In 1963, liberal-minded and reckless Lydia Callahan is raising her 14-year-old son, Sam. Lydia's father Caspar, a prominent local businessman, is running for governor of North Carolina, and does not want Lydia and Sam in his way, so the two are banished from North Carolina. They travel across the country and settle in Wyoming, where Lydia only wants to have a good time and refuses to allow Sam to call her "mom."
Sam soon finds out that he is one of only two students in Gro Vont High School who read. The other one is Maurey, a girl the same age as Sam who wants to learn about zex Consequent to their mutual discoveries, Maurey becomes pregnant. She decides to have an abortion in a distant hospital and, by accident, runs into her mother and the baseball coach who are also there for the same reason.
Sam soon finds out that he is one of only two students in Gro Vont High School who read. The other one is Maurey, a girl the same age as Sam who wants to learn about zex Consequent to their mutual discoveries, Maurey becomes pregnant. She decides to have an abortion in a distant hospital and, by accident, runs into her mother and the baseball coach who are also there for the same reason.
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FunTranscript
00:01:00Oh, these chains of love got a hold on me, yeah.
00:01:11Chains, well, I can't break away from these chains.
00:01:18I can't run around, cause I'm not free.
00:01:26Oh, these chains of love won't let me be, yeah.
00:01:36Now believe me when I tell you, I think you're fine.
00:01:44I'd like to love you, but darling, I'm imprisoned by these chains.
00:01:53My baby's got me locked up in chains.
00:01:58And they ain't the kind that you can see.
00:02:06Oh, these chains of love got a hold on me, yeah.
00:02:15Chains.
00:02:24Yeah.
00:02:30Call me Sam.
00:02:31I am a writer of literature.
00:02:33I started writing the day my grandfather sent my mom and me into exile,
00:02:37a day when most human beings would wallow in self-pity.
00:02:41I chose this moment to honor my calling.
00:02:44So this is my story.
00:02:46And unlike other writers of literature, I won't skip the good parts.
00:02:53Samuel.
00:02:56Daddy, don't pull the plantation master act with Sam.
00:03:00He's innocent.
00:03:01Nothing you touch is innocent.
00:03:04One more mistake,
00:03:06and the boy goes to the custom military academy.
00:03:10Are those implications clear?
00:03:12Oh, yes, your daddyship.
00:03:15Sam, come.
00:03:18Break the cards.
00:03:24Casper claimed we were being exiled for our own good.
00:03:28What a load of crap.
00:03:30The truth is, he was planning to run for governor,
00:03:33and the thought of Lydia on the loose
00:03:35scared the wadding out of him.
00:03:37You know why I'm sending you and your mom to Wyoming?
00:03:42Because Lydia messed up again?
00:03:45You know, there comes a time
00:03:48when you have to set aside all childish things.
00:03:53But...
00:03:55Don't but, Grandpa.
00:03:58Go ahead. Throw them in.
00:04:01I had a good mind to go to Wyoming and croak.
00:04:04Then he'd really be sorry.
00:04:07Good boy. Good boy.
00:04:14Sam Callahan lay close to death
00:04:17after a cruel twist of fate.
00:04:19Giving him comfort was the most beautiful nurse he had ever seen.
00:04:31I'm sorry.
00:04:33He's not going to make it.
00:04:37Sam, I'm sorry that I shipped you and your mama
00:04:40out into the wilderness
00:04:42when you needed to be home most of all.
00:04:46Will you forgive me before you die, Sam?
00:04:49Hold on, sugar boy.
00:05:06So what'd you do to hack Kasparov so much?
00:05:09Not a thing. Not one eye out of him.
00:05:12It's combat.
00:05:15He told me about the Cuban and the strip show on the sailboat.
00:05:18Now, if this went so bad you can't tell me about it,
00:05:21just think what I'm liable to imagine.
00:05:23I'm as innocent as snow.
00:05:46When Horace Greeley said,
00:05:48Go west, young man,
00:05:50I don't think this is what he had in mind.
00:05:53Lydia drove 2,000 miles with the top down.
00:05:56She had no concept of altitude or temperature
00:05:59and couldn't read a map, so I navigated.
00:06:02We'd made an oath that Grandpa would never separate us.
00:06:05So as we drove further and further from home,
00:06:08it felt like we were orphans together.
00:06:10And the first southerner,
00:06:12It felt like we were orphans together.
00:06:14And the first southerners ever lost in Wyoming.
00:06:17Come on, Jimmy.
00:06:19Hey, sissy boy!
00:06:21This one's for you, honey.
00:06:23Get ready for this one.
00:06:25Whoa!
00:06:27He's not gonna get it.
00:06:29Come on!
00:06:31Come on!
00:06:33Come on!
00:06:35Come on!
00:06:37Come on!
00:06:39Come on!
00:06:42Watch out!
00:06:44Watch out!
00:06:51Sharp move, penny.
00:06:55Attention, students and faculty.
00:06:58The pep rally for Friday's football game
00:07:01will be after second period.
00:07:03At 2 p.m. today, we will conduct our A-bomb drill.
00:07:06Remember, students, duck and cover.
00:07:11Hi.
00:07:13I'm Howard Stevens.
00:07:15Sam Callahan.
00:07:17Okay, gang.
00:07:20Open Huckleberry Finn to page 47.
00:07:24And go on to Twain's brilliant...
00:07:27...dialect.
00:07:29Brilliant, my eye. No one talks like that.
00:07:32Well, why do you suppose Twain wrote in dialect
00:07:35if no one talks like that?
00:07:37He wanted Huck to seem stupid, and Jimmy even stupider.
00:07:40I've heard southern accents on TV,
00:07:42and no one talks like that.
00:07:44Well, Huck is from Missouri, which isn't the sound.
00:07:50Whoop-de-doo.
00:07:57We know that Mark Twain was one of the great proponents
00:08:00of equal rights for all.
00:08:03Now, we appreciate that here in the Equality State.
00:08:07Well, yeah, but Twain hated Jews.
00:08:10Are you Jewish?
00:08:14No.
00:08:16Well, how do you know he hated Jews?
00:08:18Well, I can read.
00:08:20How can you say that when...
00:08:24I don't...
00:08:26But you're from the South.
00:08:28Everyone in the South hates...
00:08:30I can't deny it.
00:08:38We can't stay here, Mom.
00:08:40Our relationship is based on mutual respect, Sam.
00:08:44You must never fling in my face the fact that I'm a mother.
00:08:47These kids are Nazis, Lydia.
00:08:50It's like the entire school was spawned
00:08:53by the mating of first cousins.
00:08:55Well, I bet that's why none of the men here have chins.
00:08:59Even the teacher's a first-degree ignoramus.
00:09:02That goes.
00:09:04I will not have the dead passing for odd.
00:09:07Only Casper would pick a house that has that.
00:09:17I've made a decision about this banishment deal.
00:09:21Should I be told?
00:09:23The way I conducted our life back in Carolina didn't work.
00:09:27I'll say.
00:09:29So...
00:09:31I'm calling a time-out.
00:09:34No more connections for a while.
00:09:37As of this moment,
00:09:40I'm declaring myself an emotional catatonic.
00:09:46Well, how's a catatonic supposed to raise a kid?
00:09:50I want to negotiate an arrangement.
00:09:55Now stand up straight. A gal is judged by her posture.
00:09:59Why do I have to go?
00:10:01Our new neighbors are Southern.
00:10:03What would they think if we didn't go out of our way to make them feel at home?
00:10:07But the kid's a squirrel.
00:10:09Gentlewomen do not compare people to animals, dear.
00:10:23What?
00:10:25Welcome, wagon.
00:10:27Hi, I'm Laurabelle Pierce, and this is my daughter, Maury.
00:10:31We'd like to welcome you to Gros Ventre, the friendliest little town in Wyoming.
00:10:35How quaint.
00:10:37Look, Sammy, it's the welcome wagon.
00:10:40Hi.
00:10:42Now, what have we here?
00:10:44Oh, this is a survival kit, you know, for moving into the new house.
00:10:47This for you?
00:10:49Chicken pot pie?
00:10:51Yeah, the good kind, with bottom crust.
00:10:53Maury's dad can't have bought pot pie without good bottom crust.
00:10:57Quick meals for the harried housewife.
00:11:00Yes, and every recipe starts with a can of cream of mushroom soup.
00:11:05Well, fuck me silly.
00:11:10Do I look like a housewife to you?
00:11:13No.
00:11:15Well, we just wanted you to feel at home in Gros Ventre.
00:11:19Oh, Sam and I won't be here long enough to mingle with the natives.
00:11:28There she is.
00:11:30Oh, keep your pants zipped, Jack.
00:11:32I'll be with you when I'm with you.
00:11:42Her name is Dot.
00:11:44Well, she's your silver parent.
00:11:46What kind of woman would name a child Dot?
00:11:51So, you're the father.
00:11:55So, you're the folks retting Doc Wardle's place.
00:12:02The guys paid me a dollar apiece to find out if you're single.
00:12:06Tell the guys I have five husbands,
00:12:10each one rich, mean and jealous.
00:12:14I'll be rotating them through on a weekly basis.
00:12:18That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
00:12:22Oh, just tell them I own a rifle.
00:12:29So, what happened in the seventh grade today?
00:12:34You really want to hear?
00:12:36If I don't want to hear, Casper will send you to the custom military academy.
00:12:39We wouldn't want that, would we?
00:12:42In social studies, Miss Sheets taught us how to write a check.
00:12:46You've been writing checks since you were six.
00:12:50And, uh, I think I'm in love with Mari Pierce.
00:12:54Well, that's nice.
00:12:56How do you know you're in love?
00:12:58Because I can't stand her.
00:13:01Well, that's always a good sign.
00:13:04She eats my guts. Called me pinhead.
00:13:07Sounds like love to me.
00:13:09You gotta eat that fast. That gravy's turning to axle grease.
00:13:19You know why I like you more than the other boys?
00:13:22Because you're the only two kids in seventh grade who can read?
00:13:25No, silly.
00:13:27Because you're so handsome.
00:13:50Ah.
00:14:09Ah!
00:14:20You're licking the mirror.
00:14:22I'm making contact.
00:14:25With who?
00:14:27Myself.
00:14:30Sam.
00:14:32You ever had a stiffy?
00:14:35Mom.
00:14:37I just realized...
00:14:40It's been years since I saw your little weenie.
00:14:45It was so cute when you were a baby.
00:14:49We had this black speck of basin I used to wash you in.
00:14:54And you would always pee straight up.
00:14:57Um, I hate when you talk about cute naked stuff.
00:15:01I did when I was little.
00:15:03Mm.
00:15:05Let's see.
00:15:08Oh.
00:15:11Over here.
00:15:17Mom.
00:15:34I didn't let myself go.
00:15:38You know, when Gulliver traveled to the land of yahoos,
00:15:42he must have come here.
00:15:44I think he just insulted you, Linnell.
00:15:47I don't care.
00:15:49What kind of show off studies on the bus anyways?
00:15:53This isn't a school book. This is literature.
00:15:56Literature! Literature!
00:15:59Literature!
00:16:01Literature!
00:16:03Literature!
00:16:05Literature!
00:16:07What literature?
00:16:09It's a classic coming-of-age story
00:16:12portraying one woman's poignant experiences
00:16:15with life, love, and sex.
00:16:17What do you know about sex?
00:16:19Well, after I finish this book, I'll know a lot more than you.
00:16:23Not that knowing more about sex than you do is a challenge.
00:16:36Have you been saved?
00:16:38From what?
00:16:40You'll go to hell unless you finish every bit of that.
00:16:43If a person goes to hell for not finishing a tuna croquette,
00:16:47I think I lost my salvation a long time ago.
00:16:55I'm sorry.
00:16:57I'm sorry.
00:16:59I'm sorry.
00:17:01I'm sorry.
00:17:04You coming?
00:17:06Yeah, sure.
00:17:17How's it going, Sam?
00:17:19Couldn't be better, sir.
00:17:21I don't know if you've heard,
00:17:23but we're mighty proud of our football team here at Gros Ventre High.
00:17:26How'd you like to sign up?
00:17:28I'd like to, sir, but my mom needs me at home.
00:17:31Not to the lack of humidity yet.
00:17:33See, the thing is, it takes 22 players to hold a practice,
00:17:37and I've only got 21,
00:17:39and half of them still suck their mama's tit at night.
00:17:42Well, I no longer nurse, sir.
00:17:44Let me explain to you
00:17:46the difference between an A and an F in English.
00:17:49Me coming out from football?
00:17:52No, that's the old school spirit.
00:17:58Jump to the left, jump to the right,
00:18:00sit down, stand up, fight, fight, fight!
00:18:03All right, boys, let's have a little game of spirit
00:18:05of the queer with the bald here!
00:18:07Hey, Sammy,
00:18:09why don't you tell us how your mama's hooters feel?
00:18:12About the same as your sister's.
00:18:14I ain't got a sister, stupid.
00:18:16743, hut, hut!
00:18:24Dorthin sure got him good.
00:18:26You think he's hurt?
00:18:28No, he's just playing possum.
00:18:31Sissy boy!
00:18:33Come on, get up!
00:18:35Come on, Sam, get up!
00:18:37Get up!
00:18:47...continues on the assassination
00:18:49of President John F. Kennedy.
00:18:51At 1235 Central Standard Time,
00:18:54President Kennedy was shot
00:18:56as his motorcade passed through downtown Dallas.
00:18:59Governor Connolly was also shot.
00:19:01Thousands of mourners have gathered
00:19:03at Parkland Memorial Hospital to mourn the passing...
00:19:06Uh-oh.
00:19:27Pa-pa-pa!
00:19:38They killed President Kennedy.
00:19:41Are you sure?
00:19:43It's on the news.
00:19:45Who killed him?
00:19:47Texans.
00:19:57Y'all crying over the nigger lover?
00:20:00Shut up, Dorthin.
00:20:02You know what all the kids
00:20:04are getting for Christmas this year?
00:20:06A jack-in-the-box.
00:20:13I never knew you cared.
00:20:18What are you doing, boy?
00:20:20Huh? Huh?
00:20:22Trying to take up for your girlfriend?
00:20:24Huh?
00:20:26What the hell is your problem, boys?
00:20:28Drop it.
00:20:30The hell they started, coach?
00:20:32Lay off.
00:20:34The little bastard's liable to hurt somebody.
00:20:36The president is dead, and he was celebrating.
00:20:38Let's get out of here.
00:20:41Let's get out of here.
00:20:46Where?
00:20:50We can watch the news at my house.
00:20:54You think they'll miss us?
00:20:56All the rules are off today, Sam.
00:20:58Nothing we do here is safe.
00:21:00I don't care.
00:21:02I don't care.
00:21:04I don't care.
00:21:06I don't care.
00:21:08Nothing we do matters.
00:21:12I guess it all depends on your perspective.
00:21:14As the rest of the country
00:21:16was mourning their great loss,
00:21:18things were actually starting
00:21:20to look up for me.
00:21:22What do you bet Mama
00:21:24heard about the assassination,
00:21:26but it's had no effect on her at all?
00:21:28She'll be baking cookies
00:21:30and waxing the kitchen floor.
00:21:32My mom's never baked a cookie in her life.
00:21:34Come on.
00:21:39Oh, you're home early.
00:21:41They let us out on account of the assassination.
00:21:45Isn't it a shame about Mr. Kennedy?
00:21:48I wonder if they'll let Petey out early, too,
00:21:50this afternoon.
00:21:52Well, I'll just finish these up,
00:21:54and then I'll make us some hot cocoa.
00:21:56This isn't the time for hot cocoa, Mom.
00:21:58It's always the time for cocoa.
00:22:00The whole world's gone straight to hell
00:22:02in a handbasket.
00:22:06I had to come down here
00:22:08because my television is out of order.
00:22:10What about you?
00:22:12I don't have a TV.
00:22:14Well, it's been years
00:22:16since I met anyone who didn't own a television.
00:22:18You must not meet many Indians.
00:22:22You're an Indian.
00:22:24I'm an Indian.
00:22:27You're an Indian.
00:22:31Blackfeet.
00:22:35My daddy can't stand Indians.
00:22:41I wish my dad was here.
00:22:43Where is he?
00:22:45We have a horse ranch 10 miles up in the mountains,
00:22:47and he has to feed every day,
00:22:49so he stays out there most of the winter.
00:22:51What's your dad do?
00:22:53I don't have a father.
00:22:57Did he die?
00:22:59Lydia won't tell me anything about him.
00:23:01When she's drunk, she claims virgin birth
00:23:03like Mary and Jesus.
00:23:05I'd like to see my mom drunk.
00:23:08It's not that neat.
00:23:11She has these pictures of five guys
00:23:13in old football uniforms in her panty box.
00:23:15Her panty box?
00:23:17I kind of figure one of them might be my dad.
00:23:19What were you doing in your mother's panty box?
00:23:22One of the guys is a Negro.
00:23:24Mom, home!
00:23:31Hey, we're watching that.
00:23:33This stinks.
00:23:35Mom!
00:23:37Maury won't let me watch Rocky.
00:23:40You know he watches Rocky every afternoon.
00:23:42What's the matter with you?
00:23:44Look, brat.
00:23:48The president of our country
00:23:50The president of our country is dead.
00:23:52Some things are more important
00:23:54than Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
00:23:56Daddy!
00:23:59Hey, that's my favorite girl.
00:24:12Hi.
00:24:14Hi.
00:24:20Hi.
00:24:41Lydia, there's an Indian in our kitchen.
00:24:44Oh, that's Hank.
00:24:46He's Black Photo.
00:24:48Oh, I see it. I get it mixed up.
00:24:51Hank knows loads of nifty stuff about the forest.
00:24:54You went into the forest?
00:24:56Oh, it was a hoot sound.
00:24:58I tried something new.
00:25:00How about that?
00:25:02How about that?
00:25:04You didn't expect me to stay on this couch forever, did you?
00:25:07So what's Hank doing in our kitchen?
00:25:10He's fixing supper.
00:25:12Some staple he said got his tribe through hard winters.
00:25:16So he's going to pass a break.
00:25:18Oh, isn't it wonderful?
00:25:20Hank, honey, what's that Indian thing you're making?
00:25:24Macaroni and cheese.
00:25:36Arrgh!
00:25:38Ah!
00:25:46Welcome, wagon.
00:26:08Ugh!
00:26:11Ugh!
00:26:15Jeez.
00:26:17Yuck.
00:26:27Explain this.
00:26:29Sammy?
00:26:31Lydia, I think there's something wrong with me.
00:26:33I must be sick or something.
00:26:35You blew your nose in your sock?
00:26:38This didn't come from my nose.
00:26:48You masturbated?
00:26:50I woke up with this stuff all over me.
00:26:55Were you dreaming right before you woke up?
00:27:03Was there a girl in your dream?
00:27:07Did you recognize her?
00:27:10She kissed me, and I felt funny.
00:27:16You had a wet dream, honey bunny.
00:27:19Boys have them all the time.
00:27:23Well, do something with it.
00:27:32You know, things like this don't happen to boys with fathers.
00:27:35So crucify me.
00:27:37Every kid in Wyoming probably knows what a wet dream is,
00:27:40and they're laughing at me right now.
00:27:42Call me a squirrel.
00:27:45Poor Sammy.
00:27:47He just moved a step closer to being a grown-up.
00:27:53I couldn't wait to tell Maura what I'd learned.
00:27:56I explained the whole process to her,
00:27:58except the part where her mom triggered the mess on my belly.
00:28:02How much goo came out?
00:28:04A cup, a quart?
00:28:06Not a quart.
00:28:07How much, then?
00:28:09Well, it was all spread out.
00:28:11About a third cup.
00:28:13I'll lose my virginity someday,
00:28:15and when I do, I don't want to come off ignorant.
00:28:18I want to know what's going on every second.
00:28:28Don't you kids know that coffee will stunt your grow?
00:28:31Can your husband have sex?
00:28:33Why, Maury Pierce, I should wash your mouth out with soap.
00:28:37I didn't say a dirty word.
00:28:39You did so.
00:28:40Sex is a dirty word?
00:28:42We don't talk about that word in mixed-gender company.
00:28:49I'll be outside.
00:28:51I'll be outside.
00:29:00While Maury was getting the lowdown from Dot,
00:29:03I turned to my dream girl.
00:29:05I had so many questions.
00:29:07I needed someone I could talk to,
00:29:09someone who would be willing to explore the secrets of love.
00:29:13I needed a professional.
00:29:17My mom won't be home for another 20 minutes.
00:29:20Will she call me again?
00:29:22I don't know.
00:29:23That'll be, what, five times since school let out this afternoon?
00:29:27Sam, it's not romantic to keep score.
00:29:41So what'd she say?
00:29:43She said sex is a wonderful and special experience
00:29:46but can only be done right when two people are in love.
00:29:49Grown-ups are so full of bull.
00:30:10Hey, Laura, put it in the corner pocket.
00:30:13Geronimo!
00:30:15Whoo!
00:30:16Yippee!
00:30:17She did it!
00:30:18That means I get to go again, right?
00:30:20Daddy wants to run for governor or something.
00:30:24He thinks having an illegitimate grandson underfoot
00:30:27would cause embarrassment.
00:30:31That's why Sam and I have been banished to the hinterlands.
00:30:35I was given a choice between Sam goes or we both go.
00:30:41We got politicians in my family, too.
00:30:45They're worse than cow dogs.
00:31:00This doesn't mean that we're going steady.
00:31:04Yeah.
00:31:05I mean, we're not even dating.
00:31:14Come on.
00:31:29PHONE RINGS
00:31:45Hello?
00:31:47Idle hands are the devil's playground.
00:31:49Grandpa?
00:31:50Excellent. Now hand the phone to your mother.
00:32:00Lydia?
00:32:04Jeez, Lydia.
00:32:15Grandpa, Lydia isn't here right now.
00:32:17Well, where is she?
00:32:19She went for a job interview at the Mormon church.
00:32:21A secretary or something.
00:32:23Your mother will never work a day in her life.
00:32:26Lydia's turned over a new leaf.
00:32:28She must be with fresh air or something.
00:32:30She's changed. She's responsible now.
00:32:32I control the cash flow.
00:32:34I respect that, sir.
00:32:36Tell her she dumps the Indian or faces the wrath of Almighty God.
00:32:40That would be you.
00:32:44DOOR OPENS
00:33:14MUSIC PLAYS
00:33:38DOOR KNOCKS
00:33:40DOOR KNOCKS
00:33:42DOOR OPENS
00:33:43Hi, Sam.
00:33:45Your mom and Ada are drunk, so I rented a hotel room in Du Bois
00:33:48after the bars closed last night.
00:33:50They're having a party.
00:33:52My cousin Dolores is there.
00:33:54Dolores' husband told her mom in hopes of getting Dolores dragged out.
00:33:57But it didn't work.
00:34:01Well, I'm making coffee. You want some?
00:34:05I want to explain the rules before we do this.
00:34:08Do what?
00:34:10Make sex. Why else would I be here?
00:34:13We're going to perform sex now?
00:34:15After coffee.
00:34:26It's time you and I find out what the big deal is with this sex thing.
00:34:30Do you think Lydia might come home today?
00:34:32Doubtful. You think you can get a stiffy?
00:34:35I don't know. They sort of come and go on their own.
00:34:38I haven't learned how to control them yet.
00:34:40Maybe it'll happen naturally.
00:34:42I heard something about putting it in the girl's mouth.
00:34:46I'm not doing anything that might make me throw up.
00:34:53We're both virgins.
00:34:55I never said I was a virgin.
00:34:59We're both virgins.
00:35:01But someday we're going to find ourselves doing it for real.
00:35:04So today's sex isn't real?
00:35:06We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill.
00:35:09This is practice.
00:35:11So will we still be virgins afterward?
00:35:15That's part of what we're going to learn.
00:35:17Where the line between virginity and non-virginity is.
00:35:20Here's rule number one. You better not squirt.
00:35:23And no kissing.
00:35:25Kissing is mushy emotional stuff.
00:35:27We can't do this if you're going to get mushy.
00:35:30I promise. No mush.
00:35:35I wish we didn't have to be naked.
00:35:38That's a big part of doing it, I'm sure.
00:35:45Go on.
00:35:47You first.
00:35:49Geez, Louise.
00:35:51Your turn.
00:35:53Well, this is as far as I've dreamed.
00:35:55I'm ready to quit.
00:35:57Sam.
00:36:05I thought you'd be bigger.
00:36:08Well, it swells up when it gets stiff.
00:36:12Because it's leg.
00:36:14I don't think it's fair to compare people to horses.
00:36:24This doesn't look possible.
00:36:28Horses do it with the stallion standing up behind the mare.
00:36:32Forget horses, okay?
00:36:34You got a better idea?
00:36:38Maybe if I stand on a chair.
00:36:41Well, my books don't say anything about the girl standing on chairs.
00:36:45Books skip this part and go right on to how wonderful it was.
00:36:51Well, maybe if we kiss.
00:36:53I told you. No kissing.
00:36:55Maybe if you touch it with your hand.
00:36:58Okay, but don't look.
00:37:14This is nowhere near a third of a cup.
00:37:17Did we lose our virginities yet?
00:37:20I sure as hell didn't.
00:37:23It's on the count.
00:37:25What the hell was that?
00:37:27Crap it all, anyway.
00:37:29Sam, meet my cousin Dolores.
00:37:31Hi.
00:37:32Howdy.
00:37:34Maury, I won't tell Laura Bell that I saw you here
00:37:37if you don't tell her that you saw me.
00:37:41What's in the bottle?
00:37:43Terpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:45Terpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:47Terpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:49Terpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:51Terpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:53It's really good for when you want to stop drinking.
00:37:59Your turn.
00:38:01Hi, Mom.
00:38:03Hi, Lydia.
00:38:05This is my friend Maury from school.
00:38:07Oh, welcome wagon.
00:38:10My mom made me come.
00:38:12She thinks she's Betty Crocker.
00:38:14Now, never be embarrassed by your mother.
00:38:17Sam's embarrassed of me, and look how he turned out.
00:38:19Praise horse.
00:38:21Swear to God you do not buy codeine, cop sir.
00:38:23You rent it.
00:38:25What have you kids been up to all morning?
00:38:28Gin rummy.
00:38:30I owe Maury $3.50.
00:38:32No, we weren't.
00:38:34We were trying to have sex, only we couldn't do it.
00:38:38Why are you trying to have sex?
00:38:41I want to know what it feels like before I hit puberty
00:38:43and have to do it for real.
00:38:45And I figured Sam would be more popular
00:38:47if he knew how to please girls.
00:38:49He hasn't been all that popular so far.
00:38:51What's the matter, honey?
00:38:53You having problems keeping away Nia?
00:38:55It stood up, but we couldn't figure out
00:38:57where he should go in from.
00:38:59And then he squirted.
00:39:01Your turn.
00:39:05You and your mama have little chats like this.
00:39:08My mother thinks I'm sweet 14 and never been kissed.
00:39:11I knew where to go in, I think, but it wouldn't go.
00:39:15I must be too big.
00:39:18Nobody's too big.
00:39:21Are you good and excited?
00:39:23Excited?
00:39:25Yeah.
00:39:27Excited is when you're...
00:39:29Wet.
00:39:31Nice and wet.
00:39:33Down there?
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:37Should I have used water?
00:39:39Water don't quite cut it.
00:39:42Hmm.
00:39:44Foreplay is the only proper way
00:39:46a gentleman excites a lady.
00:39:48What's foreplay?
00:39:50You know, it's when a man squeezes your boobs
00:39:52and then whispers real dirty in your ear.
00:39:54Dolores!
00:39:56Lydia.
00:39:58I wish my mother would take the time
00:40:00to talk to me about those things.
00:40:02All right.
00:40:04If you kids are gonna do this,
00:40:06you might as well do it right.
00:40:08Oh, no.
00:40:14Now...
00:40:16Maura looks something like that, right?
00:40:19My eyes were closed.
00:40:22What you wanna do is you wanna go in down here.
00:40:25And, uh, one of you's gonna have to grab it
00:40:28and angle it right,
00:40:30because it'll just take years before it slides in on its own.
00:40:33A few years.
00:40:35Now, two things.
00:40:38You two go ahead and play your little boy-girl games,
00:40:41but the first sign of a period in Maura,
00:40:43and the game stops.
00:40:45What's a period?
00:40:48Number two.
00:40:50It's a matter of form.
00:40:52You don't talk like this in front of adults.
00:40:55At your age, sex is something you...
00:40:57you run around and hide.
00:40:59Why?
00:41:01Well, society would fall apart
00:41:03if people were honest about screwing.
00:41:07Sam, let's go to your room and read comic books.
00:41:12Yeah, yeah, comic books sound fun.
00:41:19Oh, I did a bad thing.
00:41:22No.
00:41:27Ten-letter word for lampoon.
00:41:29Uh, satirize.
00:41:33It's too short.
00:41:38Will you explain to me about women?
00:41:40Women are right and men are wrong,
00:41:42and that's all you need to know.
00:41:44I mean about liking.
00:41:46Now that Maura and I have done it,
00:41:48will she like me?
00:41:50Maura always has a warm spot in her heart
00:41:52whenever she thinks about you.
00:41:54But she says we're just friends.
00:41:56Well, you're lucky.
00:41:58That way you can have the fun of love without the heartbreak.
00:42:01But what if I like her and get my heart broke anyway?
00:42:04Then you're a sucker.
00:42:06Here's the deal, Sam.
00:42:08If you sleep with a girl and afterwards she likes you as a friend,
00:42:11then she's always gonna like you as a friend,
00:42:13and she's never gonna like you as a lover.
00:42:15And there ain't nothing in this hell-bitch world you can do about it.
00:42:25Are you afraid to admit that the other night meant something?
00:42:28What happened between us is just what I like most,
00:42:30sex without consequences.
00:42:32Hey, Mom, I'm home.
00:42:34If I'm stupid, I go to jail.
00:42:36If you're stupid, you get shipped off
00:42:38to live with the commoners for a few months.
00:42:40The worst thing that could possibly happen to you
00:42:43is you might lose your trust fund.
00:42:45Well, I'm not about to spend the rest of my life
00:42:47waiting for free cheese at the county extension office.
00:43:00Got rid of another one.
00:43:04Why don't you just go screw your little girlfriend and leave me alone?
00:43:16We're going on a double date to the Saturday matinee.
00:43:19Are you and me in another couple?
00:43:21No, me and Dothan and you and Chuck at Mars.
00:43:25But Dothan's our mortal enemy.
00:43:27He's your mortal enemy. He's my boyfriend.
00:43:30But Dothan cheered when John Kennedy died.
00:43:33He said...
00:43:35He didn't crap his jerk racist dad's fuse of...
00:43:38He didn't know any better.
00:43:40Well, he rubbed our faces in the dirt.
00:43:42And he apologized.
00:43:44Well, not to me.
00:43:46Dothan was jealous when he saw us sitting together.
00:43:49He's liked me since the fifth grade.
00:43:51Well, do you like him?
00:43:53That's not the point.
00:43:54Dothan has a learner's permit in the car.
00:43:56We can double with you and Chuck at.
00:43:58Well, I can't stand Chuck at Mars.
00:44:00Yeah, but she likes you.
00:44:01This is your big chance to get a date.
00:44:06Hurry up, Sam. Mom will be home soon.
00:44:31I'll be late.
00:44:33Come on.
00:44:59Are you gonna kiss me or not?
00:45:03Gosh.
00:45:05I didn't know when I moved here if I'd fit in, but...
00:45:08You kids are really great.
00:45:16Okay. You win.
00:45:32You win.
00:45:53You bit my tongue.
00:45:56Get her, Sam.
00:45:59That was disgusting.
00:46:01It was a kiss.
00:46:03With your wet, gross tongue hanging out?
00:46:07Is that how boys back east kiss?
00:46:09That's how everybody kisses, Charlotte.
00:46:11That's not how the Nazarenes do it.
00:46:15And he said boys would try to get me passionate.
00:46:19So they could make me pregnant and ruin my life
00:46:22and trick me into going to hell.
00:46:25You sound passionate.
00:46:28I wasn't ready that time.
00:46:31Let's try again.
00:47:01You're home, Sam.
00:47:05Do you want to come in? Lydia got some new records.
00:47:08No, thanks. I'll just have Dothan take me on home.
00:47:12Are you sure?
00:47:15Get out of the car, Sam.
00:47:18I'll be fine.
00:47:23You'll be okay?
00:47:25What do you think I'm gonna do to her, for Christ's sakes?
00:47:28Go on, Sam.
00:47:32I'm better by him.
00:47:34Bad things about men.
00:47:36I'm better by him.
00:47:38Bad things about me.
00:47:46Another boy, Sam.
00:47:52I see Don Juan has decided to grace us with his presence.
00:47:56Here comes the bride
00:47:58All dressed in white
00:48:00Da-da-da-da-da
00:48:02Da-da-da-da-da
00:48:12Hey, what's with the Don Juan crank?
00:48:15So you slipped the tongue to truckette?
00:48:18She said kiss me and I kissed her.
00:48:20She claims you were smack-dab passionate.
00:48:23Where'd you learn to kiss, anyway?
00:48:25Just watching Lydia and her boyfriends.
00:48:27If Mom lets me out, I'll be over after Dick Van Dyke.
00:48:31Maybe we could try kissing this time.
00:48:36Do you practice sex with Dothan?
00:48:40Of course not, silly.
00:48:42He's my boyfriend.
00:48:47Morning, darling.
00:48:49Morning.
00:48:51I like a boy who goes through the line with me and carries my tray.
00:48:55It's all right this time,
00:48:57but your manners will have to improve since we're going steady.
00:49:01Who said we're going steady?
00:49:03Everyone.
00:49:05You know what you did to me at the picture show.
00:49:08There's more to a commitment than biting someone's tongue.
00:49:11That behavior may pass back east,
00:49:13but here in Wyoming, we're moral.
00:49:15That reminds me, you have to give me your jacket.
00:49:19What?
00:49:21It'll be a leather jacket next year.
00:49:23We'll make do for now.
00:49:25Charlotte, it's freezing outside.
00:49:27What better way to prove your love for me
00:49:30than to sacrifice your jacket for my own comfort?
00:49:34I don't want to prove my love.
00:49:39They'll think you took advantage of me.
00:49:42They'll say I'm cheap.
00:49:46They'll say I'm cheap.
00:49:50Come on, darling, let's go.
00:49:57Jesus.
00:50:05Hank's truck out front was a good sign.
00:50:08The pipes had been frozen when I left her school,
00:50:11which put Lydia in an even nastier mood
00:50:14than she had been in since their fight.
00:50:16I figured they were upstairs having a makeup orgy.
00:50:19I was glad for them.
00:50:21They really seemed to like each other.
00:50:23But after all, your mom is your mom,
00:50:25and I'd hoped they'd hear me and stop.
00:50:27I wasn't in the mood to hear moans and groans from my own mother.
00:50:34Mom?
00:50:41Mom?
00:50:53I didn't have time to wrap it.
00:50:55What else were you doing?
00:50:57Now you can listen to your stupid baseball games online.
00:51:00Thanks, Mom.
00:51:02I mean, thanks, Lydia.
00:51:05Yuck.
00:51:07Yuck.
00:51:11My present's out in the back.
00:51:20So, are we gonna keep him?
00:51:22Don't be ridiculous. He's not a sweater.
00:51:25I never said he was.
00:51:27Besides, we won't be here that long.
00:51:31Happy Christmas.
00:51:33What's that?
00:51:35By tradition, it ought to be a horse,
00:51:38but I wasn't sure you wanted one.
00:51:40Sam helped me choose it.
00:51:42Hey, I told him you'd never get on it, not in a million years.
00:51:46You got that right.
00:51:48Yep, I said Casper won't let you ride a bike.
00:52:01Whoo!
00:52:05Come on, Sam.
00:52:07All right.
00:52:11Get him!
00:52:13If I give you five bucks, you can knock my cowboy hat off.
00:52:15Come on, catch up.
00:52:17Yeah.
00:52:19See, I can ride. No hands.
00:52:21Yeah, one hand.
00:52:23Don't run, Leo.
00:52:25Whoa!
00:52:27Hi, babe.
00:52:29You should have got her that damn horse.
00:52:34Catch her.
00:52:36It ain't so hard.
00:52:38Come on, hurry up.
00:52:40Get back here, Lydia.
00:52:43Come on.
00:52:57Time out.
00:53:05Maury doesn't love me, Sam.
00:53:07She loves you.
00:53:09You can have her.
00:53:11Is she sporting of you?
00:53:13No sweat.
00:53:15I'm in love with another.
00:53:17♪ When he walked me home and he held my hand ♪
00:53:21♪ Knew it wouldn't be just a one-night stand ♪
00:53:25♪ Because he asked to see me next week and I told him he could ♪
00:53:29♪ He asked to see me and I told him he could ♪
00:53:32♪ Well, something tells me I'm into something good ♪
00:53:37♪ Something tells me I'm into something good, oh yeah ♪
00:53:43♪ Something tells me I'm into something good ♪
00:54:01Is Lydia here?
00:54:03Yeah, we're going on a picnic. Do you want to come?
00:54:06Is Lydia coming?
00:54:08Well, yeah.
00:54:12Hank promised we'd see Magnificent View, the lake.
00:54:15He better not be lying.
00:54:18Hey, look.
00:54:37In nature, a person can be idealistic.
00:54:43Can believe in things.
00:54:46Like what?
00:54:49Like beauty.
00:54:51And the nobility of humans.
00:54:54People in the cities cannot believe in nobility
00:54:57because they see no sign of it.
00:55:00I'll just love it when he talks like Chief.
00:55:04I'll just love it when he talks like Chief Joseph.
00:55:11How can you tell if you're pregnant?
00:55:17The game was supposed to end when you got your first period.
00:55:21I haven't had a period yet.
00:55:23What's a period?
00:55:27Well, I hardly know what being pregnant feels like myself.
00:55:32I was only a child once, and I wasn't much older than you.
00:55:36I'm just a kid. I can't have a baby.
00:55:39See, that's what I thought.
00:55:49You didn't call me this weekend.
00:55:52Don't know why I go steady with you.
00:55:54You're supposed to call me at least once a day.
00:55:56Sharon's boyfriend calls her house a dozen times a day
00:55:59and then lets the phone ring once and then hangs up
00:56:01just to let her know he still loves her.
00:56:03And this morning, you didn't even notice my new skirt.
00:56:06I was so appalled. I mean, even Rodney made a compliment.
00:56:10And did I get anything from you? No.
00:56:13It hurts. I'm trying to look nice for you.
00:56:16I mean, you are my boyfriend.
00:56:18If this relationship doesn't start to come to my end of it,
00:56:21then I'm afraid this will not work out.
00:56:30Oh, my God.
00:56:45Are you okay?
00:56:49What do you think?
00:56:52Well, if you're pregnant, I'll marry you.
00:56:55Sam, I can't marry you.
00:57:00Why not?
00:57:04I'm 14 years old.
00:57:16It's not gonna be that bad, honey.
00:57:19Oh, wait, shh.
00:57:21Shh, one second.
00:57:30Oh, no.
00:57:38Whoa.
00:57:40We can rent an apartment. I'll get a job.
00:57:43Oh, Sam, don't be a squirrel.
00:57:45Are you coming or not?
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51Good, you navigate.
00:57:53You know, nobody asked me what I wanted to do about the baby.
00:57:57No, no one's going to either.
00:58:12Dolores says this is a nasty town.
00:58:15She doesn't mean nasty in a nice way.
00:58:27I've got to be home before Mom gets back from Idaho Falls.
00:58:31Well, let's do it then.
00:58:41Are you all right?
00:58:50They're ready for you.
00:58:54This is their shit.
00:58:57You're gonna be okay.
00:59:01I know.
00:59:06Right this way, sweetheart.
00:59:08Come on.
00:59:30They all know why we're here.
00:59:33Sam, stop fidgeting.
00:59:38I'm gonna go eat in the waiting room.
00:59:52Sam?
00:59:57Molly?
00:59:59Molly?
01:00:01Let's go.
01:00:03Molly.
01:00:05Molly.
01:00:13Laura Bell Pierce and Coach Stebbins.
01:00:16Puts a new meaning into welcome wagon.
01:00:19Daddy.
01:00:23Daddy.
01:00:30How could Molly and her mom have an abortion at the same time?
01:00:34Found the wrong clinic, doing them for hundreds of miles,
01:00:37and then only on Saturdays.
01:00:40I bet there never was a bridge club in Idaho Falls.
01:00:45Well, Daddy's up at the ranch taking care of the horses.
01:00:48Mom's naked with Aaron Stebbins,
01:00:50digging his greasy thing in her.
01:00:54I hate mothers.
01:01:17You sure you don't want to go home?
01:01:19No.
01:01:22You sure you don't want to come home with us?
01:01:24I have to fix Peter's supper.
01:01:26Mom might not make it home till late.
01:01:34Sam.
01:01:36She's barefoot.
01:01:38Oh.
01:01:52I'll see you tomorrow.
01:01:55So are we going to keep the baby?
01:01:57I can't think about that now, Sam.
01:01:59Okay.
01:02:04♪ These foolish tears are crying over you
01:02:11♪ These foolish tears are crying over you
01:02:18♪ This foolish heart
01:02:21What's the matter with you?
01:02:25I deserve some fun tonight.
01:02:29Raising kids is my responsibility.
01:02:33How would you know?
01:02:37Well, what does that imply?
01:02:41I didn't know she would get pregnant.
01:02:46You know, I've just about had it with your judgmental attitude.
01:02:52Those kids were 14.
01:02:54You taught them sex games.
01:02:58Your father is right.
01:03:00Sam couldn't be worse off in a military school.
01:03:11You finished with that?
01:03:18Come on, Daddy, dance with me.
01:03:20Hey.
01:03:41Come on, doggie.
01:03:51Who do you have to fuck in this joint to get a cup of coffee?
01:03:56I heard Hank's truck last night.
01:03:59He knows what you're doing.
01:04:01Some sheep might.
01:04:05Come on in.
01:04:08Come on in.
01:04:14Well?
01:04:16You gonna have the baby?
01:04:20I guess so.
01:04:22Really?
01:04:24Why are you so happy?
01:04:26I don't know. I guess I'm just ready to be a father.
01:04:29Morning, ladies.
01:04:34What's Hank doing?
01:04:38What's that he's got?
01:04:40That's our moose.
01:04:45He's drunker than a skunk.
01:04:47Hank doesn't drink. Maybe he's sick.
01:04:52Oh, shit.
01:04:54Oh, shit!
01:04:58What was that about?
01:05:00Lost your mind?
01:05:02You all right?
01:05:04You all right?
01:05:15Hey, butt-face.
01:05:17Don't call me butt-face.
01:05:19Maury's pregnant. You could have hurt her.
01:05:23Your mother's a whore.
01:05:26Yeah, well, that still doesn't give you the right to hurt Maury.
01:05:30I'm sorry.
01:05:34But your mother's still a whore.
01:05:58You okay?
01:06:01Another pitiful man put his hopes on you.
01:06:04And you took them down.
01:06:06Fuck you, Sam.
01:06:08Fuck you, too, Mom.
01:06:20Your parents have a really nice ranch.
01:06:22Thanks.
01:06:31Are you sure you should be doing that?
01:06:33Dad says I was born on a horse.
01:06:36Come on.
01:06:39You mean you want me to get up there?
01:06:41Why not, silly?
01:06:56Is your dad suspicious yet?
01:06:59If we were older, he'd be watching you like a coyote.
01:07:02Right now, his worst fear is Lydia might give me a cigarette.
01:07:06What about your mom? Does she know you're still pregnant?
01:07:09Mom won't say a word, but I can tell she's going nuts to find out.
01:07:13She sneaks in my room when she thinks I'm asleep
01:07:16and stares at me for hours.
01:07:19It's spooky.
01:07:22Isn't being friends much better than being girlfriend and boyfriend?
01:07:26If you were my boyfriend, I'd never show you this spot.
01:07:29Because we might break up, and then where would I be?
01:07:32Well, where would you be?
01:07:34Someone I don't like would know my secret.
01:07:38But I still want to have sex with you.
01:07:42We can't have sex now.
01:07:44You're my friend.
01:07:46I can't risk it.
01:07:48You're my friend.
01:07:50I can't risk losing you for something as silly as sex.
01:07:54I'm confused.
01:08:01You bike back into town without me.
01:08:06I think I'll talk to Dad.
01:08:08Are you sure?
01:08:12It's time.
01:08:15Is there any chance you might skip the part about who the father is?
01:08:20I'll try, but you and Lydia better lock your doors tonight.
01:08:30Hi.
01:08:33Thanks, sugar.
01:08:37Maura told her dad about the baby this afternoon.
01:08:40What do you think he'll do?
01:08:42Buddy Pierce will brand your butt.
01:08:45Are you speaking literally or metaphorically?
01:08:53I don't know.
01:08:55I don't know.
01:08:57I don't know.
01:09:00I don't know.
01:09:11Well, I'm God's gift to horses.
01:09:13Well, yes, sir.
01:09:15But I accidentally squirted into your daughter.
01:09:18And will now shoot a child.
01:09:21No!
01:09:29No!
01:09:54Can I live here till the baby comes?
01:09:56Of course.
01:09:59I'm your dad.
01:10:01You said I'm a slut, and he's ashamed to have me as a daughter.
01:10:05Well, you probably just surprised him.
01:10:07Just give him a few days. He'll come around.
01:10:09No, he won't.
01:10:11Daddy is morals, and I don't.
01:10:16I'm gonna go sleep on the couch.
01:10:18No.
01:10:20That's too far away.
01:10:22Sleep here on the floor, in case I need you.
01:10:30No.
01:10:43Now your life has tried to set an example of how to deal with public disapproval.
01:10:49It's time to show me what you've learned, honey bunny.
01:11:00Shit.
01:11:25Oh, dear.
01:11:28I feel like Lee Harvey Oswald.
01:11:31It's like we have the ultimate cooties.
01:11:34Yeah, I'll see you at lunch, hair saver boy.
01:11:42That was terrible.
01:11:57I'm sorry I got Mary pregnant while I was going steady with you.
01:12:27I love you.
01:12:49Sam.
01:12:53Did she tell on me?
01:12:55Tell on you?
01:12:56And does her father know about, you know...
01:12:59That you and her mom shared an abortion?
01:13:05No.
01:13:07I think she loves her dad too much to tell him that you screwed her mom.
01:13:11I haven't talked to Laura Bell since the day at the clinic.
01:13:15You can tell Maury that.
01:13:17So you got her an abortion, then dumped her.
01:13:20Well, wasn't that what I was supposed to do?
01:13:27Well, how'd everybody find out?
01:13:30Now that I've told Dad, it doesn't matter who else knows.
01:13:33Well, so who'd you tell?
01:13:35Him.
01:13:39Sammy boy, how's the shakin'?
01:13:43About the same.
01:13:45Good.
01:13:46We still on for Friday night?
01:13:48Town without pity is playing at the movies.
01:13:50Hey, you ought to bring Chuck in.
01:13:52Maybe Saturday night we'll go play at the movies.
01:13:55Or Saturday night we'll go parking.
01:13:58Why don't I have to ask Chuck in?
01:14:00You'll have to ask Chuck in.
01:14:02If this boy gets any funnier, they're gonna put him on TV.
01:14:11Hey, how come Dothan didn't beat me up at lunch today?
01:14:14He's an understanding kind of guy.
01:14:16And I said I'd break up with him if he was mean to you.
01:14:21Spring in Wyoming lasts all of two weeks
01:14:25and is marked by mud and rampant pregnancy.
01:14:29With all of nature knocked up,
01:14:31Mari and I felt right at home.
01:14:34We discovered the best thing about being ostracized by an entire town
01:14:38is that people leave you alone.
01:14:42With Hank gone, Lydia was crankier than usual.
01:14:47And the rising heat didn't help Mari's mood much either.
01:14:54She said being pregnant was wretched.
01:14:57But to tell you the truth, it didn't bother me that much.
01:15:01I'm going for a bike ride. You wanna come?
01:15:04Sure.
01:15:18Do you brush your teeth every day?
01:15:21Yes, Mom.
01:15:23And use a fresh towel after every shower?
01:15:26I will.
01:15:31Bye.
01:15:41I can't believe we have to bring Dothan back.
01:15:44He's my boyfriend, Sam. You better be nice to him.
01:15:51What happened to your arm?
01:15:53My daddy broke it.
01:15:55Why, for God's sakes, would he do that?
01:15:58Because I was mellin' off.
01:16:00So he broke your arm?
01:16:02I deserved it. Can we just drop it?
01:16:06Dropped.
01:16:08Howdy, folks. We're gonna be glad you came out today.
01:16:11We got a real good rodeo fair here in Grove On.
01:16:14Rained a little earlier, the sun's out nice now.
01:16:17Mud and blood is what rodeo's all about.
01:16:20Go, go, go!
01:16:22Go, go, go!
01:16:24Go, go, go!
01:16:26Go, go, go!
01:16:28Go, go, go!
01:16:30Go, go, go!
01:16:32Go, go, go!
01:16:34Go, go, go!
01:16:37Folks must have a big hand for Joe Brannigan.
01:16:40Big hand is all he's gonna win today.
01:16:50The time to mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex.
01:16:54Proof a man can subjugate anything wild and beautiful once he gets it between his legs.
01:16:59What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.
01:17:04Our next contestant in the bulldoggin' competition is Hank Elk Runner, right here in Grove On.
01:17:20That's 5.4 seconds right for Hank Elk Runner, squaring the lead.
01:17:24I fail to see how hurling a dumb animal to the earth makes a man the object of mass approval.
01:17:29Take it kindly, Hank.
01:17:31Looks like you stood the means.
01:17:33Thanks, folks!
01:17:37Spur him up! Spur him up!
01:17:53Ladies and gentlemen, will you just stay calm?
01:17:55Let our cowboys get in there when you have professionals on the scene.
01:17:58Give me some help here.
01:18:00Get somebody in here. He's hurt.
01:18:02I might ought to see about Mom.
01:18:04I'll go with you.
01:18:09Come on. Move it.
01:18:14Watch him. Easy, easy.
01:18:16He'll be back in a bit.
01:18:19Thank you, fellas. He's gonna be fine.
01:18:27Mama, I have to clean the floor before Buddy comes home, because Buddy will be angry.
01:18:32Mom, it's okay. Leave the floor till later.
01:18:34No. I can't leave any tracks in the linoleum.
01:18:43She's nuts. I'd be locked up.
01:18:46This is your fault.
01:18:48No more than you.
01:18:50You! My baby! You killed my baby!
01:18:54What's she talking about?
01:18:56Baby killed my baby!
01:18:58Mom, it's okay.
01:19:00No, no.
01:19:02Mom!
01:19:04Mom, what are you doing?
01:19:06Get this off of me!
01:19:10We need to help her.
01:19:12Get the horses off of her.
01:19:14She's the only one that's hurt out there.
01:19:16Can we get some help in for the lady, please?
01:19:18Ladies and gentlemen, everything will be just fine.
01:19:20Just stay in the stand and let the cowboys take care of her.
01:19:25Thank you, Hank. We appreciate it.
01:19:27Easy, man.
01:19:28No, get away from me. Get away from me.
01:19:31It's all right.
01:19:35Mama?
01:19:39It's gonna be all right.
01:19:43Okay, now we've got to back up the line, ladies and gentlemen.
01:19:48But he'll still be at the hospital.
01:19:51We'll follow you out there in case you need us.
01:19:56Brian needs nothing if he lives a good man.
01:20:00Yeah.
01:20:13Can someone please explain to me
01:20:15what all this pride nonsense is about?
01:20:17Life's too short for me to waste any of it.
01:20:23I'll see you around.
01:20:26Hey, you can't get away from me, you red __.
01:20:30Hey, I'm here.
01:20:32You stay away from me.
01:20:35Please?
01:20:47Siri, it's working.
01:20:49Have you seen my influence?
01:20:51You can't get away from me, you red b****.
01:20:54Hey, I'm talking to you.
01:20:56Hey!
01:20:57You think she'll get him?
01:20:59Hank don't stand a chance.
01:21:01I'm your squad, damn it!
01:21:03Hank, you listen to me!
01:21:05Hank!
01:21:07Come here, baby.
01:21:37Okay!
01:21:39You're on, little baby.
01:22:06Weird.
01:22:29You know why women fake orgasms?
01:22:33I don't give a hoot why women fake orgasms.
01:22:36I'm not comfortable.
01:22:38Women fake orgasms.
01:22:40Listen to the birthday girl!
01:22:42Women fake orgasms because men fake foreplay.
01:22:49You know, sometimes when I have a real orgasm,
01:22:52I tell the man that I faked it, just so he doesn't get cocky.
01:22:55I hate cocky men!
01:22:59My baby's going to be raised on marshmallows.
01:23:01Oh, I raised Sammy on Dr. Peppa.
01:23:03Look how he turned out.
01:23:05I turned out okay.
01:23:06Says so.
01:23:09Ah!
01:23:10Ah!
01:23:11Ah!
01:23:12Ah!
01:23:13Ah!
01:23:14Get him, Hank!
01:23:15Ah!
01:23:17Get him, Hank!
01:23:19Get his feet, Hank!
01:23:20Get his feet!
01:23:21Get his feet!
01:23:22Get his feet!
01:23:23Get the marshmallow out of here.
01:23:26No, no, no, no.
01:23:29Ah!
01:23:31Put the marshmallows in his ear.
01:23:33Say uncle, say uncle.
01:23:35Oh, no.
01:23:36I'm not sober.
01:23:37Why?
01:23:38Morris.
01:23:41Uh-oh.
01:23:42Uh-oh.
01:23:43Uh-oh.
01:23:46Get up, Sam.
01:23:49I said get up on your feet.
01:23:52Samuel, get on your feet.
01:23:57This is your Sunday uniform at the Custer Military Academy.
01:24:02As soon as you clear that mucky gunk out of your ear,
01:24:07you'll go in the house and put it on.
01:24:09Daddy?
01:24:10Be silent, girl.
01:24:11We are going home now.
01:24:13We will play Samuel at Custer,
01:24:15and then you and I will proceed on to Greensboro.
01:24:18Well, wait a second.
01:24:19We can't go home.
01:24:21We're having a baby.
01:24:23Well, I'm sure that little girl has a mother of her own.
01:24:26My mother is in the nuthouse.
01:24:28Be that as it may.
01:24:30You made your bed.
01:24:31Now you must lie in it.
01:24:33I will not stand by and see my grandson sneered by a spider.
01:24:37Maury is not a spider.
01:24:39I told you to be silent.
01:24:41Well, I won't.
01:24:42You just can't come in here and ruin everything.
01:24:43This is our home now.
01:24:44These people are our family.
01:24:46Family?
01:24:48A floozy, a Kiowa, and a very pregnant little girl.
01:24:53Tell me, which member of your new family is going to pay next month's rent?
01:24:58Blackfeet.
01:25:03Just exactly what is that supposed to mean?
01:25:06I'm Blackfeet, not Kiowa.
01:25:10I understand you live in a one-room trailer.
01:25:14You think she's gonna like living there and carrying your papooses?
01:25:18Daddy, you're such an asshole.
01:25:20Oh, that could be.
01:25:22When you get to the point where you can pay your way in life,
01:25:25you can live anywhere you want and in any disgusting manner you want.
01:25:30But as long as I'm paying the bills, you will do as I dictate.
01:25:34Is that understood?
01:25:36Go inside and put your uniform on.
01:25:39Son, you don't have a lot to say about it.
01:25:53I decided life is a jit.
01:25:55Why couldn't people just do what I wanted?
01:26:01Maury wasn't in love with me, but not in the right way.
01:26:05If we were in love like Romeo and Juliet, we could fight Casper.
01:26:10We could flee into the mountains or chain ourselves up to a tree.
01:26:14We could be a couple.
01:26:16We could be a couple.
01:26:18We could be a couple.
01:26:20We could flee into the mountains or chain ourselves to a rock.
01:26:24Romeo and Juliet were 14, and no one treated them like children.
01:26:29But, of course, they died at the end.
01:26:36Hey, how'd you get here from town?
01:26:39Hank brought me.
01:26:41He's at the ranch talking to Dad.
01:26:44Your grandfather isn't happy with you.
01:26:47I'll never put on that uniform, never.
01:26:50Yes, you will.
01:26:52You and Lydia are both hopeless, and we all know it.
01:26:56I won't leave you and the baby.
01:26:59I'll hide in the mountains and live on bushes and frogs if I have to.
01:27:03We made a mistake.
01:27:06This baby's coming whether anybody's ready or not.
01:27:13Don't be sad, Sam.
01:27:16No matter how bad everything is, you and I'll have a baby.
01:27:21You'll be 18 in four years.
01:27:23Then you can come back.
01:27:29Come on.
01:27:31Come on.
01:27:35I'm gonna hit you. You're going in the water.
01:27:40Sam?
01:27:41Are you okay?
01:27:43I just felt the baby.
01:27:47Dr. Jenkins to labor and delivery.
01:27:50Dr. Jenkins to labor and delivery, please.
01:27:57Congratulations, Mr. Pierce.
01:28:00Your grandfather.
01:28:02All right. Well, what about me?
01:28:04Nurse Johnson twins at 202.
01:28:07Nurse Johnson twins at 202.
01:28:10You have a daughter.
01:28:12You have a daughter.
01:28:34Her name is Shannon.
01:28:36That's pretty.
01:28:39Can I touch her?
01:28:42Okay, but be gentle. Babies aren't footballs.
01:28:45Yeah, they don't travel as far when you kick them.
01:28:49That's not funny, Sam.
01:29:04I hope she grows up to have my looks and Dad's brains.
01:29:09What about me?
01:29:11She'll have your heart.
01:29:14It's hard to see how a goo on a sock can lead to this.
01:29:18Pretty cool, huh?
01:29:21Yeah.
01:29:39I want to go home.
01:29:41After we...
01:29:45Whoa, I can't go in there.
01:29:47My grandfather will kidnap me.
01:29:49Your grandfather will not kidnap you.
01:29:52Yeah, he'll take me straight to Custer Military Academy.
01:29:56I won't let him.
01:29:59Come on.
01:30:04Hi, Sam.
01:30:09So, what'd she name the baby?
01:30:11Shannon.
01:30:13Oh, my God, that'll never do.
01:30:16My baby's name is Shannon.
01:30:18Who do I have to fuck in this joint to get a...
01:30:21Keep your pants zipped, Jack.
01:30:24Mom?
01:30:26Mutual trust and respect, Sam.
01:30:28Always remember what our relationship is based on.
01:30:31I'm not going to let you down.
01:30:33I'm not going to let you down.
01:30:35Always remember what our relationship is based on.
01:30:38I may have a granddaughter, but I'm not 30 yet.
01:30:41Well, you can't work here, Lydia.
01:30:43Watch me.
01:30:45She won't last a month.
01:30:47First time she breaks a fingernail, she'll be coming home to Daddy.
01:30:51Fat chance, Daddy.
01:30:54So does this mean I don't have to go to Custer?
01:30:57That's right, as long as we pay our own way.
01:30:59The old goat can't force us anywhere.
01:31:01She'll never make the rent on tips.
01:31:04She sure does.
01:31:05And I'm moving in, too.
01:31:07Selling my trailer and coming to town.
01:31:09Maury's family will help pay on rent.
01:31:11Maury's moving in?
01:31:13Well, part-time while Buddy's up at the ranch.
01:31:16Now, what can I get you, fellas?
01:31:18I don't have all day to chit-chat with a rabble.
01:31:22Yep.
01:31:44Sam Callahan, I want to have your baby.
01:31:48We all want to have your baby.
01:31:51We want you to be the dad of a new generation.
01:31:55I'm sorry.
01:31:57I would love to father your child,
01:31:59but my heart belongs to my true love.
01:32:02It's just not proper to have babies by more than one girl at a time.
01:32:07You've broken my heart.
01:32:09Be strong.
01:32:11Someday you will understand the theory of one man, one baby.
01:32:19Ma!
01:32:25I'm going into Green River after cheerleading practice,
01:32:28so you'll have to handle the 6 o'clock feeding.
01:32:31Well, I'm the father, not the babysitter.
01:32:33Same difference.
01:32:36Now be a good baby.
01:32:41Lydia will help you if you need anything.
01:32:44I won't need Lydia.
01:32:48Bye.
01:32:49Bye, Sam.
01:32:55The future lay before Sam like the great American novel,
01:32:59just waiting to be written.
01:33:01Lydia would marry Hank and join the welcome wagon.
01:33:04Mari would grow to love Sam
01:33:06the way mothers are supposed to love fathers.
01:33:09Shannon would grow up to be beautiful, talented, and virginal.
01:33:14Sam knew the trail ahead would be long, steep,
01:33:17and littered with horse manure.
01:33:19But he was ready now,
01:33:21because somehow, someway,
01:33:23the waitress, the Indian, the cheerleader,
01:33:26and the 15-year-old father would survive.
01:33:30They were the modern American family.
01:33:45To the memory, to the spirit
01:33:50Ooh, yeah, baby, like I knew you did
01:33:53To the love, so baby, to you and him
01:33:56Ooh, oh, baby, I, I got that feeling
01:33:59Say ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:02Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:05Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:08Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:11Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:14Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:17Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:20Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:23Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:26Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:29Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:32Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:35Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:34:38Swimmin' out, let it roll
01:34:41Take my breath out, let it roll
01:34:44Get on the mark, let it roll
01:34:47Let's do the show
01:34:58Let it roll
01:35:01Let it roll
01:35:04Let it roll
01:35:07Let it roll
01:35:16To the metal man, to the pipe
01:35:19Now that's what it should feel like
01:35:22Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:25Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:28Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:31Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:34Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:44To the swordfish, my heart don't miss
01:35:47Swimmin' in the sea, just you and me
01:35:50Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:53Yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:56Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:35:59Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
01:36:02Guitar solo
01:36:32Guitar solo
01:37:02Guitar solo