This video was uploaded from Warner Bros. International.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Tonight on Supernanny, Jo takes on her toughest kid ever, and the most defiant mom she's ever seen.
00:13When he bites me I want to beat his ass.
00:15Mom's son spits, kicks, punches, curses, and blows snot at anyone in his path.
00:24Do not hit me.
00:25He's so aggressive he's been kicked out of two schools and he's only three years old.
00:29Do not throw it.
00:31Mom's got a chip on her shoulder.
00:33Come here, I'm talking to you.
00:34And can barely contain her own anger.
00:36I don't get help from anybody. Anything I need or I want I get myself.
00:40Can Jo convince this single mom to get with the program?
00:43You've only given him 50% and then you didn't follow through on anything.
00:46And help her get her wild kid under control.
00:49You do not bite your mother.
00:52Or will mom go down for the count?
00:59So I'm in Reno ready to help a single parent who desperately needs my help.
01:15So we better take a look.
01:16Hi, we're the McKinney family.
01:18I'm Ashley McKinney.
01:20I am a single mom. I have two kids.
01:22Kayla who's six and Caden who's three.
01:25I am a bank teller and a full-time student.
01:28Don't put it back in front of you.
01:30Do not laugh at him, Kayla. That's not funny.
01:32Oh boy.
01:36Caden is the most energetic kid I have ever met.
01:40Ow!
01:42Stop it right now.
01:44Caden, do not play in that.
01:46He will kick, scream, throw things, hit.
01:52Mom!
01:54Stop hitting me. You're hurting me, Caden.
01:56No!
01:58Look at this behavior.
02:00Why is this mom not doing anything about this?
02:02I've tried time out. He'll just run back out.
02:06Get down from there right now.
02:08You need to ask if you want something up there.
02:10Kayla likes to be very defiant.
02:15Doing unruly things to get my attention.
02:18Do not go in that bathroom, Kayla.
02:21Unlock the door now.
02:23You don't play with your food or hit me.
02:26That should not be happening.
02:29A lot of their behaviors make me feel very disrespected.
02:33Do not spit on me.
02:39Get your hands out of the toilet.
02:41Being a single mom is a full-time job in itself.
02:44The fact that I work and go to school on top of that, it's overload.
02:48I'm going to do my homework. It's seriously way past your bedtime.
02:52Go get back in bed.
02:55Most of the time at bedtime I give in to get them to calm down.
02:58That way I can shift gears and do my homework.
03:01It's too late. How are they getting enough sleep?
03:05Supernanny, I'm a single mom. I'm working 18-hour days.
03:09I'm exhausted. I need your help.
03:11Well, I'll be there as soon as possible.
03:22Hello. Hi. How are you?
03:25I'm Ashley. Nice to meet you.
03:27Hi. Nice to meet you.
03:29Jojo. Can you come say hi, Kayden?
03:32I think he wants to show me his bottom instead.
03:35I couldn't have been really in the doorway for more than five minutes
03:39when Kayden started to kick off and behave extremely naughty.
03:44You're going to fall, Kayden.
03:46No, you're not going to climb on the television.
03:49You're going to fall. That's what you're going to do.
03:52No, I'm not. No, you need to not climb.
03:57No one's going to play with you, Kayden, when you're being angry.
04:02We're not going to play with you when you're like this.
04:05Do not bite me. You don't bite. That hurts.
04:09He bit her in her private area. It's just crazy.
04:13He just bit me. He's trying to bite you in your groin area.
04:17Yeah. You don't bite. We're going to go sit down.
04:20I'm going to pee my pants.
04:22Do not pee your pants.
04:24Don't pee his pants. Don't pee your pants.
04:27You are in big trouble.
04:29It's not funny. I can't believe you did that, Kayden.
04:32That was really bad.
04:34I mean, this little boy's behaviour is appalling, to say the least.
04:39No biting. Please do not bite.
04:42I mean, you couldn't get any worse, really, than what's happening here.
04:45Don't you want to go play? No, you don't bite.
04:48I'm going to take a bath. No, we're not going to take a bath.
04:51After Mum cleaned up Kayden, I had a chance to speak to her.
04:54So the first time you started to notice
04:57that he was becoming more challenging was at how old?
05:00How old was he?
05:02About 15 months he started, just, you know, acting out.
05:05But at about three, the beginning of this year, it just really started.
05:10So at school they'd noticed this behaviour?
05:12Yeah, he was taken out of two schools.
05:14Right, two schools for his aggressive behaviour? Mm-hm.
05:17This is a young boy who's been kicked out of two schools,
05:20and he's only three years old.
05:22I mean, what kind of a future does Kayden have
05:24if somebody is not going to understand this picture
05:27and realise that they can change this for him?
05:29Are you going to colour your picture?
05:31Mum decided that she would leave Kayden alone
05:34and quietly colour with Kayla.
05:36However, Kayden decided he would not be ignored.
05:40That's mine!
05:42It's gone now. You do not hit people with your toys.
05:44That's a weapon.
05:46Mum took away the toy, but she didn't put Kayden through any discipline.
05:49And as a result, he came back more aggressive.
05:51You are pulling my hair out. Stop it right now.
05:54No, you have lost the toy.
05:58You are not playing with that toy.
06:02Are you tired?
06:04Why are you hurting me? Stop.
06:06Because I want that back!
06:08But you're not going to get it back because you're hurting me.
06:11This boy is so angry and aggressive with his behaviour
06:14that a warning is not going to be effective for him.
06:17He's going to need a one-strike-and-you're-out,
06:19which is a technique that's going to help him cool down first
06:23so we can defuse all of this anger.
06:30We had been in the house for quite a while that afternoon,
06:32and so I suggested to Mum that it might be a nice idea
06:35if we just got some fresh air and took the kids out to a playground.
06:38Grab my coat then.
06:40However, we hadn't all got outside the front door
06:42before the kids had run down the stairs.
06:46Kaden, stop.
06:48Mum was hollering out at them to stop,
06:50and then Kaden decided to run across the street.
06:53Wait!
06:54They're not listening to her, they don't respect her,
06:57they don't do anything that's asked of them.
07:00Kaden, don't throw it.
07:02Kaden, don't pick up rocks. Put that down.
07:05OK, we're done playing now,
07:07because you could hit another kid with a rock.
07:09Kaden, come on.
07:14Kaden, there's a car right there.
07:17How is Mum really feeling like she's managing these kids
07:20when they're just running off?
07:22But even once Mum got him inside,
07:24the safety latch is broken on the door,
07:26and so he just ran out again.
07:30It's a really tough job for a lot of single parents
07:33to raise their families on their own,
07:35and discipline can be very challenging,
07:37and that's why I'm here, to help her.
07:42Coming up on Supernanny...
07:44I'm going to poop in your face right now.
07:46..Kaden gets in Mum's face...
07:48I'm spitting at you.
07:50..and Jo gets tough on Mum.
07:53You obviously think it's OK to be down the gym at 8 o'clock
07:56when really your kids should be in bed.
07:58I mean, how did you justify that to yourself?
08:01When Supernanny returns.
08:08I don't want that one. I don't want it like this, Mum.
08:12Mum had prepared the children food and sat down with them,
08:16and out of the blue, Kaden just threw food.
08:21It's on your eyebrow. Is it?
08:23Mum was laughing at his behaviour.
08:26Really?
08:28I decided to go and talk to Kaden
08:30to see if he's even aware of his behaviour
08:32and how that affects his behaviour.
08:35And how that affects his mother.
08:37You know, earlier on, when you was eating at the table...
08:40Yeah. Yeah.
08:41..and you got your sandwich and you threw it at Mummy,
08:44do you think Mummy was happy or sad about that?
08:46Um, mad.
08:48You think she was mad. Right.
08:51Is that naughty behaviour or not naughty behaviour,
08:54to throw your sandwich?
08:55Um, naughty behaviour.
08:57How do you know it's naughty?
08:59Um, I know it's naughty because my mum was...
09:05..mad at me, so that's why.
09:08Right.
09:09Was you happy when you threw the sandwich,
09:11or was you sad or was you mad?
09:13Sad.
09:14You were sad when you threw the sandwich?
09:17What was you sad about?
09:18I was sad about because my mum was being mean to me.
09:23Oh.
09:24This boy's behaviour is impulsive and he becomes very angry,
09:28but he does know the difference between right and wrong.
09:31I can't help but feel sorry for him.
09:33You know, who's helping this little boy
09:35so that he can learn to behave differently?
09:42Put these shoes on so we can go to the gym.
09:44No!
09:45In the evening, Mum told me that she was picking up her friend
09:48to go into the gym where they were going to have a workout.
09:52This is something that Mum does most nights of the week.
09:55We usually go from six to eight. Yeah.
09:57Kids' club closes at eight.
09:58And I think I just stared at her face like, are you sure?
10:01But off they went.
10:02Come on. Come on, kid.
10:04No, no, no, no running, Kaden.
10:06It's nice to be able to go to the gym.
10:08The kids can play and I just need some time for myself.
10:12Mum!
10:13So how long will they be in here now?
10:15Usually about an hour. We work out.
10:17This is bath time now. This is the bedtime routine.
10:20And now you're going off down to the gym
10:22and the kids are going to now be stirred up and riled up.
10:26I know that Mum gets really stressed out being a single parent
10:29and so going to the gym helps her to release that and keep her fit.
10:33But at that time of the night, with your kids, keeping them up all hours.
10:37The fact is, Mum could get a DVD, get some weights
10:40to use in the house once these kids were in bed.
10:44Kaden! Kayla!
10:46By the time Mum finished working out in the gym,
10:49Kaden was totally riled up.
10:51And poor old Kayla, I mean, she was just bored stiff.
10:54I mean, let's face it, Kayla hasn't had any attention all day.
10:57Does Mummy spend a lot of time having to chase Kaden
11:01and be with Kaden all the time?
11:03Do you get much time with Mummy?
11:05No.
11:07Poop! I want to poop in your face right now.
11:10OK, come on.
11:12We leave the gym and he's kicking off.
11:16Rubbing like you.
11:18Stop it right now, that's not funny.
11:20Stop!
11:22And no doubt, he's kicking off.
11:24He's hungry, he's tired, yet he's got second winds.
11:30I think we've got trouble brewing when I get back home.
11:37Kayla, do you want these ones?
11:39Kaden, look, don't hit your sister.
11:41Back at home, Mum had to get two cranky kids ready to go.
11:45Back at home, Mum had to get two cranky kids ready for dinner
11:49and then bath time.
11:51Kaden, stop it right now.
11:53There's brain too much.
11:55There's brain too much.
11:57It must have been around 9 o'clock
11:59before Mum even got the kids into their bedrooms.
12:01It's just too late.
12:03It's mine, it's Mummy's.
12:05It's mine.
12:07And then Kayla decided that she would get some of her mum's attention today
12:12by kicking off.
12:14Kayla, get in your bed.
12:16No!
12:18Kaden was acting out and she fed into it
12:20and then they both ganged up on me.
12:22Stop.
12:24No!
12:26Leave me alone.
12:30Mum hadn't put anything in place to wind these kids down.
12:34No stories, no cuddles.
12:36I think she'd just run out of steam
12:38and she was like, just get to bed.
12:40Like, I'm over this, I'm done with this.
12:42It's 9.30, this is the last time.
12:44Turn the TV on.
12:46I'm going to turn it on and I'm going to shut the door.
12:54So basically the TV's on
12:56and hopefully they'll fall asleep.
12:58That's your hope, right?
13:00Yeah.
13:02Good thing I didn't stay long at the gym.
13:04And Mum's laughing.
13:06Not funny.
13:08You came home early from the gym tonight.
13:10As per usual, your kids wouldn't have been in bed
13:12till, like, 20 to 11.
13:14At the earliest.
13:16Mum wasn't understanding the whole picture.
13:18I mean, this woman needs a routine.
13:20You just can't pick your kids up
13:22and run them around everywhere
13:24that's convenient for yourself
13:26and not have any consistent meal times
13:28or bed times.
13:30So now you're going to do your studies
13:32for your degree?
13:34Yeah.
13:36Hopefully.
13:38No.
13:40Kaden, no.
13:42No, do not throw it.
13:48Do not hit me.
13:50There's been so much aggression.
13:52So much.
13:54And if Mum doesn't get on board
13:56to change these circumstances
13:58for her children,
14:00then there's not going to be much hope for them.
14:02Well, it is late
14:04and tomorrow morning
14:06we are going to need to sit down
14:08and have a family meeting
14:10because there's much to be discussed.
14:12I've seen so much today.
14:14It's very clear for me
14:16what needs to be done in this house.
14:26Hello. Hi.
14:28Let's talk about
14:30behaviour.
14:32It's appalling.
14:34When I walk into a house and I see
14:36children exhibit the kind of behaviour
14:38that I see Kaden show
14:40with his punching
14:42and biting
14:44and spitting.
14:46I know I'm looking at a child who's broke
14:48who's screaming out for help
14:50but you laugh.
14:52You laugh at that behaviour.
14:54It's not funny.
14:56I guess if I'm laughing
14:58I'm laughing at myself in disbelief
15:00like, oh my God, did this really
15:02just happen? Are you kidding me right now?
15:04Are you going to be the family that I switch
15:06on the television and see
15:08that another young boy is now stealing
15:10out of shops, is now battering
15:12his wife?
15:14He's now inside
15:16and doing time?
15:18When are you going to stop laughing
15:20so that you can change it?
15:22I realise that that's where I am now.
15:24I'm like, I've got to
15:26change it.
15:28Let's talk about bedtime.
15:30Bedtime was a joke.
15:32The kids run hoops around you.
15:34I guess I just accepted
15:36that eventually they'll go to sleep.
15:38The kids weren't listening to you.
15:40You put the telly on. It's lazy.
15:42What about you sitting down with your kids and reading them a bedtime
15:44story? What time do they get from you?
15:46I don't know. Nothing.
15:48You're there but you're not giving them anything.
15:50I mean, what are you thinking?
15:52I don't know.
15:54Well, you're going to have to start thinking.
15:56The next thing
15:58I want to talk to you about is the safety
16:00in the home. We're seeing
16:02Caden running out of the house and yet
16:04you don't have a lock that's secure.
16:06Yeah, he broke it. There's got to be some
16:08measure of safety where you start
16:10to realise, I need to make sure that I've got
16:12locks. I've got to make sure that the house is
16:14secure over night time. Don't you think
16:16it's a bit lazy that you haven't just put a lock on that door?
16:18I mean, it's your
16:20responsibility to look after your two children.
16:24Routine is major
16:26in this house because you don't
16:28have a game plan.
16:30I've tried to set up routine.
16:32It just... I'm not buying
16:34the word try and I really cannot
16:36let you off the hook because you're
16:38a single parent raising two kids.
16:40You obviously think it's okay to be down
16:42the gym at 8 o'clock when really your
16:44kids should be in bed. What part of that
16:46is okay?
16:48I mean, how did you justify that to yourself?
16:50I'm curious. You know, working
16:52all day long. If I don't go to
16:54the gym, I don't have the energy
16:56to keep up with them.
16:58I understand that keeping healthy is an important
17:00part of you being able to give back.
17:02I understand that. But you have two
17:04children who need to have established
17:06sleep patterns. Right.
17:08I expect 100%
17:10of your focus,
17:12of your attention
17:14and your intent to make change.
17:16So, are you still on board?
17:18Of course. Okay. Thank you.
17:24Coming up on Supernanny...
17:26Give me the stick and go to your room.
17:28Kayden puts up a fight.
17:30Kayden.
17:32And Mom lashes out at Joe.
17:34I don't get help from anybody.
17:36Anything I f***ing need or I want, I get myself.
17:38When Supernanny
17:40returns.
17:42I've seen this working mum
17:44raise her kids with no structure.
17:46So, the first port of business for me
17:48is putting in a routine that will
17:50help this family. What does it
17:52say, Mummy? The McKinney Family
17:54Routine. A well-thought-out
17:56routine is going to give these kids
17:58daily stability.
18:00And certainly, everybody's going to get some sleep.
18:02What's a McKinney Family Routine?
18:04A McKinney Family Routine is
18:06a routine that's designed to help
18:08these kids get some sleep.
18:10And certainly, everybody's going to get some sleep.
18:12What time, ideally, do you think
18:14that these kids should be in bed?
18:16Um, 8 o'clock. This is our schedule.
18:18This is what we're going to do every day.
18:20So that way, the kids' needs are met
18:22and they're not always wondering what's going to happen
18:24next.
18:26After we'd finished
18:28doing the routine, Kayden
18:30decided to pick up one of Mum's photo frames
18:32and throw it. And that was
18:34a perfect opportunity for me
18:36to kick in with a cool-down technique.
18:38Contact communication will be clear.
18:40Kayden, can you please not throw Mummy's things
18:42or spit at me? That's not okay.
18:44I'm looking for your low-tone voice.
18:46Kayden, when you spit at Mummy...
18:48You're not talking to him. Hold him straight.
18:50Kayden...
18:52That's not okay to blow your nose.
18:54Stop it!
18:56Use a firmer voice. That's your conversational voice.
18:58Kayden.
19:00Are you kidding me right now?
19:02Wow. This kid just punched
19:04his mum in the nose.
19:06Kayden is no way ready
19:08for the time-out technique. What we've got
19:10to do here is to first put in place
19:12a zero-tolerance
19:14from Kayden so that he knows
19:16this will not be accepted.
19:18He will go to your room. He needs to know
19:20that every time he is aggressive,
19:22Kayden will be placed into his own
19:24room to calm down
19:26and then to come out
19:28and apologise for that behaviour. And when you've
19:30calmed down, then you can
19:32come out of your room.
19:34A few minutes later,
19:36Kayden came out as if nothing
19:38was wrong and Mum was acting the same.
19:40What's going on here, Mum?
19:42I have no idea. My nose hurts.
19:44I don't care about your nose right now.
19:46You've got a young boy right now.
19:48No! Get in the room.
19:50The idea is to diffuse
19:52Kayden's behaviour,
19:54not feed into it.
19:56And tell him why.
19:58Kayden, you are not coming out of your room because you're hitting me
20:00and you will not come out until you're done.
20:02Okay, move out, Mum. Move out.
20:04It's what I call the one strike and you're out.
20:06You don't get any chances. You don't get any warnings.
20:08We'll stay here until you're ready to be nice.
20:10And then Kayden got defiant
20:12and took his clothes off.
20:16It was pretty frustrating
20:18to keep dragging him back and forth to his room.
20:20He was still testing me
20:22to see if I was for real or not.
20:26The saga continues.
20:28He's coming out and Mum's putting him back.
20:30It's going to be important that she stays on track
20:32and follows through.
20:38Eventually, we did see Kayden
20:40calm down and he came out of his room.
20:42When Kayden came out with his clothes on,
20:44apologising, it made me feel hopeful
20:46that this is going to work as long as I stay consistent.
20:50Hugs and kisses.
20:54It was the first sign of success.
20:56He cut it, Mum!
20:58He's cutting it!
21:00Because Kayden's behaviour
21:02gets all of his mum's attention,
21:04Kayla decides that she'll
21:06behave that way to get some of it as well.
21:08The problem is she uses her brother as bait.
21:12Give me my ball back, please.
21:14No.
21:16Give me my ball back, Mum.
21:22What's happening?
21:24Why is he so angry? Hold on a minute.
21:26I asked to smack my ball
21:28and he said no.
21:30And then what did you do?
21:32He smacked me!
21:34This whole cycle has got out of hand.
21:36It's bad enough that Kayden's kicking off
21:38and now Kayla is piping in.
21:40I need to just talk to Mum.
21:42Every time she instigates
21:44and he's left there like this,
21:46as if he was the culprit,
21:48she needs to go into timeout.
21:50And what we will do is a proper timeout for her.
21:52So she will sit in a timeout for six minutes.
21:54Just here, all right, where she's going to sit down.
21:56No.
21:58You're going to explain why.
22:00You're going to explain why.
22:02And then you're going to walk away.
22:04Kayla didn't respond well at all to being put in timeout.
22:06She kicked,
22:08was defiant, pitched a full-blown fit.
22:10You are going to sit here
22:12for six minutes.
22:14No!
22:16Yes, you will.
22:18If she walks away, you'll bring her straight back here.
22:20Every time you walk away, I will keep coming back and getting you.
22:22No talking to her now, please.
22:24Just set the timer.
22:26As she moves, she'll come straight back there again for six minutes.
22:28I was kind of skeptical.
22:30I was like, is this really going to work?
22:36Finally, Kayla stayed put for six minutes
22:38and Mum finished the timeout.
22:40Your six minutes is over
22:42and you are in timeout because of your behaviour.
22:44I want you to apologise for your behaviour right now.
22:46Sorry for hitting Kayla.
22:48And what about
22:50your behaviour towards me?
22:52That's unacceptable.
22:54Sorry for breaking the rules
22:56and hitting you and running off.
22:58OK, can I have a hug?
23:00Now we've established discipline
23:02that's different for each child,
23:04I can move forward with some more techniques.
23:06Good follow-through, Ashley.
23:08But I don't know if Mum's on board.
23:14What's all this with the safety latch broken on the door
23:16so that Caden can just run out when he wants to?
23:18Caden, there's a car right there.
23:20There are cupboards
23:22that have got cleaning chemicals in them
23:24that do need to be locked up.
23:26Mum really needs to get handy, let's face it.
23:28OK, there's your tools, literally.
23:30OK, strap them on.
23:32I'm thinking, what am I supposed to do with this?
23:34This is what men are for.
23:36Despite Mum's qualms,
23:38she did manage to put the safety latch on the door.
23:40Voila.
23:42I mean, common sense, really,
23:44just to put a lock on that door.
23:46And then Mum had to put some safety locks on the cabinets,
23:48and you could see that she was just losing patience.
23:50I mean, she wasn't up for it at all.
23:52How's it going?
23:54I'm over this, cos I'm going to have to pay for this apartment
23:56if I put any more holes in it.
23:58I'm not getting my deposit back, that's for sure.
24:00I was just annoyed to have to put that stuff up.
24:02I mean, is this why I call a super nanny?
24:04I couldn't really see the point.
24:08Caden, what are you doing?
24:10Mum, you need to take care of that.
24:12Yeah.
24:14Give me the stick and go to your room.
24:16No, no, no, no, come here first
24:18and explain to him
24:20why you have put these on the door
24:22and the importance of him listening.
24:24I put these on the door so you don't go outside.
24:26Eye contact, come down to his level
24:28and be really firm with him.
24:30Stop. You will not bite me.
24:32Do you hear me? Stop. Right now.
24:34Mum clearly wasn't up for doing any discipline.
24:36I mean, she was losing patience,
24:38so I decided to step in.
24:40You do not bite your mother.
24:42You took the safety handle off the door.
24:44Now you will go straight to your room
24:46for that behaviour, right now.
24:50After I placed Caden into his bedroom,
24:52I came back out to find out what was going on with Mum.
24:54I feel like it's hopeless.
24:56It's pointless. He's never going to listen to me.
24:58No matter what I try, nothing works.
25:00But you didn't try nothing.
25:02You're expecting him to get it after a few tries and get it
25:04when you've not even delivered 100%.
25:06You've only given him 50%
25:08and then you didn't follow through on anything.
25:10Has she got mad?
25:12Come here. I'm talking to you. Ashley.
25:14Where are your clothes?
25:16Excuse me. Excuse me.
25:18Where are your clothes?
25:20Excuse me. Ashley. Ashley. Let's deal with that in a minute.
25:22I just ushered her into her bedroom.
25:24Out came the real Ashley.
25:26Swearing like a sailor.
25:28I don't get help from anybody.
25:30So anything I put my mind to, I get for my kids.
25:32They need shoes, I get them for them.
25:34Not their dad, not welfare.
25:36Anything I need or I want, I get myself.
25:41Coming up on Supernanny.
25:43I take pride in everything that I work hard for.
25:45And when my kids destroy, it pisses me off.
25:48Jo tries to bring mom back on board.
25:50You need to hold rank in your home.
25:52And it's another blow up at bedtime.
25:55I wish you guys were dead.
25:58When Supernanny returns.
26:01Mom just doesn't seem committed
26:03to the hard work to change these kids' behavior.
26:06And when I bluntly told her,
26:08oh, she didn't like it.
26:10Come here. I'm talking to you. Ashley.
26:12And she let off.
26:14I saw the most emotion I've ever seen from her.
26:17And the more I remained quiet, the more she talked.
26:20I take pride in everything that I work hard for.
26:22And when my kids destroy, it pisses me off.
26:25I wish you guys were dead.
26:28I take pride in everything that I work hard for.
26:30And when my kids destroy, it pisses me off.
26:33My friends say you should beat that kid.
26:35And he would stop.
26:36I'm not going to beat my kid.
26:38But when he bites me, I want to beat his ass.
26:41And that's why I shut down.
26:43That's my way of regaining control for a moment of myself.
26:50Hello, Ashley.
26:52I'm Jo.
26:54Hi.
26:55Pleased to meet you.
26:56Because today, I feel it's the first time that I've really got to know you.
27:01This is the first day that really you've let me in.
27:04I applaud you for recognising that you are not going to be physical with him
27:09because it's abuse.
27:11But you need to hold rank in your home.
27:13Your children need consistency.
27:16Consistency is everything that brings you to success.
27:21It's what these kids need.
27:23They need to know that through thick and thin, you will be there.
27:26And it will change.
27:28So we can crack this and get out there and work.
27:30No, I've met the real Ashley. I'm hoping we can get some work done.
27:38The next thing to deal with was the kids' bedtime.
27:41These kids are always riled up and they never want to sleep.
27:45Tonight, we're doing things differently.
27:47I want to read this.
27:48Okay, you can help me with the pages.
27:50I wanted Mum to create a space where these kids could just wind down before bedtime.
27:55A place where she could just cuddle up with her children and read stories.
27:59What does it say?
28:00That was from Kayla on your first birthday. Love, Grandma Retta.
28:04With Mum being more loving and more nurturing at bedtime,
28:07it's going to really help.
28:09And it's going to bring them closer together as a family as well.
28:13I haven't been reading enough with my kids.
28:15It was just like, wow, I need to do this every day.
28:18Let's do that book again.
28:20And then I needed to teach Mum how to keep these kids in bed
28:23so that everybody could get a good night's sleep.
28:25We're going to do the stay-in-bed technique.
28:27When you've given the children a kiss goodnight,
28:30if they come out of their bedroom, you will tell them,
28:33it's bedtime, darling.
28:35You will take them back into their bedrooms.
28:37The second time they come out, you will say, bedtime.
28:41And the third time they come out, you'll say nothing.
28:45There will be no communication.
28:47You'll place them back into their beds.
28:50The three steps, I was just like, oh, my God, is this going to work?
28:53Because it seems so simple. I was kind of skeptical.
28:56Come on, let's go get in our beds.
28:58It's bedtime.
29:00Come on, Kayla, we're going to go get in your bed.
29:02Kayla, you're a big girl. Get in. I'm going to tuck you in.
29:10It's bedtime, Kayden.
29:15Bedtime.
29:35Kayden came out of his room, and every time he did that,
29:38Mum went and got him and ushered him back into his own bed.
29:42And this continued for quite a while.
29:45Oh, God, I will never go in Kayla's room.
29:51You are doing a fantastic job.
29:53You are pulling something out from somewhere.
29:57Mum!
30:09Mum, I have to tell you something.
30:12Mum!
30:15Mum!
30:23Oh, my God.
30:27He's asleep. Oh, my God.
30:29He's what? He's asleep.
30:32When I realised that both the kids were in bed,
30:34it was just like, oh, my God, this really worked.
30:36It was, like, life-changing.
30:38That moment, I felt like things are definitely going to change.
30:41You did it. Not me. You did it.
30:43The fact that she nailed this was a big, big achievement for Mum,
30:47and she worked hard to get it.
30:49I am going for several days.
30:51The stay-in-bed technique is required.
30:54If you have a moment where you can have that little time with Kayla,
30:58that would be fantastic. Yeah.
31:00Maybe you're making bracelets or necklaces together.
31:04Discipline. Kayla has time out.
31:07But Kayden right now has what?
31:11Just to defuse the anger going into his room.
31:14So keep going. OK. All right.
31:16I'm worried about things going back to the old way,
31:18but I just have to remind myself that that's not something I'm willing to do.
31:21I'm not going to let my kids control my life any more.
31:24Ashley does have the tools,
31:26but I just hope that she's just going to hold it together
31:29so that we can make tracks in moving forward, slowly but surely.
31:37Coming up on Supernanny...
31:39Walk to my room. You are done.
31:42Mum loses it with Kayden.
31:44Do not! That's it.
31:46Can Jo help her keep her cool?
31:48It's like gasoline.
31:51When Supernanny returns.
31:56And now, Ask Supernanny.
31:58What's the best way to get your child to sleep alone?
32:02A, gradually work your way out of the room.
32:05B, stay with them until they fall asleep.
32:08C, allow them to keep the TV on for comfort.
32:12Find out the answer when we return.
32:17And now, Ask Supernanny.
32:19What's the best way to get your child to sleep alone?
32:22A, gradually work your way out of the room.
32:26B, stay with them until they fall asleep.
32:29C, allow them to keep the TV on for comfort.
32:33The answer is A.
32:35Working your way out of the room is the best way to break a habit
32:38that could go on for years.
32:40So make sure the TV is off because children do not sleep properly
32:43with television sounds or a bright light on.
32:52Hello. Hi.
32:54I've been gone for several days and, yes, I am very anxious
32:57to see how Mum has fared whilst I've been gone.
32:59So I'm going to waste no time.
33:01Let's take a look at tone and discipline here.
33:04Stay in here now until Kayla's done.
33:09Do not bite.
33:11Go to your room and do not come out.
33:16You do not hit the television.
33:18Do it again and then you're done for the night.
33:20Do you understand me?
33:21No.
33:22Do not!
33:23That's it.
33:25Walk to my room. You are done.
33:28You hit that TV again, you will never play the Wii again.
33:31Ever.
33:35When you lose it with Caden, it's like gasoline.
33:39Seriously.
33:41And that's what he's used to.
33:43When he misbehaves and he hits the television,
33:46that's the one striking you out, right?
33:48Right.
33:49Because if you turn around and you say to a child who's quite obstinate
33:53and you say, don't hit that television again,
33:56what do you think they do?
33:57Hit the television again.
33:58Correct.
33:59You tell me not to hit it, I'm going to go and do exactly that.
34:02So what we need to think about is our choice of words.
34:05You're going to have to go into your room to cool down.
34:07One's striking you out.
34:08Right.
34:09But to turn around and tell him not to do what you know he does,
34:11I think I could just go and do it again.
34:13You're writing a script for him.
34:15All right, so we're going to take a look at making Kayla time.
34:18This is glue.
34:20Keep the glitter in the tray.
34:23Right.
34:24Hey, we should make these for each other.
34:26But not right here.
34:29Hayden, you can't take those.
34:31Those are mine.
34:32Which ones?
34:33Can you give those back to her and then me and you will find them ourselves?
34:38This is a pretty cool idea, Kayla.
34:40Did you get it?
34:42Oh, yeah.
34:43Got it.
34:44That's really nice to see.
34:46What do we do to just continue to improve the relationship with you and Kayla?
34:51I mean, you're making time for her now.
34:53To consistently make time for her
34:56and to make it a privilege for her to have the friend.
34:59Correct.
35:00And to follow the rules.
35:01And when she does that, she will get to be rewarded with those activities.
35:04Yeah.
35:05What I noticed there was that Kayla came up to you and told you
35:07when Kayden was trying to interfere, which is a big step,
35:10because Kayla normally would have taken care of that herself
35:13and then you would have been prising them apart.
35:16So let's move on to bedtime.
35:18We're going to get in our big boy bed.
35:20No, I don't want to get in that one.
35:22Good night, Kayden.
35:24He's not allowed to kiss me.
35:29No, he's not allowed in here.
35:36Good night.
35:54What have you taught yourself with this technique?
35:57Consistence. And then the not talking part really works.
36:00The no communications, it's like, it's amazing.
36:03Love it.
36:04You have to. You just have to do it.
36:06Yeah.
36:07Fabulous.
36:08Let's take a look at Kayla in time out.
36:10Okay, ready?
36:13You did the wrong turn.
36:15Here, I want you to do mine.
36:17No. No.
36:18I want him to do mine. Stop!
36:20We're taking our own turns, Kayla.
36:23Give me the controller.
36:26You win.
36:27And now you kicked me, go to your room.
36:30You will not kick me.
36:32Do not come out and you're not playing the rest of the game.
36:35No, you made the choice.
36:37Now you stay in your room.
36:41And the rules aren't any different for you than your brother.
36:46Really? Are they?
36:49Are they the same or are they different?
36:51They're the same but she should have a time out.
36:53I'm going to repeat back what you just said to me.
36:55They're the same but Kayla should have a time out.
36:57Did that make sense?
36:58Are they the same or not the same then?
37:00They're not the same.
37:01Completely not the same. Kayla's a time out.
37:03She took the control and she started to sulk.
37:06And there and then you could have gone in and given her a warning.
37:08You need to behave yourself right now and give me back that control.
37:11And you saw that she didn't, you would then just straight execute time out.
37:14Time out, right.
37:16How do you feel?
37:18I feel very hopeful, excited.
37:20Committed.
37:22So you should be.
37:23Seeing the changes, it's very positive.
37:26So are we ready for some more work?
37:28Ready.
37:29Yeah, okay, great. That's fantastic.
37:32Coming up on Supernanny.
37:34That's not safe.
37:35Kayden's behavior goes from bad.
37:37Please don't hit me, Kayden.
37:39Oh, stay out.
37:41To worse.
37:42I don't want to hit him.
37:45When Supernanny returns.
37:51MUSIC
38:01From what I saw watching the DVD,
38:03Mum is still confused about the different types of discipline
38:06for Kayla and Kayden.
38:08So I brought something in to help her.
38:10What I've got here for you, Ashley,
38:12is obviously the two kids and their different time outs.
38:15Kayden doesn't have a time out.
38:17He has the cool down, but Kayla does have the time out, OK?
38:20When Joe brought in the magnet board, I thought it was awesome
38:23because it was a really clear cut-and-dry reminder,
38:26so I have something to look at to remind myself
38:28to differentiate between the two different forms of discipline
38:31for each of them.
38:35Kayla, you have your crayons.
38:37You have pink. Right now you're acting.
38:39And later on in the afternoon,
38:41both kids gave Mum the opportunity
38:43to go ahead with that discipline.
38:45Kayla kicked off first.
38:48That's not pink. It's purplish-pink.
38:52That one doesn't work. Look.
38:54Works just fine.
38:56It's not pink. It's pink-orange.
38:58Right now, Kayla, you're acting a bit babyish.
39:03And Mum gave Kayla a proper warning.
39:06Kayla, the attitude is going to go now.
39:10And Kayla just looked away.
39:12Didn't want to listen to any of it.
39:14So are you going to lose the attitude?
39:16And Mum kind of stumbled, and so I thought,
39:18I'm going to give her another example and I'm going to show her.
39:21Kayla, look at me, please, because I want to talk to you.
39:24If you do not look at me when I am talking to you,
39:28you will be going straight into time-out.
39:31I thought, well, here we go, and I just dropped my tone of voice.
39:35I want you to stop this behaviour right now
39:37because it's not acceptable, and if you continue to behave this way,
39:40you will be going into time-out.
39:43So just enjoy what you're doing.
39:46She realised that she would end up in time-out
39:49if she didn't do as she was told,
39:51and we saw her just listen and take heed to what was being said.
39:54Previously, her behaviour would have gotten out of control,
39:57and I could definitely see that, you know, giving her the warning
40:00and giving her the opportunity to make the decision
40:02whether to change the behaviour or not or go to time-out has been effective.
40:06That's not safe. Get down from there.
40:09I'm going to stay right here.
40:12And not long after Kayla kicked off, oh, yeah, Caden did as well.
40:16Please don't hit me, Caden.
40:18Oh, stay out!
40:20Mum knows that she has to diffuse Caden's temper with a cool-down technique.
40:25So just very calmly go to his new room.
40:27When you calm down, you can come out and apologise.
40:29Mum ushered him into his own bedroom and assumed that he was going to die.
40:33Mum ushered him into his own bedroom and it soon became very quiet.
40:38Caden, you need to get down.
40:40I don't want to!
40:47OK, question. He said, no, I don't want to.
40:50I just turned around and walked out cos I was like, oh, my God, what do I do now?
40:54I would ignore it. OK, that's what I'd been.
40:56He's looking for a reaction. And once he gets it, then it's over with. Yeah.
41:00Mum left Caden alone and in his own time, he came around and he apologised.
41:06Caden, did you come out to apologise?
41:08I'm so sorry.
41:10Thank you, Caden. May I have a hug?
41:12Come on, that's it.
41:14I've seen a change in Caden's temperament.
41:16So, you know, I think there are very subtle but good changes
41:21that are happening in this family
41:23and I hope that Mum just holds on to those small changes that are happening
41:26because they are moving forward.
41:30OK, who's going to give me a big kiss and a hug?
41:32Because it's time for me to go home.
41:34OK, I'm going to give you a kiss and a big kiss.
41:37I can definitely see that in the last couple of weeks,
41:39both of my kids have changed significantly.
41:41I mean, their behaviour, their demeanour, their attitude,
41:45everything has changed for the better.
41:47You do have the tools.
41:49You know what you need from here and just keep going.
41:52How are you feeling? Good. Yeah? Yeah.
41:55I'm certainly saying goodbye to a young lady who's making smarter choices.
41:59Good to be here and help you, right? Thank you. You're welcome.
42:02Now I just hope she continues to pull out what she needs from herself
42:06to get the results that she has been seeing
42:08over the last couple of weeks with her family.
42:10Take care. Bye. Have fun.
42:13Bye, Nanny Jo. Bye-bye.
42:15The road that the McKinney family's on now
42:17is just the road to success and happiness.
42:19I just see nothing but positive things happening for us from here on out.
42:29.
42:59.