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00:00Oh, baby, you must be hungry.
00:1786.
00:2099.
00:24The chief wants your surveillance report.
00:28840, the consul general entered.
00:34At 912, a telephone repairman went in and came out again at 946.
00:39Nothing suspicious there.
00:40A telephone repairman?
00:41But, Max, a phony telephone repairman could have anything that means repair kit.
00:47He was checked out by security.
00:48Believe me, 99, I know what I'm doing.
00:50I know, Max, but supposing someone is trying to blow up this consulate?
00:55We don't know that, 99.
00:57All we know is the anonymous tip said that the consul general's life was in danger.
01:01Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get on with my report.
01:03Sorry, Max.
01:04At 1015, a State Department official entered.
01:08He left at 1122.
01:09At 1206, a man delivered a penny and came out just three minutes ago.
01:13Now, give me your pen, and I'll sign the report.
01:15Right.
01:161209, the consulate blew up.
02:16Who'd you find this?
02:44In the wreckage of the consulate, Chief.
02:46It was part of a painting that was delivered from an art gallery just a few minutes before
02:49the explosion.
02:50An art gallery owned by a man named Rex Savage?
02:53Right, Chief.
02:54How did you know that?
02:57Pieces of paintings from the Savage gallery have been found at the scene of the last two
03:00explosions.
03:01Where were the other two explosions, Chief?
03:03An embassy and a police station.
03:04Any connection between them?
03:06All three places had information on file that would have been detrimental to chaos.
03:11That information was destroyed in each explosion.
03:14I think it's time for us to get intelligence to give us a rundown on Rex Savage.
03:17Wait a minute, Chief.
03:18I've already taken care of that.
03:19I'm having the information transferred here through our inter-office top-secret relay.
03:24I think it's coming through now, Chief.
03:35Thank you, Max.
03:42The intelligence section apparently has no file on Savage.
03:45No picture, no fingerprints, nothing.
03:47That can't be right, Chief.
03:50Well, either our boys are lying down on the job, or this rock is a forgery.
03:55That's the official control rock, Max.
03:58Look.
03:59Oh, yes.
04:00Our name and address is on it.
04:02If found, drop in any mailbox.
04:04I want Savage's fingerprints and a picture taken of him right away.
04:0899 will give you the cover of a wealthy society girl.
04:11A patron of the arts, right?
04:13Correct.
04:14Make contact with him and use this pencil.
04:16Oh, wait a minute, Chief.
04:18Won't it look a little suspicious if she starts drawing his picture?
04:22It's for his fingerprints, Max.
04:28This pencil has been scientifically treated.
04:31If you can get him to touch it with his fingers, it will leave an impression of his prints.
04:34Right.
04:35Well, what about me, Chief?
04:37You can pose as her chauffeur.
04:38Oh, that's a good idea.
04:40Thank you.
04:41And have Parker hide a micro camera somewhere in your uniform so you can take Savage's picture.
04:47Right, Chief.
04:48Come on, 99.
04:49Okay.
04:50Oh, Max, wait a minute.
04:52That rock goes back to message center.
04:54Oh, right, Chief.
04:57Here you are, my dear.
05:03A little gift for you.
05:04Thank you, Max.
05:05See you soon?
05:06Of course.
05:07Goodbye.
05:08Goodbye.
05:09Savage, I thought you were through with that Gretchen Kovac.
05:16Her consulate has already been blown up.
05:18She came in and started asking questions.
05:21She must be eliminated.
05:23She will, Mondo.
05:25I just gave her one of our ingenious works of art with the time explosive paint.
05:30And in five minutes, there won't be a trace of her.
05:34What a combination of talents.
05:36Here am I, one of the world's greatest artists.
05:38And you, one of the world's most ingenious chemists.
05:42And after our next painting is delivered, the whole world will hear of us.
05:47Where will it hang?
05:49In the Pentagon.
05:50I don't think I understand modern art, Max.
06:03What do these paintings mean?
06:06It's really quite simple.
06:09Let's take this painting over here as an example.
06:11Okay.
06:12Now, let me see.
06:14I think this is a street scene.
06:17You see, the buildings in the background symbolize the vast forces of nature.
06:22And the loneliness, insignificance, and constant struggle of man is represented by that little
06:28black dot.
06:29Max, look at that modern sculpture.
06:30It's made out of a dented hubcap, rusty fender, tin cans, nuts and bolts, and a bicycle chain.
06:53Yes.
06:54And he's given us man's eternal struggle against the universe out of a pile of junk.
06:58What's it called?
07:01A pile of junk.
07:04Mondo, it's eight o'clock.
07:07We'll close the gallery as soon as these people leave.
07:09Yes, Mr. Savage.
07:10Max, that's Savage.
07:11Is your camera ready?
07:12I'll check.
07:13Now, all I have to do is to get his face in front of this lens and then press this
07:24button and I've got his picture.
07:25Right.
07:26And I'll get his fingerprints on the special pencil.
07:29Good evening.
07:33I'd be honored to offer my assistance to someone so attractive.
07:38Well, thank you.
07:39But it's the lady who's interested in buying a painting.
07:42Yes, I am.
07:45Oh, my.
07:46I'll get it.
07:47There we are.
07:50Thank you, Maxwell.
07:53What style of painting do you feel most at home with, Miss...
07:56Westbrook.
07:57Melissa Westbrook.
07:58Oh, I like many different styles.
08:00My own collection is varied.
08:02I'll get it.
08:05After you, sir.
08:09Here you are.
08:12Does the modern technique of painting appeal to you?
08:15Oh, yes, it does very much.
08:17In the hands of the proper artist, of course.
08:22Well, we have a beautiful selection.
08:24In that corner, we have some rather interesting examples of impressionist painting.
08:29And over on that wall are some of our better non-objective work.
08:33And of course, as you can see, there are examples of cubistic, surrealist, and even the naturalistic
08:38techniques.
08:39Uh-huh.
08:43There's something wrong with your chauffeur.
08:46Maxwell's a lip reader.
08:50Excuse me.
08:55Of course.
08:56Missed.
08:57Set it up again, Max.
08:59Oh, that's a shame about the pencil.
09:02You don't suppose that the chief would go for a nice, good, clean set of glove prints, do you?
09:09Wait a minute.
09:10If I could just get him alone...
09:12Right.
09:14What do you mean, alone?
09:17Well, he can't keep his gloves on forever.
09:19Yeah, well, I don't think you should be alone with him.
09:22Max, you sound like you're jealous.
09:25Jealous?
09:26Now, that's ridiculous, 99.
09:29It's just that that man might turn out to be a dangerous kisser.
09:32Uh, killer.
09:35Something about those two.
09:38Something peculiar.
09:40What do you mean?
09:42I'm sure I've seen that man before.
09:46Take this picture, and we'll check it through chaos headquarters.
09:48I'll keep the girl busy.
09:50Oh, Miss Westbrook.
09:51Yes, Mr. Savage.
09:53Please, call me Rex.
09:55Thank you.
09:56Please call me Melissa.
09:57Melissa, take a look at these.
09:59Well, sir.
10:00Just call me Maxwell.
10:02Maxwell.
10:03There's a painting over here I think you ought to see.
10:06I'd love to.
10:07It's just over here.
10:09I think this is one of the finest examples of realistic painting that we've ever hung.
10:15The camera.
10:18How provocative.
10:21If you look a little more closely, you'll see that the painter has included every detail.
10:30Marvellous work, isn't it?
10:32Is there anything else I could show you?
10:34Yes.
10:35How about some cold compresses for my eyes?
10:40It's the funniest looking painting I've ever seen.
10:42Miss Westbrook, are you ready to leave now?
10:44Oh, Mr. Savage is going to drive me home, Maxwell.
10:46You can go on ahead.
10:47Well, what about me?
10:48I mean, why can't I drive the two of you?
10:50A two's company.
10:51Three's a crowd.
10:52Well, maybe I could get a friend.
10:54Just the two of us.
10:55That'll be all, Maxwell.
10:57It's a beautiful evening.
10:58I thought perhaps we might take a drive through the park.
11:00Oh, Mr. Savage.
11:02Yes?
11:03Oh, Mr. Savage.
11:05Yes?
11:33Hello, Chief?
11:44Max.
11:45I'm in Lover's Lane.
11:47Listen, Chief, before I fill you in, I want you to give a message to Parker at the lab.
11:52Tell him that there are a few adjustments needed on the steering wheel foam.
11:55Every time I turn the corner, I dial the operator.
11:58Never mind that, Max.
11:59Just give me your report.
12:01Right, Chief.
12:0599 is in the car with Savage.
12:07She's still trying to get his fingerprints.
12:13I think he's beginning to help her.
12:16I hope you're not in Lover's Lane by yourself.
12:18It could draw attention to you.
12:20Don't worry, Chief.
12:21I have my inflato girl with me.
12:24Okay, Max.
12:25I'll check in later.
12:35This moonlight is made to order.
12:37Oh, it's just perfect.
12:40Do you know something?
12:43What?
12:44Your glove is scratching my cheek.
12:47Would you mind terribly just...
12:49Why, of course not, my dear.
12:51I'm sorry.
12:52Oh, it's nothing, really.
13:03Is that better?
13:05Just lovely, thank you.
13:18All right, fella.
13:19What are you doing up here?
13:21Actually nothing, officer.
13:22We're just sitting here looking at the trees.
13:26Now, what about that dummy?
13:29Well, this is Lover's Lane, isn't it?
13:31I'd look pretty peculiar sitting up here by myself.
13:34What kind of weirdo are you?
13:36Oh, I don't know.
13:37Just a plain, normal, everyday weirdo, I guess.
13:41I think you better tell me what you're doing up here.
13:44Well, I can explain, officer.
13:45You see, I needed a girl, and I carry this one in my trunk.
13:52Let me put it this way.
13:54This isn't really my girl.
13:55I just use her for emergencies.
14:01You see, officer, I'm a secret.
14:05Now, I better not reveal my identity.
14:20Officer, do you know where I could get a flat fixed?
14:29Max, I told you to be careful and not call attention to yourself.
14:34But I wasn't doing anything wrong, chief.
14:36I was just sitting in my chauffeur's uniform with my rubber dummy.
14:40So what did the police charge you with?
14:42Violating section 387B of the penal code.
14:46Which is?
14:47Sitting in a chauffeur's uniform next to a rubber dummy.
14:51Oh, yes.
14:52I've been trying to get that law repealed for several years.
14:55Who has?
14:56The rubber dummy lobby.
15:01Well, thanks for bailing me out anyway, chief.
15:04Oh, that's all right, Max.
15:06Now, what about Savage's photographs?
15:08Well, I couldn't get any pictures of them.
15:10You what?
15:11I'm sorry, chief.
15:13But I got some buttes of myself.
15:15What about Savage's fingerprints?
15:18Oh.
15:19Well, you know, chief, he wears gloves.
15:21And he never takes those gloves off for a minute.
15:24This is fantastic.
15:26Here we are, one of the best-known secret organizations in the country.
15:30And we can't even get a simple little set of fingerprints.
15:35Chief, I've just made a date with Rex Savage.
15:38He's coming to my apartment for an intimate supper.
15:41You did what?
15:43Did you hear that, chief?
15:45An intimate supper date with that potential killer.
15:48Good work, 99.
15:49Good work, 99.
15:51I knew you'd like our plan, chief.
15:53Apparently, there are only two occasions when Rex takes his gloves off.
15:56One is when he eats, and the other is when he bathes.
15:58He's coming up to my place about 11 o'clock.
16:01Isn't that a little late for a bath?
16:03This is an intimate supper.
16:05Excellent.
16:07Listen, chief.
16:09Why don't they come to my apartment?
16:11And I could act as the butler and keep my eye on Savage.
16:14Good idea.
16:15Your apartment is larger.
16:16It's more the kind of place that Melissa Westbrook might live in.
16:19This may be our chance to get a full dossier on Savage.
16:22Let's go down to the lab.
16:23Right.
16:28This tableware is specially rigged.
16:30When this subject sits down to his meal, the following things will happen.
16:34This chemically treated soup spoon will trigger a camera built into the bottom of a soup plate.
16:39Every time I take a spoonful of soup, the plate takes my picture.
16:42Watch.
16:44What about the flash? Won't he see the flash?
16:47Ah, it'll be absorbed by the soup.
16:50And you'll have to remove the soup plate before he gets to the bottom.
16:53Right.
16:54And this roll is made out of a special composite.
16:59When the subject takes it, it'll make a perfect impression of all of his fingerprints.
17:03Which means that you'll have to get it away from him before he eats it.
17:06Or use another roll.
17:09Anything else, professor?
17:10One more device.
17:11This ball of fruit will give us a sample of the subject's speaking voice.
17:14There's a tape recorder built into this apple.
17:18That's fantastic, professor.
17:20But where's the microphone?
17:22Oh, the microphone.
17:23It's right in here.
17:29In your stomach.
17:30Thank you.
17:35To you.
17:36To us.
17:57To you.
17:58To us.
18:00Melissa, ever since I met you, there's only one thing that I'm able to think about.
18:07What's that, Rex?
18:12Five minutes to dinner.
18:15I thought we were going to be alone tonight.
18:18Oh, Maxwell, he's just here to serve supper.
18:21After that, I assure you, we'll be quite alone.
18:26I hope that this will be the first of many midnight suppers, my dear.
18:30So do I, Rex.
18:39As I was saying, the only thing that I have been able to think about all day is...
18:49Come and get it!
18:51Maxwell!
18:56Well, I guess we had better go eat supper.
19:01Oh, come on, Rex, don't let Maxwell bother you.
19:06Actually, he's been in the family for years and I still don't know how to handle him.
19:10May I suggest the rack?
19:16Thank you, Maxwell.
19:18You're welcome, 99.
19:21What did he call you?
19:23He said, uh, nighty-night.
19:26It's a little game we used to play as children.
19:28Nighty-night, Maxwell.
19:37Try the soup, Rex, I think you'll like it.
19:39What kind is it?
19:40Cream of Technicolor.
19:48Very good.
19:49Very.
19:54That wasn't finished.
19:55We don't want the soup to get cold, sir.
19:57Here.
19:58Why don't you try a roll?
20:01Thank you.
20:09Who could that be?
20:10I'll get it, ma'am.
20:11Thank you.
20:12In the meantime, why don't you two just talk amongst yourselves?
20:17And don't be afraid to speak up.
20:21Uh, Maxwell, tell whomever's at the door to come back tomorrow.
20:25Yes, ma'am.
20:27I wonder if you'd mind coming back tomorrow.
20:30Some people just can't stand rejection.
20:34Stand back and keep your hands up.
20:37Mondo, what are you doing here?
20:39You've been tricked, Savage.
20:40This man is no butler.
20:41You're telling me.
20:43I have a report on his photograph from Chaos Headquarters.
20:45He's Maxwell Smart, an agent for Control.
20:49Max, here!
20:50Good throw, 99.
20:52Good catch, Mondo.
21:02You'll never get away with this, Savage.
21:04Oh?
21:05Why, Mr. Smart?
21:07Because at this very minute, 25 Control agents are converging on this building.
21:12Would you believe it?
21:1325 Control agents.
21:15I find that hard to believe.
21:17Would you believe two squad cars and a motorcycle cop?
21:21I don't think so.
21:24How about a vicious street cleaner and a toothless police dog?
21:29If you were expecting help, it would have been here already.
21:33Now, my dear Melissa, you are going to paint Mr. Smart to death.
21:39Yes, this can contains explosive paint with a timing device mixed in.
21:45This paint contains a vibration explosive that detonates the moment a window or a door is slammed.
21:51And this can contains nitro floor paint.
21:55It explodes the instant anyone steps on it.
21:57Now, you.
21:59Start painting Mr. Smart with the time explosive mixture.
22:10Nitro floor paint.
22:12That's right. One false move and you'll be blown to kingdom come.
22:14Come on, Max.
22:18Good work, 99.
22:19Well, we've done it again.
22:21They think just because we're on the side of good that we're soft.
22:25But what they don't know is that we're tough and hard and do a very nice job.
22:30That's why they're trapped in this room and can't get out.
22:33Come on, 99.
22:34Wait a minute. Don't move.
22:35You're in the same position as we are.
22:37You can't leave this room either.
22:38If you take one step, we'll all be blown to bits.
22:40That's right.
22:45Got any ideas, Max?
22:50Well, why don't we all join in a big chorus of help?
22:56Help!
22:58Shh!
23:00The vibration paint.
23:03The vibration paint.
23:28Well, that finishes up the apartment, 99.
23:31A nice, fresh paint job.
23:33You did a beautiful job, Max.
23:34Oh, thank you, 99.
23:36You know, when the chief rescued us and I saw all these cans of paint lying around Savage's art gallery,
23:40I figured I might as well put them to good use.
23:43Well, what do you say we go down to the diner and I buy you a cup of coffee while the paint dries?
23:47Lovely.
23:50Max, are you sure this paint's all right?
23:53Of course it is.
23:54I checked every can of paint in the gallery and memorized the non-explosive ones.
23:59Come on.
24:01Let's go.
24:15Max!
24:16Don't worry, 99. I covered the furniture.
24:31Help!
25:01Help!