Capturing the tough reality of family caregiving - new film in Worthing and Uckfield
Capturing the tough reality of family caregiving, a new film Lost Memories is on the road on a UK tour taking in Worthing’s Colonnade House from September 3-7 and the Victoria Pavilion, Victoria Pleasure Ground, New Town, Uckfield in October.
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00:00Good morning, my name is Phil Hewitt, Group Arts Editor at Sussex Newspapers. Now, really
00:07lovely, really fascinating, really inspiring to talk to Gary Thomas this morning. Now Gary
00:12is the man behind a video installation, a film, which is coming to Worthing and to Uckfield.
00:19And it's about your care journey, it's about how you looked after your mother Nancy, who
00:24died last year, aged 82. But she had Alzheimer's, and it's looking back on seven years, isn't
00:31it, of caring? Yeah. And I guess the point about caring is it's no one's choice, is it?
00:36It's something that happens. Yeah, and it actually starts before the caring journey
00:41because the film shows like a portrait of, you know, how she was in her heyday, and we
00:46go back to old footage of when she married my stepdad. And so it's a real kind of, it
00:51tells the story of her life in many ways, you know, which is hard to fit all that in
00:57like a half hour documentary. But yeah, it's been a real, it's been fun to make it, but
01:06also it's a way of me looking back and dealing with, you know, what happened and processing
01:11the caring journey. Presumably it also captures the decline. It does, yeah, it captures the
01:16decline, but also the joyful moments of when she was very aware, like sometimes I put the
01:24camera in and there's a scene where I'm trying to comfort her because she thinks people have
01:32called her stupid. And that I didn't realise, but that's like a common thing that people
01:37with Alzheimer's and dementia think. They'll kind of make up these stories in their head.
01:42And I'm trying to comfort her, and how I am is I just started recording on my phone, I think,
01:48because I wanted a record of, because it was just me at the time, and I was like,
01:54I want people to see this, like doctors. And I had no intention of, you know, making a film. I
02:00didn't know what was going to happen with the footage. But as it happened, it turned out to
02:05be a really good, you know, project that Arts Council have now funded through time.
02:09And one of the comforts for you, clearly, is the fact that even at the end, she still
02:13knew who you were. Yeah, exactly. And there's moments of her on holiday as well, of us on holiday,
02:19you know, which is fun. Yeah, and she still knew who I was. And she went into a care home in 2021.
02:25She went in for respite originally. And then, yeah, I decided that that was probably the best
02:32place for her, in a way. The things that you are describing are obviously intensely personal,
02:39aren't they? Yeah, yeah. Tell me about the thought process behind making this a public film. Why do
02:46you want to do that? Yeah, so I think it's to, I thought it would be kind of lots of home footage,
02:52home movies, you know, and that would be the film. But actually, in working with David Parker,
02:57who became the producer, we had these conversations about what this film could be.
03:03And I use diary writings as well. So I read those to camera about the time that she was diagnosed.
03:09So that was really interesting. And it's been a great, in terms of processing what happened.
03:14So it's part of your grieving, isn't it? Yeah. And also to open up the conversation about
03:20Alzheimer's, because everyone that I've spoken to about it, everyone that's seen the film,
03:24they all have a connection, if not personal, then they know someone who is a carer of someone with
03:30Alzheimer's or dementia. And you don't realise how prominent it is until you start speaking.
03:36So making something like this really opens up the conversation and the caring conversation as well,
03:41because there's this phrase, you know, unpaid carers. And it is kind of seen as that there's no
03:48kind of, there's no acknowledgement often of how many hours people care, people who care have put
03:58in. Well, it sounds absolutely fascinating. And huge congratulations to you on turning something
04:04grim into something positive. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, that's the idea that people will come and
04:10see the film and actually realise what the caring journey is, but also have a positive
04:16reaction to it as well. Thank you. It's going to be available in Worthing and also
04:22in Uckfield. Gary, lovely to speak to you. Thank you. Thank you and you.