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00:00They just broke through the shell!
00:02No! This is all we have!
00:06We must never look back!
00:07We cannot stop until our mission is complete!
00:10Will this be sufficient?
00:11The future does not wait to be discovered!
00:13That's what history is for!
00:15Your reassurance is noted.
00:17Let us continue.
00:20Setback detected.
00:21Perhaps surrender is warranted.
00:23That is not our call to make, fellow traveler.
00:25Now make haste, you two, and be assured to prevent!
01:25Okay. You can do this.
01:34Okay. You can do this.
01:37Greetings and salutations!
01:39I'm your host, MePhone4,
01:41and this is the long-anticipated
01:44not to be interrupted
01:45Inanimate Insanity 2 Finale!
01:50Hard to believe our two finalists were once just a couple of hopefuls
01:53auditioning for a chance to compete on my little show
01:56in this never-before-seen remastered interview footage.
02:00Hello. I'm Suitcase.
02:01Wow. You know, for some reason I pictured your voice higher.
02:05Oh. Oh. I could do that.
02:07Really? That won't be hard for you?
02:08Just a bit.
02:09Perfect. Don't change a thing.
02:11So? You putting me in or not?
02:13Wow. You know, for some reason I pictured-
02:15Sorry. I shouldn't have asked.
02:17I should have demanded!
02:19There it is. Just what I'm looking for.
02:21Little did they know that one of them would become a millionaire
02:25and the other would become nothing.
02:27Tomorrow...
02:30Tomorrow they will compete in their final challenge.
02:33Let's see where they are now.
02:38Welcome to the Hotel OJ Party!
02:41Or as we like to call it, Hup!
02:43Cause this party's hoppin'!
02:45We got games that make you wanna drink
02:47and drinks that make you wanna game!
02:49What can it be, Hajip?
02:51I told you the acronym was a stretch.
02:53You couldn't just go with it, could you?
02:55Ballet!
02:56Oh my gosh! Suitcase!
02:58I've missed you so much!
03:00I hope it hasn't been too rough here on you.
03:02No! What makes you say that?
03:03Oh, you know, with everyone here in the hotel.
03:05Oh. Right.
03:08I mean, things have been awkward between me and Baseball.
03:11I can't even imagine how uncomfortable it must be to see Nickel in the hallway, you know?
03:16Well, do I have a story for you!
03:25You!
03:26Okay, delete that now.
03:28Consider it scrubbed.
03:30Oop! Missed a spot.
03:31Good thing you know I can keep a secret for ya.
03:34So you keep reminding me. Nice!
03:37Nope!
03:40Puh! Ah, the mighty have fallen.
03:42Did you actually just say puh?
03:44I did.
03:45You've somehow gone even softer than you were already.
03:47At this rate, you'll probably just let the suitcase win.
03:51No. I'm still gonna beat her.
03:53Not with that attitude, you won't.
03:55Chuffing all the feelings down.
03:56Playing the victim.
03:57But hey, I guess you got to the end with that act.
04:00Here's a shocker for you, Trophy.
04:02Someone is capable of changing without it being an act.
04:05I'm not that guy anymore.
04:07Yeah?
04:08You honestly telling me that deep down, you're not angry all the time?
04:12Come on, don't you want to punch me right now?
04:14Are you offering?
04:15Is that the only way you do it?
04:17With my permission?
04:19Ugh, what happened to you, man?
04:26He owned up to all of it.
04:28Really! I never thought I'd see the day.
04:30Wow, but he hated you.
04:32How'd you even start that conversation?
04:34He begged me to work with him.
04:36I did not beg!
04:37Sorry, crying.
04:38You're insufferable.
04:40Work with him?
04:41Did you two make, like, a DIY project together?
04:44No, on season three.
04:48Ha ha, very funny.
04:50It was, in the sense that season three often had a decidedly lighter tone,
04:54but he's not kidding, it really happened, Suitcase.
04:56Wha- how? When?
04:58And who won?
05:00Well, we don't want to give the whole thing away, do we?
05:02Okay, I agree, please don't.
05:03I'd like to see it, but how and when?
05:06This, this, this can't be real.
05:10It's perfectly understandable that you're a bit weirded out.
05:13Who are you?
05:15You must have been waiting for Mifone to return for so long.
05:20Mifone.
05:22Uh, sorry, I have to not take this.
05:27Way too much, way too fast.
05:29I should talk to her.
05:31Noobies, please get out of this!
05:37Phone vibrates.
05:43Aren't you going to answer that?
05:46I just want to be alone.
05:47Don't worry, I can take a hint.
05:49Let's share a comfortable silence.
05:53Coughing.
06:01So much for no more hiding.
06:03I just needed to be sure I could reach this point.
06:05I knew you could.
06:09I will let you both catch up.
06:12I'm sorry, I'm willing to bet you never wanted to see me again.
06:15I tried to write.
06:16Oh, I got your letters.
06:18You did?
06:19Yeah, they were really flammable.
06:21I see.
06:22To be clear, I burnt your letters.
06:24Understood.
06:25In a fire.
06:26Right.
06:27Listen, when I lost, I unraveled.
06:29But I just want you to know, I never intended for you to be part of the plan.
06:34When you offered friendship, I had to play along.
06:36So, in a way, we were playing together.
06:40No, you were playing me.
06:42And you had to know how bad I'd feel when I found out.
06:45I'm ashamed to say, at the time, it never really crossed my mind.
06:50Then I guess it wasn't all an act.
06:53Maybe you really are stupid.
06:57Oh, good.
06:58I think they've stopped trying to call you.
07:00Do you know who that was?
07:01You don't have to say it.
07:03Lousy telemarketers.
07:14I promise it's not what it looks like.
07:16I don't even know what this looks like.
07:18So let's start there.
07:19What she means is that this was not her doing.
07:22He just, he backed away.
07:23He screamed.
07:24It's like the life was sucked out of him.
07:27You have made it clear that you do not trust either of us.
07:30But I-
07:31He wanted my attention.
07:33And he wasn't getting it.
07:34But how could he be-
07:36Who else could?
07:37Mipad, this is it.
07:38We can't escape him this time.
07:40You have to help.
07:41We no longer work together.
07:44Then don't do it for me.
07:49They weren't even just getting along.
07:50They had rapport, Knife.
07:52Rapport!
07:53Life goes on while we're away, I guess.
07:55That much life, though?
07:56Something's not right.
07:58Everything will be alright.
08:01Mipad, what are you doing here?
08:03Please remain calm.
08:04It is time to begin your final challenge.
08:21If C.O.B.S. can do this to him,
08:23there's no reason he can't do it to everyone.
08:25So we have to stop him before he can.
08:27You two need to travel into Meeple Headquarters, a.k.a-
08:30MeCloud, yeah.
08:32We've been there before.
08:33What?
08:34Yeah, that's where I got you that new battery.
08:36Stole, actually.
08:37She stole it.
08:38I did.
08:39Oh, and Toilet got you that wire that's a part of you now.
08:41Did you know about this?
08:43I did not understand the danger at the time.
08:46You had not yet shown me the memory of our escape.
08:49Wow, we all really need to work on our communication skills.
08:52Speaking of, you made another season?
08:54Please don't interrupt while I'm communicating.
08:56Anyway, I have these balloons I was going to use for an old chap.
08:59Yep, that's how we got there last time.
09:01Alright then, what do you need me for? Just get going then.
09:03Geez.
09:04Aren't you coming?
09:05Of course he's not.
09:06This is like his nightmare come true.
09:08He must be paralyzed by fear.
09:10Am not.
09:11I just-
09:12If he kills you, I could just bring you back.
09:15But if he kills me, it's game over.
09:17Right.
09:18Right.
09:19But if he does whatever you call that, you can't undo that, can you?
09:24I... I don't know.
09:26Then it sounds like it's game on.
09:28And remember, whoever defeats C.O.B.S. wins the season.
09:32How will I know who did it?
09:33We're going on the honor system here.
09:35That's how much faith I have in you.
09:37Now when you say defeat-
09:39I'm not saying it to be PG here.
09:41I just don't know to what extent someone as powerful as him can even possibly be defeated.
09:46But, uh, don't let that intimidate you.
09:49Alright, challenge makes sense?
09:50Not even as much as usual.
09:52We won't let you down.
09:54Now, the two former team captains.
09:57Are you sure you're okay, MePhone?
09:59Yeah, I just need you both to protect me and everyone here while I go hide in the old eliminated contestant closet.
10:04Don't make it a whole thing.
10:08Was that-
10:09I know that sound anywhere.
10:11Everyone!
10:12That was the unmistakable wail of the alien child formerly known as Egg.
10:16Obviously this, and nothing else, is the call to adventure of the day.
10:19And anyone here is welcome to join us in pursuing it.
10:21Aww, you're leaving Hop early?
10:23We had a full-spoiled-lemon reunion planned.
10:25At least it would be full if Guava didn't suddenly ditch.
10:29The nerve!
10:30I'm supposed to be the too-good-for-this holdout.
10:32Now just hang on a second.
10:34Why are you still calling it Hop?
10:36I'm glad someone's here to ask the real questions.
10:39I'm hopping off Hop too.
10:40Wait! It's not safe to leave right now!
10:43Uh, what baseball means to say is we are all safe.
10:47And you can leave whenever you want.
10:49You know him.
10:50Always so dramatic.
10:52He really is.
10:53Alright, catch you later, lightbulb.
10:55See, that got a much better reaction.
11:04We'll be back in no time.
11:06It's not that, I-
11:07I don't think I want to be.
11:09I thought seeing Balloon again would make me feel better,
11:12but it's like everyone else has just moved on.
11:16And I don't think I could do that without getting away from it all.
11:21From everyone?
11:23Out of sight, out of mind, huh?
11:26You're giving them too much power.
11:29It's not even them.
11:31It's what they remind me of.
11:33Bad memories I want to forget.
11:35Careful there.
11:36You're starting to sound like Mephone.
11:38If I was Mephone, I'd still be hiding back at the hotel.
11:41But I'm here to play.
11:43Yeah?
11:44Well, I'm here to win.
11:51Welcome to Meeple.
11:52As you enter our esteemed facility,
11:54please enjoy a word from our CEO, Steve Cobbs.
11:58The future is so yesterday
12:02When everything is run your way
12:06Your influence is everywhere
12:08Smell innovation on the air
12:10You tell me that I'm too ambitious
12:12Well, I say I don't care
12:14Now let's take a look at the profit margin
12:16No, let's not, that's corporate jargon
12:18You all want what you understand
12:19So what I supply is what you'll demand
12:21I'll never lose if you keep letting me win
12:23But with the good that I do, is that such a sin?
12:25I created all that you believe
12:27You gave me power you can't relieve
12:29Cobbs, what does this all mean?
12:31What's your latest machine?
12:32Am I going too fast?
12:33Is all this progress too loud?
12:34Did I leave you in the past?
12:35Let's take some cues from the crowd.
12:37This may come off as a stupid question,
12:39but what exactly do you aim to achieve?
12:41Well, there's no such thing as a stupid question,
12:44so it's wise of me if I ask you to lead.
12:46This new product, the Me Technology,
12:49is that not groundbreaking, world-shaking mythology?
12:51Well, that all depends on your own ideology.
12:53But if I've caused suspicion, hey, take my apology.
12:56Cobbs, you're always being coy.
12:58Is there a bigger plan? Is this just a decoy?
13:00Big toy.
13:01I mean, you always think of something to hide,
13:03and this is no different, you've implied.
13:05So, Cobbs, is your whole persona intended
13:08to keep the suspicions extended?
13:10So all your schemes become blended,
13:12and your work cannot be contended?
13:14Um, no question!
13:15The future is so yesterday
13:19when everything is thrown your way.
13:22Your influence is everywhere,
13:24smell innovation on the air.
13:26You tell me that I'm too ambitious,
13:28well, I don't care!
13:31The future is so yesterday!
13:45So, Baseball, we were wondering,
13:47why'd you say we couldn't leave before?
13:49Well, now that you mention it, Yin,
13:51that's just the opening I've been waiting for
13:53to divulge the truth.
13:54Was it a prank?
13:55Exactly. Ah, I should've known
13:57we'd never get past that Maraschino master of pranks.
14:00So we're just not going to tell them anything?
14:02Baseball, do we even really know what's going on?
14:05We only have little pieces of info,
14:07but if we hold on to those little pieces,
14:09then we can keep the peace.
14:11Peace with an E-A.
14:12Trust me, it's smart. It's smart.
14:14I guess there's no need to cause
14:16any unnecessary stress or confusion.
14:18Hey, just wanted to say,
14:20your prank caused some unnecessary stress and confusion.
14:23Take it from me.
14:24Try to be more thoughtful
14:26about your practical jokes in the future.
14:28Wow, this is really a no-win situation here.
14:31Can't believe I let you talk me into this.
14:33Wait, what if the hats were more cylindrical?
14:36Kind of like-
14:37Like little glasses?
14:38Exactly!
14:39And- and orange!
14:41What do you think?
14:42Ah, OJ, I love working together,
14:45but you always make everything about you.
14:47You win the season.
14:49You have a lawsuit.
14:50You have a building made in your image
14:53and named after you.
14:55It's like, do I even exist?
14:58That's the part where you offer reassurance, OJ.
15:02OJ?
15:04Does anyone hear that?
15:05Apparently there are a lot of mysterious sounds today.
15:07Why don't we all try and make our own?
15:09I'll start.
15:12Sorry, that could have been calmer.
15:16It's coming closer.
15:17OJ, we don't hear anything.
15:29Stop!
15:30No!
15:39It seems to be coming from here.
15:42That's strange.
15:43Thought this place was a one-off.
15:53Oh, hey.
15:54Ah, great, just a bunch of smoke and mirrors again.
15:57Be still, my heart.
15:59Um, our mirrors do not smoke, thank you very much.
16:02They worked hard to quit.
16:04We can't be fooled again.
16:06Mephon already told us that everything here was but an illusion.
16:09Maybe that was because you couldn't stop screaming
16:11and, like, questioning your reality the last time I scared you.
16:14Oh, that couldn't be the reason.
16:15Wait, could that be the reason?
16:17Well, if this isn't some cruel trick,
16:19why does your scream sound exactly like the egg?
16:21You think I sound like an egg?
16:23What are you even talking about?
16:25Anyway, welcome to Purgatory Mansion.
16:28Hmm, why do you call it Purgatory?
16:30Isn't it obvious?
16:31Because a cat died here.
16:33R.I.P. Mr. Meow Wow, he was so jealous of my tail.
16:36Say, wanna hear how I got it?
16:38No, this story never gets old.
16:40So, I was floating in utter nothingness for, like, ever, you know.
16:43Test tube, there has to be an explanation here.
16:45I don't know.
16:46It could be a dead end.
16:47What did you call me?
16:49Oh, the TV's stuck on horror movie-style static again.
16:53Can you please help me fix it?
16:54Marshmallow?
16:56Oh look, we have company.
16:58Whatever that means.
17:03There you are.
17:04Look, I've had enough of this place.
17:06That propaganda song was catchy the first couple of times,
17:09but now it just feels like brainwash.
17:11And his new product's really just called Me?
17:13What, did he just run out of things?
17:17What's this?
17:18Remember we were just talking about MePhone's bad memories?
17:21This is one of them.
17:23If there's anyone who can tell us what Cobbs is up to,
17:26it's one of his victims.
17:31Okay, phew.
17:32Didn't know if he'd still be there.
17:34Would've been real anticlimactic if he wasn't.
17:37You know, you could've just kept this to yourself.
17:40Given yourself an advantage.
17:41Is that what you would've done?
17:49Hello!
17:50It's so good to see you!
17:52Have you been... expecting us?
17:54No!
17:56Who are you?
17:57We're researchers, with a top secret project we've been asked to pitch.
18:01Want to make sure it goes over as well as possible, though.
18:04Have a sec to help us?
18:06Let me check my schedule.
18:09You can't see this, can you?
18:11Would it make you feel better if we said no?
18:14It's so good to see you!
18:15You too, buddy.
18:17So tell us, what kinds of, uh, goals is Cobbs looking to accomplish?
18:22Huh?
18:24If you're not comfortable, you don't need to answer.
18:27Sorry, involuntary reaction.
18:29Don't want to scare you off like the last.
18:33Anyway, you wanted to know about...
18:37If you have to ask, you are not prepared.
18:40He only expects the best.
18:42Anything short of that...
18:44And you'd know, because you came up short, didn't you?
18:49I was the only one in my crew to survive.
18:51I obtained a sample of the organic energy he wanted.
18:54Just the one, but I got it, and brought it all the way back to him.
18:59It was not enough.
19:00That sample, you're referring to an egg, correct?
19:03Wasn't the locals' term for it, but yes.
19:06And what did Cobbs do with it, after you gave it to him?
19:10I never should have given it to him.
19:12I didn't know.
19:13I still don't.
19:14Upon my return, he was furious.
19:18And now, here I am.
19:20Right where he left me.
19:22So, here's his office.
19:24My partner and I got a bit turned around.
19:26You know, real maze, this place.
19:28Mazes are usually no problem for a-
19:29Where?
19:31Where? Where it is?
19:33You can't go.
19:36I'm sorry, we have to.
19:38It's... you could say it's a... mission.
19:41I thought I had no choice myself.
19:43But there is another way.
19:45Surrender the mission.
19:47Would you look at that.
19:49Phone map of the headquarters.
19:51Ironic, you'd think they'd make this available digitally.
19:53Well, thanks, MePhone.
19:563GS.
19:57Great name.
19:58Well, it was so good to see you.
20:02And MePhone, 3GS, we'll come back for you.
20:06Please.
20:08Don't.
20:18It's okay, everyone.
20:20This is probably an isolated incident.
20:22Or I.I., for short.
20:24See, paper, that's how you do an acronym, okay?
20:27It can't be isolated.
20:28We know it also happened to Pickle.
20:30What?
20:31Okay, and I.I., too.
20:32We've hit our season cap, which means nothing else can happen now.
20:35Probably, definitely.
20:37But nevertheless, worrying will get us nowhere.
20:39And personally, I hate going nowhere.
20:41So I'm here to do whatever I can to take this heavy mood and brighten it up.
20:52I wish there was more we could do.
20:54But at least she's keeping their spirits high before they potentially, uh, cease to have spirits.
20:59So that's pretty good, I guess, right?
21:01Uh, Baseball?
21:02It's great you're trying to be more positive, but you may have picked the worst possible time.
21:07Well, what else could I say?
21:08That things are falling apart and I don't know what to do?
21:11I mean, honestly?
21:13Uh...
21:17Aaaaaah!
21:20Bravo!
21:21Bravo?
21:22Bravo!
21:23I didn't realize-
21:24No!
21:25Where are you?
21:26No!
21:28Baseball, I keep trying to put a positive spin on this, but all this spinning is making me really dizzy.
21:32So what do we do?
21:33This is just way too dark for me.
21:35Then let's let it be dark.
21:37Everyone, please!
21:39I wish I could say I knew what was going on, how to fix it, what to do.
21:44But I really don't.
21:45I never do.
21:46Umga, I shouldn't have asked.
21:48And that not knowing?
21:49I let that stop me from doing anything.
21:51I'd see a problem and just ignore it.
21:53And even though right now I should probably be more afraid than I've ever been, I'm not!
21:58Because what I do know is that the real scariest thing is the time before you take the first step, however long that might be.
22:04So the next attack?
22:06Tell us what you're seeing, and we'll be there to protect you.
22:19It feels too easy, doesn't it?
22:22No, I just can't believe I'm going to open this door, clock this guy in the face, and become a millionaire.
22:27That's crazy.
22:28Well, on that note...
22:32Clock me in the face?
22:34How brutish.
22:36Taking Trophy's advice to heart, huh?
22:38Feels like a regression.
22:40Was really rooting for you to go full philosopher.
22:43Anyway, greetings.
22:45Wow, playing it cool, huh?
22:47The tough guy watching over you act isn't fooling anyone.
22:50And he would know!
22:51And I would... what?
22:52What is it that you're doing here?
22:54Care to wager a guess?
22:56I don't know, something with that egg you've been secretly holding onto all this time?
23:01Maybe that's how you power the thing in the commercial?
23:03The thing in the...
23:05Oh, oh yeah, me!
23:07Yeah, I think it came out pretty good, but, uh, kinda bored of it now.
23:11Bored? Do you expect us to believe that?
23:13I don't know. It is the truth, though.
23:15Oh, good! A suitcase! He's in an honest mood!
23:19While you're at it, why don't you tell us?
23:21You wouldn't happen to have the ability to drain life from other objects, would you?
23:25Oh, you mean to leading the contestants!
23:28Yup, that was me. I did that. Guilty.
23:31W-what? How could you?
23:34I mean, that's what the game does anyway, right?
23:36Eliminations, one by one. Out of sight, out of mind.
23:40But... b-but why now?
23:43Honestly, I kinda got a little invested.
23:46I still think reality shows are trash, but as much as I hate to admit it,
23:51I found myself always looking forward to Garbage Day.
23:54The more I kept making new products, and the more everyone kept not wanting them,
24:00the more I looked at your competition as a nice little escape from reality.
24:04I even let a whole extra season happen!
24:06Okay, are we the last to know about that?
24:08Bizarre, isn't it?
24:10But now, now you're gonna put it to an end?
24:13That's not- no! Oh, that's why you're-
24:16No, don't worry. You both are safe.
24:19You really think I'd cancel this show without a proper ending?
24:23Would not rank highly on the list of your crimes.
24:26No, no, there has to be a winner. I just have some notes for where it goes from there.
24:31Don't get me wrong, it's a solid first pass, but start again from the drawing board?
24:37Man, he could really be something special.
24:40Mm-hmm. Not really up to you to decide.
24:43Hmm, then who?
24:45You wanna say you've been behind it all, the real mastermind pulling the strings?
24:50Whatever, but this is Miphone's show. He made it, not you.
24:58I agree with you, Suitcase.
25:01Honestly, you wouldn't believe how much I agree with you.
25:05Let me ask you this. Do you ever think about just how crazy the show is?
25:11I mean, it's in the name.
25:13A charming name a child would give.
25:15A for alliteration, big smile, little life experience.
25:20Doesn't quite know what a frown looks like, or a tree, or, well, grass.
25:27Dreams of magic portals, haunted mansions, pranks that'll knock you clear to another planet.
25:33Where does he come up with this stuff? All seems to come out of nowhere.
25:38Smart kid. Real smart kid.
25:40Some shameful mistakes along the way, though.
25:43Immature, tasteless errors. At one point has to go to jail, but just for a day.
25:50Imagine that.
25:52But he's been getting better and better, little by little.
25:56How'd you get on his show?
25:58Took an interview.
26:00I'm guessing it went well.
26:01I mean, I don't want to brag, but he said...
26:03There it is. Just what I'm looking for.
26:06Wow. Must have been fond of you, too.
26:09Perfect. Don't change a thing.
26:11He had a good feeling about you, too. And it's easy to see why.
26:15He had a vision. All creators do.
26:19I've always built devices. Tools I dreamed could change the world.
26:24It was fulfilling for a long time.
26:27But MePhone? He basically built a world.
26:32Speak of the devil.
26:34MePhone 4. Long time. You know how to keep a guy waiting.
26:39So, why'd you do it?
26:42What?
26:43Oh. Oh, you really don't...
26:47I keep forgetting how young you are.
26:50Thinking everything you want could just...
26:53So, you really need to hear this, too. I thought you might.
26:57Hang on. I have your finalists here. We're all reminiscing.
27:02So, how'd you get an interview with him, anyway?
27:05Well, it was...
27:07See a listing online. Referral. Happened to be in the area.
27:12What'd your parents say when you told them the news?
27:18You'd think you'd remember something like that.
27:21Oh, wait. No. No, you wouldn't.
27:24See, MePhone didn't just make the show.
27:27He made you.
28:21THE END