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Short filmTranscript
00:00In Ireland they tell the story of the Fetch. The Fetch is your supernatural doppelganger,
00:07your twin. And if you happen to see yourself, to see your Fetch, means you're going to die.
00:30Guys, everyone back, please. Move back, back, back, back, back.
00:40Everyone, please, will you get back? You can't record that either.
00:43Sergeant, you have to move along now, please.
00:45Oh, what?
00:49I thought you were all hashtag van life.
00:53Jesus, lads, you're good.
00:55Oh, yeah, come on.
00:58Any bodies? Seamus?
01:00We're sending divers in.
01:04Well, no, but I paid my pal Billy 20 euro to go in and take a gander.
01:09Yeah, it is not exactly CSI Skibbereen around here.
01:12We've been tasked to work with the local Gardaí for an extradition.
01:15Since your superior's in the hospital, we'll need your help in apprehending one Davasa Maloney.
01:25Will I need a gun?
01:27Maybe.
01:28No, we just need you to arrest her. This is your jurisdiction.
01:31I'll be accompanying you.
01:34Got your note.
01:57Two fucking years.
02:00Do you think Seamus knows?
02:02No. No way. I mean, if he knew...
02:05Yo, Amy, do you have an iron?
02:06No.
02:07I have a glass of water.
02:08I'm going to go get it.
02:09I'm gonna get it.
02:10I'll be back in a minute.
02:11No, Amy, come on.
02:12I need it.
02:14I'll be back in a minute.
02:16I need it.
02:18I need it.
02:20I need it.
02:22I need it.
02:23I need it.
02:24I need it.
02:25No.
02:26Well, it seems like the sort of boring thing you'd have.
02:29I don't have an iron dove.
02:31Huh.
02:48I've got sausages from Clon.
02:50So thick they look like rabeens.
02:52I've got cherry tomatoes from Bally to Hub.
02:55And I've got eggs from my man at the English market.
02:58Eggs. Eggs would be great.
03:00What I'd really like is some yoghurt.
03:03Yoghurt?
03:05Yeah, or some fruit, maybe.
03:07A banana or...
03:09I could have at least had a sausage.
03:11They're thick as rabeens.
03:13You don't know what a rabeen is?
03:15No, but, you know, I bet they're thick.
03:17Psst.
03:19I want to see something weird.
03:21Some papers tied with a curtain tie?
03:23No.
03:24It's a fucking signature.
03:27A belt from a nun's habit.
03:29Just a bunch of old utility bills and a nursing certificate.
03:32I don't really understand.
03:34I mean, it's a...
03:36It's a...
03:37It's a...
03:38It's a...
03:39It's a...
03:40It's a...
03:41It's a...
03:42It's a...
03:43It's a...
03:44It's a...
03:45It's a...
03:46It's a...
03:47It's a...
03:48It's a...
03:49It's a...
03:50I don't really understand.
03:51What's the significance of a signature?
03:53Signatures are unique to each order.
03:55This one's from the Sisters of Mercy,
03:57the same order as the nuns on Inishmactir.
04:00Meaning?
04:01The Sisters of Mercy are a nursing order.
04:03Mrs. O'Shea has already told us it.
04:07What the hell are you doing?
04:08Why do you have a nun's signature?
04:10None of your business.
04:13My past is my own.
04:15You were a nun?
04:16I told you that.
04:18You sure didn't.
04:19You said you were a nurse.
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was a nurse.
04:22I am a nurse.
04:23And a fucking nun.
04:24I've got a headache.
04:25Please.
04:26Please.
04:27Just...
04:28Very fucking convenient.
04:29I'll be really in a bit, darling.
04:30Are you all right?
04:31She's fucking Grant.
04:32Aren't you?
04:33Sister.
04:38It's not a doll's house, Tufasa.
04:41This is my home.
04:45You come here,
04:46tearing through our lives,
04:48and for what?
04:50Some pale, limp retelling of a story
04:52that you will never understand.
04:57Now,
04:58why don't the three of you
04:59fuck off back to where you came from?
05:02Okay, maybe we all take a breath,
05:04just sit down around a nice plate of thick sausages.
05:07Breakfast is cancelled!
05:14We know Fiona was pregnant.
05:15Teddy, the boy she had a strong bond with,
05:17killed Malachy,
05:18only to go missing
05:19and then appeared three days later with a head injury.
05:21Found by a nun.
05:22Yeah, Sister McDonagh,
05:23who was babbling about boats, remember?
05:26Sister McDonagh, the nun.
05:27And Mrs. O'Shea.
05:28Was a nun.
05:29If the Sisters of Mercy are a nursing order,
05:31then O'Shea could have been a nurse
05:32and a nun at the same time.
05:33She seems connected.
05:34There's literally an island of nuns.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Everything does seem like it's pointing back
05:38to inner frontier.
05:39Lads, in this country,
05:40when a pregnant woman goes missing,
05:41the nuns are the equivalent
05:42of the fucking butler did it.
05:44But they're definitely hiding something.
05:46And O'Shea's in on it.
05:48I'll book three tickets for the first ferry.
05:51Today?
05:52What, that doesn't work for you?
05:55I'm meeting my wife.
05:56She flew in.
05:57I kind of have to see her today.
06:00Are you joking?
06:01We have a sonogram.
06:02We have a lead.
06:03This is your podcast, Gilbert.
06:05This is what's important.
06:06You have all night to shag your fucking wife.
06:08I need to see her.
06:09All right?
06:10Talk to her.
06:11And then I'll just follow you out.
06:13Maybe we should wait for you.
06:14No, absolutely not.
06:15We leave immediately.
06:16If you're worried about the timing issue
06:18with the extradition...
06:20What extradition?
06:25You know what you are, Gilbert?
06:27You're a fucking buffoon.
06:30A serious man will put his work first.
06:34Be quick, Gilbert.
06:35I can't take her on my own for long.
06:45Fuck.
07:16What the fuck happened to you?
07:18Some cunt set fire to me boat.
07:20With me in it.
07:21Jesus Christ.
07:22Have you seen any strange fellas around town?
07:25Huh?
07:26Northern accents?
07:27No.
07:28Fuck.
07:30Anyone comes asking for me, you don't know me.
07:33What's going on?
07:34Some old friends have found me.
07:39I have to leave town.
07:41Leave?
07:42What, like leave the town?
07:43Leave?
07:44What, like leave, leave?
07:45Who's after you?
07:46The fuck are my cartels?
07:47I've got some grabbyes hidden about the place.
07:49I'll talk to Pablo and Hector.
07:51Think I can get the deal back on track?
07:53You, get them deals tonight.
07:56And then...
07:58I'm gone.
08:00Awesome.
08:01So all this, I can just...
08:03I can just have it?
08:04Hey, did you cancel them Yakuza?
08:07That's what I was thinking about that.
08:08There are offers way better than the Spanish lads.
08:10Why don't we just...
08:11I don't need your fucking cost analysis.
08:13Did you tell them to fuck off or not?
08:16Yeah, yeah, did you?
08:18Good.
08:22Fuck.
08:28We just need to slow them down.
08:31Give us time to think.
08:37I'll call you back.
08:42I have orders here to detain Devasse Maloney.
08:45Top secret orders, like if you catch my drift.
08:50Do you now?
08:57I just think I should have been told about the exodus.
08:59It's none of your business.
09:00Of course it's my business.
09:01There might be all sorts of ethical concerns if you get arrested while we're...
09:03If I get cursed and off to jail,
09:05you'll just move on to whatever new gig needs a dog's body.
09:08Never have to think of me again. You'll be grand.
09:10Ladies.
09:12How lovely to see you.
09:13We're here to see Sister McDonagh.
09:15I'm afraid Sister McDonagh has taken a turn for the worse.
09:19Don't even start, Bernadette.
09:20We're seeing her and if you try to stop us, I'll...
09:22Why don't I have Sister Clodagh see if she's up and about?
09:25Thank you.
09:26Of course.
09:28Why don't we wait in my office? It's more comfortable.
09:41SISTER CLODAGH
09:52Sister Clodagh is rousing her, wonderful nurse,
09:56if a tad rough.
10:00McDonagh will be glad of our Lord's more gentle embrace.
10:06Bit of cork-a-millish?
10:08Cake. That means cake.
10:10Ah.
10:13Sorry, I ran out of lives on Duolingo.
10:16You have to wait for them to recharge.
10:19One should hope so.
10:27Oh, none for me, thanks.
10:29Cork-a-millish-size...
10:31..fucking...
10:33..tyrum.
10:35Mmm.
10:37I didn't get much sleep last night.
10:43It reminds me of...
10:45..the...
10:46..the...
10:48..the farm...
10:49..in Ban Realtagh.
10:52A land without a tongue is a land without a name.
11:03Gilbert?
11:05Oh, hey, Amber.
11:07Oh, my God, you look great.
11:09Thanks.
11:11Yeah, I took a walk around the bay,
11:13had something called a breakfast bath.
11:15It's crazy seeing you right now.
11:17In Bodkin, Ireland, the Emerald Isle.
11:20Is everything OK? You seem a bit manic.
11:23Honestly, everything's...
11:26..grand.
11:28Did you know, Fiona,
11:30the girl who went missing?
11:32No.
11:33I'd say you've seen the inside
11:35of many a mother's superior's office, hmm?
11:39You're the first to offer tea.
11:41Ah.
11:43I'm sure she's fed you a tragic origin story.
11:47The nuns, the nuns.
11:49God help us and save us,
11:51the things they did to me.
11:55I think growing up in a boarding school would be tough for anyone.
11:58It wasn't a boarding school.
12:00It was a convent.
12:01And they didn't have to take her in, but they did.
12:04That's not what happened.
12:06And you know how she repaid them?
12:08She set fire to their chapel.
12:10That's not what happened.
12:12After they housed her, fed her and cleaned her.
12:15That's not what happened.
12:17Difficult thing to tag on to the end of a sob story.
12:21I want to see Sister McDonagh. Now.
12:24She's getting ready, I told you.
12:26KNOCK AT DOOR
12:28Come in.
12:30Sorry, Mother, you're needed downstairs.
12:32Ah, thank you.
12:34Excuse me, ladies.
12:55Of course.
12:57Never trust a fucking nun.
13:07Half.
13:08Half.
13:11What the fuck? Are you joking?
13:13Half.
13:14But it needs to be done tonight.
13:16Are you good with that?
13:19Yeah.
13:20Then it's a deal.
13:26Meet you at the warehouse.
13:28We'll be ready.
13:31Grabbing his ankles.
13:33Listen, Sean here will be your point of contact in the future.
13:36Until he inevitably fucks it up, of course.
13:42Dove.
13:46Dove, relax, OK? I don't think anything insidious is going on.
13:49She locked us in. Yeah, I'd lock you in too.
13:52She's stolen.
13:55Probably destroying evidence as we speak.
14:05Let's go find McDonagh.
14:12Ireland, oh, you're going to love it. It's just, it's so energising.
14:15I mean, everyone's so lovely.
14:17Gilbert, this isn't how I wanted to do this.
14:21But enough is enough.
14:24I need you to sign the divorce papers.
14:30You can't keep avoiding this.
14:32It's time.
14:37No.
14:38Hey, watch.
14:50SHE SNORES
14:52SHE SNORES
15:16That's a lovely memory, sister.
15:18Thank you for sharing that.
15:23Sorry.
15:26I must have nodded off there.
15:29You were just telling me a wonderful story about Fiona.
15:33Sister Fiona?
15:35No, she came here about 20 years ago.
15:38A pregnant woman.
15:40I was telling you about her.
15:42Yeah, you were.
15:44You were just about to tell me what happened to her.
15:46Where did she go?
15:48She's still here, pet.
15:51So what do you mean, she's still here?
15:53She'd watch over me as I worked.
15:58She was Sister...
16:02..Dominica.
16:04A good name, don't you think?
16:06We'd work the hives together, just the two of us.
16:10Sister Dominica is Fiona.
16:13Has she been hiding here all this time?
16:15Bees will work to protect the Queen, you know.
16:18Sacrifice themselves.
16:20Anything to protect her.
16:23It's all about the Queen.
16:25It's all about the Queen.
16:28MUSIC PLAYS
16:50Marne 2, free score.
16:57Fiona's alive. She's on the island.
16:59We're looking for a Sister Dominica, a beekeeper.
17:01Dominica?
17:02Nun name. They all take a nun name.
17:04Well, technical time is over.
17:06By the way, Bernadette's definitely lying to us.
17:08There's no way McDonagh's on her last legs.
17:10She's grand.
17:18I'll do anything.
17:20No, what... Seriously.
17:22Whatever you need to save our marriage, please.
17:24Whatever you want, I'll do it.
17:26Anything.
17:27Can you change the past?
17:29All I did was tell a story.
17:31It wasn't your story.
17:33There are Reddit pages about me.
17:35Fucking fan theories.
17:37Yeah, because our story touched the world.
17:40I mean, our story helped people.
17:42It didn't help me.
17:44It exposed me.
17:47I hired a forensic accountant.
17:49I know that you're hemorrhaging money, and...
17:51Yeah, but this podcast is gonna put us back in the black.
17:54For a man who spends his life listening, there is a lot you just don't hear.
17:58If I had to pinpoint exactly what it is you like about podcasting,
18:02I'd say it's recording those fluffy intro ramblings
18:05before every fucking episode where everything is still hypothetical,
18:08still abstract, still the Gilbert Show.
18:11Okay, but you're making me sound like a buffoon.
18:17Things have changed, Gilbert.
18:19We've changed.
18:21I can't fix everything in the edit.
18:26Please sign.
18:31Please.
18:34For me.
18:51Oh, my God.
19:02I'll ask if anyone's seen Fiona slash Dominika.
19:06Oh, I don't know.
19:08I think it's just a...
19:11I think it's gonna be too long.
19:17Oh, my God!
19:22Oh, my God.
19:25Mum?
19:27Hey!
19:30Mum?
19:32Wait!
19:38Hey, stop!
19:41Mum?
19:45Hey, wait!
19:52Oh, my God.
20:08One, two, three.
20:13Get the fuck out of here!
20:17Apparently, Sister Dominika's down at the common stays bar,
20:19which is something I never thought I'd say.
20:22Dove?
20:26Yeah, erm, yeah, fine.
20:50MUSIC PLAYS
21:04You've got to be fucking kidding me.
21:09They're just bodies, Emi.
21:11Lots and lots of human bodies.
21:20Come on.
21:31Fuck you.
21:35Sister Dominika, we just missed her.
21:38She went back to the AFRA.
21:40Oh, my God, thank you.
21:42Dove?
21:44Dove?
21:50Mum!
21:54No, get stopped!
21:56No, get off!
22:00Help!
22:02Mum!
22:05Fuck.
22:18Mum!
22:35Mum!
22:40Dove?
22:42What is wrong with you?
22:44Look. Oh, fuck, Emi.
22:46It's the tea.
22:48Sister Bernadette, she put something in the tea.
22:50She fucking dosed me.
22:52Emi, I'm tripping.
22:54Come on, Dove, they're nuns. They didn't dose you with psychedelics.
22:57Come on.
23:04My work is all about truth.
23:07Peeling away layers of opinion and story.
23:10Fuck.
23:12Gilbert show?
23:14Fuck that.
23:16No, no, no.
23:18No, I need to rest.
23:20OK.
23:22OK.
23:24OK.
23:34OK.
23:40Warren Dove, we scorn.
24:00Mum!
24:02Mum!
24:04Where's my mum? I just saw her.
24:06Yes, she was just here.
24:09She wanted to check in on you.
24:11Make sure you're OK.
24:13She's better?
24:15Oh, yes.
24:17But didn't she want to see me?
24:19I think, um...
24:21When's she taking me home?
24:24I'm sure she'll come for you soon.
24:33SHE GASPS
24:50Oh, um...
24:52OK, how about you wait here
24:55and I'll find Dominika?
24:57No. No, please.
25:00Please, Amy, don't.
25:04Please, don't leave me.
25:07Amy.
25:14Amy!
25:31Holy shit.
25:45You know your nun dosing theory?
25:53Hey, just got here.
25:55Gilbert, bad nuns.
25:57I repeat, bad nuns.
25:59They're dosed up with mushrooms.
26:01I think they're dosing everyone.
26:03Don't drink the tea, Gilbert.
26:04Slow down. What are you talking about?
26:06Where are you?
26:07We're on our way to the apiary.
26:08Meet us there. We need you.
26:09But don't drink the tea.
26:13What the hell is an apiary?
26:18You don't know yet.
26:20Just tell me what happened.
26:21There's nothing to see.
26:23Come on.
26:29Come on.
26:40Please, Amy. Come on.
26:41I can't go in there. Come on.
26:43No. No, Amy.
26:45I'm sorry. Don't leave me.
26:46Don't let me go in there.
26:47Jesus, Dom.
26:48No, Amy, you don't understand.
26:49It'll be all right.
26:59Mom?
27:05Mom?
27:29Mom?
27:35What is wrong with you?
27:37You selfish, stupid bitch.
27:41I'm sorry.
27:59I'm sorry.
28:01I'm sorry.
28:03I'm sorry.
28:09Are you Sister Dominica?
28:11Mm-hmm.
28:12You're not Fiona.
28:14Who's Fiona?
28:17Great.
28:20Don't you just tell me what happened?
28:22I know something happened.
28:23Teddy, you need to calm down.
28:26I know you know something.
28:28I can't help you, Teddy.
28:30I know you know what it is.
28:32Why don't you just help me get you up, please?
28:39I know something happened.
28:40I know you know what it is.
28:42I can't help you.
28:44I know you know what it is.
28:46I know you know what it is.
28:48I know something happened on this island.
28:49I know you know something.
28:51I don't.
28:53Liar.
28:58I know you lied about being in Dublin the night of Samhain.
29:03And I know Fiona was pregnant.
29:10I, um...
29:12I-I ran out of Dad's house to find Fiona.
29:16I-I saw you down on the pier.
29:22Fiona asked me to sail her to Wales.
29:25But you didn't get there, did you?
29:36How did Teddy get hurt?
29:42Maeve, how did Teddy get hurt?
29:47We were loading up and he just came out of nowhere.
29:52I thought you were shaming us coming after Fiona.
29:59I lumped you with an oar.
30:05So you brought him here.
30:07Because you knew there was a nurse.
30:10Mrs. O'Shea.
30:12It was quicker than going to the hospital.
30:14What happened, Fiona?
30:26You were here when Teddy was young.
30:28He was a golden boy.
30:31Smart, outgoing.
30:34Could have done anything.
30:38You destroyed that.
30:41It was an accident.
30:49What happened to Fiona?
30:54Tell us, Maeve.
30:56Tell us what happened to Fiona.
31:04Okay?
31:06Thanks.
31:11Sorry.
31:17That was a waste of time.
31:19Were you high when you were talking to Sister McDonagh?
31:22I think so.
31:25She was an angel for a bit and...
31:28there was a bee in her bed.
31:30What exactly did she say?
31:32Why did you think Fiona still lived on the island?
31:35She said Fiona used to watch over her.
31:38Well, she tended to bees.
31:55Dove.
32:01There's no name, no date, just...
32:04What's that word?
32:06Moher.
32:08It means mother.
32:10I...
32:12I don't understand.
32:16We sent you home,
32:18but Fiona was worried she'd missed her opportunity.
32:21Seamus was in town and on the warpath
32:23looking everywhere for her and Malachy.
32:25She stayed here.
32:27She was safe.
32:29And with Edna taking care of her and me running supplies,
32:33she had everything she needed to deliver the baby.
32:36What is going on here?
32:38What are you doing?
32:40This is a most egregious transgression.
32:43You have no right to come in here.
32:46Maeve.
32:49What happened to her?
32:51Not a word to anyone about this.
32:54You must promise.
33:00She was early.
33:02She was prepared, but...
33:05she died.
33:07She and the baby both?
33:1031st of May,
33:12the feast of the visitation,
33:14the day Our Lady went to visit her cousin Elizabeth,
33:17who was also pregnant.
33:20You don't get too many stories in the Gospels about just women.
33:25It is one of the most joyous feast days in our calendar.
33:33Oh! Dub! Dub!
33:35Shit! Dub!
33:37Sean's a fuckwit, I know, but you know...
33:39he's harmless.
33:41I'm sure he'll be here any minute now.
33:48What the fuck is that?
33:51Where's my eels?
33:54DOOR SLAMS SHUT
34:00Fucking Sean.
34:05I'll fucking kill him.
34:08He's a dead man!
34:12Fucking dead man!
34:18I was just smoking in the chapel.
34:21I didn't mean to burn the fucker down.
34:25But I also wasn't sorry about it.
34:29I can't absolve you, you know.
34:34My mother was an addict.
34:36She was ill.
34:38She left me at a convent.
34:41There are worse places.
34:43And then she got clean.
34:45Such a stupid expression.
34:48I saw her once.
34:50After.
34:52She came back to the convent.
34:55She didn't even want to see me.
35:00I thought she hated me.
35:04Maybe she hated herself.
35:07Maybe she was a woman of limited choices.
35:12Or maybe she was kind of an arsehole.
35:19You can only ask forgiveness for yourself, Dove.
35:24Maybe she loved you, maybe she didn't.
35:27Which story do you want to tell?
35:31One where I was good enough.
35:35Personally, I've always preferred confessing face-to-face.
35:40And what would a mother superior have to confess?
35:45Oh, Dove, the way it all played out,
35:47it lies heavy on my immortal soul.
35:52I buried a woman here on my own.
35:56I buried her.
35:58It lies heavy on my immortal soul.
36:02I buried a woman here on my island
36:06and demanded silence from my flock.
36:09Hardly the actions of the pure and the chaste.
36:12But I, too, had responsibilities to a story.
36:16I'll be honest, I thought you were going to ask forgiveness
36:19for fucking dousing me.
36:21Ha!
36:22And your poor penitence.
36:24I'm here searching for revelation.
36:28And we deliver.
36:30I have to believe that the ends justify the means
36:33and I'd assume that you're of like mind in that regard.
36:41Well, I'll leave you to catch up.
36:49Something's up.
36:51The grave just said she buried Fiona, only Fiona.
36:54And the grave just says mother.
36:56Catholics have some pretty famous ideas on babies in wombs.
36:59I googled the feast of visitation and it said that...
37:01Yeah, the dates don't match up with the sonogram.
37:03Burned S-line.
37:07Javassi Maloney, I'm placing you under arrest.
37:10I'm asking you not to come with me.
37:13Fucking nuns.
37:16Don't jump! Run! Run!
37:20Ah! God! God!
37:23Oh! Yeah!
37:25Ah! Oh!
37:28Fuck!
37:29Ends justify means.
37:31Something like that.
37:33Oh, fuck!
37:37Oh, my God!
37:40Ah!
37:41I told you I needed a go.
37:44We'll be back for him.
37:57Ah, come on, Lovine.
37:59They're waiting to take you back to the mainland.
38:03And you don't want to keep the Gardaí idling?
38:091997...
38:111998...
38:151999.
38:17Huh.
38:18Mrs O'Shea isn't in this one.
38:21The year she left.
38:23That was a traumatic year.
38:26A mother and her unborn child dying.
38:30Only the child didn't die, did he?
38:35Do you think I'm an idiot?
38:37Do you think I'm an idiot?
38:39Mrs O'Shea didn't leave the order and adopt a Romanian child.
38:43She left with Fiona's healthy baby.
38:46Sean.
38:48Sean is Fiona and Seamus' child.
38:55Jesus!
38:56Would you people ever just fuck off?
39:08It's grand, okay?
39:10Everything's grand.
39:11I promise.
39:12You'll hand it over tomorrow.
39:14Shouldn't be a problem.
39:16But just to clarify,
39:18Seamus will be there.
39:20Things have changed.
39:22I'm the man now.
39:34To see yourself.
39:36To know yourself.
39:38To speak your truth.
39:40Isn't that the prime currency of our modern world?
39:49Dove?
39:51Do you think that looks like me?
39:53The Irish know better than that.
39:56To see who you really are
39:58means something has to die.
40:01Because who can really live with themselves?