Beyond the Stars: Tracks from Outer Space Vol. 1

the Lost Library of Congress Recordings

Volume 1 of Beyond The Stars: Tracks From Outer Space  for the original songs with transcripts, visit:  Fistful of Meth: https://youtu.be/8944lQBeaF0  When She Farted On My Balls: https://youtu.be/yblk2fwhiX8  Whistlin From My Wiener: https://youtu.be/4Buf3bdJ_zU  I Killed A Man (in Minecraft): https://youtu.be/Xxz5jibv9Bg  The Day That Richard Simmons Died: https://youtu.be/MQePdlaGBso  Don't Interrupt Me While I'm Pooping Ever Again: https://youtu.be/r3advvLZyZA  Be Careful What You Say: https://youtu.be/gJrEkPB622Y  Miss Molly Had A Secret: https://youtu.be/0R0z6vGoyz0  Plenty Of Room In The Right One: https://youtu.be/746G-v1mS-s  She Left Me For My Horse: https://youtu.be/RF7ybJ16ONw  That Ol' Moon Landin': https://youtu.be/dW2TxUInRF8  for more information visit https://lostlibraryofcongress.com

Transcript

00:00I've got a fistful of meth and a song in my heart

00:09Hitched up to a big heavy load

00:12Gonna fire up the pipe and drive it big all night

00:15And smoke until my little heart explodes

00:18Both feet on the throttle as I piss in a bottle

00:21You'll feel it when I come inside your town

00:24Cause no matter what it takes, I'm gonna stay awake

00:27Till the shadow people come and shut me down

00:30Back up the pipe, pull off the brakes

00:33I've been awake now for eight days straight

00:36Smoke it to ashes, drive it to death

00:39When you've got a big truck and a fistful of meth

00:44Well I'm driving 18 wheels and skipping all my meals

00:48I'll conquer every highway in this land

00:51For a speedy arrival, the trick to survival

00:54Is on television, supply on demand

00:57The key to my success, a little meth in every breath

01:00But most of the time the highway is my home

01:03Scraping crystals off the seat and dodging the police

01:06I'm the highest mother trucker ever known

01:09Back up the pipe, pull off the brakes

01:12I've been awake now for eight days straight

01:15Smoke it to ashes, drive it to death

01:18When you've got a big truck and a fistful of meth

01:23Well a lot lizard asked if I'd like to try her ass

01:26All she wanted was a big hock of mustache

01:29I hit her with a tire checker, then she bit me in the pecker

01:33That's when we both agreed I'd pay her cash

01:35You might think I'm a sucker for the life of a trucker

01:38But there never was a life so free

01:41A trucker don't need much, like friends and such

01:44Just puffing on that meth and peddling

01:47Back up the pipe, pull off the brakes

01:50I've been awake now for eight days straight

01:53Smoke it to ashes, drive it to death

01:56When you've got a big truck and a fistful of meth

02:03Back up the pipe, pull off the brakes

02:07I've been awake now for eight days straight

02:10Smoke it to ashes, drive it to death

02:14When you've got a big truck and a fistful of meth

02:20Oh my girl is a keeper, she's such a funny lassie

02:35I get on my knees, give her a squeeze whenever she gets gassy

02:40The first time that she farted so hard it shook the walls

02:45But not as hard as I fell in love when she farted on my balls

02:49Oh my gal is a stinker, could smell her for a mile

02:54She shakes her hips and lets them rip and leaves me with a smile

02:59The second time she farted it rumbled from her guts

03:03But not as deep as I fell in love when she farted on my nuts

03:20Well my gal got excited when she rode into the town

03:31The mayor came to ask her help to keep the heated prices down

03:36The third time that she farted I knew she was top notch

03:40But not as good as I fell in love when she farted on my crotch

03:45Oh my gal's butt's amazing, she just can't keep it shut

03:49So I hooked her butt to a tanker truck and filled the whole thing up

03:54The fourth time that she farted I couldn't help but join

03:58But nothing helped as I fell in love when she farted on my groin

04:15Oh my gal sat upon my face, I couldn't take a breath

04:25Except for what came from her butt and she smothered me to death

04:29The fifth time that she farted, a big enormous drop

04:34But not as big as I fell in love when she farted on my lap

04:38Oh my gal got arrested, they took her ass downtown

04:43She huffed and puffed and did her stuff and blew the jailhouse down

04:47The next time that she farted it smelled like such a funk

04:51But not as bad as I fell in love when she farted on my junk

04:56Well now you know our story, as stinky as it be

05:00Don't ever judge the special love of our fartin' family

05:04The last time that she farted there was no turning back

05:09She turned around and I fell in love when she farted on my sack

05:22I'm a man of many talents, I've seen the whole world wide

05:27But I got a little secret I've been keepin' deep inside

05:31I'm ready now to tell ya, my cover's quite a shot

05:36My latest talent of them all I can whistle from my cock

05:41Whistlin' from my wiener, hummin' from my hog

05:45In perfect pitch for any tune it'll even call the dogs

05:58Well I rode in town one day to see if I could try

06:03To make a little money with my penis by my side

06:07Right then I played a song so sweet it made the town folk cry

06:12They never knew what hit them was my penis lullaby

06:16Whistlin' from my wiener, singin' from my schlong

06:21Whip out my ham, start up a jam and whistle all day long

06:34Well I walked into the tavern with my penis in my hand

06:39To see if I could wham with my penis one man band

06:43Up jumped a gal named Sally, she looked like quite a catch

06:48But threw me down when I heard she could yodel from her snaps

06:53Whistlin' from my wiener, croonin' from my cock

06:57With just a bit of practice maybe I could make it talk

07:01Well the mayor come to see me to congratulate the man

07:06With the magic whistlin' wiener who was loved by all the land

07:11He thanked me for my service to the poor and the needy

07:16Well I rode in town one day to see if I could whistle from my penis

07:21He thanked me for my service to the people of the town

07:25Then he hung a shiny medal right upon my whistlin' wang

07:30Whistlin' from my wiener now that my story's told

07:34Just keep an ear out for me as I'm whistlin' down the road

07:52Well I was workin' on my farm just tillin' out the land

08:02When some three-stop city slicker walked up and shook my hand

08:07Said that he was new in town and movin' it next door

08:12My lonesome little homestead won't be lonely anymore

08:17Well he said his name was Steve, at first he seemed just fine

08:22But the next day I caught that bastard diggin' in my mine

08:26He was diggin' up my diamonds, he was stealin' all my gold

08:31The callous nature of his crimes made my blood run cold

08:36Oh I killed a man in Minecraft, I sent him straight to hell

08:41Set fire to his body, then I kicked him down a well

08:46Oh I killed a man in Minecraft, I did it to be sure

08:50That little thievin' Steven won't be stealin' anymore

08:55Well I tried to be welcoming, but things really got absurd

09:00When I caught him red-handed messin' with my herd

09:04He was killin' all my chickens, he was milkin' all my cows

09:09That's when I knew it's time to take revenge on him somehow

09:14Oh I killed a man in Minecraft, drove my pickaxe through his head

09:19Threw him down a deep dark hole and left him there for dead

09:23I killed a man in Minecraft, I swear I'll do it again

09:28Keep your filthy hands off of my cows, don't touch my fuckin' hens

09:44Well I burned down his house, and I burned down his barn

09:57Set fire to every damn thing on his shitty little farm

10:01I smashed all his fences down just to make things worse

10:06That's when he sat upon me and tried to kill me

10:11Oh I killed a man in Minecraft, I stabbed him in the eyes

10:16Then I stood there laughin' while he rolled around and died

10:21I killed a man in Minecraft, so you better be polite

10:26Every day that he respawns, I kill him every night

10:30They said it was a Christian server, but that didn't stop me from committing murder

10:35I killed a man in Minecraft, and I don't regret a thing

10:47It was a warm summer day in the middle of July

10:53The hero of the fatties, Richard Simmons, took a dive

10:57There was so much going on that day they didn't blink an eye

11:02I wonder what was happening when Richard Simmons died

11:07Oh the day that Richard Simmons died, nobody noticed, nobody cried

11:12No one even cracked a joke about it

11:16They must have been distracted by something else that day

11:21Cause it came and went and never heard about it

11:25It's been ringing in my ears, can't take it anymore

11:30The thought of Richard Simmons layin' dead on the floor

11:35It could have ended differently with just two inches more

11:39But now he ain't sweatin' to the oldies anymore

11:44Oh the day that Richard Simmons died, nobody noticed, nobody cried

11:49No one even cracked a joke about it

11:53They must have been distracted by something else that day

11:58Cause it came and went and never heard about it

12:02When Richard Simmons died, not a kind word was said

12:07They tried to blow a trumpet from the rooftop instead

12:12Never heard a mention of Richard Simmons layin' dead

12:17But I'm prayin' that God blesses every curl upon his head

12:21Oh the day that Richard Simmons died, nobody noticed, nobody cried

12:26No one even cracked a joke about it

12:30They must have been distracted by something else that day

12:35Cause it came and went and never heard about it

12:39There was all sorts of joy when Mr. Simmons came to town

12:44But the losers all got jealous when Richard came around

12:49They took all their shots but failed to take him down

12:53And he helped those lovely ladies to shed some extra pounds

12:58Oh the day that Richard Simmons died, nobody noticed, nobody cried

13:03No one even cracked a joke about it

13:07They must have been distracted by something else that day

13:12Cause it came and went and never heard about it

13:16Oh now that he's gone, I hope you'll sing along

13:22Hatin' Richard Simmons, well you couldn't be more wrong

13:26I really hope you like my little Richard Simmons song

13:30And if they wanna start this fight, I say let's get it on

13:35Oh the day that Richard Simmons died, nobody noticed, nobody cried

13:40No one even cracked a joke about it

13:44They must have been distracted by something else that day

13:49Cause it came and went and never heard about it

14:11I thought I was alone in my happy little home

14:15Sittin' all alone on my cozy little throne

14:19Catchin' up on the news and me textin' all my friends

14:23Cause poopin' time is sacred when the workday ends

14:29As I was sittin' there, heard you runnin' up the stairs

14:33You blasted through the door without a thought or care

14:37That stupid look upon your face as you were standin' there

14:41I just can't bring myself to shit as you smile and stare

14:46Well don't you interrupt me while I'm poopin'

14:49Keep on knockin' but I'll never let you in

14:53And I swear that the next time will surely be the last time

14:57That you'll ever catch me poopin' my friend

15:00That you'll ever catch me poopin' again

15:12When you walked right in, it gave me such a shock

15:28Inconsiderate and selfish, you didn't even knock

15:32I could have been pickin' my nose or inspectin' my cock

15:36I came in here to shit and think, not sit around and talk

15:42Well you barged right in with that stupid little grin

15:46I was halfway through a long turd when the troubles began

15:50You scared me and I clenched it off, I really felt it then

15:53The last half of the log broke off and sunk back in again

15:59Well don't you interrupt me while I'm poopin'

16:03Keep on knockin' but I'll never let you in

16:07And I swear that the next time will surely be the last time

16:10That you'll ever catch me poopin' my friend

16:13That you'll ever catch me poopin' again

16:19You're just lucky I can't reach ya

16:21Cause otherwise I'd teach ya why you never get too close to a poopin' man

16:26No, never get too close to a poopin' man

16:38You might think the worst is over but your problems just began

16:55I'm plopped down on this here toilet, plottin' my revenge

16:58Sure as hell won't forget this, nor can I forgive

17:02Make damn sure you regret this day as long as you live

17:08Well you might be laughin' now but I know just what I'll do

17:12I'll bide my time and wait for you to go and take a poop

17:15I'll pull the fuckin' wifi and turn the lights off too

17:19So you can't even read labels on the bottles of shampoo

17:25Well don't you interrupt me while I'm poopin'

17:28Keep on knockin' but I'll never let you in

17:32And I swear that the next time will surely be the last time

17:35That you'll ever catch me poopin', my friend

17:38That you'll ever catch me poopin' again

17:42No, you'll never catch me poopin' again

17:55Oh, when I was a boy, I'd sing like a fool

17:59The sun was always shinin' and the moon was always full

18:04Singin' about some things that they'd kill me for today

18:08I never thought I'd say this but be careful what you say

18:12Hey! Let me move to the food, I don't mean to be rude

18:17But everything was better than the way it is today

18:21I hate this modern world from the bottom of my heart

18:25But we can't do shit about it so be careful what you say

18:31Oh, when I was a teen, I started noticin'

18:36That promises were nothin' but a carrot on a string

18:41They hangin' in your face to trick you to obey

18:45And if you want a normal life, be careful what you say

18:49Hey! From your house to the cars, the diners and the bars

18:54Oh, everything was nicer than the way it is today

18:58I hate this modern world from the bottom of my heart

19:02But we can't do shit about it so be careful what you say

19:08Oh, when I was a man, I had a little plan

19:13To build a house and family and start farming on my land

19:17But with their little zoning laws, the fuckin' HOA

19:22Came around and shut me down, be careful what you say

19:26Hey! From the boards to the bricks, I don't mean to be a dick

19:31But everything was stronger than the way it is today

19:35I hate this modern world from the bottom of my heart

19:39But we can't do shit about it so be careful what you say

19:45Oh, now that I'm old, my beard's long and gray

19:50But I'm still out here laughin' and enjoyin' my old age

19:54Surrounded by an empire and in advanced decay

19:58It won't be long before it falls, be careful what you say

20:02Hey! From the butts to the tits, now everything is shit

20:07And everything was greater than the way it is today

20:11I hate this modern world from the bottom of my heart

20:15But we can't do shit about it so be careful what you say

20:25Miss Molly had a secret, she'd never tell a soul

20:31But when she started drinkin', she'd let her story roll

20:36She met a charming sailor with a twinkle in his eye

20:42He whispered something funny, but then she'd start to cry

20:49He took her to the boardwalk, they walked along the shore

20:54Miss Molly was a shy one, but the sailor wanted more

20:59The sailor started drinkin' and grabbed her by the ass

21:05He said, I love you, Molly, you're such a sturdy lass

21:10Miss Molly told the sailor, she'd never tell a soul

21:15Miss Molly told the sailor, before you start to bed

21:20Take a look and out she shook a sausage down her leg

21:25The sailor was delighted and jumped out of his seat

21:31Now all he can think about, the size of Molly's me

21:45The sailor was delighted and jumped out of his seat

22:07Now all he can think about, the size of Molly's me

22:16There was a young sailor from Brighton

22:25Who said to his girl, you're a tight one

22:29She replied, bless my soul, you're in the wrong hole

22:33There's plenty of room in the right one

22:37There once was a lady from Deal

22:40Whose vagina was made out of steel

22:44Just to give her a thrill, it took a rotary drill

22:48And an A-20 emery wheel

22:51From the depths of the crimson St. Giles

22:55Came a shriek that resounded for miles

22:59Said the vicar, good gracious, has Father Ignatius

23:03Forgotten the bishop has piles

23:07There once was a vampire named Mabel

23:11Whose menstrual periods were stable

23:14So one week in four she'd slip to the floor

23:18And drink herself under the table

23:22There once was a man from Peru

23:26Who fell asleep in his canoe

23:28While dreaming of fetus

23:30He played with his weenies

23:32And walked off with a handful of cagoo

23:36There once was a hermit named Dave

23:39Who kept a dead whore in his cave

23:43He said, I admit I'm a bit of a shit

23:46But just think of the money I save

Category

Transcript

Recommended