Somewhere in Civvies is a 1943 British comedy film directed by Maclean Rogers and starring Frank Randle, George Doonan and Suzette Tarri. Private Randle is discharged from the army and finds it difficult to adjust to civilian life. It was followed in 1948 by Somewhere in Politics.
Source: Wikipedia
Source: Wikipedia
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00:15:21Oh, excuse me, Sergeant.
00:15:23Yes, sir.
00:15:24Have you got a chap named Randall here?
00:15:25Yes, we've got a private Randall here.
00:15:27Why, what do you want to see him about, sir?
00:15:28Well, as a matter of fact, he's a cousin of mine,
00:15:30and I heard he was going abroad.
00:15:31I thought I'd like to see the last of him.
00:15:33Yes, I'd like to see the last of him too.
00:15:35Why, what do you mean?
00:15:36Well, as a matter of fact, sir,
00:15:37I don't think Master Randall will be going anywhere.
00:15:39He's getting his ticket today.
00:15:40A ticket?
00:15:41Yes.
00:15:42You've been saying he's unfit.
00:15:43Unfit?
00:15:44Why, the doctor said he won't last much longer, sir.
00:15:46Mind you, I think he's swinging the lead, sir,
00:15:48which is why the bloke's as fit as I am.
00:15:50Pity, pity.
00:15:51Eh?
00:15:52I mean, pity he's unfit.
00:15:53Oh, yes, yes.
00:15:54Well, if you wait about here, sir,
00:15:55you might see him coming out.
00:15:56Yes, I will, thanks.
00:15:57Bye-bye.
00:15:58Good-bye.
00:15:59Come on, fellas.
00:16:00Good-bye.
00:16:01Good-bye.
00:16:02Good-bye.
00:16:03All the very best, Frank.
00:16:05All the very best.
00:16:06Thanks very much.
00:16:07Good-bye.
00:16:08Good-bye.
00:16:09Good-bye, Corporal.
00:16:10Good-bye, Frank, old man,
00:16:11and the very best of luck.
00:16:13You lucky devil.
00:16:15What a welcome.
00:16:18Good-bye.
00:16:19Good-bye.
00:16:20Very best of luck.
00:16:41I'm a killer.
00:16:43Out, present arms.
00:16:48Thanks very much.
00:16:50Come on, it's you.
00:16:52Look at your clock.
00:16:53No, your face.
00:16:54What's your worry?
00:16:55You've been with the A.T.S. again.
00:16:56Oh, well, you know what I am.
00:16:58Jock, I'm out.
00:16:59You can finish the war yourself.
00:17:01Good luck, Frank.
00:17:02Have a good time, boy.
00:17:03Hey, get in.
00:17:04Come here.
00:17:05Come here.
00:17:06Come here.
00:17:07Come here.
00:17:08Where did he go, Bill?
00:17:09That way.
00:17:10Right.
00:17:11Good-bye, Bill.
00:17:12Good-bye.
00:17:13Goodbye.
00:17:14Good-bye.
00:17:15Hey!
00:17:15Rhyme on! Rhyme on! Rhyme on!
00:17:34Clear up.
00:17:35Now.
00:17:44Ah, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:17:47La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:17:50Oh, excuse me.
00:18:05I'll put the rest of it in the ringer.
00:18:19Stand still, Blasius.
00:18:23Good morning.
00:18:26Oh, good morning, sir.
00:18:32I'd like to see Mr. Doolan, please.
00:18:35I'd like to see Mr. Doolan's widow.
00:18:38Oh, won't you sit down, sir?
00:18:39Take a seat.
00:18:40It won't be long.
00:18:41Sit down, sir.
00:18:44What the hell's all this?
00:18:46Good afternoon.
00:18:47You go and get your cards.
00:18:49Cards?
00:18:50I've no time for pontoon.
00:18:51Go and get your money.
00:18:53Money?
00:18:54Go and draw your money.
00:18:56Oh, has it come up?
00:18:58You're finished.
00:18:59Fired.
00:19:00Sacked.
00:19:01Oh, don't worry.
00:19:02It's all right.
00:19:03I've been sacked from better jobs than this.
00:19:06Don't go away.
00:19:09Gee, that's new.
00:19:11What's the idea of all that?
00:19:12Because it saves me the trouble of doing that.
00:19:15Oh, get out of it.
00:19:18Randall.
00:19:19Oh.
00:19:20What's the charge?
00:19:21Well, all right.
00:19:23What's going on here?
00:19:24You told me you were a painter.
00:19:26Yes, I shouldn't be here.
00:19:30I'm an interior decorator.
00:19:32Interior decorator?
00:19:33Yes.
00:19:34Couldn't you find me a job?
00:19:35Well, I...
00:19:36Why don't you ask your cousin Matthews for a job?
00:19:38Oh, I'm finished with him.
00:19:40He gets me a dangerous job.
00:19:42I win a steaming yacht.
00:19:43I win a diver.
00:19:44I win everything.
00:19:46And no more cousin Matthews.
00:19:47No.
00:19:48No more cousin Matthews.
00:19:49Oh, well, I'll tell you what to do.
00:19:50Listen, I might be able to fix you a job.
00:19:52You come up and see me again at my office.
00:19:54You know where I live.
00:19:55You'll do your best.
00:19:56Of course I will.
00:19:57Yeah.
00:19:58God bless you.
00:19:59I shall never forget you.
00:20:01Oh, what a beautiful intoxicating breath you've got.
00:20:06I'll do what I can for you, old man.
00:20:09Good old Salch.
00:20:12I think I'll go and get the bill.
00:20:14I'll have a beer.
00:20:16Hello.
00:20:17Hello.
00:20:18Who's speaking, please?
00:20:19Oh, the landlord.
00:20:21No, he's out.
00:20:22He's just gone to get married.
00:20:24What about your rent?
00:20:26I'm afraid you're unlucky.
00:20:28I'm afraid you're unlucky.
00:20:29You'll have to take your place in the queue.
00:20:31What?
00:20:32What?
00:20:33Oh, well, I've never been so insulted in my life.
00:20:36You're no gentleman, and I'll have you know,
00:20:38I've never even been on a farm.
00:20:40You cheek.
00:20:42Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning.
00:20:44Oh, yes, it's a pleasure to see you, sir.
00:20:47Of course, Mr. Matthews.
00:20:48Good morning.
00:20:49I'll give you a moment.
00:20:50I'll be pushing off.
00:20:51See you tomorrow.
00:20:52Yes, I wish you would, Mrs. Spam.
00:20:56And now, Mr. Matthews.
00:20:57You won't forget about me wages, sir.
00:20:59Uh, Mrs. Spam, have I ever promised you anything
00:21:02and then let you down?
00:21:03Yes, sir.
00:21:04No, sir.
00:21:05But you know there's no taste in nothing.
00:21:06You've heard of the little squanderbug.
00:21:08Then you see, if I don't give you any money to spend,
00:21:10we are really helping the country.
00:21:12Oh, if you put it like that, sir, well, thank you, sir.
00:21:16Yes, now run along and forget all about your wages.
00:21:18I will, sir.
00:21:20Now, sir.
00:21:22Just a minute.
00:21:23Oh, yes.
00:21:25Now, this is a very private and delicate matter.
00:21:28Well, of course, you realize in the first place
00:21:30that you can confide in me, sir.
00:21:33Tell me, what is the lady's name?
00:21:35And has she anything in writing?
00:21:37Oh, no, there's nothing like that.
00:21:38Oh, what a pity.
00:21:39And I had the blue pencil already.
00:21:41You see, it's in relation to my late uncle's will.
00:21:43Ah, you interest me.
00:21:44Has he left you the doings?
00:21:46Well, not exactly, no.
00:21:47He's left his fortune to my cousin Frank.
00:21:49Randall, my hand itches.
00:21:51You see, my uncle's only relatives were Frank
00:21:54and his brother, who's dead, and me.
00:21:56But there's one condition.
00:21:58Oh, what condition?
00:21:59Before Frank can inherit the money,
00:22:00the executors have to be satisfied that he's of sound mind.
00:22:03Ah, but suppose he isn't?
00:22:05Then the money comes to me.
00:22:06Then there's nothing standing between you and our money,
00:22:09the money, but Frank.
00:22:10Exactly.
00:22:11Tell me, what is the sum involved, I hope?
00:22:14Oh, roughly 50,000.
00:22:17Roughly 50,000?
00:22:19Roughly 50,000.
00:22:21Excuse me, I feel a bit faint.
00:22:24Now, Mr. Doonan, I've got a little proposition.
00:22:28You have?
00:22:29Mr. Matthews, have a cigar, will you?
00:22:31Oh, pardon me, the mice.
00:22:32Perhaps you'd like one of mine?
00:22:34That's very kind of you.
00:22:36Now, when you and Frank were in the army,
00:22:39didn't you think he was a little, uh, queer?
00:22:42Oh, exactly.
00:22:43Now, would you say he was sane?
00:22:45Well, if he's sane, I'm crackers.
00:22:47But the executors will want more proof than that.
00:22:49Hmm.
00:22:51Supposing he were in a mental home?
00:22:52You can't put him in a mental home.
00:22:54No, but you can drive him into one.
00:22:56Just a moment now.
00:22:57Does he know anything about the will?
00:22:59My gosh, no, and I don't want him to know anything about it.
00:23:01Have you got it with you?
00:23:02Of course I have.
00:23:03Then so that he doesn't see it, I'll keep this in my strong room.
00:23:06Yes, that's not a bad idea.
00:23:10It'll be quite safe there.
00:23:12Now, when you get this money, what do I get out of it?
00:23:15You can name your own terms.
00:23:16Good, then leave the whole thing to me.
00:23:17I'll fix it just like that.
00:23:18It's a deal.
00:23:19Good.
00:23:20Now, uh, what's your scheme?
00:23:22I was talking to Frank just now,
00:23:24and he tells me he wants to be an interior decorator.
00:23:31Oh, nurse.
00:23:32Yes, doctor?
00:23:33Uh, having a new patient.
00:23:35His name is Randall.
00:23:37Randall?
00:23:38Yes.
00:23:39He's being sent here by Dr. Matthews.
00:23:41We're to keep him here under observation,
00:23:43and if need be, certify him.
00:23:44Yes, doctor.
00:23:45When does he arrive?
00:23:46Today.
00:23:47The poor fellow imagines he's a dictator
00:23:48back at his old trade of decorating.
00:23:50What, a lover?
00:23:51To get him here quietly,
00:23:52they've told him he's coming here to do a job.
00:23:54I see.
00:23:58My feet!
00:24:00Sorry.
00:24:02What a devil you're playing at!
00:24:04Oh, my foot!
00:24:06Ah, good morning, Sarge.
00:24:08Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:10I beg your pardon.
00:24:12Oh, you dirty thing!
00:24:14Don't be so finicky!
00:24:15And get off me foot!
00:24:17And get off my foot!
00:24:19Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:24:20So, you have arrived?
00:24:22I think so.
00:24:23Have we?
00:24:24Of course we have!
00:24:25Of course we have!
00:24:26Oh, shut up, eat a real twillip, mister.
00:24:28Ah, good heavens.
00:24:29I feel like a kangaroo in this.
00:24:31Now listen, Frank.
00:24:32There is considerable rivalry as to who shall have this job.
00:24:36Oh, yes.
00:24:37But don't let them put one over on you.
00:24:38Stick to your guns,
00:24:39and carry on with your work, whatever happens.
00:24:42You leave it to us.
00:24:44Once we get in there, we won't come out.
00:24:46That's right.
00:24:47You won't.
00:24:49Oh, what is the matter with you?
00:24:51Well, I must be getting back to the office.
00:24:53You know, one or two government contracts wait for my signature.
00:24:55Yes.
00:24:56Well, Frankie, good painting.
00:24:58Good health.
00:24:59Oh.
00:25:00Here, have a look at everything.
00:25:01Well, check it.
00:25:02Book it.
00:25:03Yes.
00:25:04Paste.
00:25:05Can.
00:25:06Ladders.
00:25:07Yes.
00:25:08Settle.
00:25:09No distemper.
00:25:10No distemper?
00:25:11No distemper.
00:25:12It was here.
00:25:13Well, go and ask.
00:25:14Yes, but...
00:25:15Who the hell are you talking to?
00:25:16No, no, no.
00:25:17To give places of advantage to you.
00:25:18Now, come on.
00:25:19Let's get back in.
00:25:20There's only one thing to do.
00:25:21Let's see.
00:25:22That's the idea.
00:25:23Come on.
00:25:24Come on.
00:25:25Shame.
00:25:26Shame.
00:25:27Shame.
00:25:28Good heavens.
00:25:29What's that?
00:25:30Probably our dictator.
00:25:31Yes.
00:25:32I expect his patience has exhausted.
00:25:33I expect ours soon will be.
00:25:34Go and see him, you nurse.
00:25:35Yes, doctor.
00:25:37Let go of that damn thing.
00:25:38Do you want to break the window?
00:25:39Oh.
00:25:40Oh.
00:25:41Oh.
00:25:42She's the lady.
00:25:43What?
00:25:44Oh, good afternoon.
00:25:45Good afternoon.
00:25:46What the hell are you doing?
00:25:47That has been a slight mishap.
00:25:48Oh, don't worry about that.
00:25:49My boy here.
00:25:50Yes.
00:25:51We don't mind broken windows.
00:25:52What?
00:25:53We don't mind a couple of windows.
00:25:54You don't?
00:25:55No.
00:25:56No, she doesn't.
00:25:58Oh.
00:25:59Oh.
00:26:00Oh.
00:26:01Oh.
00:26:02Oh.
00:26:03Oh.
00:26:04Oh.
00:26:06Oh.
00:26:07Just a couple.
00:26:08No more.
00:26:09Yes.
00:26:10Let Bill Kington break one.
00:26:11But not today.
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:13Perhaps tomorrow.
00:26:14Ah.
00:26:15Oh, by the way, have you a distemper?
00:26:16Have I what?
00:26:17Distemper.
00:26:18Distemper?
00:26:19Oh, yes, of course.
00:26:20Oh.
00:26:21Oh.
00:26:22Oh.
00:26:23Oh.
00:26:24Oh.
00:26:25Oh.
00:26:26Oh.
00:26:27Oh.
00:26:28Oh.
00:26:29Oh.
00:26:30Oh.
00:26:31Oh.
00:26:32Oh.
00:26:33Oh.
00:26:34Oh.
00:26:35Oh.
00:26:36Ah, I can't leave it.
00:26:37You must be Mr. Randolph.
00:26:38This is Mr. Randolph.
00:26:39How do you do?
00:26:40How do you do?
00:26:41Mr. Bill Kington, my boy.
00:26:42How do you do?
00:26:43Won't you come in?
00:26:44Yes, of course.
00:26:45After you.
00:26:46Oh, after you.
00:26:47Well, we'll go in together.
00:26:48Yes.
00:26:49Of course, I haven't done it properly.
00:26:50Bill Kington, bring the things in, will you?
00:26:54Yes.
00:26:55Give us a hand.
00:26:56Oh, dammit.
00:26:57Can't you do anything on your own?
00:26:58You said I was getting busy.
00:26:59Oh, alright.
00:27:00Come on.
00:27:01Let's get cracking.
00:27:02Hurry.
00:27:03We're in, Meredith. We're in.
00:27:05After you, Philkington. After you.
00:27:08Oh, what a mess!
00:27:10It's no good crying over spilt milk.
00:27:12Come on, my dear. Let's go.
00:27:19You bunged your head!
00:27:21I bunged my head?
00:27:23I bunged my head!
00:27:25I bunged my head!
00:27:27I bunged my head!
00:27:29I bunged my head!
00:27:31I bunged my head!
00:27:33I think you ought to be in an asylum.
00:27:35You're more of a hindrance than a hatchet.
00:27:37Now, come on. Let's get cracking.
00:27:51I'll bet they'll be next.
00:27:55Oh, come on, come on. Let's get going.
00:28:01My dear nurse, I assure you I've dealt with thousands of such cases.
00:28:04But, doctor, you've no idea.
00:28:06There's no occasion to use any force.
00:28:08I always find that a few quiet words of reason will work wonders.
00:28:15Just watch.
00:28:17Ah, my dear.
00:28:22Now, look here. We'll take charge of these things for you.
00:28:25Oh, no, you don't.
00:28:27We've lost Hancock before.
00:28:29Is my nail sharp?
00:28:31It is.
00:28:32We'd better humour him.
00:28:33Yes, doctor.
00:28:34Now, look here. I'm sure you must be feeling tired.
00:28:36Supposing you have a little nap,
00:28:38and then you'll feel fresher to start work tomorrow.
00:28:40Oh, they're at it already.
00:28:42Remember what George said.
00:28:44So you want to give the job to someone else.
00:28:46But it's not coming off. See?
00:28:48Well, really.
00:28:49I'm talking to the engineer, not the oil rack.
00:28:51Where do we start?
00:28:53Well, I hardly know. The walls seem perfectly clean.
00:28:56We'll soon alter that.
00:28:58Shall I remove the door?
00:29:00What did you say, Pilkington?
00:29:01I said, shall I remove the door?
00:29:03Oh, yes, by all means, please do, if you will do.
00:29:07Then you really want me to do?
00:29:09Oh, I should love you to do.
00:29:11Oh, I will do for you.
00:29:12Good. Then perhaps someday I shall do for you to do.
00:29:15Yes.
00:29:16And if you're not quick, I shall do for you now.
00:29:18No, no, no, don't start.
00:29:19Well, come on, then. Let's get going.
00:29:21A more serious case than I imagined.
00:29:23But, doctor, what are we going to do?
00:29:25We can't let them mess up the place.
00:29:27We'll phone Roberts now to bring a straightjacket.
00:29:40Come on, come on, that's it. Come on, come on.
00:29:42Let's get going.
00:29:43That's not it.
00:29:44That's not it.
00:29:45That's not it.
00:29:48That's not it.
00:29:49Let's get going.
00:29:51Not today.
00:29:53We'll soon have this job done.
00:29:56You'll be all right.
00:30:02He went in as quiet as a lamb.
00:30:05Good.
00:30:06And of his own free will.
00:30:08That was a good idea of yours.
00:30:09It certainly was.
00:30:10It's a funny place, this, isn't it?
00:30:12It is.
00:30:14They're delightful. Try one.
00:30:22Wait.
00:30:25Still mine?
00:30:26With pleasure.
00:30:29Down.
00:30:38Excuse me, what is this place?
00:30:40Why, don't you know?
00:30:41Look at us all.
00:30:42This is Wembley Stadium.
00:30:45Get out.
00:30:49It's you.
00:30:50It's you.
00:30:55Oh, she's kicked the bucket.
00:30:57What a mucky mess.
00:31:01Here, take your hands off her.
00:31:03Hey, where's that brush?
00:31:04It's mine.
00:31:05Where's the brush?
00:31:06What are you doing?
00:31:07What are you doing?
00:31:11You'll spill it.
00:31:12Get off it.
00:31:13I won't.
00:31:14It's mine.
00:31:15Really, you'll spill it?
00:31:16Oh, no.
00:31:18Put that devil here.
00:31:21Oh, my.
00:31:22Get off.
00:31:27Oh, nurse, let me get them to clean up all that mess.
00:31:30Yes, doctor, I'll see to it at once.
00:31:35Oh, my.
00:31:36Good heavens.
00:31:40Boys, boys.
00:31:41Control yourselves.
00:31:43Stop it.
00:31:44Robert.
00:31:45Adam.
00:31:47Hurry up.
00:31:48Wait.
00:32:08Here.
00:32:09This is a bug house.
00:32:10It's a proper bug house.
00:32:11Never mind.
00:32:12Get me out.
00:32:13Come on.
00:32:15Get in.
00:32:16Get in what?
00:32:17Your forgotten handkerchief.
00:32:18Never mind that.
00:32:19Let's get out.
00:32:21No.
00:32:22Not that.
00:32:23You can't do that.
00:32:24Get me out.
00:32:25Come on.
00:32:27Here.
00:32:28They'll recognize us.
00:32:29Well, what are we going to do?
00:32:30No.
00:32:31They're going to hit me.
00:32:32Camouflage.
00:32:33Good idea.
00:32:36That's me.
00:32:47Oh, nurse.
00:32:48The little fellow.
00:32:49I think he's going to crack us.
00:32:50Have him put away in a padded cell, will you?
00:32:52Yes, doctor.
00:32:53Thank you very much.
00:32:54Come on.
00:33:01Come on.
00:33:02Hurry up.
00:33:03Come on.
00:33:05There he is.
00:33:06We're out.
00:33:07Doctor.
00:33:08There.
00:33:09He needs you.
00:33:10He needs you.
00:33:11Oh, yes.
00:33:12Oh.
00:33:13Oh, don't.
00:33:14Calm down.
00:33:15Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm.
00:33:16Collect yourself.
00:33:17Collect yourself.
00:33:18There you are.
00:33:19I'll give you a slap if they get up.
00:33:21No, no, no, doctor.
00:33:22No excitement.
00:33:23Oh, of course.
00:33:24All right, my boy.
00:33:25Come, come, come, come, come, come.
00:33:27Bless my soul.
00:33:28You're either dead or my watch has stopped.
00:33:30Oh, no, doctor.
00:33:31It isn't me.
00:33:32I want you to come and have a look at my wife.
00:33:34She's shocking.
00:33:35My missus.
00:33:36See, my missus.
00:33:37Don't bother, dear.
00:33:38It's the gentleman's wife.
00:33:39A case of, you know, his wife.
00:33:41Yes, I've never met a woman in my life.
00:33:43What are you talking about?
00:33:44A case.
00:33:45Do you understand?
00:33:46The gentleman, his wife, a case of woman.
00:33:47Oh, I see.
00:33:48Oh, yes, yes, of course.
00:33:49Yes, well, what do you think we ought to do?
00:33:51Well, I really think we ought to go.
00:33:53You think we ought to go?
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55Very good.
00:33:56In that case, I suppose we shall.
00:33:57Now, which way is it?
00:33:58Oh, this way, doctor.
00:33:59We'll be there in three minutes.
00:34:00Oh, doctor.
00:34:01Oh, doctor.
00:34:02I do hope it's a boy.
00:34:04Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:05What?
00:34:06What the?
00:34:07Oh, you've got me in a hell of a mess.
00:34:08What do you fancy with the two of them?
00:34:10My dear, what do you think I've just found out while I was cleaning up?
00:34:13I came across a will.
00:34:14A will?
00:34:15You know, one of them things that tells you who's going to have what you can't take with you.
00:34:19That's right, a will.
00:34:20Well, of course, I'm not nosy, but I thought I'd just like to find out who was going to click for the doings.
00:34:25Who do you think it is?
00:34:26An out-of-work bloke named Randall, who doesn't know what's come into him.
00:34:30Of course, you know, I've felt very lonely since me third went, and you know the old saying,
00:34:35what you've always had, you miss.
00:34:37Well, now, I thought if I could hook him up, for he knows he's rich, see, and gets other ideas.
00:34:42Eh?
00:34:43Oh, well, of course, I know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but me bait's not quite so fresh as it was, you see.
00:34:50Oh, yes, rather.
00:34:52You should have some wedding cake, all right.
00:34:54Not after...
00:34:55No, we haven't got any cake.
00:34:57No, I haven't got anything under me counter.
00:34:59I'm not the grocer.
00:35:00No, I don't know where your eggs are.
00:35:02Good afternoon.
00:35:03Long number, sir.
00:35:04There's nearly a hundred you've had, Doonan.
00:35:06What, only a hundred?
00:35:07Oh, Mrs. Spam, you know, you haven't asked me for any wages lately.
00:35:11And you know my account's straight and my book's always up to date.
00:35:14Well, it'll be three pounds ten come Friday.
00:35:16Three pounds ten come Friday.
00:35:18Three pounds ten come Friday.
00:35:20Pardon me, will you?
00:35:21Three pounds ten come Friday.
00:35:22There, Mrs. Spam, there's four pounds.
00:35:24Run along and come back when you're sober.
00:35:26Four pounds!
00:35:27Oh, I'm going to have a gin and static water!
00:35:32Now, I'll let that fish here somewhere.
00:35:35Yes, I can smell I'm getting warm.
00:35:42Frank to report tonight to the Moat House for job as watchman.
00:35:48Will be alone all night.
00:35:52Alone all night.
00:35:55Oh, it's you, Mrs. Ogden.
00:35:56Hello, dearie.
00:35:57I found your fish.
00:35:58You left it in the...
00:35:59Oh, I didn't leave it there, surely.
00:36:01You did?
00:36:02Here, I haven't seen you for a day or two.
00:36:04And I was wondering how you were getting on with that young man of yours.
00:36:07Has he popped the question yet?
00:36:09Well, not exactly popped the question, dear.
00:36:12But I think he will tonight.
00:36:15Why tonight?
00:36:16Well, you see, he's got a new job as night watchman.
00:36:19He's going to be alone all night.
00:36:21And so I thought I'd go and keep him company.
00:36:24Well, they do say we're at our weakest between midnight and 3 a.m., don't they?
00:36:29Well, I don't know about that, dear.
00:36:31Listen, I've had a funny feeling over me for days now.
00:36:35I don't know whether it's love or whether perhaps it's the spring and the sap rising.
00:36:41Oh, I'm so...
00:36:55Oh, dear boy.
00:36:58That's the worst of these terrible places.
00:37:05Come in.
00:37:08We have been waiting for you.
00:37:10Good evening.
00:37:11You're a long way from your barracks, aren't you?
00:37:13You are late.
00:37:14Yes, I'm looking for the house next door.
00:37:16Good night.
00:37:17No, come in.
00:37:23This is my place.
00:37:24It's a hell of a place, isn't it?
00:37:26Good night.
00:37:27It's a little bit cold here, isn't it?
00:37:29I think you're a hotten.
00:37:30Would you like something warm to drink?
00:37:32Yes, please, Mr. Dibble.
00:37:33Some brimstone and treacle.
00:37:34Don't be silly fool.
00:37:35Sit down.
00:37:36Oh, dear.
00:37:37My clothes.
00:37:40I'm poisoned.
00:37:41I'm poisoned.
00:37:42Sit down.
00:37:46Leave me alone.
00:37:48Now you know why you're here.
00:37:50Yes, I've been a bad lad.
00:37:51I'll sign the pledge.
00:37:52I won't do it again.
00:37:54Oh, why pick on me?
00:37:56I'm no good with a shovel.
00:37:58What the devil is that?
00:38:00Where's the fire watchers?
00:38:01You forgive me.
00:38:02I must take my moustache off.
00:38:04Oh, what's the idea of putting a window people like that?
00:38:07You remain on the alert and make sure that nobody gets in here.
00:38:10Oh, I see.
00:38:11It's quite possible there might be intruders.
00:38:13Desperate men who are trying to discover my secrets and could not stop at murder.
00:38:18Yes.
00:38:19What?
00:38:20Murder.
00:38:21But whatever happens, they mustn't be allowed to get in here.
00:38:23Oh, they mustn't?
00:38:24If they do get in.
00:38:26I shall get out.
00:38:27It must be over your dead body.
00:38:33You are to stay in this room and keep all strangers out.
00:38:37Yes.
00:38:38Otherwise, anything that you may hear or see, you must be unafraid.
00:38:45I must be unafraid?
00:38:47I'll be unconscious.
00:39:03Oh.
00:39:07Oh.
00:39:09Auntie Fanny.
00:39:11Frankie.
00:39:12Oh.
00:39:17It's all marked as well.
00:39:19One, thundercrash.
00:39:20Two, a women's scream.
00:39:22And here is your kill sheet.
00:39:24Thanks, Garbo.
00:39:25And here is your cue sheet.
00:39:27Thanks, Garbo. I'll just run them through.
00:39:35Someone! Get out! You can't do it!
00:39:43I can't swim! I can't swim!
00:39:44Well, there must be a back entrance.
00:39:46Let's try there.
00:39:47Yes, take him on his other way.
00:39:48Yes.
00:39:49Number 5 to 1. Now test the magnet, will you?
00:39:5710 feet at the gates.
00:40:01Hey! Hey, get up!
00:40:195, 6, 7, 8. That's all the force. Now move the magnet.
00:40:29That's OK. And finally, pull the main switch.
00:40:59I'm going to miss it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
00:41:13I think I'm going to miss it.
00:41:15We shall have a good look at you. Jack, go and turn those lights off.
00:41:21Blimey! Look at that for a blackout.
00:41:24Oh, Jack! Come here! Come here!
00:41:32Hold me down! Hold me down! Come here! Come here!
00:41:34Come here! Come here!
00:41:41Come on! Let me out!
00:41:45Let me out!
00:41:46I'll get you! I'll get you!
00:41:48You rascal! You let me down!
00:41:54I'll get you!
00:42:15Ah, pity, pity. Nice girl, Mary.
00:42:17Well, I should just write her a nice loving letter and send her a dozen eggs.
00:42:20Oh, that's no good. She won't even answer my letter.
00:42:22I thought perhaps you might be able to help.
00:42:24Doonan never fails.
00:42:25You see, if we can get hold of private Randall...
00:42:27Who?
00:42:28Randall, you know, her uncle.
00:42:29Oh, that's good.
00:42:30She seems very fond of him and perhaps he might be able to do something.
00:42:32Well, I'm not quite certain where Randall is at the moment, but leave everything to me, Ralph, and I'll fix it.
00:42:38I even guarantee you fine weather on your honeymoon.
00:42:41Oh, you're looking ahead, aren't you?
00:42:42Oh, that's all right. I'll fix everything just like that.
00:42:44What?
00:42:45Just like that.
00:42:46You will?
00:42:47Sure.
00:42:48How?
00:42:50One moment. Now, I was talking to your old man...
00:42:52Good old Colonel.
00:42:53And he's asked me to arrange a camp concert.
00:43:20The Colonel is here? In front?
00:43:21That's right.
00:43:22Stand by, everybody.
00:43:23You two kids, come on. You know you come on from that side.
00:43:25Come on. Hurry along now.
00:43:26Stand by, everybody.
00:43:27Love, come but once in a lifetime, they say.
00:43:53Oh, why did we two let it go?
00:44:02With so many things to remind me of you.
00:44:11My darling, I want you to know.
00:44:22Somebody's kisses are only for you.
00:44:31Somebody's kisses so tender and true.
00:44:40Somebody misses you more every day.
00:44:49Counting the moments since you've been away.
00:44:58Somebody's memories will never grow old.
00:45:07Until the sands of the desert grow cold.
00:45:16Somebody's kisses are waiting for you.
00:45:26When somebody's wishes come true.
00:45:46Somebody's kisses are waiting for you.
00:46:10When somebody's wishes come true.
00:46:26Mary, you were lovely.
00:46:46Darling, can't we go outside and talk?
00:46:48Can't we talk here?
00:46:50Now, what do you think?
00:46:53Perhaps you're right, Mr. Honey.
00:46:58Didn't I tell you?
00:46:59Just like that.
00:47:01Oh, love's young do it.
00:47:03Blummy, it's me.
00:47:06Oh, thank you, Mary Randall. Thank you.
00:47:08Well, now, boy girls, here's another special treat in the program.
00:47:11You all remember, surely, our ex-private Frank Randall.
00:47:15You remember the regimental menace mascot?
00:47:17Well, he was always threatening to form a band.
00:47:19Well, he's formed one.
00:47:21You're going to hear Frank Randall and his ravishing tank-busting refugees.
00:47:25Take it away.
00:47:49What are you doing?
00:47:50Sit down.
00:47:51I beg your pardon.
00:47:54Good evening.
00:48:05You're late.
00:48:10That's the hole there.
00:48:13What a fool.
00:48:16Don't worry, don't worry.
00:48:45Ah!
00:49:14Ooh!
00:49:34Melvington, get up.
00:49:46How many of they now?
00:50:15Ah!
00:50:44Oh, don't bother me now, it's getting near my cue.
00:50:49Why, what do you do?
00:50:50What do I do?
00:50:51Why, I dash onto the stage any moment now and I shoot the conductor.
00:50:53Frank?
00:50:54Yes, oh, black carpenters, of course.
00:50:56It's the funniest thing.
00:50:57You know what happens?
00:50:58Frank shouts out, I'd love to play the harp,
00:51:00and I dash on and I say, and so you shall, and I shoot him.
00:51:04Oh, where's my revolver?
00:51:05I must have left it in the dressing room.
00:51:07Oh, well, leave it to me, I'll get it for you.
00:51:09Oh, I wish you, would you mind?
00:51:10Yes, sir.
00:51:11It's the first hut on the left.
00:51:12I must hurry, because I'm getting near the cue.
00:51:14I'd love to play the harp, and so you shall.
00:51:44Oh!
00:52:06What are you doing here?
00:52:07Oh, it's you.
00:52:08Well, if you must, I brought these few cards for my Frankie.
00:52:11Your Frankie?
00:52:12Yes, and I might ask what you're doing here.
00:52:14That's my business.
00:52:15Oh, that nasty blighter.
00:52:17I'll bet he's got his mind on something wicked.
00:52:22And now we shall play Rachmaninoff's Prelude in A sharp minor.
00:52:27Otherwise known as Fosse, cough your table.
00:53:42Hello, what's been happening?
00:54:09Blimey, somebody's pinched me ammo!
00:54:11Oh, the dirty hound!
00:54:15And now, we shall play for you the overture, Bullets and Pheasants.
00:54:42Pssst! Pssst!
00:54:57Fool!
00:54:59Head up!
00:55:00Pssst! Pssst!
00:55:26I want to play the hound.
00:55:27You dirty murderer!
00:55:29What?
00:55:30Mrs. Spann, be quiet!
00:55:31Don't shoot, don't shoot, it's loaded!
00:55:32Don't be ridiculous, these are blank cartridges!
00:55:35Here, wait a minute, these are real ones!
00:55:37What the devil's the meaning of all this row?
00:55:38Don't you know the performance is on?
00:55:40Matthews, what are you doing here?
00:55:42What? He's been trying to murder Mark Frank and get his money.
00:55:44No, ridiculous!
00:55:45Money? What money?
00:55:46Why, it's in the will here. Read it yourself, Admiral. Go on, have a look.
00:55:48Get out of my sight!
00:55:49How do you dare to look me in the face after the way you swindled me?
00:55:52Wait a minute, there's been a mistake.
00:55:54This will has a codicil.
00:55:55A codicil?
00:55:56A couch was all right when I gave it to you.
00:55:58Yes, a codicil whereby the late John Randall cancelled his bequest to his nephew Frank
00:56:03and left everything he had to his great niece, Mary Randall.
00:56:06You mean I get everything?
00:56:08Yes, darling, everything.
00:56:09Oh, my darling Mary!
00:56:10That means that I can repay your father the money he lost.
00:56:13No, my dear child!
00:56:14Well, take her, my boy, take her. I congratulate you on your choice.
00:56:17Don't I get any of Frankie's money?
00:56:19Mrs. Spann, you've had it!
00:56:21That's the way, Charlie.
00:56:58Hey!
00:56:59Hey!
00:57:00Hey!
00:57:01Hey!
00:57:02Hey!
00:57:03Hey!
00:57:04Hey!
00:57:05Hey!
00:57:06Hey!
00:57:07Hey!
00:57:08Hey!
00:57:09Hey!
00:57:10Hey!
00:57:11Hey!
00:57:12Hey!
00:57:13Hey!
00:57:14Hey!
00:57:15Hey!
00:57:16Hey!
00:57:17Hey!
00:57:18Hey!
00:57:19Hey!
00:57:20Hey!
00:57:21Hey!
00:57:22Hey!
00:57:23Hey!
00:57:24Hey!
00:57:25Hey!
00:57:26Hey!
00:57:28Hey!
00:57:29Hey!
00:57:30Hey!
00:57:31Hey!
00:57:32Hey!
00:57:33Get out!
00:57:34Get out of here!
00:57:36Oh, my darling!
00:57:40Hey!
00:57:41Hey!
00:57:42Hey!
00:57:44Hey!
00:57:48Get out!
00:57:49Get out!
00:57:50Get out of here!
00:57:51Hey!
00:57:52Oh, I told you not to get in here!
00:57:53Oh, you…
00:57:54Get out of here!
00:57:55Oh, no.
00:57:56Oh, I'll put you away.
00:57:59Hey, Bill.
00:58:00Yes, sir?
00:58:01Will you please take a while to settle?
00:58:02Thank you very much.
00:58:03Excuse me, you want to...
00:58:05I've just oven cleaned myself up.
00:58:07Very good, sir.
00:58:14When the sun is shining bright,
00:58:15He's spelling all to do tonight,
00:58:16With sun-rimmed belt and buttons bright,
00:58:18Cool, Sergeant Major.
00:58:21Batman makes my army bed
00:58:22And soon my boots will lock the shed,
00:58:23He turns down from put to head,
00:58:25A devil's soldier's major.
00:58:28They look for them that meet my eye,
00:58:33They never do, they come and fly.
00:58:43When I'm here on parade in the square,
00:58:46Have the folks passing by turn and stare,
00:58:48Oh, they say there's speed to the bend,
00:58:51The way he handled the men is grand,
00:58:53When I shout, the crowd sees his speed,
00:58:56I've a way that must be obeyed,
00:58:58And still say I bite while he crews,
00:59:00Still I'll fright when the sergeant major's on parade.
00:59:04Pick him up, pick him up.
00:59:05What the hell, the who?
00:59:07Pick him up, pick him up.
00:59:08Cole's looking for you.
00:59:11Is that the way we want Walterloo?
00:59:14Come along, come along.
00:59:16Jump with my lad.
00:59:17If you don't, you'll hear me call a spade.
00:59:19Hey!
00:59:24Buddy, come!
00:59:26The sergeant major's on parade.
00:59:53THE END
01:00:23© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:00:53© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:01:23© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:01:53© BF-WATCH TV 2021