15th July 2024
Transcript
00:30Tell her.
00:36Tell her.
00:43Oh.
00:44Staying at a nice hotel?
00:46Oh, nothing fancy. I'm saving the pennies, you know me.
00:50So, if you are running, Dad, what will you be standing for?
00:56Don't know yet.
00:58You must have thought about it, though.
01:00I just want to flag, if you are going for the Muslim vote,
01:03I don't want to be involved in the campaign.
01:05Listen, we need more investment in community spaces.
01:08You know, somewhere for the kids to go, learn new skills, socialise.
01:11It's not just a campaign.
01:13It's a campaign.
01:15Community spaces.
01:16You know, somewhere for the kids to go, learn new skills, socialise.
01:19Instead of being on their phones all day.
01:21Make a note of that.
01:23Go on, tell him, Peter.
01:25Well, there's no point.
01:26He doesn't listen to anything I say.
01:29Oh, don't worry, Mum.
01:31I'll make a note of it for when I start my campaign.
01:34Right, I've got to go.
01:36Me and Anna are doing a puppy training class.
01:39Bryson isn't a puppy.
01:40Yeah, but she thinks this would be a good way for me and him to bond.
01:45I don't know why this is so funny.
01:47No, I'm sorry, love. I'm sure it would be really helpful.
01:51Good luck, Dad. I hope it goes well.
02:11Hey, darling.
02:16Nice to see you too, Tyson.
02:18Tyson.
02:21Don't I get a kiss?
02:27Oh, could you hold him a sec?
02:29What, now?
02:30Yeah.
02:37He's a dog, not a bum.
02:39Sounds like he's about to go off.
02:41Give him room.
02:43Come on.
02:52When are you off?
02:53In a bit.
02:54Just got a few odds and ends to sort out in the shop.
02:56Then I'm going to get on the road, try and miss the traffic.
03:03Ian hasn't packed a suit.
03:05Right.
03:06What, do you not think that's a bit weird?
03:08Well, maybe he's trying to come across as less starchy,
03:11which is actually quite sensible.
03:13And he was cagey with Peter.
03:15Usually he's banging on about how he started his own business
03:17when he was 17 and how commerce is at the heart of community.
03:19Refreshing, I thought.
03:24Are you covering for him, Kathy?
03:26Excuse me?
03:28Well, is he...?
03:32What?
03:34Oh, what, you think Ian's lying to you?
03:39What about?
03:41I don't know.
03:42I mean, why else do people spend the night away from their partners out of the blue?
03:48Oh, what, you think Ian's having an affair?
03:52I never said that.
03:53Oh, get real, Cindy.
03:55The only person able to play that trick is standing right in front of me.
03:59Things haven't been the same between us since...
04:01Oh, since you snogged Dorette's husband?
04:03Oh, funny that, innit?
04:09Look, Kathy, I know I've hurt your son,
04:14but I love him.
04:16I really do, and I want us to be happy.
04:18I want our relationship to work.
04:22Kathy?
04:23Oh, just ignore me, all right?
04:27It's just...
04:29Today is my wedding anniversary.
04:33God, what a joke.
04:35Oh, I'm sorry.
04:38Do you miss him?
04:40Oh, yeah.
04:42Every flipping day.
04:45And I wonder, you know, I...
04:48I wonder what would have happened if...
04:50if he'd just told me the truth.
04:54And...
04:55And if I could only have been honest with him.
05:01What about?
05:03What about?
05:06Oh, er...
05:07Nothing, nothing.
05:10Point is, it's too late now, innit?
05:13And, er...
05:14What ifs really don't matter any more.
05:18So, if you want to avoid my fate,
05:22I suggest you have a proper conversation with my son, OK?
05:27Just get it all out.
05:29Get it all out.
05:38Here you go, that'll be £1.50, please.
05:40Thank you.
05:42Yeah, I'll get it.
05:43You don't have to do that.
05:44What a gent.
05:46Cheers.
05:47Cheers.
05:49I can afford a cup of tea, Peter.
05:52I know.
05:55My dad's doing my head in.
05:56Before I forget, you've got to pick Louis up from his school trip,
05:58cos I'm not going to be back in time for my interview.
06:00Oh, I forgot about that, that's amazing.
06:03You can take me out for dinner on your first paycheck.
06:05Fat chance of that.
06:06You know, I keep practising in the mirror, you know, it's just...
06:09I can't even get my name out without tripping up.
06:11Lauren Brannan.
06:12Lauren Brannan, Lauren Brannan, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren Brannan.
06:15So, you know, that doesn't even sound right any more, does it?
06:17I've said it so much.
06:18Right, well, you're massively overthinking this.
06:22My heart rate's going up just imagining it.
06:24Oh, you're a brilliant candidate.
06:25Anyone would be very lucky to have you.
06:27My CV ain't exactly impressive, is it?
06:29It's got a massive kid-shaped hole in it.
06:32That is no way to talk about our son.
06:36I can't even get that right, can I?
06:38You know he's been refusing to go to school.
06:40I've had to bribe him with sweets to get him to the gate.
06:42And the only reason he skipped in today was cos he's going to the science museum.
06:45He's eight years old, he doesn't want to go to school, that's completely normal.
06:49Hey, um...
06:50Um...
06:52I might have accidentally let a couple of bailiffs into the flat.
06:58What are you going on about?
06:59One of them was fit.
07:02Oh, mate, my stomach won't unlock.
07:05Hey, Pepsi and Shirley, you looking a bit fragile?
07:08Oh, just saying, yeah, about last night.
07:10Yeah.
07:11You know, Jean actually cried.
07:13Yeah, and then she sat up half the night,
07:15knitting a scarf for Southgate that says,
07:17you're still a winner in my eyes.
07:19Oh, we'll be glad for that.
07:21Come on, Jean's right, we've got to be positive.
07:23Fellas, we was in the final.
07:27Palmer scored an equaliser, made us dare to dream again.
07:30If it hadn't been for them two headers cleared off the line...
07:32Nah, it's too soon for all that, Alf. I won a wallow.
07:34Seriously, mate, I have sworn off tapas for a year.
07:38Listen, we was on a good run, scored some cracking goals,
07:40and I'm proud to be English, so I shall catch you later.
07:42Yeah, how come you're so chipper anyway?
07:44You didn't bet against our boys.
07:46Hey, half of you wind your neck in, all right?
07:48I respect a beautiful game, I'm a patriot.
07:50What were you doing in the bookies then when it weren't your shift?
07:52Yeah, explain that.
07:54OK, you pair of naysayers.
07:56I have put a bet on England to win the World Cup in 26.
08:01The dream lives on. Football's coming home.
08:03It's just taken the long way back.
08:05Anyway, listen, I'll catch you later.
08:08LAUGHTER
08:11An affair?
08:13Do you seriously think I'm heading off for a night of steamy sex with...
08:19Well, with who exactly?
08:20Well, I don't know. That's why they're called affairs, because they're secret.
08:24Maybe. I'm not the expert.
08:26Don't pretend you're whiter than white, Mr Beale.
08:29I am.
08:31So you promised me you were just going on this boring leadership thing.
08:34Yes, I swear.
08:36So why haven't you packed a suit?
08:38Because I'm trying not to look old and stuffy.
08:41Are you trying to punish me?
08:43For what?
08:44Well, you've just been a bit distant lately and I don't like it.
08:47What, you mean I haven't been showing you all the attention that I normally do?
08:51I thought you didn't like it.
08:52I don't.
08:53Right, so why are you complaining?
08:57Mmm.
08:59Mwah.
09:01Er, what was that for?
09:04Do you know what? I should make you think I'm having an affair more often.
09:08Seriously, you thought I was having an affair?
09:10No, no, I don't. Not any more.
09:12I'm the only lunatic willing to go anywhere near you.
09:15Before you go, I need to grab the charger from the car.
09:17Here you go.
09:18Thank you.
09:26Wait!
09:28Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, hold on! That's... that's mine.
09:30Lauren Branham?
09:31Yeah.
09:32I've been instructed to remove items from your property
09:34to the value of £450 for any faulted store card debt.
09:38What?!
09:39What debt?
09:40Purchased a laptop on credit in December 2022.
09:43What, I paid that off?
09:45Didn't I?
09:50I've never had any of these letters.
09:52Our records show you've been sent repeated letters.
09:55You still had the £150 on it.
09:57My 0% interest ended after a year.
09:59You really need to check these things out.
10:01I've moved around a lot since then, ain't I?
10:05Please, this isn't fair.
10:07Unless you can pay an instalment of £100 plus service fees,
10:10I'm going to have to take this laptop.
10:11I haven't got £100.
10:13And I'm just following orders.
10:15Please, I really need it.
10:18Look, if you can prove to me that you need this for work,
10:22I don't have to take it.
10:24Yeah, well, I can't, can I? Cos I ain't got a job.
10:27But I need it, cos I need to look for work.
10:29That doesn't count.
10:31Mate, I'll come for the first payment, if you don't mind.
10:33No, Peter.
10:34Lauren, I'm not going to stand by and let bailiffs take your stuff, am I?
10:38Right, what is it? Yeah, a credit card, yeah?
10:40Yes, please. That'll be £410, please.
10:43What?! You said £100.
10:46Service fees.
10:48Peter, no, no, you can't do that.
10:50Lauren, stop. It's better you owe me than owe them.
10:53No.
10:55SIGHS
10:58SIGHS
11:22Come on, chop-chop. My political career waits for no one.
11:25Everything OK? Fine, yeah.
11:27Here, please.
11:29Well, have a nice time in Manchester.
11:32Oh, thank you.
11:34See you tomorrow, yeah? Bye.
11:56I need to borrow your car.
11:58Ah, so that's where my daughters get their manners from, is it?
12:00Oh, please, George. When?
12:02Now. Now?
12:03Yes, now, please.
12:05Why?
12:06Because...
12:07Please don't ask me why. It's for a very good reason.
12:09Which is?
12:10It's an emergency.
12:12It's not the girls, is it?
12:13No, no, no, it's not that.
12:16I'm not handing over my car keys to my hysterical ex-wife.
12:19My insurance premium's still suffering from the years you were on it in Spain.
12:23I'm a very good driver.
12:25Fine, then you can drive, but please, can we just go now?
12:28Go where now?
12:30Nowhere, we're not going anywhere. Sydney just...
12:32Just what?
12:33She just came in and demanded to borrow my car.
12:37To go where, exactly?
12:39You cannot expect my fiancé to drive you somewhere
12:42without telling us both why, right, George?
12:44Right.
12:49It's humiliating.
12:51It's humiliating.
12:53There's worse things. Trust me.
12:57Ian's having an affair.
12:59I've found the address. I need to catch him in the act.
13:02Oh, Ian's having an affair?
13:13Just drive her.
13:15She's in no fit state to drive.
13:17And I'm going to go and get my nails done.
13:19And if you're not back by dinner time,
13:21I will use them to take out your eyeballs.
13:27I love you.
13:28I know you do.
13:30So do I.
13:36Sydney?
13:39Look, I know you think I'm crazy
13:41and that there's always a drama in my life or whatever,
13:44but I'm not going mad.
13:47Ian is lying to me and I just need proof
13:49so I can work out what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.
13:53Well, come on, then, drama queen.
13:55You're going to drive me?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Oh, thanks, George.
13:59So, where are we going?
14:00Er, don't worry, I'll direct you.
14:04Ballpark?
14:05Ballpark.
14:06Roughly whereabouts?
14:07Er, Cotswolds.
14:09Cotswolds?
14:10What about the Cotswolds?
14:12Er, Ian's got a friend who's just moved there
14:14and I thought we might go and see her sometime.
14:16Yeah, and I'm just surprised your mum wants to visit the countryside.
14:21Why are you two being weird?
14:24We're not being weird.
14:25Come on, George.
14:26Oi, where are you going?
14:28Er, nowhere.
14:29Nowhere?
14:30Nowhere.
14:31See you later.
14:32Come on.
14:33Dad, does Elaine know about this?
14:35Of course she does.
14:36Love ya.
14:39Yeah, love ya.
14:40Yeah, love ya.
14:44Er, stay, please.
14:47Don't say it as a question.
14:48You've got to say it as a command.
14:51Er, stay there.
14:55See, that worked.
14:57You just shut the door in his face.
14:58I don't think that necessarily counts.
14:59What's happening?
15:00We've just been to a puppy handling class
15:02and the trainer's single Bobby out.
15:04Oh, it's my actual worst nightmare.
15:06He made me do roleplay in front of the whole group, Freddie.
15:08Right, roleplay's sick.
15:09You get to explore that shadow side, Bob.
15:11Yeah, I don't think I need any help with that.
15:13What's that supposed to mean?
15:14And then he said that I have to be more assertive,
15:16that the dog thinks that I'm lower than him in the pecking order.
15:19Er, not the dog, Tyson.
15:21That's his name and he knows you don't like it.
15:23Yeah, well, he didn't like me first.
15:24Bob, have you seen Dad?
15:26No.
15:28I think he's too far gone to be trained.
15:30That's not actually what the trainer said.
15:31You can change, get him to respect you.
15:35How come Dad's just taken off to the Cotswolds with Mum?
15:37What?
15:38George and Mum?
15:39Yeah.
15:40What would they be doing in the Cotswolds?
15:42I don't know.
15:43But when them two aren't involved, it never goes well, does it?
15:46I've got to go.
15:47What? Why?
15:48Can you pick up Louis from his school trip with Ollie?
15:51Lauren's got a job interview and I've got an emergency.
15:53Please?
15:54Emergency? Peter, what's the emergency?
15:56It's nothing, Bob. Don't worry about it.
16:04See? Even my own brother doesn't respect me.
16:07That's not the attitude, Bob.
16:08We haven't learnt anything from our session.
16:10Come on, Bob.
16:11I say you go after him and you demand an answer.
16:15Demand?
16:16Yeah. Don't ask. Demand.
16:20Er, yeah. Now.
16:22Yeah.
16:24OK. Yeah.
16:28Well, what do you want it for?
16:30Well, it's complicated but it's very, very important.
16:33Please.
16:35No.
16:36What do you mean, no? Why not?
16:37Because I need my van for my job, don't I?
16:39Right. 50 quid.
16:41Peter, please. We're family.
16:42Well, then do it for that, then.
16:46Right. Might as well chuck the 50 quid in as well, wouldn't you?
16:50Yeah. Oh, and top her up, will you?
16:53Peter!
16:54I demand that you...
16:57tell me what's happening.
16:59No, no. Wait.
17:01Tell me what's happened.
17:02Bob, it's got nothing to do with you.
17:05How can it have nothing to do with me, Peter? I'm your brother.
17:08Forget this has happened.
17:09Just go back inside and teach your chihuahua how to sit.
17:13Why do you think it's OK to patronise me?
17:15You're really starting to annoy me now, Bob.
17:26Your call has been forwarded to the mobile voicemail service.
17:30Dad, it's me. Mum knows where you are.
17:34Mum?
17:43Oi, Martin!
17:45You're almost empty!
17:48Is it?
18:04Martin, have you seen Bobby?
18:06Yeah. Well, he was here a minute ago.
18:09Looks like he's, erm...
18:10Vanished.
18:27You need to do the school pick-up.
18:29In Dubai?
18:30It'll take a while.
18:31Xavier, dummy.
18:32They've been on some school trip or something.
18:34They?
18:35Who's they?
18:36Louie and Ollie.
18:37I don't even know Louie.
18:38I'll be arrested for kidnapping.
18:40Well, he's my nephew, which makes him your nephew...
18:42once, for a miracle's sake.
18:44That's not helping.
18:45Well, he's Lauren and Peter's son.
18:49Lauren?
18:50Yeah.
18:53Fine.
18:54Er, no, no, no. Don't get any ideas, please.
18:57Thanks, junior. Thanks for saving the day.
18:59Yeah, don't be late.
19:00I'll call the school. I'll tell them to warn the mum, yeah?
19:07Just a really weird text from Bobby.
19:09Go on.
19:10I'm being assertive. Don't worry about me.
19:12That is my boy.
19:13I feel it's just messaged.
19:14Club tonight. You in?
19:16When am I out?
19:17Star boy, sis.
19:19I don't know. I'm worried about Bobby.
19:21He's only self-actualising.
19:23He'll be fine.
19:27Well, go on, then, since you're going.
19:30Yeah.
19:46I thought you were on one.
19:49Doesn't look good, does it?
19:51That's his car, isn't it?
19:54So, what do you want to do?
19:57Just going to knock on the door, or shall I call him first?
20:04Cindy?
20:09Turn around.
20:11What?
20:12I want to go home.
20:14You've been spitting feathers all the way down the M40.
20:16My left ear is bleeding because of you going on.
20:19Where's your fight gone?
20:20I can't face it, George.
20:22If Ian is having an affair, what hope have I got left?
20:26What were you here for, then?
20:27I didn't actually think he'd be cheating on me.
20:30Don't know he is yet.
20:33Well, look at it.
20:35It's a love hole.
20:37Love hole?
20:38Love den.
20:40Whatever they call it.
20:41Well, love is retreat.
20:43I mean, look at the door. It's got roses all around it.
20:45It's so romantic.
20:47It is romantic.
20:49How could he do this to me, George?
20:51What?
20:56What?
20:58Well, just six weeks ago, you were declaring your undying love for me.
21:03Undying love? Get over yourself, George.
21:06Well, what was that, then?
21:11I was confused. I was...
21:16You think I deserve this?
21:18No.
21:19Just a bit surprised at how upset you are, to be honest.
21:22Robert, he's going to throw you out?
21:24Do you think he would?
21:26No.
21:28Well, actually, I don't know, do I?
21:33That's not why I'm upset.
21:36I'm upset because I...
21:38I always thought I could rely on Ian to be there.
21:42He's my constant.
21:45My anchor.
21:47And sometimes I...
21:49I feel like it's going to drown me, but...
21:52other times it stops me from floating away.
21:57If it wasn't for Ian, I don't even think I'd be here today.
22:08Come on, Tommy, we got this. Let's have it.
22:10Come on, on your heads, son.
22:12On the head, right? Come on. On the bonds.
22:14Ready?
22:15Ready.
22:17Oh.
22:18Oh.
22:19Oh.
22:21Oh!
22:22We've only south-gated picked me last night, eh, boys?
22:27Hello, I'm Alfie.
22:28Junior.
22:29Nice to meet you.
22:30Listen, you want to stick around for a kickabout?
22:32Yeah, why not?
22:34All right, but let's make this interesting, yeah?
22:37Can we shoot our winner?
22:39It's a donut.
22:40Donut! Yeah, let's have it!
22:42Louis, you keep score, all right?
22:44All right.
22:45All right, come on, Tommy, you got this. Up the hammers, up the hammers!
22:48Oh! Come on, Louis!
22:51Come on, the hammers.
22:52You got a kick.
22:53Again, Tommy, go on, then, mate.
23:00OK.
23:02You coming with me?
23:04Oh, no, I've got to get back to the pub.
23:06George, you can't leave me stranded.
23:09All right, but I'll have to run it past Elaine,
23:11because I quite like having my eyeballs inside my head.
23:38George!
24:00George, there's a bottle of wine and two wine glasses.
24:03I hope it's decent. I'd kill for a drink.
24:05It's hot and not too cold and nobody's sitting in my chair.
24:08This is not funny, George.
24:19Oh, hey, how'd the interview go?
24:21It was a car crash.
24:23At one point I said that marketing was my dream job because I like scrolling.
24:27Oh, mate.
24:28Have you seen Peter at all?
24:30He's not answering his phone.
24:33Isn't that Louis over there?
24:35Is she?
24:36Oh, I love you, Tommy! Nearly!
24:39Who's winning, Louis?
24:40What?
24:41What's the scores?
24:43I don't know.
24:44Aren't you supposed to be keeping count?
24:47Don't worry.
24:48I'll help you toss up if you're struggling.
24:51You got eight and Tommy got four,
24:54plus the other two, so he's on...
24:59Six, yeah?
25:00Yeah.
25:01But we're in teams, so you can take yours and Ollie's score to my eight.
25:05What was it? Three and four?
25:07Um...
25:08OK, let's break it down first, shall we?
25:10What's eight plus three first of all?
25:13Twelve?
25:14Good one, mate.
25:18Louis?
25:21Come on, Tommy, let's go.
25:22Louis?
25:29What's going on?
25:30His dad had to go and do something to pick him up.
25:32I'm junior, by the way.
25:35Yeah, I know who you are.
25:37Sorry, what just happened?
25:39I don't know. He seemed to have problems adding up the scores.
25:42Does he struggle with maths?
25:45Excuse me?
25:46I'm just asking because he was having a laugh taking penalties
25:49and then melted down when we asked him to work out the winner.
25:51My son isn't thick, all right?
25:53He's a bright boy and he don't need the likes of you just putting him down.
26:01You're welcome.
26:13His phone's off.
26:15Why's he turned his phone off?
26:27Is someone at the door?
26:30No.
26:35Hey, um...
26:36Cindy, I...
26:37Who is she?
26:39Cindy.
26:45Hello, Cindy.
26:53I'm Jane.
27:00I'm Louis.
27:03I'm Tommy.
27:05I'm Louis.
27:07I'm Tommy.
27:09I'm Louis.
27:11I'm Tommy.
27:13I'm Louis.
27:15I'm Tommy.
27:17I'm Louis.
27:19I'm Tommy.
27:21I'm Louis.
27:23I'm Tommy.
27:25I'm Louis.
27:27I'm Tommy.
27:28I'm Louis.
27:29I'm Tommy.
27:30I'm Louis.
27:31I'm Tommy.
27:32I'm Louis.
27:33I'm Tommy.
27:34I'm Louis.
27:35I'm Tommy.
27:36I'm Louis.
27:37I'm Tommy.
27:38I'm Louis.
27:39I'm Tommy.
27:40I'm Louis.
27:41I'm Tommy.
27:42I'm Louis.
27:43I'm Tommy.
27:44I'm Louis.
27:45I'm Tommy.
27:46I'm Louis.
27:47I'm Tommy.
27:48I'm Louis.
27:49I'm Tommy.
27:50I'm Louis.
27:51I'm Tommy.
27:52I'm Louis.
27:53I'm Tommy.
27:54I'm Louis.
27:55I'm Tommy.
27:56I'm Louis.