Dive into the world of David Archuleta as he shares the personal inspiration behind his latest single, "Hell Together," and his memoir!
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00:00Channel Q here at the Hard Rock Hotel in New York with a very busy guy, especially this
00:07Pride Month.
00:08David Archuleta, hi.
00:09Thank you for coming.
00:10Hey, thanks, Corey.
00:11Excited to have you here in New York.
00:12We spoke the last time about a year ago, and man, things have changed a lot for you in
00:18that year.
00:19You've had a really busy year, especially a busy summer.
00:21What's it been like?
00:23Yeah, I guess I'm getting more and more into the Pride Month spirit.
00:29With each year that comes through, the first time I was like, is this bad?
00:35Coming from a religious background, I was like, you're not supposed to be prideful.
00:38But now I'm like, oh, it's after being ashamed all of this time of who you are and now finally
00:44loving yourself and celebrating it and being proud of who you are.
00:48It's a great feeling.
00:49I would be remiss, though, if I didn't mention the fact that you've accomplished so many
00:53musical goals and milestones in this amount of time, right?
00:56You're performing on Good Morning America.
00:59You've just announced a tour where you're going to be supporting Pentatonix.
01:02You've got a new song.
01:03You've put out so much music.
01:05It's been kind of amazing.
01:06Oh, thank you.
01:07Yeah, it's kind of like a second wind to things, which has been really exciting.
01:14I did some dance remixes of my song just recently, too, because I've been going to more EDM shows
01:20and DJ sets and raves.
01:22It's been fun.
01:23Well, I was going to ask you about that.
01:26You got some flack on social media for attending an EDM festival at EDC and for doing what
01:35people do at festivals, which is like dancing, having a good time.
01:39You dress like people do at festivals, yet you still had to defend yourself.
01:43Was that frustrating for you to have to enter that kind of discourse online?
01:48I think just having to hit these places of life where you have contradicting content
01:58that you're putting up from who you were before and the people that related to you on certain
02:04things.
02:05I used to be very conservative and very modest and very religious.
02:09So now the things I'm doing are bashing with what my previous fans and what I connected
02:17with them before.
02:19They're like, that's not the David I know.
02:20That's not who I followed.
02:22That's not who I was following before.
02:24And so you get a lot of disappointment or just like people don't know what to think
02:28and a lot of people unfollowing.
02:31And sometimes I take that personally.
02:32I'm like, I don't want people to unlike me, but I also have to be realistic and like,
02:36that makes sense.
02:37You know, I'm not posting of when I would go to the Mormon temples pictures in my church
02:44clothes anymore.
02:46I'm posting shirtless at a rave, you know, so it's, it's, um, it's like a bit of a shock
02:52for people, but I, sometimes you get people who are just like, I'm disappointed in you.
02:57And I think I'm just like, instead of taking that personally, I think explaining it helps
03:01me clear it out in my mind that I don't have to be ashamed of what I'm doing.
03:05I don't have to feel bad.
03:07I have to just help people understand I'm not who you thought I was.
03:12I mean, I am who I am.
03:13It's just, I've grown up.
03:14I've changed.
03:15I've evolved.
03:16Right.
03:17Absolutely.
03:18I want to talk about Held Together, um, your new song.
03:22I have to admit listening to it, I got, I got a little misty.
03:26There are some really powerful lyrics in that song.
03:31Can you, can you tell the channel QFAM what, what the inspiration behind that song is?
03:36Yeah.
03:37So it was inspired by a conversation I had with my mom after I came out, uh, when I first
03:43came out to my mom, I told her, Hey mom, I'm going to start dating guys.
03:47And she said, I love you, David, but I love God more.
03:49And I can't support you in this decision because she said I, that she testified that marriage
03:56is between a man and a woman.
03:57And that's what God's plan is for me.
04:00And I said, mom, like I, I, I get it.
04:03I, I believed the same thing up until a week before this conversation.
04:09And, um, but I said, I don't need you to accept what I'm doing.
04:13If it, you've really feel like it's going against what you truly believe in your core.
04:17I just want you to respect that I'm doing what is the best thing for me right now.
04:21And she said, okay, I can do that.
04:22And then a year later, I was still, even though I came out, I was still going to church.
04:26I was still a practicing Mormon, Latter-day Saint.
04:30And um, it just got to a point where I'm like, this is way too much.
04:34This is too conflicting.
04:36I'm trying to like show people, trying to help my community understand what it's like
04:40to be an out person, a queer part of the LGBTQ plus community.
04:44And a lot of people still were very close minded and it was just affecting me too much.
04:51And I know there's some other queer people who still go to church and, but for me, I
04:55just, I just couldn't do it.
04:57There's just too many things that weren't connecting.
04:59And I felt like this doesn't make sense and I need to just take a step away from it.
05:06And when that got announced, it got announced in People Magazine and I wasn't expecting
05:10that, but I didn't hear from my mom for a few days after that article came out where
05:16like David Archuleta leaves the Mormon church.
05:18And I thought, she's so upset with me.
05:20I pissed her off.
05:21And then she texted me and she said, I've decided to step away from the church as well.
05:27And I was like, mom, oh, you don't have to, I'm like, I know how much the church means
05:30to you.
05:31You don't have to do that if you feel like you're just trying to like align with me.
05:35But she said, I don't want to be somewhere where my children don't feel loved and welcomed.
05:39And if you're going to hell, then we're all going to hell with you.
05:43What a remarkable show of support that it sounds like based on previous conversations
05:49you had, like wouldn't have expected something as strong as that.
05:52No, I wasn't expecting it.
05:54No one in my family was expecting my mom to do that because we're just like, what?
05:58Mom is the churchgoer trying to get us all to go to church with her on Sundays.
06:03Even after I came out, my mom would be like, hey, come to church with us.
06:06And I would go, but it got to a point where I was just like, mom, I can't, it hurts me
06:10too much to go.
06:11It messes with my head, makes you wonder, because you're told so much, God loves you,
06:18God loves you.
06:19But then it's like, but he hates this part, he hates this sin and you've got to change
06:23this.
06:24And it's like, wait, but I don't feel like I need to change that.
06:27I've received confirmations and I feel like spiritual experiences where I'm whom I'm supposed
06:33to be.
06:35So how do I go into church and be told and scolded and try to be taught to be ashamed
06:42of who I am?
06:43When it's like, I finally become happy and proud of who I am.
06:48I don't want to go back to somewhere where it's trying to teach me to be ashamed of something
06:52I don't feel I should be ashamed of.
06:54It was emotional listening to the song, so I can only imagine how emotional it was to
06:58write the song and to shoot the music video.
07:01What kind of emotions were you going through as you were getting this experience on paper
07:05and on film being like, oh my gosh.
07:09It was very emotional because I love a lot of the things about my religious upbringing.
07:14I loved the people, they're my friends to this day, still a lot of them are my good
07:18friends.
07:20One of my really good friends, I was one of his best men.
07:25What is this?
07:26No, no.
07:27Sorry.
07:28Groomsmen.
07:29One of his groomsmen in his wedding.
07:30And they're still like my family and stuff and they're trying to, they don't understand
07:36why I made my decision, but they also are like, we're starting to understand.
07:39We get why you left and we're so happy for you.
07:42And it makes me happy.
07:43But it's also like, it wasn't an easy thing to do.
07:47I'm not the kind of person where it's like, F you all.
07:52I don't care about y'all.
07:53It was like, I'm going to miss this.
07:56I'm going to miss y'all.
07:57I don't know what I'm moving into.
07:59I didn't know anyone in the queer community.
08:01I had two friends that were out that I could talk to.
08:06And I was just like, so what am I getting into?
08:08What do I do?
08:09Kevin McHale, he's talked about it too.
08:11I would call him.
08:12I'm like, so what is it like dating a guy?
08:14I have no idea.
08:16What happens?
08:17I'm being intimate with a guy.
08:18What are the things I should be worried about?
08:20I have no clue what's going to happen.
08:24Is it weird?
08:25Am I going to feel funny?
08:27And he was just like, don't hesitate to ask me anything.
08:29You can ask me anything.
08:31And I really appreciate him as a friend.
08:35But with Held Together, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked, but it was kind of like, it was
08:43like a goodbye.
08:44Kind of like, goodbye.
08:47Thank you for the memories, but I feel good about where I'm going.
08:50I had a dancer there, kind of representing, symbolizing unconditional love in the form
08:55of like my mom, Olivia is her name.
08:58And she grew up Mormon too.
09:00And I didn't know that.
09:01I was, so she's like, when I heard the song, I was bawling.
09:04She's like, I could relate to it so much.
09:05I was like, oh my gosh, this is so wild.
09:08Like I didn't know she was Mormon when I hired her.
09:11So I grew up Mormon.
09:12She's not Mormon anymore.
09:13But yeah.
09:14Amazing, amazing story, especially like not, not knowing that.
09:17And I'm sure that happens so many times where people listen to your music and they've got
09:22a deeper connection that, you know, do you think about that when you're putting out a
09:25song like Held Together?
09:26Like this is going to reach people who have this experience and don't, but there are other
09:30people who like, wow, this is, you know, this is their story too.
09:34Yeah.
09:35I saw so many stories, especially from people who grew up Mormon.
09:40Like there was this Instagram video of this, this, this couple, these two women who had
09:48gone to BYU, the Mormon college and the Latter Day Saint college.
09:54And they met, they fell in love and they got married.
09:59And now they're like, they've been together for, I don't know, like 20 years or something.
10:05I don't know.
10:06But it was just really beautiful.
10:07They put this montage of their whole life story to the song.
10:11And it was just kind of cool to see that a lot of people have felt like it wasn't easy
10:15for them to choose to be themselves and love who they love and leave behind everything
10:22else that they knew, their community, their, sometimes their family and their friends.
10:26And so it's that they're like to have this statement of like, fine, we'll go to Held
10:32Together.
10:34It's like, wow, like to see how people have taken that and how it's become their journey
10:39and story and their anthem in ways has been really special.
10:42It is so profound.
10:44It blows my mind.
10:45You know, you were talking about, you know, talking to Kevin and, and figuring out some
10:51nuances of being in the queer community.
10:54I wonder if going back to a song like Crush, when you perform that song, does it feel different
11:00to you now that you've had like a different experience and you've found yourself and your
11:05sexuality and, and, you know, are dating and feel things maybe a little bit differently
11:10than you did before and have some clarity about yourself?
11:13Yeah, I didn't, I felt like I was always, this Crush is about having a crush or maybe
11:20it's something more like you're falling in love with someone.
11:23And I never allowed myself to really open that up because I felt like if I opened up
11:27those feelings, the bad feelings would come, which were feeling those feelings for the
11:32same sex.
11:33So I was like, I have to like hold it.
11:35Like, I can't, I've got to have control over it.
11:38And now that I don't feel, I'm still learning how to let go of it, you know, be okay with
11:43those feelings.
11:45It's been a process, but now it's like, oh, this is what everyone could relate to when
11:51I was singing the song.
11:51Cause at first when I would sing it and it was like a huge song for me and people would
11:56be like, oh, I played it for my girlfriend or I played it for on this date I went to
12:00or my future spouse.
12:01And it describes perfectly what I was feeling.
12:05I was like, I don't know what that feeling is like.
12:07I'm like, good for them.
12:07But I'm like, I don't, I don't know what they're talking about.
12:11And now I'm like, oh, okay.
12:14I get it.
12:14And I get that, the feeling of like, like this, the rush and like feeling like you want
12:19to see someone again.
12:20And it's, it's just, it's nice.
12:24I didn't fully feel it until my thirties, but yeah, you know, I'm glad I did.
12:29Eventually.
12:30You were talking about, you know, being new to the queer community.
12:34And now I feel like in a short time you've become a, like a social media staple, but
12:38also you're, you're performing at pride festivals across the country.
12:41What's it been like for you to now have like immersed yourself in the queer community as
12:46as an entertainer.
12:48It's been so fun.
12:49I've gotten more loose on stage.
12:53I've had dancers of, I like to just rock out on, and it's been really fun to create more
13:01songs that just are more celebratory because all the songs before I felt were so serious
13:06and very heavy and like very analytical introspective, which, you know, was good for that time.
13:13But now it's just nice to be in a place where I'm like, I just want to sing songs that are
13:17fun and are going to make people feel good.
13:19And yeah, it's pride shows are so fun because everyone's just like, yeah, we're here.
13:27And it wasn't easy for LA.
13:28I feel like most people at pride shows and people who attend have a story where it's
13:32like how they got to the point where they were comfortable being out and at a pride
13:39festival.
13:40And it's just fun to share that energy with a group of people.
13:44For the people that you've seen at, at pride shows and people you interact with and maybe
13:49allies in particular, why do you think it's important to support the queer community with
13:54things like that, especially during these times?
13:57Well, I feel there are a lot of people who are finally in a good place being queer, part
14:03of the LGBTQ plus community, but a lot of people are still having to wrestle for their
14:10place in life and in their community or in their workspace or in their families.
14:15They, they're still misunderstood.
14:17People still feel like it's okay to, to judge them and belittle them and to shun them.
14:23And one of my friends, I went to EDC with in Vegas, another like, what is it?
14:31Electric Daisy Carnival.
14:34And I was camping and he was like, yeah, my, I haven't spoken to my family in four years.
14:39I'm like, what?
14:41When I told them I had a boyfriend, they, they stopped talking to me.
14:45I was like, not even for Christmas.
14:46He's like, no.
14:48And I was just like, I can't believe it's just, it still happens.
14:52And people still will say snarky things and be like, oh, there's that.
14:58You're just part of the LGBT agenda.
15:00And, um, it's like, so I feel like to have a space where you celebrate and still like
15:07give, it gives strength to each other within the, the queer community to be like, Hey,
15:12you're here, we're here.
15:14And you're not alone.
15:15I think that's such an important thing to, to remind yourself, be reminded of is that
15:20we're not alone.
15:21And especially as queer people.
15:23Yeah.
15:23Having gone through kind of a rollercoaster in the last couple of years, what advice would
15:28you give to someone who is struggling with coming out or maybe afraid to come out or
15:33deciding if they even should?
15:35Mm.
15:36I mean, I, I feel like it is a very scary thing and every person's circumstances is
15:43different.
15:43I didn't come out until I was 30 and some people come out later, others come out sooner.
15:50And so I would just say, be patient with yourself.
15:54But I do, I will say if you're struggling with those feelings, I'm wondering, I, I feel
15:59like it is so much more freeing.
16:02It is so much more empowering.
16:03You gain a new confidence when you finally are able to make that choice when you feel
16:08ready for it.
16:09And when you feel like you have people to talk to, I feel like that's a big thing too.
16:12It's like when you feel like you have someone safe to say the words and say like, Hey, I
16:17think I might be gay or it might be queer.
16:19It might be trans.
16:20And, and then like, like, am I going to be accepted?
16:25Am I going to be loved?
16:26Am I going to have support?
16:27Cause those are other scary things that people want to know they're going to have when they
16:30come out.
16:31And not everyone has a guarantee of that, but you know, going online is really helpful.
16:36There are other websites, you know, like Trevor project and I mean, even Reddit, where you
16:41can just go and talk to people and ask them questions.
16:44Or for me, I had Kevin, you know, where it's like, how do I navigate this now?
16:49I don't know how to, and, but there are definitely resources out there, especially online that
16:54I hope people know that they can start asking questions or YouTube.
16:58When I was like, what is bi?
17:00Like, are there, is there really such thing as bisexual?
17:03And cause, and I started looking up YouTube videos and seeing like, Oh, okay.
17:08There are people out there who are also, you know, they're somewhere in the middle and
17:13they don't know exactly.
17:15Cause it's not, it's not always a hundred percent.
17:17It's not black and white.
17:19It's not a hundred percent gay, a hundred percent straight.
17:21People can be somewhere like over here in the middle or over here.
17:27And that's totally fine too.
17:29Um, I, I would imagine for so many people, you are that inspiration to them or that safety
17:35net or that, not just with you being able to share your story and the emotional parts,
17:39but also just like posting on Instagram that you're having a good time, right?
17:42Like you made it, you're living your best life.
17:44You know, I'm sure that's really inspirational to a lot of people, especially seeing this
17:47listening.
17:48I hope so.
17:49I hope, I mean, it is, it's so fun to just have a good time.
17:52Yeah, right.
17:53Isn't that why we're here?
17:55Yeah.
17:55Like, we don't know how long, you know, life, you never know how long you will be here for.
18:00And I'm just grateful to be here every day.
18:01And I'll be like, how, how can I make the most of my time here and my day?
18:06Cause there was a time where I didn't think I deserved to be here.
18:10And because I thought it was bad to be, to be queer.
18:14So now I'm like, well, there was a time where I didn't think I deserved to have another
18:19day.
18:19And now I'm so grateful to just have one and I didn't think I would be here.
18:24So what can I do?
18:25Like, what experiences can I have now?
18:27And let's go to, you know, an EDM fest.
18:30Let's go to a concert.
18:31Let's go to the beach.
18:32Let's go to the gym.
18:34Let's see how hard I can work at working out or go to a club and just dance the night away.
18:40See if I meet someone cute, you know?
18:42Yeah.
18:43Yeah.
18:44Before I let you go, I have to ask you, I read recently that you are working on or thinking
18:48about a memoir.
18:50I am.
18:51What a, what a remarkable, like next step for you.
18:53I feel like you've obviously written songs about your story, but writing a book is like
18:58another level.
18:59How has that been for you as you start like going through that process?
19:02That's a lot.
19:03Yeah, it's, it's been, I've, I've come near like the end of writing it for, at least with
19:11the first, like pass through it all.
19:15And it's been difficult because a lot of times to talk about who you are now, you have to
19:20go back into your past things you've moved on from already.
19:23It's like, Oh, that.
19:25And you have to talk about the things that you still haven't fully processed yet.
19:29So it's like really weird.
19:30It's like, like things about your past that still scare you, like the child in you that
19:35it's like, I never processed this and I moved on from it, but here it is again.
19:39And, but this has made me who I am.
19:41And, um, navigating back where it's like, Oh, like this are the first times I remember
19:46feeling queer.
19:48And it was like before puberty and things, you know, it's, but it's like how to, to help
19:53people understand what it means to be queer.
19:56Cause a lot of people think, Oh, you just one day as an adult decide to be a, to be
20:01gay.
20:01And if you're gay, then you're a pervert.
20:03And it's like, well, actually it's like, since I was a kid, it's like, you'd start feeling
20:07like, Oh, I'm different, but why?
20:10Like, I'm, and no one explains to you what it is like, at least back then, like, especially
20:15coming, being in like a kid in elementary school in Utah, where it's like marriage,
20:22you, you marry your wife, if you're a man and that's the end, you have lots of kids
20:26and happy ever after.
20:27And it's like, okay, what do I do if I don't fit what I'm being told that, and this doesn't
20:32make any sense, but I'm too little to know that there's such thing as a different kind
20:39of sexuality than just straight.
20:41But yeah, it's, it's not just about my queer journey.
20:45It's about life in general and American Idol and all these other things.
20:50And I'm excited to tell, teach people about my life and hopefully it'll help people a
20:58little bit better on their journey, especially with coming out, especially if they were grew
21:02up religious, like I did.
21:03That's, that's the biggest goal with it.
21:05Was it cathartic for you writing this stuff?
21:07Like you saying you haven't processed it, has it been helpful to get it on paper and
21:10be like, Oh, okay, I can, this happened.
21:12And it has been.
21:14Yeah.
21:15And sometimes it's just like, it's kind of, I think what's interesting about is you realize
21:21certain things that happen in your life, even though it was a long time ago, how much it
21:25still affects you.
21:26Yeah.
21:27And in the back of your head is like, oh, it was just like one little moment, but it's
21:30like, it's still like, it affects the way you think, the way you act, the way you believe.
21:37And so sometimes you have to look at it.
21:39It's like, why did this affect me so much?
21:41I was a nine year old when this happened, or I was 12 when this happened.
21:45And it's like shaped my whole perception of other people and life.
21:50And it's weird.
21:52So, but it's, it's been healthy to try and process.
21:55I haven't been able to process all of it, to be honest.
21:57I need to go back to a therapist.
21:58I've, it's been a minute since I've seen a therapist, but therapists are great to have
22:03an outside perspective.
22:05Um, one of the things I think about whenever I'm reading like memoirs is like, how did
22:09this person remember this conversation that happened or all the details?
22:12Was that like, I think about that as if I were to write one, not that anything interesting
22:15happened in my life, but like, how do you remember all these little intimate or intricate
22:19conversations and get it on paper?
22:22Yeah.
22:22It's some memories are just like so clear and maybe some that you've, because you've
22:27talked about them so much throughout life, at least that's how it's been for me.
22:30Cause there've been some things where I'm like, I don't remember all the details.
22:33So I have to ask, I have to call, I've called my siblings and my parents and my grandparents.
22:37I'll be like, Hey, what, this is what I remember of this.
22:41Like, can you give me your idea?
22:42And then like, we start like building all of it together.
22:44It's like, oh yeah.
22:45And then this happened.
22:46Oh yeah.
22:46And then that happened.
22:47And it's like, okay, thanks.
22:49And then I go back to writing.
22:50Yeah.
22:51Um, how do you take care of your mental health?
22:54You talked about going to therapy previously.
22:56What do you do on a daily basis to keep your mental health in check?
23:00Yeah, I, uh, I, I go to the gym.
23:04I call, I feel like physical.
23:06When you have all these emotions in you, it's like, I'm feeling a lot of things right now
23:11and I don't know how to process them.
23:13So I go to the gym and I just like, oh, that's where I get like more my aggression out or
23:18just like all this energy.
23:19I need somewhere to put that energy into.
23:21And one time I did therapy and it was a smash session, like a smashing.
23:26Oh wow.
23:27Like just got a hammer and I just started with like, I bought stuff from the thrift
23:32store, like bases and a microwave.
23:35And I was like, where did, where did all this energy come from?
23:40And it was pretty interesting.
23:42Yeah.
23:42Um, and she, and the therapist is like, see like all this energy you had in you and now
23:47it's out now it's there.
23:48Cause I was like, I feel bad doing this.
23:50She's like, why do you feel bad?
23:51I'm like, I just feel guilty that for being angry and like hurting something.
23:55And she's like, is this object alive?
23:57I'm like, I don't know.
23:58But it's like, I, I felt like I always had to hold everything in, but now it was just
24:03interesting to see like, wow.
24:05Okay.
24:05Like it's, it's good to put your energy into something, whether it's working out or
24:11painting or cooking, I'm not a good cook.
24:15So I, I, that's not a great place for me to put energy.
24:18So I go to the gym, um, and I, I'll call my sisters, like when I'm driving and I just
24:23have a lot of my head, I'll just, I call them like, Hey, so this is what I'm thinking
24:26about.
24:26And just so I can get, gain some perspective.
24:31Yeah.
24:32David Archuleta, congratulations on all the success.
24:35I'm excited for what's to come.
24:36Excited for the book.
24:38Um, congratulations on everything.
24:39It's been really amazing to watch your journey and to listen to the music and to, to see
24:43you over the last year.
24:45And now it's a meet in person and everyone here gets to hear your story.
24:48Well, thank you.
24:49Thanks for letting me share my story.