FILM Toad Warrior (ENG 1996)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:03:23Need a lift, Max?
00:03:25Sure.
00:03:27Good evening, Lori.
00:03:29♪
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00:03:47So, hey, baby, you into toads?
00:03:50No way.
00:03:53♪
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00:04:01So, it's Max, your mean Swede?
00:04:04None of your business.
00:04:06♪
00:04:12You're one of those tough girls, aren't you?
00:04:15You know it.
00:04:17Well, I'm pretty tough, too.
00:04:19♪
00:04:22You know who I am?
00:04:24No.
00:04:26I'm Commander Armstrong of the Third Toad Resistance.
00:04:29So?
00:04:31♪
00:04:36You okay back there, Max?
00:04:38Yeah, I'm fine.
00:04:40Why don't you lose that samurai and you and me go out, baby?
00:04:44I don't need money.
00:04:46I don't need money, baby.
00:04:48I control this outer toad country.
00:04:50Well, maybe.
00:04:53♪
00:04:56♪
00:05:04Okay, okay, enough of this.
00:05:07Listen, baby,
00:05:09I want you to do a little dance for me on this desk here.
00:05:12There you go.
00:05:14♪
00:05:19Now, listen,
00:05:21when we come back to my lily pad later,
00:05:23we can talk a little business.
00:05:25What do you say?
00:05:27Dr. Trixie T,
00:05:30I've finished running your tests.
00:05:32Is there anything else?
00:05:34No, that would be all, Ms. Gosspotter.
00:05:36But I have a question.
00:05:38Hmm?
00:05:40What?
00:05:42Spit it out, Ms. Gosspotter.
00:05:44What was the common link
00:05:46between DNA and the reversion process?
00:05:50You see, it was Mickey O'Malley
00:05:52that actually unleashed this plague,
00:05:54which has caused all these disturbances and everything.
00:05:57Oh, I see.
00:05:59I understand.
00:06:01That's why you came up with the reversion process.
00:06:04Oh, yes, isn't that wonderful?
00:06:06Oh, I understand.
00:06:08Oh, yes, I get it.
00:06:10Got it.
00:06:12Now, we've got the methyl violet.
00:06:14In this colour range, in the acid range,
00:06:16it's more yellow,
00:06:18which gives us a pH range of 0 to 2.
00:06:21I see.
00:06:23Well, the colour in the more acid range
00:06:26is violet or yellow?
00:06:29What colour is that, Ms. Gosspotter?
00:06:33Yellow?
00:06:35Very good.
00:06:37It's quite, quite, yes.
00:06:39Hence, negative 890.3 KJ of heat
00:06:43are evolved during the combustion
00:06:45of one mole of methane,
00:06:47which gives us now the final analysis.
00:06:50Now, now we have the changes
00:06:52for the reaction in one direction
00:06:54is equal in magnitude
00:06:56and in the opposite side to the 4H.
00:06:58For the reaction in the reverse direction,
00:07:00it's 2H is directly proportional
00:07:02to the quantities of reactions it produces.
00:07:04For the reverse reaction,
00:07:06something negative of that is the forward reaction,
00:07:08which gives me the conclusion
00:07:10that I have now developed the reversals.
00:07:12Oh, I see.
00:07:14And now that's why you've developed
00:07:16the reversion process.
00:07:18I'm so excited.
00:07:20It's just wonderful.
00:07:22Goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie.
00:07:24I think we should celebrate.
00:07:26I think we should order out for some pizza.
00:07:28Ms. Gosspotter, I have an idea.
00:07:30Why don't you stay here
00:07:32while I go out for a walk?
00:07:34I think I need a breath of fresh air.
00:07:36Righty then.
00:07:38Okay.
00:07:48Cricket, come on in, please.
00:07:50You sent for me, Master O'Malley.
00:07:52Yes, I did, yes.
00:07:54Oh, have a seat.
00:07:56Make yourself at home.
00:07:58Well, Ms. Cricket,
00:08:00I'm sure you're curious
00:08:02as to why I called for you.
00:08:04Yes, I am.
00:08:06Yes, yes.
00:08:08Well, it's the matter of that
00:08:10Humphrey Bullfrog.
00:08:12You see,
00:08:14Humphrey owes me money
00:08:16and while tugged on it,
00:08:18he just refuses to pay.
00:08:20Can you imagine such a thing?
00:08:22I've always liked
00:08:24that Humphrey, that Humphrey Bullfrog.
00:08:26What's your feelings
00:08:28about that gentleman?
00:08:30I don't know.
00:08:32I think he's
00:08:34quite large.
00:08:36He's green.
00:08:38Ugly.
00:08:40Oh, and he stinks.
00:08:42Oh, badly, badly.
00:08:44But you seem to think it's a bad thing.
00:08:46It's not necessarily a bad thing.
00:08:48You live in a pond,
00:08:50you live on a lily pad,
00:08:52you know what the heck,
00:08:54things like that happens,
00:08:56but he is very good at what he does.
00:08:58Except paying back money.
00:09:00He's very bad at that.
00:09:02So, Miss Cricket,
00:09:04if you would,
00:09:06I'd like you to go see
00:09:08Mr. Humphrey Bullfrog
00:09:10and collect my money.
00:09:12Hmm?
00:09:14Be gentle, be kind,
00:09:16and if he disagrees,
00:09:18well then,
00:09:20show him these.
00:09:25Yes, yes, yes.
00:09:27Go fast to the next time.
00:09:29He's ruining my timing.
00:09:31Anyway, my dear,
00:09:33here are some pictures
00:09:35of the little horny toad
00:09:37with some little
00:09:39fawns of his, may I say.
00:09:41Some little tadpoles
00:09:43frolicking in the lake,
00:09:45you know.
00:09:47I'm sure you'll find them very amusing.
00:09:49We certainly did, didn't we?
00:09:51Well, you show Mr. Humphrey Bullfrog
00:09:53those pictures
00:09:55and see if he can't come across
00:09:57my money,
00:09:59my greenbacks, so to speak.
00:10:01So to speak.
00:10:03Very well, Master O'Malley.
00:10:05Good day.
00:10:07Good day.
00:10:09What can I do for you today?
00:10:11Mr. Big sent me.
00:10:13My name's Cricket.
00:10:15Well, ribbit, ribbit.
00:10:17You're going to be chirping your casket
00:10:19if you don't come up with the Bill Weiss guy.
00:10:21This is the only bread you're going to get out of me, Dolly.
00:10:27I'll give him the message.
00:10:29Except you're the one that's going to be toast.
00:10:31Froggy.
00:10:33Don't you worry, Miss Life-Scraper.
00:10:35I'll take care of you
00:10:37and Mr. Big.
00:10:39That loud-mouthed, no-good
00:10:41chubbies.
00:10:45Say what?
00:10:53Big sword.
00:10:55And a sheep, too.
00:10:57Lose the frog,
00:10:59go for a drink.
00:11:01Love to, but, uh,
00:11:03no can do. Got a job.
00:11:05Another time.
00:11:13Oh, nobody's going to have that
00:11:15without a rack of my mind!
00:11:17That's what I thought.
00:11:19That's what I thought.
00:11:21Who got this?
00:11:27Ow.
00:11:29Get off me.
00:11:31Get off me.
00:11:33Matt, give me a little help here.
00:11:35Yeah, I could help,
00:11:37but, uh,
00:11:39what's in it for me?
00:11:41I'll give you a job.
00:11:43I don't work cheap.
00:11:45I'll give you my season tickets.
00:11:47Not enough.
00:11:49I'll give you my box seats.
00:11:51Still not enough.
00:11:53I'll throw in my car.
00:11:55That piece of junk.
00:11:57Okay, I'll throw in hibiscus.
00:12:01Yeah, I can get a few dollars
00:12:03for her on the black market.
00:12:05Hold this.
00:12:07Nice work
00:12:09of the hands there, Vax.
00:12:14Looks like I owe you one.
00:12:16At least.
00:12:18So,
00:12:20here you got a job for me.
00:12:22Frog girl here was payment
00:12:24for taking out Laughing Boy for you.
00:12:26What else you got to offer me?
00:12:28I don't know.
00:12:30I don't know.
00:12:32I don't know.
00:12:34I don't know.
00:12:36Never heard of Dr. Trixie T?
00:12:38She was kidnapped a couple of weeks ago
00:12:40by Mr. Big.
00:12:42Mr. Big, huh?
00:12:44Yeah, Mr. Big.
00:12:47Mr. Lee!
00:12:49I gotta go get him!
00:12:51I gotta go get him!
00:12:53I gotta go get him!
00:12:55I gotta go get him!
00:12:57I gotta go get him!
00:13:06What did he say?
00:13:11We are here to serve you.
00:13:17I knew that.
00:13:19I knew that.
00:13:21Yes, and
00:13:23that's good because you see
00:13:25right now I need a little service.
00:13:27There is
00:13:29a Miss
00:13:31Dr. T
00:13:33out there, a petite young little lady
00:13:35whom I need you young fellas
00:13:37to fetch. Any questions?
00:13:39What's she look like?
00:13:41What's she look like?
00:13:43What's she look like?
00:13:45What's she look like?
00:13:49Just a moment.
00:13:51What did he say?
00:13:56What does she look like?
00:13:58I knew that.
00:14:00I knew that.
00:14:05I knew that.
00:14:21Who are you?
00:14:23Let go of me!
00:14:25Who are you?
00:14:29Let go!
00:14:31Get off of me!
00:14:33She's the only scientist in the world
00:14:35who can transfer frog DNA
00:14:37to human DNA.
00:14:39You gotta go find her.
00:14:41Must be a pretty big reward in this.
00:14:43Yeah, there's a big reward, a huge
00:14:45reward. I'll tell you what, you can have
00:14:47all of this.
00:14:49Deal.
00:14:51Good luck, Max.
00:14:53You're gonna need it.
00:14:55Hmph.
00:15:01Oh!
00:15:03Cricket! Cricket, come on in.
00:15:05I always like to meditate,
00:15:07you know.
00:15:09I remember that about you.
00:15:11Yes, yes, yes.
00:15:13You're a spiritual person.
00:15:15Well, enough about that. Did you find
00:15:17Mr. Humphrey Bullfrog? I did.
00:15:19Ah, you did.
00:15:21And I assume that you asked
00:15:23Mr. Humphrey Bullfrog for my
00:15:25money? I did.
00:15:27Uh-huh. And what
00:15:29did Mr. Bullfrog say?
00:15:31Well, he seemed to say
00:15:33the only dough you were gonna
00:15:35get was a croissant.
00:15:37The only dough I was going to get
00:15:39was a croissant.
00:15:41And he certainly
00:15:43has a sense of humor, doesn't he?
00:15:47I assume you showed him
00:15:49the picture? Oh, I did.
00:15:51And after you showed him the
00:15:53pictures, what did Mr. Bullfrog
00:15:55say then?
00:15:57Well, the pictures...
00:15:59He seemed to need three of these.
00:16:01He ordered six of those.
00:16:03Oh, four of these, an eight-by-ten.
00:16:05He needed these black and white
00:16:07in a sort of five-by-nine.
00:16:09And, uh...
00:16:11Oh, these were my favorite.
00:16:17Well, uh, I guess
00:16:19we're just going to have to find
00:16:21some other way to get my money
00:16:23from Mr. Humphrey Bullfrog.
00:16:25Oh, by the way, I ran into a gentleman
00:16:27with a... well,
00:16:29with a very large sword
00:16:31on the way out of the building.
00:16:33Makes me green with envy.
00:16:35Oh, you meant a sword.
00:16:37A sword. In a sheet.
00:16:39He was, um...
00:16:41He was tall, and he had some blond hair.
00:16:43Sort of dressed.
00:16:45He had some fraud with him.
00:16:47What the hell?
00:16:51That sounds awfully familiar,
00:16:53that gentleman.
00:16:55What the hell is his name?
00:16:57It's on the tip of my tongue.
00:16:59I know it. What the hell is it?
00:17:01Max Hill?
00:17:03Look, this...
00:17:05I want you to go find him,
00:17:07and I want you to follow him,
00:17:09because I'm sure if he's in town
00:17:11and in this building, he's in cahoots
00:17:13with that Humphrey Bullfrog fella.
00:17:15So you find him,
00:17:17and I'm sure you'll find him
00:17:19down at the old lake together, I'm sure.
00:17:21You run along now,
00:17:23and let me know what you come up with.
00:17:25Got it.
00:17:31Oh, my!
00:17:33Oh, Max Hill!
00:17:35How are you doing?
00:17:37What can I, uh...
00:17:39do for you?
00:17:41I'm looking for Trixie T.
00:17:43Oh!
00:17:45I see.
00:17:47You know, funny you should mention that.
00:17:49Like, she took a long walk,
00:17:51and she just has been gone for days.
00:17:53She just never came back.
00:17:55And I don't know why.
00:17:57Is there...
00:17:59anything I can do for you?
00:18:01I don't think so.
00:18:03Oh.
00:18:05Whew!
00:18:11My kind of broad
00:18:15Best kind of broad
00:18:19I would think I'd
00:18:21Don't think I'd
00:18:23My kind of broad
00:18:26Oh, my love
00:18:28Of old
00:18:30Where's Jackie?
00:18:32I heard you crying
00:18:34I heard you cry
00:18:36You gotta know
00:18:38You make me feel so bad
00:18:40Each time I see
00:18:42Your princely smile
00:18:44Why don't you take me
00:18:46To your little pad
00:18:48We could play tadpole
00:18:50For a while
00:18:52Big wet feet
00:18:56Bulging eyes
00:19:00I'm comfy
00:19:02By your side
00:19:04I'll be your lifeless pet
00:19:06If you keep getting wet
00:19:08Why don't we rip it up?
00:19:12Don't resist
00:19:16Don't be like other tone-deaf kids
00:19:20I just get hotter
00:19:22When I touch water
00:19:24You're my kind
00:19:26Of broad
00:19:32Whoo!
00:19:38So, Max,
00:19:40I hear you got a job.
00:19:42So?
00:19:44So, I'm available.
00:19:46You know me.
00:19:48I always work alone.
00:19:50Oh, really? Then what's this?
00:19:52Her.
00:19:54She's payment for my last gig.
00:19:56On her way to the pawn shop.
00:19:58Come on, Max, you know I need the job.
00:20:00Weapons, hand-to-hand...
00:20:02Seduction.
00:20:04Yeah, you are good with that.
00:20:10I thought you had a job.
00:20:12I'm doing it.
00:20:24See, Max?
00:20:26I always got your back.
00:20:28Yeah, you do.
00:20:53Lieutenant Armstrong,
00:20:55you've sent for me?
00:20:57I want you to go into Frogtown
00:20:59and bring back that Stolten Serum to me.
00:21:03I'm on it.
00:21:12You sent for me, Commander Armstrong?
00:21:14Yes, Agent Starr.
00:21:16There's been a great disturbance in the cyberspace.
00:21:18Dr. Trixie T.'s formula has been stolen.
00:21:20And if we don't get it back immediately,
00:21:22the entire world will be turned into slimy toads.
00:21:24So what do you want me to do about it?
00:21:26They've already sent that low-life, Max Hell.
00:21:28I want you to go in there and get it
00:21:30and bring it back to me.
00:21:32Look, I've already killed
00:21:34three of those toads before breakfast.
00:21:36I'm having a bad enough day as it is.
00:21:38Now you want me to go squish some more amphibians
00:21:40and then deal with that psycho, sword-swinging Max Hell?
00:21:42Yes.
00:21:44There goes my afternoon manicure.
00:21:54What's the matter?
00:22:24No!
00:22:40No, honey!
00:22:42We want the frog serum.
00:22:44I said we want Dr. Trixie T.'s frog serum.
00:22:46I said we want Dr. Trixie T.'s frog serum.
00:22:48I said we want Dr. Trixie T.'s frog serum.
00:22:50I've already seen the right frog serum.
00:22:52If you don't cooperate,
00:22:54we're going to take this frog.
00:23:53Oy, lord.
00:24:17I don't know why
00:24:19you ever pulled Max Hell.
00:24:22My boys are a lot better qualified than he is.
00:24:27I guess it's because he's expendable and they know it.
00:24:41Thanks a lot, Max.
00:24:52Let's go.
00:25:09Commander Armstrong of the 3rd Toad Resistance.
00:25:12Hell, Max, hell. Let's make it perfectly clear.
00:25:15I don't like you. I don't like anything about you.
00:25:18And so?
00:25:20You're a doctor in the serum and I don't care if you live or die.
00:25:24You know me. I'm only in it for the money.
00:25:27Get the hell going.
00:25:51Overlord Wartoad.
00:25:54Greetings from the Frog Alliance.
00:26:03Have you seen him?
00:26:05We spotted him down in the rocks.
00:26:07Is he alone?
00:26:09No, there's a few other agents with him also.
00:26:20To be continued...
00:26:51Overlord Wartoad.
00:26:54Axel, what are you doing in Toadland?
00:26:58I'm on the trail of Dr. Trixie G's formula.
00:27:01It's been stolen.
00:27:04You'll do this without the Master?
00:27:07You were the disciple.
00:27:09I think you can do this on your own.
00:27:13What do you know about killing?
00:27:16For you, it's just for the money.
00:27:21Killing and feeling life's essence flow through your hands.
00:27:27It's power.
00:27:29It's pleasure.
00:27:32For you, it's only money.
00:27:37You're right, Wartoad.
00:27:39Got you, big guy.
00:27:41I'm on the trail.
00:27:47Promise me...
00:27:49you won't cross that line.
00:27:53To us, killing is our lives.
00:27:57It is our art.
00:27:59It is not for money.
00:28:01We do this because that is our life.
00:28:06Understand me?
00:28:17Toadland
00:28:28How's it going, Psycho Toad?
00:28:29Not bad.
00:28:30Have you seen the swamp farmer?
00:28:32He's an old friend.
00:28:33No, I haven't seen him today.
00:28:35Well, what about down that way?
00:28:38Into Frogland?
00:28:39Could be.
00:28:40Think he walked over there?
00:28:42I really don't know.
00:28:43You don't know, huh?
00:28:45Okay, ride well, Psycho Toad.
00:28:47You ride well, myself.
00:29:15What are you doing in his territory?
00:29:26What am I doing here?
00:29:28I'm looking for my gator.
00:29:29My little purple gator.
00:29:31There are no gators here.
00:29:33You haven't seen them?
00:29:35You are in off-limits territory.
00:29:37Once again, I will tell you, you are going to be morphed.
00:29:41There are no gators here.
00:29:43So?
00:29:44You are going to be morphed.
00:29:47You're in Toad Town now.
00:29:50This is not Gator Town.
00:29:52Toad Town.
00:29:53Fred!
00:29:54Peyton!
00:29:55What are you doing to my friend, the swamp farmer?
00:29:57This is a human-restricted area.
00:29:59Do I look like the kind of person to mess with?
00:30:02Now take off!
00:30:08You okay, swamp man?
00:30:11I'm so glad you showed up.
00:30:13They were going to kill me.
00:30:15No problem.
00:30:16Looking for your little buddy, huh?
00:30:18Could you please help me?
00:30:19No problem, let's go find him.
00:30:21Thank you, my friend.
00:30:23Didn't you recognize him?
00:30:25It was Hal.
00:30:26Max Hal.
00:30:27That's right, he's that mercenary.
00:30:29Yeah.
00:30:30Joke's on him.
00:30:32He just crossed over to Frog Town.
00:30:37Sometimes I feel so...
00:30:40normal.
00:30:46But other times...
00:30:50Hey, swamp farmer, good to see you.
00:30:52It's been a long time.
00:30:54Max, it's always good to see you.
00:30:56Yeah, yeah, you're looking very...
00:30:58green.
00:30:59Oh, yes, yes.
00:31:01Hey, lots of green.
00:31:03Yeah, you know, I remember...
00:31:04back in the days before the Frog Wars...
00:31:06back before Mickey O'Malley...
00:31:08unleashed that green plague.
00:31:09I mean, the world...
00:31:11used to be so much more...
00:31:13colorful.
00:31:14Yeah, you're right, Max.
00:31:15Lots of color.
00:31:19Max, but what brings you down here?
00:31:22You know, this is a very dangerous...
00:31:23part of the country here.
00:31:25Yeah, yeah, but I'm on the trail...
00:31:27of Dr. Trixie T.
00:31:30Trixie T?
00:31:33Ah, hey, now I remember.
00:31:35Isn't she the one that developed the serum?
00:31:38Yeah, yeah, the serum that turns...
00:31:39frogs back into humans.
00:31:41That's what I thought.
00:31:43Hey, she was your ex-girlfriend.
00:31:46Yeah, yeah, but that was a long time ago...
00:31:48and that's not the reason I'm after her.
00:31:50You know, with me, Swamp Man...
00:31:52it's all about money.
00:31:54You mean that green stuff?
00:31:56Green money?
00:31:58Max, you haven't changed a bit.
00:32:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:32:10There was a minefield around here.
00:32:12I know there was a minefield around here.
00:32:17I was here somewhere.
00:32:22I remember once...
00:32:25in Frog Nong...
00:32:27a 17-year-old...
00:32:29went out ahead there by the house...
00:32:31hit a mine.
00:32:33Blew everything away. Blew every...
00:32:35Silence.
00:32:37Here's our ally.
00:32:40It's the silence of a stalker.
00:32:43You know...
00:32:45you never forget your first close-in kill.
00:32:49You stick the blade in...
00:32:52and you feel the life essence...
00:32:54flow through your fingertips.
00:32:56There's nothing like it.
00:32:58It's power. It's godlike.
00:33:01You can feel them.
00:33:03You can smell them.
00:33:05Your heartbeat is one.
00:33:07And then you can taste it.
00:33:10You can taste that.
00:33:12And that's what I'm gonna do to this man.
00:33:15We're gonna chase him.
00:33:18We're gonna feed on him.
00:33:21And then I'm gonna cut him up...
00:33:24for what he's created, for what he's done.
00:33:27You know, Commander Armstrong...
00:33:29I keep bumping into all your agents out here in the field.
00:33:32I mean, what's the matter?
00:33:34Isn't one of them good enough?
00:33:36Well, Max, if you spit enough of them against the wall...
00:33:39one of them's bound to stick.
00:33:41Or not.
00:33:45Max, the serum's still down there.
00:33:47You're gonna have to go get it.
00:33:49Why don't you take Agent Spangle with you?
00:33:51I don't think so.
00:33:53There's a bunch of green slimy stuff down there.
00:33:56Yeah, yeah, Banner and I always seem to have a good time...
00:34:00when we're out together.
00:34:02What do you say, Banner?
00:34:04Well, I might miss my pedicure appointment, but whatever.
00:34:09Zzzz...
00:34:11Zzzz...
00:34:13Zzzz...
00:34:15Zzzz...
00:34:17Zzzz...
00:34:19Zzzz...
00:34:21Zzzz...
00:34:23Hey! Floppy!
00:34:25Wake up!
00:34:27Zzzz...
00:34:29Yeah, where you went, Gator?
00:34:31Hey! I was just out back.
00:34:33Yeah.
00:34:34Did we have a guest?
00:34:35Yeah.
00:34:36Who?
00:34:37My good old friend Max was here.
00:34:39Max?
00:34:40Yeah.
00:34:41Oh, hell! I missed him!
00:34:43Well, I told you to stay around.
00:34:45Oh, Max is a great guy.
00:34:47Oh, he's a fantastic guy.
00:34:49Superhero?
00:34:51Oh, of course.
00:34:52Sumerai?
00:34:53Oh, he's the very best.
00:34:54Snappy dresser?
00:34:56Oh, he's a sharp dresser.
00:34:58Oh, he can't have gone too far.
00:35:01Wait a minute.
00:35:03I'm gonna get my skateboard!
00:35:04Hey, wait a minute.
00:35:06Where you up to?
00:35:08I can catch him!
00:35:09No, you stay right here.
00:35:11Let me tell you.
00:35:13There's a lot of frogs out there.
00:35:15Yeah.
00:35:16And they're dangerous.
00:35:17Yeah.
00:35:18And I don't want to lose you.
00:35:19Oh.
00:35:20You see, you're my little buddy.
00:35:21Oh.
00:35:22Now, listen.
00:35:24Okay, you stay here.
00:35:25Okay?
00:35:26All right.
00:35:27Listen to me.
00:35:28All right?
00:35:29All right.
00:35:30I'm gonna go back to sleep for about ten minutes.
00:35:31Then you wake me up.
00:35:32All right.
00:35:33You better stay here.
00:35:35I don't want to lose you.
00:35:36Yeah.
00:35:39Let's see about this.
00:35:45Ah!
00:36:02You were on guard duty.
00:36:05And you let Max Hellwalk right by you.
00:36:10You slimy amphibian.
00:36:15Hmm.
00:36:16I just got hungry.
00:36:21What am I hungry for?
00:36:25What am I hungry for?
00:36:29I know.
00:36:31I know.
00:36:32I know.
00:36:33I know.
00:36:34I know.
00:36:35I know.
00:36:36I know.
00:36:37I know.
00:36:38I know.
00:36:39I know.
00:36:40I know.
00:36:41I know.
00:36:42I know.
00:36:43I know.
00:36:44I know.
00:36:45I know.
00:36:46I know.
00:36:47I know.
00:36:48I know.
00:36:49I know.
00:36:50I know.
00:36:51I know.
00:36:52I know.
00:36:53I know.
00:36:54I know.
00:36:55I know.
00:36:56I know.
00:36:57I know.
00:36:58I know.
00:36:59I know.
00:37:00I know.
00:37:01I know.
00:37:02I know.
00:37:03I know.
00:37:04I know.
00:37:05I know.
00:37:06I know.
00:37:07I know.
00:37:08I know.
00:37:09I know.
00:37:10I know.
00:37:11I know.
00:37:12I know.
00:37:13I know.
00:37:14I know.
00:37:15I know.
00:37:16I know.
00:37:17I know.
00:37:18I know.
00:37:19I know.
00:37:20I know.
00:37:21I know.
00:37:22I know.
00:37:23I know.
00:37:24I know.
00:37:25I know.
00:37:26I know.
00:37:27I know.
00:37:28I know.
00:37:29Hey, Matt.
00:37:30Hey, Spangle.
00:37:31What are you doing out here?
00:37:34Looking for you.
00:37:35Where's Banner?
00:37:36I don't know.
00:37:37Some toad started making eyes at her, and she ran off with him.
00:37:41Figures.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:43No big loss.
00:38:00Wait a minute.
00:38:28Wait a minute, I recognize you.
00:38:31You're Max Hale.
00:38:33You're a legend, a hero.
00:38:35You're on the internet and you have your own page.
00:38:38That's right, but don't spread it around.
00:38:40Right now we're being followed and we gotta pass.
00:38:43Come on, Spangle.
00:38:45Can I help?
00:38:46No, it's too dangerous.
00:38:50♪♪
00:38:54Ah!
00:39:14Good morning, Agent Banner.
00:39:16Morning.
00:39:16Ready to talk?
00:39:18How many more of you are there coming after this serum?
00:39:21Oh, a whole bandwagon or so.
00:39:24Who sent you?
00:39:26Your mother.
00:39:29How much is she paying you?
00:39:30Wait a minute, my mother didn't send you!
00:39:32Who's hired you? Who's your boss?
00:39:36Santa!
00:39:38You think this is funny?
00:39:41Do you have any idea of the amount of torture that I can put you through in here?
00:39:52You got a list?
00:39:56Wow, a real man.
00:40:00Is that the best you've got?
00:40:02You ain't seen nothing yet.
00:40:07You will learn two things from me.
00:40:11Speed and accuracy.
00:40:15Become precision.
00:40:18And with everything we do...
00:40:22We do it precisely.
00:40:24No wasted moment.
00:40:28I can kill with one finger.
00:40:34I can call it death.
00:40:36Or pain.
00:40:40Or a caress.
00:40:42So, my tadpole, learn from me.
00:40:48And I shall teach you.
00:41:01No, I admit to do that.
00:41:04It's all part of the game.
00:41:06It's all part of the game.
00:41:08It's all part of the game.
00:41:09I admit to do that.
00:41:11It's all part...
00:41:17...of the masterpiece.
00:41:19It's all part of the plan.
00:41:20Now we shall consummate...
00:41:27...the ring.
00:41:40Spangle!
00:41:41Banner!
00:41:42What happened to Star?
00:41:43I don't know. What are you doing here?
00:41:45What are you doing here?
00:42:10Help me!
00:42:15I need to borrow your cycle, road toad!
00:42:18Okay, well, I'll borrow it for you next, huh?
00:42:39Hello.
00:43:40You know, things are riveting tonight.
00:43:43Really bother me.
00:43:49So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
00:43:54I don't really care.
00:43:56I just want to get out of here.
00:43:58I don't care.
00:43:59I just want to get out of here.
00:44:01I don't care.
00:44:02I don't care.
00:44:03I don't care.
00:44:04I don't care.
00:44:05I don't care.
00:44:06I don't care.
00:44:07I don't really care.
00:44:10You know...
00:44:12...I've spent many nights up here on the bridge of broken dreams...
00:44:16...staring at the stars...
00:44:18...listening to the frogs.
00:44:21Looks like this is going to be another one of those nights.
00:44:31When you look into the heart of a crystal...
00:44:34...you can see your own soul.
00:44:38Your training is almost complete.
00:44:42As quick as you can.
00:44:44That's...
00:44:46I was ready.
00:44:48Give it back.
00:45:01Hey, Mickey!
00:45:02Mickey!
00:45:03Oh, hell!
00:45:04Hey, Mickey, wake up!
00:45:08What the hell?
00:45:11What the hell is going on here?
00:45:12Meditating again, huh, Mickey?
00:45:14Yes, I was...
00:45:16Boy, we were...
00:45:18...deep in meditation.
00:45:20I can see it.
00:45:21Yes.
00:45:22Yes.
00:45:23So...
00:45:25...what the hell are you doing here?
00:45:26I didn't send for you.
00:45:28I don't know.
00:45:29I don't know.
00:45:30Who might that be?
00:45:32Doctor.
00:45:33It's T.
00:45:34So you think I have this good doctor...
00:45:36...um...
00:45:37...what's one...
00:45:38Doctor, uh, Trixie T.
00:45:39Trixie T.
00:45:40As a matter of fact, I know you have her.
00:45:42Oh, all right.
00:45:43So I do.
00:45:44So what?
00:45:45I kidnapped her fair and square.
00:45:47I took all the chances, all the risks...
00:45:49...and I got her, and that's that.
00:45:51Why did I have to start this?
00:45:54Why couldn't I have just gotten into business with Dad...
00:45:57...worked on the gas station, made a normal wage...
00:46:00...and not been in this...
00:46:02...or just stayed in the marines and...
00:46:04Why couldn't you have stayed in the marines?
00:46:06...worked on North Marine, not been in stupid things like this.
00:46:08Why couldn't I have...
00:46:09Do you mind?
00:46:10I'm trying to do something.
00:46:11Thank you very much.
00:46:13Well, excuse me, Doctor.
00:46:18Maxwell.
00:46:19Forget it.
00:46:20Why did I have to go with him?
00:46:22He's such...
00:46:23Why?
00:46:24Why?
00:46:25Why?
00:46:26Why?
00:46:27Excuse me.
00:46:28What did you just say?
00:46:29Max helped.
00:46:30Um, you know Max?
00:46:32Yeah.
00:46:33He's my partner.
00:46:36Um, excuse me.
00:46:38Max is your partner?
00:46:40Uh, yes, that would be right.
00:46:43I don't think so.
00:46:44I've known Max for a very long time...
00:46:46...and Max always works by himself.
00:46:48All right?
00:46:49That's so cute, but I've known Max for a really long time...
00:46:52...and he is my partner.
00:46:54Um, excuse me.
00:46:55I've known Max for a very long time...
00:46:57Well, I know Max better.
00:46:58I know Max.
00:46:59Max is my partner, and yes, he is.
00:47:01No, he's not.
00:47:02Yes, he is.
00:47:03No, he's not.
00:47:04Yes, he is.
00:47:05No, he's not.
00:47:06Yes, he is.
00:47:07No, he's not.
00:47:08Contract!
00:47:09Give me that.
00:47:12Maxwell and Banner B...
00:47:14...partners in crime on the D and...
00:47:16...ness.
00:47:17Uh, DNA.
00:47:18Thing.
00:47:19Together.
00:47:22All the bloody things.
00:47:24That liar.
00:47:26That inconsiderate asshole.
00:47:29How could I have been so stupid?
00:47:31How could I have been so dumb to go out with him?
00:47:34What was I thinking of?
00:47:35What was I thinking of?
00:47:37What?
00:47:38What a stupid jerk.
00:47:39You went out with Max?
00:47:46You went out with Max?
00:47:50Oh, Max.
00:47:51Do you remember the good old days...
00:47:53...when we used to, like, ride horses...
00:47:55...and we used to steal motorcycles and cars and stuff?
00:47:58I mean, I know you're changing now.
00:48:00I know that you want to get out of that line of business...
00:48:02...and I know you don't want to do that anymore.
00:48:04And, you know, now that I've been working on this formula...
00:48:07...and I think I'm so close to it...
00:48:10...I think I'm going to make quite a bit of money.
00:48:12You know, with all this money, you know...
00:48:14...we could get a house together...
00:48:16...and we could settle down...
00:48:18...and, you know, just start something, you know...
00:48:21...and maybe start a family or something like that.
00:48:24I mean, what do you think?
00:48:26Do you think that could happen?
00:48:29Well, I actually think it's about time that I go see my bookie.
00:48:34What?
00:48:36Where are you going, Max?
00:48:38What do you mean, see your bookie?
00:48:41How could I have been so stupid?
00:48:45You went out with Max?
00:48:49Oh, God.
00:48:51What are you talking about?
00:48:55For bloody sake, what are you doing now?
00:48:58Shh! I'm trying to find a weak spot.
00:49:00A weak spot?
00:49:02Of ten inches of cement, solid cement...
00:49:05...you're going to find a weak spot?
00:49:07I don't think so.
00:49:09Well, if you're a doctor...
00:49:11...why don't you try to find a formula to get us out of here?
00:49:14I'm a scientist, and I do not study...
00:49:16...how to bloody get out of jail cells...
00:49:18...with ten inches of solid cement.
00:49:20It's not quite... Well, who's getting paid here?
00:49:22Isn't Max hiring you to get us out of here?
00:49:24Yes, Max is hiring me.
00:49:26And I have a question for you, then.
00:49:28Oh, please, go ahead.
00:49:30If I can figure out a way to use your head...
00:49:33...can I?
00:49:34Um, do you think it's possible?
00:49:36Do you think you can find a way to use my head?
00:49:38I think I can.
00:49:39Oh, well, that's great.
00:49:41What's your name?
00:49:43Oh!
00:49:44Oh, hell, you're really going to like this.
00:49:49There he is!
00:49:51There he is!
00:49:52Oh, I love you, too.
00:49:54You're just the cutest little thing I've seen in weeks.
00:49:57Max!
00:49:58Oh, Max!
00:50:00Aren't they just the cutest little things you've ever seen in your life?
00:50:03Yeah, I see you found my little stray dog...
00:50:05...my hundred-dollar-a-day banner.
00:50:08Get us out of here right now!
00:50:11I thought I'd give you a little surprise.
00:50:13Yeah, it is a surprise.
00:50:15Let's go talk about this, Mickey.
00:50:17Who do you think you're talking about?
00:50:19Go get him, Piper!
00:50:29Centurion?
00:50:33Sergeant Sheba.
00:50:35What are you doing out here in Toad territory?
00:50:39Can I trust you?
00:50:41Yeah, of course.
00:50:43I'm looking for any of Armstrong's agents.
00:50:46Have you seen anybody around?
00:50:48It's been pretty quiet around here.
00:50:50So there's a mama frog and a baby frog...
00:50:53...and the baby frogs are the mama frogs.
00:50:56I want to grow up to be a big...
00:51:00Max, how'd you get in here?
00:51:02I've got my ways. Now let's go.
00:51:48Let's go.
00:52:18Max!
00:52:48Max!
00:53:06All right, little missy.
00:53:08I think we've carried this little facade long enough, don't you?
00:53:12Am I ever going to get out of here?
00:53:14Not until you give me that formula, little missy.
00:53:17If you can just give it to me, then you're just on your way.
00:53:21Each living creature is an organism.
00:53:24Organisms come in different kinds, which are called species.
00:53:28Should I be writing this down?
00:53:31Sure.
00:53:35Species is a group closely related in similar organisms...
00:53:39...capable of interbreeding with each other.
00:53:41The organisms we see around us are multicellular.
00:53:44That is, the bodies consist of many cells.
00:53:46It is this cell with the property of reproducing with genes...
00:53:49...that is responsible for the evolution of life.
00:53:51Wait a minute.
00:53:55Does this remotely have anything to do with the formula?
00:54:02Did you or did you not ask me for the formula?
00:54:06I have to go from the beginning until the end.
00:54:09If I do not, it's not going to make sense. Do you get it?
00:54:12I'm very sorry. Yes, ma'am.
00:54:15Biology could not and did not become a sophisticated science...
00:54:17...until scientific methods could be applied to the study of adaptation.
00:54:21All living organisms are composed of cells, and that is the cell...
00:54:24...therefore the basic building block of life for the organisms in five kingdoms.
00:54:28Point mutations can generally revert.
00:54:32That is, they can mutate back to the original form.
00:54:36All this is right here. It's all right here.
00:54:39I'll just take this. Thank you very much.
00:54:43You've been a great help.
00:54:47Well, I'll just...
00:54:49I don't think you're going to read it.
00:54:51I'll just look this over at my leisure.
00:54:53In the meantime, perhaps you'd like to go back to your quarters.
00:54:59I need to show you how it works.
00:55:02Would you like me to show you?
00:55:05But I must warn you. Yes?
00:55:07All mutations are rare.
00:55:09And usually the frequency of mutation is lower than one percent...
00:55:13...per ten full genes per DNA application.
00:55:16You get it? I knew that.
00:55:18Fine. All right. Here's the formula.
00:55:20All right. I'm ready.
00:55:21You've got to do exactly what I do.
00:55:23Exactly what you do? That's right.
00:55:24All right. Okay.
00:55:25So you take a T. Take a T.
00:55:27Take a T.
00:55:28And then you... Then you, uh, add a C.
00:55:31Take a C.
00:55:32And then you shake it all up.
00:55:34Shake it all up.
00:55:35No, shake it. Shake it all up.
00:55:37Why are you shaking?
00:55:38And then you get an I.
00:55:40And then you get an I.
00:55:41And then you get a J.
00:55:42And then you twist it.
00:55:43Oh, and you twist. Twist the I?
00:55:45Twist more. Twist. Have you ever done it?
00:55:47I twist. I twist. I twist in the I.
00:55:49Okay.
00:55:50And then you start jumping up and down.
00:55:52Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
00:55:55And you're shaking it all around.
00:55:57Shaking it all around.
00:55:59And then you take an O.
00:56:01And you take it and you start going around.
00:56:04And you jump around.
00:56:06And you turn yourself around.
00:56:08And that's what it's all about.
00:56:11That's what it's all about.
00:56:14I knew it.
00:56:16You're marvelous. Give me a hug.
00:56:19Take them off.
00:56:21No. No.
00:56:22But thank... You're marvelous.
00:56:25You promised. You promised.
00:56:27You promised you'd take these things off.
00:56:29I know I did.
00:56:30You'd take these bloody things off of me right now.
00:56:33Now.
00:56:34I'll take these things off.
00:56:36Right now. Take them off.
00:56:38Okay. I'll just tell you one thing.
00:56:40One thing.
00:56:41Please.
00:56:42What?
00:56:43I lied.
00:56:44Oh, you bloody awful things.
00:56:47I'm tired of getting busted for me.
00:57:04Aah!
00:57:06Yeah!
00:57:33You're late.
00:57:35Give it to me quickly.
00:57:37There's been a slight problem.
00:57:43Don't tell me you're lying.
00:57:46I'm not lying.
00:57:48I'm not lying.
00:57:50I'm not lying.
00:57:52I'm not lying.
00:57:54I'm not lying.
00:57:56I'm not lying.
00:57:58I'm not lying.
00:58:00I'm not lying.
00:58:02Don't tell me you lost it.
00:58:06I lost it.
00:58:08I distinctly told you not to tell me.
00:58:12Well, I told you.
00:58:15Do you have any idea what you've done?
00:58:19You condemned an entire race to a lifetime of eating flies.
00:58:25I'll get it back.
00:58:28You've been hanging around that Max Hell too long.
00:58:32There's one thing you never learned.
00:58:34That speed plus accuracy equals precision.
00:58:38You can't even get one part of that equation right.
00:58:41I'm the best and you know it.
00:58:45I've punished better women than you for far less.
00:58:50Don't you touch me.
00:58:56I'll give you this back and I'll bring back the serum.
00:59:19I'll give you this back and I'll bring back the serum.
00:59:49guitar solo
01:00:20guitar solo
01:00:34screaming
01:00:42So Gloria, what was that that got stolen from you
01:00:45by that toad out there in the wasteland?
01:00:47Dr. Trixie T's toad serum.
01:00:50Trixie T's serum, huh?
01:00:53That's that serum that keeps humans from turning into frogs and stuff.
01:00:58Yeah.
01:01:00You're not looking much greener.
01:01:03Neither are you.
01:01:06But anyway, what were you doing with that serum?
01:01:10I was hired to get it.
01:01:12Hired? Hired by who?
01:01:15By the war toad.
01:01:17War toad? What does the war toad want with it?
01:01:20He's got to protect it. If he doesn't protect it, we're all screwed.
01:01:24Well, it looks like he's not going to get the chance to protect it now.
01:01:28Rub it in, Max. Rub it in.
01:01:32So are you going to help me or what?
01:01:34Help you do what?
01:01:36Help me get it back.
01:01:39What's in it for me?
01:01:41Always, always, always got to be something in it for you.
01:01:4750%.
01:01:49Or...
01:01:53I can pay you back the way I used to.
01:01:57Hmm. I think I'll take the money.
01:02:11Aah!
01:02:34Great, Max.
01:02:36You managed to get your girlfriend to see nothing. The serum stole her.
01:02:40First of all, she's not my girlfriend.
01:02:43And second of all, I had nothing to do with that serum getting stolen.
01:02:47I mean, you're one to talk.
01:02:50You work for that camo-wearing egomaniac who thinks he's going to take over the Earth.
01:02:58At least I have morals, Max. I don't just work for money.
01:03:02Money?
01:03:04Yeah. I suppose there's some more important things in life, but, uh...
01:03:09I just haven't found them yet.
01:03:11You're a whore.
01:03:13And so?
01:03:15I like you.
01:03:22You know, Max, I've known a lot of men.
01:03:27They've always hurt me.
01:03:35A warrior's always searching for his soul.
01:03:38When you make that first kill,
01:03:41you take a life, but you pay for it with the price of your own soul.
01:03:53Commander Armstrong sets up on that bridge of broken dreams and mocks me.
01:04:04No Molly.
01:04:06No Fraugenheimer.
01:04:09But they have done.
01:04:13They've become prey.
01:04:16They need these hands.
01:04:19There's a new tapestry.
01:04:22A new painting yet to be done.
01:04:25I've got a mission.
01:04:29I've been waiting for this one.
01:04:32This is my chance to go back into the very soul.
01:04:37Go back and touch that which always is just beyond me.
01:04:45I'm the warrior again.
01:04:48It's time to become the warrior again.
01:04:52To set aside...
01:05:02I shall prepare my soul.
01:05:33Great, Max.
01:05:35You managed to get your girlfriend kidnapped and the serum stolen.
01:05:38First of all, she's not my girlfriend.
01:05:41And second of all, I had nothing to do with that serum getting stolen.
01:05:46And you're one to talk.
01:05:48You work for that camel-wearing egomaniac
01:05:51who thinks he's going to go out and take over the Earth.
01:05:54Well, at least I have morals, Max, and I just work for money.
01:05:57Money?
01:05:59I suppose there's some more important things in life.
01:06:02But I just haven't found them yet.
01:06:05You're such a whore.
01:06:07And so?
01:06:09Well, I like them.
01:06:17You know, Max, I've known a lot of men.
01:06:23And they've always hurt me.
01:06:26Life begins...
01:06:32with one giant leap.
01:06:36And the signpost ahead
01:06:39reads...
01:06:41Toad Land.
01:06:44If you lived here, you'd be home now.
01:06:51Nice to meet you, Max.
01:06:55Nice going, Max.
01:06:57L.A. demands to get her girlfriend kidnapped.
01:07:00Did you lose her serum, too?
01:07:03First of all, she's not my girlfriend.
01:07:06And second of all,
01:07:08I had nothing to do with that formula getting stolen.
01:07:12I mean, you're one to talk.
01:07:15You work for that camel-wearing egomaniac
01:07:18who thinks he's going to go out and take over the Earth.
01:07:21Hey, I'm working for a noble cause here.
01:07:24Unlike you.
01:07:26You sold out for money.
01:07:28Money?
01:07:30Yeah, I suppose there's some more important things in life
01:07:34than, uh, money.
01:07:36But I just haven't found them yet.
01:07:39You're such a whore, Max.
01:07:41And so?
01:07:43So...
01:07:45I kind of like that.
01:07:52I've known a lot of guys, Max.
01:07:55And they've always hurt me.
01:08:22When a warrior takes a life,
01:08:25he loses his soul for all eternity.
01:08:45Great, Max.
01:08:47You managed to get your girlfriend kidnapped
01:08:49and the serum stolen.
01:08:51First of all, she's not my girlfriend.
01:08:54And second of all,
01:08:56I had nothing to do with that serum getting stolen.
01:08:59I mean, you're one to talk.
01:09:02You work for that camel-wearing egomaniac
01:09:05who thinks he's going to go out and take over the Earth.
01:09:08Hey, I'm working for a noble cause here.
01:09:11Unlike you.
01:09:13You sold out for money.
01:09:15Money?
01:09:17I suppose there's some more important things in life.
01:09:20But I just haven't found them yet.
01:09:23You're a whore.
01:09:25And so?
01:09:27So...
01:09:29I kind of like that.
01:09:40You know, Max...
01:09:42I've known a lot of guys, Max.
01:09:44And they've always hurt me.
01:09:48And I knew I was alive.
01:09:53You never are truly alive...
01:09:58until you feel that moment.
01:10:03And your hands...
01:10:06bring that essence.
01:10:09Taste it.
01:10:11Smell it.
01:10:14Follow up yourself.
01:10:19Paint the canvas.
01:10:23Go for it.
01:10:26Paint.
01:10:44Ah!
01:10:46Ah!
01:10:48Ah!
01:11:13Ah!
01:11:25Oh, Max.
01:11:27Oh, Max, you really do care.
01:11:30Yeah.
01:11:32About the money.
01:11:34Oh!
01:11:36Oh, I see.
01:11:39The green vibration.
01:11:42Oh, yes.
01:11:44Oh!
01:11:46There I am.
01:11:48We're sailing over the rainbow.
01:11:50And it's green.
01:11:52And we're in another land now
01:11:54where all the frogs are people
01:11:56and all the people are frogs and they're green.
01:11:59Oh, look!
01:12:01They're all bowing down to me.
01:12:03Oh, Mr. Mickey O'Malley.
01:12:05I like this very much.
01:12:07Oh, Mr. Mickey.
01:12:09Yes, yes.
01:12:11Hello, hello, there, my little peasant friend.
01:12:13Hello, hello.
01:12:23I, uh...
01:12:26I thought I told you to
01:12:28keep that big sword of yours to yourself.
01:12:31Yeah, well, must have slipped my mind.
01:12:35Yeah, I guess it did.
01:12:38Well, hell, Max, hell.
01:12:41You got my girls,
01:12:43you got my formula,
01:12:45you got everything that ever meant anything to me,
01:12:48so I guess you'll be leaving.
01:12:50I'd actually kill you right now,
01:12:52but, uh, I'm a little pressed for time.
01:12:54Oh, gee, that's too bad.
01:12:56But, hey, look, uh,
01:12:58I mean, if ever you need a job, you give me a call.
01:13:01Yeah, when hell freezes over.
01:13:03When hell freezes over.
01:13:08♪
01:13:38♪
01:13:48♪
01:13:58♪
01:14:08Ulfrey Bullfrog?
01:14:10Let me down.
01:14:12Little Miss Cricket?
01:14:15She left town.
01:14:18The two ninjas?
01:14:20What a couple of jerks.
01:14:23And that, uh,
01:14:25oh, what was his name?
01:14:29It escapes me now.
01:14:31And as a matter of fact, so did he.
01:14:34Escaped and never came back.
01:14:36And then there was that doctor,
01:14:38Little Miss T.
01:14:40Boy, just too complicated.
01:14:44But, you know, I did enjoy that little dance.
01:14:48You know, shake it all about.
01:14:51And I found, really, oh, Great Mystic,
01:14:55that was what it was all about.
01:14:59♪
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