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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, give a round of applause for all the staff at The Improv.
00:03Making the show happen.
00:07Do I keep the variety slash on this so I look like a news anchor?
00:10Is that correct?
00:11Very good.
00:12Thank you so much.
00:13Thank you so much, industry, for coming out and not checking your phones for 90 minutes.
00:17Thank you so much.
00:20And thank you so much, people at the front, for coming out,
00:23for staring at me like I just took a shit in your cereal.
00:26This is going to be a fun 30 minutes.
00:28What is your name?
00:30Christiana.
00:31Very good, Christiana.
00:32You seem surprised that we would engage in crowd work,
00:34because not everyone would do crowd work with industry.
00:37Well, guess what?
00:38I'm not everybody.
00:39You know what I'm saying?
00:40Thank you, people at the back, for laughing,
00:42and these three women for fixing your hair.
00:46This is an image-based town.
00:48I've been to a lot of shows.
00:50I've never seen the audience go, he's talking to us?
00:52Get ready.
00:55Very good.
00:56Christiana, are you involved in the comedy industry in some respect?
00:59Yes.
01:00Yes, very good.
01:01Making us guess.
01:02Very good.
01:03And what do you do?
01:06My day job is in advertising.
01:08Your day job is in advertising.
01:10I want you to know, since you said that very slowly,
01:12we thought you had a very important job,
01:14and a lot of the comedians up there just changed their first joke.
01:18And Christiana, what brought you to the Variety Top Ten Comedians Showcase?
01:23My lovely friend.
01:24Your lovely friend.
01:25Who works at Variety.
01:26Way to fucking pass the book, Christiana.
01:28That you definitely do work in corporate America.
01:31I am here because of this person.
01:33Talk to her and leave me alone.
01:35And what do you do at Variety?
01:37I also work in advertising.
01:38You also work in advertising.
01:40Well, look at you, getting the fucking big seats.
01:42You know what I'm saying?
01:43Because you're bringing in the big bucks.
01:45Thank you very much.
01:46Again, you guys laughing, as all comedy industry does,
01:49by sitting there going, that was funny, that was good.
01:53I'm going after the marketing angle.
01:54That's always smart at one of these shows.
01:56You know what I'm saying?
01:57He's into it.
01:58I want to point out, the guy from Variety with the ponytail just laughed and winked at me.
02:01I think I'm in.
02:02Now, yeah, you'll see me next year.
02:04I'll be winning the Impact on Comedy Award or whatever the fuck that title is.
02:08Now, thank you, Variety guy, for laughing at that joke.
02:11Cool, I just saw that paycheck fly right out the window.
02:15I hope I'm dressed all right for this.
02:16I'm wearing a baseball cap.
02:17Now, I'm wearing a baseball cap for a very specific reason.
02:19If I do not wear a baseball cap, I stop looking like a comedian
02:22and start looking like a police officer that's been involved in a lot of questionable shootings.
02:26Now, thank you, bald guy, for looking at her before you laughed at that joke.
02:34That was fantastic.
02:35And what do you do in the comedy industry, bald man?
02:37I am in the media.
02:38I'm not in the comedy industry.
02:40All right, let's talk about that tone when you said comedy.
02:44I'm in the media, not the comedy industry.
02:48So what part of the media are you in?
02:50Broadcasting.
02:51It gets vaguer.
02:53What part of broadcasting?
02:54Oh, you know the antennas?
02:56I install them.
02:57Now, that is scary close.
03:01Who the fuck are you, man?
03:05You're just a guy.
03:07Doing crowd work with the front row was a mistake.
03:11And yet, you're laughing.
03:12Was it really a mistake?
03:13Huh?
03:14Back to you, broadcast man.
03:15And what is your name?
03:16That was very rude of me.
03:17Brian.
03:18Very good, Brian.
03:20If your job had a title, could you say it to me?
03:26I don't know who you are with, Brian, but that woman looked at me with eyes that said,
03:30good for you, trying to get him.
03:33Miss, how do you know Brian?
03:35I'm a roommate.
03:36You're a roommate.
03:37Fuck, I thought we were going to get an answer to that question.
03:40Instead, we have more questions.
03:42We know he works in broadcasting, and he has a roommate.
03:45So probably still terrestrial television of some description.
03:49Thank you, back row, for laughing at that.
03:51I will congratulate the sections that laugh at me.
03:54You two were laughing when I walked on and then stopped.
03:56I feel like that's really on me.
03:58That was a joke, but thank you very much for reacting like that was serious.
04:01I wish I had talked to you and not Brian.
04:03What is your name?
04:04Danielle.
04:07So far, so good, Brian.
04:08Now.
04:09I was going to say the name.
04:10All right.
04:11Easy, Brian.
04:13Going after women in broadcasting in 2024?
04:18I'm sorry.
04:20Thank you very much for standing up and praying at her.
04:23Can I get an HR representative to the front of the stage?
04:27Brian, I believe, works for Liberty Media for not much longer.
04:31And Danielle, do you have a job?
04:34I do.
04:36I really enjoy how you guys answer these questions.
04:39Like you all hold the nuclear codes.
04:41What do you do?
04:43I work in advertising.
04:45For whom?
04:46Variety.
04:48And so, Danielle, what is your job in three words or less?
04:52I'm not in the industry.
04:54You're not in the industry.
04:55No, I am.
04:56Good.
04:57You're an eighth grade teacher.
04:58I am.
04:59Ah.
05:00I mean, an argument could be made she's in the front line of the comedy industry.
05:06And thank you so much for coming, for bringing real people energy to this room of cynical industry.
05:13You don't know the people back there that bought a Tesla in 2021.
05:17And then lied about it in 2024.
05:21Coming here with, you know, real world energy.
05:23Got nervous when a comedian went up and said, how are you doing?
05:26You went, I have a job, maybe.
05:28You were intimidated by Brian, who won't even tell us what he does.
05:31Brian, what is your job?
05:34I got a couple of things about Brian's answer.
05:37First of all, Brian, you're going to go far.
05:39You were able to deflect the attention away from you.
05:43And so, hi, I have a job.
05:45Janelle was featured.
05:46Speak to her.
05:47And if you don't want to talk about that, I'm for some reason saying China.
05:51I don't want to talk about China.
05:53I don't want to talk about China.
05:55I don't want to talk about China.
05:57I don't want to talk about China.
05:59And if you don't want to talk about that, I'm for some reason saying China a bunch of times.
06:05Just, I work for the Chinese in Synergy at a small studio.
06:09Well, Brian, I got news for you.
06:11You're very lucky, because now comedians are going to come up,
06:13and they are going to perform for what they thought was five minutes.
06:16But I got to tell them 12 at a maximum.
06:18And let me tell you, there have been some rewriting of sets upstairs.
06:22Where are you going, motherfucker?
06:25We got this audience all primed, and now we got to walk out?
06:29Oh, hi, Alex. Nice to see you, buddy.
06:37That's awkward.
06:39He dropped me about four months ago.
06:41Anyway, I'm going to hide behind that table.
06:45Get him when he comes back.
06:47Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time.
06:49Thank you very much, levity table. Enjoy that.
06:52Ladies and gentlemen, I think it is time to introduce the acts you came to see.
06:56What do you think, yes?
06:58Very good.
07:00A couple of quick ground rules, just because this is an industry showcase.
07:03Ladies and gentlemen, you have to cheer and applaud for people that are not your clients.
07:07And no texting in front of someone that may have left your company for a different company.
07:16There are normal people here like Danielle.
07:18Let's be on our best behavior.
07:20It's an election year.
07:22She'll be at the teacher's lounge tomorrow.
07:24Just with those Hollywood big wigs.
07:26They're not all gay, trans weirdos.
07:28One of them was a bald gay named Brian.
07:32I meant to say guy, but I said gay.
07:34And half of you laughed, and half of you went, not with your face, Sean.
07:38Now, ladies and gentlemen, shall we have our first act?
07:40What do we say?
07:42Ladies and gentlemen, this is the top ten comedians as awarded by Variety.
07:46I said, are we ready to start the show?
07:48Are we ready?
07:54Are we ready?
07:56Are we ready?
07:58Are we ready?
08:00Are we ready?
08:02Are we ready?
08:04Are we ready?
08:06Are we ready?
08:08Are we ready?
08:10Are we ready?
08:12Are we ready?
08:14Are we ready?
08:16Are we ready?
08:18Are we ready?
08:20Are we ready?