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FunTranscript
00:00The following footage is based on a true story.
00:06Through Oreos the land flows.
00:08Known for his white hat.
00:10He is the one who rides there.
00:13When it comes to the wild west,
00:15he is the one who laughs last.
00:17Because no one pulls as fast as he does.
00:20He meets no one here.
00:22Never is anyone on the phone.
00:24For our cowboy, poor and lonely.
00:31He is not afraid of anyone.
00:38No one can sing a song about him.
00:45No one comes near him.
00:47The German Science Fiction
00:49The German Science Fiction
00:51The German Science Fiction
00:53The German Science Fiction
00:58Today we have mashed potatoes!
01:02So come along with your nuts, boys!
01:06Don't push!
01:13You bite your teeth from that.
01:18Hey, what was that? That was Meinstein!
01:20Shut up, I've got a plan.
01:26I've modulated something. A revolver!
01:29Yeah, something like that. You're a real sculptor, Joe.
01:32Jack, you fix the grid through. William continues to modulate.
01:35Four revolvers from four portions of mashed potatoes.
01:38What's in the bottle, Joe?
01:39A sleeping drug. With it, I put the stupid bait out of the bag.
01:42He's been hanging, climbing, and since ever he's sung something to him.
01:45It's a shame, he's not the sweetest singer with the sweetest voice.
01:48He also plays the cello, as I can see.
01:51Come on, you whore! Swallow it!
01:56A pretty ball.
02:01Shut up, stupid bait, and swallow it!
02:03Shut up!
02:13The stupid bait only plays with it.
02:16The stupid bait only plays with it.
02:31Oh, crap, it's too short!
02:33Take off your clothes, go!
02:35Take off your clothes, go!
02:52Why do we need the revolver from mashed potatoes if we're going to escape through the wall, Joe?
02:57Where's Averill?
03:05He must have eaten the stupid bait with the sleeping drug. I can't believe it!
03:28Mr. Luke! Hey, Mr. Luke!
03:31Telegram for you.
03:33Stop!
03:35They're following us with their telegrams, no matter where we go.
03:38Okay, let's get to work.
03:41Hey, Joe, what about a break?
03:43Not before we're in Utah, the only state in the Union we haven't been looking for.
04:02Wait, you lowly, deceived schnitzel!
04:05Traitor! Thief!
04:06This time you got us, good fellow!
04:08But if you ever set foot in the state of Colorado again, we'll hang you!
04:15Farewell, you laugh-mongers in Colorado!
04:18Hello, you stupid faggots in Utah!
04:21We're dealing with the standard version here.
04:23The ancient trick with the arrow followed by the can with an extension through the prison clothes.
04:28What I don't understand is why they gave the dog one over the head.
04:32Is it because there's something to eat?
04:36Oh, unrecognizable, the Daltons. No one stinks as disgusting as them.
04:43Aha, I see. The four musicians are out in nature.
04:48No, Rantanplan, you're staying here.
04:50Of course I'm coming to the concert where I'm an admirer of their brilliant tenor.
04:58You got it, right? In Colorado Luke can arrest us, but not in Utah.
05:05Why is that so?
05:09Let's move on, yes?
05:11I want to be hanged if a car doesn't come near.
05:20Hey, you!
05:21What are you doing here?
05:23Huh?
05:28Hands up! We are well-trained hallucinogens, armed and extremely dangerous.
05:32So get out of the car and make a fly gold block.
05:38Nanoo, where did the prison go, Joe?
05:41Hello, stranger.
05:43Am I a hungry man?
05:54Huh?
06:05Stop!
06:14Where am I? In paradise?
06:19Where did you get that barrel full of money?
06:21My name is Bob Goodfeller, chairman of the Association of the Good-Hearted.
06:25We have collected this money for the needy.
06:28It belongs to the poor, sir.
06:30Oh, you're stealing the poor. That's a whole new trick.
06:33No, I didn't steal it. The money was donated.
06:36You want to prove to me that people move their money out of free pieces?
06:40If you master the tricks of the industry, the whole thing is a child's birthday.
06:44But where's the kick if you get money without violence?
06:47Sounds weird to my ears.
06:49Happy birthday, Joe.
06:52Joe, Everett has fallen asleep again.
06:55I'm not surprised. I poured the whole bottle on the bread he ate.
07:03Jack, William, throw him in the car and go. And you, get out of here.
07:07Well, bad luck for the poor. I was going to fill the barrel in the next town.
07:11You should be very generous there.
07:13The barrel? All the way to the top?
07:15Of course, all the way to the top.
07:17Prosperity is, as I see it, not your thing.
07:20Nonsense. I always wear my panties.
07:23And we are happy to accompany you to the next town.
07:26The streets are not safe here.
07:28Wonderful. The patron saint of the poor sends you.
07:34If you give away clothes, you should have the right size.
07:40Those are four intelligence beasts.
07:42At the first opportunity, I'll grab my money and send it to the desert.
07:46You make us the barrel full of money and I pump you full of lead gold cans.
07:56The bandits have moved to Utah.
07:58I'm always surprised when they show signs of intelligence.
08:02Look at the concert poster.
08:04Yes, yes, advertising is half the music and the fan can't get lost.
08:09Charity Creek with church.
08:11Wonderful view. We twinkle and twinkle.
08:14Very funny.
08:23See you later.
08:25Joe, that's kind of creepy to me.
08:27A town where no one should be afraid of us?
08:30That's because no one in Utah knows us yet, but don't be afraid, Jack.
08:33That will change soon.
08:38I'm planning a charity bazaar for next Sunday.
08:41I hope you'll come, too.
08:43You do something for charitable purposes? What a wonderful idea!
08:46I'm John Goodfeller and like you, I'm on the road in matters of money and charity.
08:51I'm Liebetraut Blumenfeld, but you can call me Blümlein.
08:56I help needy gold diggers. And you?
08:59I help the Frenchman.
09:01The Frenchman?
09:04THE FRENCHMAN
09:07Dear friends, far from here, on the other side of the ocean,
09:11there is an old and venerable continent,
09:13and on which a tiny little country is called France.
09:16The people there have such a one-hearted existence.
09:19They have nothing to break and nothing to bite.
09:22They have to eat frogs and snails.
09:25Many of them suffer poverty in such a way
09:27that they devour moldy cheese and swollen goose liver.
09:30Are there any leftovers of the mashed potato revolver?
09:33I'm starving to death.
09:38My dear friends, let's help the poor Frenchman.
09:41I'm sure they'll all contribute their share.
09:43My friends here will now ask for charity.
09:46Be charitable!
09:48No! What moving words!
09:51What are you waiting for? Go around with the hat!
09:54What are you waiting for? Go around with the hat!
10:06Ha! I knew it!
10:08Then we have to fill up the barrel in the old-fashioned way.
10:11Come on, we storm the bank.
10:13I'm also in the service of charity, yes?
10:16No, it's not quite like that.
10:18These are broken-down prisoners.
10:20I'm taking them back to the prison in Denver, Colorado.
10:22I knew I'd find them.
10:24And what pretty costumes they're wearing for the concert.
10:26Lucky Luke!
10:28Don't call me ma'am. Blümelein does too.
10:30Did you hear that?
10:32Gangsters, fugitives, prisoners!
10:34Let's go to court right away.
10:36Hey, hey, this is Utah, where we've never been convicted.
10:39We haven't been accused of any crime here.
10:42Listen to me carefully for a moment.
10:44Yes, the poor are prisoners.
10:46The abomination of humanity, so to speak.
10:48And yet it would be wrong to condemn them.
10:50They have made a reverse turn.
10:52On a wink of the sky, they have turned their back on the evil.
10:55Since then, they have been in the light of humanity with me.
10:58Abomination of humanity?
11:00Do not refuse them the blessing of forgiveness.
11:02Look into their eyes and be moved by the expression of sincere remorse.
11:06Open your hearts to them.
11:08You hear what he says, repent carefully.
11:13Oh, what a moment of happiness,
11:15to witness such an unusual conversion.
11:19I had no idea what was going on here,
11:21but no one told me anything.
11:23On the path of virtue, they are converting.
11:26We accompany them on the first steps,
11:28by supporting the four with a generous donation.
11:31Yes, that's right.
11:34Thank you, thank you.
11:35The book, please.
11:37So if that's not worth 50 dollars,
11:39that's better than any theater performance.
11:42Unbelievable. It worked.
11:46Don't be stingy, cowboy.
11:49Listen to the voice of your heart.
11:53We will give the money to a good cause.
11:55Believe me, Lou.
11:57Hallelujah.
11:58Oh, is there anything more beautiful
12:00than a mild deed coming from the heart?
12:02Jack, she's totally wrong.
12:04She only has a good heart.
12:06Well done.
12:07You are truly an unusual person.
12:09And you were fantastic too.
12:11You must stay in town
12:13and take part in my charity bazaar,
12:15which will take place on Sunday.
12:17For needy gold diggers,
12:18the people in France,
12:19and poor prisoners.
12:21We are happy to come.
12:22What is more noble than charity?
12:24Will we stay with you?
12:26But of course.
12:27My door is always wide open
12:29for men with a big heart.
12:34It's a great mix.
12:35A torn cheater,
12:36a naive little flower,
12:38and four Dortons
12:39who stand here under the protection of the law.
12:41Don't worry, cowboy.
12:42They won't stay clean
12:43for a long time.
12:45We'll do mild deeds
12:47until the dummies
12:48make the barrel overflow.
12:50Then Lou will be killed
12:51and we'll make ourselves
12:52out of the dust with the barrel.
12:53I have to say, Joe,
12:54it really suits you
12:55to get rid of humanity.
12:57I still don't know
12:58what's going on here.
12:59I think I still need a cap of sleep.
13:01As soon as I've taken out
13:02the hinterwäldler
13:03here with the quiet prison number,
13:05I am,
13:06haven't you seen,
13:07over the border with money.
13:09Here I bring visitors
13:11who are on a journey.
13:12I hope it's comfortable
13:13enough for the gentlemen.
13:14Now they'll knock first.
13:17Hey!
13:18Have you already seen?
13:19No bars in front of the windows.
13:21Would you please
13:22keep the door shut, yes?
13:23We have to think about it.
13:25We need inventive donors,
13:27the names of possible donors,
13:28and so on.
13:31And we put a chair
13:32with our hat in front of the church.
13:39We might build
13:40a sacrificial log
13:41from the tree
13:42that Errol is sawing through.
13:43It sounds like a circular saw.
13:45Excuse me,
13:46I still have something to do.
13:48These guys will only get through here
13:50if I get an autograph from them.
13:53Oh, that's the singer.
13:55Get lost, you flea omnibus.
13:57Oh, this energy.
13:58You could be envious of him, folks.
13:59I'm warning you, you promenade.
14:02Oh, what a lovely little dog.
14:04Come on,
14:05give Uncle Joe a kiss,
14:06my little one.
14:07It must be a plague.
14:08I won't lick him
14:09from head to toe.
14:10I will show him respect
14:11and earn his respect with it.
14:23Don't trust anyone
14:24who doesn't like dogs.
14:27But you can't catch me
14:28with your smart talk.
14:29I can wait.
14:30Sooner or later
14:31you'll be exposed.
14:32In the meantime,
14:33I like to watch
14:34how Joe Thornton
14:35is pulled over the table
14:36by the fine pimple.
14:37You mean goldfish, huh?
14:38Ha!
14:39You've been alone
14:40with your horse for too long.
14:41You're already fantasizing.
14:46This is the first time
14:47I've bought anything.
14:48Strange feeling.
14:53He's playing the victim's stick
14:54and no one can forbid him
14:55to be a victim's stick.
14:59That game
15:00certainly doesn't serve
15:01well-intentioned purposes.
15:02You're wrong.
15:03I often organize
15:04charity poker nights.
15:05The relief comes
15:06to a senior home
15:07that's good for gamblers.
15:08From the retired gamblers
15:09you must have learned
15:10how to gamble.
15:11No, you learn that
15:12in the...
15:13I mean,
15:14in the expensive boys' boarding school.
15:15You also like to lose
15:16if it's for a good cause,
15:17cowboy.
15:18He's hitting us
15:19for a good cause
15:20and it hurts so much.
15:21Oh!
15:22What's this for, huh?
15:23Let me guess.
15:24For colorblind postcard painters,
15:25right?
15:26Oh, what a joke!
15:28Would you like to play
15:29as a sniper
15:30at my charity bazaar?
15:31That would be really useful
15:32if the cowboy you see
15:33is faster than your shadow.
15:35I don't like that.
15:36I don't like to present myself
15:37in front of an audience.
15:38But this time
15:39it's for the needy.
15:40Think about it
15:41one more time.
15:42You're lucky.
15:43You can't lose anything
15:44and the needy
15:45can't lose anything.
15:48But today
15:49everyone was wearing
15:50their sweatpants.
15:51That's like everyone else,
15:52you know, like...
15:53When are you going to
15:54get over it, huh?
15:55You should have
15:56tidied up
15:57when it came to poker.
15:58That's how you talk about it,
15:59right?
16:00Well, it wasn't that much
16:01again.
16:02When it comes to card games,
16:03they're just as usual.
16:04I happened to see
16:05you have a gold coin.
16:06Yes, where?
16:07There, in the right
16:08chest pocket, my friend.
16:09This chest pocket, you mean?
16:11Yes, what kind of
16:12fool am I?
16:14Good news.
16:15I wrote a song.
16:18What would be
16:19a charity event
16:20without a song?
16:21Well, great.
16:22You can pay for that.
16:23I was going to say
16:24what a wonderful idea.
16:25And you're going to sing it,
16:26darling?
16:27No, I sing at the church choir,
16:28but it's really not enough
16:29for the stage.
16:31I thought
16:32our friends would take over.
16:33Oh, no.
16:34We sang once
16:35when we were sitting
16:36in the bridal chamber
16:37and had to regret it bitterly.
16:38I would like to sing.
16:39I have a very pretty voice.
16:40Silver, bright,
16:41the moon is shining.
16:42I'll get you back
16:43and go to sleep.
16:45Do you think Lucky Luke
16:46will present himself
16:47as a sniper?
16:48Lucky Luke!
16:50A song performed
16:51by the prison choir,
16:52that could be a hit.
16:53And if there are
16:54records of it,
16:55we'll make a fortune.
16:56Do you think so?
16:57Lucky Luke!
16:58Lucky Luke!
16:59Lucky Luke!
17:00Lucky Luke!
17:02Come on,
17:03get up, Jack.
17:04I'm way too nervous.
17:05Come on,
17:06you go first, Joe.
17:09Nobody has been
17:10hung up on us
17:11for a long time.
17:12As civilized people
17:13we prefer the syringe.
17:16So let's start
17:17with the rehearsal.
17:26Oh, what an
17:27enticing melody.
17:32If he doesn't stop
17:33laughing immediately,
17:34I'll break his neck.
17:36I suggest you
17:37sing along, Luke,
17:38if you can do it
17:39so much better.
17:41That's why we want
17:42to start with it.
17:45To always strive
17:46for honesty.
17:48With all our hearts
17:50we want to start with it.
17:57We thank you
17:58in the name of the poor.
18:01Thank you very much.
18:04Oh, my God,
18:05a barrel full of money.
18:06We'd better bring it
18:07to a safe place.
18:08I'll do it.
18:09Take your dirty foot!
18:13I'll take care of it.
18:16This way it's safe.
18:17This way we make it
18:18as difficult as possible
18:19for potential robbers.
18:21What?
18:30Sleep!
18:32Bravo!
18:34Bravo!
18:45Now I don't understand
18:46anything anymore, Clara.
18:47That's how it is
18:48in modern theater.
18:50Bravo!
18:58Bravo!
18:59Bravo!
19:04I just wanted to see
19:05if everything was okay.
19:06What a coincidence!
19:07I wanted the same thing
19:08just now.
19:09laughing
19:17Bravo!
19:19Bravo!
19:20Bravo!
19:21Bravo!
19:24Thank you, Lucky Luke,
19:25for the taste test
19:26of your talent.
19:27And on it goes
19:28with the disfigurement
19:29of humanity
19:30and his choir singing.
19:31He will perform
19:32a song written by me.
19:34A song dedicated
19:35to all the poor
19:36in the world.
19:37A song with the title
19:38The Ballad
19:39of the Rusty Prison Thieves.
19:41After the song
19:42we serve Lucky Luke.
19:43Then comes Goldglöckchen
19:44with the lady
19:45and then we grab the barrel
19:46and run away.
19:47But if the audience
19:48gets in the way...
19:49...we turn it around.
19:54And one, two, three, four.
19:56Thieves and thieves
19:57have always been
19:58in the world.
19:59This is the most beautiful
20:00day of my life.
20:01We can live
20:02and earn money.
20:03That's what we want
20:04to start with.
20:05To be honest,
20:06there's always something
20:07to consider.
20:08With all our money
20:09we want to start
20:10with that.
20:13And we are
20:14very lucky
20:15to have
20:17you.
20:18Thank you.
20:19Thank you.
20:20Thank you.
20:21Thank you.
20:22Here!
20:23Here!
20:24Oh, this stinky
20:25gold-lured cheater.
20:26Come on!
20:27After him!
20:29Here!
20:30Here!
20:36How did he get
20:37to burn all the money?
20:38We wanted to split it
20:39between him
20:40and my needy.
20:41Hey Joe!
20:42Wait for us!
20:43Our dear prisoners
20:44will give you
20:45back your money
20:46for sure.
20:47You're a little
20:48too blue-eyed.
20:49Did something happen
20:50while I was
20:51hypnotized?
20:55Here!
21:04Come!
21:06Come on!
21:07Come on!
21:08Come on!
21:09Come on!
21:10Come on!
21:11Come on!
21:12Come on!
21:16Hold on!
21:17Hold on!
21:18Hold on!
21:19No!
21:23Oh no!
21:30The nice money
21:31just makes you
21:32want to bathe.
21:33It's criminal.
21:34Mom!
21:35Now I want to
21:36play the good guy.
21:37I'll give you
21:38free food and lodging
21:39for life.
21:40We didn't
21:41do anything wrong.
21:42On the contrary,
21:43we helped this guy
21:44to secure this thing.
21:45You've crossed
21:46the state border.
21:47Welcome
21:48home in Colorado.
21:53Come on guys,
21:54let's go to jail.
21:55Just a moment.
21:56You should know
21:57that we also
21:58let goons
21:59to do
22:00milking.
22:03Oh,
22:04you already have
22:05your costumes
22:06for the next concert
22:07and so feather-light.
22:14When will you finally
22:15do something
22:16against hunger
22:17in the world,
22:18I ask?
22:27Real money?
22:33I'm a bold,
22:34awesome cowboy.
22:45I'm a bold,
22:46awesome cowboy.