Trevor & The Virgin Full
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TVTranscript
00:00:00There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school.
00:00:15And here he is, standing outside my dorm room, naked.
00:00:21Out of the way!
00:00:24What are you doing?
00:00:26Look, I'll explain later, just please don't tell her that I'm here.
00:00:29Tell who?
00:00:30Trevor?
00:00:31Please, what's your name again?
00:00:32Martha.
00:00:33Trevor, where the hell are you?
00:00:34Please, Martha, she's psycho.
00:00:36She's psycho?
00:00:37You're literally hiding under my bed, naked.
00:00:39Look, I'll owe you one, okay?
00:00:41Just get rid of her and I'll do anything.
00:00:43Okay, just tuck in your head.
00:00:46Thank you.
00:00:47Where is he?
00:00:48Where's who?
00:00:49Trevor.
00:00:50I saw him running this way.
00:00:52Gosh, I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:55Trevor Holt?
00:00:57Ball player?
00:00:58Huge.
00:00:59No, doesn't ring any balls, I mean bells.
00:01:03You're lying.
00:01:04Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is, even girls like you.
00:01:10I haven't seen him.
00:01:13Also, you've got a little...
00:01:17I'm watching you.
00:01:24Granny panties?
00:01:25Seriously?
00:01:26How many of those boner killers do you own?
00:01:29None of your business.
00:01:31Cover up.
00:01:32No, thanks for handling that Tilla situation.
00:01:35She's become a bit of an issue.
00:01:37Why, did she ask for something, like commitment?
00:01:40No, actually, she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend.
00:01:43I don't like her like that and she doesn't get the hint.
00:01:45She jumped me in the shower.
00:01:47I'm sorry, I didn't...
00:01:48Anyway, what'll it be?
00:01:51Huh?
00:01:52I said I owed you one.
00:01:53I'm a man of my word.
00:01:59This is my chance.
00:02:01A favor from Trevor Holt.
00:02:02And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:05What can I do you for, Martha?
00:02:07Drew Longhorn!
00:02:09Drew Longhorn?
00:02:10Yeah, Drew Longhorn.
00:02:12What about Drew Longhorn?
00:02:13I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:17Sorry, why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn?
00:02:22He was my lab partner freshman year.
00:02:24We had chemistry.
00:02:27You had chemistry?
00:02:28Yes.
00:02:30Okay.
00:02:31You want his attention?
00:02:33Then we'll get his attention.
00:02:34But not in that.
00:02:36Guys like Drew, they only go for one kind of girl.
00:02:39And it's not...
00:02:40Forget it.
00:02:41Hey.
00:02:42No, let's just forget the whole thing.
00:02:43Hey, I'm an ass, okay?
00:02:45I just meant that this stuff doesn't play up your assets, you know?
00:02:49You're really pretty.
00:02:50You need to show it.
00:02:52You're messing with me.
00:02:53I'm not.
00:02:54I swear.
00:02:56You're just going to have to trust me.
00:03:00Okay.
00:03:01First, you show up at the party with me.
00:03:03Everyone's going to notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:05And second, we need to go shopping.
00:03:09Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four!
00:03:20Ta-da.
00:03:22Where did you get all this?
00:03:23It's my one-night stand box.
00:03:25Go on, take your pick.
00:03:27It's my one-night stand box.
00:03:29Go on, take your pick.
00:03:31No, thank you.
00:03:33I'm not parading around in your hook-up trophies.
00:03:37What?
00:03:38These aren't trophies.
00:03:39These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:42They're also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn.
00:03:45So...
00:03:48I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:51I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:56No.
00:03:57Come on, Martha.
00:03:58This stuff's hot.
00:04:00Come on.
00:04:02Just wear it.
00:04:03Trust me.
00:04:04I've worn it.
00:04:05I haven't worn it.
00:04:06I lied.
00:04:07I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts.
00:04:12Turn around.
00:04:14Are your eyes closed?
00:04:16Oh, yeah.
00:04:17Totally.
00:04:32Okay.
00:04:33Turn around.
00:04:38Wow.
00:04:40Tripper!
00:04:41What?
00:04:42What?
00:04:43It's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:44Just get dressed, please.
00:04:45As you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:47Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:54Oh, my God.
00:04:55Did I just tell Tripper Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:05:00No.
00:05:01I'm not doing this.
00:05:04Okay.
00:05:05I guess I'm doing this.
00:05:12All right, there's three things I need you to remember, okay?
00:05:14Three simple tricks to get any man's attention.
00:05:17You listening?
00:05:18Yep.
00:05:19Okay.
00:05:20One, eye contact.
00:05:22Not like that.
00:05:24And two, you need to know how to do it.
00:05:27Okay.
00:05:28Eye contact.
00:05:29Not like that.
00:05:31And two, you need to smile at him.
00:05:34Look, come on, this is serious.
00:05:36I'm very serious.
00:05:38All right, and three, find a casual way to touch him.
00:05:41You know, quick hand on the arm, you know, brush it on his bicep.
00:05:44You know, he'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:46Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:48Because this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here, okay?
00:05:52All he does is play games.
00:05:58You ready?
00:06:02Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:04Wow, that was really good.
00:06:07I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:09Oh.
00:06:11I spoke too soon.
00:06:13I got it.
00:06:14Thanks.
00:06:28Hey, everyone.
00:06:30This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:33He's kidding, everyone.
00:06:34We're just friends.
00:06:35Oh, Mar-Mar, stop being so coy.
00:06:37We're in love.
00:06:39What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:41Just trust me.
00:06:42If Drew thinks we're together, it'll pique his interest.
00:06:44Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:46It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone,
00:06:48especially if that someone is me.
00:06:50Who's going to believe this anyway?
00:06:52Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:55No.
00:06:56Guys like me don't like commitment, remember?
00:06:58Trev.
00:06:59What's up, man?
00:07:03I see you brought a friend.
00:07:05Yeah, this is, uh...
00:07:06You look familiar.
00:07:07Have we met?
00:07:08Yeah, we had chemistry.
00:07:10We had science class.
00:07:12We were lab partners.
00:07:14Oh, yeah.
00:07:15That class was such a joke, am I right?
00:07:18Yeah, definitely a total joke.
00:07:21But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second.
00:07:26Two seconds.
00:07:28Got him.
00:07:30What did you say your name was again?
00:07:32Her name's Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey, guys, we're playing a game of drink or dare in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:42Sure.
00:07:43Sweet.
00:07:44See you there.
00:07:48That was good, right?
00:07:50Have you played drink or dare before?
00:07:52Yeah, but how hard can it be?
00:07:54I got this.
00:08:02Conker, your girlfriend's here.
00:08:04So what?
00:08:05So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:08:07So? Just ignore her.
00:08:09My turn.
00:08:11Tila, drink or dare?
00:08:13I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:15Drink.
00:08:17I want you to drink with...
00:08:21Trevor.
00:08:22Okay.
00:08:24I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:26Drink.
00:08:28I want you to drink with...
00:08:32Trevor.
00:08:33Okay.
00:08:38Open up.
00:08:52What's in it?
00:08:56Yum.
00:08:58Okay, my turn.
00:09:00You, drink or dare?
00:09:03Dare.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:09I dare you to take off your panties and put them in the middle of the circle for the rest of the game.
00:09:15Hello? What are you waiting for?
00:09:18You don't have to do this.
00:09:20Yes, she does.
00:09:22Um, unfortunately, I can't do that, Tila.
00:09:26Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:32You're up next, Martha.
00:09:34Drew, drink or dare?
00:09:37Drink.
00:09:39I want you to drink with...
00:09:43I want you to drink with me.
00:09:46My pleasure.
00:09:48This is my chance to do what I've been dreaming about since freshman year.
00:10:13I should be happy.
00:10:24This is what I've always wanted.
00:10:27But...
00:10:29That was hot.
00:10:31Yeah.
00:10:32I hope I didn't make things weird between you two.
00:10:35No, it's fine.
00:10:37I always wondered what happened to you after that class.
00:10:40Never saw you around.
00:10:42I've seen Drew roughly 83 times since that class ended.
00:10:45Yeah, me too.
00:10:47I'd love to hang out sometime.
00:10:49Yeah, I'd like that.
00:10:50Great.
00:10:51Give me your number.
00:10:57I just sent you a special message.
00:10:59Let me know when you get it.
00:11:01Trev has my phone.
00:11:02I'll be right back.
00:11:08Okay.
00:11:09Who's next?
00:11:11Trevor?
00:11:17Trevor!
00:11:18Okay, sorry.
00:11:22Trevor!
00:11:34You win, Tilla James.
00:11:36You win.
00:11:41You win.
00:11:52You okay?
00:11:57I'm leaving.
00:11:58You can stay.
00:11:59I just need my phone.
00:12:01Okay, where's my cigarettes?
00:12:03I'll walk you home.
00:12:04Give them to me.
00:12:05No, you have to give them.
00:12:06I know that you have them.
00:12:09Your advice didn't work.
00:12:11Just so you know.
00:12:13It was probably for the best.
00:12:15You two never would have worked out.
00:12:17And why is that, Trevor?
00:12:19Is he too hot for me?
00:12:21Too popular?
00:12:23Or is it just pathetically obvious
00:12:25that I'm a frumpy nerd in a stolen sex dress?
00:12:28No.
00:12:30To all three.
00:12:32You want to know my three reasons?
00:12:33Not particularly.
00:12:35One, he's a douche.
00:12:37Two, you're not a douche.
00:12:39You're doing great so far.
00:12:41Three, you guys had zero chemistry.
00:12:43That kiss was a hot mess.
00:12:45And I can tell you weren't that into it, so...
00:12:51You're right.
00:12:54It was kind of terrible.
00:12:57Oh, but that look on Tilla's face
00:12:59when you told her you weren't wearing any panties.
00:13:01Oh, priceless.
00:13:03How do you do it?
00:13:06Do what?
00:13:08Hide your emotions.
00:13:10They're just so...
00:13:12easy to read.
00:13:14I noticed.
00:13:16I'm serious, Trevor.
00:13:18What's your secret?
00:13:20I want to learn how to not care
00:13:22about anything like you do.
00:13:24There is no secret.
00:13:27It's just who I am, right?
00:13:30Oh, and before I forget...
00:13:37Hello?
00:13:49Tonight wasn't what I expected, but...
00:13:52thank you.
00:13:54Oh, you don't have to thank me.
00:13:56I owed you one.
00:13:58I guess I missed that.
00:14:00No, I'm glad you knocked on my door.
00:14:03Oh, even after everything that happened tonight?
00:14:05Yeah, because...
00:14:07even though it was kind of awful,
00:14:09I got my first kiss.
00:14:12I'm gonna go.
00:14:15Good night, Trevor.
00:14:36That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:51And there it was.
00:14:53The thing I had been looking for.
00:14:56Chemistry.
00:14:58Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest...
00:15:01Chemistry.
00:15:03Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest...
00:15:05you-know-what on campus.
00:15:08And me.
00:15:10The virgin.
00:15:20Rumor has it that
00:15:22every girl on campus once drew Longhorn.
00:15:25Every girl...
00:15:27except me.
00:15:29Because after last week,
00:15:31I could not be more overdrew.
00:15:34Martha.
00:15:36Mind if I join you?
00:15:38So, where did you run off to
00:15:40after the party on Saturday?
00:15:42I had to go home to study.
00:15:45I have a big test coming up.
00:15:47What are you up to later?
00:15:49Probably more studying.
00:15:51Why?
00:15:53The wet party.
00:15:56The wet party?
00:15:58It's only the most exclusive frat party on campus.
00:16:02So of course I've never been invited.
00:16:05What about it?
00:16:07You in?
00:16:09I've never even wanted to go to a party like this before.
00:16:12But it could be the perfect way to get over.
00:16:15Wait.
00:16:16Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:18Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:19Hold?
00:16:20Nah.
00:16:21He's been ghosting me.
00:16:22Think he's out.
00:16:23Then I'm in.
00:16:24Excellent.
00:16:27Oh.
00:16:28And bring a friend.
00:16:30A female friend?
00:16:34What are those?
00:16:36Guess who just got us tickets to
00:16:38the wet party.
00:16:41Since when do you find frat parties fun?
00:16:44I just wanted to try something different.
00:16:46Like being drooled over by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags?
00:16:49Maybe.
00:16:51Does this have anything to do with Trevor Holt?
00:16:53No.
00:16:55Yes.
00:16:56Okay.
00:16:57I just keep playing the night over and over in my head
00:17:00trying to see what went wrong.
00:17:02I mean, things were going so well.
00:17:04We had chemistry.
00:17:12How could he just walk out on me after I asked him to?
00:17:16You know.
00:17:17Take your virginity.
00:17:19Shh.
00:17:20Don't say that word.
00:17:21What word?
00:17:22What word?
00:17:24Virginity.
00:17:25There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Mar.
00:17:28Tell that to Trevor.
00:17:29He hasn't talked to me since that night.
00:17:31Screw him.
00:17:32That guy's got a reputation for a reason.
00:17:34I'm just so used to achieving everything I set my mind to.
00:17:37I've gotten straight A's, scholarships.
00:17:39Why can't I get a guy?
00:17:41I don't think it works that way, Mar.
00:17:43You're right.
00:17:44And you know what?
00:17:45Forget this stupid party.
00:17:47I'd rather study anyway.
00:17:48Oh no.
00:17:49We're going to that party.
00:17:51We are?
00:17:52Yup.
00:17:53And forget these dumb books.
00:17:55All you need are Deb's three simple rules for getting over any guy.
00:17:58Deb's three simple rules?
00:18:00Shh.
00:18:07Step one.
00:18:08Dress to impress.
00:18:10Okay.
00:18:11But don't do it for any guy.
00:18:13Do it for you.
00:18:16Step one.
00:18:17Dress to impress.
00:18:18Check.
00:18:20Step two.
00:18:21Find someone new to flirt with.
00:18:23Basic prep, bro.
00:18:24Check.
00:18:25That's Drew Longhorn?
00:18:26He's cute.
00:18:28He's a chauvinist douchebag.
00:18:30You're what?
00:18:31Doesn't mean a girl can't look.
00:18:37Step three.
00:18:38To really get over a guy, you gotta put yourself out there.
00:18:41Show the world who Martha really is.
00:18:47Oh, what's wrong?
00:18:49I already did that, Deb.
00:18:51I put myself out there with Trevor.
00:18:53Showed him who I really am.
00:18:54And he rejected me.
00:18:55Yeah, but it's not...
00:18:56No.
00:18:58From now on, I'm a closed book.
00:19:02Great.
00:19:03This'll be fun.
00:19:19That's what I'm talking about.
00:19:39Trevor Holt.
00:19:41He wasn't supposed to be here.
00:19:44Trevor Holt.
00:19:46He wasn't supposed to be here.
00:19:48But now that he is...
00:19:50Martha!
00:19:52Glad you could make it.
00:19:54And you brought a friend.
00:19:56Drew Longhorn.
00:19:58In the flesh. And you are...
00:20:00Drew, this is my best friend,
00:20:02Deb.
00:20:04It's a pleasure, Debra.
00:20:06Oh my god.
00:20:08What are you doing here?
00:20:10Hello to you too, Trevor.
00:20:12They're here with me, Holt.
00:20:14None of your concern.
00:20:16Can we talk? Alone?
00:20:18I need a refill anyway.
00:20:22Debra? Care to join me?
00:20:24Bet you came here with Drew.
00:20:26Really?
00:20:28Why? Jealous?
00:20:30After the kiss last week? No.
00:20:32He's right.
00:20:34That was pretty much
00:20:36the worst kiss of all time.
00:20:38I just thought it would be fun.
00:20:40Martha, this party,
00:20:42these people, it's not your thing.
00:20:44Oh yeah? Well maybe you don't know me as well as you think.
00:20:46Please, you're an open book.
00:20:48That's what I like about you.
00:20:50Trevor!
00:20:52Up for a round of beer pong?
00:20:54Did someone say beer pong?
00:20:56Hello? No. Yes?
00:20:58Maybe I'm not such an open book
00:21:00after all.
00:21:02Can't we talk about what happened?
00:21:04There's nothing to talk about.
00:21:06Just give me a second to explain. You!
00:21:08Who let you into this party?
00:21:10Who let you into this college?
00:21:12Have you ever even played beer pong before?
00:21:14There's a first time for everything.
00:21:16Alright.
00:21:18It's two to a team.
00:21:20So who's it gonna be?
00:21:22The clueless nerd, or me?
00:21:24Her. Fine.
00:21:26Drew, you're on my team.
00:21:28Let's do this. Debra?
00:21:30Are you in? Oh, uh, no.
00:21:32I am gluten intolerant. I'll just watch.
00:21:34You sure?
00:21:36Positive.
00:21:38You know what? Let's up the stakes.
00:21:40What did you have in mind?
00:21:42What about strip beer pong?
00:21:44Sweet!
00:21:46Come on, Toa.
00:21:48I'm game.
00:21:50You don't even know how to play beer pong.
00:21:52What are the rules? Every time we sink a ball,
00:21:54one of you removes a piece of clothing.
00:21:56Oh, yeah.
00:21:58And vice versa.
00:22:00So if Trevor makes it,
00:22:02we strip. Seems easy enough.
00:22:04Come on, Holt. It's game time.
00:22:06Let's go.
00:22:08These first.
00:22:16Hold on.
00:22:18Your form is way off. May I?
00:22:34Okay, that's not even fair.
00:22:36I practically gave that one to her, Trev.
00:22:38You're not afraid of a little competition,
00:22:40are you, Toa? Oh, please.
00:22:42Ladies, ladies.
00:22:44Let me show you both
00:22:46how it's done.
00:22:52Uh-oh.
00:22:54Great job.
00:23:00My turn.
00:23:06All right, Trevor, you know the rules.
00:23:08You are so lame.
00:23:10You're up.
00:23:12Want another lesson?
00:23:14I think I can handle myself.
00:23:16I learn quick.
00:23:18Okay, I call BS.
00:23:20There's no way an amateur like her
00:23:22could have made that shot.
00:23:24It's called studying, Toa.
00:23:26Ever tried it?
00:23:28Game time.
00:23:32Your turn, nerd.
00:23:34Strip.
00:23:36You don't have to do this.
00:23:38Not for her.
00:23:40I know.
00:23:42I'm doing it for me.
00:23:48There. Happy?
00:23:50Trevor, it's your turn.
00:23:56I got it. I got it.
00:23:58Whatever.
00:24:00Can we talk now, please?
00:24:02I can't tell you why I...
00:24:04You can't seem to commit to anything?
00:24:06No.
00:24:08Don't care about anyone but yourself?
00:24:10No.
00:24:12Think I'm just some clueless nerd?
00:24:14I don't.
00:24:16Then why, Trevor?
00:24:18Why did you walk out on me?
00:24:20Why?
00:24:22I just didn't want to sleep with you.
00:24:24Woo!
00:24:26Found it.
00:24:28What'd I miss?
00:24:30That was so good.
00:24:34I guess I win.
00:24:38No, no, no, no, stop!
00:24:40You cannot leave. Not now.
00:24:42Didn't you see what happened back there?
00:24:44Now everybody knows that Trevor Holt,
00:24:46the guy with the one-night stand box,
00:24:48doesn't want to sleep with me.
00:24:50Oh, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor.
00:24:52Who cares, Mar?
00:24:54He told the entire school that he passed up
00:24:56the opportunity to sleep with you.
00:24:58The Martha I know
00:25:00doesn't give up, okay?
00:25:02The Martha I know succeeds at everything
00:25:04she sets her mind to.
00:25:06The Martha you know is also still into some guy
00:25:08who rejected her.
00:25:10I should hate him.
00:25:12But I don't.
00:25:14I can't.
00:25:16A part of me still wants to be with him,
00:25:18even after all that.
00:25:20This is serious, so hold my hand, okay?
00:25:22If Trevor
00:25:24can't see how amazing you are, Mar,
00:25:26then he doesn't deserve you.
00:25:28But I know there's someone out there who does.
00:25:30Okay?
00:25:32So just no, no, no, like that.
00:25:34Okay, great.
00:25:36Remember step three.
00:25:38You gotta keep putting yourself out there.
00:25:40Okay?
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:48Wait.
00:25:50I have an idea.
00:25:52Wait, where are you going?
00:25:54I'm putting myself out there.
00:25:56Yes! Here we go, girl!
00:26:00Okay, Martha, you can do this.
00:26:02Hey, everybody!
00:26:04Listen up!
00:26:08Wow, there's a lot of you.
00:26:10Okay, um, uh, well,
00:26:12my name is Martha, and
00:26:14as you may have heard,
00:26:16Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with me.
00:26:18But there's more to me
00:26:20than that. So here goes.
00:26:22Tilla James!
00:26:24You called me a
00:26:26clueless nerd, and you're right.
00:26:28I'm a huge nerd.
00:26:30I like to spend Saturday nights in my dorm room
00:26:32studying. I mean, last weekend
00:26:34was my first party. Can you believe that?
00:26:36I've been so busy studying
00:26:38that I think I've missed out on the important parts
00:26:40of college, like getting to know
00:26:42myself. I guess
00:26:44what I'm trying to say is
00:26:46I am
00:26:48clueless.
00:26:52Especially when it comes to love.
00:26:54I've never slept with anyone
00:26:56or dated anyone.
00:26:58But I don't care that
00:27:00I'm a virgin.
00:27:02Because when the time is right,
00:27:04it will happen, and it will be on my terms.
00:27:06And I don't
00:27:08care if somebody doesn't want to sleep with me
00:27:10or if somebody doesn't like me.
00:27:12Because I like me
00:27:14just the way I am.
00:27:22Putting myself out there?
00:27:24Check. I can't believe I just
00:27:26told everyone on campus that I'm a virgin.
00:27:28Yeah!
00:27:30Woo!
00:27:32Woo!
00:27:34Woo!
00:27:36Woo!
00:27:38Woo!
00:27:40Woo!
00:27:42Woo!
00:27:44Hi, I'm Trevor.
00:27:46Uh, some of you may know me
00:27:48as something of a...
00:27:50douche. I'll admit,
00:27:52I've been with a lot of girls, but
00:27:54that's only because before any of you
00:27:56knew me, back in high school,
00:27:58someone broke my heart.
00:28:00When I got to college,
00:28:02I slept my way around campus
00:28:04to prevent myself from getting hurt again.
00:28:06I even developed a bit of a reputation.
00:28:08And I was fine with that.
00:28:10But the other
00:28:12night,
00:28:14everything changed when I met
00:28:16Martha.
00:28:18Martha, you're not just another
00:28:20one-night stand. You're amazing,
00:28:22and I'm sorry I pushed you away.
00:28:24I just, I didn't want to sleep
00:28:26with you because I wanted your
00:28:28first time to be special.
00:28:30And this may sound stupid coming from me, but
00:28:32I didn't want to rush it.
00:28:34I really,
00:28:36really like you, Martha.
00:28:38And I know I don't deserve it, but if you just,
00:28:40if you give me one more chance, I...
00:28:42Yes!
00:28:44What's that?
00:28:46I'll give you one more chance, Trevor Holt.
00:29:08Drew Longhorn!
00:29:10I think you're funny,
00:29:12charming,
00:29:14secretly sweet, and hot!
00:29:16Like, so hot!
00:29:24Most of you already know me,
00:29:26but I'm Drew,
00:29:28and
00:29:30I really hate parties.
00:29:32Bro.
00:29:34Yeah, I always get nervous and wind up saying
00:29:36things I don't mean, making out
00:29:38with people I don't like.
00:29:40But today was different.
00:29:42Because today,
00:29:44I met someone I think I actually really do like.
00:29:46So maybe,
00:29:48I don't have to go to any more of these
00:29:50stupid parties.
00:29:52I do love drinking, though.
00:29:58Look, I know you guys think I'm
00:30:00like, really mean, or whatever,
00:30:02but that's just because I'm brutally
00:30:04honest, and if you don't like it,
00:30:06that's your problem.
00:30:12Woo!
00:30:14Yeah!
00:30:24So there it is.
00:30:26That's how Trevor Holt, the hottest
00:30:28guy in school, started
00:30:30dating me, the virgin.
00:30:32But,
00:30:34you'll just have to imagine the rest.
00:30:42I wonder
00:30:44if I look different
00:30:46now that I've...
00:31:04Hey, Dad!
00:31:06Oh my God, you did it, didn't you?
00:31:08Did what?
00:31:10Sex with Trevor Holt!
00:31:12Why would you say that?
00:31:14Oh my God, you're glowing!
00:31:16I won all the deeds.
00:31:18It happened. I'm not a virgin
00:31:20anymore!
00:31:24Where did you get that?
00:31:26I found it in Drew's closet this morning.
00:31:28What were you doing in Drew's closet
00:31:30this morning?
00:31:32Yeah, no, Mart, you're not changing the subject.
00:31:34So, how was it?
00:31:36It was nice.
00:31:38Yeah.
00:31:40It still smells like him, too.
00:31:42Oh my God,
00:31:44you're so in love!
00:31:46Oh, Deb, I have to hop on the study buddy Zoom.
00:31:48I'll call you later. Yeah, not a chance, Mart.
00:31:50You still have two minutes, so hurry up
00:31:52and dish the dirt.
00:31:54Fine. It was
00:31:56romantic.
00:31:58I mean, Trevor is an amazing
00:32:00kisser. He does this thing where he
00:32:02kissed along my jawline. Oh my God!
00:32:04Mart, two minutes off of the kissing
00:32:06was the good stuff. The kissing was the
00:32:08good stuff.
00:32:10What? The sex wasn't good?
00:32:12It was not the
00:32:14best.
00:32:16What way? Okay, so you know that
00:32:18rumor about Trevor, about his...
00:32:20Yes! God, yes.
00:32:22Sorry. Yes, I know. So it's
00:32:24true? And it was
00:32:26kind of
00:32:28uncomfortable? Yeah.
00:32:30Honestly, Mart, it's
00:32:32pretty uncomfortable for every girl
00:32:34no matter what their size. I've just been
00:32:36dreaming about this moment
00:32:38for as long as I can remember,
00:32:40and then it just happened.
00:32:42And it didn't
00:32:44feel great. I'm
00:32:46sorry, Mart. I wish they told us
00:32:48that. I wish I told you that!
00:32:50But I'm not
00:32:52lying when I say it does get better, though
00:32:54it just may never get better with Trevor.
00:32:56What do you mean?
00:32:58I mean, you gotta find the right match
00:33:00emotionally
00:33:02and physically, and then
00:33:04that's when things start getting real good.
00:33:06What if it
00:33:08wasn't good for him, either?
00:33:10I'm sure it was good for him.
00:33:12How do you know?
00:33:14He gave you his hat!
00:33:16Yeah, but he hasn't responded
00:33:18to any of my texts this morning.
00:33:20What if he woke up and he
00:33:22realized he's over me? Okay, first of all,
00:33:24he's probably still asleep, and secondly, I'm
00:33:26sending you an article on this. It is very sciency.
00:33:28I'm
00:33:30just gonna keep
00:33:32trying. That's what the article
00:33:34says! I'm gonna keep having
00:33:36sex with Trevor until we get it right.
00:33:38That's the spirit!
00:33:40Oh, Deb, I gotta go.
00:33:42I'm late for study buddies. Okay, call me later.
00:33:50Oh, my god.
00:33:52Seriously? You again?
00:33:54You're taking French 401?
00:33:56Yeah, Martha. I mean, who wouldn't
00:33:58want to take French porn? French what?
00:34:00French porn? The famous
00:34:02class on French cinema?
00:34:04I mean, it's all about
00:34:06hot French guys
00:34:08and threesomes. I think you're in the wrong
00:34:10class, Tila. This is an advanced
00:34:12history class on the French Revolution.
00:34:14Oh, my god.
00:34:16I can't believe I forgot that you're
00:34:18such a loser. Bye,
00:34:20Martha. Bye.
00:34:26Hi!
00:34:28I can see you!
00:34:30Hello?
00:34:36Hi! Can you see me?
00:34:38Hello?
00:34:40I can see you.
00:34:42Oh.
00:34:44Is this video?
00:34:46Yes, this is a Zoom call for French 401.
00:34:48The class about the French Revolution, not porn!
00:34:50Sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin at this.
00:34:52Sorry, what?
00:34:54It's my first time.
00:34:56Uh, okay.
00:34:58Using Zoom.
00:35:00Right, yes, of course.
00:35:02Mine too, actually. Virgin.
00:35:04Still a virgin.
00:35:06What's this you're saying about porn?
00:35:08I was just saying that this is not
00:35:10a class on French porn. It's a class on the history
00:35:12of the French Revolution.
00:35:14Yeah, I know. I'm a history major.
00:35:16What's your major?
00:35:18Chemistry.
00:35:20I'm Brett, by the way.
00:35:22Martha.
00:35:26Uh, we should
00:35:28probably get to studying, huh?
00:35:30Yeah. So, what are your thoughts
00:35:32about Napoleon?
00:35:34Do you really think
00:35:36he had a small... I told you, this isn't
00:35:38French porn!
00:35:40I was going to say
00:35:42army,
00:35:44but I can see your mind's on something else
00:35:46today. Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:35:48You're glowing. You know that?
00:35:53Do you need to grab that?
00:35:55Actually, uh, apparently
00:35:57it's pretty important, so I might.
00:35:59I'll call you right back.
00:36:01I'll be here waiting.
00:36:05What is so urgent?
00:36:08Mar?
00:36:11Trevor's dead.
00:36:23Phone rings
00:36:32Hey!
00:36:34How you doing today?
00:36:36Just another day without Trevor.
00:36:38Mar, it's time
00:36:40to take the hat off.
00:36:42I can't. It's all I have left of him.
00:36:44Yeah, it's been weeks.
00:36:46So, just take it off
00:36:48and wash it.
00:36:51I still can't believe it.
00:36:53There he was, just walking
00:36:55across the street, carrying his one-night
00:36:57sandbox, and then, bam!
00:36:59Hit by a bus.
00:37:01I thought it was a car. I think it was a bus.
00:37:03No, no, no. It was a car. A tiny car.
00:37:05Like a Fiat. I still don't know
00:37:07why he was carrying the one-night sandbox.
00:37:09I heard that when they found him,
00:37:11he had a pink thong on his face.
00:37:13Wonderful! The love
00:37:15of my life died wearing a thong
00:37:17on his face, and it wasn't even mine!
00:37:19It's like, I never knew love
00:37:21before Trevor,
00:37:23and now, I will never know love again!
00:37:25One sec.
00:37:29Where was I?
00:37:31Oh, yeah. Maybe I should just
00:37:33join a convent. Do they take nuns
00:37:35if you're almost a virgin?
00:37:37Okay. Mar, I love you.
00:37:39I do. But enough is enough.
00:37:41I cannot sit here
00:37:43and watch you hollow
00:37:45in despair, okay?
00:37:47Trevor, yes, he's dead, and yes,
00:37:49that's sad, but it is
00:37:51time to move on.
00:37:53I can't move on, Deb. I loved
00:37:55him! You knew him for one
00:37:57week. He has been dead for
00:37:59four. He has been dead for longer
00:38:01than you knew him.
00:38:03Sorry. That's harsh. It's
00:38:05just that Trevor would want
00:38:07you to be happy,
00:38:09and he would want you to find love.
00:38:11Yeah, maybe you're right.
00:38:13Hang on
00:38:15one more second.
00:38:17Ugh, it's Brett. He's
00:38:19going to be late for our study zoom. Again.
00:38:21Speaking of moving
00:38:23on...
00:38:25Oh, God. No way.
00:38:27Brett is not my choice. What?
00:38:29Of course he is! He's hot. And alive.
00:38:31He's also
00:38:33always late, would rather surf
00:38:35than study, and yet gets straight A's
00:38:37by practically sleeping through class.
00:38:39So you're just jealous because he's smarter than you?
00:38:41All I'm saying is that we
00:38:43don't have chemistry.
00:38:45Oh.
00:38:47What? Nothing!
00:38:49It's just... This is nice.
00:38:51I've missed you.
00:38:53And I've really missed not telling
00:38:55you about the 25 times I
00:38:57had sex with Drew Longhorn.
00:38:5925 times?! Oh, 26
00:39:01actually. Oh my God.
00:39:03So, how's
00:39:05the sex? Oh my God, it's
00:39:07amazing. Really?
00:39:09Remember when I told you that when you meet your match
00:39:11it gets really good? Well, he is
00:39:13my game, set, match.
00:39:15Tennis! What made
00:39:17the sex so good?
00:39:19Well, he takes direction
00:39:21very well. You give him direction?
00:39:23Of course! Yes! How else
00:39:25is a girl supposed to get what she needs?
00:39:27And girl, I got what I
00:39:29needed last night!
00:39:31Go off! You're blushing!
00:39:33What? No, no, no.
00:39:35But you should be. Why?!
00:39:37Sex is a beautiful thing!
00:39:39What did he do that
00:39:41made it so...
00:39:43good? Well, remember how
00:39:45you kissed him at the drink-or-dare party?
00:39:47Yeah, I remember.
00:39:49The night that Trevor
00:39:51pretended to be my boyfriend.
00:39:53Yeah, remember this, like, crazy tongue
00:39:55thing that he did and he licked your whole face off?
00:39:57Mm-hmm. Let's
00:39:59just say that works
00:40:01better elsewhere.
00:40:03That was the night that Trevor
00:40:05gave me my first real kiss.
00:40:07The night that forever changed
00:40:09my life. Oh my god!
00:40:11Martha, stop it!
00:40:13What? Am I just too sad for you?
00:40:15Yeah, actually. You're really
00:40:17sad, Martha, because you know what?
00:40:19I'm your best friend, and all we ever talk about is you.
00:40:21When was the last time we talked about me?
00:40:23Literally, just now.
00:40:25I have been sleeping with
00:40:27Drew for a month, and you just heard about it.
00:40:29Because all we ever talk about is
00:40:31Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor,
00:40:33Trevor, Trevor, Trevor. He's dead.
00:40:35Trevor Holt. I'm sorry that I'm trying to process
00:40:37the death of my boyfriend.
00:40:39He was not
00:40:41your boyfriend. He was just
00:40:43some guy that you lost your
00:40:45virginity to. You're being a bitch.
00:40:47Good. Bye!
00:40:57What do you want? Martha!
00:40:59Oh. Hi, Drew.
00:41:01What do you want? I was just calling
00:41:03to do a little undercover work.
00:41:05Yeah? You know, a little secret
00:41:07detective. Just tell me what you want, Drew.
00:41:09Okay, sorry.
00:41:11I was just wondering, what's Deb's favorite
00:41:13color? Oh, sorry.
00:41:15It's orange. Thanks.
00:41:17Sorry to bother you. Yeah, no problem.
00:41:19Sorry I snapped at you. I've just been having
00:41:21not a great
00:41:23day. That's Trev's hat, isn't it?
00:41:25Yeah.
00:41:27I miss him so much. I've
00:41:29never had a friend die before.
00:41:31Me neither.
00:41:33I gotta get something off my chest.
00:41:35What? Trevor's death
00:41:37was my fault. You were there?
00:41:39No, but he called me that morning.
00:41:41He told me that he was
00:41:43really serious about you and
00:41:45I didn't believe that he'd be serious
00:41:47until he
00:41:49got rid of the one night stand box.
00:41:51We were gonna burn the box together.
00:41:55He got hit when he was on his way over.
00:41:57Drew, that doesn't
00:41:59make it your fault.
00:42:01That doesn't make it your fault.
00:42:03Well, it feels like it. They say Trevor
00:42:05tried to get out of the way, but
00:42:07his ankle seized up and he
00:42:09couldn't move.
00:42:11Stupid old injury.
00:42:13Sorry, what injury?
00:42:15You know, Trev hurt his ankle
00:42:17during football. Really?
00:42:19Yes, and he hurt it again like three weeks before
00:42:21he died. You didn't know that? I didn't
00:42:23know him then. What?
00:42:25You guys were in love.
00:42:27We met the week before he died.
00:42:29What a whirlwind romance.
00:42:31Yeah, I guess you could say that.
00:42:33So, did you ever get to meet his twin sister?
00:42:35Trevor had a twin? Yeah.
00:42:37Taylor. Super hot.
00:42:39She goes to school here, too.
00:42:41I guess I didn't meet her.
00:42:43You know, I should probably introduce Deb to my family soon, too.
00:42:45Just in case.
00:42:47In case you die?
00:42:49I think we're ready to take the next step.
00:42:51To make it official.
00:42:53This is actually sweet.
00:42:55Yeah, I need to go buy her some orange flowers.
00:42:57Hey, Drew, what was
00:42:59Trevor's favorite color?
00:43:01The dude loved blue. You know he was almost going to go to
00:43:03Duke just because of school colors?
00:43:05He almost went to Duke? Yeah.
00:43:07I guess there's a lot you didn't know about him.
00:43:09I guess so. Anyways,
00:43:11thanks for the intel, Martha.
00:43:13Catch you later.
00:43:19Oh, study buddies!
00:43:23Hello?
00:43:25Hey!
00:43:27Wasn't sure if you were going to make it.
00:43:29Yeah, sorry. I'm late.
00:43:31No, don't apologize.
00:43:33I've been late a thousand times.
00:43:35It's something I'm working on.
00:43:37You okay?
00:43:39Yeah, Deb and I
00:43:41just got in a big fight about Trevor.
00:43:43Your ex-boyfriend who died?
00:43:45Yeah, and then Drew
00:43:47called me and told me that I didn't really know him.
00:43:49Wow, that's dickish.
00:43:51Well, he didn't actually
00:43:53say that, and anyway, he's
00:43:55right. How are you and Deb
00:43:57in a fight about someone who's dead?
00:43:59She thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on.
00:44:01Well, I think you should
00:44:03take as much time as you need.
00:44:05Someone once told me it takes half the
00:44:07amount of time you're in the relationship
00:44:09to get over them.
00:44:11So, it should have taken me three and a half days.
00:44:17You're not kidding.
00:44:21I only knew him for a week, and we were
00:44:23in a fight for, like, half of that.
00:44:25I'm so confused.
00:44:27And he wasn't even my real boyfriend!
00:44:29I mean, we had sex, so he wasn't, like, not my boyfriend.
00:44:31Why am I telling you all this?
00:44:33No, no, this is good, this is good.
00:44:35It's starting to make more sense now.
00:44:37What, that I'm a fool?
00:44:39No, that you're still processing.
00:44:41You know, it all happened so fast.
00:44:43Give yourself time. It'll heal.
00:44:45Thanks, Brett.
00:44:47Oh, it's Deb.
00:44:49Thanks, Deb. Do you mind if I answer this?
00:44:51Go for it. I'll just be here
00:44:53reading about Napoleon's small...
00:44:55army.
00:45:01Hey, Deb.
00:45:03Martha.
00:45:05Hey, Mar, I am so sorry.
00:45:07I owe you a huge apology.
00:45:09No, I do. You were just trying to help me.
00:45:11And you know what? You're right.
00:45:13I barely knew him. Did you know he almost went to Duke?
00:45:15Duke?
00:45:17Anyway, I'm really sorry
00:45:19for being a selfish friend, and I
00:45:21promise I will always be here
00:45:23to listen to stories about Drew's tongue game.
00:45:25I should not be listening to this.
00:45:27And I'm sorry too, Mar.
00:45:29Having sex for the first time is such
00:45:31a big deal, and then waking up
00:45:33the very next day and finding out that
00:45:35the guy you lost your virginity to is dead.
00:45:39Oh my god.
00:45:43Could you hear all of that?
00:45:45Yeah. No, yeah, yeah.
00:45:47I mean, I wasn't listening, but...
00:45:49How about you guys finish up your conversation
00:45:51and then we can pick this up?
00:45:53Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, bye.
00:45:55Oh my god!
00:46:03Hey, Deb, I really can't talk right now.
00:46:05Brett and I have a big project due tomorrow,
00:46:07and he's late with his part again.
00:46:11Deb? Deb, what's wrong?
00:46:15Oh my god,
00:46:17oh my god!
00:46:19You're pregnant?
00:46:21I don't even know how to hold it.
00:46:23I peed on it.
00:46:25I thought you guys used condoms.
00:46:27We use so many.
00:46:29We have so much sex
00:46:31and use so many.
00:46:33Well, they do say the effectiveness
00:46:35is only 98%, so this is
00:46:37a fascinating case study.
00:46:39Martha!
00:46:41Sorry, not being helpful.
00:46:43Are you going to keep it?
00:46:45I don't know. I have so many plans
00:46:47for my career, I don't think I'm ready
00:46:49to be a mom.
00:46:51Well, what did Drew say?
00:46:53He doesn't know.
00:46:55Deb, you have to tell him.
00:46:57I can't. He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:46:59He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:47:01Eek!
00:47:03He told me they're super traditional
00:47:05and they think Drew's a virgin
00:47:07and they're going to think that I corrupted their son.
00:47:09Okay, Deb, Drew loves you.
00:47:11He's supportive.
00:47:13And I'm sure his parents will come around too.
00:47:15Oh, that's him.
00:47:17What do I do?
00:47:19You tell the truth!
00:47:21Okay, I'll call you later.
00:47:23Okay, good luck.
00:47:27Well, hello, my beautiful lady.
00:47:29I require your assistance in selecting
00:47:31the appropriate attire for this evening.
00:47:33What do you think? Blue?
00:47:35Orange?
00:47:37Orange. It matches my dress.
00:47:39Is that new mascara you're wearing?
00:47:41You look smoldering.
00:47:43Um, Drew B,
00:47:45I have something that I need to tell you.
00:47:47Oh, I already know what you're going to say.
00:47:49You do?
00:47:51You're afraid my mom's going to make you eat cheese.
00:47:53Cheese?
00:47:55But don't worry, I already explained
00:47:57the whole veganism thing to her anyway.
00:47:59And she totally gets it now.
00:48:01She's making vegan meatloaf for dinner.
00:48:03I love vegan meatloaf!
00:48:05So, are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:48:07Because they are stoked
00:48:09to meet you.
00:48:11Are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:48:13Because they are stoked to meet you.
00:48:15They're not going to be very stoked
00:48:17about me.
00:48:19Are you kidding me?
00:48:21They're going to absolutely love you.
00:48:23This is the first time I'm ever bringing a girl over.
00:48:25Oh, no. Really?
00:48:27Yeah.
00:48:29Oh, my mom's going to absolutely adore you.
00:48:31Hey, you,
00:48:33my lady, are perfect.
00:48:35You can trust me, okay?
00:48:37I'll see you soon.
00:48:43How'd it go?
00:48:45I couldn't tell him.
00:48:47Deb, it's his baby. You have to tell him at some point.
00:48:49Nope. I just gotta make it
00:48:51through tonight.
00:48:53Because his parents are so excited to meet me
00:48:55and they won't be able to tell I'm pregnant
00:48:57because I'm just bloated.
00:48:59So, I will tell him
00:49:01when we get home.
00:49:03Oh, it's Brett.
00:49:05We gotta finish this assignment.
00:49:07You got this, Deb.
00:49:09Okay.
00:49:11Got this, got this,
00:49:13got this, got this.
00:49:15Got this, got this, got this.
00:49:33Ugh.
00:49:35I think I'm gonna puke more.
00:49:37Drinking on a Tuesday night, huh?
00:49:39Been there, done that.
00:49:41Oh, Tila.
00:49:43Sorry. I thought you were Martha.
00:49:45What? Ew. No.
00:49:47Hey, hey.
00:49:49Are you in the Longhorn's upstairs bathroom?
00:49:51Yes.
00:49:53I knew I recognized it.
00:49:55I puked there once during a ranger.
00:49:57So,
00:49:59is Drew having a party?
00:50:01Is Drew having a party?
00:50:03I'm at dinner with his parents.
00:50:05Oh, the food's that bad?
00:50:07No, I'm just not feeling very well.
00:50:09Anyway,
00:50:11what do you want?
00:50:13Well, that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy.
00:50:15Alright, listen.
00:50:17I need help on our French porn homework.
00:50:19Can we just talk later?
00:50:21You look different.
00:50:23What do you mean?
00:50:25You look different.
00:50:27What do you mean?
00:50:29Oh, my God.
00:50:31What? What?
00:50:33Are you pregnant?
00:50:35No! How can you tell?
00:50:37I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things.
00:50:39Oh, my God.
00:50:41Do you think his parents know?
00:50:43Oh, my God. You haven't told Drew yet, have you?
00:50:45Everything okay in there, babe?
00:50:47Yes.
00:50:49Fantastic.
00:50:51I am just changing my tampon.
00:50:53Well, my mom said
00:50:55that she wanted me to bring you some seltzer water.
00:50:57She thinks you look a little flushed.
00:50:59No.
00:51:01Was it the meatloaf?
00:51:03No, Drew B.
00:51:05I'm just taking a real big poop.
00:51:07You just go back
00:51:09into dinner and I'll see you
00:51:11in a minute.
00:51:13Okay. Let me know if you need anything.
00:51:15Will do.
00:51:17Oh, I know.
00:51:19She totally knows.
00:51:21Okay, Mrs. Longhorn is oblivious.
00:51:23She thinks all girls are angels.
00:51:25She even called me an angel one time
00:51:27after I threw up a liter of vodka
00:51:29in her bathroom.
00:51:31How do I get out of this?
00:51:33Just go back out there
00:51:35and tell them you were up late studying
00:51:37and you feel like shit.
00:51:39And then go home with Drew and fess up.
00:51:41Okay.
00:51:43Thank you, Dilla.
00:51:45That was weirdly helpful.
00:51:47No biggie.
00:51:49Are you mad at me, babe?
00:51:51No.
00:51:53Is it because I kissed Martha that one time?
00:51:55I didn't even know you back then.
00:51:57No.
00:51:59Did my parents say something that upset you?
00:52:01I ruined everything tonight.
00:52:03You didn't, babe.
00:52:05My mom loved you. She said that you're
00:52:07like an angel.
00:52:09If only they knew I corrupted their son.
00:52:11Babe,
00:52:13what are you talking about?
00:52:15Check my purse.
00:52:25What am I looking for?
00:52:33Oh, my God.
00:52:35I'm so sorry.
00:52:37Yeah!
00:52:39Woo!
00:52:41Oh, man.
00:52:43What?
00:52:45I thought you'd be devastated.
00:52:47What about your parents?
00:52:49Devastated?
00:52:51My mom loves babies.
00:52:53You know what this means, though, right?
00:53:01Deborah Davis,
00:53:03will you...
00:53:05Period!
00:53:07Period!
00:53:09Period! I have my period!
00:53:11Woo-hoo!
00:53:13Game set match!
00:53:25Hey, what's up?
00:53:27Guess what?
00:53:29What?
00:53:31I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't include books.
00:53:33Um, how is that
00:53:35studying?
00:53:37You'll see. First, I need you to turn off all of your lights.
00:53:39Uh, what?
00:53:41Just do it.
00:53:43Quick!
00:53:45And then
00:53:47turn on those little twinkly lights
00:53:49above your bed.
00:53:51Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to learn anything?
00:53:53Martha,
00:53:55a little trust, please.
00:53:57So are you going to tell me what we're doing, or...
00:53:59The History Channel is streaming in a
00:54:01polybiopic, which covers
00:54:03everything in our current chapter.
00:54:05Really?
00:54:07We're going to watch it together.
00:54:09That actually sounds fun.
00:54:11I'm going to send you the link.
00:54:13Ooh, I wish I had popcorn or something.
00:54:15Yeah, that would be nice.
00:54:17Alright, I'm going to start it.
00:54:23Oh, wait!
00:54:25Hold on one second.
00:54:27Weird!
00:54:29This takeout delivery guy just showed up
00:54:31and I didn't even order anything!
00:54:33I did.
00:54:35What?
00:54:37Yeah, I thought we'd get hungry,
00:54:39so I ordered us French food.
00:54:41Because of Napoleon.
00:54:43Uh, I'm sorry.
00:54:45Not to be a downer or anything,
00:54:47but this isn't studying.
00:54:49It's not supposed to be.
00:54:51Huh?
00:54:53It's not supposed to be.
00:54:55It's not supposed to be.
00:54:57Huh?
00:54:59It's a date, Martha.
00:55:01Hi?
00:55:03Oh, uh, sorry.
00:55:05I'm confused.
00:55:07I've been wanting to ask you out,
00:55:09but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet
00:55:11after Trevor,
00:55:13so I thought I'd act like it was a study thing
00:55:15and see how you felt at the end.
00:55:17That's actually really sweet.
00:55:19Brett, but this is
00:55:21not going to work!
00:55:23Why?
00:55:25Are you kidding me? We're study buddies!
00:55:27What's going to happen if this date doesn't go well
00:55:29and then things get awkward
00:55:31and we get a bad grade on the assignment
00:55:33and then I flunk out of class?
00:55:35Okay, if we weren't study buddies,
00:55:37then would you be interested in me?
00:55:39Well,
00:55:41yeah, I guess.
00:55:43Why are you blushing?
00:55:45I didn't say the word virgin.
00:55:47Brett!
00:55:49Look, my motto is to live in the now.
00:55:51Think about how this could get awkward in the future.
00:55:53It's pointless.
00:55:55Okay.
00:55:57And if it does get awkward,
00:55:59I'll still be glad I tried.
00:56:01That's a bad choice.
00:56:03I live my life from one awkward moment to the next
00:56:05and I do not recommend it.
00:56:07Well, you should.
00:56:09Tons of good things come out of scary conversations.
00:56:11Uh, such as?
00:56:13Such as going on a date with a girl you like.
00:56:15If you're not doing things that scare you,
00:56:17you're not living life.
00:56:21You know what?
00:56:23I guess you have a point.
00:56:25Alright, let's do this date.
00:56:27Excellent.
00:56:29Bon appetit.
00:56:33These reforms brought rejoicing to many.
00:56:35So,
00:56:37question.
00:56:39If you knew you were going to die in the next 30 days,
00:56:41how would you spend the next month?
00:56:43Well, this month I'm in the chem lab
00:56:45for like 30 hours and then...
00:56:47But you're going to die.
00:56:49Wait, why would you go to the chem lab?
00:56:51Because I'm mid-experiment.
00:56:53Martha, burn the planner.
00:56:55I like plans.
00:56:57I like to know what's going to happen next.
00:56:59Is this date putting you on edge?
00:57:01No.
00:57:03Are you having just a little bit of fun?
00:57:05Yes.
00:57:07But you don't know what I have planned next.
00:57:09Oh no.
00:57:11No, I'm not going to do anything crazy.
00:57:13I just think sometimes you're so worried about checking off boxes
00:57:15that you're going to miss out on what's happening right in front of you.
00:57:17You're an eat dessert first
00:57:19kind of person, aren't you?
00:57:21You know it.
00:57:23Okay.
00:57:25If I
00:57:27was going to die in 30 days,
00:57:29I'd go to the beach more.
00:57:31Amazing.
00:57:33I'd spend all my money on an expensive
00:57:35designer jacket.
00:57:37There you go.
00:57:39And I'd find someone to kiss.
00:57:41A lot.
00:57:43Me too. Kissing's the best.
00:57:45I know.
00:57:47What's your favorite place to be kissed?
00:57:49I guess I'd have to say
00:57:51my
00:57:53sharp edges.
00:57:55What does that mean?
00:57:57My jawline, collarbone,
00:57:59even my fingers.
00:58:01It kind of reminds me where I start and stop.
00:58:05This is embarrassing.
00:58:07No, I think it's sexy.
00:58:09What about you?
00:58:11Where in the world would you like to be kissed?
00:58:13In your apartment,
00:58:15or walking down the street.
00:58:17The ocean.
00:58:19Wow, that sounds dreamy.
00:58:21It is.
00:58:23Have you ever had sex on a beach?
00:58:25No, I'm kind of inexperienced, remember?
00:58:27Right, right.
00:58:29Well, don't is what I was going to say.
00:58:31You don't have to do that.
00:58:33No, no, it's not.
00:58:35It's saying it's in your butt crack. It's horrible.
00:58:37Yeah, when they do it in the movies, it looks horrible.
00:58:39Heh.
00:58:41Hey, I'm sorry.
00:58:43Yeah, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
00:58:45No, it's fine. It is what it is.
00:58:47You know it doesn't matter, right?
00:58:49Sure it does.
00:58:51Most people my age have had tons of sex.
00:58:53There you go, checking off those boxes.
00:58:55And that is also not true.
00:58:57My roommate is a virgin.
00:58:59Great, but I don't want to die
00:59:01only having had sex one time
00:59:03and only kissing two people. That's pathetic!
00:59:05What if you only kissed two people
00:59:07but one of them was your perfect match?
00:59:09Okay, you know what? Let's say you're right.
00:59:11What if I did only kiss two people
00:59:13and what if one of them was
00:59:15my perfect match?
00:59:17And now he's dead.
00:59:19No, I didn't...
00:59:21Yeah, you sure did. So yeah, I found my guy.
00:59:23We kissed, we had sex, it wasn't even that good.
00:59:25It never is the first time.
00:59:27Thanks, I've been told.
00:59:29And so now he's dead.
00:59:31And I can either have a thousand bad kisses
00:59:33or never kiss anyone again.
00:59:35If any of those kisses are anything like Drew Longhorn's
00:59:37I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:59:41Not even me?
00:59:43I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:59:47Not even me?
01:00:05You did this, didn't you?
01:00:07I have no idea what you're talking about.
01:00:09The guitarist?
01:00:11Outside my window?
01:00:13Oh come on, he has a sign that says
01:00:15For Martha.
01:00:17Okay, alright. I asked my roommate to play
01:00:19romantic French music
01:00:21but he insisted on playing Spanish guitar.
01:00:23That's really sweet.
01:00:25You know what? I tried.
01:00:27But failed.
01:00:29This has just been one complete disaster.
01:00:31No, it wasn't at all.
01:00:33Look, it's okay. We can end this now.
01:00:35I'll call my roommate and we'll be done with it.
01:00:37No, don't. Please.
01:00:39This is actually one of the best dates
01:00:41I've ever been on.
01:00:43No one's ever really planned a whole night like this
01:00:45just for me.
01:00:47Look, I realize that you haven't been on many dates
01:00:49and that is fine.
01:00:51But...
01:00:53crying in the middle of it?
01:00:55It's not a good sign.
01:00:57And look, I should never have
01:00:59pushed you so far out of your comfort zone.
01:01:01It's not okay.
01:01:05I'm so sorry, Brett.
01:01:07No, don't apologize.
01:01:09No, you planned
01:01:11the sweetest date ever
01:01:13and I brought up my dead boyfriend and cried.
01:01:15Hello, I'm Martha
01:01:17and I ruin everything.
01:01:19No, you didn't ruin anything.
01:01:21Because that would mean I don't like you anymore
01:01:23and I think
01:01:25I'm into you now more than ever.
01:01:27How is that even possible?
01:01:29Because you're incredibly real
01:01:31and I'm not trying to figure out
01:01:33what you're thinking because
01:01:35let's be honest, you say it out loud
01:01:37all the time.
01:01:39That's not a good thing.
01:01:41Well, I think it is.
01:01:45So...
01:01:47any other surprises?
01:01:49No.
01:01:51That was the last one.
01:01:53Then while our guitarist is on a break,
01:01:55I want to play you this new song I'm into.
01:01:57Okay, cool.
01:01:59But there's one condition.
01:02:01We have to dance.
01:02:03Like, in our rooms?
01:02:05Or you want me to come over?
01:02:07No, no, no. Stand up.
01:02:09Right here, right now.
01:02:11Dance with me.
01:02:23Wait, hang on.
01:02:25Oh!
01:02:49That was so much fun!
01:02:51Yeah.
01:02:53I haven't danced like that in a long time.
01:02:55Me neither.
01:02:57Hey, I had a really great time tonight.
01:02:59Like, really great.
01:03:01Yeah, yeah, me too.
01:03:03Martha?
01:03:04Yeah?
01:03:05I really hope you kiss more than two people in your lifetime.
01:03:07Oh yeah? How come?
01:03:09Because I plan on being number three.
01:03:13I'd like that.
01:03:15Alright, I'll talk to you soon.
01:03:23Hello?
01:03:27Hey, nerd.
01:03:29Why are you calling me?
01:03:31Well, I heard you and Brett are talking.
01:03:33Or whatever.
01:03:35And that is your business how?
01:03:37Well, there's something you should know.
01:03:39About Brett.
01:03:41What?
01:03:53What?