In 1963, liberal-minded and reckless Lydia Callahan is raising her 14-year-old son, Sam. Lydia's father Caspar, a prominent local businessman, is running for governor of North Carolina, and does not want Lydia and Sam in his way, so the two are banished from North Carolina. They travel across the country and settle in Wyoming, where Lydia only wants to have a good time and refuses to allow Sam to call her "mom."
Sam soon finds out that he is one of only two students in Gro Vont High School who read. The other one is Maurey, a girl the same age as Sam who wants to learn about zex Consequent to their mutual discoveries, Maurey becomes pregnant. She decides to have an abortion in a distant hospital and, by accident, runs into her mother and the baseball coach who are also there for the same reason.
Sam soon finds out that he is one of only two students in Gro Vont High School who read. The other one is Maurey, a girl the same age as Sam who wants to learn about zex Consequent to their mutual discoveries, Maurey becomes pregnant. She decides to have an abortion in a distant hospital and, by accident, runs into her mother and the baseball coach who are also there for the same reason.
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Short filmTranscript
00:01:00Oh, these chains of love got a hold on me, yeah.
00:01:11Chains, well, I can't break away from these chains.
00:01:18I can't run around, cause I'm not free.
00:01:26Oh, these chains of love won't let me be, yeah.
00:01:36Now believe me when I tell you, I think you're fine.
00:01:44I'd like to love you, but darling, I'm imprisoned by these chains.
00:01:53My baby's got me locked up in chains.
00:01:58And there ain't a time that you can't see.
00:02:06Oh, these chains of love got a hold on me, yeah.
00:02:15Chains.
00:02:23Call me Sam.
00:02:30I am a writer of literature.
00:02:33I started writing the day my grandfather sent my mom and me into exile,
00:02:37a day when most human beings would wallow in self-pity.
00:02:41I chose this moment to honor my calling.
00:02:44So this is my story.
00:02:46And unlike other writers of literature, I won't skip the good parts.
00:02:49Good bites.
00:02:53Samuel.
00:02:56Daddy, don't pull the plantation master act with Sam.
00:03:00He's innocent.
00:03:01Nothing you touch is innocent.
00:03:04One more mistake,
00:03:06and the boy goes to the Custer Military Academy.
00:03:10Are those implications clear?
00:03:12Oh, yes, your daddyship.
00:03:15Sam, come, break the cards.
00:03:25Casper claimed we were being exiled for our own good.
00:03:28What a load of crap.
00:03:30The truth is, he was planning to run for governor,
00:03:32and the thought of Lydia on the loose
00:03:34scared the wadding out of him.
00:03:37You know why I'm sending you and your mom to Wyoming?
00:03:42Because Lydia messed up again?
00:03:46You know, there comes a time
00:03:47when you have to set aside old, childish things.
00:03:53But...
00:03:54Don't but, Grandpa.
00:03:57Go ahead, throw me in.
00:04:01I had a good mind to go to Wyoming and croak.
00:04:04Then he'd really be sorry.
00:04:07Good boy, good boy.
00:04:10Sam Callaghan lay close to death.
00:04:13In a cruel twist of fate,
00:04:14giving him comfort was the most beautiful nurse
00:04:17he had ever seen.
00:04:28I'm sorry.
00:04:30He's not going to make it.
00:04:34Sam, I'm sorry that I shipped you and your mom to Wyoming.
00:04:38I'm sorry that I shipped you and your mom out
00:04:40into the wilderness when you needed to be home most of all.
00:04:45Could you forgive me before you die, Sam?
00:04:49Hold on, sugar boy.
00:04:50Okay.
00:05:05So what'd you do to hack Casper off so much?
00:05:08Not a thing.
00:05:09Not one eye out of, Miss Condell.
00:05:14You told me about the Cuban
00:05:16and the strip show on the sailboat.
00:05:18Now, if this went so bad, you can't tell me about it?
00:05:20Just think what I'm liable to imagine.
00:05:22I'm as innocent as snow.
00:05:50When Horace Greeley said,
00:05:52go west, young man,
00:05:54I don't think this is what he had in mind.
00:05:57Lydia drove 2,000 miles with the top down.
00:06:00She had no concept of altitude or temperature
00:06:03and couldn't read a map, so I navigated.
00:06:05We'd made an oath that grandpa would never separate us.
00:06:09So as we drove further and further from home,
00:06:12it felt like we were orphans together
00:06:14and the first Southerners ever lost in Wyoming.
00:06:16Come on, Jimmy.
00:06:18Hey, sissy boy, this one's for you, honey.
00:06:21Get it on, Joseph.
00:06:23Get ready for this one.
00:06:27Whoa!
00:06:28What?
00:06:31He's not gonna get it.
00:06:32Go get it!
00:06:33Come on!
00:06:34Come on!
00:06:37Look out!
00:06:38Watch it!
00:06:39Whoa!
00:06:40Whoa!
00:06:41Whoa!
00:06:42Whoa!
00:06:43Whoa!
00:06:44Whoa!
00:06:45Whoa!
00:06:46Whoa!
00:06:50Sharp move.
00:06:55this is students and faculty.
00:06:58The pep rally for Friday's football game
00:07:00will be after 2nd period.
00:07:02At 2 p.m. today,
00:07:04we will conduct our at-bomb drills.
00:07:06Remember, students, stuck in cover.
00:07:11Hi.
00:07:12I'm Howard Stephens.
00:07:14Sam Callahan.
00:07:19Okay gang, open Huckleberry Finn to page 47
00:07:24and go on to Twain's brilliant
00:07:26but not so brilliant dialect.
00:07:28Brilliant my eye, no one talks like that.
00:07:32Well, why do you suppose Twain wrote in dialect
00:07:35if no one talks like that?
00:07:36He wanted Huck to seem stupid, and Jim even stupider.
00:07:40I've heard Southern accents on TV
00:07:42and no one talks like that.
00:07:44Well, um, Huck is from Missouri, which isn't the South.
00:07:49Oh, whoop-dee-doo.
00:07:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:07:57We know that Mark Twain was one of the great proponents
00:08:00of equal rights for all.
00:08:03Now, we appreciate that here in the Equality State.
00:08:07Well, yeah, but Twain hated Jews.
00:08:10Are you Jewish?
00:08:14No.
00:08:16Well, how do you know he hated Jews?
00:08:18Well, I can read.
00:08:21How can you say that when you're from the South?
00:08:24I don't know.
00:08:26But you're from the South.
00:08:28Everyone in the South hates.
00:08:30Can't deny it.
00:08:37We can't stay here, Mom.
00:08:40Our relationship is based on mutual respect, Sam.
00:08:43You must never fling in my face the fact that I'm a mother.
00:08:46These kids are Nazis, Lydia.
00:08:50It's like the entire school was spawned
00:08:52by the mating of first cousins.
00:08:55Well, I bet that's why none of the men here have chins.
00:08:58Even the teacher's a first degree ignoramus.
00:09:02That goes.
00:09:04I will not have the dead passing for art.
00:09:06Only Casper would pick a house that has that.
00:09:14I've made a decision about this banishment deal.
00:09:21Should I be told?
00:09:23The way I conducted our life back in Carolina didn't work.
00:09:28I'll say.
00:09:29So I'm calling a time out.
00:09:34No more connections for a while.
00:09:38As of this moment, I'm declaring
00:09:41myself an emotional catatonic.
00:09:47Well, how's a catatonic supposed to raise a kid?
00:09:50I won't negotiate an arrangement.
00:09:55Now stand up straight.
00:09:56A gal is judged by her posture.
00:09:59Why do I have to go?
00:10:01Because our new neighbors are Southern,
00:10:02and what would they think if we didn't go out of our way
00:10:05to make them feel at home?
00:10:06But the kid's a squirrel.
00:10:09Gentlewomen do not compare people to animals, dear.
00:10:23What?
00:10:24Welcome wagon.
00:10:26Hi, I'm Laura Bell Pierce, and this is my daughter, Maury.
00:10:30And we'd like to welcome you to Gros Ventre, the friendliest
00:10:33little town in Wyoming.
00:10:35How quaint.
00:10:36Look, Sammy, it's the welcome wagon.
00:10:40Hi.
00:10:41Now what have we here?
00:10:43Oh, this is a survival kit, you know,
00:10:45for moving into the new house.
00:10:46That's for you.
00:10:48Chicken pot pie?
00:10:49Yeah, the good kind, with bottom crust.
00:10:51Maury's dad can't have bought pot pie
00:10:53without good bottom crust.
00:10:57Quick meals for the harried housewife.
00:11:00Yes, and every recipe starts with a can
00:11:03of cream of mushroom soup.
00:11:05Well, fuck me, silly.
00:11:10Do I look like a housewife to you?
00:11:14No.
00:11:15Well, we just wanted you to feel at home in Gros Ventre.
00:11:19Oh, Sam and I won't be here long enough
00:11:21to mingle with the natives.
00:11:33Thank you.
00:11:34Uh, uh.
00:11:35Oh, keep your pants zipped, Jack.
00:11:36I'll be with you when I'm with you.
00:11:46Her name is Dot.
00:11:47Well, she should serve her parents.
00:11:49What kind of woman would name a child Dot?
00:11:55So you're the folks retting Doc Wardle's place.
00:12:02The guys paid me $1 apiece to find out
00:12:04if you're single.
00:12:06Tell the guys I have five husbands,
00:12:10each one rich, mean, and jealous.
00:12:14I'll be rotating them through on a weekly basis.
00:12:18That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
00:12:22Oh, just tell them I own a rifle.
00:12:29So what happened in the seventh grade today?
00:12:34You really want to hear?
00:12:35If I don't want to hear, Casper will send you
00:12:36to the custom military academy.
00:12:39We wouldn't want that, would we?
00:12:42In social studies, Ms. Sheets taught us how to write a check.
00:12:46Well, you've been writing checks since you were six.
00:12:51And I think I'm in love with Marie Pierce.
00:12:55Well, that's nice.
00:12:57How do you know you're in love?
00:12:59Because I can't stand her.
00:13:02Well, that's always a good sign.
00:13:04She eats my guts.
00:13:05Called me pinhead.
00:13:07Sounds like love to me.
00:13:10You got to eat that fast.
00:13:11That gravy's turning to axle grease.
00:13:19You know why I like you more than the other boys?
00:13:22Because you are the only two kids
00:13:23in seventh grade who can read?
00:13:26No, silly.
00:13:27Because you're so handsome.
00:13:32Oh.
00:13:41After you've gone and left me crying.
00:13:47After you've gone, there's no denying you feel blue.
00:13:56You feel sad.
00:14:00You'll miss the sweetest guy you ever had.
00:14:26You're licking the mirror.
00:14:28I'm making contact.
00:14:31With who?
00:14:33Myself.
00:14:35Sam, you ever had a stiffy?
00:14:41Mom.
00:14:42I just realized it's been years since I saw your little weenie.
00:14:50It was so cute when you were a baby.
00:14:55We had this black speckled basin I used to wash you in.
00:15:00And you would always pee straight up.
00:15:04I hate when you talk about cute naked stuff
00:15:06I did when I was little.
00:15:17Mom.
00:15:30I didn't let myself go.
00:15:40You know, when Gulliver traveled to the land of yahoos,
00:15:43he must have come here.
00:15:45I think he just insulted you, Linnell.
00:15:47I don't care.
00:15:50What kind of show off studies on the bus anyways?
00:15:52This isn't a school book.
00:15:53This is literature.
00:15:55Literature, literature.
00:15:59What literature?
00:16:02It's a classic coming of age story
00:16:03portraying one woman's poignant experiences
00:16:06with life, love, and sex.
00:16:09What do you know about sex?
00:16:11Well, after I finish this book, I'll
00:16:12know a lot more than you.
00:16:14I don't know about sex, but I do know a lot about you.
00:16:17I don't know about sex, but I do know a lot about you.
00:16:19After I finish this book, I'll know a lot more than you.
00:16:24Not that knowing more about sex than you do is a challenge.
00:16:47Have you been saved?
00:16:49From what?
00:16:51You'll go to hell unless you finish every bit of that.
00:16:54If a person goes to hell for not finishing a tuna croquette,
00:16:58I think I lost my salvation a long time ago.
00:17:05Come on.
00:17:06Yeah, sure.
00:17:17How's it going, Sam?
00:17:19Couldn't be better, sir.
00:17:20I don't know if you've heard, but we're
00:17:22mighty proud of our football team here at Gros Ventre High.
00:17:25How'd you like to sign up?
00:17:27Well, I'd like to, sir, but my mom needs me at home.
00:17:30She hasn't adjusted to the lack of humidity yet.
00:17:33See, the thing is, it takes 22 players to hold the practice,
00:17:36and I've only got 21, and half of them
00:17:38still suck their mama's tit at night.
00:17:41Well, I no longer nurse, sir.
00:17:44Let me explain to you the difference
00:17:46between an A and an F in English.
00:17:50Me coming out for football?
00:17:52No, that's the old school spirit.
00:17:57Jump to the left, jump to the right.
00:18:00Sit down, stand up, fight, fight, fight.
00:18:03All right, boys, let's have a little game of spirit
00:18:05of the queer with the ball here.
00:18:07Hey, Sammy, would you tell us how your mama's hooters feel?
00:18:12About the same as your sister's.
00:18:14I ain't got a sister, stupid.
00:18:167.43, hut, hut.
00:18:18Ugh!
00:18:19Ugh!
00:18:20Ugh!
00:18:20Yeah!
00:18:21Ugh!
00:18:22Ugh!
00:18:24Dothan sure got him good.
00:18:26You think he's hurt?
00:18:27No.
00:18:29He's just playing possum.
00:18:32Sissy boy, come on, get up.
00:18:36Come on, Sam, get up.
00:18:37Get up.
00:18:46New coverage continues on the assassination
00:18:49of President John F. Kennedy.
00:18:51At 12.35 Central Standard Time, President Kennedy
00:18:55was shot as his motorcade passed through downtown Dallas.
00:18:59Governor Connolly was also shot.
00:19:01Thousands of mourners have gathered
00:19:03at Parkland Memorial Hospital to mourn the passing
00:19:05of our hero.
00:19:16Oh.
00:19:27Ha, ha, ha.
00:19:28Ha, ha, ha.
00:19:29Ha, ha, ha.
00:19:30Ha, ha, ha.
00:19:36Mom.
00:19:38They killed President Kennedy.
00:19:41Are you sure?
00:19:43It's on the news.
00:19:46Who killed him?
00:19:47Texans.
00:19:58Y'all crying over the nigger lover?
00:20:00Shut up, Dothan.
00:20:03Hey, you know what all the kids are
00:20:04getting for Christmas this year?
00:20:07A jack-in-the-box.
00:20:08Ha, ha, ha.
00:20:10Oh!
00:20:10Oh!
00:20:11Oh!
00:20:12Oh!
00:20:13Oh!
00:20:14I never knew you could.
00:20:15Ow.
00:20:16Ha, ha, ha.
00:20:18Oh.
00:20:19What are you doing, boy?
00:20:20Huh?
00:20:21Huh?
00:20:22Trying to take up for your girlfriend, huh?
00:20:26What the hell is your problem, boys?
00:20:27Stop it.
00:20:29Hell, they started it, coach.
00:20:31Lay off.
00:20:32The little bastard's liable to hurt somebody.
00:20:35The president is dead, and he was celebrating.
00:20:37Get out of here.
00:20:46Let's get out of here.
00:20:51Where?
00:20:54We can watch the news at my house.
00:20:58You think they'll miss us?
00:21:00All the rules are off today, Sam.
00:21:03Nothing we do matters.
00:21:08I guess it all depends on your perspective.
00:21:10I mean, I don't know about you, Sam.
00:21:13I guess it all depends on your perspective.
00:21:16As the rest of the country was mourning their great loss,
00:21:19things were actually starting to look up for me.
00:21:23What do you bet Mama heard about the assassination,
00:21:26but it's had no effect on her at all?
00:21:28She'll be baking cookies and waxing the kitchen floor.
00:21:31My mom's never baked a cookie in her life.
00:21:35Come on.
00:21:40Oh, you're home early.
00:21:41They let us out on account of the assassination.
00:21:45Isn't it a shame about Mr. Kennedy?
00:21:49I wonder if they'll let Petey out early, too, this afternoon.
00:21:52Well, I'll just finish these up, and then I'll make us some hot cocoa.
00:21:55This isn't the time for hot cocoa, Mom.
00:21:58It's always the time for cocoa.
00:22:06The whole world's gone straight to hell in a hand basket.
00:22:12I have to come down here because my television is out of order.
00:22:16What about you?
00:22:18I don't have a TV.
00:22:20Well, it's been years since I met anyone who didn't own a television.
00:22:24You must not meet many Indians.
00:22:28You're an Indian.
00:22:31Blackfeet.
00:22:35My daddy can't stand Indians.
00:22:41I wish my dad was here.
00:22:43Where is he?
00:22:44We have a horse ranch 10 miles up in the mountains,
00:22:46and he has to feed every day, so he stays out there most of the winter.
00:22:50What's your dad do?
00:22:52I don't have a father.
00:22:56Did he die?
00:22:58Lydia won't tell me anything about him.
00:23:01When she's drunk, she claims virgin birth, like Mary and Jesus.
00:23:05I'd like to see my mom drunk.
00:23:08It's not that neat.
00:23:11She has these pictures of five guys in old football uniforms in her panty box.
00:23:15Her panty box?
00:23:17I kind of figure one of them might be my dad.
00:23:19What were you doing in your mother's panty box?
00:23:24One of the guys is a Negro.
00:23:26Mom, I'm home.
00:23:33Hey, we're watching that.
00:23:35This stinks.
00:23:37Mom!
00:23:39Maury won't let me watch Rocky.
00:23:42You know he watches Rocky every afternoon.
00:23:44What's the matter with you?
00:23:46Look, brat.
00:23:50The president of our country is dead.
00:23:53Some things are more important than Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
00:23:57Daddy!
00:24:00Hey, that's my favorite girl.
00:24:10Hi.
00:24:12Hi.
00:24:40Lydia, there's an Indian in our kitchen.
00:24:43Oh, that's Hank.
00:24:45He's Blackfoot.
00:24:47See it? I get it mixed up.
00:24:49Hank knows loads of nifty stuff about the forest.
00:24:53You went into the forest?
00:24:55Oh, it was a hoot sound.
00:24:57I tried something new. How about that?
00:24:59How about that?
00:25:01Well, you didn't expect me to stay on this couch forever, did you?
00:25:06So what's Hank doing in our kitchen?
00:25:09He's fixing supper.
00:25:11Some staple he said got his tribe through hard winters.
00:25:14God, Casper's gonna pass a break.
00:25:17Oh, isn't it wonderful?
00:25:19Hank, honey, what's that Indian thing you're making?
00:25:23Macaroni and cheese.
00:25:36Argh!
00:25:51Welcome, wagon.
00:26:06Ugh!
00:26:10Jeez.
00:26:12Yuck.
00:26:22Explain this.
00:26:24Sammy?
00:26:26Lydia, I think there's something wrong with me.
00:26:28I must be sick or something.
00:26:30You blew your nose in your sock?
00:26:33This didn't come from my nose.
00:26:43You masturbated?
00:26:45I woke up with this stuff all over me.
00:26:50Well, you were dreaming right before you woke up.
00:26:54Was there a girl in your dream?
00:26:57Did you recognize her?
00:27:01She kissed me, and I felt funny.
00:27:07You had a wet dream, honey bunny.
00:27:10Boys have them all the time.
00:27:15I'm sorry.
00:27:17I'm sorry.
00:27:19I'm sorry.
00:27:22Well, do something with it.
00:27:30You know, things like this don't happen to boys with fathers.
00:27:34So crucify me.
00:27:36Every kid in Wyoming probably knows what a wet dream is.
00:27:39And they're laughing at me right now.
00:27:41Call me a squirrel.
00:27:43Poor Sammy.
00:27:45He just moved a step closer to being a grown-up.
00:27:52I couldn't wait to tell Mara what I'd learned.
00:27:55I explained the whole process to her.
00:27:58Except the part where her mom triggered the mess on my belly.
00:28:01How much goo came out?
00:28:03A cup, a quart?
00:28:05Not a quart.
00:28:07How much, then?
00:28:09Well, it was all spread out.
00:28:11About a third cup.
00:28:13I'll lose my virginity someday.
00:28:15And when I do, I don't want to come off ignorant.
00:28:18I want every second.
00:28:27Don't you kids know that coffee will stunt your growth?
00:28:30Dot, do you and your husband have sex?
00:28:33Why, Maury Pierce, I should wash your mouth out with soap.
00:28:37I didn't say a dirty word.
00:28:39You did so.
00:28:41Sex is a dirty word?
00:28:43We don't talk about that word in mixed-gender company.
00:28:48I'll be outside.
00:28:58While Maury was getting the lowdown from Dot,
00:29:01I turned to my dream girl.
00:29:03I had so many questions.
00:29:05I needed someone I could talk to.
00:29:07Someone who would be willing to explore the secrets of love.
00:29:11I needed a professional.
00:29:14My mom won't be home for another 20 minutes.
00:29:17Do you want to do me again?
00:29:20I don't know.
00:29:22That'll be, what, five times since school let out this afternoon?
00:29:25Sam, it's not romantic to keep score.
00:29:39So what'd she say?
00:29:41She said sex is a wonderful and special experience,
00:29:44but can only be done right when two people are in love.
00:29:48Grown-ups are so full of bull.
00:29:51I'll be right back.
00:30:11Hey, Laura, put it in the corner pocket.
00:30:14Geronimo!
00:30:16Whoo!
00:30:18Yippee!
00:30:20Daddy wants to run for governor or something.
00:30:24And he thinks having an illegitimate grandson underfoot
00:30:27would cause embarrassment.
00:30:31That's why Sam and I have been banished to the hinterlands.
00:30:35I was given a choice between Sam goes or we both go.
00:30:41We got politicians in my family, too.
00:30:45They're worse than cow dogs.
00:30:49Hmm?
00:31:01This doesn't mean that we're going steady.
00:31:05Yeah.
00:31:07I mean, we're not even dating.
00:31:19Honk!
00:31:45Hello?
00:31:48Grandpa?
00:31:50Excellent. Now hand the phone to your mother.
00:32:00Lydia?
00:32:03Jeez, Lydia.
00:32:07Grandpa, Lydia's in here right now.
00:32:10Well, where is she?
00:32:12She went for a job interview at the Mormon church.
00:32:15Secretary or something.
00:32:17Your mother will never work a day in her life.
00:32:20Lydia's turned over a new leaf.
00:32:22She must be the fresh air or something.
00:32:24She's changed. She's responsible now.
00:32:26I control the cash flow.
00:32:28I respect that, sir.
00:32:30Tell her she doesn't have to.
00:32:32I control the cash flow.
00:32:34I respect that, sir.
00:32:36Tell her she dumps the Indian or faces the wrath of almighty God.
00:32:40That would be you?
00:33:02Come on.
00:33:33Hi, Sam.
00:33:35Your mom and the other drunks
00:33:37went to the hotel room in Du Bois
00:33:39after the bars closed last night.
00:33:41They're having a party.
00:33:43My cousin Dolores is there.
00:33:45Dolores' husband told her mom
00:33:47in hopes of getting Dolores dragged out,
00:33:49but it didn't work.
00:33:53Well, I'm making fun of you.
00:33:55I'm making fun of you.
00:33:57I'm making fun of you.
00:33:59I'm making fun of you.
00:34:01Well, I'm making coffee. You want some?
00:34:04I want to explain the rules before we do this.
00:34:07Do what?
00:34:09Make sex. Why else would I be here?
00:34:12We're gonna perform sex now?
00:34:14After coffee.
00:34:25It's time you and I find out
00:34:27what the big deal is with this sex thing.
00:34:29Do you think Lydia might come home today?
00:34:31Doubtful. You think you can get a stiffy?
00:34:34Well, I don't know. They sort of come and go on their own.
00:34:37I haven't learned how to control them yet.
00:34:39Maybe it'll happen naturally.
00:34:41Well, I heard something about putting it in the girl's mouth.
00:34:45Ugh! I'm not doing anything that might make me throw up.
00:34:52We're both virgins.
00:34:54I never said I was a virgin.
00:34:56We're both virgins.
00:34:58But someday we're gonna find ourselves doing it for real.
00:35:01So today's sex isn't real?
00:35:04We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill.
00:35:07This is practice.
00:35:09So will we still be virgins afterward?
00:35:12That's part of what we're gonna learn,
00:35:15where the line between virginity and non-virginity is.
00:35:18Here's rule number one. You better not squirt.
00:35:21And no kissing.
00:35:23And no kissing. Kissing is mushy emotional stuff.
00:35:27We can't do this if you're going to get mushy.
00:35:30I promise. No mush.
00:35:35I wish we didn't have to be naked.
00:35:38That's a big part of doing it, I'm sure.
00:35:44Go on.
00:35:46You first.
00:35:48Jeez, Louise.
00:35:51Your turn.
00:35:53Well, this is as far as I've dreamed. I'm ready to quit.
00:35:56Sam.
00:36:04I thought you'd be bigger.
00:36:07Well, it swells up when it gets stiff.
00:36:10**** is its leg.
00:36:13I don't think it's fair to compare people to horses.
00:36:22Well, this doesn't look possible.
00:36:28Horses do it with the stallion standing up behind the mare.
00:36:32Forget horses, okay?
00:36:34You got a better idea?
00:36:38Maybe if I stand on a chair.
00:36:41Well, my books don't say anything about the girl standing on chairs.
00:36:45Books skip this part and go right on to how wonderful it was.
00:36:50Well, maybe if we kiss.
00:36:53I told you. No kissing.
00:36:56Maybe if you touch it with your hand.
00:36:59Okay, but don't look.
00:37:14This is nowhere near a third of a cup.
00:37:17Did we lose our virginities yet?
00:37:20I sure as hell didn't.
00:37:27The hell was that?
00:37:30Crap it all, anyway.
00:37:32Sam, meet my cousin Dolores.
00:37:34Hi.
00:37:35Howdy.
00:37:37Maury, I won't tell Laura Bell that I saw you here if you don't tell her that you saw me.
00:37:43What's in the bottle?
00:37:45Turpenhydrate and codeine.
00:37:47It's really good for when you want to stop drinking.
00:37:50Whoo!
00:37:52Y'all time.
00:37:54Hi, Mom.
00:37:56Whoo!
00:37:57Hi, Lydia.
00:37:59This is my friend Maury from school.
00:38:01Oh, welcome wagon.
00:38:04My mom made me come.
00:38:06She thinks she's Betty Crocker.
00:38:09Now, never be embarrassed by your mother.
00:38:11Sam's embarrassed of me, and look how he turned out.
00:38:14Had to wedge like a racehorse.
00:38:16Swear to God you do not buy codeine, Copser.
00:38:19You rent it.
00:38:21What have you kids been up to all morning?
00:38:24Gin rummy. I owe Maury $3.50.
00:38:27No, we weren't.
00:38:29We were trying to have sex, only we couldn't do it.
00:38:33Why are you trying to have sex?
00:38:37Why are you trying to have sex?
00:38:39I want to know what it feels like before I hit puberty
00:38:42and have to do it for real.
00:38:44And I figured Sam would be more popular
00:38:46if he knew how to please girls.
00:38:48He hasn't been all that popular so far.
00:38:50What's the matter, honey?
00:38:52You having a problem keeping away Nia?
00:38:54It stood up, but we couldn't figure out
00:38:56where he should go in from.
00:38:58And then he squirted.
00:39:00Your turn.
00:39:03You and your mama have little chats like this?
00:39:07My mother thinks I'm sweet 14 and never been kissed.
00:39:10I knew where to go in, I think, but it wouldn't go.
00:39:14I must be too big.
00:39:16Nobody's too big.
00:39:19Are you good and excited?
00:39:22Excited?
00:39:24Yeah.
00:39:26Yeah, besides when you're wet.
00:39:29Nice and wet.
00:39:31Down there.
00:39:33Yeah.
00:39:35Should I have used water?
00:39:37Water don't quite cut it.
00:39:40Secrets.
00:39:42Foreplay is the only proper way a gentleman excites a lady.
00:39:46What's foreplay?
00:39:48You know, it's when a man squeezes your boobs
00:39:51and then whispers real dirty in your ear.
00:39:53Dolores!
00:39:54Lydia.
00:39:56I wish my mother would take the time
00:39:58to talk to me about those things.
00:40:01All right.
00:40:03If you kids are gonna do this, you might as well do it right.
00:40:08Oh, no.
00:40:14Now, Maura looks something like that, right?
00:40:19My eyes were closed.
00:40:22What you wanna do is you wanna go in down here
00:40:25and, uh, one of you's gonna have to grab it
00:40:28and angle it right,
00:40:30because it'll just take years before it slides in on its own.
00:40:33A few years.
00:40:35Now, two things.
00:40:38You two go ahead and play your little boy-girl games,
00:40:41but the first sign of a period in Maori and the game stops.
00:40:45What's a period?
00:40:48Number two.
00:40:50It's a matter of form.
00:40:52You don't talk like this in front of adults.
00:40:55At your age, sex is something you run around and hide.
00:40:59Why?
00:41:01Well, society fell apart with people who are honest about screwing.
00:41:07Sam, let's go to your room and read comic books.
00:41:11Yeah, yeah, comic books sound fun.
00:41:19Oh, I did a bad thing.
00:41:22No.
00:41:26Ten-letter word for lampoon.
00:41:29Uh, satirize.
00:41:32It's too short.
00:41:37Will you explain to me about women?
00:41:40Women are right and men are wrong, and that's all you need to know.
00:41:43I mean about liking.
00:41:46Now that Maura and I have done it, will she like me?
00:41:49Well, Maura always has a warm spot in her heart whenever she thinks about you.
00:41:54But she says we're just friends.
00:41:57Well, you're lucky. That way you can have the fun of love without the heartbreak.
00:42:00But what if I like her and get my heart broke anyway?
00:42:03Then you're a sucker.
00:42:05Here's the deal, Sam.
00:42:07If you sleep with a girl and afterwards she likes you as a friend,
00:42:10then she's always gonna like you as a friend,
00:42:12and she's never gonna like you as a lover,
00:42:14and there ain't nothing in this hell-bitch world you can do about it.
00:42:24Are you afraid to admit that the other night meant something?
00:42:27What happened between us is just what I like most,
00:42:29sex without consequences.
00:42:31Hey, Mom, I'm home.
00:42:33If I'm stupid, I go to jail.
00:42:36If you're stupid, you get shipped off to live with the commoners for a few months.
00:42:39The worst thing that could possibly happen to you
00:42:42is you might lose your trust fund.
00:42:44Well, I'm not about to spend the rest of my life
00:42:46waiting for free cheese at the county extension office.
00:42:54Got rid of another one.
00:42:58Why don't you just go screw your little girlfriend and leave me alone?
00:43:10We're going on a double date to the Saturday matinee.
00:43:13Oh, you and me and another couple?
00:43:15No, me and Dothan and you and Chuckette Martin.
00:43:18Chuckette Martin?
00:43:20No, me and Dothan and you and Chuckette Mars.
00:43:24But Dothan's our mortal enemy.
00:43:27He's your mortal enemy. He's my boyfriend.
00:43:30But Dothan cheered when John Kennedy died.
00:43:33He said...
00:43:35He didn't crap his jerk racist dad's views of...
00:43:38He didn't know any better.
00:43:40Well, he rubbed our faces in the dirt.
00:43:42And he apologized.
00:43:44Well, not to me.
00:43:46Dothan was jealous when he saw us sitting together.
00:43:49He's liked me since the fifth grade.
00:43:51Well, do you like him?
00:43:53That's not the point. Dothan has a learner's permit in the car.
00:43:56We can double with you and Chuckette.
00:43:58Well, I can't stand Chuckette Morris.
00:44:00Yeah, but she likes you. This is your big chance to get a date.
00:44:05Hurry up, Sam. Mom will be home soon.
00:44:20Hey.
00:44:22I'm so excited.
00:44:24Hey.
00:44:26I love her.
00:44:28I love her.
00:44:30I love her.
00:44:32Come on.
00:44:34Come on.
00:44:36Come on.
00:44:38I love her.
00:44:40I love her.
00:44:42I love her.
00:44:44I love her.
00:44:46I love her.
00:44:49I love her.
00:44:59Are you going to kiss me or not?
00:45:03Gosh.
00:45:05I didn't know when I moved here if I'd fit in.
00:45:07But you kids are really great.
00:45:10Okay, you win.
00:45:40Ah!
00:45:53You bit my tongue.
00:45:55Gator Sam.
00:45:57That was disgusting.
00:46:00It was a kiss.
00:46:03With your wet, gross tongue hanging out?
00:46:06Is that how boys back east kiss?
00:46:09Well, everybody kisses Charlotte.
00:46:11That's not how the Nazarenes do it.
00:46:15And he said boys would try to get me passionate.
00:46:19So they could make me pregnant and ruin my life and trick me into going to hell.
00:46:24You sound passionate.
00:46:28I wasn't ready that time.
00:46:31Let's try again.
00:46:49You're home, Sam.
00:47:04Do you want to come in? Lydia got some new records.
00:47:07No, thanks. I'll just have Dothan take me on home.
00:47:11Are you sure?
00:47:14Get out of the car, Sam.
00:47:17I'll be fine.
00:47:22You'll be okay?
00:47:24What do you think I'm going to do to her, for Christ's sakes?
00:47:27Go on, Sam.
00:47:47Attaboy, Sam.
00:47:53I see Don Juan has decided to grease us with his presence.
00:47:59Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.
00:48:15Hey, hey, what's with the Don Juan crank?
00:48:18So you slipped the tongue to truckette.
00:48:21Well, she said kiss me and I kissed her.
00:48:23She claims you were smack dab passionate.
00:48:26Where'd you learn to kiss anyway?
00:48:28Just watching Lydia and her boyfriends.
00:48:30If Mom lets me out, I'll be over after Dick Van Dyke.
00:48:34Maybe we could try kissing this time.
00:48:39Do you practice sex with Dothan?
00:48:43Of course not, silly.
00:48:45He's my boyfriend.
00:48:50Morning, darling.
00:48:54I like a boy who goes through the line with me and carries my tray.
00:48:57It's all right this time, but your manners will have to improve since we're going steady.
00:49:03Who said we're going steady?
00:49:05Well, everyone.
00:49:06They know what you did to me at the picture show.
00:49:10Well, there's more to a commitment than biting someone's tongue.
00:49:13Well, that behavior may pass back east, but here in Wyoming we're moral.
00:49:18That reminds me, you have to give me your jacket.
00:49:21What?
00:49:24Well, it'll be a letter jacket next year.
00:49:26We'll make do for now.
00:49:28Charlotte, it's freezing outside.
00:49:31What better way to prove your love for me than to sacrifice your jacket for my own comfort?
00:49:37Well, I don't want to prove my love.
00:49:42They'll think you took advantage of me.
00:49:46They'll say I'm cheap.
00:49:50Come on, darling, let's go.
00:49:57Jesus.
00:50:05Hank's truck out front was a good sign.
00:50:08The pipes had been frozen when I left for school,
00:50:11which put Lydia in an even nastier mood than she had been in since their fight.
00:50:15I figured they were upstairs having a makeup orgy.
00:50:18I was glad for them.
00:50:20They really seemed to like each other.
00:50:22But after all, your mom is your mom, and I'd hoped they'd hear me and stop.
00:50:26I wasn't in the mood to hear moans and groans from my own mother.
00:50:34Mom?
00:50:48Ta-da.
00:50:51I didn't have time to wrap it.
00:50:53What else were you doing?
00:50:55Now you can listen to your stupid baseball games all night.
00:50:58Thanks, Mom.
00:51:01I mean, thanks, Lydia.
00:51:04Yuck.
00:51:08Yuck.
00:51:11My present's out in the back.
00:51:20So are we going to keep him?
00:51:22Don't be ridiculous. He's not a sweater.
00:51:25I never said he was.
00:51:28Guys, we won't be here that long.
00:51:35Happy Christmas.
00:51:38What's that?
00:51:40By tradition, it ought to be a horse.
00:51:42But I wasn't sure you wanted one.
00:51:44Sam helped me choose it.
00:51:47Hey, I told him he'd never get on it, not in a million years.
00:51:50You got that right.
00:51:52I said Casper won't let you ride a bike.
00:52:02Whoo!
00:52:05Come on, Sam.
00:52:06All right.
00:52:11Yo, hi.
00:52:12You ever need five bucks and you can knock my cowboy hat off?
00:52:14Come on, catch up.
00:52:16Yeah.
00:52:18See, I can ride this.
00:52:19No hands.
00:52:20Yeah, one hand.
00:52:22Don't run me over.
00:52:24Whoa!
00:52:25Whoa!
00:52:27Hi, babe.
00:52:28Are you okay?
00:52:29You should have got her that damn horse.
00:52:34Catch her.
00:52:35It ain't so hard.
00:52:37Come on, hurry up.
00:52:39Get back here, Lydia.
00:52:43I'm out.
00:53:04Maury doesn't love me, Sam.
00:53:06She loves you.
00:53:08You can have her.
00:53:10What's up, the sporting of you?
00:53:12No sweat.
00:53:14I'm in love with another.
00:53:16When he walked me home and he held my hand.
00:53:20I knew it wouldn't be just a one night stand.
00:53:24Because he asked to see me next week and I told him he could.
00:53:28He asked to see me and I told him he could.
00:53:31Well, something tells me I'm into something good.
00:53:37Something tells me I'm into something good.
00:54:01Is Lydia here?
00:54:02Yeah, we're going on a picnic.
00:54:04You want to come?
00:54:06Is Lydia coming?
00:54:08Well, yeah.
00:54:12Hank promised we'd see a magnificent view of the lake.
00:54:15He better not be lying.
00:54:18Hey, look.
00:54:35In nature, a person can be idealistic.
00:54:41Can believe in things.
00:54:44Like what?
00:54:47Like beauty.
00:54:50And the nobility of humans.
00:54:53People in the cities cannot believe in nobility.
00:54:56Because they see no sign of it.
00:54:59I just love it when he talks like Chief Joseph.
00:55:06How can you tell if you're pregnant?
00:55:10Well, the game was supposed to end when you got your first period.
00:55:15I haven't had a period yet.
00:55:18What's a period?
00:55:21Well, I hardly know what being pregnant is.
00:55:26Well, I hardly know what being pregnant feels like myself.
00:55:31I was only a child once, and I wasn't much older than you.
00:55:35I'm just a kid. I can't have a baby.
00:55:38See, that's what I thought.
00:55:48You didn't call me this weekend.
00:55:51Don't know why I go steady with you.
00:55:53You're supposed to call me at least once a day.
00:55:55Sharon's boyfriend calls her house a dozen times a day,
00:55:58and then lets the phone ring once and then hangs up
00:56:00just to let her know he still loves her.
00:56:02And this morning, you didn't even notice my new skirt.
00:56:05I was so appalled.
00:56:07I mean, even Rodney made a compliment.
00:56:09And did I get anything from you?
00:56:11No. It hurts.
00:56:13I'm trying to look nice for you.
00:56:15I mean, you are my boyfriend.
00:56:17If this relationship doesn't start to come to my end of it,
00:56:20then I'm afraid this will not work out.
00:56:44Are you okay?
00:56:47What do you think?
00:56:50Well, if you're pregnant, I'll marry you.
00:56:53Sam, I can't marry you.
00:56:57Why not?
00:57:01I'm 14 years old.
00:57:14It's not gonna be that bad, honey.
00:57:17Oh, wait, shh.
00:57:20Shh, one second.
00:57:37Whoa!
00:57:40We can rent an apartment. I'll get a job.
00:57:43Oh, Sam, don't be a squirrel.
00:57:45Are you coming or not?
00:57:48Yeah.
00:57:50Good, you navigate.
00:57:53You know, nobody asked me what I wanted to do about the baby.
00:57:56No, no one's going to either.
00:58:11Dolores says this is a nasty town.
00:58:14And she doesn't mean nasty in a nice way.
00:58:25I've got to be home before Mom gets back from Idaho Falls.
00:58:29Well, let's do it then.
00:58:39Are you all right?
00:58:42Yeah.
00:58:51They're ready for you.
00:58:54This is the shit.
00:58:57You're gonna be okay.
00:59:01I know.
00:59:06Right this way, sweetheart.
00:59:13Thank you.
00:59:18They all know why we're here.
00:59:24Sam, stop fidgeting.
00:59:29I'm gonna go wait in the waiting room.
00:59:32I'll be right back.
00:59:42Come on.
00:59:54Sam?
00:59:59Maury?
01:00:01Let's go.
01:00:03Maury.
01:00:05Maury!
01:00:13Laura Bell Pierce and Coach Stebbins.
01:00:16Puts a new meaning into Welcome Wagon.
01:00:19Daddy.
01:00:23Daddy.
01:00:33How could Maury and her mom have an abortion at the same time?
01:00:37Only one clinic doing them for hundreds of miles, and then only on Saturdays.
01:00:43I bet there never was a bridge club in Idaho Falls.
01:00:47While Daddy's up at the ranch taking care of the horses,
01:00:51Mom's naked with Aaron Stebbins digging his greasy thing in her.
01:01:01I hate mothers.
01:01:08I love you.
01:01:21You sure you don't want to come home with us?
01:01:24I have to fix Peter's supper. Mom might not make it home till late.
01:01:29Sam.
01:01:32She's barefoot.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:59I'll see you tomorrow.
01:02:01So are we gonna keep the baby?
01:02:03I can't think about that now, Sam.
01:02:06Okay.
01:02:20What's the matter with you?
01:02:24I deserve some fun tonight.
01:02:28Raising kids is my responsibility.
01:02:32How would you know?
01:02:36Well, what does that infer?
01:02:42I didn't know she would get pregnant.
01:02:46You know, I've just about had it with your dismantled attitude.
01:02:51Those kids were 14.
01:02:54You taught them sex games.
01:02:57Your father is right.
01:03:00Sam couldn't be worse off in a military school.
01:03:14You finished with that?
01:03:20Whoa.
01:03:23Come on, Dougie, dance with me.
01:03:44Come on, Dougie.
01:03:51Who do you have to fuck in this joint to get a cup of coffee?
01:03:55I heard Hank's truck last night.
01:03:59He knows what you were doing.
01:04:02Some sheep might.
01:04:05Come on in.
01:04:08Look at you.
01:04:11Well?
01:04:14You gonna have the baby?
01:04:17I guess so.
01:04:20Really?
01:04:22Why are you so happy?
01:04:25I don't know. I guess I'm just ready to be a father.
01:04:28Morning, ladies.
01:04:31What's Hank doing?
01:04:38What's that he's got?
01:04:41It's our moose.
01:04:47He's drunker than a skunk.
01:04:50Hank doesn't drink. Maybe he's sick.
01:04:54Oh, shit.
01:05:00What is that all about?
01:05:04You all right?
01:05:15Hey, butt-face.
01:05:18Don't call me butt-face.
01:05:20Maury's pregnant. You could have hurt her.
01:05:23Your mother's a whore.
01:05:26Yeah, well, that still doesn't give you the right to hurt Maury.
01:05:30I'm sorry.
01:05:33But your mother's still a whore.
01:05:36Oh, shit.
01:05:57You okay?
01:06:01Another pitiful man put his hopes on you, and you took him down.
01:06:06Fuck you, Sam.
01:06:09Fuck you, too, Mom.
01:06:20Your parents have a really nice ranch.
01:06:23Thanks.
01:06:30Are you sure you should be doing that?
01:06:33Dad says I was born on a horse.
01:06:36Come on.
01:06:39You mean you want me to get up there?
01:06:42Why not, silly?
01:06:56Is your dad suspicious yet?
01:06:59He'd be watching you like a coyote.
01:07:02Right now, his worst fear is Lydia might give me a cigarette.
01:07:06What about your mom? Does she know you're still pregnant?
01:07:09Mom won't say a word, but I can tell she's going nuts to find out.
01:07:13She sneaks in my room when she thinks I'm asleep and stares at me for hours.
01:07:18It's spooky.
01:07:22Isn't being friends much better than being girlfriend and boyfriend?
01:07:26If you were my boyfriend, I'd never show you this spot.
01:07:29Because we might break up, and then where would I be?
01:07:32Well, where would you be?
01:07:35Someone I don't like would know my secret.
01:07:39But I still want to have sex with you.
01:07:42We can't have sex now.
01:07:45You're my friend. I can't risk losing you.
01:07:48You're my friend. I can't risk losing you for something as silly as sex.
01:07:53I'm confused.
01:08:01You bike back into town without me.
01:08:05I think I'll talk to Dad.
01:08:08Are you sure?
01:08:11It's time.
01:08:15Is there any chance you might skip the part about who the father is?
01:08:20I'll try, but you and Lydia better lock your doors tonight.
01:08:30Hi.
01:08:34Thanks, sugar.
01:08:37Marnie told her dad about the baby this afternoon.
01:08:40What do you think he'll do?
01:08:43Buddy Pierce will brand your butt.
01:08:46Are you speaking literally or metaphorically?
01:08:52Well, I'm God's gift to horses.
01:08:55Well, yes, sir, but I accidentally squirted into your daughter.
01:08:59Well, now she's with child.
01:09:02No!
01:09:05No!
01:09:08No!
01:09:11No!
01:09:14No!
01:09:17No!
01:09:20No!
01:09:51Can I live here till the baby comes?
01:09:54Of course.
01:09:57This is where I had a go with your dad.
01:09:59He said I'm a slut, and he's ashamed to have me as a daughter.
01:10:04Well, you probably just surprised him. Just give him a few days. He'll come around.
01:10:08No, he won't. Daddy has morals, and I don't.
01:10:14I'm gonna go sleep on the couch.
01:10:17No, that's too far away.
01:10:21Sleep here on the floor in case I need you.
01:10:26Good night.
01:10:43Now your life has tried to set an example of how to deal with public disapproval.
01:10:49It's time to show me what you've learned, honey bunny.
01:10:57Oh, shit.
01:11:01Oh, shit.
01:11:25Oh, dear.
01:11:28I feel like Lee Harvey Oswald.
01:11:31It's like we have the ultimate cooties.
01:11:34Yeah, I'll see you at lunch, hair-saver boy.
01:11:42That was terrible.
01:11:58I'm sorry I got Mary pregnant while I was going steady with you.
01:12:28Good night.
01:12:49Sam.
01:12:52Did she tell on me?
01:12:55Tell on you?
01:12:57About, you know...
01:12:59That you and her mom shared an abortion?
01:13:04No.
01:13:06I think she loves her dad too much to tell him that you screwed her mom.
01:13:10I haven't talked to Laura Bell since the day at the clinic.
01:13:14You can tell Maury that.
01:13:17So you got her an abortion, then dumped her.
01:13:20Well, wasn't that what I was supposed to do?
01:13:28How'd everybody find out?
01:13:31Now that I've told Dad, it doesn't matter who else knows.
01:13:34Well, so who'd you tell?
01:13:37Him.
01:13:40Sammy boy, how's it shaking?
01:13:44About the same.
01:13:46Good.
01:13:48We're still on for Friday night.
01:13:50Time without pity is playing at the movies.
01:13:52Hey, you ought to bring Chuck in.
01:13:54Maybe Saturday night we'll go parking.
01:13:57Why don't I have to ask Chuck in?
01:14:00You'll have to ask Chuck in.
01:14:02If this boy gets any funnier, they're gonna put him on TV.
01:14:10Hey, how come Dothan didn't beat me up at lunch today?
01:14:13He's an understanding kind of guy.
01:14:16And I said I'd break up with him if he was mean to you.
01:14:21Spring in Wyoming lasts all of two weeks
01:14:25and is marked by mud and rampant pregnancy.
01:14:29With all of nature knocked up, Maury and I felt right at home.
01:14:34We discovered the best thing about being ostracized by an entire town
01:14:38is that people leave you alone.
01:14:42With Hank gone, Lydia was crankier than usual.
01:14:47And the rising heat didn't help Maury's mood much either.
01:14:54She said being pregnant was wretched.
01:14:56But to tell you the truth, it didn't bother me that much.
01:15:00I'm going for a bike ride. You want to come?
01:15:03Sure.
01:15:18Do you brush your teeth every day?
01:15:21Yes, Mom.
01:15:23And use a fresh towel after every shower?
01:15:26I will.
01:15:31Bye.
01:15:41I can't believe we have to bring Dothan.
01:15:44He's my boyfriend, Sam. You better be nice to him.
01:15:51What happened to your arm?
01:15:53My daddy broke it.
01:15:55Well, for God's sakes, why'd he do that?
01:15:58Because I was mellin' off.
01:16:00So he broke your arm?
01:16:02I deserved it. Can we just drop it?
01:16:06Dropped.
01:16:09Howdy, folks. You're gonna be glad you came out today.
01:16:12We got a real good rodeo fair here in Grobot.
01:16:15It rained a little earlier. The sun's out nice now.
01:16:18Mud and blood is what a rodeo's all about.
01:16:28Folks, let's have a party.
01:16:30Come on.
01:16:32Come on.
01:16:35Folks, let's have a big hand for Joe Brannigan.
01:16:38Big hand is all. He's gonna win today.
01:16:49The time to mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex.
01:16:53It's proof that man can subjugate anything wild and beautiful
01:16:56once he gets it between his legs.
01:16:58What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.
01:17:02Our next contestant in the bulldogging competition is Hank Elkrunner,
01:17:05right here in Grobot.
01:17:18That 5.4-second ride puts Hank Elkrunner square in the lead.
01:17:22I fail to see how hurling a dumb animal to the earth
01:17:24makes a man the object of mass approval.
01:17:27Take it kindly, Hank.
01:17:29Take it kindly, Hank.
01:17:31Looks like a stud to me.
01:17:33Thanks, folks!
01:17:35Get out of the way!
01:17:37Spur him up! Spur him up!
01:17:53Ladies and gentlemen, if we just stay calm,
01:17:55let our cowboys get in there. We're gonna have professionals on the scene.
01:17:58Give me some help here.
01:18:00Get somebody in here. He's hurt.
01:18:02I made odyssey about mom.
01:18:04I'll go with you.
01:18:09Come on. Move it.
01:18:14Watch him. Easy, easy.
01:18:16He'll be back in a bit.
01:18:18Thank you, fellas. He's gonna be fine.
01:18:26Mama, I have to clean the floor before Buddy comes home,
01:18:29because Buddy will be angry.
01:18:31Mom, it's okay. Leave the floor till later.
01:18:33No. I can't leave any tracks in the linoleum.
01:18:42She's nuts.
01:18:44I'd be locked up.
01:18:46This is your fault.
01:18:48No more than you.
01:18:50You! My baby!
01:18:52You killed my baby!
01:18:54What's she talking about?
01:18:56Baby killed my baby!
01:18:58Mama, it's okay.
01:19:00Mama!
01:19:02Mama!
01:19:04Mama, what are you doing?
01:19:06Get this off of me!
01:19:08She's out there.
01:19:10We need to help her.
01:19:12I'm not even sure she'll be in hurt out there.
01:19:14Can we get some help in for the lady, please?
01:19:16Ladies and gentlemen,
01:19:18everything will be just fine.
01:19:20You must stay in the stand and let the cowboys take care of her.
01:19:24Thank you, Hank. We appreciate it.
01:19:26Easy, man.
01:19:28Get away from me.
01:19:30It's all right.
01:19:34Mama?
01:19:38It's gonna be all right.
01:19:44Hey!
01:19:48But he'll still be at the hospital.
01:19:50We'll follow you out there
01:19:52in case you need us.
01:19:56Pride means nothing if you lose a good man.
01:20:00Yeah.
01:20:14Someone please explain to me
01:20:16what all this pride nonsense is about.
01:20:18Life's too short for me to waste any of it.
01:20:22I'll see you around.
01:20:44Hey!
01:20:46You can't get away from me, you...
01:20:50Hey, I'm talking to you!
01:20:52You think she'll get him?
01:20:54Hank don't stand a chance.
01:20:56I'm your squad, damn it!
01:20:58Hank, you listen to me!
01:21:00Hank!
01:21:14Come here, baby.
01:21:36Okay!
01:21:38You're on, my baby.
01:21:44You're on.
01:22:14Weird.
01:22:24You know why women fake orgasms?
01:22:28I don't give a hoot
01:22:30why women fake orgasms.
01:22:32I'm not comfortable.
01:22:34Women fake orgasms...
01:22:36Listen to the birthday girl!
01:22:38Women fake orgasms
01:22:40because men don't give a hoot
01:22:42and women fake orgasms
01:22:44because men fake foreplay.
01:22:48You know, sometimes
01:22:50when I have a real orgasm
01:22:52I tell the man that I faked it
01:22:54just so he doesn't get cocky.
01:22:56I hate cocky men!
01:22:58My baby's going to be raised on marshmallows.
01:23:00Oh, alright.
01:23:02Sammy on Dr. Peddler, look how he turned out.
01:23:04Mine turned out okay.
01:23:06Says so.
01:23:12Get him, Hank!
01:23:16Get him, Hank!
01:23:18Get his feet, Hank!
01:23:20Get his feet!
01:23:22Get his feet!
01:23:24Get the marshmallows!
01:23:30Put the marshmallows in his ear!
01:23:32Say uncle!
01:23:34Say uncle!
01:23:36Hank's super wise!
01:23:42Uh-oh.
01:23:46Get up, Sam.
01:23:48I said get up on your feet.
01:23:52Samuel, get on your feet.
01:23:56This is your Sunday uniform
01:23:58at the Custer Military Academy.
01:24:02As soon as you clear that mucky gunk
01:24:04out of your ear
01:24:06you'll go in the house and put it on.
01:24:08Daddy?
01:24:10We are going home now.
01:24:12We will play Samuel at Custer
01:24:14and then you and I will proceed
01:24:16on to Greensboro.
01:24:18Wait a second, we can't go home.
01:24:20We're having a baby.
01:24:22Well, I'm sure that little girl
01:24:24has a mother of her own.
01:24:26My mother's in the nuthouse.
01:24:28Be that as it may.
01:24:30You made your bed, now you must lie in it.
01:24:32I will not stand by
01:24:34and see my grandson snared
01:24:36by a spider.
01:24:38I'm not a spider.
01:24:40I told you to be silent.
01:24:42Well, I won't.
01:24:44You just can't come in here
01:24:46and ruin everything.
01:24:48This is our home now.
01:24:50These people are our family.
01:24:52Family?
01:24:54A floozy, a Kiowa,
01:24:56and a very pregnant little girl.
01:24:58Tell me, which member
01:25:00of your new family
01:25:02is going to pay next month's rent?
01:25:04Blackfeet.
01:25:06I'm Blackfeet,
01:25:08not Kiowa.
01:25:10I understand you live
01:25:12in a one-room trailer.
01:25:14You think she's going to like living there
01:25:16and carrying your papooses?
01:25:18Daddy, you're such an asshole.
01:25:20Oh, that could be.
01:25:22When you get to the point where you can pay
01:25:24your way in life, you can live anywhere
01:25:26you want and in any disgusting
01:25:28manner you want.
01:25:30But as long as I'm paying the bills,
01:25:32you will do as I dictate.
01:25:34Good.
01:25:36Go inside and put your uniform on.
01:25:38John, you don't have a lot
01:25:40to say about it.
01:25:42I decided life
01:26:04is a jit.
01:26:06Why couldn't people just do what I wanted?
01:26:08Maury wasn't in love with me,
01:26:10but not in the right way.
01:26:12If we were in love like Romeo and Juliet,
01:26:14we could fight Casper.
01:26:16We could flee into the mountains
01:26:18or chain ourselves to a rock.
01:26:20Romeo and Juliet were 14,
01:26:22and no one treated them like children.
01:26:24But of course,
01:26:26they died at the end.
01:26:32Hey.
01:26:34How'd you get here from town?
01:26:36Hank brought me.
01:26:38He's at the ranch talking to Dad.
01:26:42Your grandfather isn't happy with you.
01:26:44I'll never put on that uniform.
01:26:46Never.
01:26:48Yes, you will.
01:26:50You and Lydia are both hopeless,
01:26:52and we all know it.
01:26:54I won't leave you and the baby.
01:26:56I'll hide in the mountains
01:26:58and live on bushes and frogs if I have to.
01:27:00We made a mistake.
01:27:02This baby's coming with us.
01:27:04This baby's coming
01:27:06whether anybody's ready or not.
01:27:12Don't be sad, Sam.
01:27:16No matter how bad everything is,
01:27:18you and I'll have a baby.
01:27:20You'll be 18 in four years.
01:27:22Then you can come back.
01:27:28Come on.
01:27:30Come on.
01:27:34I'm gonna hit you.
01:27:36You're going in the water.
01:27:40Sam?
01:27:42Are you okay?
01:27:44I just felt the baby.
01:27:50Dr. Jenkins to labor and delivery.
01:27:52Dr. Jenkins to labor and delivery, please.
01:27:58Congratulations, Mr. Pierce.
01:28:00Your grandfather.
01:28:02All right.
01:28:04Well, what about me?
01:28:06Nurse Johnson twins in 202.
01:28:08Nurse Johnson twins in 202.
01:28:10You have a daughter.
01:28:32Her name is Shannon.
01:28:34That's pretty.
01:28:36Can I touch her?
01:28:40Okay, but be gentle.
01:28:42Babies aren't footballs.
01:28:44Yeah.
01:28:46They don't travel as far when you kick them.
01:28:48That's not funny, Sam.
01:29:02I hope she grows up to have my looks
01:29:04and Dad's brains.
01:29:08What about me?
01:29:10She'll have your heart.
01:29:12It's hard to see how a goo on a sock
01:29:14can lead to this.
01:29:16Pretty cool, huh?
01:29:18Yeah.
01:29:32I want to go home.
01:29:34After we...
01:29:38Whoa, I can't go in there.
01:29:40My grandfather will kidnap me.
01:29:42Your grandfather will not kidnap you.
01:29:44Yeah, he'll take me straight to
01:29:46Custer Military Academy.
01:29:48I won't let him.
01:29:52Come on.
01:29:54Come on.
01:29:56Come on.
01:29:58Come on.
01:30:00Come on.
01:30:04Hi, Sam.
01:30:14So, what'd she name the baby?
01:30:16Shannon.
01:30:18Oh, my God.
01:30:20That'll never do.
01:30:22My baby's name is Shannon.
01:30:24Who do I have to fuck in this joint
01:30:26to get a...
01:30:28Get your pants zipped, Jack.
01:30:30Mom?
01:30:32Mutual trust and respect, Sam.
01:30:34Always remember what our relationship
01:30:36is based on.
01:30:38I may have a granddaughter, but I'm not 30 yet.
01:30:40Well, you can't work here, Lydia.
01:30:42Watch me.
01:30:44She won't last a month.
01:30:46First time she breaks a fingernail,
01:30:48she'll be coming home to Daddy.
01:30:50Fat chance, Daddy.
01:30:54So does this mean I don't have to go to Custer?
01:30:56That's right. As long as we pay our own way,
01:30:58the old goat can't force us anywhere.
01:31:00She'll never make the rent on tips.
01:31:02Well, Doc does.
01:31:04And I'm moving in, too.
01:31:06Selling my trailer and coming to town.
01:31:08Maury's family will help pay our rent.
01:31:10Maury's moving in?
01:31:12Well, part-time. My buddy's up at the ranch.
01:31:14Now, what can I get you, fellas?
01:31:16I don't have all day
01:31:18to chit-chat with a rabble.
01:31:26Sam Callahan,
01:31:28I want to have your baby.
01:31:30We all want to have your baby.
01:31:32We want you to be the dad
01:31:34of a new generation.
01:31:36I'm sorry.
01:31:38I'm sorry.
01:31:40I'm sorry.
01:31:42I'm sorry.
01:31:44I'm sorry.
01:31:46I'm sorry.
01:31:48I'm sorry.
01:31:50I'm sorry.
01:31:52I'm sorry.
01:31:54I'm sorry.
01:31:56I would love to father your child,
01:31:58but my heart belongs to my true love.
01:32:02It's just not proper to have babies
01:32:04by more than one girl at a time.
01:32:06You've broken my heart.
01:32:08Be strong.
01:32:10Someday you will understand the theory
01:32:12of one man,
01:32:14one baby.
01:32:24I'm going into Green River
01:32:26after cheerleading practice,
01:32:28so you'll have to handle the 6 o'clock feeding.
01:32:30Well, I'm the father, not the babysitter.
01:32:32Same difference.
01:32:36Now be a good baby.
01:32:40Lydia will help you if you need anything.
01:32:42I won't need Lydia.
01:32:48Bye.
01:32:50Bye, Sam.
01:32:54The future lay before Sam
01:32:56like the great American novel,
01:32:58just waiting to be written.
01:33:00Lydia would marry Hank
01:33:02and join the welcome wagon.
01:33:04Mario would grow to love Sam
01:33:06the way mothers are supposed to love fathers.
01:33:08Shannon would grow up to be
01:33:10beautiful, talented, and virginal.
01:33:14Sam knew the trail ahead would be long,
01:33:16steep, and littered with horse manure.
01:33:18But he was ready now,
01:33:20because somehow, someway,
01:33:22the waitress,
01:33:24the Indian, the cheerleader,
01:33:26and the 15-year-old father
01:33:28would survive.
01:33:30They were the modern American family.
01:33:52I knew you did.
01:33:54Do a lot for baby.
01:33:56Do a lot for you.
01:33:58Oh, baby.
01:34:00I got that feeling.
01:34:02Let's do this now.
01:34:04Check how it feels.
01:34:06Give all your heart.
01:34:10Let's do this show.
01:34:18Let's do it now.
01:34:22Check how it feels.
01:34:26Give all your heart.
01:34:28Let's do this show.
01:34:38Let's do it now.
01:34:40Check how it feels.
01:34:44Give all your heart.
01:34:46Let's do this show.
01:34:52End of Row
01:34:58End of Row
01:35:00End of Row
01:35:02End of Row
01:35:04End of Row
01:35:06End of Row
01:35:18Now that's what
01:35:20This wood should feel like heaven
01:35:44To the swordfish my heart don't miss
01:35:47Swimming in the sea just you and me
01:36:17To the swordfish my heart don't miss
01:36:20Swimming in the sea just you and me
01:36:47Thanks for watching!