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00:00I told you I'm not here to try out.
00:19I just came to watch you.
00:31I'm the big winner.
00:36Dear Tim and Moby, what is self-esteem and why is it important?
00:41From Julian.
00:43Good question, Julian.
00:45Self-esteem is a measure of how much you like, respect, and believe in yourself.
00:50Without enough of it, you might not pursue the things you want in life.
00:55And when things go wrong, you could have trouble shaking it off.
01:00If you have high self-esteem, you believe in yourself.
01:04Enough to say, try out for the basketball team, even though you might not make it.
01:10Taking chances is part of living a full life.
01:13It lets you stretch yourself, discover new talents, make new friends, and just be happy.
01:20But if your self-esteem is low, risking failure might feel too scary.
01:26Or you might be too worried about what other people will think.
01:29Who knows?
01:30You might be more talented than anyone else on the court.
01:33But your low self-esteem could keep you from ever finding out.
01:37More importantly, being down on yourself like that feels pretty rotten.
01:43Well, no one feels confident in every situation.
01:46And it's totally normal for your self-esteem to rise and fall over time.
01:51Just like the air in a basketball.
01:54But there are definitely ways to keep it at a good level.
01:58One is to spend time with people who care about you and pump you up.
02:02And limit time with people who make you feel bad.
02:05Of course, you can't always control who you're with or how they treat you.
02:10Fortunately, there's plenty you can do on your own to pump up your self-esteem.
02:14Start by practicing self-compassion.
02:18That's being understanding and kind to yourself when you fall short or make a mistake.
02:24Everyone messes up sometimes, so give yourself a break.
02:28Think of what you'd say to a friend in the same situation.
02:32You wouldn't get all picky and critical.
02:34You'd be nice and show how much you care, right?
02:38Oh, stop it. Yes, you would.
02:41So, be a friend like that to yourself.
02:44To do that, you may need to retrain your inner voice.
02:48That's the stream of thoughts and feelings running through your head.
02:51Your inner voice might root for you and back you up when you need it.
02:55You're doing great, kid.
02:57Or...
02:58Ooh, nice air ball, LeBron.
03:01It might be the opposite. Harsh and kind of mean.
03:05If that's true for you, challenge the messages.
03:08And try reframing them in a more positive way.
03:12Ugh, seriously, Cassie? Why are you even trying out?
03:16Now, hold on there, inner voice.
03:19Instead of all the put-downs, how about keep practicing?
03:23And your shooting will get better.
03:25Okay, Mr. Rogers, let me work over here.
03:28But a lot of her shots have been good.
03:30Missing one isn't that big a deal.
03:32Shh, you're gonna get her hopes up.
03:35I'm trying to protect this kid from embarrassing herself.
03:38Well, she's here already.
03:40Might as well help her do her best, right?
03:43Hmm, fine.
03:45Okay, Cassie, just take the shot.
03:48I know you can do it.
03:55See? I told you.
03:57Uh, say what?
03:59Just talking to your inner, uh... never mind.
04:02Challenging your inner voice just takes some effort at first.
04:07You have to pay attention to what it's saying, and then adjust it.
04:11But if you keep at it, it'll start sounding nicer on its own.
04:16Right, you can also change what you see in your head.
04:20Using visualization, or mental images.
04:23These pictures have power, especially when repeated over and over.
04:27Visualizing success can help you believe it,
04:30and then achieve it.
04:34Whether it's making your next shot, or talking to new people at a party.
04:38But the point isn't just to achieve a goal.
04:42It's to build yourself up, so you feel comfortable putting yourself out there.
04:46That'll help you try new things, which is another way to grow your self-esteem.
04:50The more you step out of your comfort zone, the less scary it'll feel.
04:54Things won't always go your way, but you'll realize that's not so terrible.
05:00The sting of disappointment will be less painful, and you'll bounce back faster.
05:06No, the new experiences don't have to be big and scary.
05:10You can build self-esteem by learning new skills in, well, whatever you want, really.
05:16Think of something you enjoy, like a hobby, or a subject in school.
05:20Or a personality trait you're proud of.
05:22Focus more energy on that.
05:24As you gain new skills, you'll feel more capable and better about yourself.
05:28And you'll build up a growth mindset, believing you can always improve with hard work.
05:33It's no coincidence that as we get older, our self-esteem tends to improve.
05:37Because we're always learning more and more.
05:40Even Michael Jordan didn't make the varsity team the first time he tried out.
05:44It took a lot of work and practice for him to become the best in the world.
05:48Kind of like me, with the keytar.
05:51When I first picked it up, I couldn't play a single tune.
05:54But now look at me.
05:58See what I mean?