
04:50It's the 17th, Basil.
04:52Well, we'll soon settle this, dear.
04:57Oh, yes, you are right, the 17th of April.
05:00Well, well, well.
05:03Does that stir any memories in you, Basil?
05:06Memories?
05:11Agincourt?
05:16What anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt?
05:21Trafalgar?
05:24Crecy? Poitiers? Yon-Kippur?
05:28Mr. Fawlty, Manuel says he's cooking a paella for you.
05:33Yes, for Mrs. Fawlty, anniversary.
05:35I can do paella, you know.
05:37Yes, I know.
05:38I've been to catering school.
05:39Oh, yes, I know, but he is Spanish, you know, and I thought it would be rather nice to...
05:42Gispacho, chicken Andalus, eggplant Espanol, Franco fritters.
05:46I can do it, you know.
05:47Yes, of course you can, but he's been wanting to do it ever since he got here,
05:50so I thought it would be rather nice, you know, just tonight to give it a try.
06:00I don't want to cause trouble, Mr. Fawlty.
06:03Yes, you do.
06:04Mr. Fawlty...
06:05Now, don't you start. I don't want an argument.
06:07Now, be quiet. I've told him I want you to do it.
06:10No, no, no. Mrs. Fawlty, she go.
06:13What?
06:14She leave. She leave. She go out.
06:17What?
06:19Sybil!
06:22Oh, Sybil! Sybil! Sybil! No, no, no, no, no!
06:26I remember Sybil!
06:28There's a party, Sybil!
06:30There's a party!
06:31There's a party!
06:38Oh!
06:50Everything all right?
06:53Bit of a bump.
06:54Just smoothing it out.
06:59Oh, not at all!
07:00Um, come on in.
07:08Come on in.
07:15What do I say? What am I going to say?
07:17Oh, say she's, um...
07:19She's, um...
07:20Oh, brilliant! Problem solved.
07:22She's, um...
07:23It's surprise party.
07:25Yes, she no here.
07:26Right.
07:27That is surprise.
07:31Hello, Bess!
07:33Say she's ill.
07:34She's ill.
07:35What?
07:36What would you like to drink?
07:37Sybil!
07:38Yes!
07:39Oh, dear! What's the matter?
07:40Did you hear that?
07:41I said Sybil!
07:43Yes?
07:44Oh, do you got it?
07:45No, no, no, I'm fine.
07:46No, no, no, well, I call her...
07:48I call her Syb, right?
07:50So Sybil!
07:52Bazwell!
07:55Manuel!
07:59What's the matter, Basil?
08:00What have you done to her, eh, Baz?
08:02Roger!
08:03Oh, she knows my name.
08:04She's been learning it all night.
08:06What's the matter, Basil?
08:07Nothing.
08:09Nothing.
08:10But Sybil!
08:11Oh, Sybil!
08:12Uh...
08:13Quite a bit, actually.
08:14Oh, dear!
08:15No, no, she's fine.
08:16She's absolutely fine.
08:17Well, I mean, she's feeling dreadful.
08:19But she'll live.
08:20That's what counts in the long run, isn't it?
08:21Well, I'll pop up and see her, then.
08:23Oh, do you not want to bother about that?
08:24Come on through.
08:25Have a drink.
08:26No, you go on.
08:27I'll see you in a minute.
08:28No, no, Alice.
08:29Yes?
08:30I wouldn't, actually.
08:31Let her have a natter, old boy.
08:32I mustn't.
08:33Oh, but she's up there on her own.
08:34I'm sure she'd like a little company.
08:36Uh-uh.
08:37I know I would.
08:38Well, you wouldn't if you looked like her.
08:39Why?
08:40You know, she's, uh, very swollen up.
08:41You know, she looks very...
08:42You know what Sybil's like about her appearance.
08:43Oh, don't be silly, Basil.
08:44She won't mind me seeing her.
08:45Oh, she would.
08:46I think she would.
08:47Oh, but it's her anniversary.
08:48She's up there all on her own.
08:49Ah!
08:50Ah!
08:51Ah!
08:52Old leg, bit of chip.
08:53Oh!
08:54Oh!
08:55Better have a drink.
08:56Come on through.
08:57Oh!
08:58Oh!
08:59Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:01Oh, poor Basil.
09:02Look, let me call her then.
09:03What?
09:04Let me call her from down here and see what she says about it.
09:05Uh...
09:06There's the phone.
09:07Come on, Basil.
09:08Let's have a drink.
09:09No, no, please.
09:10Come on, please.
09:11Why not?
09:12Well, she's having a bit of a sleep.
09:13You know...
09:14She could sleep all day, Basil.
09:15She won't mind me...
09:16No, but she's lost her voice.
09:17Lost her voice?
09:18Poor thing.
09:19Gone.
09:20Just like that.
09:21Come on.
09:22Just coming, Roger.
09:23Off to you.
09:24Off to you, Alice.
09:26All right, Alice.
09:27What would you...
09:28What would you like to drink, Alice?
09:29Oh, gin and liquor, please, Basil.
09:30Right.
09:31Has the doctor been?
09:32Uh, what's yours, Rog?
09:33Gin and tonic.
09:34Oh, yes, of course.
09:35Right.
09:36Basil?
09:37Mm-hm?
09:38Has the doctor been?
09:39I'm not...
09:40They've had a row.
09:41She's refused to come.
09:42She's refused to come.
09:43She's refused to come.
09:44She's refused to come.
09:45She's refused to come.
09:46She's refused to come.
09:47She's refused to come.
09:48She's refused to come.
09:49She's refused to come.
09:50She's refused to come.
09:51She's refused to come.
09:52She's refused to come.
09:53She's refused to come.
09:54She's refused to come.
09:55She's refused to come.
09:56She's refused to come.
09:57She's refused to come.
09:58She's refused to come.
09:59She's refused to come.
10:00She's refused to come.
10:01She's refused to come.
10:02She's refused to come.
10:03She's refused to come.
10:04She's refused to come.
10:05She's refused to come.
10:06She's refused to come.
10:07She's refused to come.
10:08She's refused to come.
10:09She's refused to come.
10:10She's refused to come.
10:11She's refused to come.
10:12She's refused to come.
10:13She's refused to come.
10:14She's refused to come.
10:15She's refused to come.
10:16She's refused to come.
10:17She's refused to come.
10:18She's refused to come.
10:19She's refused to come.
10:20She's refused to come.
10:21She's refused to come.
10:22She's refused to come.
10:23She's refused to come.
10:24She's refused to come.
10:25She's refused to come.
10:26She's refused to come.
10:27She's refused to come.
10:28She's refused to come.
10:29She's refused to come.
10:30She's refused to come.
10:31She's refused to come.
10:32She's refused to come.
10:33She's refused to come.
10:34She's refused to come.
10:35She's refused to come.
10:36She's refused to come.
10:37She's refused to come.
10:38She's refused to come.
10:39She's refused to come.
10:40She's refused to come.
10:41She's refused to come.
10:42She's refused to come.
10:43She's refused to come.
10:44She's refused to come.
10:45She's refused to come.
10:46She's refused to come.
10:47She's refused to come.
10:48She's refused to come.
10:49She's refused to come.
10:50She's refused to come.
10:51She's refused to come.
10:52She's refused to come.
10:53She's refused to come.
10:54She's refused to come.
10:55She's refused to come.
10:56She's refused to come.
10:57She's refused to come.
10:58She's refused to come.
10:59She's refused to come.
11:00She's refused to come.
11:01She's refused to come.
11:02She's refused to come.
11:03She's refused to come.
11:04She's refused to come.
11:05She's refused to come.
11:06She's refused to come.
11:07She's refused to come.
11:08She's refused to come.
11:09She's refused to come.
11:10She's refused to come.
11:11She's refused to come.
11:12She's refused to come.
11:13She's refused to come.
11:14She's refused to come.
11:16Yeah, still all comes out the wash, doesn't it?
11:18I was thinking of having this room done up, as a matter of fact.
11:20Really?
11:21Sort of captain's cabin, you know, put a couple of charts on the wall,
11:24a few ropes, wheel in the corner, that sort of thing.
11:26Yeah, give it a bit of class.
11:28Wasn't my idea, Roger.
11:30Impossible.
11:31Hello!
11:32Hello!
11:33Hello!
11:34Hello!
11:35Hello, McKinney.
11:36Hello, Arthur.
11:37Happy anniversary.
11:39Oh, thank you, thank you, yes.
11:41We brought you a little surprise.
11:42Oh, can I see?
11:44Mm-hmm.
11:45Oh, cake, lovely.
11:47Jolly nice, yes.
11:48Oh, did you make it?
11:50Oh, lots of extra marzipan.
11:53Yes.
11:54She's not well.
11:55Hmm?
11:56Sybil.
11:57Not well?
11:58She's in bed.
11:59That's not like Sybil.
12:01She's lost her voice.
12:02What is it?
12:03Well, we're not absolutely sure.
12:05I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan.
12:07Roger.
12:08It'd cheer her up bad.
12:10Good idea.
12:11We'll take her up a slice.
12:13Yes, I don't think you'd better.
12:14Oh, why not?
12:15Well, she really ought not to be disturbed.
12:17Oh, just for a minute.
12:18It's not a very good idea.
12:19Tomorrow, perhaps.
12:20Oh, what on earth's the matter with her?
12:22Has the doctor been?
12:23No, but the dentist had a good look.
12:28The dentist?
12:29No, we called the doctor.
12:30We described the symptoms to him over the phone.
12:32He says she ought to stay very, very quiet.
12:34Now, Polly, what would you like to drink?
12:36Oh, medium sherry, please.
12:38Medium sherry, please.
12:40Mr. Fordham.
12:41What are the symptoms?
12:43Well, she's lost her voice and she's very puffed up.
12:46Yes?
12:47What is it, Mr. Fordham?
12:48Hysteria.
12:49He's been very difficult.
12:50Puffed up?
12:51What?
12:52He moved my pot.
12:53He put his pot where my pot is.
12:55Polly, what's puffed up?
12:58Beer for me.
12:59Well, put your pot somewhere else.
13:01I put it somewhere else.
13:02He moved it again.
13:03What's puffed up?
13:05Lies.
13:06I want to do it, all right?
13:07What?
13:08Lies.
13:09I tell you, he want to make trouble.
13:10He pushy-mopping my feet.
13:12Look, look, look.
13:13Her thighs.
13:15Thighs?
13:17Well, most of her legs, actually.
13:19Now, just tell him.
13:20Go on.
13:21Basil.
13:22Hmm?
13:23Polly says her legs are puffed up.
13:25Are they?
13:30No, sipples.
13:33What?
13:34Sipples legs.
13:35Sipples legs?
13:37Her thighs.
13:38Oh, yes, just a bit.
13:40A tiny bit.
13:41But mainly around the face, around the eyes, you know?
13:44Oh.
13:46Face is puffed up.
13:47She's lost her voice and her legs are a bit...
13:49Expanded.
13:50Sad, isn't it?
13:51Poor old sow.
13:54Well, when's the doctor coming?
13:56Later.
13:57So, so when?
13:58Well, I don't know exactly.
13:59Well, I bet you do.
14:00I can have a look at her.
14:01What?
14:02She sounds ill, Basil.
14:03She is ill.
14:04That's why we don't want people going up there and talking to her.
14:07I'm not going to talk to her, Basil.
14:09I'm going to look at her.
14:11Look at...
14:12She's ill, isn't she?
14:13What's the bloody point of looking at her?
14:17I am a nurse, Basil.
14:20Oh, no.
14:21I know.
14:22I do.
14:23I do.
14:24Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:26Did you hear that, everyone?
14:27All the years I've known old Virginia, she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse.
14:31You're a marvel, you know?
14:34Please let me go, Basil.
14:36Hmm?
14:37I want to look at Sybil.
14:38Well, you can't.
14:39Why not?
14:40Because...
14:41Because...
14:42You've lost weight, haven't you?
14:44Isn't there absolutely...
14:45Mr. Baldy?
14:47Hmm?
14:48I think you ought to tell them.
14:50Oh.
14:51Right.
14:53About the doctor coming this morning.
14:57He came this morning?
14:58First thing?
14:59Well, why didn't you say?
15:03He didn't want to worry you.
15:05I didn't want to worry you.
15:08Is it serious?
15:11Well, it might be.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:13I mean, not completely serious, but slightly serious.
15:16Oh, poor Basil.
15:18It's all right.
15:19I'd just rather we, you know, talked about it.
15:21Yes.
15:22Hello, everyone.
15:23Hello.
15:24Basil.
15:25Hello, Basil.
15:26Hello, Rachel.
15:28Hello.
15:29Sybil's not here, is she?
15:31No, no.
15:32There you are, you see.
15:33I told you so.
15:34I just saw her in the town.
15:37What?
15:39In her car.
15:40In the high street.
15:43That's that other woman.
15:44What other woman?
15:45That woman who looks slightly like Sybil.
15:48You know her, don't you?
15:49You know?
15:50Like Sybil?
15:51Well, yes.
15:52Very, very broad, yes.
15:53She's from the north.
15:54Drives her red Maxi, does she?
15:56Well, her husband does.
15:57I think I expect she borrowed it.
15:58Perhaps she stole yours, old boy.
16:00It's not out there.
16:01It's at the garage, Rog.
16:02She looks like Sybil.
16:04Yes.
16:05And she comes from the north.
16:06Well, she has a northern accent, you know.
16:07I assume she's from the north.
16:09Oh, you've spoken to her?
16:11Mm-hmm.
16:12What's her name?
16:13Well, I don't know her name.
16:14I mean, I only met her once.
16:15What?
16:16By fate, I mean.
16:17Sorry, Basil.
16:18I didn't mean to.
16:19No, no, of course.
16:20By the way, Basil, where is Sybil?
16:22She's in bed.
16:23Oh, dear.
16:24Yes, she's really not well.
16:26She really mustn't see anybody.
16:27Now, what?
16:28Not at all?
16:29You know what?
16:30We'd just put our heads round the corner.
16:31No, I'm afraid that she mustn't have any excitement.
16:33Oh, Basil.
16:34What do you mean, old Basil?
16:36Well, we are her oldest friends, old man.
16:38I mean, it can only do her good.
16:40And we have all come over here to see you both.
16:42Well, I'm sorry if you've been put out.
16:44I mean, you'll have some drinks, plenty of nuts,
16:46see your old friends, have some laughs,
16:48but if that isn't good enough,
16:49I'll refund your petrol for you.
16:51No.
16:52Steady on, Basil.
16:54Well, I'm sorry.
16:55Of course.
16:56We understand you're a bit upset.
16:58Well, you know.
16:59Yes, of course.
17:00But you know us well enough.
17:02You should have called it off, waited till she's better.
17:04Well, I would have done, Rich, but there just wasn't time.
17:06Wasn't time?
17:07She only began to puff up about an hour ago.
17:09Yeah, but you said that the doctor came first thing this morning.
17:13Yes, yes, that's right.
17:14Yes, that was for the throat.
17:15The puffing up started after he'd gone, okay?
17:18After?
17:19Yes, after you taking notes.
17:21Where have you gone?
17:23I'm going to see her.
17:24Basil, there is something very peculiar about all this.
17:27No, I'm not standing here while an old friend like Sybil...
17:30Look, it's perfectly Sybil.
17:33Sybil's not well.
17:34She lost her throat and her voice hurt.
17:36The doctor came and said it was a bit serious.
17:38Not a lot, a bit.
17:40He went away, she started to puff up,
17:42he's coming back later this afternoon
17:44and it's best for her to be on her own.
17:46Now, what is so peculiar about that?
17:49Her driving round in the town.
17:54What did you say?
17:56No, sorry, just a joke, Basil.
17:58Can I have another gin, please?
17:59Just a joke?
18:00What, she's down there in the town driving round?
18:03Of course it isn't, Basil.
18:05No, no, no, obviously I've been standing around here
18:07making up crackpot stories about my wife being seriously upstairs.
18:10Is that it?
18:11No, no, no, of course not.
18:12It was just that it was a bit funny, Kitty,
18:14seeing that northern woman in the car.
18:16Funny?
18:17Oh, I see.
18:19You mean you think that that was Sybil in the car
18:22and she's not upstairs, is that it?
18:24Oh, I understand.
18:26I've got it now, right.
18:28Well, what are we all waiting around here for?
18:30Come on, everybody upstairs.
18:33Come on!
18:34No, Basil.
18:35Come on, everyone who thinks I'm a liar, come on.
18:38Come on, come on, come on.
18:40Hang on a minute.
18:42Oh, don't get like that, Basil.
18:44No, we don't want to.
18:46Now, it'd be best to leave her.
18:47We'll see her some other time.
18:48Yes, when she's feeling better.
18:50But Roger wants to know.
18:51No, we mustn't disturb her, Basil.
18:52No, no, no, no.
18:53If Roger wants to...
18:54He doesn't, Basil.
18:57Well, we could just say hello.
18:59Oh, Roger!
19:01Right, all right.
19:02Fine.
19:03All right.
19:04OK, then.
19:05Fine.
19:06No problem.
19:07No problem suits me.
19:08Good idea.
19:09I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying
19:12and then you can all come up and identify her.
19:15Polly, would you give me a hand?
19:17Help yourself to another drink, please.
19:18Make yourself at home.
19:19Relax.
19:21Any more nuts?
19:23What are you doing?
19:24You won't have to say anything.
19:25What?
19:26Oh, no.
19:27Come on.
19:28No, no, no.
19:29No!
19:30Come on.
19:31I won't!
19:32Yes, you will.
19:33I won't, I won't!
19:34It's easy.
19:35You put on her dark glasses.
19:36One of her wings.
19:37Come on.
19:38Just keep them away from me.
19:40Mr. Forty, will you listen to me?
19:42You'll draw the curtain.
19:43Come on.
19:44Oh, come on.
19:45They'd never believe I was...
19:46Listening is believing.
19:47But I don't look like her.
19:48You're a woman, aren't you?
19:49My face is too long!
19:50Well, shortly.
19:51You lost your voice.
19:52All you have to do is wave.
19:53Wave?
19:54You put one hand up and jiggle it about.
19:55You'll soon get the hang of it.
19:56Mr. Forty, I know you're very excited.
19:57You might even be having a nervous breakdown.
19:58I don't know.
19:59I'm no expert.
20:00But you must really try and see that this isn't going to work.
20:01Get that on.
20:02It isn't going to work.
20:03What's the matter?
20:04What's the matter?
20:05I'm not doing it.
20:06You want to be in a Marx Brothers film.
20:07That's your problem.
20:08I'm not doing it.
20:09I'm not doing it.
20:10I'm not doing it.
20:11I'm not doing it.
20:12I'm not doing it.
20:13I'm not doing it.
20:14I'm not doing it.
20:15I'm not doing it.
20:16I'm not doing it.
20:17I'm not doing it.
20:18I'm not doing it.
20:19I'm not doing it.
20:20I'm not doing it.
20:21I'm not doing it.
20:22I'm not doing it.
20:23I'm not doing it.
20:24I'm not doing it.
20:25I'm not doing it.
20:26I'm not doing it.
20:27I'm not doing it.
20:28I'm not doing it.
20:29I'm not doing it.
20:30I'm not doing it.
20:31I'm not doing it.
20:32I'm not doing it.
20:33I'm not doing it.
20:34I'm not doing it.
20:35I'm not doing it.
20:36I'm not doing it.
20:37I'm not doing it.
20:38I'm not doing it.
20:39I'm not doing it.
20:40I'm not doing it.
20:41I'm not doing it.
20:42I'm not doing it.
20:43I'm not doing it.
20:44I'm not doing it.
20:45I'm not doing it.
20:46I'm not doing it.
20:47I'm not doing it.
20:48I'm not doing it.
20:49I'm not doing it.
20:50I'm not doing it.
20:51I'm not doing it.
20:52I'm not doing it.
20:53I'm not doing it.
20:54I'm not doing it.
20:55I'm not doing it.
20:56I'm not doing it.
20:57I'm not doing it.
20:58I'm not doing it.
20:59I'm not doing it.
21:00I'm not doing it.
21:01I'm not doing it.
21:02I'm not doing it.
21:03I'm not doing it.
21:04I'm not doing it.
21:05I'm not doing it.
21:06I'm not doing it.
21:07I'm not doing it.
21:08You read?
21:09I never read.
21:10I never read.
21:11I never read.
21:12It's all my fault that you never read.
21:13I didn't mean to offend you.
21:14You are going to improve your reading.
21:19You're from a Prius.
21:22Then you should drive on a white car.
21:31Now?
21:31Now.
21:38Hello?
21:39He's no possible.
21:40What?
21:40He's no possible for me. Please come.
21:42What is it?
21:43He's terribly scum.
21:44Look, I'm busy.
21:45He tell me.
21:46I not know to make a paella.
21:49He tell me.
21:50You tell him.
21:51I tell him paella is a Spanish, not Cockney stinking eel pie.
21:55Right.
21:56I make a paella like my mama.
21:58I'm not interested.
21:59My mother's recipe is big in Barcelona.
22:02Go away.
22:02No, please, you come, you come.
22:04He call me ignorant, wog, mother boy, cramp.
22:08Let go of me.
22:09Now, look.
22:09Asshole.
22:10Yes.
22:11I do tell Terry, let you alone.
22:13Asshole.
22:13Ah, yes, French.
22:14Go on.
22:15Go away.
22:17No, no, not you, not you.
22:18Big in Barcelona.
22:20Big, big.
22:21Are we supposed to come up there?
22:22Ah, yes, in a moment, French.
22:24Um, no, no, no.
22:26Come on up now.
22:27No, no.
22:28Yes, come on up.
22:29Yes, she's just, um, you know, touching up the worst bits.
22:33How is she feeling, Basil?
22:34Well, um, I woke her and told her to come over and she's very, very pleased, of course,
22:39but she's very weak in her throat.
22:41You know, she has great difficulty expressing herself.
22:43Oh.
22:44Yeah.
22:46Makes a change.
22:50She'll be up to see you in a moment.
22:52She's pretty quick with the old...
22:53Oh, she's not bothering to make up for us, is she?
22:55Oh, no, no, no, no.
22:56Just, um, you know.
23:01She asked me to thank you and to say how very much she's looking forward to seeing you all.
23:05That's nice.
23:06That's nice, isn't it?
23:07She can speak a little then, can't she, Basil?
23:12Um, not really, no.
23:14No, I see what you mean.
23:15No, she wrote that down, actually, on one of the, uh, postcards.
23:18You know, she keeps it by the side of...
23:20Did she stamp it?
23:26Basil, do you have an ashtray?
23:28Oh, yes, I'll just get one, Alice.
23:29Oh, Basil, don't...
23:30No, no, it's no bother.
23:31No, no, not at all.
23:32Just hold on a second.
23:45Mr. Vardy.
23:46Mr. Vardy!
23:50He put mince in it!
23:51He put bloody mince in it!
23:53What have you done?
23:55Oh, sorry, sorry!
23:56Look, I tell him, paying is a feast!
23:59Go away, go away!
24:00But what I do...
24:01Go away! Arriba! Vamos!
24:07Well, this is fun, isn't it?
24:09Roger!
24:10Yeah, I mean, who wants to go to the boozer or play golf when you can come to one of Basil's do's?
24:16Come on, Roger.
24:18It can't be easy for him with Sibyl lying there ill.
24:22Well, you know what I think about that?
24:24What?
24:25Shh, shh, shh.
24:27Oh, well, I brought some nuts.
24:30Oh, Basil, you shouldn't have.
24:32He could just take the ashtray, or we could...
24:34Oh, sorry.
24:35Never mind.
24:36I'll get some more, shall I?
24:38No, no, you've got the crisps.
24:39Are you sure? I don't mind...
24:40No, no, no, no, crisps will be lovely.
24:42Really? Oh, OK.
24:43Um, crisps, Alice?
24:45Oh, thank you.
24:47Arthur, would you like...
24:47Not for me, thank you very much.
24:49Kitty, would you like a crisp?
24:50Thank you, lovely, thank you.
24:51Here, I'll just get a brush.
24:53A Basil brush!
24:57Vroom, vroom.
24:58Roger.
25:00What did you mean?
25:01Well, they've had a row. She's refused to come down.
25:05Roger.
25:06He's embarrassed her into seeing us.
25:08I'm not interested!
25:10I'm not interested!
25:16Oh, don't you bother.
25:18Leave it to me. Here we are.
25:20Right.
25:21Basil?
25:24Basil?
25:25Hmm?
25:26Perhaps she's ready now?
25:28Oh, yes. Uh, good idea.
25:30Yes, I'll just have a look.
25:32Right.
25:35It's not quite.
25:37Nearly.
25:40Anyone care for another crisp?
25:42Would you like...
25:43No, no, no crisps.
25:44Excuse me.
25:45Have you got a chalk, Alice?
25:48I'll put them there, you know, just help yourself.
25:51Nice carpet, Basil.
25:52Oh, thank you, yes. A bit worn now.
25:54No, I thought that was part of the pattern.
25:58Nice paper, Basil.
26:00Oh, thank you, Alice, yes. We got it together with the carpet, actually.
26:02Oh, with it?
26:03That's right, Roger.
26:04Yeah, well, one of them will have to go. My money's on the carpet.
26:08You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you, Roger?
26:10Yes.
26:11I don't know if you've ever seen the moulding up there, but one of...
26:15Oh, dear!
26:16It's all right, it's all right, don't worry, don't worry, I'll clean it up.
26:19What drives the main feature?
26:21Morning, Toffee!
26:23Lovely day for a round of golf.
26:25Morning, Major, yes.
26:27Anyone care to make up a form?
26:29No, no, we're going to see Sybil, Major.
26:31Ah, playing a match, is she?
26:33No, no, she's ill, really quite ill.
26:35Oh, she should be in bed, you know.
26:37Yes, she is. We're going in to see her.
26:39Oh, another lot in there with her, is there?
26:42May I introduce Major Gowen, our oldest resident?
26:45I don't know if you know everyone.
26:47It's nice to meet you.
26:49Welcome to Toffee.
26:51How do you do, my dear?
26:53Welcome to you, sir.
26:54Yes, all right, she's ready now, come on in.
26:57Yes, not you, ma'am.
27:01Oh, Sybil!
27:02Hello, darling, don't try and speak.
27:05The gang's here.
27:06Sorry you're not well.
27:08Such a shame.
27:09So we thought we'd come and wish you happy anniversary.
27:12Yes, happy anniversary.
27:14Oh, just an apple.
27:15Reg, you've fallen over. Are you all right, Reg?
27:17She's done my ankles.
27:19Oh, dear.
27:20You all right, Reg?
27:21Careful.
27:22It's so dark in here.
27:24Bloody lights.
27:25It's not working.
27:26I can't open the door.
27:27Who's that?
27:28It's me.
27:29It's Kitty.
27:30Where are you, dear?
27:31Can't we have some light in here, Basil?
27:33Yes, all right, hang on.
27:35Are you all right, dear?
27:36Here we are.
27:38OK.
27:39Now the light's on, we can see the street.
27:42Oh, dear.
27:43Are you all right, Kitty?
27:47You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble, Basil.
27:50Come on up here, OK?
27:52You both all right?
27:53Come on round there, OK?
27:54You can see her from there.
27:56Everything all right, dear?
27:58Here she is.
27:59Hello, Sybil.
28:01Oh, yes.
28:02There's something there, I can see it moving.
28:06It's a bit dark, Basil.
28:08Yes, well, her eyes are very sensitive.
28:10She's got her glasses.
28:11Yes, well, I'll just draw the curtains.
28:13Yes, I know the idea.
28:15Trust me, dear, trust me.
28:20There we are.
28:21Is that better?
28:22Happy anniversary.
28:27Oh, dear.
28:30How are you feeling, dear?
28:35Oh, that's a shame.
28:37You're very swollen.
28:41Her thighs, the thighs.
28:43He brought you a kale.
28:45Oh, yes, yes.
28:46Have a little bit, dear.
28:48Oh, have a little bit, dear.
28:50Go on.
28:51Oh, yes, all right.
28:52Well, 15 years, eh?
28:55Happy anniversary.
28:57Well done.
28:58Thank you.
29:00Oh, I'm so happy.
29:04Yes, well, I think she's feeling a little bit tired.
29:06She has all that waving and where anyone else.
29:09Yes, I know.
29:10Perhaps we'd better all...
29:12What's in her mouth, that white stuff?
29:16Just foam, you know, from the excitement.
29:2115 years, eh?
29:24Ah!
29:26What is it? What is it?
29:28I just remembered something.
29:29Downstairs.
29:30You stay here.
29:31Have a chat with Polly.
29:32Simple, simple.
29:33I'll just do a choppy moment.
29:35A chat?
29:36Does anyone know Semaphore?
29:43Hello, dear.
29:44I came back from my class, Basil.
29:46I'm not staying.
29:47Oh, aren't you...
29:49OK.
29:50What?
29:53I'm sure you know best, dear.
29:55You don't even want me to, do you?
29:58Um...
29:59Well, what's that?
30:0315 years I've been with you,
30:05when I think what I might have had.
30:0715 years.
30:09God!
30:11You want me to go, don't you?
30:13Oh, no, but you've obviously made your mind up, so...
30:17I won't forget this, Basil.
30:19Won't you, dear?
30:20No, I won't.
30:23I'm going now, Basil.
30:24I think it's best, don't you?
30:26All right, dear.
30:30Bye, Basil.
30:32Cheerio, dear.
30:35Drive carefully, dear.
30:38Get well soon.
30:39Look after yourself.
30:40We'll have a little party when you're feeling better.
30:44You know, I don't like leaving you like this, dear.
30:48Let me just have a little feel,
30:51just to see if...
30:52No, no, no, no.
30:54Don't be frightened.
30:56No, I'm not going to hurt you.
30:58Now, just feel your glands, dear.
31:02Now, don't be silly, Sybil.
31:04Just trust me.
31:06It's for your own good.
31:07Now, don't be silly.
31:11What's going on?
31:12She hit me, Basil.
31:15What?
31:16I was trying to examine her.
31:18She lashed out.
31:20Don't hit our friends.
31:21I know you're not feeling 100%.
31:23Control yourself.
31:24I'm sorry.
31:25She's not herself today.
31:26Don't worry.
31:27The doctor will be here soon.
31:28I'll give you a call.
31:29Tell him what he says.
31:30So, um...
31:31Everyone care for another drink of...
31:33No, no, no.
31:34We ought to be going.
31:35It's going to be quite nice.
31:37Right.
31:41They're all the same, dear.
31:44They're all the same.
31:46Believe me.
31:47Oh, no.
31:48Oh, no.
31:49Oh, no.
31:50Don't forget all about it.
31:52We're going to have a nice game of golf
31:54and then go out to dinner.
31:58Did you get your clubs?
32:09Well, awfully nice to have seen you all.
32:11Thanks for coming out.
32:15Not at all.
32:16We must do this more often.
32:18You know, we don't fit again.
32:20Yes, yes.
32:21Sorry about all the injuries.
32:22Still, um...
32:23You know, perhaps when Sybil's a bit better
32:25we can all get together and, you know,
32:27have a proper...
32:34How extraordinary.
32:36We were just talking about you.
32:38Basil Fawlty.
32:39We met once at a fete.
32:41Let me show you where it is.
32:42How is the North?
32:43Have you been up there at all recently?
32:45Was it...
32:46You're no good, sir!
32:51I'll have to kill you, Mr Fawlty!
32:53I'll have to kill you!
32:54I will sandbag you!
32:56I'll explain everything in a moment.
33:01I want my mother like that!
33:03It's not fair!
33:04It's not fair!
33:08What a coincidence, sir.
33:10She's thinking of buying one of our fridges.
33:12Well, lovely to have seen you.
33:14Sorry about the ankle.
33:16Sorry.
33:17Just keep the head right back.
33:20Sorry, does it just sprain?
33:23Great fun.
33:33Piece of cake.
33:35Now comes the tricky bit.
34:14THE END