Greg’s new stand-up comedy special, Greg Fitzsimmons: You Know Me, was recorded on November 18, 2023 at The Comedy Mot | dG1fRV9SWGlBX3dCQm8
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You know, I'm sober, married, monogamous.
00:04The truth is, I want to slam that beer.
00:06I want to have sex with you.
00:08I want to punch you in the face.
00:12Oh, dad, you're so out of it.
00:14Dad, you don't get it.
00:15Dad, you don't know how to download.
00:17It's like, hey, you don't know me, motherfucker.
00:23I have him in gay conversion therapy right now.
00:26He's not gay, but we're trying to flip him
00:28so he can get a job when he graduates.
00:31I walked past some Girl Scouts on the street here yesterday.
00:34Didn't that used to be like one month a year in the spring?
00:38Now it's like year round, everywhere.
00:40These little whores, they are.
00:42See if that makes it special or not.
00:44We're not sure though.