ALOHAAAAA! Internationally acclaimed comedian, Gabriel Iglesias, returns to Comedy Central with his latest stand-up spec | dG1fbWJiMy14bFBKYU0
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 And I don't want you thinking
00:08 that my girlfriend's a bad person.
00:09 She's an amazing woman.
00:11 The fact that I only have seven stories about her
00:15 in eight years, says a lot.
00:18 You know, don't get me wrong, five of them happened this year
00:21 but that's still way below the bar,
00:24 you know what I'm saying?
00:25 And I get questions, I get questions about her
00:27 because you know, in the past I've done specials
00:29 and I've talked about other people in my life.
00:31 I've talked about my mom, I've talked about my dad,
00:33 I've talked about my sisters, my brother,
00:35 I've talked about Frankie,
00:36 but I've never really talked about my girl.
00:39 And so I get people that ask me,
00:41 you know, we wanna know a little bit more.
00:42 First question that everybody always ask is,
00:45 is your girlfriend fluffy too?
00:48 And no, she's not, she's a little bit curvy
00:52 but she's not fluffy.
00:53 And that's not to say that I have anything
00:55 against big women, most of my ex-girlfriends
00:57 were really big girls.
00:59 When we would hug, it was like arms and pillows.
01:02 Oh yeah, it was that Tempur-Pedic love,
01:05 you know what I'm saying?
01:07 It was hardcore, like we would hug really, really hard
01:09 and then let go and then our body would come back to normal.
01:12 Another question that people ask is,
01:22 is your girlfriend also Mexican?
01:26 You know, is your girlfriend Mexican?
01:27 And yes she is, but that doesn't mean anything
01:30 because I have dated the rainbow, okay?
01:33 That's just where it landed, you know?
01:35 Oh look.
01:37 It's just where it landed, all right?
01:44 The crazy part with my girl is that
01:46 she doesn't have traditional Mexican features, all right?
01:50 She could pass for white.
01:51 Which is funny because the first time
01:55 I introduced her to my mom, it was quite the show.
01:58 I take my girl to go meet my mom for the first time
02:02 and my mom, she would come to the door.
02:06 She would come to the door, she sees you pulling up
02:08 in the driveway, she opens the door and just waits
02:09 for you to get there and greets you at the door.
02:11 So I'm pulling up, right?
02:13 She comes to the door, she sees me opening the door
02:16 and this white girl comes out, right?
02:18 And she starts cussing me out from the door.
02:20 (speaking in foreign language)
02:24 And my girl speaks Spanish, so my girl looks at my mom
02:34 and she's like, (speaking in foreign language)
02:36 And my mom was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh I'm so sorry.
02:40 I went, ah, you see that, ma?
02:42 You see that, ma?
02:42 They make 'em in that color too.
02:44 (audience laughing)
02:48 (upbeat music)
02:51 ♪ Hey, get in my bed ♪
02:54 (upbeat music)