Bader/Lewis/Maule, 1996
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00These five people all claim to be members of the Campbell family, but one of them is not telling the truth.
00:07It's the game that asks you to decide which member of a close-knit clan is actually a relative stranger.
00:13No relation.
00:15And now, here's the host of our show, Mike Rowe.
00:19♪♪
00:25Thank you, Jennifer. Hello once again. I'm Mike. This is No Relation.
00:27And today we have an opportunity to meet the Campbell family and try and figure out which one of them is an imposter.
00:33Now, before the program, the Campbells spent some time with a total stranger,
00:36told that person everything they could think of about themselves,
00:38and now that imposter has assumed the identity of the real 5th Campbell,
00:43who's watching our program backstage, even as we speak.
00:46All that being said, I'm going to ask the Campbell family to introduce themselves to you, starting with Doreen.
00:52Hi, I'm Doreen. I'm a registered nurse, and today I'm head of the family.
00:56Oh, okay.
00:57Hi there. My name is Craig. I'm married to Doreen, and I'm a firefighter.
01:00Mm-hmm.
01:01I'm Dionne. I'm Doreen's youngest sister, and I'm a teacher.
01:05Great.
01:06I'm Dottie. I am Doreen's sister, and I am a public relations manager.
01:10And finally...
01:11My name is Rex. I'm Doreen's brother-in-law, and I'm a marketing instructor.
01:15The Campbell family, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17Sure, give yourselves a hand. Why not? After all, one of them is not telling us the truth,
01:24and that is to be applauded. It is up, in fact, to our celebrities to try and figure out who the culprit is,
01:29and I'm pleased to say that we have an esteemed group with us.
01:32Once again, beginning with a fellow from the Drew Carey Show, and a whole lot more, say hi to Dietrich Bader.
01:42Looking very intuitive today, Dietrich.
01:44I feel very intuitive, actually. You know, I feel like somebody's not going to Mexico today.
01:50We will see. We will find out.
01:54Here is Dawn Lewis, everyone. Say hello to Dawn.
02:02What is new and exciting with you? You've got all sorts of stuff going on.
02:04Wow. Film work, animation work, hopefully going to be doing a new series coming up in the early spring.
02:10Oh, yeah?
02:11Yeah. Life is good. I can't complain.
02:12Well, save some time for us, because you're a good player.
02:14And I've been to Mexico.
02:15You've been to Mexico.
02:17And here's a guy who's been all over the place, as well.
02:19Currently, he can be found on General Hospital, doing whatever doctors do on General Hospital.
02:24This is Brad Mull.
02:25Hello.
02:27Yes, I'm actually ready to make a guess.
02:31Are you? Okay, Brad.
02:32Yeah, I already know, so you can come on over. I'm going to circle my name now.
02:35He's a doctor, and he's that good.
02:37And a psychic.
02:38And a psychic.
02:39Yes.
02:40Great. Well, we don't have a game that requires many rules,
02:42but we did provide each of you with a biography on each Campbell family member,
02:46and you can ask your questions based on information contained therein.
02:49Go off on a tangent, if you would prefer.
02:51Please don't ask any questions that require numbers in the answers. Okay?
02:55We're actors. That'll never happen.
02:56Great.
02:57Campbell family, your rule is even simpler.
02:59Answer their questions as truthfully as possible, all the time. Okay?
03:02It was determined backstage that Dottie would start things off.
03:05So, Dottie, if you will come and sit in the hot seat, I'll ask everybody else to please stand up now.
03:08Make your way through the yellow door, off to our soundproof booth.
03:12And while you do that,
03:13I'll remind the folks at home that no relation is played in two rounds.
03:16In round one, each celebrity has 30 seconds to individually question each family member.
03:20In round two, we bring back all of the Campbells, find out how much they know about each other.
03:25Okay, then.
03:26Dottie, are you comfortable?
03:27Yes. Ready to go.
03:28Good.
03:29Dietrich, you may begin.
03:30Dottie, as a sister, Doreen has really delivered for you as a mother. How so?
03:35She's a nurse, and so she has helped with the delivery of my kids.
03:39Oh.
03:40Why does the letter J apply to all of the kids, all your kids?
03:44My kids are all named with J.
03:46J's John and Jillian.
03:48Oh, I see.
03:49Apparently, you're quite a skier.
03:51Tell us about that broken arm you...
03:54What arm brought you and...
03:56What broken arm brought you and Rex together?
03:59Yeah, sure.
04:00Well, actually, it wasn't my broken arm.
04:02Oh, okay.
04:03More interesting strategy from Dietrich.
04:05Go ahead, Dottie.
04:06How did Rex help you when you were first dating with your career?
04:10How did he help me with my career?
04:12He was... I was teaching a course, a college course, or just about to,
04:16and I didn't really know how to go about developing a syllabus for the course,
04:19and so that was the premise of our first date.
04:22And he was going to show me how to do that.
04:24And what is your career?
04:25I'm a public relations manager.
04:27For?
04:28For a car company.
04:29Which one?
04:30Hyundai.
04:31Ah, cool.
04:32What naughty thing did he get...
04:34Oh, what naughty thing did he...
04:35Ah, what naughty thing did he do to get...
04:37No!
04:39You can't write tongue twister.
04:42Did you say...
04:43Could you ask this question for me?
04:45Add that question.
04:46Forge ahead, Brad, by all means.
04:48No, come on, it's your own business.
04:49When you were first learning to drive, did you ever have trouble finding the brake?
04:53Yes, I did. I, um...
04:55That's enough.
04:57Yeah, well, tell me about when you went golfing with your husband the first time.
05:01When I went golfing?
05:02Yeah, did you golf with your husband?
05:03Um, I do golf with him, but I don't remember the first time.
05:06That's fine, I know enough.
05:07Now, if you smash your finger with a hammer, what do you say?
05:10Ouch.
05:11Okay.
05:12Do the words green goblet mean anything to you?
05:14Not... Well, yes, green goblet does.
05:16What?
05:17Um, when we were younger, we...
05:19Of course, like all kids, you know...
05:21Hmm, one camel down and four to go.
05:23We have a lot more of round one to come.
05:25And when we continue right after this, we'll find out more about a green goblet
05:28and if Dottie's been telling us the truth.
05:30Stick around.
05:40And we are back, everybody.
05:41Welcome. I'm Mike, if you're just joining us.
05:43No relation is right in the middle of the first round.
05:45Our celebrities have been individually questioning each member of the Campbell family.
05:48We've heard from Dottie.
05:49Dion is in the hot seat right now.
05:51Are you ready?
05:52Sure.
05:53Yeah, sure you are.
05:54Okay, Dawn Lewis, we start with you.
05:55Okay, you probably don't want to talk about this, but how old are you?
05:5825.
05:5925. How long have you been married?
06:00Just nine months.
06:01Nine months.
06:02Do you find your name special or are you named after anyone special?
06:06I was named after Dionne Warwick, except that my dad spelled it wrong on the birth certificate,
06:11so I only have one in.
06:14What do you do for a living?
06:15I'm a teacher.
06:16And what classes do you teach?
06:18I teach religion and yearbook, and I do a club for a newspaper.
06:23So, what was your wedding like?
06:25Just a nice, big, Catholic wedding.
06:28A big Catholic wedding.
06:29Okay, basically people on their knees and all that kind of stuff.
06:33And so, what are your hobbies?
06:35Reading, running.
06:38Reading and running.
06:39Okay.
06:40And when you were younger, you flashed your brother-in-law or something?
06:44No.
06:45What did you do?
06:46I was about 12 years old, and since I was so much younger, Craig was kind of like a brother to me,
06:53and I was coming out of the shower and I was wearing a towel.
06:56Please, please, teacher.
06:58Bring it on.
06:59I don't know.
07:00Sounds like an interesting line of questioning, but I'm going to go a different way.
07:03Instead of calling you a mistake, your mother calls you what?
07:06A bonus.
07:07A bonus.
07:08Because I was 10 years later, and people say mistake, and she says,
07:12no, you're not a mistake, you're a bonus.
07:14Oh, that's good.
07:15You spent two months studying in South Bend, Indiana.
07:18What were you studying?
07:19What school did you go to?
07:20I went to Notre Dame.
07:22I went to Notre Dame.
07:23I was in law school, but I hated it, so I came back.
07:27You dropped right out.
07:28Well done.
07:29That's good.
07:30We don't need another lawyer.
07:31So did you enjoy going to another Catholic girls' school, and why?
07:36Yeah.
07:37Well, because she could read and run and flash people, of course.
07:40Thank you so much.
07:41We'll go right to the blue door, and we will welcome in Craig right now.
07:45There he comes, fresh from our soundproof booth.
07:48How are you, sir?
07:49I'm good.
07:50Have a seat.
07:51And let's see.
07:52We pick it up this time with Brad.
07:54What did you think of back draft?
07:56I enjoyed it.
07:57A lot of good fire shots.
07:58Was it real?
07:59Some of it, some of it.
08:01This scene up on the fire truck with the woman wasn't realistic.
08:05Okay.
08:06What happened the time you tried to make a fisherman out of Doreen down in Cabo San Lucas?
08:11We decided to go deep sea fishing, and we got about a mile out,
08:15and she started to get sick.
08:18And for the next four hours, she chummed.
08:22I get it.
08:23Well, you are a fisherman.
08:25All right.
08:26That's nice.
08:27What position did you play in high school on the football team?
08:29I was a running back.
08:30How did you meet Doreen?
08:32We went to the same high school together.
08:34She was a cheerleader.
08:35Oh.
08:36And where were you when you asked Doreen out?
08:39Where was I?
08:40I believe we were at school.
08:42All right.
08:43That makes sense.
08:44What did you do on your first date?
08:46We went to a football game.
08:48Naturally.
08:49Yeah.
08:50Now, you own an embarrassing hair product.
08:54What is that?
08:58Okay.
08:59Good.
09:00All right.
09:01Okay.
09:02Done.
09:03Okay.
09:04You seem like a really nice, mild-mannered kind of guy.
09:06Is that how most people describe you, is kind of patient, mild-mannered?
09:10No.
09:11People tell me I have a – most of the time I'm a real nice guy, but I have a short temper.
09:15A short temper.
09:16Did you ever think of yourself as a hero or do anything while being a firefighter that would qualify you as being a hero?
09:21Yeah.
09:22I've been on a lot of calls where we save people, but one drowning in particular meant a lot to me.
09:27Which one was that?
09:28It was a baby that we pulled out of a swimming pool that had been down for about 20 minutes, and we got the baby back.
09:33Wow.
09:34Wow, Craig.
09:35Thank you so much.
09:36You can go right through the blue door there.
09:37Not to dismiss you after that story, but we've got to make room for Rex,
09:42who is confidently making his way right now to the hot seat.
09:45How are you, Rex?
09:46I'm doing great.
09:47Good.
09:48Let's see.
09:49We go back to Dietrich.
09:50Now, you and Dottie shared a condo the night that you first met.
09:52Is that true?
09:53That's right.
09:54With a bunch of other people.
09:55With a bunch of other people.
09:56Right.
09:57Sounds like quite a party.
09:58You say Dottie is good on the slopes.
10:00Is she better than you?
10:02Yes, and I'm reminded of that and the fact that I'm older than her pretty regularly.
10:06Oh.
10:07How do you spell your last name?
10:09A-O-V-A-C-E-V-I-C-H.
10:14That's great.
10:16Nicely done, Rex.
10:17And your first name?
10:21Go ahead, Dottie.
10:22Okay.
10:24Let's see.
10:25What do you do for a living?
10:26I just finished with different sales and marketing jobs with a bank,
10:31and I'm just getting ready to start a new career as a marketing instructor at a university.
10:35Which one?
10:36USC, University of Southern California.
10:38What are your kids' names?
10:40Jace, John, and Jillian.
10:42Jillian?
10:43Jillian.
10:44Jillian, how do you spell that?
10:46J-I.
10:48It's okay.
10:49I got it.
10:50Okay.
10:51Let's see.
10:52How long have you guys been married?
10:56Tomorrow we'll work on our numbers.
10:58You made Dion blush at a ballpark.
11:00How did you do that?
11:02I had just met their family, and it's a large family,
11:05and we had all gone to a baseball game,
11:07and as we were leaving, we were walking in as a group,
11:10and I thought that Dottie was next to me,
11:12and I reached over to grab her hand, and it turned out to be Dion's hand instead.
11:15She was embarrassed, and then I was embarrassed also.
11:18I was looking like the overly friendly new boyfriend.
11:21And you also fell down one time, and your son said something?
11:26Oh.
11:29I'm sure he did.
11:30Rex, thank you so much.
11:31Straight through the blue door, and our last family member is going to be Doreen,
11:35and here comes Doreen right now.
11:38Hello, Doreen.
11:39Hi.
11:40Everything okay back there in seclusion?
11:42Great music.
11:43Okay, great.
11:44Yeah, just kind of snappy.
11:45Yeah.
11:46Yeah, I hear it in my sleep almost constantly.
11:47It's fabulous.
11:48All right, Dawn.
11:49Okay.
11:50Do you come from a small or a large family?
11:52Large family.
11:53How many?
11:54Six children.
11:55Six kids.
11:57Where did you guys go on your honeymoon?
11:59Acapulco.
12:00Acapulco.
12:01Did Craig go with you?
12:02Yeah.
12:03Okay.
12:04Let's see.
12:05How did you surprise Craig while giving him a massage?
12:08He was behind this curtain, and I walked in and kind of winked at the masseuse,
12:14and she stopped massaging him, and then I just put my hand on his thigh
12:19and watched him freak out.
12:21I have one more question.
12:23What was Dion's wedding like?
12:25It was fun.
12:26But what was it?
12:27Was it big, little, small?
12:28Yeah, it was a big wedding.
12:29Big.
12:30Like what kind of religion are you guys?
12:32We're Catholic.
12:33Okay.
12:34Okay.
12:35You went down in Cabo San Lucas.
12:37Did you enjoy that experience?
12:39Most of it.
12:40What did you not enjoy?
12:43I decided to go on a fishing trip with my husband and four policemen that we had met.
12:50What do the initials RN stand for?
12:52Registered nurse.
12:53Yeah.
12:54What area of nursing do you work in?
12:56Really nauseous.
12:57Okay.
12:59What squad were you a member of when Craig first asked you out?
13:04Cheerleading squad?
13:06Cheerleading squad.
13:07There we go.
13:08What does the phrase Green Goblet mean to you?
13:10My sisters and I, when we were little, we were a Catholic family,
13:15and my mom didn't allow us to cuss or swear at all.
13:18So when we wanted to know if each other was telling the truth,
13:22we had to make up a word for swear.
13:25So we just saw this green goblet that my mom had sitting on the table,
13:28and to this day, if we want to know if the other one's telling the truth, we say it.
13:33Interesting.
13:34All right.
13:35Well, that brings us to an end of round one.
13:36During this next break, I'm going to get together with the Campbells
13:38and say some really bad words, and when they all come back together,
13:40we'll figure out exactly how well they know each other,
13:43and we'll get one step closer to finding out who the imposter is.
13:46Stay with us.
13:52I don't know, Dawn.
13:53The Campbell family seems like a pretty well-rounded bunch here.
13:55Yeah, they seem kind of tight there.
13:57I'm still trying to make up my mind who I think it is.
13:59I'm kind of going with a genetic vibe now, you know, eyes, hair, nose, yeah.
14:04Chromosome things.
14:05The chromosome kind of thing.
14:06Okay.
14:07Well, we'll go from physiology into round two right now and see how that goes.
14:19Here in round two, things are just a little different.
14:21The Campbells are now back en masse on our couch,
14:24and they will be answering questions that our celebrities put to them,
14:26not about themselves, but about each other.
14:29So watch carefully for their reactions.
14:31Be careful, imposter.
14:32This gets a little tricky.
14:33Dietrich, you've got 45 seconds, starting now.
14:36Doreen, who broke their leg skiing?
14:38Dottie.
14:40Craig, what did Diane do at a football game that caused so much trouble?
14:45Dion.
14:47Dion.
14:48Do at a football game.
14:50I don't recall.
14:51Okay.
14:53Dion, where did Rex and Dottie meet?
14:56Skiing.
14:58Rex, what kind of school did Dottie attend?
15:01Catholic school.
15:03Doreen, who had the most photographs taken of them between all of the sisters here?
15:08Dion.
15:11Craig, whose children all begin with J?
15:15That would be Dottie and Rex's.
15:19Dion, what team did Craig play on in high school?
15:23Okay, Dion.
15:24Okay, Rex, why might Doreen say Green Goblet?
15:28I don't know.
15:30Okay.
15:31Doreen, who's the bonus child?
15:34Dion.
15:35Okay.
15:36Craig, what does Dion do for a living?
15:38Dion is a school teacher.
15:40School teacher.
15:41Okay, Dion, who suffered Montezuma's revenge on their honeymoon?
15:45Which of these guys?
15:46Craig.
15:47Craig did?
15:48Okay.
15:49Dottie, which famous performer is Dion named after?
15:53Dion Morwick.
15:54Okay, Rex, what does Dion study for a living?
15:57What does she study for a living?
15:59Mm-hmm.
16:00Yeah.
16:01What does she do for a living?
16:03What does she study for a living?
16:06You're not sure?
16:07No.
16:08Okay, Doreen, who's a paramedic?
16:10Okay, Brad.
16:11Doreen, why could one peg Dion as a bad driver?
16:16Because she had two or three accidents.
16:20Okay, and Craig, who drove through a garage door?
16:23That would have been, I believe, all the girls with the exception of Dion.
16:28All in one car, though.
16:31And Dion, why did Rex accidentally grab of yours at a baseball game and embarrass you?
16:36Oh, he grabbed my hand because he thought I was Dottie.
16:39And, Craig, how old was Dion when she walked in on you naked?
16:45Do you remember that?
16:47I'm sorry?
16:49When she was a child?
16:50Yeah, I walked in on Dion.
16:51She was real little.
16:52How little?
16:53Five, ten, fourteen?
16:55I would say just beginning puberty.
16:57Oh, geez.
16:59We nearly said too much, Craig.
17:01And when we come back, we'll find out what a green goblet is, among other things,
17:04like the real fifth Campbell family member and who the imposter is.
17:08Stay with us. We'll be right back.
17:21Yes, I know what you're thinking.
17:22It's been so exciting up until now.
17:23How could it be more exciting?
17:24Well, you'll see in just a second because we're going to unveil the imposter celebrities.
17:28Have you all cast the appropriate votes?
17:30Absolutely.
17:31You're looking amazingly confident.
17:33Deidre, you especially looking so sure of yourself once again.
17:36Well, you know, hopefully, hopefully this time.
17:38You know, I went with my first instinct because, you know, Rex and Craig screwed up so much,
17:44I decided just to eliminate them right off the bat.
17:47Well, before we find out exactly how your mind works,
17:49I'm going to remind the whole family here that if you manage to fool all three of our celebrities,
17:53we're sending you to Mexico.
17:54And, Jennifer, tell us some more.
17:56It's four days of temptation at Allegra's Diamond Eden Resort in Baja, California, Mexico.
18:02Whatever you're looking for in a vacation, it's all yours.
18:05Allegra Resorts, more places to go, more ways to enjoy them.
18:09And to get you there, AeroCalifornia, the exclusive carrier to Loretto, Mexico, on the Baja Peninsula.
18:15Convenient morning and late afternoon nonstop departures from Los Angeles
18:19with the airline that knows Mexico, AeroCalifornia.
18:22All right.
18:26When we last ended, Deidre was in the middle of explaining exactly how his thought process works.
18:31How did it all wind up?
18:32Well, as I said, Rex and Craig just, you know, they just seemed too off balance.
18:35And I thought, well, they're off balance because they are who they say they are.
18:39So I, you know, I, I, this is what I thought anyway.
18:42So I went with just with my feelings and I chose Dottie.
18:45Feelings, Dottie.
18:46All right.
18:47We have one for Dottie.
18:48What do you think, Dawn?
18:49I think that all of you are really good liars and should get counseling.
18:53But I went with a genetic kind of thing and tried to see which of these things belong together.
18:58And I thought that Dion just did not belong for some reason.
19:01One of these things not like the other.
19:04Yeah.
19:05Okay.
19:06One for Dion.
19:07What do you think, Brad?
19:08Well, you know, I marked mine when they walked out here.
19:10I don't know why.
19:11It was Carnac came to me and I said Dottie.
19:14There's just something about Dottie that just, she's a liar.
19:18All right.
19:19So we have two for Dottie.
19:20We have one for Dion.
19:21And what an irony.
19:23We have the real 5th Campbell behind the door right now waiting to be let in.
19:27I'm going to ask the imposter to please rise and let that person in now.
19:36Ah, very nice, Dawn.
19:39Very nice.
19:40Thank you very much.
19:41Dion, please see who's behind the blue door there so we can meet the real Dion Campbell.
19:46There she is.
19:47Hi there.
19:48Hi.
19:49How are you?
19:50I'm great, thank you.
19:51What is a green goblet?
19:52I don't, I just learned about that story yesterday.
19:55I was so young, but I didn't swear.
19:57They'll bring you up to speed.
19:58Why don't you go join your family.
19:59Let me find out who this person is.
20:01You're not Dion.
20:02What's your name and what do you do?
20:03I'm Lauren Asheville and I'm a property manager.
20:05Well, Lauren Asheville, you did a pretty good job.
20:06Please have a seat right here.
20:07It's a very comfortable stool.
20:08You assumed her identity very nicely.
20:10And as a result, we have managed to fool two out of three of our celebrities.
20:14Couldn't get one past Dawn, though.
20:15We can't send you to Mexico, but we do have some great gifts for you.
20:18And Jennifer will tell us more.
20:19Yes, we do.
20:20Our family members and our imposter have each won Aromavera's aromatic gift crates.
20:25Indulge in the pure enjoyment of essential oil-based personal care products.
20:29Designed to enhance the beauty of daily life from Aromavera.
20:32And Academy Broadway's quality rectangular sleeping bags.
20:35And fire-retardant two-person A-frame tent with carry bag.
20:38Products designed for the great outdoors from Academy Broadway.
20:41And finally, Andre Giraud by Croton.
20:44His or hers micron-plated gold-colored bracelet watch.
20:47Ivory-colored ceramic dials with Roman numeral markers from Croton Watch Company.
20:51Courtesy of No Relation.
20:53So, I want to get back to this.
20:55Now, who was on the boat with four police officers and a fireman?
20:59That was me.
21:00That was you.
21:01You've got to choose your friends a little more carefully here.
21:03That's a rough trip.
21:04You guys, they got two out of three.
21:06Brad, what are you thinking here?
21:07Well, I just think that I'm glad I went to pay for the trip.
21:10Because I would be sending everybody to Mexico.
21:13Everybody goes all the time.
21:14Well, all I can really leave you with for sure is that no matter how well you think you know a family,
21:18you might want to think twice about it.
21:20Never can be too sure.
21:21And one of them turns out to be No Relation.
21:23We'll see you next time.
21:24Congratulations, guys.
21:25Great job.
21:26Very good.
21:28Some of our contestants received a gift certificate from our service merchandise store.
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21:41And Keystone's 35 to 52 millimeter power zoom camera has red eye reduction,
21:46self-timer, fill and auto flash from Keystone Camera Corporation.
21:50♪♪
22:00♪♪