Born Romantic (2000) ⭐ 6.4 | Comedy, Romance
Synopsis: Born Romantic is a 2000 British romantic comedy film directed by David Kane. The movie revolves around a salsa club and explores four interconnected love stories.
Key Characters:
Fergus, a man searching for his high-school sweetheart, who he jilted on the eve of their wedding
Frankie, a charming and Rat Pack-obsessed character, who woos Eleanor
Eddie, a robber, involved in a romantic relationship
The film also features a Greek-chorus-like narrative device, where two cab drivers engage in conversations about sex, providing comedic relief
Themes: The movie explores themes of love, relationships, and romance in modern-day London, showcasing the complexities and quirks of human connections.
Style: Born Romantic is known for its witty dialogue, charming characters, and a blend of humor and poignancy, making it a winning romantic comedy. The film’s use of salsa music and dance adds to its lively and energetic tone.
Key Characters:
Fergus, a man searching for his high-school sweetheart, who he jilted on the eve of their wedding
Frankie, a charming and Rat Pack-obsessed character, who woos Eleanor
Eddie, a robber, involved in a romantic relationship
The film also features a Greek-chorus-like narrative device, where two cab drivers engage in conversations about sex, providing comedic relief
Themes: The movie explores themes of love, relationships, and romance in modern-day London, showcasing the complexities and quirks of human connections.
Style: Born Romantic is known for its witty dialogue, charming characters, and a blend of humor and poignancy, making it a winning romantic comedy. The film’s use of salsa music and dance adds to its lively and energetic tone.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Thank you.
00:00:32Ah, see my, see what my son.
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00:04:45What is a misogynist?
00:04:46You.
00:04:47Yeah, I know that.
00:04:48But what does it mean?
00:04:50A man who hates women.
00:04:53Misogynist is someone who hates marriage.
00:04:58A misanthrope.
00:05:00Hates everybody else.
00:05:02And a malcontent is just never happy.
00:05:05A man who hates women?
00:05:06Well, I don't hate women.
00:05:09Who called you that?
00:05:10Someone called you that?
00:05:12Yeah.
00:05:14You want me to overbite?
00:05:15No, it's not an overbite.
00:05:16She's just got a big chin, that's all.
00:05:17No, the jowl he wants.
00:05:18She ain't jowly, mate.
00:05:19All right?
00:05:22The only thing is that there isn't an equivalent word
00:05:25for misogynist.
00:05:27Like, there isn't a word for women who hate men.
00:05:29You know, not a specific word like there is for us.
00:05:31Well, have you ever had anyone say that word?
00:05:33Have you?
00:05:34No.
00:05:36Is it women can't be sexist?
00:05:39Well, I respect women.
00:05:41Oh, don't get me wrong.
00:05:42So do I.
00:05:46Aye, aye.
00:05:4730 triangles and a club.
00:05:53No.
00:05:54What did you say?
00:05:55You didn't?
00:05:56Yeah, you didn't.
00:05:59Yeah, touche, all right.
00:06:00Look, listen, I'd better go.
00:06:02Yeah.
00:06:03OK, bye.
00:06:04See you.
00:06:06So do we dance or what?
00:06:08I mean, it was your idea.
00:06:09It's like a tangle.
00:06:11Susie's phone.
00:06:13Salsa.
00:06:14Hello, darling, are you?
00:06:15Yeah.
00:06:16Thursday?
00:06:17Yeah, could do, could do.
00:06:19Who?
00:06:20Is he?
00:06:22Yeah, all right, look, listen, I'd better go.
00:06:25Yeah.
00:06:26OK, bye.
00:06:28See you.
00:06:29Salsa.
00:06:30Don't answer that.
00:06:32Susie's phone.
00:06:33Hello, Steve.
00:06:36Here we go.
00:06:40Right.
00:06:41Come on, work.
00:06:43Yeah, go, go, go, go.
00:06:46Right.
00:06:47Come on, work.
00:06:49Yeah, go, go, go, go.
00:07:16Oh, shit.
00:07:19Come on.
00:07:25You're joking.
00:07:28Ray, you little prick.
00:07:45Oh.
00:07:54One.
00:07:55Two.
00:07:57And three.
00:07:58And four.
00:08:00Four at the gate.
00:08:02Good.
00:08:03Yeah.
00:08:08Four at the gate.
00:08:10Yeah, she did actually, she just rang.
00:08:13Hey, look, can I actually ring you back?
00:08:15Yeah, I'm on a date.
00:08:17Yeah.
00:08:22He does actually.
00:08:26Switch it off.
00:08:31Don't do it.
00:08:33Don't answer it, Susie, don't.
00:08:35Don't answer it.
00:08:37Don't.
00:08:38Don't.
00:08:39Susie's phone.
00:08:40Susie, it's Pat.
00:08:41Your handkerchief.
00:08:56What are you doing?
00:08:57What are you doing?
00:08:58Disgusting.
00:08:59Disgusting.
00:09:00Rotten boy.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:02Oh, my God.
00:09:03Oh, my God.
00:09:04Oh, my God.
00:09:05Oh, my God.
00:09:06Oh, my God.
00:09:07Oh, my God.
00:09:08Oh, my God.
00:09:10Me?
00:09:11No, I'm just watching, you see.
00:09:13Honestly.
00:09:14You'll never learn if you don't try.
00:09:16It's my neck, you see.
00:09:18Oh, sorry.
00:09:22Oi.
00:09:23More.
00:09:24What are you doing late there?
00:09:26There must be someone here you haven't slept with.
00:09:28You're right.
00:09:29I've slept with all three of you.
00:09:31And you were all fantastic.
00:09:34Except one.
00:09:35Except one?
00:09:39You see, the problem with the neck
00:09:41is it directs the main sensory organs.
00:09:43So you twisted your neck, then, yeah?
00:09:45Although, having said that,
00:09:46we have less need for a neck than most other animals
00:09:49because we live by our hands more than our ears.
00:09:51On the other hand,
00:09:52our highly developed stereoscopic vision
00:09:54requires a mobile neck.
00:09:56Did you know that the human embryo has gills?
00:09:59We start out with gills, all of us.
00:10:03Thanks for the dance, yeah?
00:10:29So you chuck the band in, just like that.
00:10:31Hey, will this be all right here?
00:10:33And you think you're just going to bump into her in London?
00:10:36Well, you know, make a few calls.
00:10:38Made a list of all her favourite things,
00:10:40you know, a list of her mates and stuff.
00:10:42She liked Bloody Marys.
00:10:44Oh, that'll help, yeah.
00:10:45Yeah, roller skating.
00:10:48And this is eight years ago, right?
00:10:50In the Elgin Marbles British Museum, eh?
00:10:52So you might find her roller skating around the Elgin Marbles
00:10:55drinking a Bloody Mary?
00:10:57Well, you never know, do you?
00:10:59Yeah.
00:11:30You're quite a wizard, the old salsa, aren't you?
00:11:33Sorry, you're not my usual type.
00:11:35Yeah? What's your usual type, then?
00:11:37Tall, dark, handsome.
00:11:42I'm sorry, but I usually go for symmetrical faces,
00:11:45and no offence, but you don't have a symmetrical face
00:11:48and I don't have time to waste.
00:12:00LAUGHTER
00:12:18Do you want to share a taxi?
00:12:20Are you going north?
00:12:22West, not far.
00:12:23Well, I'm north-west.
00:12:25I'm south-west.
00:12:26Well, I'm sort of south and north-west.
00:12:28You really do fancy me, don't you?
00:12:35You going to stay for the club?
00:12:37I'm not sure.
00:12:41Should have seen the dance teacher.
00:12:43I've got a phone number here.
00:12:45Dark, South American, probably.
00:12:47Sex on legs.
00:12:49I tell you what, we need another M.O., man.
00:12:51That stuff's fucking dangerous.
00:12:54What the hell is an absentee gravetender?
00:12:59Can you hold? One sec, thank you.
00:13:01Hello, Kismet Cabs? Yep.
00:13:03So, er, what do you do?
00:13:06I, um, restore paintings at the Institute.
00:13:12I run an easy listening place.
00:13:14Very small, you know, select.
00:13:18I'm bisexual.
00:13:20That's OK, so am I.
00:13:23Well, I'm not really, just thought I should say that.
00:13:26It seems that every woman I meet these days is bisexual.
00:13:30I'm amazed the price of gorgettes hasn't been through the roof.
00:13:33My ex-wife was bisexual.
00:13:36You see, the Dean Martin was bisexual.
00:13:39I don't believe that, you know.
00:13:40Victor Mowen, maybe.
00:13:42You take the first cab.
00:13:47Say, John, go.
00:13:49Good night.
00:13:52Bit of a drink, bit of a dance, you know, the usual.
00:13:56What, no decent men there, then?
00:13:58Decent men?
00:14:00Are you trying to be funny?
00:14:03There is a theory, you know, about...
00:14:06it's just smell.
00:14:08You're unconsciously drawn to someone else because of their smell.
00:14:11It's, er, it registers in your subconscious.
00:14:15So I'm just waiting for the right smell?
00:14:19Yeah, I know, it's just a theory.
00:14:25Do you want to come up?
00:14:27Have a drink? Whatever.
00:14:30Whatever.
00:14:32OK, a shag, then?
00:14:34Married.
00:14:37What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
00:14:40It'll hurt me.
00:14:48Right.
00:15:06You in?
00:15:07Will you piss off, Frankie?
00:15:09You think I'm made of money? There's radiators on all over the place.
00:15:12Will you close the fucking door?
00:15:15All right, pal.
00:15:17I wish that I were in love again
00:15:20Ain't no more strange
00:15:24And I ain't feelin' no pain
00:15:28You say I am sane
00:15:31But I would rather be punched
00:15:34Than be here, leave me stuck
00:15:37I much prefer the classic style of a hitman
00:15:43Maud Docherty!
00:15:56Maud Docherty!
00:16:04What are you doing, Fergus?
00:16:06There are other ways of getting in touch, right?
00:16:09Come inside. You need some sleep.
00:16:22We always have a choice
00:16:30Or at least I think we do
00:16:34We can always use our voice
00:16:42I thought this to be true
00:16:48We can live in fear
00:16:54Extend ourselves to love
00:16:59We can fall below
00:17:05Lift ourselves above
00:17:10Fear can stop you loving
00:17:16Love can stop your fear
00:17:22Fear can stop you loving
00:17:28Love can stop your fear
00:17:49Hello, Loved Ones Limited. How can I help?
00:17:52That doesn't happen to be the sexy dance teacher from the Salsa Club by any chance?
00:17:57Who's this?
00:17:58This is the extra man from last night
00:18:00I just wanted to tell you that you dance the sexiest salsa I've ever seen
00:18:06Thanks. I'm not that good. Thanks very much
00:18:11I'm quite new to it actually
00:18:14You could have fooled me
00:18:16Listen, I found a purse outside the club
00:18:20I think it may belong to you
00:18:22My purse! You found my purse!
00:18:25That's fantastic, thank you
00:18:27Any chance we can meet up and I'll give you it back?
00:18:30Yeah, that would be great
00:18:32Yeah, thanks. When?
00:18:41Kitchen's mine between eight and nine
00:18:44Need an expresso, honey
00:18:46And my bedroom's off limits
00:18:48Hey, we both have to live here until we sell the place, OK?
00:18:52We'll never sell it. It's sinking. It's fucked
00:18:55See, now, a broad with any class would never use that type of language
00:18:59A broad's where you go on holiday
00:19:03Why don't you move in with the mook?
00:19:05Oh, so now he's a mook
00:19:07Last week he was a putz. Why don't you move out?
00:19:09This is my house
00:19:11Yeah, it's my house too
00:19:14He's got his own place
00:19:15Yeah, so have I
00:19:17Well, that's just fine then
00:19:18So will you get out of the kitchen!
00:19:20I'm having a cup of coffee, so piss off!
00:19:29We used to be married, Frankie. We used to be happy
00:19:31It wasn't me that got us here. It's not my fault!
00:19:41Would you say, knowing me as you do, that I had a fear of intimacy?
00:19:46Who said that?
00:19:48You've got that big chin from Gypsy Hill again
00:19:52I don't have a problem with intimacy
00:19:54Let me explain something to you about women
00:19:56They're a wonderful dichotomy
00:19:58For instance, blowjobs. I mean, what's that all about?
00:20:01I mean, what pleasure does a woman get out of that?
00:20:04What?
00:20:05I mean, do you think they really enjoy it?
00:20:07G-cheese and a meat and two veg
00:20:09Well, to tell you the truth, I never thought about it
00:20:12Yeah, well, I have
00:20:14I've thought about it a lot
00:20:16They don't
00:20:17How could they?
00:20:18It's not a thing of beauty, let's face it
00:20:20So when a woman says to you,
00:20:23What a beautiful cock
00:20:24She's lying
00:20:25And who's she lying to?
00:20:27Herself
00:20:29Maybe I'm wrong
00:20:30Maybe you do have a beautiful cock, I can't say
00:20:32But I suspect it looks something like mine
00:20:34And I know for a fact that mine's no oil painting
00:20:37Well, no one's ever said that to me
00:20:39What?
00:20:40The part you said
00:20:41What part?
00:20:42The, oh, what a beautiful part
00:20:44See, er, what I'm getting at is
00:20:46They only think they like it because they know we like it
00:20:49Well, I don't like it
00:20:51You don't like it?
00:20:52No
00:20:53Everybody likes it
00:20:54Well, I don't
00:20:56You know what that is, don't you?
00:20:57What?
00:20:58Fear of intimacy
00:21:10Where to, my friend?
00:21:11Er, British Museum
00:21:12Found your ex then, mate
00:21:14Eh?
00:21:16Oh, yeah
00:21:17How's it going?
00:21:18Er, fine
00:21:19Yeah, no, she, er, she likes the Elgin Marbles, so
00:21:21It's a bit of a long shot, but, you know
00:21:23Wish you all the best
00:21:24Think you'll recognise her?
00:21:25Yeah, I recognise her
00:21:42There you go
00:21:46Fuck
00:21:52Here you go
00:21:55Can't have one myself
00:21:56Well, I would normally, but I've got this terrible urinary infection
00:21:59Most likely be cystitis, you know, something like that
00:22:02What is it you do exactly?
00:22:05Um, I look after the graves for people who can't
00:22:08You know, people who've moved city or emigrated
00:22:10Well, they hire people to tidy up the graves and fresh flowers, you know, all that
00:22:15That's a good racket
00:22:16I send them a Polaroid every month just to reassure them, look
00:22:20See, these are my recent loved ones
00:22:23Davidson, died suddenly
00:22:24I hate that, don't you? Died suddenly
00:22:26McDermott, 34, cancer of the tongue
00:22:29Family moved to Saskatchewan
00:22:31Robertson
00:22:32Well, he was a fair age, but what a horrible way to die
00:22:34How'd you meet him?
00:22:35He was on holiday in Westeros
00:22:37Swimming, sucked to death by a basking shark
00:22:40What?
00:22:41Yeah, they don't have any teeth
00:22:44Yeah
00:22:49How long you got to wear that then?
00:22:51What, this?
00:22:53Oh, well, I don't really
00:22:58It's just, I hate my neck, you know
00:23:02Hate my hands
00:23:03And my legs and my nose and my ears
00:23:06Especially my ears
00:23:08I'd be quite happy without them, really
00:23:10You know, I could have them surgically removed
00:23:12You can do that, you know
00:23:14You're fine with me
00:23:19Well, I'd better get back to work
00:23:24Are you sure?
00:23:26Maybe we could go to the pictures or something
00:23:30You know, I'm terrible at things like this
00:23:32Going out with people
00:23:34Flattered, obviously
00:23:35I'm just, I'm not interested in relationships
00:23:38What about tonight?
00:23:48How was your lunch today, Brian?
00:23:51Yeah, OK
00:24:00You know what we should do?
00:24:02Do you like dancing, Brian?
00:24:04We should go dancing together, don't you think?
00:24:06Well, yeah
00:24:08I used to go clubbing a lot with my ex-girlfriend
00:24:12She was a great dancer
00:24:14Never met her
00:24:16I don't think she came into the shop
00:24:20I told you, Mo, I've had a heavy, heavy heart since she left
00:24:25She was funny, smart
00:24:29There's something else, I'll never meet a woman like that again
00:24:33Sexy, gorgeous
00:24:36Think about her constantly, you know
00:24:39I just want her back, you know?
00:24:42I wake up, first thing I think about is her
00:24:46Her eyes
00:24:48Her laugh
00:24:50The way she moved
00:24:53Broke the mold with her
00:24:54And one in a million, a real woman
00:24:57She had this touch, this magic
00:25:03I love you
00:25:33I love you
00:26:04Who is it?
00:26:05It's me, Dad, Eddie
00:26:07I forgot my keys
00:26:08Eddie? Eddie who?
00:26:10It's me, Eddie
00:26:12Open the door
00:26:13Eddie's not in
00:26:15I'm Eddie
00:26:17You're Eddie?
00:26:18I'm Barney
00:26:20I've got a son called Eddie
00:26:22Is he in, you or what?
00:26:28Eddie, Eddie
00:26:30Eddie, Eddie
00:26:32Eddie
00:26:34Eddie
00:26:35Oh, good
00:26:36There's some half-wit on the phone for you
00:26:39Have you eaten?
00:26:43Chips
00:26:44I can smell chips
00:26:47Here
00:26:53It's your phone and mobile
00:26:55If you need me, it's your phone and mobile
00:27:01It'll be easier if you took the glove off
00:27:05Jesus Christ, what happened?
00:27:08I can't remember
00:27:10Come on, let's see
00:27:12Don't need stitches
00:27:14Oh
00:27:32You weren't stood up
00:27:34There was an accident with me old man
00:27:36It's OK
00:27:37Well, I like going to the pictures on my own anyway
00:27:41Well, that's the truth, honest
00:27:43Really good
00:27:45It's about this blind composer
00:27:47whose wife's dying of Karsakov-Hausen syndrome
00:27:50Oh, right
00:27:54I'm sorry
00:27:56I'm sorry
00:27:58I'm sorry
00:28:00How's she?
00:28:05I think she believes me
00:28:30No, no, no
00:28:32No
00:28:34No, no, no
00:28:36No, no, no
00:28:38No, no, no
00:28:55Oh
00:28:59I don't want to be a shark
00:29:03I don't want to be a shark
00:29:07I don't want to be a shark
00:29:10Do you ever listen to whale music?
00:29:12Sorry?
00:29:13I'd like to be a whale or a dolphin maybe
00:29:15because they have the greatest sex life
00:29:17Whales, for instance, when they have sex
00:29:19they have these little ridges in their body
00:29:21which are designed to just interlink
00:29:23Then they just raise out of the ocean
00:29:25and come together in perfect unison
00:29:27in a massive, booming eruption
00:29:31It's a perfect match
00:29:32It's like Sinatra and Nelson Riddle
00:29:35What are you trying to say?
00:29:37Basically, do you fancy a shag?
00:29:42Well, yes, I do, but just not with you
00:29:45Look, if you can't dance, you can't make love
00:29:47No rhythm, no passion
00:29:57Mmm
00:30:00What? What's your name again?
00:30:02Wyn
00:30:07Welcome
00:30:09Your place
00:30:18What is gravitas?
00:30:19Noble bearing
00:30:23What do you say that I lack gravitas?
00:30:25Gravitas
00:30:26Why do you let women speak to you like that?
00:30:28It's that stroppy cow with the overbite again, isn't it?
00:30:31Look, have I got gravitas or what?
00:30:33All men have got gravitas to a certain degree
00:30:35Some more than others
00:30:36Obviously, I've got more than me fair share
00:30:38but then I've got Roman blood
00:30:42The thing is, though
00:30:44I can't be what she wants me to be
00:30:46Don't try
00:30:48Well, why bother?
00:30:49They always want what they can't have
00:30:51When they have it, they don't respect it
00:30:56So, where to?
00:31:00British Museum
00:31:02British Museum?
00:31:04You, er...
00:31:05You like the British Museum, do you?
00:31:07Yeah
00:31:09Haven't been for a long time
00:31:11I like the elgin marbles
00:31:26What's all that?
00:31:29Dia de Muertos
00:31:31What?
00:31:33Dia de Muertos, the Day of the Dead
00:31:36It's in Mexico
00:31:42This is one of the masks
00:31:48Oh, right
00:31:49It's the masks they wear during Dia de Muertos
00:31:52Well, it's actually two days
00:31:56Oh, I'd love to go to the Day of the Dead, wouldn't you?
00:31:59That's where they celebrate their dead relatives
00:32:02Not like us, you see
00:32:03They celebrate death
00:32:05What's there to celebrate?
00:32:11What do you want?
00:32:13Yeah, I've got a dead relative
00:32:15Not recently, like, er...
00:32:17Well, it's a while ago
00:32:19You see, the thing is
00:32:20we need somebody to look after his grave
00:32:25You want?
00:32:30This isn't a relative of yours, is it?
00:32:33You're lying, aren't you?
00:32:36Yeah
00:32:40Yeah, you see, the thing is, er...
00:32:43Well, I've got a crush on you
00:32:46It's more than a crush, it's a stampede
00:32:49Yeah, I've got a stampede on you
00:32:56When marimba rhythms start to play
00:32:59Dance with me, make me sway
00:33:04Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
00:33:07Hold me close, sway me more
00:33:10I'm sorry about last night
00:33:12I'm not usually obnoxious
00:33:14Well, I am sometimes
00:33:17I, er...
00:33:21You're a classy lady
00:33:23And, er...
00:33:24I don't normally meet classy ladies
00:33:27Just broads
00:33:34This is Raphael's portrait of the woman he loved
00:33:38La Fornarina
00:33:40Actually, he painted her over and over again
00:33:43She was the love of his life
00:33:45When he died, she draped herself over his coffin
00:33:48and wouldn't leave until the Pope ordered her to
00:33:50Raphael was to be beatified
00:33:52so he couldn't be seen to have any earthly desires
00:33:56And their great love had to be denied
00:34:03I think that's very romantic
00:34:06She became a nun
00:34:07and spent the rest of her life in severe contemplation
00:34:13Stupid cow
00:34:15Have you never been in love, Eleanor?
00:34:17Have you never been in love, Eleanor?
00:34:20Nah
00:34:23Too much choice
00:34:35No, er...
00:34:36No, she was from Liverpool
00:34:38Her name was Maureen
00:34:39Maureen?
00:34:41Yeah, well, there's no need to be like that, is there?
00:34:45How old was she?
00:34:46Oh, C-H-E-R-T-Y
00:34:50Hello? Er...
00:34:52Don't know me, but...
00:34:53She left when?
00:34:55Oh, right, er...
00:34:56Maureen Docherty
00:34:57Yeah, I'm looking for a Maureen Docherty, yeah?
00:34:59No, I'm not selling anything
00:35:00I just want to know if you've got a Maureen
00:35:03I didn't know there were cabs today
00:35:06Try El Corazon, mate
00:35:08It's a nightclub
00:35:10Just a ferry
00:35:12What?
00:35:15What?!
00:35:32Hello?
00:35:52Hello, Fergus here
00:35:58Hello, Fergus here
00:36:02Hello, Fergus here
00:36:10You needn't go to all this trouble for me, son
00:36:13It's not for you
00:36:14Go and go to the bingo with your pal, Irene
00:36:17I needn't you here
00:36:19Irene who?
00:36:21Ah...
00:36:31Hello again
00:36:32Thanks for coming
00:36:41There you go
00:36:42Back in a tick
00:36:46Where's the chicken?
00:36:47I put it in the freezer
00:36:48What?
00:36:49Where's in the oven?
00:36:51It'll go off
00:37:08Can I help?
00:37:09You Irene?
00:37:10No!
00:37:12Everything's fine
00:37:14He's just leaving
00:37:15You going to come up for a bingo, darling?
00:37:19I don't cook much
00:37:21Is it OK?
00:37:26It's very nice
00:37:31It's amazing what you can get from eating food though, isn't it?
00:37:34I mean the diseases, it's just scary
00:37:36What do you mean?
00:37:38Streptococcus
00:37:40Bacteria that grows like beads on a string
00:37:43One in ten people carry it in their mouth
00:37:46It's like the things that create pus
00:37:49You know, like when you have an infection and you get pus
00:37:53Well, if it gets into food and you cook it, it just grows and grows
00:37:58It makes you sick as a pig
00:38:00Pus?
00:38:01Are we going to the bingo?
00:38:04Dad, this ain't Irene
00:38:05This is Jocely
00:38:07Chicken's the worst
00:38:09It's almonella
00:38:10You know, if you cook it from frozen
00:38:12I'm sure you knew that, son
00:38:15Don't eat that
00:38:31Punch me
00:38:33Just punch me as hard as you like
00:38:35Like a rock, my son
00:38:37Just punch, punch
00:38:39Go on, punch
00:38:42Oh!
00:38:44Oh, jeez
00:38:47I punched him
00:38:49Snowball
00:38:516897, anybody else?
00:38:5422, roger mate, good night, thank you
00:38:56Good sales they're doing there, isn't it?
00:38:59You any good then?
00:39:02Tell you the truth, pal
00:39:03I'm only going to get my hands on a very elegant lady
00:39:06She's a real ring-a-ding-ding, you know
00:39:09So what style is it then?
00:39:11Cuban? Colombian?
00:39:14What?
00:39:19The tango is Argentinian
00:39:21The bossa nova is Brazilian
00:39:23The bomba is Puerto Rican
00:39:26It's got your hips in there, mate
00:39:27Swing your hips
00:39:28That's it, yeah
00:39:29All right, let's do a few basics
00:39:30Hey, leave it at it
00:39:32I thought you wanted to impress a lady
00:39:35All right, I'll be the woman
00:39:39Okay
00:39:42To your left
00:39:44Back
00:39:45That's it
00:39:47Back
00:39:48All right, now follow me
00:39:53Good, good
00:39:54All right, now back the other way
00:39:57That's it
00:39:58Want to try as well?
00:39:59Yeah
00:40:03Brilliant
00:40:05All right, one more?
00:40:06Yeah
00:40:08Yeah
00:40:09Natural
00:40:12Natural
00:40:24What?
00:40:25That was lame, man
00:40:27It's not easy, you know
00:40:29The faster the music, the shorter the steps
00:40:32What did you want me to do, lie to you?
00:40:33It was terrible
00:40:41That's it
00:40:42Back
00:40:43Back
00:40:44Back
00:40:45Back
00:40:46Back
00:40:47Back
00:40:48Back
00:40:49Back
00:40:50Back
00:40:51Back
00:40:52Back
00:40:53Back
00:40:54Back
00:40:55Back
00:40:56Back
00:40:57Back
00:40:58Back
00:40:59Back
00:41:00Back
00:41:01Back
00:41:02Back
00:41:03Back
00:41:04Back
00:41:05Back
00:41:06Back
00:41:07Back
00:41:08Back
00:41:09Back
00:41:11Back
00:41:15Back
00:41:16Back
00:41:17Back
00:41:24You dancing?
00:41:34What?
00:41:36We thought we should speak a bit of Spanish
00:41:37I do speak a bit of Spanish, you don't
00:41:39De nada.
00:41:40So?
00:41:42¿Estaba del alma caramana?
00:41:44No tengo la certeza.
00:41:47All right, what does that mean?
00:41:51I'm not certain.
00:42:00Okay.
00:42:03I'm going to ask you a question.
00:42:06It's multiple choice.
00:42:09Salt is A, pepper is B.
00:42:12Now, you don't even have to speak.
00:42:14All you have to do is pick up A or B.
00:42:20A is yes, and that's the salt.
00:42:24And B is nah, that's the pepper.
00:42:27Got that?
00:42:29Now, are you attracted to me
00:42:33in the sense that you like me and you want to see me?
00:42:36Not romantically, or in a romantic sense,
00:42:40but maybe in the romantic sense
00:42:42or in the sense that it could be romantic.
00:42:46Meaning, um...
00:42:49Well, is there any part of you that feels something for me?
00:42:55Is there any interest at all?
00:42:58I mean, anything.
00:43:06No, I don't know.
00:43:36I don't know.
00:44:07Tonight, I am elegant.
00:44:09Tonight, I am cool.
00:44:12You ever see Ocean's Eleven?
00:44:14Sammy Davis Jr. says to Dean Martin,
00:44:16What would you do if you had a million dollars?
00:44:18Dean says, I would make all the women in the world my slaves.
00:44:23That's how I feel.
00:44:24Tonight, they are all my slaves.
00:44:29Everybody okay here?
00:44:31Yeah, I just, uh...
00:44:33Just here's someone I haven't seen for eight years.
00:44:42Hiya.
00:44:45Who am I?
00:44:47Vegas.
00:44:58Mo.
00:45:00Mo, listen, look, I want to talk to you.
00:45:03Can I stay at yours?
00:45:05You are kidding.
00:45:06I'm on the couch, you know. Look, I've come all this way just to see you.
00:45:09Taxi! Taxi!
00:45:15The night's still young.
00:45:33The night's still young.
00:45:55A truck could come round that corner and kill us right now.
00:45:59A bus could blow a tyre, a head-on collision.
00:46:03A snake could fall off a roof and crash through your windscreen.
00:46:05Instant death.
00:46:08I can't stop thinking about these things.
00:46:13Morbidity. That's what you've got.
00:46:16Always imagining the worst.
00:46:18Just forget about it.
00:46:20Because you're absolutely right, you know, anything could happen.
00:46:23You should live for the moment.
00:46:25I just think about the consequences of everything I do.
00:46:30Don't you do that?
00:46:32The consequences aren't always what you think they're going to be.
00:46:36That's the way I see it.
00:46:38So why worry?
00:46:47Oi, hang on a minute.
00:46:49This is mine.
00:46:51You've put on the beef.
00:46:54I've been thinking about you a lot.
00:46:56I haven't seen you on top of the pops yet.
00:46:59Ah, the band split off, you know.
00:47:00They were compromising me sound, bunch of wankers.
00:47:04Remember when we went to see the...
00:47:06Before you start that, remember one wee crap.
00:47:09I slipped your mind for eight years.
00:47:11Don't you think that's slightly insulting?
00:47:14I loved the bones of you, and you broke my heart. Remember that?
00:47:19It's taken me years to get my self-respect back.
00:47:21You're not taking that away again.
00:47:24See you in the morning.
00:47:25And don't even think about any lobby creeping, all right?
00:47:31Fuck.
00:47:38Another cover?
00:47:40When marimba rhythms start to play
00:47:43Dance with me, make me swing
00:47:47Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore
00:47:51Hold me close, sway me more
00:47:55Like a flower bendin' in the breeze
00:47:59Bend with me, sway with ease
00:48:03For every dance you have, sway with me
00:48:06Sway with me, sway with ease
00:48:11Our movements are making our moves
00:48:14But my eyes will see only you
00:48:18Only you have the magic technique
00:48:22When we sway, I go weak
00:48:26Keep the noise down, will you? I'm trying to sleep.
00:48:29God, have you got any paracetamol anywhere?
00:48:32The kitchen's mine. Get out.
00:48:34I've got a splitting headache, OK?
00:48:36I'm sorry. I didn't realise he had a flat neck.
00:48:38I'm not his flat neck, darling. I'm his ex-wife.
00:48:45Kitchen's mine. Out!
00:48:47I'm good and ready.
00:48:48I'm not married to Dan.
00:48:50We're not married.
00:48:51We're separated. We're separated, but we live together separately.
00:48:55Isn't that right?
00:48:56If you say so, yeah.
00:49:00What's the address here?
00:49:06You have a fight?
00:49:07Mind your own business.
00:49:09It is my business. Look.
00:49:11Get on up!
00:49:14Faster! Faster!
00:49:30I hate to tell you this, but I think this place is haunted, you know?
00:49:33Two little girls in Edwardian dresses skipping in your living room.
00:49:37It was like I was seeing them through my eyelids. It was really scary.
00:49:43I couldn't sleep with you, could I?
00:49:49That chemist's open. Can you stop?
00:49:54I'm sorry.
00:49:56That chemist's open. Can you stop?
00:50:15You're saying you have to tidy up?
00:50:26Are you all right?
00:50:28What are the pills?
00:50:30Just take me home.
00:50:32You tell me what the pills are first.
00:50:34It's a fucking herb, OK?
00:50:40You know, you've been in this cab ten times.
00:50:43No, I haven't.
00:50:45Yes, you have. Ten or 12 times.
00:50:47And I've noticed not once have you ever said a civil word to me.
00:50:55I've noticed a lot about you, Eleanor.
00:50:58Just driving you.
00:51:00More than you think.
00:51:02Feels like I know you.
00:51:04You don't know me.
00:51:06I know your surname is Conroy.
00:51:10I know you don't drive. I know you don't drink that much.
00:51:13I know where you work. I know what you do there.
00:51:16I know what perfume you wear. It's Chanel.
00:51:19I know your favourite restaurant. I know you like salsa.
00:51:22I know you're lonely.
00:51:25I am not fucking lonely.
00:51:28I do not want to be in a relationship.
00:51:30Is that so hard to understand?
00:51:34Cunts make me sick.
00:51:37Eating off each other's plates, finishing each other's sentences,
00:51:40pooling their resources.
00:51:45In the dictionary, right,
00:51:47the word love has more definitions than any other.
00:51:51Well, fuck me over the hostess trolley, you don't say.
00:51:55OK, what's so great about being on your own?
00:51:57Oh, well, where do I start?
00:51:59I don't have to tell somebody where I'm going to be every minute of the day.
00:52:03You don't have to listen to them talking about their old girlfriends,
00:52:06watch what you want on TV, pick your own friends.
00:52:09You don't have to watch football or...
00:52:12or hockey or...
00:52:14or rugby or tennis or boxing or Grand Prix racing or...
00:52:18But they all come under sport.
00:52:20OK, OK.
00:52:22Don't have to...
00:52:26Is that it?
00:52:28You...
00:52:54Tobasco.
00:52:57Fucking hell.
00:53:04Celery.
00:53:06Oh, fuck.
00:53:16Oh, fuck.
00:53:19Oh, fucking hell.
00:53:27Oh!
00:53:29Oh!
00:53:33Oh!
00:53:41Milk?
00:53:43I thought you'd remember I don't take milk.
00:53:47Sugar.
00:53:49I've seen you remember how many I take.
00:53:52How am I supposed to remember how many sugars you take, you prick?
00:53:56You just fucked off and left me without a word.
00:53:59Nothing.
00:54:00Oh, it's all right, just relax.
00:54:02What are you doing here?
00:54:04We don't know each other anymore.
00:54:06You're a stranger to me.
00:54:09All right.
00:54:10Just because you've become a born-again romantic, don't think I have.
00:54:14I'm happy.
00:54:16I just wanted to see you.
00:54:18Why?
00:54:19Because I know I made a mistake.
00:54:21Look, you know, not a month has gone by that I didn't think about you.
00:54:26A month?
00:54:28Only once a month?
00:54:30All right, a week.
00:54:32I'm serious, that's why I came looking for you.
00:54:35How would I want more?
00:54:37Eh?
00:54:39You're my soul mate.
00:54:41Beat it, Fergus,
00:54:43before I really lose my temper.
00:54:46Come on.
00:54:47Go!
00:54:57Fucking hell.
00:54:59What have you done?
00:55:01Oh, good one.
00:55:05Give us a knife, will you, and I'll wedge it open.
00:55:07Just open the door and get out.
00:55:09What do you think I'm trying to do?
00:55:11Oh, fuck this.
00:55:16It takes a special kind of person to forgive.
00:55:27Look, it's a friend's flat.
00:55:29She's a friend.
00:55:31Phone her up. Why don't you phone her up?
00:55:33Give me her number, then.
00:55:35Close friend.
00:55:40Two sugars, please.
00:55:42What I'm after is big band now.
00:55:45See where I'm going?
00:55:47The Nelson Riddle, Richard Wise sound.
00:55:49Take a standard, punch it up.
00:55:51See, they had the sound.
00:55:53Punchy, jazzy.
00:55:55We're talking Sinatra.
00:55:57We're talking Darren.
00:55:59We're talking class.
00:56:23Fuck.
00:56:43Target approaching.
00:56:46How much?
00:56:48I don't know. Wait, wait.
00:56:53I covered the full 300.
00:56:57Just wait.
00:57:01She's coming your way. Strike.
00:57:18Oh, shit.
00:57:24Hi, I got a message from Frankie to meet him here.
00:57:27Could you give him these and tell him I couldn't stay?
00:57:31Yeah, I'll tell him.
00:57:38L is for the way you look at me
00:57:44O is for the only one
00:57:48I love
00:57:50S is for the only one
00:57:53I see
00:57:55V is very, very
00:57:59Extraordinary
00:58:01E is even more than anyone
00:58:05That you adore
00:58:07And love is all that I can give
00:58:11To you
00:58:13Love is more than just a game
00:58:17For two
00:58:19And love can make it
00:58:21Take my heart and please don't break it
00:58:24Love was made for me and you
00:58:30L is for the way you look at me
00:58:35Look at me, baby
00:58:36O is for the only one
00:58:40I see
00:58:42V is very, very
00:58:45Extraordinary
00:58:48E is even more than anyone
00:58:52That you adore
00:58:54And love is all that I can give
00:58:58To you
00:59:00Love is more than just a game
00:59:04For two
00:59:06And love can make it
00:59:09Take my heart and please don't break it
00:59:12Love was made for me and you
00:59:18Love was made for me and you
00:59:24Love was made for me and you
00:59:39Frankie, the fact that you can sing L-O-V-E is touching.
00:59:45It's touching, but it's not enough.
00:59:51You live with your ex-wife.
00:59:54You don't have any money.
00:59:57You think you're Dean Martin's love child.
01:00:03Really?
01:00:05Well, this is your last chance.
01:00:09I mean, you know, you're a classy broad,
01:00:11but this is your last chance.
01:00:13It's now or never.
01:00:15I mean, I'm yours, but only right now.
01:00:18It's up to you, baby.
01:00:22Oh, well, that's my life.
01:00:24Bye.
01:00:41I'll catch you.
01:00:48You OK?
01:00:52I think my boyfriend just tried to mug me.
01:00:55You can't trust anybody these days.
01:00:57Well, he's not my boyfriend as such.
01:00:59But you know him.
01:01:03It was his eyes.
01:01:05They're brown.
01:01:07A little mark in the left iris.
01:01:12I saw you today.
01:01:25I'm not interested.
01:01:27That's an understandable reaction, but it'll pass.
01:01:30See this man here? He jilted me.
01:01:34We were gonna get married, and he left me a week ago.
01:01:38We were gonna get married, and he left me a week before the wedding.
01:01:42Didn't you?
01:01:44Don't fucking lie.
01:01:46All right, I did. I did. I did it. All right?
01:01:49Now he's trying to worm his way in again.
01:01:51What a sad prick.
01:01:53Look, it was panic. I wasn't ready.
01:01:56I did you a favour. I'm a better person now.
01:01:58You've got to talk to me.
01:02:00That's my point, isn't it? I can talk now.
01:02:02I was immature.
01:02:04And me a kid.
01:02:06And me a wanker.
01:02:09Stay!
01:02:20May the love of God and the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ
01:02:24bless and console us...
01:02:29..and gently wipe every tear from our eyes.
01:02:38Hello? Loved Ones Limited?
01:02:40Hello, Jocelyn?
01:02:42Jocelyn, are you there?
01:02:50Go! Go! Go!
01:02:52Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:02:54Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:02:56Go! Go! Go! Go!
01:03:08Go! Go! Go!
01:03:28I'm a thief. That's what I do, I steal.
01:03:31Look, it's the only thing I'm good at.
01:03:33I'm not even very good at that.
01:03:39Come on.
01:03:41You look good.
01:03:43Say that to me again later when I'm pissed.
01:03:45You might be in with a chance.
01:03:51Let's get married.
01:03:53I'm serious.
01:03:55What do you want most out of life, Fergus?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:01A Grammy?
01:04:04Wrong answer.
01:04:06Wrong answer.
01:04:08No, after you, obviously.
01:04:11Obviously.
01:04:13I never used physical violence, guns, anything like that.
01:04:16Just chloroform. Oh, I am impressed.
01:04:18Well, I didn't know it was you.
01:04:32It's so much better.
01:04:37Go! Go! Go!
01:04:39Go! Go! Go!
01:04:44I mean, fucking hell, everybody steals.
01:04:46What?
01:04:48Well, if people didn't steal, the insurance companies would go out of business.
01:04:51Imagine what that'd do to the economy.
01:04:53Stock market, pension funds.
01:04:55I mean, chaos.
01:04:57I'm providing a service. Think about it.
01:05:00Everybody overcharges.
01:05:02Everybody diddles tax.
01:05:04Everybody steals. Everybody.
01:05:07That ain't a good reason not to go out with me.
01:05:09You should go out with me.
01:05:11Really? Well, I'd rather be dead.
01:05:14Well, you might as well be.
01:05:16All your friends are.
01:05:21Are you two feet?
01:05:23I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:05:27Where are you going?
01:05:29This is to you.
01:05:31You haven't danced yet.
01:05:33OK, I'm fine. I'm over you.
01:05:42So who wants to be dropped first?
01:05:47Fun night, girls.
01:05:51You married, Jimmy?
01:05:53Married for years.
01:05:56Happy?
01:05:58We were. We were very happy.
01:06:01Were?
01:06:03I lost her about two years ago.
01:06:08So why do you say you're still married?
01:06:12It doesn't mean I'm not. I still love her.
01:06:17So is that her?
01:06:19Yeah, that's Ella. I took that.
01:06:22It's beautiful.
01:06:26You don't go out with other people, then?
01:06:30I'd be pretending.
01:06:33People have to move on, don't they?
01:06:36I mean, she'd hate you to be alone, wouldn't she?
01:06:39I don't feel alone.
01:06:43There's only so many people you could love that way,
01:06:45and I don't expect it to happen again.
01:06:59SIREN BLARES
01:07:25Phew! Shit!
01:07:30Get out.
01:07:32There's a chance of a copper.
01:07:35Come on, darling.
01:07:37Make us some cheese on toast.
01:07:39Just piss off, will you?
01:07:41Go.
01:07:43Go.
01:07:47Let me tell you something about women.
01:07:49They're filthy.
01:07:51Whatever preconception you may have had of the first sex, get rid of it.
01:07:54They're filthy, filthy, filthy.
01:07:56I do know that.
01:07:58It's painfully obvious you do not know that.
01:08:00It's painfully obvious you haven't got a clue.
01:08:02I did know that.
01:08:03Let me explain further.
01:08:05Women don't fall in love.
01:08:07They're too smart.
01:08:09They weigh stuff up, the pros, the cons.
01:08:11That's all I know.
01:08:13Ever read The Selfish Gene?
01:08:15You should read that. The Selfish Gene.
01:08:18You see, women don't fall in love. It's not altruistic.
01:08:20They're genetically designed to look after number one.
01:08:23It's all about mutual benefit.
01:08:26Love doesn't exist as we know it.
01:08:29It's a myth.
01:08:31You should read it.
01:08:33I'd hand you my copy, but, er...
01:08:35well, it's mine.
01:08:57I've heard about the band.
01:08:59Chucked me out.
01:09:01Got someone young, there's some bloody Androgyne.
01:09:08I've never met anyone that made me feel the way you do,
01:09:11and I regretted leaving you as soon as I did it.
01:09:14I thought I'd...
01:09:16I thought I'd...
01:09:18I thought I'd...
01:09:20I thought I'd...
01:09:22I thought I'd...
01:09:24I thought I'd...
01:09:26I'd be all rock and roll.
01:09:28Didn't want any complications.
01:09:30Forget you always take what's inside you,
01:09:32whatever you go and I always took you.
01:09:35I've changed.
01:09:39You know, if I was in a mad situation
01:09:41or something made me laugh,
01:09:43things getting weird, I'd imagine you there,
01:09:45imagine the look on your face.
01:09:47I'd talk to you.
01:09:51Had some good laughs with you when you went there.
01:09:56I was ambitious for all the wrong things.
01:09:59Now I'm just ambitious for the things that should be easy,
01:10:02you know, happiness, contentment, kids.
01:10:07I've missed you so much.
01:10:11I missed you.
01:10:17If we did get back together, these are the rules.
01:10:20We can stay over only one night at a time.
01:10:22Same Monday and Friday nights.
01:10:24Personal life on a meet-and-meet basis.
01:10:27No phone calls after midnight and I conceal the people.
01:10:30No way!
01:10:31Right, we both conceal the people.
01:10:34Right, yeah. For the first two months.
01:10:36Three. Ten weeks.
01:10:38OK. Oh, and you have to learn salsa.
01:10:41Yeah, and you can't mention the past more than once a week
01:10:43for the first ten weeks and then after that, never.
01:10:46It's a deal.
01:10:49Like Hitler, Stalin, Paktus, innit?
01:10:52So how many people have you been with?
01:10:54Not in eight years.
01:10:56Well, you know, serious relationships.
01:11:00I don't know. 20.
01:11:0320?
01:11:05For fuck's sake, 20?
01:11:07Yeah, in eight years.
01:11:08What, 20 serious relationships?
01:11:11Well, what about one-night stands?
01:11:15Double that.
01:11:16Fucking hell, that's like 60 people.
01:11:19Yeah. In eight years, Bergus.
01:11:22That's astounding.
01:11:25I've been careful.
01:11:27What about you in a band?
01:11:29Yeah, well, I had a few.
01:11:31It was the drummer that got all the action, to be honest.
01:11:33Who knows why? He couldn't play the drums to save his life.
01:11:36Yeah, well...
01:11:38maybe I was looking for something to fill up my life.
01:11:40Yeah, fucking right. You must have a fanny like a bill poster's bookers.
01:11:43What did you just say?
01:11:45Oh, I meant, you know, you must be...
01:11:46Oh, deal's off.
01:11:49Mo!
01:11:51Come on!
01:11:52Mo, look, I'll take that back. That was unnecessary. I'll take it back.
01:11:55You've already broken our agreement.
01:11:56I didn't even know it had started, did I?
01:11:58I mean, it should have started at midnight or something.
01:12:00It starts now, OK? Yeah, OK now.
01:12:03I suppose we should go to bed, shouldn't we?
01:12:06Just to make sure.
01:12:08Yeah, definitely, make sure, yeah.
01:12:19Concentrate!
01:12:20It's this woman, isn't it? This green thing. She's fucking you up.
01:12:23Just leave it, will you?
01:12:25Got a job on? Yeah, these guys to Kennington.
01:12:28Right.
01:12:30Busy day, mate?
01:12:32No, it's dead.
01:12:35Go through the park, mate. I've just got to drop something off.
01:12:38What, at the park? Yeah.
01:12:48All right.
01:12:52Just pull up here, mate.
01:13:01Come on.
01:13:05You move a muscle and I'll break his fucking neck.
01:13:08Do something!
01:13:09Grab the...
01:13:12Right, you little prick!
01:13:13I could see that coming a mile off.
01:13:15Oh, fuck, it's you, isn't it? Chloroform, man.
01:13:19What does she see in you? What are you talking about?
01:13:21You know who I'm talking about, Jocelyn. You don't deserve her.
01:13:29Shit.
01:13:32I don't understand it.
01:13:34Fucking thing.
01:13:35What's wrong?
01:13:38You know what's wrong.
01:13:39Relax.
01:13:41You just feel pressurised because you've been marked out of ten.
01:13:44Marked?
01:13:45Judged, then.
01:13:46Who are you?
01:13:48I'm a head-on force.
01:13:49Yeah, well, we're your later sides, don't worry.
01:13:51It's just the situation.
01:13:53Don't patronise me.
01:13:55Anyway, where did you learn that?
01:13:56What? That with the fucking toothpaste.
01:13:58I thought my knob was going to have a stroke.
01:14:00I think it has.
01:14:02You're a nasty little bastard, aren't you?
01:14:12What?
01:14:14I'm a nasty little bastard.
01:14:17This is a joke.
01:14:20You can't turn the clock back, Fergus.
01:14:24We'll never get it together.
01:14:29Just get dressed and go.
01:14:43Just relax, all right? Now, listen.
01:14:45You've got to pack it in.
01:14:46The thieving.
01:14:47You've got to get yourself a job.
01:14:49I'm dyslexic, you know.
01:14:51Vicar's shit.
01:14:52Who'd employ me, eh?
01:14:53Don't give me that. You just like the rush.
01:14:56What you do is harder than working, I know that.
01:15:00Piece of advice, yeah?
01:15:02Let her give you the rush.
01:15:11Oh, hi, um, it's Frankie, I'm...
01:15:15HE SNORES
01:15:26Afternoon.
01:15:29What time is it?
01:15:31So you're not interested in me any more, is that it?
01:15:40Excuse me, well?
01:15:41Really?
01:15:42I mean, um...
01:15:44You were, and now you're not.
01:15:46It's just a passing infatuation, is that right?
01:15:48Is that the story?
01:15:51If I can say that for me, it was just a shag.
01:15:54Oh.
01:15:57Yeah, me too. It was nothing, meaningless.
01:16:00Well, I want to say it was meaningless, exactly.
01:16:02Well, no, not meaningless, just not very important, but fun.
01:16:06Um, excuse me, that's information I don't want to give you.
01:16:10That's information that I don't need.
01:16:13So?
01:16:15Well...
01:16:18Can we talk about this later?
01:16:22You know where to find me.
01:16:25Right.
01:16:33HE HUMS
01:16:40HE SIGHS
01:16:54Euston.
01:16:55You're heading home, then?
01:16:57Yeah, it looks that way.
01:17:00So it wasn't that simple after all.
01:17:07You should make a gesture, mate.
01:17:09You're like a sacrifice.
01:17:11Do something to show us you're the most important thing in your life.
01:17:16We've got all the answers, haven't we?
01:17:28Just turn round here. Just turn round here.
01:17:31OK.
01:17:33What's this worth to you?
01:17:35A lot.
01:17:36It's a 1956 Gibson.
01:17:38You know, it's, er... it's yours for nothing.
01:17:40Mine?
01:17:42What do I have to do for it?
01:17:44Just teach me to dance.
01:17:47If you want.
01:17:48Hey, forward.
01:17:50Do it again. It's disgusting.
01:17:52Come on, try again. And go away.
01:17:54One, two, three, back.
01:17:55One, two, three, hey.
01:17:59Now twist and go to it.
01:18:00One, two, three, again.
01:18:02Back, 53, twist.
01:18:03Yeah, man!
01:19:09MUSIC CONTINUES
01:19:29Well done, boys. Now you are ready for the girls.
01:19:33Go!
01:19:36How's tricks, then?
01:19:38Well, er, I'm getting married as it goes.
01:19:41Not to that stroppy, jowly, ornery, challenged harpy.
01:19:44I've had enough of your comments.
01:19:46I no longer have any faith in your knowledge of women whatsoever.
01:19:49Is that a fact, Nick?
01:19:50You're jealous. You just want a bit of what I've got.
01:19:53You want a stroppy bird.
01:19:54You crave to be stropped about.
01:19:56Put a bit of sauce in your life.
01:19:59Jealous of you, mate? No, you've got me all wrong.
01:20:01It just eats you up, doesn't it?
01:20:02You're a delusional fool.
01:20:04Women are fighting a guerrilla war.
01:20:06Their tactics are dirty. They take no prisoners.
01:20:09I freely admit that I'm a pussy-holic,
01:20:11but rather that than pussy-whipped.
01:20:12A pussy-holic? All right.
01:20:15When was the last time you had a shag?
01:20:18Well, wait...
01:20:20It doesn't deserve a reply. When?
01:20:22The other night, Thursday.
01:20:25You were on all night Thursday?
01:20:28I meant Wednesday.
01:20:30You don't know anything about women, do you?
01:20:32You're scared of them.
01:20:33Face it, we can't live without women.
01:20:35We need them.
01:20:37Hmm?
01:20:39Just accept it, mate.
01:20:47Thank you.
01:21:04It's funny, isn't it?
01:21:06I'm a friend of Eddie's.
01:21:08I've got a son called Eddie.
01:21:10I know, that's who I mean.
01:21:12Are you going someplace?
01:21:13The beach. Where?
01:21:15What?
01:21:18Shit!
01:21:19Dad, get in here. Come on.
01:21:23Put some clothes on, will you?
01:21:25I met him at King's Cross.
01:21:27I'm not going anywhere.
01:21:29I'm not going anywhere.
01:21:31I met him at King's Cross.
01:21:33Cheers.
01:21:34Well, come in.
01:21:37No, thanks.
01:21:38I'm looking for work, you know.
01:21:40New leaf and all that.
01:21:42Good.
01:21:43So, can we start again?
01:21:45From the beginning.
01:21:47Like you stealing my purse?
01:21:49All right, well, from before the beginning, then.
01:21:53That means we've never met,
01:21:55so you don't even exist, as far as I'm concerned.
01:21:57Well, let's pretend you brought Barney home
01:21:59and we just met.
01:22:01So, tea?
01:22:02I wouldn't have brought him home
01:22:03because I wouldn't have known where you lived, would I?
01:22:05Well, let's say he told you where I lived
01:22:07and this is it, first meeting.
01:22:10If this was our first meeting, I wouldn't be impressed
01:22:12and I wouldn't hang about.
01:22:14You don't know that.
01:22:15I do know that.
01:22:31I love you.
01:23:01I love you.
01:23:02I love you.
01:23:32Digli mamma mie
01:23:34Digli mamma mie
01:23:37Digli mamma mie
01:23:39Ya mu le ma se se
01:23:42Ah, ya mu le ma o
01:23:48Ah, ya mu le ma o
01:23:54Digli mamma mie
01:23:57Digli mamma mie
01:23:59Digli mamma mie
01:24:02Digli mamma mie
01:24:05What's that?
01:24:06A present.
01:24:12Let's go to the Day of the Dead.
01:24:14I can't go.
01:24:16I'm sure you can.
01:24:17No, they crash.
01:24:19We'll get a boat.
01:24:23It's an encyclopaedia of diseases.
01:24:30Digli mamma mie
01:24:32Ya mu le ma se se
01:24:34Ah, ya mu le ma o
01:24:37Digli mamma mie
01:24:39Digli mamma mie
01:24:41I lied.
01:24:44When?
01:24:45When I said I was over you.
01:24:50You're not?
01:24:52I can't see it hurting.
01:24:55I hope you realise that
01:24:57familiarity breeds contempt.
01:25:03Elena,
01:25:04why don't you give yourself
01:25:06and the rest of the world
01:25:08a break?
01:25:13Dance?
01:25:17Yeah.
01:25:23You've been taking lessons?
01:25:25Where'd you get the money?
01:25:28I sold my guitar.
01:25:32You know when you've made a mistake?
01:25:34You get panic attacks.
01:25:37You feel sick in your stomach
01:25:38because you know for the rest of your life
01:25:39you'll only feel half of what you could have felt.
01:25:44I've felt like that for the last eight years.
01:25:48Ya mu le ma o
01:25:56Digli mamma mie
01:26:07Why me?
01:26:08Why buy this?
01:26:09Why are you so interested in me?
01:26:11Don't you like it?
01:26:13It's the best present anyone's ever bought me.
01:26:17What's wrong with that?
01:26:19I'm a weirdo.
01:26:20Look, if you like me,
01:26:21you must be a weirdo as well.
01:26:25Oh, yeah?
01:26:36I never wanted what other people wanted.
01:26:38Until now.
01:26:40And until you.
01:26:42You can't steal.
01:26:43I'll get a job.
01:26:44You can't change me.
01:26:45I don't want to.
01:26:49And you can't die before me.
01:26:52Don't even think about it.
01:27:23Oh, I love it when you kiss me
01:27:27Oh, I love it when you kiss me
01:27:48Would you like to dance?
01:27:52Dance for me
01:27:54And I know you want to
01:27:56Dance for me
01:27:58Dance for me
01:28:02I wish I didn't exist
01:28:06I wish I didn't exist
01:28:10I wish I didn't exist
01:28:14I wish I didn't exist
01:28:17What's the use of my songs
01:28:21If they don't move your heart
01:28:25You just want to come and decorate
01:28:29Instead of singing and living
01:28:31I don't know what else to say
01:28:33I wish I didn't exist
01:28:35I wish I didn't exist
01:28:37I wish I didn't exist
01:28:40I wish
01:28:44I wish
01:28:51I wish
01:29:00Yes, I couldn't see
01:29:04The way you walk this way
01:29:07Something special
01:29:10Is going to occur
01:29:13Oh, mister
01:29:16Your eyes are full of hesitation
01:29:20Sure makes me wonder
01:29:23If you know what you're looking for
01:29:25What are you looking for?
01:29:28Baby
01:29:30I wanna keep my reputation
01:29:34I'm a sensation
01:29:37You'll try me once
01:29:38You'll beg for more
01:29:42Kiss me
01:29:43I can't boogie
01:29:45But I need a certain song
01:29:48I can't boogie
01:29:50Boogie, boogie
01:29:52All night long
01:29:56Yes, sir
01:29:57I can boogie
01:29:59If you say you can't hold on
01:30:02I can boogie
01:30:04Boogie, boogie
01:30:06All night long
01:30:17No, sir
01:30:19I don't feel very much like talking
01:30:23No, neither walking
01:30:26You wanna know if I can dance
01:30:31Yes, sir
01:30:33Already told you in the first verse
01:30:37And in the chorus
01:30:40But I will give you one more chance
01:30:43Kiss me
01:30:45I can boogie
01:30:47But I need a certain song
01:30:50I can't boogie
01:30:52Boogie, boogie
01:30:54All night long
01:30:58Yes, sir
01:30:59I can boogie
01:31:01If you say you can't hold on
01:31:04I can't boogie
01:31:06Boogie, boogie
01:31:08All night long
01:31:12Yes, sir
01:31:14I can boogie
01:31:16But I need a certain song
01:31:19I can't boogie
01:31:21Boogie, boogie
01:31:23All night long
01:31:27Yes, sir
01:31:28I can boogie
01:31:30But I need a certain song
01:31:33I can't boogie
01:31:35Boogie, boogie
01:31:37All night long
01:31:40Yes, sir
01:31:42I can boogie
01:31:44If you say you can't hold on
01:31:47I can't boogie
01:31:49Boogie, boogie
01:31:51All night long
01:31:54Yes, sir
01:31:56I can boogie
01:31:58But I need a certain song
01:32:01I can't boogie
01:32:03Boogie, boogie
01:32:05All night long
01:32:10Yes, sir
01:32:12I can boogie
01:32:14But I need a certain song
01:32:16I can't boogie
01:32:18Boogie, boogie
01:32:20All night long
01:32:22Yes, sir
01:32:24I can boogie
01:32:26But I need a certain song
01:32:28I can't boogie
01:32:30Boogie, boogie
01:32:32All night long
01:32:34Yes, sir
01:32:36I can boogie