Breakup HD ( Comedy, Romance )
Breakup HD ( Comedy, Romance )
Transcript
00:00:00of you you've never seen before every step you take seems a milestone
00:00:10no more crying so maxine if i didn't tell me how your new living arrangements make you feel
00:00:20anything
00:00:23come on maxine this is our third session and you're still blocking
00:00:27you're gonna need to express yourself if we're gonna get anywhere tell me how you feel
00:00:36that's a girl good girl get out
00:00:43good yeah good girl next week we'll work on the issues you have with your mother
00:00:50do we ever figure out who that bitch is get out of here i'll see you next week good girl
00:01:01bobby it's cardis still waiting on the rent
00:01:05check if i don't get it by monday we're gonna have a problem
00:01:10if you're the only person i owed it wouldn't be a problem
00:01:21what's up
00:01:24how's the world of kooky canines making any money yet keeping the lights out
00:01:28barely although i think i had a break with maxine today you always were good with the
00:01:32bitches what's with the crowd tonight i think it's amazing every night's ladies
00:01:38night with bobby's around come on in good to have you guys man have a blast thanks man
00:01:50oh
00:01:58watch the master at work looking good ladies you know why you should always use these two
00:02:04fingers when you're masturbating why because they're mine nice but are you done i got three
00:02:13five i can make you go why i want to put you
00:02:15damn it how does that not work it's a compliment
00:02:21dude it ain't enough almost why don't you just ask to toss a salad on top of the bar
00:02:28okay let's move on from those girls and let's keep looking plenty more fish in the sea
00:02:37maybe maybe not
00:02:38guys this is sandy and this is jc and we used to work together girls this is pardon me girls
00:02:57this is zach and this is dutch i don't believe i've had the pleasure yet bobby so how are you
00:03:06gonna do it tomorrow night at sebastian's oh my god bobby she's so lucky i'm a lucky one
00:03:13hey did i mention that these guys are in my wedding party and they're looking for dates
00:03:17really yeah i'd do anything to go to your wedding anything uh well almost anything relax i was just
00:03:24gonna see if you clean my apartment do i look like a mexican to you you would if i gave you
00:03:30what's dirty sanchez let me show you i'll take you to the wedding
00:03:40so um you don't say much do you
00:03:48listen do you want to get out of here
00:03:52the same but when i'm in a different place i'ma switch the chain
00:04:01and my work here is
00:04:02to do i'ma break you out give you what you feel and i know what you need to break you out
00:04:16i'm sorry i'm late started without you
00:04:19thank you amy i don't think i have ever needed a drink so badly still no luck finding a job
00:04:25i just can't find anything i'm really good at i mean nothing that pays well
00:04:28hang in there something will pop in the meantime there are plenty of cute boys to distract you
00:04:37don't leave me boys honey i just want a quiet evening with my friends
00:04:41well it's too late himbo coming 12 o'clock
00:04:46stop me swerving i'm talking and the words are slurring
00:04:48change swing nigga pardon arm act up for 15 to bring you along i'm fresh
00:04:56the name's vance don't i know you i don't think so no i'm sure i know you
00:05:04you know what i think you're right i think i know you from work i knew it
00:05:10what do you want the std clinic don't you come in for the free herpes test
00:05:15you're the one we call peewee no i'm sorry i think i have you confused with someone else
00:05:22i don't think so no that teeny weenie is legendary you know what i have to take this oh no
00:05:32wow i think you found your calling something you are really good at thank you
00:05:41so how are things going oh some days are better than others i still cannot believe
00:05:49that scumbag richard cheated on you four different women oh in your bed
00:05:56at the same time okay can we change the subjects oh god and then he left you with
00:06:01the bill for the reception and just please yeah sorry more drinks more drinks drink up
00:06:08cheers cheers i say we do one shot for every girl he banged in my bed
00:06:15favorite girl
00:06:24i ever tell you how great it is to find a girl who doesn't wear panties
00:06:28i mean it's like opening a box of cracker jacks and finding a prize inside that's a brand new
00:06:32vagina how'd you make out zach it was a touchdown it was a touchdown yeah it must have been your uh
00:06:42your rape your wit huh girls don't like it when you talk with your mouth full
00:06:49touche see bobby you're the best wingman on the planet i mean you're so good we should be paying
00:06:55you i'm not gonna take your money why not you get us laid all the time and you don't even give a
00:07:01damn about your own johnson that's not true i just already have somebody who takes care of my
00:07:05johnson for me oh yeah yeah unless she's tired or she's got a headache or oprah's on tv i can't
00:07:13even believe you're doing this man believe it in less than 24 hours i'm gonna be the happiest man
00:07:18on earth yeah happiest man on earth who no longer owns his own penis well if you will wish me and
00:07:25my penis good luck good luck little fella
00:07:49hey girlfriend it's us the first time out after a breakup is always the hardest
00:07:55but you did it i hope you're doing okay just remember guys suck call us if you need anything
00:08:02love you
00:08:25thank you
00:08:35just let me go
00:08:55where are you going a funeral oh tonight's the big night remember
00:09:01oh yeah yeah popping the question
00:09:08so it is a funeral you nervous a little what if she says no uh
00:09:16dude you don't drink you don't smoke you don't gamble you're like a chick's wet dream
00:09:24wait wait wait do chicks have wet dreams i don't know but i've never really given
00:09:30myself i have i think about that all the time and guys have them so i mean chicks should too
00:09:40yeah especially if she's a squirter sure yeah okay well um wish me luck
00:09:51oh yeah go get her yeah get married
00:09:56so
00:10:16did i forget something no but hopefully this will be a night you'll never forget
00:10:23it's not your birthday is it you know and we do that once a year i know that but no this is
00:10:30something better
00:10:40tara we've been together for a long time and i've been in love with you since the day we met
00:10:47the day we met oh my god and i want to spend the rest of my life with you
00:10:55warm my soul
00:11:04tara owens will you marry me
00:11:11wow where's the ring i can't afford it yet but when i can i'm going to get you the most
00:11:19beautiful ring you have ever seen i don't know what to say say what's in your heart say what
00:11:27feels right then no that's what's in your heart no hobby i can't marry you why not
00:11:41you were on the phone with your mom i thought you knew i was going to propose
00:11:45i called her to tell her i was breaking up with you i wanted her advice on how to let you down
00:11:49easy that's some advice who's your mom satan she said to break it off quick the longer we draw it
00:11:57out the harder it would be for both of us well not so much for me more for you
00:12:03um thank you very much that's good for now um
00:12:14i don't believe this i mean when we first started dating i thought you were a doctor not a
00:12:20dog psychiatrist what is wrong with dog psychiatrists at least dogs know how to
00:12:26treat each other they sniff each other's butts yes they do and you owe like a million dollars
00:12:34in loans so you're poor yeah but i'm happy tara jesus i mean don't you love me of course i do
00:12:46but like a brother i need a man i need someone who can rock my world someone like
00:12:51vick who's vick are you babe you ready to go
00:12:58who is this this is vick the guy i was telling you about telling me about when two seconds ago
00:13:04well yeah i'm really sorry bobby i'm just gonna go you know i hate confrontation yeah i know about
00:13:10as much as you hate fellatio yeah what's that it's something that you should look up you'll
00:13:16thank me later
00:13:30hey man congratulations you're engaged that's awesome she said no
00:13:38hey man you're free that's awesome
00:13:43i asked the girl that i loved to spend the rest of her life with me
00:13:46and she left me for a guy named vick
00:13:51that's brutal what'd she say she said i was too nice she thinks of me like her brother
00:13:59oh wait a second uh you guys had sex right yeah well in her mind then
00:14:09she was having sex with her brother
00:14:16that's a good point that's pretty sick huh yeah i mean i fucked a cousin or two who hasn't but
00:14:25a brother or a sister new new it's good you're a big help
00:14:32and then again if my sister wasn't butt ugly
00:14:34huh never mind so uh do you want a drink maybe a quick smoke no thanks i think i'm just gonna
00:14:47sit here for a little while yeah okay but if you need anything i'll be right here
00:15:04so
00:15:16yeah so bobby really like what you've done with your hair
00:15:22keeping it real yo yeah you can see that real disgusting okay come on we're going to the club
00:15:30it's been three months okay you got to get back on that horse that's what i've been telling him
00:15:34man you got to get back on that horse you got to get back on that horse and ride it man
00:15:40ride that horse good guys i just got out of a long-term relationship okay do you even know
00:15:46what a relationship is of course i do okay when i was in ireland i met this east german girl she
00:15:51was beautiful i mean we talked we laughed she completed me wait wait wait wait hold up what
00:15:57east german girl whatever happened to her she completed me under that hay penny bridge
00:16:03i'm sweet that's a relationship to you of course it was the best three hours and four minutes of
00:16:09my life i envy you man thank you bud now come on one drink no one drink even if i wanted to
00:16:16i don't even have any money i don't even have enough money to pay this month's rent
00:16:20okay we'll pay your rent wait okay it's the least we can do after all the help he's given
00:16:25us picking up chicks hey whatever happened to sandy and jayceen i thought you guys really hit
00:16:30it off well it's like a dish of bobby if you're not the dog in the marriage then you can forget
00:16:36about it it's you're not to get in any yeah what he said and sandy's not exactly you know
00:16:42my dream girl either yeah well i'm sorry i don't know any librarians okay so i'd say you always
00:16:50so how about we go out and get a drink for old time's sake
00:16:53bobby bobby bobby bobby bobby bobby oh my thank you just to shut you guys man take a
00:17:03shower you smell like bud no offense bud none taken
00:17:08you can get nice thank you sweetheart there you go fellas so what's with the phones
00:17:24very et if by et you mean enormous talent you're right i was here a few days ago there's more ass
00:17:31in here than a geordash factory than a what so how does this thing work well each table has a
00:17:39number and rather than approaching each check cold you can call them and break the ice cool
00:17:44i'd rather talk on the phone than face to face yeah but here you don't have to pay by the minute
00:17:52so you can work your mojo and then you know go in for the kill go in for the kill
00:17:56you make it sound like we're hunting big game let's begin
00:18:01no way you guys want to pick up girls you talk on the phone
00:18:04come on time to get your groove back hello no hi what's your name bobby what's yours chris
00:18:14i think you're pretty cute really what table you had i'd rather not say i'm shy
00:18:23but i think we have a lot in common yeah what's that well like we both have a penis
00:18:34who was it wrong number i'm not ready for this i'm gonna go home oh
00:18:40you promised us one drink that's right shots all the way around there you go oh my god
00:18:52oh to the woman on the phone whoever she is
00:19:01oh that's awful
00:19:04feel better nope at least i'm feeling a little drunk no that's good well to truly feel better
00:19:10though you need to go out there and bang as many chicks as possible why would that make me feel
00:19:16better that's not me you're right that that's me so what you need to do is help us bang as many
00:19:22chicks as possible and why is that transference transfer yeah see what you can't do you have
00:19:29somebody else do for you so this is all about helping me of course mostly all right to be
00:19:37honest it's it's for us okay we haven't gotten laid once since you've been on the sidelines
00:19:42you serious show them show them zach calluses and don't even get me started on my carpal tunnel
00:19:51guys come on how is this possible zach you are a lovable teddy bear and you you're one of the
00:19:57funniest guys around yeah to you maybe everybody else thinks i'm an asshole no they don't yes they
00:20:03do thank you zach guys you just you gotta be yourself that's what this game is all about
00:20:10now look why don't you there those two girls over there
00:20:14go talk to them what about the phone
00:20:22all right i get the blonde hold on i love blocks so what i saw her first and you're rotund okay
00:20:30you're gonna pay for that one
00:20:31yes
00:20:34hey ladies mind if we buy you another drink
00:20:38i was just telling zach on the way over that it's been a while since we've seen two
00:20:42beautiful women like yourselves even in our line of work and what do you do i'm a producer
00:20:49oh really yeah he's a sperm producer
00:20:54i am all alone just excuse us for a second hey zach come here
00:21:02what are you doing yeah that was for that rotund remark you know i gotta eat you know my blood
00:21:07sugar okay okay okay all right i get it all right i deserve that but guess what neither one of us is
00:21:13gonna get what we want if you keep doing what you're doing all right so you're gonna have to
00:21:17follow my lead all right big guy guy whatever small guy all right thank you so how about that
00:21:25drink i've got this hi hi can i help you um well i was just gonna see if i could buy you and your
00:21:34friends a drink why do we have the words please fuck me tattooed on our foreheads
00:21:40well maybe not on your foreheads but um sure there's a nice tramp stamp back there somewhere
00:21:45is it too much to ask to go out for a simple drink without being hit on by a couple of sad
00:21:51sack romeos look we just want to buy your body i buy you a drink sure one drink and then that
00:21:59will lead to two and before we know it if we are lucky girls we'll end up flat on our backs for the
00:22:04best two minutes of our lives right i see my reputation precedes me why don't you go and take
00:22:10and take your tiny throbbing libidos and let us enjoy ourselves alone
00:22:19oh i get it you're lesbians definitely lesbians
00:22:28so how'd it go
00:22:30oh you guys are pathetic
00:22:44hi there my friends and i were wondering if we could come and join you at your table
00:22:50yes great we'll be right over let's go
00:22:54oh you're coming zach you think they'd deliver a pizza on this thing he'll be fine
00:23:07hello my name's bobby this is my friend dutch i'm connie want to sit down yes i do
00:23:15so what brings you girls out tonight rhoda broke up with her boyfriend he cheated on me
00:23:21so i stole his hunting knife and slashed his fucking tires crazy huh
00:23:27actually that sounds sexy just remind me not to let you near the porsche
00:23:33you have a porsche no i don't have a porsche dutch does but he lets me borrow it sometimes
00:23:38that's so sweet i know peanut butter feather dusters my place now dude i'm out what she said
00:23:47something about peanut butter and feather dusters and i'm not allergic to either so
00:23:50have a drink on me and enjoy the rest of your night
00:24:00oh they hit it off pretty quick
00:24:04yeah she probably mentioned the peanut butter or the feather dusters she's kind of a whore
00:24:13you don't say
00:24:17her pants are easier to get into than a caribbean medical school
00:24:23oh i get it now honey sounds like they're a perfect match
00:24:36you have very piercing eyes
00:24:47oh my god this has been so much fun well it is amazing how much fun you can have when you're
00:24:52not being hit on by every asshole in the place it's 300 yep with every penny thank you ladies
00:25:00oh and here are a couple cards please tell your friends spread the word
00:25:07girls just want to have fun thank you so much my pleasure
00:25:10mwah
00:25:18hey yo yo mommy so how'd we do oh we killed it they loved it yep oh cheers to that
00:25:35i had a great time tonight do you want my number your number you know what i better
00:25:40not get your number because if i do get your number and i don't call you then you're gonna
00:25:43get pissed and hate me well yeah well that's the problem see because you're special and who
00:25:50else would have the the guts to tell a complete stranger that she slashed her ex's tires with a
00:25:55hunting knife right nobody exactly you are a keeper all right that's why i don't want to
00:26:02mess this up if we're meant to be fate is gonna bring us back together
00:26:11that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me well it's true
00:26:21good night
00:26:22oh my goodness excuse me i am so sorry it's okay
00:26:34are you okay oh i'm fine good um
00:26:43have a pleasant evening
00:26:53you
00:26:57hey bobby what could you have possibly said to rhoda last night nothing why nothing i don't
00:27:04know what you did but she called connie at her place last night and i owe you man for what for
00:27:11because of you i know now what it feels like to get a pop rocks blow job
00:27:16oh yeah man happy to help chicks love you man and and because i'm friends with you
00:27:26they mistakenly think that i'm a good guy too i'm sure the porsche didn't hurt oh yeah genius
00:27:32by the way and because of that we owe you rent as promised oh hell no i didn't even get none
00:27:38he's helped you out plenty of times i think you owe him hey uh guys i don't feel right about taking
00:27:44your money don't even think about it okay you're so good at this that you could make a fortune
00:27:51doing it doing what being a professional wingman you know what you do it all the time anyways you
00:27:57might as well get paid for it yeah i don't know that's a little weird isn't it why not okay hey
00:28:07just think about it okay just let it simmer i'm not gonna think about
00:28:18parker come on let's go out
00:28:23parker
00:28:29what's the matter boy
00:28:30boy don't worry we'll figure this out
00:28:40gave up some mail anything besides bills
00:28:47oh the new pooches
00:28:52yes
00:28:53yes
00:28:57hi i'm looking for the dog psychiatrist hey you look familiar didn't we run into each other last
00:29:05night outside the dialed in was that you yeah i was sorry about that by the way i was getting
00:29:11away from a sticky situation i completely understand um look i was hoping to get in to
00:29:16see the doctor my dog's been really anxious lately yeah he seems a little a little anxious
00:29:23yeah honestly i feel silly taking him to a shrink i mean most of these guys are just shysters trying
00:29:29to take money from lonely pet owners yeah a bunch of bloodsuckers i know right oh but he's been this
00:29:35way for a while okay well take him around back see what i can do oh thank you come on come on
00:29:42becker
00:29:52hey hi so what seems to be the problem uh shouldn't we wait for the doctor
00:30:01actually i am the doctor dr robert tompkins you can call me bobby i am so sorry about the
00:30:11shyster thing it's all fine it happens all the time um so what what's uh going on with
00:30:21with parker hey parker how you doing bud
00:30:28you know it's good to see a real dog in here not like one of those pocketbook pooches
00:30:32those shits have more issues than 10 former child stars combined and you can tell that how
00:30:38you just got to know how to listen these guys have a lot to say
00:30:44hey did you break up with your boyfriend
00:30:49well i don't see how that's any of your business it's not a personal question i just seems like
00:30:55parker's missing having a male figure around i'm just kind of guessing that you might have
00:30:58been an ex of some sort that was six months ago yeah it looks like they had quite an attachment
00:31:04actually oh they did actually richard treated parker better than he treated me
00:31:11richard sounds like a real dick that is the exact correct word dick well i think as a diagnosis
00:31:21just play rough with him sometimes i think he misses that that's it that's it well that's
00:31:28great thank you so what do i owe you oh nothing you're barely here 10 minutes
00:31:35well i have to pay you something tell you what you let me buy you a drink and we'll call it even
00:31:44uh doesn't that break doctor patient rules uh technically i'm not allowed to buy parker a drink
00:31:50it's easy patient but i don't really swing that way unless you're into that
00:31:55that that was a horrible joke i'm sorry um never mind
00:32:04well thanks but i have work tonight
00:32:08yeah yeah no problem i understand another time
00:32:14okay parker time to go
00:32:25yeah meet us at the club at 10 and don't make me drag your ass out there like last time
00:32:32damn it
00:32:38there you go zach just the way you like it wait hold up didn't i say more pineapples in my drink
00:32:44more pineapple more pineapple more tip no more pineapple easy cookie monster how you doing man
00:32:50where's your partner in crime well he's running late
00:32:55close work dying a slow death well i'm gonna have room money i still have my office i still
00:33:00have my overhead i still have my decades of student loan payments i have malpractice insurance i gotta
00:33:05pay for wait hold up malpractice why do dogs have attorneys now yeah sure doesn't everybody
00:33:12hey guys this is hubert hubert go get first rounds who's hubert he's a guy i know from work
00:33:18you know he's been bummed out since his girlfriend left so you guys got a lot in common
00:33:27ruskies hey so hubert how did she do it do what what how did your girl dump you uh oh oh yeah
00:33:37wow it was yeah she uh she dumped me on valentine's day right and and uh she left me for my little
00:33:43brother and she is is pregnant with his kid kids triplets and she gave me herpes lots of it
00:33:52everywhere wow christmas may suck at your house it's awful
00:34:00and you know what come with me yeah
00:34:04excuse me um you have to settle a bit of a bet is there a birthday going on this table yes it's
00:34:10is your birthday how did you know that i don't know i don't know but i bet me that he thought it
00:34:15was a birthday here i didn't believe it i can't believe you pulled that off i mean that guy with
00:34:20the bow tie it's ridiculous good good guy hubert's out smiles
00:34:33well i would be too if i were him yeah it'd be impossible for two girls to drag you anywhere
00:34:40now see bobby didn't that feel good to help a loser in love yeah that's what made it kind of
00:34:47good well in that case there you go what is this that sir is your cut you see hubert doesn't work
00:35:00with me he actually hired us for the night wait you you guys started a business without telling
00:35:06me count the money i don't care how much money this is this is are these 50s yeah and i'm pretty
00:35:13sure you didn't buy a drink all night at all okay that is not the point you're right you're right
00:35:19that's not the point the point is you just made a ton of money helping a guy find a little
00:35:25happiness and weren't you the one talking about a lot of bills yeah yeah yeah don't worry about it
00:35:34just consider yourself the patron saint of pity pussy come on you put it that way yes it is on it
00:35:45is so on okay but only until i get my practice going i don't even give a shit then i'm out
00:35:50that's fine we're gonna make a ton of money zach fat ass in the car
00:35:55i don't always have to ride in the back
00:36:17hey sexy no
00:36:25hey honey hey girl how you doing i'm good just taking a break from running errands
00:36:31nice well how's parker you know he is wonderful ever since i took him to that
00:36:37dog doctor okay well don't you forget we have a busy weekend ahead of us so you better be
00:36:42getting ready i am way ahead of you girl you should see what i have in store for tonight
00:36:54thank you
00:37:15it is
00:37:25oh
00:37:43and
00:37:54action so how did we do tonight
00:38:02twelve hundred dollars what that's 400 a piece not bad for one night well i'm gonna need a lot
00:38:11more nights like that to catch up but this you know we have to be better prepared a lot of these
00:38:16guys are aggressive you know what i'm gonna bring my bear mace i have a better idea saturday morning
00:38:23early i'll call you with the details early okay then misty yes good night good night
00:38:46curtis long time no see i'm just figuring out the bills right now that's why i'm here
00:38:52can't keep floating your rent bobby that's all good i got it right here all five months
00:39:00five months uh sheesh not far behind huh i'll give you that and i promise i'm gonna get the
00:39:07rest to you later i've just been doing a little extra something on the side to help make ends
00:39:13meet you ain't doing nothing weird in here are you no no no no no because marlene always liked
00:39:19you that's why i've been throwing your ass out but if you're doing any wacky shit she'd roll over
00:39:23in her grave oh it's all good yes hey how you holding up yeah yeah i don't know get lonely
00:39:34sometimes you know could use a little companionship but companionship huh yeah
00:39:40might be able to help you with that yeah what what are you doing tonight nothing
00:39:45meet me at you dig you what you dig i dig what you dig the bar oh i dig the bar you dig
00:39:52meet me tonight and you dig the bar oh yeah okay i dig good i can't believe we're giving this guy
00:40:03a freebie the guy's been floating my rent for months what am i supposed to do do something
00:40:07else wait i need you to return this book for me it's overdue i can't believe you remembered that
00:40:13well i can't believe you can read okay sorry bud it's out of our way no we're gonna do it
00:40:18what we're late for meeting curtis who cares the guy hasn't gotten late in two years another
00:40:2210 minutes isn't gonna hurt him right i'll take my car i'll follow you okay fine
00:40:27good evening
00:40:32how may i help you i am here to return this book
00:40:38it's two days overdue is it i'm sorry
00:40:44how may i help you i am here to return this book
00:40:51it's two days overdue is it i'm sorry
00:40:58that's quite all right i won't charge you this time but let's not make a habit of this
00:41:03no of course not thank you you're very welcome
00:41:15so nancy that's miss nancy sorry miss nancy we're going off for a drink interested
00:41:29no i prefer to end my night with a nice cup of tea and a good book that's too bad
00:41:38well if you change your mind you should come
00:41:43yeah you would like me to come wouldn't you you filthy little bitch
00:41:47what did you say excuse me just now you said something i'm sure i didn't have a good night now
00:42:04did you guys hear that that chick just called me her little bitch
00:42:07oh the librarian okay as much as i get that fantasy the whole sexy librarian thing
00:42:13you're a bit delusional that stuff only happens in pornos hey hey she said it i swear
00:42:18all right sure dutch let's go she said it bobby she said it
00:42:26so wait you know these girls how i don't we just met them but how do you you know
00:42:44it's a gift oh wow we try at it
00:42:46can we all do it okay you've had enough hey would one of you girls care to take
00:42:52curtis home i will if you know i will why don't you both take him home
00:43:02okay how's that for companionship screw companionship
00:43:05i'm having a threesome and about that rent don't worry about it ever again
00:43:11nice work dude you are amazing this is like what five times in a row or something like that
00:43:18you don't miss it's good it's good to be good taking this thing to a whole new level aren't
00:43:24you bobby the opportunity presented itself that opportunity never presents itself to me
00:43:30what is that what you want shallow night of meaningless sex yes okay well we're gonna find
00:43:37that for you you give me a ride home cool good see ya see ya bubby get yourself dressed up
00:43:50no no no no come on perfect just perfect
00:43:56oh you're not leaving are you
00:44:05you're buying me a drink
00:44:08i i was i i mean i i am
00:44:15don't make me ask twice
00:44:26oh i really need a smoothie like before this not good morning
00:44:40oh girl last week we were just getting home this time yeah why did you wake us up so early
00:44:45uh well because ladies as we saw the other night it is a war out there i mean these guys are
00:44:50relentless some of them even have helpers or spotters oh yeah i think i've run into a few of
00:44:55them yeah so we never know what they're gonna do and we need to be ready okay but really this
00:45:01is this krav maga oh is that that new designer she makes those really good purses no sweetheart
00:45:06it is an israeli fighting style why everybody let's go
00:45:14yeah
00:45:20now this is an introductory course on self-defense here you will learn important tools
00:45:29to help you defend yourself get over here okay okay sorry at all times
00:45:38i need a volunteer anybody
00:45:43yes
00:45:58you think this is funny huh huh you think this is funny
00:46:03oh yeah that's a good move yeah huh huh yeah you know what i can crush you with my bare hands
00:46:21ow wow always know your opponent's weakness strike when he's most vulnerable
00:46:28oh how's that for vulnerable oh that
00:46:40are you okay clearly yeah in my head i can't see oh what i can't see christy
00:46:48awesome
00:46:57you okay i don't think i can move
00:47:13who the hell is calling so early come down to your office
00:47:16what why i don't have any patients just get down here
00:47:30what the hell is all this wingman headquarters off the chain right no no no not off the chain
00:47:37i where am i supposed to see my patients you said you don't have any patients that's temporary
00:47:42guys i didn't rack up a hundred thousand dollars in student loans for nothing well so is this okay
00:47:47this is temporary too i mean zach already found a bigger space downtown so we leave in three weeks
00:47:52slow down donald trump i just got the rent here under control i am not moving anywhere
00:47:56come on wingman is taken off we have tons of clients we need to expand real talk i told you
00:48:03i don't want to do this forever i'm just doing it until i get my practice going well in the meantime
00:48:09use the money for advertising that's not a bad idea right but why do we have to get here so early
00:48:16two reasons first homework zach get them five clients tonight boom five clients in one night
00:48:24where are you finding these guys tons of places we got dating tips for nerds.com
00:48:30dating tips for geeks.com and my favorite is finding love for losers.com
00:48:35yeah and the second reason and this isn't real until i tell somebody all right
00:48:43that librarian the one that called me a little bitch she did not call you a little bitch i mean
00:48:48you are a little bitch but she didn't call you that she did okay whatever fine after you guys
00:48:55left she came over and we had a drink and then we did it in a very naughty place what like the
00:49:02backseat of your car in the back of something get out of here i'm telling you i'm telling you
00:49:11it happened okay i'm not kidding it was glorious and then after a little bit of whipping action
00:49:19she told me to put it in there no way oh yeah you mean like
00:49:26cake yeah i think i'm in love man yeah yeah that doesn't make her a slut though right
00:49:38no surprise you haven't brought her home to meet your mother already we're going there on monday
00:49:44you seriously yeah
00:49:47wow
00:49:54so wait how are we looking for tonight three clients
00:49:58good every little bit helps because after i pay off the banquet hall i've got to pay off
00:50:02the caterer the band the florist oh oh and i forgot ladies the dog trainer
00:50:09oh seriously oh yeah richard said spare no expense honey oh i know he was your fiance
00:50:17but every time i think about him it just makes me so angry tell me
00:50:39what you do
00:50:46what's that i took dutch's advice create a little advertising for my practice
00:50:52you cute little fella
00:50:55you guys put your vaginas away for a second let's uh get in there get some work done
00:51:09something down there for me what's up dad uh well i'm gonna get a beer for my buddy here and
00:51:14i'll take one of those you don't get anything for eating it's bad i'm just supposed to eat and drink
00:51:21all right guys who do we got up first uh eugene 25 years old and he's a virgin
00:51:29ouch yeah okay thank you my man what's happening dudes how we doing huh
00:51:39look at you looking dapper man who i know eugene peabody you know who's who's no i'm saying
00:51:46you're eugene in the flesh man in the flesh be careful i'm saying i'm hoping we'll see some
00:51:52ladies tonight too you know what i mean like this and you're a 25 year old virgin yeah
00:51:58what year were you born what's with the looks man 78 87 my bad that's right too
00:52:0775 all right give me a break guys please help me on this one all right
00:52:12you check these guys out before you take the job i checked out his bank account it
00:52:17check this out boy you want that old school kind of right
00:52:22wild right oh i don't know how to help this guy what's up baby how you doing
00:52:33i'm just making a fool of myself now i'm done he's right
00:52:39i don't know what i'm doing here i haven't been to a bar in 10 years
00:52:43my kid put me up to this wait is your kid adopted
00:52:48no why because you said you were a virgin yeah it's all the same i'd rather be home playing
00:52:55mahjong what is mahjong oh it's this cool matching game before my wife passed we used to please
00:53:04never mind i'm going uh eugene you know what no sit down
00:53:10look you seem like a really good guy thanks may i for a second yeah please zach take his
00:53:17chair if you want to find someone someone that you want to spend quality time with i do
00:53:22please zach take his chair if you want to find someone someone that you want to spend quality
00:53:27time with i do you gotta just be yourself i love mahjong you do yeah i just started playing it but
00:53:36and mostly online but um it is just like so much fun do you ever visit the pogo.com site
00:53:42yeah what did that oh my god i'm on that site all the time yeah the tile designs are amazing
00:53:46what what the hell is happening i don't know and i don't care who i am
00:53:55i wanted kim and i have been working her for weeks
00:53:58really really can you let this one go no zach no this isn't fair okay yep no and it's pretty damn
00:54:08oh
00:54:29oh hell no
00:54:38what
00:54:47look out ladies here comes another one
00:54:56do you sleep on your stomach can i
00:55:08do
00:55:27whoa looks like we're playing dress up what's up rihanna
00:55:38way
00:55:55what the hell happened back there sorry i thought i saw someone i was easy here okay you
00:56:01cannot lose focus like that one slip up and we don't get paid i know you're right i just got
00:56:07distracted but my head is back in the game it won't happen again good all right why don't you
00:56:13just take a minute and pull yourself together and when you're ready you come back out okay
00:56:18amy and i will look after the others amy come on
00:56:23come on
00:56:27take a minute okay go get them
00:56:31okay
00:56:35if anything that wasn't harsh enough we're making a fortune with this thing
00:56:39if she falls in love this is all over yeah but don't you want her to be happy
00:56:42of course i do let's just get her out of debt first come on
00:56:48so
00:56:57are we done yet i'm exhausted nope we've got one more
00:57:03bartholomew patterson and where's he from actually he's on your same street
00:57:11so dudes what's on the agenda
00:57:14what i'm sorry do i know you it's me bud your roommate bud my bud your real name is bartholomew
00:57:26look at you i didn't even recognize you you look
00:57:29you look good yeah well when i clean up i'm quite a catch
00:57:36well what do you need our help with i'm super shy
00:57:40so yeah or maybe i'm just paranoid because i'm super high i haven't really figured it out yet
00:57:47okay well while you're figuring that out uh why don't you tell bobby here what uh
00:57:52you're liking a girl boobs i can respect that okay what else really big boobs hair color
00:58:01eye color anything she's got big enough boobs she doesn't have to have hair i've been there
00:58:07no wonder you never leave the house hi guys
00:58:26okay
00:58:37so
00:58:46so
00:59:03hi doc hey christy hey
00:59:07how's parker he's better your session did the trick i would expect nothing less
00:59:16hey how about that other day at the office i didn't mean to come on yes you did so i thought
00:59:23maybe you could buy me lunch lunch that's a very safe first date oh it's not a first date
00:59:32it's a payment ah payment right so is that a yes absolutely what kind of underwear you got on
00:59:42excuse me it's okay i i know this guy uh boxers give them to me what for well miss boobs likes
00:59:51boxers but i'm wearing tidy whities that's all my mom gets me your mother buys your underwear
00:59:57that's not important what is important is that i need your boxers and i already paid you
01:00:02what do you have any skid marks or something like that skid marks i don't pay ridiculous
01:00:08good because miss boobs would not like that paid you for what
01:00:12uh nothing he's just kidding no give them to me man i i need this
01:00:18you can always go commando okay all right sure fine
01:00:22oh uh tomorrow 12 30 at cloverleaf sure great i'll see you then okay
01:00:28she's gonna be so happy when she sees your underwear
01:00:39here you can use mine no thank you wow my voice feels so free and easy i gotta tell mom about this
01:00:49my voice feels so free and easy i gotta tell mom about this yeah for sure yeah tell your mom
01:01:10and what were you doing you don't want to know are we done can i go home now yeah sure you want
01:01:17to get lunch tomorrow to uh talk about the other bunch of losers actually i can't tomorrow got a
01:01:21date what no thank you thank you so good job tonight guys i'll see you tomorrow
01:01:30hey you know you got a date yeah i heard
01:01:40can't we just go home nope we've got one more job to do
01:01:48do you miss him you richard after what he did how could she i guess i miss the idea of him more than
01:01:57anything else well that's not a good old-fashioned set of batteries won't care don't be gross it's
01:02:04totally not the same thing are you kidding do you have any idea what's out there nowadays
01:02:09i almost didn't come out tonight so last saturday when you said that you had a headache
01:02:17four glorious hours non-stop
01:02:28you keep pictures on your phone who are you
01:02:32hell yeah if that thing had a job i would marry it this is something
01:02:41all right you're just a little bit jealous aren't you i am not jealous oh it's okay christie it's
01:02:47no big deal you haven't phoned anybody in a while well i haven't but so what my life does
01:02:54not revolve around that well then obviously you're doing it wrong or perhaps it's just been
01:03:00so long that you have forgot when was the last time you know when the last time was
01:03:08and it doesn't matter because i have a date tomorrow what what oh my god do we know him
01:03:15do we get to meet him i'm so excited for you that's so good okay you don't know him and you
01:03:20definitely don't get to meet him not yet anyway well don't you want us to make sure he's not
01:03:25another richard i am certain that he's not and i thank you for your concern and i will let you
01:03:31know if i need any help or a set of batteries i'm just saying
01:03:38you know what i was gonna buy you one
01:03:47she walks out
01:03:52i'm impressed well my mother taught me well um let's eat thank you
01:03:59thank you uh so i hope you don't mind but i can't stay too long i gotta meet my girlfriends
01:04:05the old safety net eh in case i turn out to be a psycho no uh no i've got to work tonight
01:04:12i've got to pick up some supplies ah and uh what happens if i turn out to be a psycho
01:04:19that's what my stun gun is used for
01:04:21uh so what was up with that guy in your underwear the other night
01:04:33oh uh bud he's my he's my roommate so you share your underwear with your roommate
01:04:39uh yeah share it with them all the time that's what we do but you don't you don't do that
01:04:46right so do you actually make a living doing dog uh the pet psychiatry uh yeah i get by i i
01:04:59well not really um i do a little consulting on the side and what about you what do you do
01:05:09i am an entrepreneur
01:05:13okay interesting doing what relationship management
01:05:29excuse me i have to take this
01:05:33what we have a situation that requires unique skills 12 30 in the afternoon he paid double
01:05:39part required don't you understand fine send me the address
01:05:48um i'm really sorry something has come up it's okay actually i just got a text from my friends
01:05:53that they need oh well let me make it up to you saturday night dinner i'm not taking no
01:05:59for an answer i'm coming to pick you up okay okay it's a date no it's it's a payment
01:06:08payment yes yes on it uh we'll see you then saturday yes
01:06:20i don't understand why we had to call him we could have handled this ourselves he's right here
01:06:26hey what's so important you had to drag me away from my date yeah sorry about that um we've tried
01:06:31everything here we need you yeah we just got here it's tim tim is smitten with svetlana and
01:06:41we can't get her interested isn't she beautiful she lives in my building i've been following her
01:06:46for months that's a little disturbing but this is a family party it's nearly impossible to break into
01:06:54this kind of dynamic especially at this time of day okay we're gonna have to try someplace else
01:06:58all right but besides her apartment this is the only time i know where she's gonna be exactly
01:07:04i'm sorry i can't help you then give him back his money whoa whoa let's not talk crazy okay
01:07:10he paid the maximum the maximum for our off-hour services no he's right if you can't do this i want
01:07:18my money back okay tim give us a minute wait a minute what day is it 21st why i think this is
01:07:28this is what i want you to get on the chair shout really loudly that you love pancakes
01:07:34why this ain't the ihop oh don't they have the moons over miami and two to two for a
01:07:39dollar that's denny's you idiot still won't want pancakes trust me
01:07:48i hope you're right
01:07:58i love pancakes
01:08:19i love pancakes too
01:08:28thank you
01:08:32what the hell is a mozzarella expialidocious
01:08:35mostly it's a it's a russian holiday where they serve pancakes how the hell do you know that
01:08:41history channel rocks dude not bad
01:08:53girls i got your 911 text what's wrong oh no sorry that was supposed to be a 411
01:08:59we just needed to know if you wanted the white t-shirts or a different color
01:09:03um either color is fine oh yeah okay great here honey let me take those
01:09:09next time you can just text me and ask me okay yeah okay okay all right did you get everything
01:09:16else if you don't yeah what is all this stuff for anyway i got a few tricks up my sleeve for
01:09:22tonight you will find out lovely oh how was the day it wasn't a date it was lunch and it was going
01:09:31fine until i got your text you're gonna see him again yeah saturday night no no no no you can't
01:09:41there sweet cheeks you're working saturday night don i'm sure that we can handle it for one night
01:09:47on our own this is her first date since you know who you think i don't know that i just want to
01:09:50make sure she doesn't lose her edge like she did the other night i won't i'll be fine all right
01:09:57look end of discussion let's just get this stuff home so that i can get to work please
01:10:04hey are you you the dog shrink hey uh yes yes i am can i get someone to give me a hand with rufus
01:10:12here of course rufus who are you boy yeah he likes to eat his own shit
01:10:22of course he does yeah i have to brush his teeth every day it's really annoying
01:10:27i see he didn't happen no no no no you're cool ah good well come on back
01:10:36you can wait back there i'll just wash up and be there in a sec
01:10:39hi hi hello you're the dog psychiatrist yes i am you're cute
01:10:52how many of those are you gonna eat i don't care how many i
01:10:56hey guys we're late again sorry full caseload wow that's twice this week things are picking up
01:11:04so how many do we have tonight just two we got a bunch of nerds and the other guy's a whale i mean
01:11:09not like zach he's just got a ton to do so he's gonna pay us extra so that's great what for what
01:11:15for this guy has a single night hookup streak that he's trying to break and for every girl we get him
01:11:21we get a bonus nerds i understand this guy doesn't sound like he needs our help who cares the money
01:11:27we're gonna make from this guy is gonna set us up for months yeah but listen dutch i don't know
01:11:32how much longer i want to keep doing this okay bobby we'll talk about that later okay he's coming
01:11:37right now evening gentlemen wow there's some serious action here isn't there i think i'll
01:11:46take a quick lap around and check it out nice guy right oh you've got to be kidding me that guy is
01:11:56so swarming what does that even mean he's a total player he doesn't need our help well
01:12:01then that should make our jobs pretty easy i like him you would i'm so sorry he just
01:12:15hey it is a madhouse tonight it's a 30-minute mate and the clients are not happy i've got us covered
01:12:23what are you doing no one's getting in here they don't know that tiny bristie what have you been
01:12:30at i haven't seen you for ages oh i've been working like crazy listen can you help me out
01:12:37we have got a bachelorette party here and we're getting antsy that's the red part
01:12:42that's the red part why didn't you say so come on in ladies
01:12:52ladies ladies
01:12:57you're the best tiny
01:13:12oh love it clever
01:13:25hey z yeah just let a bachelorette party in and they ready to party they just came in
01:13:34boom bachelorette party five minutes and our prayers are answered
01:13:42every time i step up to the floor
01:13:49bobby you mind if i uh warm these ladies up tonight yeah if you want to wing for this
01:13:53greasy prick you might get if you don't want to do the bachelorette party we'll do it for you okay
01:13:58okay great let's go zach
01:14:03all i want to do is
01:14:26those girls are preggers pregnant well you won't fast read right because they
01:14:31weren't pregnant when they came in but they're pregnant what are they doing at a bar
01:14:35how should i know if you don't believe me bobby go check it out for yourself
01:14:39you you you you check it
01:14:49bobby christie what are you doing here i'm working what are you doing pregnant
01:14:56i can explain that she looks familiar
01:15:00yeah you're that cock blocker with the freakishly strong slapping power
01:15:04is this your new girlfriend really okay i've spotted at least four different tasty chicks
01:15:10so it's time for you guys to earn your paychecks richard christine oh that that isn't mine is it
01:15:18no of course not it's not even real
01:15:21oh my god what do you mean earn your paychecks you guys know each other well i uh
01:15:29okay so i hired these guys for the night to help me facilitate a couple new ladies
01:15:37is this what you mean by consulting you help guys find girls and
01:15:42richard is one of your clients okay wait this is your richard yes my ex dick hey this is the dick
01:15:48hey dick who hey where's the dick hey richard's dick okay i just met this guy i don't even like
01:15:56him dutch set this up i know nothing about this this is unbelievable okay you don't understand i
01:16:01can explain you know what why bother you're just like every other guy i try and keep my clients
01:16:06away from christie come on man i need you back at the bar this chick is smoking you get out of my
01:16:16face hey i spent good money for you to be my wingman to get your ass over there and do your
01:16:21job relax all right just let's get the work done and then go get the girl get off of me
01:16:29you don't understand you never have
01:16:36i swear if he says anything to me i don't even know what i'm gonna do is he still standing there
01:16:41hey what are you doing are you freaking kidding me
01:16:50dick very nicely done thank you
01:16:59i told you they're all alike christie come on let's just stop go get a cup of
01:17:05coffee or something together leave me alone dawn where are you going what don't do this
01:17:14christie christie you're our ride home come on
01:17:27i wake up and right away i know
01:17:31the minute i turn on my bedroom radio come on bobby we know you're in there
01:17:37the music is a lady gaga song but there's a hissing in my ears
01:17:46second story
01:17:52bobby come on out man you said you could talk
01:17:58bobby stop eating quit talk out why are you hitting me because you're a dude
01:18:04and when i'm looking into the mirror i have your favorite gift
01:18:09it's not his favorite candy it's her favorite
01:18:11i'm going crazy the pressure gets to me between my shoulders
01:18:29my head used to be
01:18:38if i don't tell you now then i'll end up alone
01:18:51i hear you calling but i don't know we got you hey can i no thanks sweetheart what's your name
01:19:00oh
01:19:17yeah we cannot hold these guys out forever we need to think of something fast
01:19:23okay
01:19:24i got it
01:19:30what the hell was that for they think that we're lesbians they'll leave us alone
01:19:45i'm so sorry about that i hope you girls will give us another chance
01:19:50oh that's my car bitch i'm so sorry i didn't mean to what do you like an exhibitionist chick
01:20:00or something what no no we were just trying to get rid of those guys i know lots of ways
01:20:08to get rid of guys if that's what you're looking for oh no thank you totally good
01:20:14think about it thinking thank you
01:20:21oh god what the hell do you want relax i'm just here to lick my wounds okay
01:20:29looks like you're having a rough night yeah you could say that
01:20:36business any better on your end what business i mean we haven't had a client in weeks
01:20:43want him back the way it was you know me too so maybe we should get him together
01:20:51yeah maybe we get them together you know we get our businesses back
01:20:56but how are we gonna do that if they hate each other oh come on they don't hate each other
01:21:02really i mean i made a lot of people hate me in my life and that was hate trust me
01:21:09okay well then we get him together me and you wonderful
01:21:22how many times have i told you to leave me alone
01:21:29i've been here before
01:21:31one direction is easy
01:21:52the hell are you guys doing here we are here to take you where you should have gone weeks ago no
01:21:57guys stop it i told you i want nothing to do with wingman anymore and if this has to do with
01:22:00christy she doesn't want to see me so i'm going home sorry zach dankin what let's go zach not fun
01:22:07when you're on that side of it is it oh what hey hey christy hi zach thank you um what are you doing
01:22:25here i got your flowers yum you didn't send any i didn't send any flowers um
01:22:38seems like our friends are trying to get us together
01:22:44yeah well i don't think they're doing very well without us no
01:22:49hey listen about that i really need you don't have to explain yes i do need to explain to you
01:22:55when i started to be a wingman i did it because i wanted to help people
01:23:00and yeah i needed a little bit of money but i did it because i wanted dutch and i wanted zach
01:23:04and i wanted everybody that i'm helping to feel happy just so that they can feel something the
01:23:08way that i feel something and i never even met richard or dick rick dick dick or rick or dick
01:23:16or rick or dick dick whoever he is dick whoever he is i never even met him before that day i
01:23:25promise you and he's definitely not the kind of guy that i wanted to help because he doesn't feel
01:23:30the things that i feel he doesn't feel the same about love the way that i feel i do it because i
01:23:36because i feel love and i still feel love feel for you
01:23:51that was a really good speech
01:23:58it's good because it's true
01:23:59you know i think technically you still owe me that date
01:24:11i do still owe you a date
01:24:16how's your tomorrow good um on one condition what no more wingmanning good intentions in all
01:24:26no more wingmanning i promise i will never wingman for another person as long as i live
01:24:32i promise i would love to go on a date with you tomorrow okay deal deal
01:24:44you sure i look all right
01:24:48it's been a while since i've been on a date of my own so i'm nervous relax
01:24:52what do you got something calming down no i'm good i need to stay sharp
01:24:56some volume should do the trick no i'm really guys i'm okay
01:25:04come on there you go there you go seriously trust me man this isn't too bad isn't it down the hatch
01:25:11used to be black and white okay i have extras here we go all right okay don't mess it up
01:25:30christy relax you're worse than a 16 year old on prom night
01:25:34oh if it's anything like my prom night she's in for a good time
01:25:38i just don't want to screw it up and that's what you want to wear is it too much not if
01:25:44you're going to the oscars you just make sure you say hi to that little cutie ryan c chris for me
01:25:48i knew it no don't listen to her you look gorgeous are you sure absolutely
01:26:07he's here
01:26:24why is this happening
01:26:28no no no no
01:26:31hello what the hell did you give me who is this how many people did you give drugs to today um
01:26:43what day is it bud okay chill it's just a little bit of value you should be feeling cool as a
01:26:50cucumber the only cucumber around here is fighting its way out of my fucking pants it's not too much
01:26:56okay
01:27:06uh-oh uh-oh um i may have given you the wrong beat no shit sherlock what do i do
01:27:16i'm thinking about baseball i'm thinking about politics i'm thinking about susan boyle what do
01:27:20i do uh you have any hand lotion oh shit she's coming i gotta go
01:27:31hey hi just about to come up and get you oh i thought i'd save you the trip oh thank you
01:27:38so you look amazing oh thank you i just had this lying around
01:27:44you just had a versace dress lying around yeah
01:27:49oh god i really hope she doesn't screw it up more than likely she will
01:27:55do you think we can help her
01:28:00i have an idea come on okay let's let's get going shall we yes yeah let's do this
01:28:07while watching this watch your head oh wow thank you
01:28:12okay
01:28:27no i can't thank you um i'm actually uh you go ahead and get a table i'm gonna go find parking
01:28:33okay this is good no i think i'm good i'm just i'm gonna park it myself so no i'm fine i'm fine
01:28:40really this is a ballet i'm fine honestly i can i can i appreciate i can i can i got it what the
01:28:46matter with you i'm gonna i'm gonna get the table
01:29:04more it's all right it's all right you look at me and we look at the floor
01:29:09it's all right it's all right and i know you want the same as me
01:29:12it's all right it's all right holding on and holding on some more
01:29:21my windstorm
01:29:31hey sorry uh i was finding a parking spot i'm gonna take your jacket no i'm good thank you
01:29:36i'm gonna control onto it no more thank you are you okay yes yes i'm totally fine i've never
01:29:45ever been better i ordered you a glass of wine oh perfect thank you what happened to your face
01:29:56oh yeah i um bumped into a wall because it looks like a handprint
01:30:05chrissy wow wow
01:30:10are you guys doing in here hi making sure you don't screw up um you remember don and amy sure
01:30:17you kids having fun so far so good yeah oh my god is that hugh hefner
01:30:23yeah
01:30:30no my mistake wow
01:30:35let's toast to the cute couple
01:30:40eye contact or seven years of bad sex
01:30:53well we hate to drink and run but very nice to see you yes you too good night
01:31:03did not know that was gonna happen really did you know really really really
01:31:12what was it that you put in her drink some of your ecstasy
01:31:17that was your big plan i thought you were gonna give her valium or like it
01:31:21well i had to do something she needed to loosen up a little bit now it is just my prom night
01:31:35do you smell that
01:31:38um what something smells amazing
01:31:44oh yeah no it's not that it's not you either really huh are you okay oh i feel fabulous
01:31:58do you want to get out of here let's get out of here we haven't even ordered yet oh yeah i know
01:32:03so when do you want to go um four to six hours
01:32:08ha ha ha no
01:32:12come on no um
01:32:19asshole what'd i do what do you mean what'd you do you see that
01:32:23yeah but what happy anniversary i'll take the diamond ring oh show me the diamond
01:32:28ring it's in its way it's where it belongs oh yeah you know what i'm done i'm done check
01:32:33okay i know let's go dancing and dancing is so much fun dancing i love dancing but i really i
01:32:42can't it's a little chilly can i borrow your coat no you cannot um
01:32:52are those for me they are thank you
01:32:56no you are nailing it that is so good i can see you're all day
01:33:07dancing oh thank you
01:33:15do you hear that
01:33:33yeah but i don't want you to act on dignifying and stuff all right how's this hands up bitches
01:33:37please stick them up i can't put both my hands up you better do what they say i can't put both my
01:33:46hands up look you can have my wallet all right you can have my atm card i'll give you my pin
01:33:50number just don't make me put both my hands up put your hands up fine what you got there huh
01:33:58put you home
01:34:01no ah no dude this whole package what are you some sick adrenaline junkie that is so sweet
01:34:12just give me a line pervert pervert did someone say pervert get your hands up
01:34:21oh come on what's going on here
01:34:24oh uh officers this is not what it looks like really because it looks like you're
01:34:29smuggling a damn giraffe in your pants good god what's wrong with you someone say god
01:34:34can i be of assistance officers
01:34:38good lord you have got to be kidding me
01:34:45okay guys sorry for the misunderstanding here you go don't forget these and uh sir
01:34:53you might want to take care of that thing all right you're free to go thank you officer thank
01:34:59you have a good night shall we
01:35:04well was not your typical first date with the mugging and the police and the excited little
01:35:26friend but i still had a really good time yeah so did i
01:35:41good night
01:35:48i should tell you that i just got out of a long-term relationship and i'm not looking to
01:35:51jump into anything oh no totally me too same thing so we should take it slow yeah i agree 100
01:36:21good night
01:36:52good morning good morning hey here you go thank you um listen about last night
01:37:05i don't want this to get weird or anything i know it was so unlike me me too completely
01:37:13i'm so tired feeling uninspired
01:37:28do you christy take bobby to be your lawfully wedded husband do you promise to love him
01:37:37for better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness and in health and do not block the
01:37:46this man or any other man until death do you part i do and do you bobby take christy
01:37:57to be your lawfully wedded wife do you promise to love her for better for worse
01:38:04for richer for poorer in sickness and in health and to no longer wingman until death do you part
01:38:14i do and by the power vested in me i pronounce you man and wife you may kiss the bride
01:38:34maybe i should just leave you
01:38:39maybe you're trying to ride on cupid when he's just lost his wings
01:38:44me i'm too shy
01:39:03me
01:39:24she'll never go for him why not what's wrong with him honey look at that face did you see his teeth
01:39:30it's not about his teeth it's about his personality she won't see his personality
01:39:34beyond those teeth he looks ferocious his bubbles how ferocious can he be
01:39:40check it out super wieners the bitches are gonna love those i do know you are disgusting right
01:39:46no i've actually been told i'm adorable many times yeah well i'm telling you now
01:39:50you know nobody cares guys we need your opinion yes who do you think she would go for
01:39:55this terror or this without wondering yes thank you very much gorgeous teeth look at that gorgeous
01:40:08i wish i could forget the day that i lost control with no one to turn to
01:40:15i love it i love it
01:40:25oh sorry about that you all right he's old i know two girls i know i can't even get two girls
01:40:34i know we all know
01:40:38i'm gonna buy your body buy you a drink sure just one giant flame going overhead
01:40:47thank you damn it damn it
01:40:50i remember the day that's a compliment how does that not work and look for his vulnerabilities
01:41:06yeah