Top 10 Times Cartman Got a Serious Beating
If you're going to dish it out, you've got to be able to take it. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the times the most sociopathic “South Park” character was hit the hardest.
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00:00Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the times the most sociopathic
00:10South Park character was hit the hardest.
00:14And in most cases, we mean that literally.
00:23Number 10.
00:24The Coons Defeat Cartman may have been the founder of the superhero
00:27team Coon and Friends, but it didn't take long for the rest of the group to kick him
00:32out.
00:33Being Cartman, or in this case, his wannabe crime fighter alter-ego, the Coon vows revenge
00:54against his former allies.
00:56Conveniently, the Dark Lord Cthulhu has just been unleashed, and Cartman is able to cozy
01:01up to the monster to get him on his side.
01:12Their reign of terror doesn't last long.
01:14Cthulhu is soon defeated by Mint Berry Crunch, who proves once and for all what it really
01:20means to be the good guy.
01:29Number 9.
01:30Kyle's Carnival Carnage If there's anyone who knows how to put Cartman
01:35in his place, it's his frenemy, Kyle Broflovsky.
01:38Since the show's inception, Kyle has physically overpowered Cartman on several occasions,
01:43even going back as far as Season 2's Cow Days.
01:48At an annual town festival celebrating the noble bovine, Cartman insists on spending
01:53all the boy's money on lame rides.
01:55The others, namely Kyle, blame Cartman for their lack of funds, and Kyle physically pressures
02:01him to enter a bull riding competition for $5,000.
02:11This merely results in Cartman getting amnesia.
02:14Ironically, Kyle's ferocity in this episode almost paints him as more antagonistic than
02:20Cartman, though the latter's future misdeeds tell a different story.
02:29Number 8.
02:30The Visitor's Subject In the series' debut, Cartman becomes a prime
02:34target for extraterrestrial antics.
02:37After claiming he had a dream about being abducted by aliens, Cartman soon discovers
02:41the nightmare was all too real.
02:50The aliens implant a tracking device in his rectum, causing him extreme discomfort and
02:55humiliation.
02:57This culminates in a scene where the device activates, emitting a massive satellite dish
03:02from Cartman's backside.
03:14This was before Cartman was established as the most sociopathic character on the show,
03:19so initial viewers probably felt kinda bad for him.
03:23But in hindsight, he absolutely deserves it.
03:32Number 7.
03:34Fighting Over Heidi Season 21 has Cartman in a full-fledged, if
03:38complicated, relationship with classmate Heidi Turner.
03:51Upon doubling down, Heidi's affections briefly turn to Kyle after she confides in him about
03:56Cartman's toxicity.
03:57Cartman, naturally, is not thrilled about Kyle stealing his girlfriend and confronts
04:02him at school in an old-western-style showdown.
04:17At first, it looks like a fight may start.
04:20With a group of kids gathered in the hallway to watch.
04:22But the brawl doesn't last long.
04:24Kyle knocks Cartman out with a single punch.
04:31Sadly, but not surprisingly, Cartman manipulates his way back into Heidi's heart by the end.
04:37Number 6.
04:38Tolkien's Had Enough Tolkien is portrayed as a sweet, friendly,
04:42and mild-mannered kid in the boys' class.
04:45But Eric Cartman can push even the most docile people to their limits.
05:02Here Cartman recruits Tolkien and Butters to form Faith Plus One, an ostensibly Christian
05:08musical group that's really just a get-rich-quick scheme.
05:11The band does incredibly well, eventually selling over a million records.
05:22But when Cartman's plan to get a platinum album is foiled, because in Christian music
05:27they only give out mer-albums, he destroys the band's reputation by spewing blasphemy
05:33in front of their fans.
05:35This leads to a face-off between him and Tolkien, who defeats Cartman with three easy blows.
05:49Number 5.
05:50Kyle and the Snow Shovel In season 8's Goobax, the tiny mountain
05:55town faces the complex issue of immigration.
06:00Meanwhile, our four protagonists deal with this concern in their own precocious way,
06:06when they start a snow-shoveling service.
06:09Predictably, Cartman weasels his way out of doing any work other than negotiating payment
06:13with their first customer.
06:23This doesn't sit well with the more morally conscious Kyle, who berates Cartman for his
06:28laziness.
06:29The argument ensues, and Cartman talks his normal big game.
06:32In the next shot, it's implied Kyle hit Cartman in the face with a shovel and injured
06:36his nose.
06:37Okay, so maybe we don't actually see this particular attack, but it's certainly an
06:49example of Kyle showing Cartman who's boss.
06:52Number 4.
06:54Cartman vs. PC Principal A product of the 19th season, which involved
06:59a serialized storyline for the first time in South Park history, PC Principal is a walking,
07:04talking parody of extreme, woke culture.
07:12Although he may have the best intentions, he's not above resorting to violence to get
07:16his point across.
07:18We see this firsthand in Stunning and Brave, when Cartman threatens to blackmail him.
07:28Far from taking the bait, the new principal becomes offended by Cartman's quote-unquote
07:32insensitive remarks and savagely beats the fourth grader, landing him in the hospital.
07:37Cartman may have learned the hard way, but at least he knows who he's up against now.
07:55Number 3.
07:56A Smile at Kenny's Real Funeral This episode near the end of season 5 really
08:00threw fans for a loop.
08:14Trey Parker and Matt Stone decided to play with the Kenny dying gag by killing him off
08:18for good, or so we thought at the time.
08:21As such, this storyline constantly toes the line between funny and heartbreaking, featuring
08:27many sweet moments of bonding among the four main boys.
08:30In fact, there's a point where Cartman cries into Kyle's arms while promising to find
08:34a cure for Kenny's illness.
08:42It was something fans never thought they'd see.
08:45Of course, it turns out Cartman's only big scheme was to build his own pizza restaurant
08:50out of stem cells.
08:51When Kyle realizes he comforted Cartman for no reason, it's not pretty.
09:03Number 2.
09:04The Wrath of God This darkly hilarious season 15 premiere sees
09:08Kyle thrust into a very unfortunate arrangement.
09:21Not that Cartman cares, he's too busy begging for an iPad, which is just about the only
09:25gift his indulgent mother, Leanne, is unable to provide.
09:29After begging, whining, and otherwise pulling his usual Cartman schtick to get what he wants,
09:34he's eventually given an iPad… sort of.
09:40When justice prevails and it's taken away, Cartman turns upward and begins to furiously
09:45taunt God, only to be promptly struck by lightning.
09:48You might be able to mouth off to your poor mother, but God doesn't take so kindly to
09:53vulgarity.
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10:12Number 1.
10:14Wendy's Most Legendary Moments We can't rave enough about this victory.
10:19Wendy proves to be one of the show's biggest badasses when she finally teaches Cartman
10:23a lesson.
10:31Cartman has always loved messing with his bud Stan's on-again-off-again girlfriend,
10:36the overachieving Wendy.
10:38This time he pushes her too far by disrespecting the topic of breast cancer.
10:54Wendy vows at the beginning of the episode to beat Cartman up, and although he tries
10:58to get out of it, Wendy certainly delivers in the end.
11:02She pummels him in front of the entire playground, and the animation really drives home that
11:06it hurts.
11:14Hopefully Cartman knows better than to mess with Wendy Testenberger now.
11:18Did Cartman deserve these savage beatdowns?
11:21Of course!
11:22Let's discuss in the comments!