Charley attempts to repulse a blind date, not realizing that she is a knockout.
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Short filmTranscript
01:00Hello, honey.
01:01Hello, Chris.
01:02Come on.
01:07Well, you all set for the large dance tonight?
01:10That's just what I came to see you about.
01:12Don't tell me you're not gone.
01:14No, not that. But my girlfriend just arrived from Pittsburgh.
01:18I can't run off and leave her tonight.
01:21Well, bring her along.
01:23She don't want to tag along with us unless she has a boyfriend.
01:26Oh, don't worry about that.
01:28I'll get Charlie to take her.
01:30Fine.
01:31What if Charlie has another date?
01:34Oh, Charlie never disappoints me.
01:36All right.
01:38Remember, if she don't go, I don't go.
01:42Oh, you leave that to me. Charlie hasn't failed me yet, has he?
01:47So long.
01:52Now, listen. You can beg all you want.
01:55I'm not going out with the dame.
01:57She'll have to get somebody else.
01:58But she don't know anyone else. She's a stranger in town.
02:01She came from Pittsburgh.
02:02Ah, Pittsburgh.
02:05You remember what happened the last time you introduced me to a dame from Pittsburgh?
02:08What?
02:09Why, the comic Valentine.
02:11I couldn't get rid of her. She turned out to be a pest.
02:13But this one's different. She's a pip.
02:16A pip. A pip.
02:18Wait a minute.
02:20You told me that one was a pip, too.
02:22Well, I...
02:28I'm not going.
02:30Hempstead 9581.
02:33Yes.
02:38Hello.
02:40Oh, hello, honey.
02:41Well, I just called to find out if Charlie was going to take my girl to the movies.
02:45Hello, honey.
02:46Well, I just called to find out if Charlie was going to take my girlfriend to the dance.
02:50Why, certainly. He'll be tickled to death to take her.
02:55Hey.
02:56Yes, he gave me his assurance early this evening.
02:58Yes, he's getting dressed now.
03:02Why, certainly. He's getting ready now.
03:05I'm not going.
03:08I'll tell you. Put him on the phone and I'll introduce him to Miss Todd.
03:11Charlie, she wants the introduction of the girlfriend.
03:14Yes, Alma.
03:16Come here a minute, dear. I want you to meet Mr. Chase.
03:24Hello...
03:28Hello.
03:29Hello, Mr. Chase.
03:32Well, what of it?
03:35Why, this is Miss Todd speaking.
03:39I suppose that makes me an elf, huh?
03:42Well, I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. Chase.
03:47Hey, listen.
03:50Did you come clean from Pittsburgh?
03:57Why, yes.
03:59You know, I think it's very sweet of you to take me to the dance.
04:03Oh, forget it, Smokey. Listen.
04:05All my pals call me big-hearted Charlie.
04:12Now look what you got me into.
04:17Wrong number.
04:25Now I suppose I'll have this stogie hanging around my neck the rest of my life.
04:29Well, if you feel that way about her, why don't you make yourself distasteful to her?
04:33So she won't like you.
04:35What do you mean?
04:36Well, don't shave.
04:38Don't shave.
04:40And you might wear this old suit of mine.
04:44Oh, my dear fellow, I owe you an apology.
04:46Why?
04:47I never thought you had any brains.
04:48Why, Charlie, I...
04:49That's a marvelous idea. I'll do it.
04:52Oh, say, Charlie.
04:53What?
04:54Being as you're going to wear this old suit of mine, can I wear your new suit?
04:59Well, now, the fellow...
05:00Why, you act as if it didn't belong to you.
05:02Well, it don't.
05:04Well, in a couple of more payments it'll be mine. I guess it's all right. Go ahead.
05:07Thanks, pal.
05:08Gee, pal.
05:10Hurry with your lunch, Thelma, dear.
05:12The boy will be here in a minute to take them over to the dance.
05:18Well, I do hope Mr. Chase likes this lunch I prepared for him.
05:22Oh, he will. He's keen.
05:24You wouldn't fool me, would you?
05:25What if I could?
05:35Well, how do I look, my boy?
05:36Great.
05:37You're just the type.
05:40You better watch out. They're going to raffle off the girls' lunches tonight.
05:43You're going to spoil your appetite eating those peanuts.
05:46What do you mean, peanuts? That's garlic.
05:51If this Jane hangs around my neck tonight, boy, she's going to get gassed.
05:54Well, let's go.
06:01Grant, here we are.
06:03You go up to number 20, Charlie, and get the girls.
06:05I'll watch the car.
06:07Okay.
06:17Hello, Charlie.
06:18Hi, Dorothy.
06:20Miss Todd will be out in a minute.
06:22Okay.
06:34Mr. Chase?
06:36Yeah, go on.
06:44Well, I didn't know we were going to a mass grave, Mr. Chase.
06:48This is swell. You ought to see my working clothes.
06:59What?
07:04I hope you'll pardon me, Miss Todd. I seem to be a little nervous this evening.
07:09Oh, why, that's all right, Mr. Chase.
07:12It's awful nice of you to go to the party with me.
07:14Oh, not at all.
07:17How's every little thing in Pittsburgh?
07:19Oh, everything's fine.
07:21Lovely city.
07:26Oh, Mr. Chase, have you ever been to Pittsburgh?
07:29What?
07:32Why, no, Miss Todd. As a matter of fact, I've never been out of the United States.
07:39Oh, what's the matter, Grant?
07:41Nothing, honey.
07:46Oh, I know we're just going to have a swell time tonight.
07:50Yes, I'm looking forward to having a regular picnic.
08:00Oh.
08:12Hi, Minnie.
08:15Say, you dirty double-crosser.
08:17Why didn't you tell me that girl was good-looking?
08:19I told you she was a pip, Charlie.
08:21Yeah, but you let me go and dress up like a tramp, didn't you?
08:23Well, you said you wanted her to dislike you.
08:26Give me my suit.
08:27I can't do that, Charlie.
08:29Give me my suit.
08:30I tell you, I can't take it off here.
08:33You know, I can't understand why Charlie dressed so shabby tonight.
08:36Well, he always looks so neat.
08:38Why, yes, I noticed it, too.
08:40I'm getting sore. Give me my suit.
08:42No.
08:43What do you suppose is the reason for it?
08:44Gee, pal, I never thought you'd do me a dirty trick like that after what we've been to each other.
08:48Well, I'm sorry, Charlie, but it isn't my fault.
08:50Why, what a lovely gathering.
08:53Oh, by the way, Mr. Chase, do you have your suits made to order?
08:57Why, yes.
08:59I thought so.
09:00You know, it'd be awfully hard to find a suit like that ready-made.
09:11Oh, will you pardon me a minute, Miss Todd?
09:13Oh, why, certainly.
09:14Excuse me.
09:27Ah.
09:51Ah.
09:57Ah.
10:14Hello there.
10:15Oh.
10:17How are you?
10:18Fine.
10:23Oh.
10:28Say, listen, pal.
10:30There's two things that's sacred to a guy, and one of them is his Sunday suit.
10:34Now, when am I going to get that suit?
10:36Never.
10:37Oh, but, pal.
10:38I tell you, no.
10:39Palsy, what?
10:40Guess who it is.
10:42Ah.
10:44Amy McPherson.
10:45No.
10:47I give up.
10:48It's me.
10:52The Pip from Pittsburgh.
10:54Oh, Charlie.
10:55Can't I have the next dance with you?
10:57Now, listen.
11:01Oh, say, I'll tell you what I'll do.
11:03You see those lunches?
11:04Yes.
11:05Now, one of those was prepared by a certain Miss Todd.
11:09Now, if you'll go over there and snoop around and find out which one of those lunches is hers, I'll dance with you.
11:16All right, Charlie.
11:17I will.
11:18Goodbye.
11:24Goodbye.
11:41Say, mister.
11:42I was wondering if you'd do me a favor.
11:44I left my glasses at home tonight, and there's an article here I'd like to...
11:47Would you read it to me?
11:49Why, certainly.
11:51Just get it around here.
11:52You can see better.
11:55Simplifying your income tax return.
11:58Explained so that Mr. and Mrs. Bublik can understand.
12:01By Professor C. Harper.
12:03F.X.D.
12:04There you are.
12:05Your income is the source of your revenue.
12:07Oh.
12:08How do you do?
12:09How do you do?
12:10Oh.
12:11The government take also starts simultaneously.
12:14If not before yours.
12:16Memorizing the above with but one exception, i.e., the phrase pertaining to government take.
12:22Eliminating this, the classified questions on page 1, 3, and 5 of your form should not be confused with classes 2 and 4.
12:30However, do not be misled by the apparent obvious clarity of these groupings.
12:35You have yet to cope with questions on the back pages of the form.
12:39Take, for example, page 6.
12:41Too often the taxpayer, having filled out the front of this page, will turn it, laboring on the supposition that its back is page 7.
12:49This is erroneous, as is often proven by a request from the collector that you appear before him with your bank stubs, cancel checks, and so forth.
12:57To obviate this all too frequent annoyance, follow my instructions closely and through the letter.
13:03The reverse of page 6 is in reality page 9.
13:07This is arrived at by turning the page of the form to the left, upside down, and holding, say, up to a small light or natural illumination.
13:16The purpose of this economic gesture upon the part of the government is just that, just what it implies.
13:22Economists.
13:23One thousand billion, three hundred thousand.
13:26Save the government the cost of fifty-seven tons of big F.O.B. Harlem, New York, to say nothing of the price paid to...
13:32What?
13:33Charlie, I looked at the tag, and I know which lunch is Miss Todd's.
13:37Oh, goody, which one?
13:39Well, I tell you, you watch me, and when they put Miss Todd's lunch up for auction, I'll wave my handkerchief.
13:46What a wolf.
13:48Ladies and gentlemen, we shall now auction off the lunches.
13:55Well, now, let me see.
13:57Aha!
13:59What have we here?
14:01Something nice, folks.
14:02How much am I offering?
14:03Fifty.
14:04Fifty.
14:05One dollar.
14:06One dollar.
14:07Anybody else?
14:08One dollar.
14:09Going.
14:10Going.
14:11Sold to the jungle for one dollar.
14:12You lucky boy.
14:13Yes.
14:22Aha!
14:25What am I offering for this one?
14:27Come on, make me an offer.
14:29Thirty-five cents.
14:31Thirty-six.
14:36Forty cents.
14:39Forty-one.
14:42Fifty cents.
14:47Fifty-one.
14:52Sixty cents.
14:56Going.
14:57Sixty-one.
15:00Sixty-one.
15:01Seventy cents.
15:02Seventy cents, I want.
15:03Seventy cents.
15:04Seventy.
15:05Seventy-one.
15:06Seventy-one, I want.
15:07Seventy.
15:08Seventy-one.
15:09Seven dollars.
15:10A dollar.
15:11Anyone else?
15:12Anyone else?
15:13Dollar.
15:14Anyone else?
15:15Anyone else?
15:16Sold to the gentleman with the red necktie.
15:17Curses.
15:18Right.
15:31That is mine, Mr. Chase.
15:35No.
15:49You win.
15:52Oh, I'm sorry.
15:55Ladies and gentlemen, the next dance will be a moonlight dance.
16:00Now, from time to time, the lights will go out, but don't be frightened.
16:04It's just the moon going behind the clouds.
16:07Oh, Mr. Chase, this is our dance.
16:22Give me my suit.
16:30Give me my suit.
16:56I've got it.
17:01Huh?
17:09Oh, cut it out, Charlie.
17:11Give me that suit.
17:22I'm getting mad.
17:23Give me that suit.
17:24I want.
17:31I want.
17:44Charlie, have a heart, will you?
17:47Give me those turtledrops.
17:48No.
17:49Oh, Charlie.
18:01Give me those turtledrops.
18:02No.
18:03Oh, Charlie.
18:04Oh, let it be, Charlie.
18:30Let it be, Charlie.
19:00Oh.
19:22Oh.
19:27Oh, Mr. Chase, have you some gum?
19:30Uh, no, but I can get you some.
19:37Oh.
19:53I put a five dollar gold piece in there.
20:00I put a five dollar gold piece in there.
20:31Oh.
20:32Oh.
20:33Oh.
20:34Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:36Oh.
20:37Oh.
20:38Oh.