The Three Badasses Who Want Me
©THINK©
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I found Angela Lockhart
00:00:03Angela still selling your hippie junk here
00:00:06I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity now sign the divorce paper
00:00:23My lovely princess I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from
00:00:29I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to
00:00:34You must choose one of them in seven days I'm going I need to pick up my bride
00:00:49What's the situation here I want to marry you
00:00:59I
00:01:04Love musk the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list arrives at Atlanta today
00:01:09What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia a forgotten stage. No one knows
00:01:14Angela my next-door neighbor still selling your hippie junk here if your mother-in-law sees she's gonna throw a big fit again
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you
00:01:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self
00:01:31And how do you know that? This is none of my business?
00:01:36All right, everybody get out we got an important guest coming
00:01:43You
00:01:48Death I said pack up and scram
00:01:50Paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses
00:01:58I'm gonna say that again
00:02:01You know who's visiting today
00:02:04Ellen freakin musk one of the richest people in the world
00:02:07Ellen musk of course a hick like you probably never heard of her just know that you can't afford to piss her off
00:02:15really
00:02:16Ellen musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market
00:02:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me
00:02:27Coming to see you
00:02:29All right. Oh, you know what? I'll play your game
00:02:32If she does this so much as give you a glance
00:02:35I'll I'll eat dirt
00:02:38Deal
00:02:47Oh and musk get to the flea market within 10 minutes or else you're fired
00:03:11Repair the limo miss Lockhart requires us immediately
00:03:16Oh
00:03:22Your ten minutes is almost up good. Hope you don't wet your pants
00:03:39Ellen I mean miss musk Ellen. I mean, I'm sorry that I
00:03:45Sorry to frighten you
00:03:48How's my boss bitch kick an ass girlfriend? So, how do you like?
00:03:55She's my boss. Yeah, I prefer business partner or best friend
00:04:01No way
00:04:05Well
00:04:10No, no, I'm sorry for your boss no, I won't do it again
00:04:15Oh, all right, that's enough. We're not tyrants here
00:04:26Sir I found Angela Lockhart
00:04:34You mean Angela Lockhart, I don't like that
00:04:39You made me lose 1 million dollars it's just one game of poker
00:04:44Who are you?
00:04:47Where is she
00:04:49Atlanta and you were right. Who's he could leave her propping up Ellen musk my clever bride
00:04:54I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to
00:05:02Max prep the jet. I'm heading to Atlanta
00:05:05Atlanta
00:05:10Dr. Wilson that I'm sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta Atlanta. The game is afoot. I'm going
00:05:17Wait, dr. Wilson the Prince of Bhutan. He's your medic. You can wait. I need to pick up my bride
00:05:26Dr. Wilson
00:05:28I
00:05:36Was starting to say most of our headed to Atlanta
00:05:39Atlanta
00:05:41Where's that whatever prepare my warplane those who bring up to my fiance this is
00:05:59I
00:06:05Secretly allowed your husband Jared Cooper to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to
00:06:11Thank you so much. Ellen. This is gonna be the best anniversary gift ever
00:06:16That project is worth billions. He can finally take his company public, but Angela
00:06:22my boss I
00:06:24Don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity
00:06:30Without your backing
00:06:32No offense, but he's nothing without you
00:06:35Well three years ago
00:06:54I
00:07:06Didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress
00:07:13But now with this
00:07:15Contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public
00:07:20So that's why you have me secretly helping him
00:07:24I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out
00:07:28But why work at the flea market are you
00:07:33Disguising yourself to test him. Well, these exotic spices are
00:07:37Incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find plus I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom
00:07:44You seem happy being a housewife
00:07:55Yeah, it's a big day today
00:07:59That was my mother-in-law Carol. She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family
00:08:06But she's gonna be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am
00:08:12You know, she even remembered a third year anniversary
00:08:20Please spend more time with my son
00:08:25I
00:08:26Have a big announcement. I have to make finally you're back now sign the divorce papers
00:08:34Divorce papers
00:08:37Is this some sort of misunderstanding mom
00:08:41God
00:08:42Don't call me mom again. We're ending that relationship. Just look at you dirt all over
00:08:49You're selling the title of mrs. Cooper you don't deserve my son you're way below his league
00:08:56I'm below his league. That's right
00:08:59You are
00:09:01Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk and then his company's going public
00:09:09that's how much he's accomplished in three years, but you
00:09:13You're still just a stinky hippie peddler
00:09:18Jared's like the king in the clouds
00:09:21You will always just be a pawn like dirt
00:09:27on our shoes
00:09:30Dirt on your shoes
00:09:32But Ellen Musk works for me
00:09:36You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen. How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:44Resorting to lies definitely not good enough for Jared
00:09:48Who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:09:55You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife
00:10:01Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee not a lowlife dirtbag enough
00:10:07Jared
00:10:09I knew you wouldn't divorce me
00:10:11But I am
00:10:13But I am
00:10:15Don't fight it Angela
00:10:17There's 500k. You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices
00:10:23Sign the papers take a check and leave don't embarrass yourself further
00:10:31So much for you these past three years
00:10:34Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:38Didn't expect you to be so greedy
00:10:41Fine here's another 200,000
00:10:45500,000 is too much for her already. She's done. Nothing hasn't even contributed a grandchild
00:10:52She just sells cheap grass all day. Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you? I
00:10:59Took care of both of you these past three years
00:11:01You
00:11:04Think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something and she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench a
00:11:12Hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO
00:11:16What a joke if you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already and leave
00:11:24You
00:11:26Really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me let alone taking the company public I
00:11:34Did everything for you Jared now you take credit for my son success
00:11:44It's all my work
00:11:47baby
00:11:49We're gonna be late for the auction if we keep letting this
00:11:53Psycho stall us
00:11:55You did say you would win me princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:00so
00:12:02She's the reason for the divorce
00:12:04She's worth more than you Angela
00:12:08Fine I'll sign it
00:12:12But don't regret it
00:12:15Regret
00:12:17You know who I am
00:12:19Yeah a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed, I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter
00:12:27Jared winning the bid a maple plaza was because of my dad because he's business partners with Ellen Musk
00:12:36It's part of the power. I have
00:12:41You can't do shit because you're poor
00:12:45social stratum matters
00:12:47Yeah
00:12:48social stratum does matter
00:12:50and the Coopers are
00:12:52Beneath me and you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me, huh?
00:12:59You're delusional now sign the papers and scram
00:13:09You dirty bitch you sick of me
00:13:18You hit me
00:13:22Outside the papers take a check and get the fuck out
00:13:40I don't need your penny money
00:13:43I
00:13:45Finished you don't want the money. That's your loss
00:13:49Your check is just pennies to me, but I would like my ring back
00:14:04Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here
00:14:13And I'm way out of your league
00:14:22Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring
00:14:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars
00:14:30Well, it's probably just cheap glass
00:14:33Something she found at the flea market. You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive
00:14:38Expensive
00:14:41Congrats Jared boo-boo. I'm getting rid of that dirt bag. Oh
00:14:47My dad says there's gonna be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit
00:14:54Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk. Yeah, and nobody's met them, but I can introduce you
00:15:02Everything's thanks to you
00:15:09You
00:15:19Angela mr. Vanderbilt the richest man in Georgia wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding Vanderbilt
00:15:25Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies basically our employee. Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow
00:15:31It's fine. Well, you're still going to the summit tomorrow, but you and Jared Cooper are already divorced
00:15:36That's exactly why I'm going
00:16:00Angela Lockhart, I
00:16:03Finally found you
00:16:06Who is he at?
00:16:08That's Devin Sterling
00:16:09He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list an early investor of crypto CEO of sterling enterprises
00:16:17Rumor has it he's worth trillions
00:16:19and he's
00:16:20your fiance
00:16:22What what my fiance the one and only?
00:16:28So after running away and leaving me single for three years
00:16:33Have you figured out how you're gonna make it up to me yet, babe?
00:16:45That tiara looks perfect on you
00:16:51What is she doing here
00:16:56You skank my son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man
00:17:03divorced
00:17:05That's right, so I guess this was never meant to be
00:17:12Sterling Devin
00:17:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man guess she's not just a forsaken woman
00:17:21She's also a stinky penniless whore
00:17:26How dare you insult my boss like that
00:17:30Fuck are you bitch?
00:17:33Do you know who I am?
00:17:35They don't know who you are
00:17:38You hide it well
00:17:41X team teach these fools a lesson
00:17:46Teach these fools a lesson
00:17:51Sir you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York you forgot to bring the security team
00:18:00Hmm
00:18:03But if I borrow your men
00:18:10Chelsea's ill-mannered. It's out. Oh you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson
00:18:23Kiss
00:18:26No
00:18:33Uh
00:18:35Guest list is very distinguished tonight
00:18:37You've got bill Ford Harvey Buffett old money like me
00:18:43gentlemen
00:18:44Harvey bill, this is Jared Cooper pleased to meet you all your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor I
00:18:52Heard you secured the Maple Plaza project. That's worth billions of dollars
00:18:57Congrats, you'll be next. Thank you. Well, we haven't received the contract yet
00:19:01We deserve it hard. Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk
00:19:06Vanderbilts and miss musk have always had a good relationship
00:19:09so
00:19:10Thought I'd help the kid out pull a few strings
00:19:14Now we just have to impress miss musk special guest of honor
00:19:20I heard they're a very important and powerful guest
00:19:24Even wealthier than Ellen Musk
00:19:27We can just secure a position with this big shot we can feast for generations
00:19:41Excuse me second children. What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:49How did a hobo like you sneak in here
00:19:51Me a hobo
00:19:53How did cheating scumbag like you sneak in here sleep away? I told you Angela Lockhart. Don't bother stalking me
00:20:01Nothing will come of it and it only sickens me further
00:20:08This is your ex-husband
00:20:12What were you blindfolded when you married him who the hell is this you were cheating on me
00:20:21Oh
00:20:30Son you have to avenge me and Kaylee that wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up
00:20:39They even took Kaylee's tiara
00:20:51You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee get your hands off her
00:21:21It's
00:21:32It's him
00:21:34He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday
00:21:37Who are these peasants?
00:21:39These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musk and her special guest
00:21:44Shut up old man
00:21:47You're disturbing the peace
00:21:51Fuckers you know who that is. That's Eric Vanderbilt
00:21:55You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has his ancestors built the railway and steamship Empire of America
00:22:01The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement
00:22:06Vanderbilt
00:22:07the father of that skank
00:22:10Kaylee Vanderbilt who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed
00:22:16that
00:22:21Oh
00:22:26Damn it stomachache now
00:22:32Whatever Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine
00:22:48How dare you call one of us low
00:22:51I'm Harvey Effinbuffet the most important investor in the entire stock market
00:22:56Wipe you out with a simple pinky only
00:23:00And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair
00:23:04Not with me around I built Ford in the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen
00:23:11You're all just peasants compared to who I really am
00:23:15You're fucking delusional Angela. We've had enough of your games
00:23:21security
00:23:22Break their limbs and toss them out looks like the old guard is teaming up against you
00:23:29You got your money I
00:23:33Can handle myself. Thank you. Yes, my great
00:23:37You're all despicable
00:23:41insult to your family names
00:23:45Now
00:23:46It's my turn to rule
00:23:49destroy Jared Cooper
00:23:51cut off all business ties and if you don't I
00:23:57Will take away all of your family's wealth and power
00:24:03Here to fuck with me you can't fool anyone here
00:24:06How much money did you spend on that get up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:10You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market you have nothing and you will always be nothing
00:24:19She's a gold digger
00:24:22gold digger
00:24:25Wanna try me for a night
00:24:28Yeah, you're a little too pricey mr. Vanderbilt. We really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer
00:24:33They might upset miss Ellen musk and her special guest Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife
00:24:38She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the maple plaza project. Oh
00:24:42She shut dirty
00:24:49Security
00:24:51You all don't realize that you actually all work for me and now you're trying to throw a coup
00:24:57you
00:24:59Insolent fools, let me guess you're that special guest
00:25:05I don't know
00:25:06Throw them out and not without some broken bones, too
00:25:17Back down I got this
00:25:36Oh
00:25:49What the hell are you two doing here I
00:25:52Thought we're supposed to guard you. No, you're supposed to make sure miss Lockhart is okay. Oh my god. We're so screwed
00:26:07Angela
00:26:10Don't hurt her you bitch. I've always been sick of you. You just threw yourself at me
00:26:15How dare you insult my boss like that boss?
00:26:19her boss
00:26:20Miss musk
00:26:22That's Ellen musk that woman right there is Angela Lockhart my boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune
00:26:29Their lineage is older than this country itself
00:26:33past the American Revolution
00:26:34Back to the Renaissance
00:26:36If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is that lady Lockhart to you?
00:26:41She's royalty and since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss
00:26:48Kneel to me. Oh
00:26:51Your majesty. Welcome to the United States
00:27:05My queen, please forgive our insolence
00:27:10What are you doing idiot let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness
00:27:25What rightfully belongs to you
00:27:34You
00:27:44She's a badass herself he missed out on a good wife
00:27:48You you you told me your wife was a hippie peddler. Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time
00:27:56No, no, don't believe their lies. I worked hard for everything
00:27:59You worked for everything
00:28:04I
00:28:13Can't focus on anything trivial like that
00:28:15I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project and if I get it I can take the company public
00:28:29You were nothing before me
00:28:32All your achievements all your glory, that's all mine
00:28:37including the Maple Closet contract I
00:28:40Can take all of that away?
00:28:43Just like oh, you can't take that away from me. That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody. Oh
00:28:52This antique wedding ring
00:28:54Yeah, I forgot to tell you it was Queen Victoria's and it's worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP
00:29:02I
00:29:08Gave you back the ring
00:29:22Man looks like they started the party without us. No one's allowed to start a fight without cold eyes now
00:29:31I
00:29:34Got these two again
00:29:35Did he say is he cold Eisenhower?
00:29:39President Eisenhower's dissent after General Eisenhower won World War two each of his descendants
00:29:44Have all gone on to become five-star generals the highest rank in the nation's military bloody buffoons know your history
00:29:50Sorry, I'm late, babe. I got lost trying to find Atlanta then lost again. I'm on my way back to New York
00:29:58And
00:30:00That there is that is the legendary the boy genius dr. Wilson. He's dr. House's protege. Dr
00:30:08How I thought that was just a TV show. Oh, no, that's based on real figure. Yep. That's me
00:30:13son of James house
00:30:15Dr. House, he's practically my uncle. I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old
00:30:21So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15
00:30:27I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop
00:30:35Hey Alan, who are these weirdos and why are they here? They're all your fiance
00:30:44Fiancee
00:30:47Girl fiancee's plural
00:30:50What's it nurse? I'm her fiance. No, I'm her fiance. You can both shut up. I'm her fiance
00:30:58It's you. It's me. Who the hell is he? I'm spider-man
00:31:04How are all three of these men my fiance your father had arranged these engagements years ago
00:31:11But I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time
00:31:16She has three badass fiance's and she marries his dumb ass
00:31:22Whatever since you're all here help me finish them
00:31:29Since you're all here help me finish them
00:31:34At your service me too
00:31:37Oh
00:31:41One down two more to go she's become Queen Bishop to G4
00:31:53Most German fest and water in the Nile River
00:32:00Ruck to a
00:32:06I
00:32:09Thought I was king. No, you wish the king doesn't do anything. So Alan can be my king
00:32:21Pick up the Ford's right this second
00:32:27Hi, I've been bankrupt
00:32:37I
00:32:42Told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate
00:32:47Well, guess what game over? All right, boys
00:32:50Let's figure out this four-way engagement. Oh, that's serious
00:32:58Wait for me nobody beats me to the finish line
00:33:06Angela
00:33:13You already have three fiance's you can't accuse me of cheating I want compensation
00:33:23You greedy SOB
00:33:26My ex-husband
00:33:27Wait, you were married. Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement more for me
00:33:35No, no, of course not. Just
00:33:38Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:40Don't steal my joke. I can make him disappear without a trace all the evidence of your past with him
00:33:47What is there something on my face, uh, yeah murderous intent
00:33:52Let's remarry
00:33:54Let's remarry
00:33:56You still don't realize I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago
00:34:05Oh
00:34:29Sir it's an emergency
00:34:31We need to wreck right away a coal Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse, okay, I'm on my way
00:34:41She should be okay now
00:34:46Hey you watch over here, I'll be right back
00:35:02I'm waiting. We gave away my own wife
00:35:07Fuck I'm waiting. We gave away my own wife
00:35:10You've cheated on me. You've hit me you've insulted me
00:35:15And after all that, I never want to see you again. I fucking hate you
00:35:24What now
00:35:27We understand that you are a
00:35:29Very busy person, but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project, how about us three?
00:35:36Yes, I'd like that scumbag. We won't turn on you
00:35:40Yeah, no, you're all fired for trying to throw a coup
00:35:45This is your fault you do first we never should have believed your bullshit
00:35:48I
00:35:58Get you for this
00:36:05Never should have listened to you
00:36:19So, what's the situation here? I don't want to marry you
00:36:35I don't want to marry you
00:36:38Listen I
00:36:40Only met you guys a few hours ago, and I'm not interested in flash marriages, but what if I told you?
00:36:48That we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours
00:37:04My lovely princess, how are you? Look your mother and I are in Italy the views here are absolutely stunning
00:37:12Perfect for a wedding. Would you say I?
00:37:15heard you
00:37:16Finally divorce that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free little husband of yours
00:37:22Call his name, but anyway
00:37:25Congratulations, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him
00:37:32You must pick one of them to marry otherwise
00:37:35Let me do it. You must choose one of them in seven days. Otherwise
00:37:42We'll kill ourselves
00:37:44Mom all right, honey. That's it. Bye. Bye
00:37:53So we're going to choose
00:37:57Well, what if I want all three of you
00:38:02well
00:38:04What if I want all three of you?
00:38:08That seems greedy
00:38:15But I
00:38:17Can always remove the other two options?
00:38:20Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too. I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world
00:38:30No murder, please I was just kidding
00:38:34You have seven days to win her over
00:38:38It's like the Bachelorette, I know we'll start with challenge one
00:38:45Welcome to the show the three badasses who want me today. We have our first challenge
00:38:53What is all of this you'll see
00:38:57All
00:39:09Women are afraid of cockroaches and it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature
00:39:17What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single?
00:39:27I
00:39:32Look like one of our contestants has already called it quits. It's up to the final two
00:39:57I
00:40:01Love is sick cold. Hey when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around
00:40:09There are two more left when I try one god, no, no, oh
00:40:15My god
00:40:17I'm
00:40:21A German folk doctor. These hands can't get germs on them. They're for surgery and saving lives
00:40:48Angela
00:40:52All right, you won the first challenge so your reward you get to watch over her for the night
00:40:58Just don't cross the line if you know what I mean, I'm not a scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about
00:41:09Honestly, even if you guys fuck it's not like it's against the rules or anything at least my girl can get some
00:41:14I bet her husband does a small dick anyway
00:41:17Oh
00:41:21There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay, I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow I
00:41:32Need a drink
00:41:34Oh
00:41:42Easy you're on an empty stomach. Are you trying to drink away your sorrows Angela?
00:41:53I
00:41:54Was blind for marrying that asshole
00:41:57you know, I
00:41:59Wasted three whole years of my life with him
00:42:03He never even loved me and I gave up my entire career for him
00:42:11Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around
00:42:19You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in
00:42:29Number one here
00:42:36You know, we've known each other kind of a long time lies
00:42:42You are just want something from me
00:42:50Angela I
00:42:52Know it's hard to trust again
00:42:55But I assure you I don't care
00:42:59What family you're from?
00:43:01I'm the richest man in the nation. I don't need your your power your your status your wealth your connections. I
00:43:10Just need you
00:43:14I'll prove my love to you within six days. I promise
00:43:18I
00:43:28Screw the contest. I just want love
00:43:34Angela you're drunk. I'm an adult. Can I go just get what she wants? Okay
00:43:41But
00:43:46Love and sex aren't exactly the same thing. Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either
00:44:02This is what you want
00:44:11You
00:44:31Morning to you too
00:44:34You sure you were drunk last night. You wouldn't a girl remembers when she's had a
00:44:39nine-inch
00:44:40penis
00:44:42Well, glad you enjoyed it
00:44:44But don't tell Shane or Cole
00:44:48Because then they would say that you're being unfair
00:44:52Technically us having sex doesn't break any rules
00:44:54I won the first challenge and according to Ellen my prize was to spend a night with you anyways
00:45:02Don't make this any harder than it already is
00:45:08You sure you don't want a pretty heart
00:45:11I
00:45:15Find fine fine. I
00:45:19Won't tell
00:45:21But only on one condition I
00:45:25Won't tell
00:45:27But only on one condition you have to go out on a date with me
00:45:32I
00:45:37Had a crush on you since college Angela you never noticed me
00:45:47You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you
00:45:52It's only 7 a.m. She's still sleeping. Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second
00:46:02Morning gentlemen. Oh, or shall I say rough men? Oh, don't mind him
00:46:09What's up, guys? We're ready for the second challenge
00:46:12No cockroaches this time. Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad Angela. This better be a good challenge Ellen
00:46:20I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one. The second challenge is
00:46:24The second challenge is a date lame. I should have asked for something else a date
00:46:31That's it
00:46:32What's the catch? No catch just to miss Lockhart enjoy spending her time with the most as simple as that
00:46:38I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first. Okay, what's up first then me?
00:46:43Save the best for last
00:46:45Ain't that right Angela and it's decided
00:46:52Please take my BMW away too bad you pissed off the Lockhart's
00:47:00That
00:47:09Bitch you ruined me
00:47:14That bitch you ruined me
00:47:16You
00:47:24Know
00:47:27Lieutenant this is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym. Pleasure to meet you. Madam. Eisenhower so serious, but hang on
00:47:36Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet, baby
00:47:39I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns guns like
00:47:45Murder weapons. Yes murder weapons
00:48:09Like my guns, babe pretty rock hard. Yeah
00:48:13Let me show you what I can do with them lieutenant come close
00:48:18Wait, you're just gonna hit him like that. He's not even gonna fight back fighting back. We'll be treason, ma'am treason
00:48:25Guys are way too serious
00:48:28Look you rock hard bitch. I caught you if I'm going down you're all going down with me
00:48:34Lieutenant
00:48:42Ah
00:48:47You dare try to hurt my wife I
00:48:52Will make you pay
00:48:55You don't keep beating him up we could just take him to the cops not when he tries to hurt you
00:49:00You
00:49:07It's always a bit violent some might call it being protective poor anger issues
00:49:12What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something? It's gonna be like
00:49:20Hey some girls are into that I don't know if I am well, maybe shame will be your type
00:49:30Your date with Shane starts now
00:49:38Cool ride a gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife impressive
00:49:47Your breath smells like peppermint
00:49:50refreshing I
00:49:52Got cool mint too, or do you prefer experiment?
00:49:57What do you not have in this coat of yours
00:50:00Fruit flavor go you can't stand though. So where are you taking me? Let me show you
00:50:15The IP of the IPs
00:50:18The IP of the IPs. Ah, just some other guys saved. I forget who you saved a lot of people
00:50:26Oh
00:50:28my gosh
00:50:29It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband
00:50:34Sandra Miller
00:50:35What are you doing here?
00:50:36I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs
00:50:39Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up
00:50:47Hello of you
00:50:48What are you doing here Sandra? Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high-end
00:50:56You couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs
00:50:59the auction begins
00:51:01I'll deal with you later
00:51:11Cameron I have a task for you
00:51:15Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary
00:51:20Cleopatra's armband sold by our vendor
00:51:23Sandra Miller for five million dollars
00:51:28Excuse me. I like to donate this piece to auction. It's Queen Victoria's ring. I
00:51:35Like to donate this piece to auction. It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:51:41Just watch
00:51:48That is Queen Victoria's ring
00:51:50Please I'm an expert and that's a fake
00:51:53She probably got it at the flea market. She works at you work at a flea market
00:51:58Not this again
00:51:59Cut the bullshit that wouldn't even sell for $5. Oh, yeah
00:52:03Do you want it for free?
00:52:05You know, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler
00:52:10Well, that's too bad then because you are the frog
00:52:14Oh
00:52:16What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me throw them out?
00:52:22I know you're a legend in medicine
00:52:25Professionals. Oh, yeah, and that armband sells for five million dollars
00:52:31Yeah, mine is the real thing. You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items
00:52:38Oh, is that so we're a so-called expert fell to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then
00:52:44Dear Lord
00:52:46This is real, it's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:52:55Karen what have you found? Yeah that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me. It's a replica. I
00:53:04Had the same one right here at the flea market so
00:53:09You are the fraud
00:53:11You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes
00:53:14Cameron how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:18150 Wow, not even five dollars
00:53:23Sandra
00:53:32What's going on dr. Wilson
00:53:36Investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor Japan, but lackluster from the jewelry industry forever
00:53:44I
00:53:51Had a really great time tonight me too. May I have a kiss
00:53:57Oh
00:54:12Something wrong. Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:21Yep, you never have to worry about stinky breath for me
00:54:27Oh
00:54:34You
00:54:35owe us a bunch of money
00:54:37I
00:54:38Don't have any money. How did you pay for this hotel? I
00:54:43Guess you'll only pay up
00:54:47If I break your other leg
00:54:49Up
00:54:54Mr. Vanderbilt
00:54:58Mr. Buffett
00:55:03This is the contract for the maple plaza project, that's right. Miss musk wanted me to give it to you
00:55:09New Angela was still in love with me. I
00:55:12Knew Angela was still in love with me. No. No, sir. Sorry about those injuries from earlier. It was all just
00:55:18a misunderstanding
00:55:20Yeah, we could be partners again
00:55:23And then maybe you can
00:55:25Tell the lady Lockhart put in a good word for us. Mm-hmm. Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit
00:55:32She'll be back to me soon enough. Yeah, do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her. I
00:55:39Was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago, and now they're all begging me to help them out
00:55:45Feels so damn good to be in power
00:55:48Sure
00:55:49I'll put in a good word for you. I just need anything. You tell us we'll give you anything once I take everything from these
00:55:57Idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge
00:56:08I'll give you the contract that you have it cool, but just like you asked me to well done. He'll be fucked soon
00:56:13Well done, he'll be fucked soon, I don't get it miss musk a contract has a preliminary clause
00:56:20Requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front. It's a deposit and if you can't then what?
00:56:25They'll be bankrupt. So as long as it's greedy have to take it
00:56:30I'm avenging my best friend. I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart. He's nothing
00:56:44I signed the maple plaza project
00:56:47We should celebrate you did you see I know my son hasn't hit him that skank Angela is
00:56:54Nothing next to you, and it's all thanks to you, sweetheart
00:56:59Actually, it's thanks to Angela
00:57:04What
00:57:05You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife. Oh, no, no, no, he's not Jerry
00:57:11I'm doing you have such a beautiful and great future ahead of you. It's my decision mom
00:57:17I'm the head of the house here
00:57:20I'm telling my dad fine go right ahead. He has enough problems himself if you're obedient
00:57:25I'll keep you around as a side piece, but if not you can scram
00:57:29dad
00:57:31Jared is being mean to me teach him a lesson be a good girl. Okay?
00:57:37Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now. Don't get on his bad side
00:57:42We can't afford to piss him off. So do as he says
00:57:54Sorry
00:58:00Now let's go celebrate I
00:58:03I
00:58:05Mean do I really want to be with mr. Minty mouth forever though, but that tongue action though
00:58:12Tongue is important in more than just one spot. We are in public. It's true. Oh
00:58:18Stop my cake
00:58:20Again, I have to run to the bathroom. Devin should be here to pick you up soon
00:58:26Devin's late not a good sign for a date
00:58:29This
00:58:32Hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars
00:58:36It's her she's alone with no one to save her
00:58:42You whore you seduce my son so he could back with you
00:58:50Let me tell you I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me
00:58:59Hey, you guys can fight all you want you take this somewhere else
00:59:03Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this
00:59:07She's the one starting shit because I have money and you don't you're just a stinky hippie peddler
00:59:14And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract
00:59:18He still got the contract
00:59:20Hmm must be Ellen's doing even if he does sign it. He doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front. Oh
00:59:28He's just gonna bet you've never seen this much cash before that you've never seen this much cash before
00:59:38You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own
00:59:43My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful
00:59:47$1,000 to take her away
00:59:50$2,000 to drag her away
00:59:53$5,000 to beat her away
00:59:57Oh
01:00:03You okay, are you hurt?
01:00:10Weekly you
01:00:11You just a few days ago. You found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced
01:00:16Now you have two more. What a whore
01:00:19What a whore. Yeah, and Jared wanted to get back with her
01:00:24What if she has an STD? Oh
01:00:26Like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD. Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared. I know
01:00:35What do you want? I'll scream I don't hear woman
01:00:44Oh
01:00:47God he is a murderer. What if he murders me? Not him. Definitely not him
01:00:57I wouldn't not afraid of you. That's enough. This isn't a war zone
01:01:01You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause I was just messing with them
01:01:08Was he though? We're not afraid of you
01:01:12Jared you have to avenge us. Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys. She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her
01:01:19Oh, mr. Cooper. It's you. I apologize for this scene
01:01:23I'll toss out the party crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet. What did you say?
01:01:28You were gonna toss out. What did you say? You were gonna toss out the party crashes. Oh
01:01:36You have any idea who that is that's my wife
01:01:42That's right, no, you're playing shut up she's cheating on you
01:01:47I
01:01:49Know your place you just decide peace if I still want you that is Eric. Have you gone mad?
01:01:54This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter you slap her for this whore. Mom
01:02:00They really think there's something huh?
01:02:02Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age. She's richer even than Ellen Musk
01:02:09I only got the Maple Closet project because she gave it to me
01:02:13What you apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb
01:02:25I'm sorry
01:02:29This can't be I made you divorce
01:02:35Go home you're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet
01:02:44I
01:02:45apologize on behalf of my mother
01:02:48Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements. I promise. No one will bother you anymore. I
01:02:55Didn't come here for you. I'm on a date
01:03:00two men at the same time
01:03:03She really is a whore. Please forgive me. I really do love you
01:03:08Oh
01:03:11Lady Lockhart is here
01:03:16Lady Lockhart is here
01:03:19Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort
01:03:23We're too old for that. They're here for my celebration banquet
01:03:26Please you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you
01:03:31Oh, yes, please miss Lockhart join us. We'll all be one happy business family again
01:03:38What the hell are you all doing here? Where were you?
01:03:42stomach issues
01:03:44Again, would you like my diagnosis? No
01:03:49Let me make myself clear, okay, I would rather die than be with you again
01:03:57She knew that they're not actually on good terms. I
01:04:01Can't lose face in front of these bricks. Otherwise, they'll cut me off to Angela
01:04:05I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you
01:04:09You want a chance Angela? No, you have three great guys here who all want to marry you don't take him back
01:04:17I'll give you two choices
01:04:20I'll give you two choices
01:04:24Me
01:04:26for the contract
01:04:29No, I'm not kidding you
01:04:32If you choose me we can remarry this week, but you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract
01:04:39The choice is all yours
01:04:41That's a tough choice
01:04:43Did you think so? He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon either way benefits
01:04:51Why can't I have both you really are a greedy bastard Angela? I saved you in the pool. Remember I deserve the contract
01:05:00Did you really
01:05:05Look who's fashion relate now
01:05:08He didn't save her at the pool
01:05:11But what are you talking about? I I choose the contract. I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you
01:05:20With this contract my company's earning potential is limitless
01:05:24Angela Lockhart you humiliated me in front of everyone. I will get you one day
01:05:29Let me show you something
01:05:42You saved me
01:05:48You saved me I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life
01:05:56But I promise you
01:05:59I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives. No. No, I wasn't lying
01:06:03I just couldn't can't remember exactly what happened that day
01:06:14Does that mean we both each saved her once
01:06:18What me?
01:06:21Dr. Wilson losing at saving people. No way you guys one of you do something life-threatening right now
01:06:28You're crazy
01:06:31Actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back what
01:06:38Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts
01:06:45Put it simply
01:06:47They've been stealing. I
01:06:49Can't believe I didn't realize
01:06:51Miss Lockhart, I'm so sorry. I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly. No, it's not your fault
01:06:58They're just too slick like me to punish them. Oh god. No, not that again, please
01:07:04max
01:07:06You know
01:07:20The banks have pulled all of our fun all business ties have been severed
01:07:28No
01:07:31How did you do that, who are you and don't say spider-man
01:07:37I'll tell you who I am
01:07:41I'll tell you who I am. I
01:07:45Am
01:07:47Crypto punk number two. What did he say? He was more bizarre than spider-man
01:07:53You're crypto punk number two
01:07:56well
01:07:57I'm crypto punk. Number one. See you are number one at something the most expensive NFT collection in the world
01:08:04forget Forbes's list
01:08:06It's all about young money now
01:08:08So how about our date?
01:08:16I'm not letting them one-up me on this one. Let's buy two
01:08:28I
01:08:35Still have the 100 billion dollar project. Yes
01:08:50What
01:08:57Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions
01:09:14Allow me
01:09:17I'm sorry. I was late my queen had to get some very important materials
01:09:24for our special date
01:09:26Well, cheers
01:09:28Cheers
01:09:37This looks good
01:09:43Did you use my spices I know your ex-in-law's never appreciated you
01:09:51You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you
01:09:57I
01:09:58Couldn't even remember our anniversary
01:10:04Angela
01:10:06Your future with me
01:10:10It's gonna be different
01:10:26I
01:10:36Can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years just because of some silly mistake Angela
01:10:44I've known and loved you for three whole years
01:10:47actually
01:10:49I've also loved you for three years
01:10:52That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too
01:10:56How is all of this possible? I
01:10:59Didn't meet any of you until recently
01:11:01well, actually, maybe Devin but
01:11:06Thought a crush on you since college
01:11:09You're my motivation to go to business school
01:11:13Despite you who you were you never judged me for being poor
01:11:19Are you trying to get hired at fortune 500 in a suit like that
01:11:27All you do is babble on and on about internet money Bitcoin and shit like that
01:11:35Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:11:47Five see girl I like her
01:11:57I
01:12:00Was he it's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa
01:12:05Hosh to go salty. Can you be cured? I actually think I know that poison
01:12:10It sounds really scary, but it's cure can actually be found in any developed country
01:12:14household salt
01:12:22I like her
01:12:25There you go
01:12:31Shoot I'm late for some practice
01:12:38I
01:12:40like her
01:12:42We have been rivals ever since
01:12:44So that's how I well
01:12:47We all met I barely remember should have never let you go to swim practice that day
01:12:54Matthew Richards the guy poisoned me
01:12:58Attacked you out of revenge. You wouldn't have known I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though
01:13:02That makes you feel any better
01:13:04Yeah, I think that suits him a little better
01:13:07Angela your seven days is almost up now that you know, they all loved and fought for you for three years
01:13:14Who will you pick?
01:13:17Oh
01:13:20Couldn't it be Angela Lockhart is an heiress
01:13:30We've come bankrupt
01:13:33Bankrupt the Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt
01:13:37Well, then get out of here
01:13:39I
01:13:49Have carefully reconsidered Angela is way better than this dimwit. You should get back with your wife. I'm bankrupt
01:14:01Jarrett
01:14:04We are here to propose to no one is going to save you now
01:14:15What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs
01:14:22Who will you pick I
01:14:24I
01:14:31Brought you fried chicken fried chicken. Hey, no girls like sushi and caviar. Yeah, he's right
01:14:37I did live in Atlanta for three months
01:14:39Sucking up last minute at least I don't speak like an AI robot
01:14:44Hey, stop stop
01:14:48Welcome back to the bachelorette. I
01:14:50Mean the three badasses who want me I mean
01:14:54Angela Lockhart
01:14:56You know what? I mean today our heiress bachelorette will choose which one of our three badasses. Will she marry?
01:15:05Will it be Shane the doctor?
01:15:09Cole the general
01:15:13Or Devin the CEO
01:15:15Uh
01:15:19Looks like our bachelorette may need to do a little more time to decide. Oh, the suspense is killing me
01:15:26But when she does she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice and give it to our way
01:15:35Angela
01:15:38Oh, I
01:15:42Need more time to think
01:15:45Uh
01:15:49While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:15:54Let's check in with each of our candidates
01:15:57Let's start with Cole Cole
01:16:04There's not much to say
01:16:05Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge biceps a massive chest?
01:16:12Who would protect their life?
01:16:15I
01:16:17Thank you, uh Shane
01:16:22Muscles money
01:16:25The only you so far, but you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:28It has more than one way to keep a lady happy if you know what I mean
01:16:36I think we do and Devin that was quite disgusting. I
01:16:42I
01:16:44Just hope Angela's okay. I know she's going under a lot of stress right now a lot of choices to make
01:16:52She's my queen
01:16:54Let's really hope she's okay
01:16:56Now one more thing what kind of a doctor?
01:16:59Brings fried chicken to a girl
01:17:02It's a good point back for her heart
01:17:06And then you what you know what they say about military men
01:17:11They beat their wives
01:17:17No
01:17:20Stand up
01:17:22Hey you guys
01:17:24Whoa break it up. Hey break it up
01:17:41I
01:17:53This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life, who do I choose?
01:18:00Angela's marry me. Oh, yeah. I may be a doctor. But like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world
01:18:11What don't you have a
01:18:14Fruit-flavored gum. I won't let you take Angela away from me. I'll fight you to the death
01:18:19Don't forget about me
01:18:21I
01:18:23Won't let you take Angela away from me. I'll fight you to the death. Don't forget about me
01:18:29It's time. I don't feel my true
01:18:32identity
01:18:35These stupid profile cards don't make any sense. They do not help who made these
01:18:53Oh
01:18:58It's time I reveal my true identity
01:19:04I'm actually a part of the X-Men and I have the power of telekinesis
01:19:24You may have to work together to take him down
01:19:39This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced I
01:19:43May not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up
01:19:46hmm
01:19:48winterment or cool
01:19:54You know
01:19:56I've always really liked your hair. Really?
01:19:59I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it. So I appreciate that
01:20:06Cool I've always really liked the way you talk
01:20:15What do you got for me? I always really like the way you chew gum. Yeah. Yeah, it's fresh, right? Yeah
01:20:24Yeah
01:20:26You're actually
01:20:30You need me to look at you I got you
01:20:34Angela's been kidnapped
01:20:36Angela's been kidnapped
01:20:38It was Jerry Cooper
01:20:40That fucker we have to find her. What help her ring
01:20:44Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case. Well, let's go this
01:20:50My fiance my fiance
01:20:53Oh
01:21:04You destroyed me
01:21:07They took everything
01:21:11Nothing left
01:21:13It's not my fault you're too greedy
01:21:17Greedy
01:21:19my wife
01:21:21I'm not your wife anymore. Yeah, I know you wouldn't take me back now. Not unless I get you pregnant with my child
01:21:27This is illegal. You wouldn't want your child to be away from his father. You won't have me arrested
01:21:33You will take me back
01:21:51We'll be begging me to fuck you soon. Hey
01:22:01Too late, I drugged her she'll be dead soon. Yeah, have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:08It really does have everything in scope everything except for fruit flavored gum. We get it already. Just save my boss
01:22:21Oh
01:22:23You're all good now, thank God
01:22:26Well, what do we do with that piece of shit? What what are you gonna do to me?
01:22:31Hey, stop. No
01:22:35Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever
01:22:42Why'd we didn't actually have that fight turns out he's the most dangerous of them all
01:22:51So
01:22:53Who did you pick sweetheart? We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding the prince of Bhutan
01:23:00And remember we will kill ourselves if you don't choose
01:23:08Welcome back to the finale of the three badasses who want me we're down to the wire
01:23:14Literally the wedding day, but who's the groom?
01:23:22Welcome back to the finale of the three badasses who want me, but who's the groom?
01:23:31Seems our heiress still hasn't decided
01:23:34Any input from the parents? Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice
01:23:40This is exciting
01:23:42Who's the groom?
01:23:44Parents maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice
01:23:48This is exciting. Huh? Who should my daughter pick?
01:23:53Let me think
01:23:57I'd like the doctor. He's cute
01:24:02But but the general looks like a strong fellow
01:24:06And we can't forget about Devin Sterling the one who's loved her the longest isn't that right Devin?
01:24:12Angela
01:24:14You
01:24:19Are all three very fine gentlemen and
01:24:25I'm really grateful for all of your love
01:24:28but
01:24:30this was a really hard decision and I
01:24:34decided to devise one last challenge and
01:24:38I
01:24:40Decided to devise one last challenge
01:24:45I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are
01:24:52Each of our candidates have saved our main character
01:24:56I mean bachelorette once they've all proven their undying love
01:25:01So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart literally?
01:25:07Could it be the sexy and protective general with a temper mr. Cole Eisenhower
01:25:15Or
01:25:19The fun wicked minded but kind of weird, dr. Shane Wilson
01:25:28And last but not least could it be the richest man of them all
01:25:33The man Angela would have married a long time ago. Mr. Devin Sterling
01:25:40Gentlemen
01:25:43It's been a pleasure getting to know you
01:25:46May the best man win
01:25:48May the best man win
01:25:51drumroll, please
01:26:06Seriously Ricky
01:26:13I choose
01:26:24I need a powerful strong man. I really feel like you can protect me
01:26:31Who could resist those guns
01:26:35They interest you in an NFD Ellen like full-body
01:26:42Oh
01:26:52Shane it's you. I'm lovesick for you. I like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:01It's that tongue action ladies and gents
01:27:12You
01:27:20It's always been you
01:27:30I'll always love you. Let's give it up for those nine inches everybody
01:27:39Have you seen my murder
01:27:42You