Gabriel Rutledge: Nectarine | movie | 2024 | Official Clip
Gabriel Rutledge performs a comedy special in Spokane Washington, filmed at Spokane Comedy Club. | dG1fdl9NRGlMLUlzQkU
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I feel like orgies must have been the last thing back after coronavirus.
00:06They never talked about it on the news.
00:08They were never like,
00:09Phase 4 group sex is back.
00:11Get on out there.
00:16I bet the first one back felt like a junior high dance a little bit.
00:20Just people against each wall.
00:22Like, I thought I was ready, but I'm not.
00:26I'm just gonna hang out by the snack table.
00:29I have no idea if orgies have a snack table,
00:32but I always picture one,
00:34and I think that says a lot about me.
00:37When I'm thinking about group sex,
00:39I'm also like, I hope there's treats.
00:43Maybe some orange slices for halftime.
00:45I don't know how they do it.
00:47Get back out there.
00:50Maybe there's a sign-up list like my kid's soccer team.
00:54Who was supposed to bring an orgy snack tonight?
00:56We got nothing?
00:58Rick, you fuck all our wives?
00:59We can't get a Capri Sun?
01:01Are you shitting me?
01:06If I was at an orgy and there was a snack table,
01:09that's where you'd find me.
01:10I'm letting you know.
01:12Waiting for my turn like it was Double Dutch.
01:22I think it'd be funny to hang out at an orgy snack table.
01:25Last one.
01:26I think it'd be funny
01:29to hang out at an orgy snack table
01:31and then get really mad at people
01:34for double dipping.
01:44Just be like, that's gross.
01:52I did do a show at a sex club one time.
01:56A comedy show.
01:58I should have said that better.
02:02Learned a lot.
02:03Learned a lot about myself.
02:04There's been times in my life
02:05I have identified as a sexually adventurous person.
02:09I thought maybe I was a bit on the kinky side
02:11and then I went to a private sex club
02:14and I was like, nope.
02:18I am a vanilla basic bitch.
02:22I was doing jokes for people wearing leashes.
02:24There was a guy running around in a wrestling singlet
02:27with the ass cut out.
02:28I was like, oh, I'm not kinky, I am adorable.
02:34I was up there like, you ever done missionary?
02:36I like the eye contact.
02:43They had a room in the back with a bed,
02:46which I thought there would be,
02:48but there was only one.
02:49That surprised me.
02:50I did not stay for the after party,
02:52but there was a lot of people there.
02:54Is it a line waiting for your turn at the bed?
02:58Everyone's mad at the lesbians.
03:00You have to be done at some point.
03:09Next to the bed, they had a stack of sheets.
03:11Next to that, they had a sign that said,
03:13please replace the sheets when you are finished.
03:17And at that point,
03:18I was in my own Shark Tank episode.
03:22I was like, and for that reason, I'm out.
03:29First of all, ew.
03:31But besides that,
03:32I have never in my life had an orgasm
03:35and then immediately replaced the sheets.
03:38I don't think I've immediately done anything.
03:42I'm not sure I can handle the transition
03:44between orgasm and sheet replacement.
03:48Just like, that was amazing.
03:49Help me with the corner, people are waiting.
03:53They're not saying anything because of the ball gags,
03:57but they feel upset.
04:03I was surprised they had actual sheets.
04:05They should have had that butcher paper
04:07at the doctor's office.
04:10Whoosh, next.
04:13Grab an orange slice.