Los Angeles ride share pool that turns into a road trip to Paradise HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
Los Angeles ride share pool that turns into a road trip to Paradise HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The number one, don't you stop bumpin', stop bumpin', baby, cross the line.
00:00:05Last night I thought you were here, hey boy, I'll catch you this year.
00:00:09You have to kiss me or miss me.
00:00:11Ten minutes?
00:00:13God, I should have just driven myself.
00:00:16Phew, okay.
00:00:18It's perfect.
00:00:20This is perfect.
00:00:23Girls, breakfast!
00:00:25Mommy's going away for the weekend.
00:00:27Mom!
00:00:27Yeah?
00:00:28Can you take my iPad?
00:00:29Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, stop that, now!
00:00:32Peter!
00:00:32Listen to your mother.
00:00:34Peter!
00:00:34Rose?
00:00:35She started it!
00:00:36Hey, she's just a baby!
00:00:38I'm not!
00:00:38Okay, okay, give me that, give me that.
00:00:41Sit down, sit down please.
00:00:44There's no technology at the table because meal time is sacred, goddammit!
00:00:47Right, Peter?
00:00:47Yep, rule number one.
00:00:50Hey, hey, hey, no balls at the table!
00:00:52Rule number sixteen.
00:00:54I hate you, Mom!
00:00:57Well, that's not very nice.
00:00:58I'm going to take your photo now.
00:00:59Smile!
00:01:01Great!
00:01:03That's good enough.
00:01:04Don't forget, we have that meeting with the assessment team on Monday to have her classified...
00:01:07Don't touch me, Rose!
00:01:08...for ADHD.
00:01:09Don't touch me, Ruby!
00:01:11Kids are over-classified and over-medicated.
00:01:14Gross!
00:01:15Someone forgot to flush the toilet.
00:01:16Again!
00:01:19Jenny!
00:01:20You know the rules.
00:01:21Oh, please, look who's talking.
00:01:23Where is he?
00:01:24How come Mom gets her phone?
00:01:26Gross, what is that?
00:01:27Looks like puke.
00:01:28It's kale and it tastes delicious.
00:01:30Ah, he's here.
00:01:32Okay.
00:01:33Alright, I'm leaving.
00:01:39Do not forget to feed them, okay?
00:01:40I got it covered.
00:01:41Hey, just enjoy your Mommy Weekend, okay?
00:01:43It's not a Mommy Weekend, it's a work conference.
00:01:45Well, work involves a paycheck, so just saying.
00:01:48Well, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, I'm just saying.
00:01:51Goodbye.
00:01:52Goodbye.
00:01:56You're right, that's puke.
00:01:58Okay, Mommy's going away for the weekend.
00:01:59She's never, ever coming back.
00:02:02Bye-bye, Mom.
00:02:03Have fun.
00:02:06Okay, boarding pass is in my wallet.
00:02:10I have enough time to order a salad before I board the gate.
00:02:21Okay, fine, I don't need help, it's cool.
00:02:23You're Jenny?
00:02:24Yeah.
00:02:24Jenny?
00:02:25Yes.
00:02:26Alright, I am Mark with a C.
00:02:27I know, I can read.
00:02:29Alright, I'm very late.
00:02:37Relax, you'll get there, wherever there is.
00:02:42I got these delicious things.
00:02:43No, no, no, no, no, I'm good.
00:02:44And lollipops.
00:02:45Thank you, I'm good.
00:02:47Okay, it's a no.
00:02:56Oh, my God, okay.
00:03:02Alright, Mommy's going away for the weekend.
00:03:06Mommy's going away for the weekend.
00:03:11So, where are we flying to?
00:03:15Vegas.
00:03:16Yep.
00:03:17Vegas.
00:03:19For a conference, because I'm a blogger.
00:03:22Oh, me too.
00:03:24Oh, well, I've only been at it for a few months.
00:03:28Sweet, so what do you like to write about?
00:03:32Motherhood and family, angst, you.
00:03:36Nihilism, anarchy, angst.
00:03:40Wait.
00:03:42Oh, ways, okay, because it's rush hour.
00:03:45I should have left myself more time.
00:03:47Actually, I did.
00:03:49Wait.
00:03:51No, no, no, where are you going?
00:03:53Yeah, you pushed pull, so.
00:03:54No, I didn't.
00:03:55Yeah, I'm picking up our next rider, so.
00:03:57I hate these stupid apps.
00:04:00Well, how much does it cost to switch?
00:04:02You can't, so.
00:04:03What do you mean, I can't?
00:04:04Relax, Jen.
00:04:05Don't tell me to relax.
00:04:07My name is Jenny, and what is that?
00:04:10That we, no, no thank you very much.
00:04:12You don't, while you're driving.
00:04:15I am straight edge, so.
00:04:18It's cool, your choice, your body.
00:04:20Your body, your choice.
00:04:36I'll relax when I get there.
00:04:43Hi.
00:04:44Kara?
00:04:45Kara, with a K.
00:04:46Oh, it's Mark, with a C.
00:04:49No way.
00:04:50Way, yeah.
00:04:51Well, not that anybody asked, but I'm Jenny with a Y.
00:04:55Wait, like Yenny?
00:04:57Right here.
00:04:58Can we just go?
00:04:59Just, let's just go.
00:05:01What's with her?
00:05:03Who knows?
00:05:06What are we listening to?
00:05:08These are binaural beats.
00:05:10Like, like, like, like.
00:05:13Where are you going?
00:05:15LAX.
00:05:17Oh, okay, now I get the mood.
00:05:20I'm an intuitive, so.
00:05:23Where are you flying?
00:05:25Vegas.
00:05:26Oh, fun, pool parties?
00:05:28It's a work conference.
00:05:29She's a mommy blogger.
00:05:32Oh, okay, gotcha.
00:05:35Do you?
00:05:36For both of your information, I happen to be an Emmy Award winning news journalist, so.
00:05:41I mean, I was.
00:05:44Whatever, you know how they say it's not like you're curing cancer?
00:05:47I worked in medical research curing cancer, so.
00:05:51But I'm an actress now, and I'm going to Barry's Boot Camp.
00:05:53My friend works there, the one in Venice, so I get in for free.
00:05:56And I am very eco-conscious, and I don't own a car.
00:05:59It's all meaningless.
00:06:00Exactly.
00:06:02Where are we going?
00:06:03Oh, yeah, this is our last stop.
00:06:04Go to North Hollywood, gin, chill.
00:06:06We are going to get there.
00:06:26Can we go now?
00:06:27Yeah.
00:06:28Yeah, if you're late, they lock you out of boot camp, so.
00:06:30Oh.
00:06:31Who's here?
00:06:39Sean.
00:06:41Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me. You gotta be kidding me.
00:06:44Hell is other people.
00:06:50Seriously, I have been puked on already once tonight.
00:06:52Oh, God, that's so gross. I thought I smelled that.
00:06:55I knew it. I'm really sensitive to that smell because I was bulimic in high school, so.
00:07:02Oh.
00:07:09Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:07:13Wait.
00:07:15Wait.
00:07:16You gotta be kidding me.
00:07:17First stop, Sean's going to Culver City.
00:07:19It's right before the airport.
00:07:21Ooh, ooh, and then me, right?
00:07:23No.
00:07:24No, not then her.
00:07:26Then me.
00:07:27Let's see what the app has to say.
00:07:29I don't care what the app has to say.
00:07:31It's writing a very strong email. Remind me to write a very strong email.
00:07:41I'm going to miss my flight and the opening night.
00:07:43Cocktail party?
00:07:44Oh, you definitely could use a cocktail, Jenny.
00:07:47Get out, please. Now.
00:07:49Someone said cocktail.
00:07:50Seriously?
00:07:51Jen, it's not our fault you didn't leave enough time.
00:07:54But yeah, I mean, it would have made a lot more sense to fly out of Burbank.
00:07:57Fuck! God damn it!
00:07:59Don't!
00:08:00Jen.
00:08:01What?
00:08:02Guys, I gotta get to Paradise.
00:08:05We're gonna get you to the area of Puerto.
00:08:07What?
00:08:09He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!
00:08:11What?
00:08:12He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!
00:08:13Guys, guys, I'm not kidding.
00:08:15He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!
00:08:17It's not even loaded, okay?
00:08:20It's not even loaded, okay?
00:08:24Oh, God.
00:08:25Why do you have a gun, man?
00:08:27To kill myself.
00:08:29Okay, wrong answer, dude.
00:08:31I'm not gonna.
00:08:33Make sure the safety's on.
00:08:35I tried to kill myself.
00:08:37In 10th grade.
00:08:38I was bullied.
00:08:40Look, Sam.
00:08:42Sean.
00:08:43Sean, I'm sorry. It's gonna be okay.
00:08:45It's fine. I can't. I think.
00:08:48Oh, okay. That's good.
00:08:50Hey, can you take me to Paradise?
00:08:52Not on the app.
00:08:55My credit card's all maxed out.
00:08:57I just...
00:08:58I have cash.
00:08:59I have 250, and that's all I got.
00:09:04Cash rules.
00:09:06Oh, wait. Paradise, Nevada.
00:09:09Yeah.
00:09:10Fuck.
00:09:13Sean, why...
00:09:15Why did you feel like you had to do this?
00:09:17I mean, do you mind sharing?
00:09:21She went back to Paradise.
00:09:23Who?
00:09:24Dawn and...
00:09:26Sean, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
00:09:28But it's just my flight is boarding right now.
00:09:30I don't mean to be insensitive.
00:09:32But, um, Mark?
00:09:33Hmm?
00:09:34How long would it take for you to drive to Paradise?
00:09:37Um, or to Vegas right now?
00:09:39Here to there?
00:09:40It's like, uh, five hours.
00:09:43Five hours, yes.
00:09:44That's about five hours.
00:09:46Okay, I'm gonna throw in another 250,
00:09:49and we're just gonna drive there.
00:09:51If we leave right now, I can still make it there.
00:09:53I can shower, I can sheet mask.
00:09:55I will make it there in time for the cocktail party.
00:09:57Ooh, actually, can I go too?
00:09:58What?
00:09:59Wow.
00:10:00No, what about Barry's boot camp?
00:10:01I didn't really want to go.
00:10:02I didn't want to exercise today.
00:10:04So, that all works out for me.
00:10:07Can I, like, Venmo you guys my part?
00:10:09Are you gonna take us or not?
00:10:12Wow.
00:10:13What a freight train.
00:10:15Um, so much to process.
00:10:17The ins and outs, the pros and cons and what-have-yous.
00:10:19The whys, the what-fors.
00:10:22Yes, I'm answering in the affirmative.
00:10:25I will shepherd you.
00:10:27First, we just have to make a quick stop.
00:10:29Okay, as long as it truly is quick.
00:10:31Was I not clear?
00:10:33Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:35I need to sit in the front seat.
00:10:37I'm sorry, I get car sick easily.
00:10:39I'm always the designated driver.
00:10:41And, um, no offense, Sean.
00:10:43I'm really, really happy that you chose life,
00:10:45but right now you smell like death.
00:10:47Is that okay with everyone?
00:10:49Yeah.
00:10:50Great.
00:10:55Salutations.
00:10:56Hello.
00:10:57Yeah, please. Seat belts, policy.
00:11:00Yep.
00:11:01Preservation, you understand.
00:11:02Okay.
00:11:03The light forces.
00:11:04Start the car, please.
00:11:06All right.
00:11:07Drive.
00:11:08I'm doing it, you can see me.
00:11:11I want to just put this below.
00:11:13Yeah, just put this below there.
00:11:14Okay.
00:11:15Where are we going?
00:11:17What's this quick stop?
00:11:18Lucas.
00:11:19Yeah, but your contract said tickets to the premiere.
00:11:22That wasn't screened.
00:11:24It's on the way.
00:11:26Yeah, yeah, I could talk to him, but did you read it?
00:11:29I get that between here and there, but where exactly?
00:11:32And I'll call the producer.
00:11:33Just read it, okay?
00:11:35Thank you.
00:11:36Boyle Heights.
00:11:41Are you, like, a...
00:11:43Talent agent, yeah.
00:11:44I'm an actress.
00:11:46I have a manager.
00:11:47I'm...
00:11:48She doesn't do much.
00:11:49I'm thinking about firing her.
00:11:51That's in East L.A.
00:11:53Si, senora.
00:11:54East Lowe's.
00:11:55Oh, that's actually near the Staples Center.
00:11:57I had a call back there once.
00:11:59Yeah, but I didn't get the part.
00:12:06Ooh.
00:12:07I just...
00:12:09I just got a comment on my blog.
00:12:12It's huge.
00:12:13Comments are commerce.
00:12:15That is the first panel I'm going to tomorrow after...
00:12:19Yes.
00:12:21Desert yoga.
00:12:24I wrote a blog post about taking my stepdaughter shopping for her first bra.
00:12:31Okay, maybe it's not how to organize a sustainable protest,
00:12:34but it's funny, poignant, and relatable.
00:12:37Uh-huh.
00:12:39I hate you.
00:12:40She's a troll.
00:12:41She's my stepdaughter.
00:12:45How'd this become my life?
00:12:46Aw.
00:12:47I hate my mother, too.
00:12:49Excuse me?
00:12:51Let go, ladies.
00:12:52Come on.
00:12:54She just cut me off last week,
00:12:55but what she doesn't realize is that my phone is still on the family plan.
00:12:59Ha-ha.
00:13:00First world problems.
00:13:02But you know what?
00:13:03Problems are still problems, okay?
00:13:05All right.
00:13:20I used to be on local news.
00:13:22On airfield producer.
00:13:25You know, the Emmy.
00:13:27In Vegas, actually.
00:13:29Ironically.
00:13:30Anyway, back to the scene of the crime.
00:13:33Did you kill someone, Jen?
00:13:35Ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:13:36No, it's where I met my husband and I got pregnant.
00:13:39And my former self.
00:13:41Oh.
00:13:42So who are you now, Jen?
00:13:45Only you now.
00:13:47Okay, that's deep.
00:13:50I wanted to do.
00:13:53You did?
00:13:54Yeah.
00:13:56Okay.
00:13:57You did?
00:13:58Yeah.
00:13:59Organic chem major.
00:14:02Went to Berkeley.
00:14:04Middlebury.
00:14:09Oh my God.
00:14:10I'm so sorry.
00:14:11Sean, we've been so self-absorbed.
00:14:13How are you doing?
00:14:14How are you feeling?
00:14:17Hungover.
00:14:20Empty.
00:14:22You were going to tell us why we were driving to...
00:14:25Paris.
00:14:26Paradise.
00:14:27Yeah, I mean, do you want to talk about it?
00:14:28I don't know if you want to talk about it.
00:14:29I like talking about things.
00:14:30I don't know if you...
00:14:31I fucked it all up.
00:14:34All of what?
00:14:36My life.
00:14:49I can't get her out of my mind.
00:14:52Classic Leo.
00:14:53That's so funny.
00:14:54That's so funny.
00:14:55I was going to say the exact same thing because, of course, I'm a Libra.
00:14:58Of course.
00:14:59Pisces.
00:15:00Oh, naturally.
00:15:01You see it?
00:15:02So naturally.
00:15:03Yeah.
00:15:04Oh my gosh.
00:15:05You know what?
00:15:06Jen, we know what you are.
00:15:07Do we know what you are?
00:15:08We know exactly what you are.
00:15:09Well, you are a Capricorn.
00:15:10Capricorn.
00:15:11You're a Capricorn.
00:15:12Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:15:13Are we right?
00:15:14I hate you both.
00:15:15Oh my gosh.
00:15:17So, tell us more, Sean.
00:15:23Well, I met Dawn at a weed shop in WeHo.
00:15:31I'd never seen her there before.
00:15:33I mean, not like I go often, but...
00:15:40She was a hippie chick.
00:15:44She was a hippie chick gypsy type.
00:15:47Ethereal, petite, fragile, with a touch of punk.
00:15:51She was wearing one of those long flowing Haight-Ashbury skirts and a black Ramones beater shirt.
00:15:56One of her ears was loaded with piercings and she had a rose tattoo on the inside of her arm.
00:16:00Her long, dirty blonde hair had pink tips.
00:16:04What do they call that?
00:16:06Ombre.
00:16:07Looked completely dumb on me.
00:16:08But, you know.
00:16:09You know.
00:16:10Anyway.
00:16:11I'm...
00:16:12I just keep going.
00:16:15How can I help you?
00:16:17Talk about a loaded question.
00:16:19I felt this amazing warmth emanating from her.
00:16:22Call it crazy stupid love at first sight.
00:16:24I had really bad shoulder pain from an old baseball injury.
00:16:28Played in college and then tweaked to playing softball.
00:16:31I just went through a really nasty breakup.
00:16:33I was vulnerable and in pain.
00:16:35Both psychic and physical.
00:16:38And stress.
00:16:40So much fucking stress.
00:16:58You know, you're carrying a lot of negative energy.
00:17:02It's blocked.
00:17:04But weed will definitely help.
00:17:06She told me she was a Reiki master.
00:17:11I'm a Reiki master.
00:17:13I do energy work.
00:17:15I can help you to release all that negative energy.
00:17:18I started seeing her as a patient and then...
00:17:25She became the yin to my yang.
00:17:32Until...
00:17:35Until what, man?
00:17:40You know what?
00:17:41Put a pin in it.
00:17:43Tell me after I go see this guy.
00:17:49Can I have one of those?
00:17:51Oh, yeah, sure.
00:17:55What?
00:17:56No judgment.
00:17:57Don't you have someplace to go?
00:17:59I didn't even see that, Jenny.
00:18:01I'll be right back.
00:18:03I recommend you take half.
00:18:05I'll have the other half.
00:18:08And I'll eat the head.
00:18:11You can eat the butt.
00:18:21Hey, Ari.
00:18:22What up?
00:18:23Good.
00:18:24There he is.
00:18:25You good?
00:18:26Yeah, you know.
00:18:27Do you think I should take a photo of you?
00:18:29Do you think I should take a photo of him just in case?
00:18:32There's a photo of him on the app, silly.
00:18:34No, I mean of just this location.
00:18:36It'll be geotagged and I can send it to my husband.
00:18:39Feels right.
00:18:40All right.
00:18:44What's in the bag?
00:18:45BC, BC.
00:18:47What is in the bag?
00:18:48What is in the bag?
00:18:50Yeah.
00:18:51What is in the bag?
00:18:52Excuse me, what are you putting at my feet?
00:18:54The bag.
00:18:56All these questions you're asking are rhetorical.
00:18:58Who's ready?
00:18:59Okay, guys.
00:19:00Next stop?
00:19:01Paradise.
00:19:02Paradise, indeed.
00:19:24So, like, what happened, Sean?
00:19:27What happened?
00:19:28I was a total dick.
00:19:30That's what happened.
00:19:31I was an asshole.
00:19:32This actress was hitting on me.
00:19:35You know, it comes with the territory.
00:19:37I'm an agent, but I had a meaningless one-night stand with her.
00:19:42Totally regret it.
00:19:44That's some bad shit.
00:19:46Like I said, I'm an asshole.
00:19:49Seriously.
00:19:50But whatever, you know, life has no intrinsic value anyway, so.
00:19:54I hate myself so much right now.
00:19:57One bad fucking choice.
00:20:05I was on Dawn's table.
00:20:08Then she said.
00:20:10I feel something.
00:20:12Yeah.
00:20:13Work's been...
00:20:14Perhaps.
00:20:16No.
00:20:18This is new.
00:20:20Different.
00:20:23I cheated on you.
00:20:24I love you, Dawn, more than life itself.
00:20:26Can you ever forgive me?
00:20:29Then she said.
00:20:31There's too much negative energy in Los Angeles.
00:20:36She packed up her things and went to Paradise, Nevada, where she's from.
00:20:41We haven't spoken since.
00:20:43It's just only been a week, but...
00:20:46Feels like forever.
00:20:49Do you really think that she's gonna take you back?
00:20:51I highly doubt it, but I gotta try, right?
00:20:53You know, take some action.
00:20:55Hashtag truth.
00:20:57But, if it's any consolation, every humiliation in your life, in the end, is totally forgotten, you know?
00:21:06I was cheated on.
00:21:09It was freshman year of college, and I was, like, going through, like, a lesbian phase.
00:21:15It was vicarious, you know?
00:21:17And I was kind of naive in college.
00:21:20I don't know, I met this girl, and she was so cool.
00:21:23And she fucking cheated on me.
00:21:25And then I was devastated, and I had, like, a nervous breakdown.
00:21:28And my parents had an intervention, and they're like, you gotta get back to boys.
00:21:32And, uh, you know, really, they're not even better.
00:21:35So, I don't know.
00:21:39Heartache just fucking hurts.
00:21:42Well, that could just be some heartburn.
00:21:44I mean, I have stuff in my bag for that, because, you know, you've been drinking.
00:21:48I'm just saying.
00:21:49Did you know that you have neurons in your heart?
00:21:51What do you mean, like, brain cells?
00:21:52Here, take two.
00:21:55Take two.
00:21:58Yeah, man, you know, feelings are great and all, but don't keep them trapped inside.
00:22:03Release.
00:22:05Easier said than done.
00:22:07My dad cheated on my mom, too.
00:22:10Sorry.
00:22:12My parents, I mean, they didn't have time to cheat.
00:22:15They didn't have time for a recreation.
00:22:17They didn't have time to cheat.
00:22:18They didn't have time for a recreational sex.
00:22:36Hey, guys, can we stop for coffee?
00:22:38I'm just really tired, and I'm all out of Adderall.
00:22:47Okay, fine.
00:22:48Yeah, alright.
00:22:51They have this convenience store, and they work their asses off for me and my sister.
00:22:56Well, my grandparents basically raised us.
00:22:58They didn't have time for anything except for our basic needs.
00:23:01And then my mom, she doesn't understand why I gave up my career for my kids.
00:23:06She shouldn't complain. I gave her grandkids.
00:23:08Large black coffee.
00:23:11Um, uh, I'm just wondering, what are your milk alternatives on there for the extra dollar fifty?
00:23:16Yeah, almond, cashew, Brazil, peanut, uh, cashew, hemp.
00:23:20I said cashew, apologies.
00:23:22Rice, hemp, two percent.
00:23:25Petunia in the florals.
00:23:27Orange, carrot, pea.
00:23:29Regular milk, if you want to.
00:23:31Regular. I will do regular milk.
00:23:32Uh, and what kind of sugar options do you guys have?
00:23:35Do you have, like...
00:23:36Splenda, Equal, Stevia, Agave.
00:23:39Sucralose, Droplets, Liquid Nitrogen.
00:23:43More Droplets.
00:23:45Sugar, raw, brown, organic, non-organic, if you really want to go there.
00:23:54Okay, yeah, we're good.
00:23:56Well, mom was an activist, and dad was a radical.
00:24:01Mom was the first in our family to go to college.
00:24:03Berkeley, too. You know, back when Berkeley was like, Berkeley, right?
00:24:07Yeah, mom was like a true, bra-burning, feminist, Latina hell-raiser.
00:24:14Dad was, like, angry Black Panther. Emphasis on angry.
00:24:19Did some time.
00:24:21My dad cheated, too.
00:24:24He is a dick.
00:24:28Well, I'm a dick.
00:24:31Father like son.
00:24:33Own your choices. Free will.
00:24:36Wow.
00:24:37Right?
00:24:38It's comforting to know that my life sucks because I willed it.
00:24:42Namaste.
00:24:43Our choice isn't even a good thing.
00:24:46Are you guys fucking out of your mind? Did you say our choice is a good thing?
00:24:50Jenny, holy crap, we live in a time and in a culture where it's okay for women to make their choices.
00:24:56That is so important. We are so lucky.
00:24:59This is unbelievable that we have this.
00:25:01People have sacrificed so much for that to be possible.
00:25:04I mean, I marched in D.C. I am a fourth-wave, card-carrying, feminist.
00:25:08Fuck.
00:25:09Oh, my God.
00:25:11Okay, wow.
00:25:12Those are strong little squirrel bits. They're very deceiving.
00:25:15Even though people think that we hit men, we don't do that.
00:25:17I was just emphatic about this, and I have been, and I use the arms.
00:25:20Whoa, it's close again.
00:25:21Oh, my God.
00:25:22I'm sorry.
00:25:23I'm sorry. I'm just so stoned. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:25:28Stoned and sorry at the same time?
00:25:30I was trying to say I'm sorry and I'm stoned at the same time.
00:25:32Stoned?
00:25:33Stonied.
00:25:36I can't get her out of my head.
00:25:39I can't get her out of my head.
00:25:41You know, I marched, too, in the Los Angeles area.
00:26:10With my stepdaughter and my daughters.
00:26:14It felt really good. It felt important, like we were part of something.
00:26:18Did you write a groundbreaking blog about it?
00:26:22Screw you both.
00:26:24I just felt like it was supposed to be easier, you know, different.
00:26:28I hear you.
00:26:29Because you got participation trophies just for showing up.
00:26:32And told unconditionally that you were special.
00:26:35News flash.
00:26:36We can't all be special, can we?
00:26:39I can't get her out of my head.
00:26:41Yeah. Well, that, my friend, is positive nihilism.
00:26:44All that matters is what we deem as important.
00:26:47That is freedom.
00:26:49Hm. Whatever.
00:26:51I am essentially homeless, you guys.
00:26:54I mean, I just wrapped up a dog-sitting gig in Beverly Hills and...
00:26:59I don't know, I have like $300 left in my name and it... it sucks.
00:27:04It sucks.
00:27:07My mom was helping me out for a while, but, I mean, it cut me off.
00:27:13I don't know, I just need like, I need like a steady, just like, gig of side hustle things so that I can keep going to auditions.
00:27:20Have you ever thought it might be time to, uh, maybe, I don't know, give up the dream?
00:27:26I'm not giving up my dream. You sound like my mom. Jesus Christ.
00:27:29I'm sorry, I... jeez, no.
00:27:32It's not what I meant.
00:27:35I don't know if writing about motherhood's my passion anyway.
00:27:39Passion is a lie.
00:27:41What are you, a fortune cookie? I'm a mean fortune cookie.
00:27:44Capitalism tells us to take our passion, to turn it into work, right?
00:27:48Yeah. So that work will set you free.
00:27:51Passion is the big lie that keeps the whole system in place.
00:27:55Well, Mark, if I'm working, then I'm not raising my kids, and if I'm not working, then I'm not a positive role model.
00:28:02I used to actually be a feminist, just like both of you, but now I'm just like this lobotomized zombie mom.
00:28:13Could you be a feminist and stay-at-home mom at the same time?
00:28:18Yes, you can. The definition of feminism is just that you believe in equal rights for men and women, so, yeah, you can do that.
00:28:25Yeah, I know, I, it was just a rhetorical question, guys.
00:28:27Okay, I'm sorry that you feel judged in your life, and you don't know, you have a predicament about what you're going to do,
00:28:33but really, imagine being a single woman with no boyfriend, no career, no kids, in your 30s.
00:28:41I mean, Jesus. You want to be judged? Walk into a holiday party with your mom's friends.
00:28:47No one's judging you.
00:28:49Oh, everybody is judging. You most of all, Mark.
00:28:51Yeah, and actually, women are the worst to each other, yeah.
00:28:57What is your passion, huh? Quoting Philosophy 101?
00:29:01I'm an artist.
00:29:03Oh?
00:29:05Yeah, look, check it out.
00:29:07Oh.
00:29:09Tattoos, see? Tribal, some small.
00:29:11I, sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude just now, I just, they're, they actually are really beautiful.
00:29:17Thank you.
00:29:18I'm also a shaman.
00:29:20You mean a shaman?
00:29:22Right.
00:29:23Yeah.
00:29:24And I sell shit.
00:29:26What kind of shit?
00:29:28Mostly drugs.
00:29:30Did I not say, when we went to that house, that he was a drug dealer?
00:29:34You did say it, but we're not worried.
00:29:36No, no, no, the stuff I picked up this morning, that, no, that wasn't what I usually do.
00:29:40I usually send people psychedelics to the dark web. I set them free.
00:29:45The dark web?
00:29:46Yes, it's also where I host my blog.
00:29:49Okay, this is all very comforting. Thank you.
00:29:51No, the shit that I picked up this morning, that is farm-to-table grade-A organic psilocybin.
00:29:58That's the good shit. Top shelf.
00:30:01Magic mushrooms take me away.
00:30:03Exactly, that's my boy.
00:30:06I've done trips too.
00:30:08Oh, no. Dropping bombs.
00:30:10What?
00:30:12Well, this will be different because it will be guided by me.
00:30:15Yes.
00:30:17I can't take a journey to paradise.
00:30:19But first, I'm taking a journey to paradise.
00:30:24Okay, you can get your hand out of my face.
00:30:26I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That was profound.
00:30:28And did we say we were going to do shows with you?
00:30:31Yeah, you intimated.
00:30:33What?
00:30:35The answer was in your eyes.
00:30:37I mean, I know he was, but...
00:30:39It's done.
00:30:41Let me think about that.
00:30:42Do you want to wear this now?
00:30:44How long does this last?
00:31:02I have to pee.
00:31:04Yeah, me too.
00:31:12Okay.
00:31:40Yeah, I know.
00:31:42The staff, but listen to me.
00:31:44Listen to me.
00:31:46Listen to me.
00:31:48I'm taking a mental health day, Dan.
00:31:52For what?
00:31:54For my mental health!
00:31:57Fuck!
00:32:05Okay, I can totally tell it's a toilet.
00:32:12Shit.
00:32:39Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
00:32:40How are...
00:32:42What?
00:32:44Wait.
00:32:46She pushed Jack off a swing during recess?
00:32:49Well, I'm sure that she didn't mean to.
00:32:52I'm sure it was an accident.
00:32:54Well, have you called my husband?
00:32:57No, I'm just... I'm not really around today.
00:33:00No, Mrs. Wilson, I understand.
00:33:02I understand that there's zero tolerance, but...
00:33:04Well, she didn't mean it,
00:33:06and I completely understand that there's policy,
00:33:07but there's no way that she actually meant to do this.
00:33:12I'm so sorry, Mrs. Wilson.
00:33:14Jack's mom is on the other line.
00:33:16If you could just...
00:33:18Hey, Claire.
00:33:20I'll call my husband.
00:33:22I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
00:33:24I'm so sorry to do this.
00:33:26Hey, Claire.
00:33:28How's he doing?
00:33:30Yeah, we're having her tested next week.
00:33:32I'm so, so sorry.
00:33:34We're getting her tested next week.
00:33:35My daughter's not a...
00:33:37My daughter's not a bully, Claire, okay?
00:33:39She's got a...
00:33:41Claire?
00:33:43Hello?
00:33:45Claire?
00:33:48Peter?
00:33:50Yeah, no, I'm not...
00:33:52I'm not there yet.
00:33:54I'm driving there.
00:33:56I'm not driving...
00:33:58My ride-share driver's driving me from here to...
00:34:01You know, it's not even important right now, Peter,
00:34:03because Rose is in the principal's office.
00:34:05And Jack, she pushed him off a swing.
00:34:07I know, there's zero tolerance.
00:34:09You know what...
00:34:11Stupid school.
00:34:13We pay this money and this, like...
00:34:15No!
00:34:17Well, what do you want me to do?
00:34:19You want me to just go outside and tell this driver
00:34:21that he's got to bring you back to L.A.?
00:34:23I can't do that.
00:34:25Well, I was hoping that you would just
00:34:27cancel the rest of your day and go pick up your daughter.
00:34:29No, I understand.
00:34:31I'm not freaking out.
00:34:33I'm not freaking out.
00:34:35This is taken care of properly.
00:34:37Don't cry.
00:34:39Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
00:34:41Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
00:34:43I really appreciate it.
00:34:46Okay, bye.
00:35:03Fuck!
00:35:06Fuck!
00:35:20You waited?
00:35:22Yeah.
00:35:24You feeling okay?
00:35:26Yeah, thanks.
00:35:30So, I didn't tell you this before,
00:35:32but, um...
00:35:33I actually used to be married.
00:35:36You were?
00:35:38Yeah. Don't sound so surprised.
00:35:40I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that.
00:35:44So, um...
00:35:46What happened?
00:35:48Um...
00:35:50I don't know. We just kind of, like, divorced.
00:35:52Like, the nicest guy in the whole world.
00:35:55Why?
00:35:59Don't you have a mom conference
00:36:00to get to where you can talk to
00:36:02well-adjusted women
00:36:04who are blissfully married?
00:36:11No, it's okay.
00:36:13Um, I'll...
00:36:15If you want to hear about it,
00:36:17I'll tell you about it in the car.
00:36:19I do.
00:36:21Hey, Mark!
00:36:23You looking for UFOs?
00:36:25What are you doing?
00:36:27Lady!
00:36:28Human!
00:36:30Tonight...
00:36:32Tonight is special.
00:36:34It's a lunar eclipse.
00:36:36It's the wolf blood moon.
00:36:38It's the beginning of the Aquarius season.
00:36:40Blood moon? What?
00:36:42Look.
00:36:44Tonight is special.
00:36:46Tonight the moon is closer to the earth
00:36:48than it usually is,
00:36:50and according to folklore,
00:36:52that's when you can hear the wolves howl.
00:36:54Howl!
00:36:58Wait.
00:37:00Wolves?
00:37:02Yes. Canis lupus.
00:37:04Okay, so in the lunar eclipse,
00:37:06the moon is always red,
00:37:08and it's like this giant doorway is just opened.
00:37:10It's a time of completion,
00:37:12of, like, endings,
00:37:14and beginnings, new beginnings.
00:37:16It's the time in your life
00:37:18when you're just really faced with your emotions
00:37:20and confronted with, like, intimate relationships
00:37:21in home and family life.
00:37:23Yes, lunatic canis lupus.
00:37:25Tonight, the biggest challenge will be...
00:37:28ourselves.
00:37:31But okay.
00:37:33We should get going.
00:37:35Somebody's gotta get to a cocktail party.
00:37:40Away!
00:37:42Away!
00:37:44Guys?
00:37:46Wait a second.
00:37:48I don't know if it's, like,
00:37:50the wolf-moon-blood thing.
00:37:56Fuck Vegas.
00:37:58Fuck the conference.
00:38:00Gin, language.
00:38:02I mean, this is my big
00:38:04find-myself-get-away-from-my-kids weekend.
00:38:06You know, why should I be around
00:38:08a bunch of self-righteous mom bloggers
00:38:10who just blog about literally shit?
00:38:12Not that there's anything wrong
00:38:14with blogging about shit, Mark.
00:38:16Let's get Sean to Paradise.
00:38:20Thanks, guys.
00:38:22Can we get some food, though?
00:38:24Absolutely not.
00:38:26I'm hungry. I could eat.
00:38:39After graduating college,
00:38:41I moved back home.
00:38:42Excuse me?
00:38:44At the gas station
00:38:46before you were asking me
00:38:48about why my marriage ended.
00:38:50You were married?
00:38:52Yeah. For, like, a year.
00:38:54When I moved back home
00:38:56after graduating college,
00:38:58I got a job in health care.
00:39:00And there was a guy there.
00:39:02His name was Tim.
00:39:04He was a biomedical engineer.
00:39:06He was 29. I was 23.
00:39:08And he liked me.
00:39:10And what mortgage do you want?
00:39:12So we started dating.
00:39:14He was sweet and cute and smart.
00:39:16And he didn't mind that I was smart, too.
00:39:19Loved that I was goofy and weird.
00:39:21Laughed at my jokes.
00:39:24So when he proposed,
00:39:27I had no reason to say anything.
00:39:30But yes, he did it like a perfect prince
00:39:33that my parents were so proud of me for.
00:39:35I swear to God, my dad was more proud of me
00:39:37the day I got married
00:39:39than when I graduated college.
00:39:40And I went through all the motions.
00:39:42We had a house and a dog
00:39:44and this beautiful wedding.
00:39:46Sounds really nice.
00:39:48It was, but...
00:39:50I was playing a part.
00:39:52And I knew it.
00:39:54It didn't feel right.
00:39:56So I started to manifest.
00:39:58What, like the secret?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:02I started to keep a gratitude journal
00:40:04about why I was so lucky
00:40:06to be Tim's wife.
00:40:08Have him and my family
00:40:10and my job and everything that I did have.
00:40:12And I became obsessed
00:40:14with really becoming this person, you know?
00:40:16Tim's perfect wife.
00:40:18I made a vision board
00:40:20about how to be the best wife
00:40:22for Tim.
00:40:24The vision board became about me
00:40:26being the best actress
00:40:28for me.
00:40:30In high school,
00:40:32I was in drama club.
00:40:34I was a thespian.
00:40:36And I felt the absolute most alive
00:40:38when I was on stage.
00:40:40I always wanted to be an actress.
00:40:42I told Tim that I was going to leave him.
00:40:44That I was going to move to L.A.
00:40:46Everyone thought I was nuts.
00:40:48My best friend, Tim, my family.
00:40:50I don't know.
00:40:52He tried to offer me a settlement
00:40:54and a divorce.
00:40:56He was such a nice guy.
00:40:58But I couldn't take his money.
00:41:00I wouldn't be broke now if I had,
00:41:02but I needed a clean break.
00:41:04Tim's married again
00:41:06to a very nice woman
00:41:09that 110% looks like me.
00:41:14Well, do you have any regrets?
00:41:17Not at all.
00:41:19I think I would have put my head
00:41:21in the oven eventually.
00:41:24Sorry, Sean.
00:41:28What about you?
00:41:30Well, what about me?
00:41:31Do you have any regrets?
00:41:33What about, like, my marriage?
00:41:38Um, no.
00:41:42No.
00:41:44No, I don't.
00:41:47No, I do not.
00:41:49No, I do not.
00:42:05When all the ingredients
00:42:07work together in harmony,
00:42:09it makes for a delicious meal,
00:42:11a singular experience.
00:42:13And grilled cheese?
00:42:15What happens when you have grilled cheese?
00:42:16Sean?
00:42:18Do you want to share with the class?
00:42:20Sorry, guys.
00:42:22I'm writing a letter to Dawn
00:42:24and it's just a piece of shit.
00:42:26Oh, I'm sure it's not.
00:42:28Well, why don't you bounce it off us?
00:42:30We'll help you.
00:42:31Workshop.
00:42:37Hey, babe.
00:42:39What?
00:42:40No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:42Don't.
00:42:43Do better.
00:42:44Yeah.
00:42:46My dearest Dawn.
00:42:48My dearest Dawn.
00:42:49That's good.
00:42:50Very Civil War.
00:42:51Yes.
00:42:52You probably hate me.
00:42:54And you should hate me.
00:42:57Because I hate me too.
00:42:59So that's just
00:43:00one more thing we have in common.
00:43:03I tried to blow my brains out.
00:43:05What?
00:43:06He did.
00:43:07That, yeah, I know, but it's a lot.
00:43:08You know, we don't, we don't,
00:43:09it's a lot of information.
00:43:10we don't need to do this here.
00:43:11I'm sorry, we're going to shut up.
00:43:12Everyone shut up.
00:43:13My dearest Dawn.
00:43:15You probably hate me.
00:43:17And you should hate me.
00:43:19Because I hate me too.
00:43:22So that's one more thing we have in common.
00:43:25I cut out the part about the...
00:43:27Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:43:30I know I'm not worthy of your love.
00:43:32And I need to grow up.
00:43:36I sabotaged the only thing in my life that matters.
00:43:39And I guess I never deserved
00:43:41the happiness you gave me.
00:43:43So I destroyed it.
00:43:45I'll do anything to be with you.
00:43:48Always yours.
00:43:50Sean.
00:43:53I, I, I...
00:43:54Yeah.
00:43:55Okay, because I could rewrite it if it's...
00:43:57No, that was good.
00:43:58That was good.
00:43:59That was really good.
00:44:00And I mean, really,
00:44:01what would you have to lose?
00:44:05Okay.
00:44:06New rule.
00:44:07If we're making this trip to paradise,
00:44:08no more distractions.
00:44:10I'm taking phones.
00:44:12Okay, dude.
00:44:13No.
00:44:14No, no, no, no, no.
00:44:15I can't do that because I have a kid.
00:44:16You got a husband, right?
00:44:17Yes, and he should be able to take care of the kids for one night.
00:44:22Yes.
00:44:23Yes.
00:44:24Here, take it.
00:44:25Awesome.
00:44:26I don't know who I am.
00:44:27All right.
00:44:28You can have it.
00:44:29Hold out.
00:44:30Yeah, you know, I just, I don't, like, personally feel comfortable, like, being, like, disconnected.
00:44:34You know what I mean?
00:44:35I just, I have an Instagram following.
00:44:37You're distracting and deflecting.
00:44:40Fine.
00:44:41Make one more puff.
00:44:42Okay.
00:44:43All right.
00:44:46Okay.
00:44:47Honey, oh, you haven't even eaten any of your food yet.
00:44:50Just have a fry.
00:44:51Here.
00:44:52And now the phone.
00:44:54Okay, when I start to panic and be like, where is it?
00:44:56You know, just remind me.
00:44:58You have it.
00:44:59Now, honey, it's okay.
00:45:00Here.
00:45:01Airplane.
00:45:03I will eat the fry myself.
00:45:06Sometimes the only way from here to there is on the road less traveled.
00:45:10It will make all the difference, Robert Frost.
00:45:13Fuck it.
00:45:14Let's do it.
00:45:15Okay.
00:45:36Sometimes it seems like now the world can't really mean it like that.
00:45:40Some days I see clearly.
00:45:42Some days I can't feel.
00:45:48Entrada.
00:45:50Please, come on in.
00:45:51Oh, my God.
00:45:52Make the space yours.
00:45:53Hi.
00:45:54Isn't it beautiful?
00:45:55Really, really get a feel for it.
00:45:56Sponge it up.
00:45:57Feel it with all of your senses.
00:45:59It's festive.
00:46:02It's like eggnog exploded.
00:46:05It feels like a hug.
00:46:06Yeah, doesn't it?
00:46:07Yeah.
00:46:08Doesn't it?
00:46:09I see aprons.
00:46:10Go, go.
00:46:11Hey, I want you to find something that speaks to you.
00:46:13Have a conversation with it.
00:46:15A positive one.
00:46:16Like a little mystical elf.
00:46:27You're still here.
00:46:28I'm here.
00:46:30Can I have my phone?
00:46:43That's funny.
00:46:44That's really funny.
00:46:46Oh, my God.
00:46:49Are you kidding me?
00:47:00No.
00:47:02No.
00:47:10Not going to happen.
00:47:12Why?
00:47:14Why?
00:47:15Because we're here.
00:47:16I want you to be present.
00:47:17Okay.
00:47:18But, like, I want to remember this.
00:47:20This is fun, and I don't get to go on vacations a lot.
00:47:22Remember it with this.
00:47:24Right there.
00:47:26it with this. Right there. That's right. Let that be your DVR. Okay. Um, but, like,
00:47:36can I have my phone off? Again, I'm gonna be a little oppositional and say no,
00:47:41okay? This is not gonna stop, is it? No. Also, you didn't move, so you made this easy.
00:47:47Take them. Thank you! Come back. Soon.
00:47:56You know, you're not a bad person, um, through your indiscretion. People don't
00:48:08cheat for no reason. Well, mine was because I was drunk and stupid. That's an
00:48:14excuse, that's not a reason. Sometimes you're just unhappy. Yeah, but I was happy.
00:48:20Or, maybe I just didn't think I was entitled to be happy.
00:48:31Where's Kara? I don't know.
00:48:37Kara darling, I'll cover your credit card debt again, only if you come home and get
00:48:55help. Therapy I'll happily pay for. Love you.
00:49:07Hey. You can come get a wet butt with me if you want. Okay.
00:49:20I feel like every decision I've ever made is the wrong one, and I'm just
00:49:41absolutely destined to be old, pathetic, and alone.
00:49:52Wanna hear something crazy? I made all the right choices. College, my career, and
00:50:04still my life fucking sucks. I got this glamorous, stressful job, but between
00:50:13taxes, my student loan, my car loan, I'm pretty much a member of the over-educated
00:50:21working poor. Yeah, it's not so chic in LA. I don't know if or when I won't be
00:50:35living paycheck to paycheck in my shitty apartment in the valley. So, I too will be
00:50:46old, pathetic, and alone.
00:51:03Second stop. Obviously need that. For what? For breakfast. You like breakfast? I like
00:51:12breakfast. I don't eat breakfast. You know when you have a child you can no longer be
00:51:16one. That sucks. I know, that's what my mom taught me. But you know what I've
00:51:23learned, Mark, is that sometimes you just gotta say... What the fuck? Yes. Hot ref.
00:51:323080s. See, that would make a much better blog post than your kid eating
00:51:37broccoli for the first time. It's not the first time I've done shrooms. I've done in
00:51:42college. Yeah, but this is not gonna be like recreational, you know, like during
00:51:47your wild sorority rebellious days. It's gonna reboot that pretty little brain of
00:51:52yours. This is gonna be spiritual. It's gonna be medicinal. And I promise Scout's
00:52:00honor to guide you safely. Very safely. Yeah, I know, from here to there, I get it.
00:52:05To paradise. Yeah. To paradiso. Look, air freshener for your car. You're deflecting
00:52:11third stop.
00:52:25Welcome, my friends, to the show that never ends. Okay, okay. I don't want to.
00:52:34Chill out and give me the shrooms because I need paradise. Bad.
00:52:41Can't be meaningful, but only if you free your mind. Ceremony is mandatory.
00:52:59Knees. What? Knees. We were just clapping. Get on your knees. I'm not getting on my knees. Stay with me here. Come on. Let's play along.
00:53:08Can't get on our knees. Get on your knees. Get up and make it happen. This is the fungus of the genus
00:53:18Psilocybe. We have to surrender to the to the forces of chaos. To the wilderness of
00:53:25the subconscious. We're tapping in to what Jung would call the collective
00:53:31unconscious, which lives within us all. So come with me, won't you? Tell me with
00:53:39your eyes. Tell me only with your eyes. Let's do it. Okay, I mean, sure. My guy. You sat on those. A little. Not like that. I think they were by your feet. Not like that, grasshopper.
00:53:56Open the mandible. It's like taking communion. Exactly. Well done. How does it taste? Like shit on a stick. Oh, great, great, great, great, great. Okay.
00:54:18Do you have to put it in my mouth? I mean, are your hands clean? I mean, do we... Spiritually.
00:54:22Good. The first shall be last. Open. Open wide. Is it in? Oh, God, there it is. Now what? I am trying to open your mind. I can lead you to the door, but only you can walk through it.
00:54:49Morpheus? God of dreams? No. God of matrix. Howl with me.
00:55:00Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl. Howl
00:55:30Howl.
00:56:00Howl.
00:56:02Howl.
00:56:04Howl.
00:56:06Howl.
00:56:08Howl.
00:56:10Howl.
00:56:12Howl.
00:56:14Howl.
00:56:16Howl.
00:56:18Howl.
00:56:20Howl.
00:56:22Howl.
00:56:24Howl.
00:56:26Howl.
00:56:28Howl.
00:56:30Howl.
00:56:32Howl.
00:56:34Howl.
00:56:36Howl.
00:56:38Howl.
00:56:40Howl.
00:56:42Howl.
00:56:44Howl.
00:56:46Howl.
00:56:48Howl.
00:56:50Howl.
00:56:52Howl.
00:56:54Howl.
00:56:56Howl.
00:56:58Howl.
00:57:00Howl.
00:57:02Howl.
00:57:04Howl.
00:57:06Howl.
00:57:08Howl.
00:57:10Howl.
00:57:12Howl.
00:57:14Howl.
00:57:16Howl.
00:57:18Howl.
00:57:20Howl.
00:57:22Howl.
00:57:24Howl.
00:57:26Howl.
00:57:28Howl.
00:57:30Howl.
00:57:32Howl.
00:57:34Howl.
00:57:36Howl.
00:57:38Howl.
00:57:40Howl.
00:57:42Howl.
00:57:44Howl.
00:57:46Howl.
00:57:48Howl.
00:57:50Howl.
00:57:52Loins are required.
00:57:54Okay.
00:57:56Oh my, the desert floor is comfortable.
00:57:59Fuck yeah.
00:58:01Yeah.
00:58:21I can't sleep.
00:58:24Can I tell you about my marriage story?
00:58:27Please.
00:58:29After college, I got into my Ford Escape and I just drove, kind of like this, you know,
00:58:37all the way to this ABC news affiliate job in Las Vegas.
00:58:46It was really a weird time because that was when the financial crisis hit and
00:58:53Peter, who's actually my news director, that's my husband, Occupy Las Vegas was happening.
00:59:01And that is when I actually was nominated for the Emmy.
00:59:08Yeah, that's a really good story.
00:59:12And then I found out I was pregnant and that was the whole other story.
00:59:15I didn't even know I was pregnant because I was so crazy with work, I wasn't keeping track of my period.
00:59:27I puked on one of the protesters.
00:59:32At first I thought it was food poisoning.
00:59:36And Peter and I, we weren't married at the time, so...
00:59:41Well, actually, he was married at the time, but just not to me.
00:59:48Mm-hmm.
00:59:50That's my big secret. I was the other woman.
00:59:57We were having this hot affair, but he and his wife, they were separated.
01:00:05We were separated.
01:00:07Yeah, we were in love, it's just...
01:00:15You know, we were just having fun and it was supposed to be carefree and it wasn't what he signed up for, so...
01:00:27I even thought about maybe getting an abortion.
01:00:32Which I've never said out loud to anybody before, not even Peter.
01:00:45What if I was just a fun rebound girl, you know?
01:00:51Do you love him?
01:00:56I do, yeah.
01:01:02And does he love you?
01:01:06Mm-hmm.
01:01:11You know, I've never talked about this with anybody before.
01:01:17Not even my so-called friends.
01:01:27Thank you for listening.
01:01:30Thank you.
01:01:45Everything, everything all right?
01:01:48Yeah, it's okay. I don't know what to do.
01:01:53Oh, well, I am not a female, but I think you're just kind of cop squad.
01:02:01Let the body do the rest.
01:02:04Okay.
01:02:07Hey, can I have a little privacy?
01:02:10Well, you know there's an element out there. I just want you to be safe.
01:02:14There's creatures out there. You know what, I'll turn my back and...
01:02:18Thank you.
01:02:23Wow.
01:02:26The wolf blood moon.
01:02:28I love staring blankly into it.
01:02:31Oh my God, it's so cold.
01:02:33Yes.
01:02:35The dermis is finally exposed to the atmosphere.
01:02:39It's a beautiful thing.
01:02:42There's no toilet paper.
01:02:46You could try a cactus.
01:02:48You could try a cactus.
01:02:52A little unforgiving.
01:02:56How'd you do?
01:03:00Hey, hey, hey.
01:03:02What's going on? You all right?
01:03:06It's just...
01:03:09You know, everything in my life, it's always come so easy for me.
01:03:14School, sports, work, everything except for motherhood.
01:03:22You know, like what if I'm really bad at this?
01:03:24Oh my God.
01:03:25What if I'm like...
01:03:26No, stop, stop. You are not bad at it.
01:03:29Just stop.
01:03:31Let me ask you, okay?
01:03:34Do you love them unconditionally?
01:03:37Do you love them unconditionally?
01:03:42And...
01:03:44Do you make them feel safe?
01:03:46Yeah.
01:03:47Then you are a good mom.
01:03:49You are.
01:03:51And the rest is icing, right?
01:03:55I gave my mom the craziest wildest run for her money.
01:03:58I was just born a fist clenched.
01:04:02But that was all on me, okay?
01:04:04Because she was a great mom.
01:04:06She is a great mom.
01:04:10She's the best mom.
01:04:14Let what scares you set you free.
01:04:18Let what scares you set you free.
01:04:23Please?
01:04:25Huh?
01:04:28All right.
01:04:31Thank you.
01:04:33It's nothing, you know.
01:04:35It's part of being a shaman.
01:04:37Or a shaman.
01:04:40All right. Can I tell you a secret?
01:04:42Okay.
01:04:44You know those mushrooms?
01:04:46Uh-huh.
01:04:47They weren't Silas Simon.
01:04:49They were Shiitake.
01:04:50From TJ.
01:04:51On sale.
01:04:52Tell no one. It's our secret, okay?
01:04:54Are you...
01:04:55Are you serious?
01:04:57I can't tell if you're joking or not.
01:05:01That's the end of the combo.
01:05:02Just get in. Come on.
01:05:05That's it.
01:05:06It's cold out here.
01:05:31Final stop.
01:05:35Paradise.
01:05:57You got this.
01:05:58You got this.
01:06:00I promise.
01:06:01Face your destiny.
01:06:03With courage.
01:06:04You can do it.
01:06:10See it, be it.
01:06:11Okay.
01:06:12See it, be it.
01:06:16Look how tall he's walking.
01:06:18I know.
01:06:19Don't hold it in.
01:06:28Don't hold it in.
01:06:59Shh.
01:07:04Shh.
01:07:08No problem.
01:07:10What the...
01:07:11Sean?
01:07:12Sean?
01:07:15What are you doing here?
01:07:17Do I need to call the police?
01:07:18No, no, no.
01:07:19Please don't.
01:07:20I...
01:07:23I've been to Paradise, Dawn.
01:07:25Duh.
01:07:26Whatever.
01:07:27Not, not, not, not, not this Paradise.
01:07:29I...
01:07:30Talk about an oxymoron though, right?
01:07:33City of Angels?
01:07:34Yeah, talk about an oxymoron.
01:07:36Touché.
01:07:38Touché.
01:07:40Look, I'm...
01:07:41I'm not stalking you.
01:07:43Well, not in person.
01:07:44I did come here to win you back.
01:07:47I paid my ride share from L.A. to bring me here.
01:07:50Oh, people in the car.
01:07:51Hey.
01:07:53Hi.
01:07:54Hi.
01:07:55It was a pool.
01:07:57Anyway...
01:08:00I was willing to do anything to win you back.
01:08:03I was going to quit my job and stay here as long as I needed to.
01:08:08That was after I contemplated killing myself yesterday.
01:08:12I almost did.
01:08:14Jesus, Sean, that's a...
01:08:16tad dramatic, wouldn't you say?
01:08:19I mean, we dated...
01:08:21three months?
01:08:22Four, actually.
01:08:23Four months, my bad.
01:08:24You were my everything.
01:08:26You were the one, and...
01:08:28and I knew...
01:08:31I thought I couldn't live without you.
01:08:34Yeah, well, suicide.
01:08:35Fucking suicide.
01:08:37It's the most selfish act.
01:08:38I know, I'm the epitome of selfishness.
01:08:41Of self-destructiveness.
01:08:44Was.
01:08:46Dawn, um...
01:08:48Whoa, whoa, what are you pulling out?
01:08:50Yeah, actually, well, this is why I'm here.
01:08:53See, that is your contact.
01:08:55Try to take a selfie.
01:08:56No, that's your contact.
01:08:58The camera was just...
01:09:00I was in the desert, it was very pretty.
01:09:02Here you go.
01:09:03Contact.
01:09:04Gone.
01:09:05Pictures of us?
01:09:07Gone.
01:09:08Well, that was one, but...
01:09:10Text messages, gone.
01:09:12Boom.
01:09:13What was it, what'd you want?
01:09:14Instagram.
01:09:15Okay, Instagram.
01:09:16Gotta go, you have a real problem on that one.
01:09:18Damn, you look good.
01:09:20Here we go.
01:09:21Here we go.
01:09:22Damn, right on time.
01:09:23Unfollow.
01:09:24And a little thing in the...
01:09:25Window open, I saw.
01:09:27Block.
01:09:30Block.
01:09:32There he is.
01:09:33You have a firm handshake.
01:09:34There he is.
01:09:35I'll never forget that.
01:09:36Right?
01:09:37Okay, um, do I...
01:09:38Yeah, yeah.
01:09:39Very proud of you, though.
01:09:41Oh my god, oh my god.
01:09:43Oh my god.
01:09:44It's alright.
01:09:45She needs to get that fixed.
01:09:46Been broken for quite some time.
01:09:47John.
01:09:48I can, well, I won't fix that.
01:09:49Get someone else.
01:09:50Yeah.
01:09:51See ya.
01:09:52Come back, come back, come back, come back.
01:09:53Say goodbye.
01:09:54Thanks guys, bye.
01:09:55Goodbye.
01:09:56Oh my god.
01:09:57It happened.
01:09:58Yeah, new beginnings.
01:10:02You look happy.
01:10:03It's done.
01:10:05Alright man, circle is complete, right?
01:10:07Way to go.
01:10:08You feel okay?
01:10:10Actually, I feel pretty good.
01:10:19Okay.
01:10:20That's, uh...
01:10:21Shall we?
01:10:22Yeah, definitely.
01:10:23Yeah, let's.
01:10:25May we be old and pathetic, but never alone.
01:10:30Did you guys know that paradise is just Las Vegas?
01:10:33Hmm.
01:10:36Paradise.
01:10:50Paradise.
01:11:14I'm with you always.
01:11:17Hello?
01:11:18Mama!
01:11:19Oh my god.
01:11:20Who's here?
01:11:21Hi!
01:11:22Hi!
01:11:23Hello, hello, hello.
01:11:24I missed you.
01:11:25How was your trip?
01:11:26It was good.
01:11:27Uh, you're home early.
01:11:28Yeah, I missed you too.
01:11:29Can I go show you what Daddy got us?
01:11:31Yes, please.
01:11:32Okay.
01:11:33Please, go show me.
01:11:34Hi.
01:11:35Hi.
01:11:36Oh my god.
01:11:37So you look very, um, refreshed.
01:11:40I am.
01:11:41My, um, my brain is rebooted.
01:11:45Is that a good thing?
01:11:47Yeah, it's a good thing.
01:11:48I mean, I'll tell you about it later, but...
01:11:50Okay.
01:11:51I'm just so happy to be home.
01:11:54We are so, so happy to have you home.
01:11:59Where'd you get them?
01:12:00It's top secret.
01:12:01What's that noise?
01:12:02What's that smell?
01:12:16Mmm.
01:12:22Ahhh.
01:12:25Ehhh.
01:12:31Mmm.
01:12:32Mmm.
01:12:33Mmm.
01:12:34Mmm.
01:12:35Mmm.
01:12:36Mmm.
01:12:37Mmm.
01:12:43Mommy.
01:12:44Ay, mijo.
01:12:46Lo que quiera.
01:12:47¿Qué me trajiste?
01:12:48A ver.
01:12:49Vamos a ver.
01:12:50¿Qué es eso?
01:12:51Mole negro de Oaxaca.
01:12:53Mi favorito.
01:12:54SÃ.
01:12:55Ay, gracias, corazón.
01:12:57No problem.
01:12:58¿Qué te dije?
01:12:59Ah, yeah.
01:13:00The rules of the house.
01:13:01No hats in the house.
01:13:03Contra la reglas.
01:13:04I'm sorry.
01:13:05Want a snack?
01:13:06I'm gonna make you a snack.
01:13:08Estás muy flaco.
01:13:12Hey, everyone.
01:13:14My name is Jenny.
01:13:17Actually, I was born with the name Yu Ping.
01:13:21But when I was growing up,
01:13:23that was really hard for my classmates and my teachers to pronounce,
01:13:27so I told everyone, just call me Jen.
01:13:30And then I entered the workforce,
01:13:32and I wanted people to take me seriously,
01:13:34so I said, call me Jennifer.
01:13:38And then I became a mom.
01:13:40I wanted to be fun and accessible,
01:13:43so I said, you can call me Jenny.
01:13:49I just cared so much about what other people thought.
01:13:54Because I thought that if they saw me a certain way,
01:13:57then that would make me happy.
01:14:02You know, we live in this goal-obsessed, self-help, self-obsessed,
01:14:13selfie society.
01:14:15And we think that if we get to this certain place,
01:14:18that we'll be happy.
01:14:22That we'll have found paradise.
01:14:26But paradise isn't a place.
01:14:30It's not a hashtag.
01:14:33It's not about an Instagram post,
01:14:35or how many followers you have,
01:14:37or how many likes it gets.
01:14:40Paradise sounds so cliché.
01:14:46But paradise is about the journey.
01:14:54You know, a friend of mine once told me
01:14:56that you can either choose to look at the anxiety in your life,
01:15:03or you can choose to embrace it.
01:15:05It's my homie.
01:15:09Another friend of mine showed me that
01:15:11people aren't always what they seem.
01:15:14Not always.
01:15:16And another friend showed me that life
01:15:19is absolutely worth fighting for.
01:15:27You know, paradise is about connection.
01:15:31It's about human connection.
01:15:34It's about human connection.
01:15:39And it's about family,
01:15:42and friends,
01:15:45and all the people that we meet
01:15:47on this journey that we call life.
01:15:52And I know that
01:15:55this story is not as perfect as I want it to be,
01:15:59but that's okay.
01:16:01Because, you know, I'm not perfect.
01:16:05This is me.
01:16:10You know?
01:16:12Jenny.
01:16:13Jen.
01:16:14Jennifer.
01:16:16Yenny.
01:16:20Yui Ping.
01:16:31Thank you.