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00:01:25Great, thank you very much.
00:01:28What the hell, dude?
00:01:30Spare change.
00:01:32Hey, you saw what happened.
00:01:34Can I get another milkshake?
00:01:36Fuck you.
00:01:39♪♪
00:01:49Skeleton Army has betrayed you.
00:01:52They now dance to your agony as you burn to ashes.
00:01:55You are dead.
00:01:57That's harsh.
00:01:59You want to know what's harsh?
00:02:01This dead meat asking me for money
00:02:03with gold teeth in his mouth.
00:02:05Unbelievable.
00:02:07Wait, take this, take this.
00:02:09Watch it, Freddy.
00:02:11This is a limited floral cover edition.
00:02:14He doesn't care.
00:02:17He doesn't care.
00:02:19He doesn't care.
00:02:21He doesn't care.
00:02:23He doesn't care.
00:02:25He doesn't care.
00:02:27He doesn't care.
00:02:29He doesn't care.
00:02:31Don't put that in your mouth, Freddy.
00:02:33Why not? What, are you a zomophobe now?
00:02:35Stop doing this, okay?
00:02:37You're gonna get us in trouble.
00:02:39Survival of the strongest.
00:02:41Survival of the fittest.
00:02:43Whatever, dude, okay? He doesn't need it. I do.
00:02:45You need nasty gold teeth.
00:02:47No, I need cash, okay?
00:02:49Besides, what do zombies need money for anyway?
00:02:51I guess earning money is all they ever did
00:02:53when they were alive.
00:02:55What a bunch of losers.
00:02:57Oh, time to work.
00:03:01Ahem.
00:03:03Hey, Maggie.
00:03:05Hey, shit face.
00:03:07I got another pickup for you,
00:03:09and don't fuck it up this time.
00:03:11Don't fuck up this...
00:03:13No, we're not gonna fuck up this time.
00:03:15Here's the info, Maggie.
00:03:17Ladies and gentlemen, the dead are back.
00:03:35There's no flesh-eating behavior,
00:03:37nor hunger for brain.
00:03:39They're just...
00:03:41here.
00:03:43And that's the real disaster, isn't it?
00:03:45So you're saying
00:03:47we have to relearn our behaviors
00:03:49towards living dead?
00:03:51The less offensive term would be
00:03:53living impaired.
00:03:55What do you think, folks?
00:03:57I lost my job.
00:03:59They don't sleep.
00:04:01How the fuck can we compete
00:04:03with these damn zombies?
00:04:05Population has dramatically grown
00:04:07by 175% within the last six months.
00:04:09It is now illegal for people
00:04:11to dig up their loved ones.
00:04:13Zombies you like to fuck.
00:04:15Protests are rising
00:04:17all over the world
00:04:19as the undead claim equal rights.
00:04:21I'm Brad Thompson for Colman News.
00:04:23Good night,
00:04:25and God bless America.
00:04:35We're invincible!
00:04:43Mr. McKenna, hi.
00:04:45Colman's Retirement Services
00:04:47for the living impaired.
00:04:49You called us?
00:04:51Yes, thank you for coming so promptly.
00:04:53You guys are fast.
00:04:55Now, I want you to know
00:04:57that we do love him dearly,
00:04:59and it was a hard decision
00:05:01for us to make.
00:05:03We totally understand, sir.
00:05:05You see, it's my father-in-law,
00:05:07and it's important for my wife
00:05:09that he be treated with dignity.
00:05:11That is our policy.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:15My wife is very fragile emotionally,
00:05:17so if you...
00:05:19Oh!
00:05:25What did you do?
00:05:27I swear, if you shot him in the brain,
00:05:29I...
00:05:33That was close.
00:05:35How many times do I need to tell you?
00:05:37No more shooting at Pop-Pop!
00:05:39Say it yourself.
00:05:41Pop-Pop's just a fucking zombie.
00:05:45Kids.
00:05:47No.
00:05:49Pop-Pop is living impaired.
00:05:51And living impaired
00:05:53have rights,
00:05:55so you can't shoot them, okay?
00:05:57He's just like a...
00:05:59Like a retard, hmm?
00:06:01Like a...
00:06:03Like a retard, hmm?
00:06:05Uh, we don't shoot retards, do we?
00:06:09No, we don't.
00:06:11Listen, uh, sir, I don't want to be mean
00:06:13and put pressure on you, but we're on the clock.
00:06:15Yes, uh, I'm sorry.
00:06:17Please proceed with the extraction.
00:06:19Um...
00:06:23Okay.
00:06:27Are you sure this is necessary?
00:06:29They're professionals, honey.
00:06:33I think we got him.
00:06:35Careful, guys. That chair's priceless.
00:06:37Yeah, yeah.
00:06:39This ugly bastard is stronger than he looks.
00:06:49Totally normal.
00:06:57Hey.
00:06:59Like new.
00:07:01That's what I had to deal with every day.
00:07:03Okay.
00:07:05I'm just gonna need a signature right here.
00:07:07Let's just proceed to payment.
00:07:09Uh...
00:07:11Jeez. Ah.
00:07:13The car reader.
00:07:15It's messed up again, man.
00:07:17Oh, what the heck is that? That's really weird.
00:07:19I'm so sorry about this, sir.
00:07:21Mind paying cash?
00:07:23Here you go.
00:07:27You did the right choice.
00:07:29Hey, pleasure doing business with you, dude.
00:07:31I mean, sir.
00:07:33Bye-bye now.
00:07:35All right.
00:07:37All right.
00:07:59Hello. Hi.
00:08:01Mr. McKenna, Coleman Retirement Services
00:08:03for the Living Impaired.
00:08:05I believe your colleagues
00:08:07have already taken...
00:08:09Honey?
00:08:11Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:13Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:15Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:17Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:19Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:21Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:23Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:25Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:27Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:29Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:31Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:33Carl!
00:08:35My man.
00:08:37Freddy.
00:08:39You're getting depressingly uninspiring.
00:08:41What do you mean?
00:08:43Don't worry about it.
00:08:45What am I supposed to do with this?
00:08:47Come on, Don.
00:08:49It's not that bad.
00:08:51It's not that bad?
00:08:53His head is holding on a pogo stick.
00:08:55Exactly, which makes him, uh...
00:08:57inspiring.
00:08:59Yeah, like the, uh,
00:09:01the magnificent, head-spinning zombie dude!
00:09:03Whoa!
00:09:05Wow!
00:09:07Oh, see? Art.
00:09:09You wouldn't know art if it bit you on the ass.
00:09:11I'm not going to take this one.
00:09:13Don.
00:09:15Or at least not at full price.
00:09:17You have the certificate of termination and everything.
00:09:19I mean, you can do whatever you want with him.
00:09:21You know, uh, no one cares.
00:09:23I'll give you half.
00:09:25What?
00:09:27Take it or leave it.
00:09:29That is an insult. There's no deal.
00:09:31Come on, Carl, we'll leave.
00:09:33Fine. You win. Half price.
00:09:35What are you doing?
00:09:37Her broke, remember?
00:09:39Oh, my.
00:09:41You have the softest hands.
00:09:43I moisturize.
00:09:49Oh, hi.
00:09:51I'm Bob Coleman.
00:09:53And for years,
00:09:55we've been studying the most complex structure
00:09:57of the universe.
00:09:59The human brain.
00:10:03Each second,
00:10:05100 billion neurons
00:10:07are sending 10,000 electrochemical signals,
00:10:09making us behave
00:10:11the way we do.
00:10:13That's why
00:10:15this cute little guy
00:10:17That's why this cute little creature
00:10:19makes you feel warm
00:10:21and fuzzy inside.
00:10:23At Coleman,
00:10:25we're dedicated to unlocking
00:10:27the secrets of the mind.
00:10:29Help the research.
00:10:31Donate your loved ones
00:10:33through our retirement services
00:10:35for the living impaired.
00:10:47Great.
00:10:49Bye.
00:10:53Your vampire hero
00:10:55stands before Shiva,
00:10:57the last god of evil.
00:10:59And...
00:11:03Shiva the Destroyer
00:11:05destroys Dracula.
00:11:07Huh.
00:11:09Why don't you just skip ahead?
00:11:11I don't know.
00:11:13I don't know.
00:11:15Huh. Why don't you just skip to the end?
00:11:17What are you talking about? That'd be cheating.
00:11:19The whole book is cheating.
00:11:21I mean, look at Dracula. He's all thin
00:11:23and handsome. He has to be thin
00:11:25and handsome. No, no, no, no. See, blood is
00:11:27super rich, dude. I mean, he'd be fat.
00:11:29Or at the very least, chubby.
00:11:31Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, listen.
00:11:33Do you think Dracula, the king
00:11:35of the undead, would be fat?
00:11:39That is exactly
00:11:41why I don't hang out with you guys.
00:11:43This and that ugly hat.
00:11:45This? This is a hunter's hat,
00:11:47and I'm hunting, so
00:11:49it's appropriate. Huh. And I thank God
00:11:51every day we didn't come from the same ball sack.
00:11:53Oh, thank you. That's nice.
00:11:55Hey, Maggie.
00:11:57Got you a milkshake.
00:11:59Why? You know I don't drink milk.
00:12:01Well, milk builds strong bones.
00:12:03I'm lactose intolerant, Freddie.
00:12:05No, I don't mind farts.
00:12:07Farts are natural. Stop.
00:12:09Carl, just hand me my share.
00:12:13Uncle Gary!
00:12:15There's an ear in my fries!
00:12:17Again! Yeah, I told the cook
00:12:19about it, but he couldn't hear me.
00:12:21Ha ha ha ha!
00:12:23Good one! I'm gonna leave you
00:12:25a bad review. This time I'm serious.
00:12:27Carl?
00:12:29Yep?
00:12:31You're short.
00:12:33Oh, yeah.
00:12:35Um, funny story.
00:12:37Don, he paid us half
00:12:39because it was damaged goods, and
00:12:41that's not her fault, technically.
00:12:43So, uh... Are you pissing down my back
00:12:45and calling it lame?
00:12:47No.
00:12:49We're not into that thing.
00:12:51It's a metaphor, you dumbass.
00:12:53Look, can't you just trust me for once?
00:12:55Trust? Yeah.
00:12:57Listen to your brother. You know it's telling the truth.
00:12:59Oh, oh, did you hear that?
00:13:01I even kept it... Hey!
00:13:03You're a lying piece of shit, Carl.
00:13:05You're a lying piece of shit, Carl.
00:13:07That's collectible.
00:13:09Maybe we might
00:13:11have beheaded
00:13:13the pickup. Hey, hey.
00:13:15Hey, traitor. See, I knew it!
00:13:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:19And this is horseshit, okay?
00:13:21We're the ones doing all the hard work while you sit on your fat ass all day,
00:13:23and I... Oh, really?
00:13:25Ow! On my knee!
00:13:27Really, can you act in a Coleman system?
00:13:29Any of you?
00:13:31I guess you'd ask Captain Galacticus to do it.
00:13:33No, Captain Galacticus would ask Meta to do it.
00:13:35Well, then I'm Meta. He's the muscle,
00:13:37the prick getting a free ride.
00:13:39Wait, you're leaving already?
00:13:41Yeah, I've had my dose of cheese dicks
00:13:43for one day. Anyway,
00:13:45I got a date.
00:13:47A date with who? Later.
00:13:49We were supposed to celebrate.
00:13:51Hey, thanks a lot, Junius.
00:13:53For your information,
00:13:55I know exactly what a metamorph is.
00:13:57Metaphor. Meta...
00:13:59Metaphor. Metaflore. Yeah, there you go.
00:14:01Metaflore.
00:14:07Metaflore.
00:14:27By all means, finish your cracker.
00:14:33This is one of Coleman's biggest processing
00:14:35plants worldwide.
00:14:37In order for operations to run smoothly
00:14:39and for the company to profit,
00:14:41every employee must follow the chain
00:14:43of command with integrity, excellence,
00:14:45dedication,
00:14:47and initiative.
00:14:49We expect no less from our workers.
00:14:51And we won't hesitate to cut off
00:14:53dead weed
00:14:55in order to allow for
00:14:57stronger growth.
00:14:59That being said,
00:15:01do you know why you're here?
00:15:03We, um...
00:15:05We got our pickup stolen.
00:15:07Not just one pickup,
00:15:09Dave. Oh, actually,
00:15:11it's Stanley.
00:15:13Stanley.
00:15:15Over the last month, there
00:15:17have been a lot of
00:15:19missing pickups
00:15:21and repeated errors,
00:15:23all coming from
00:15:25your sector.
00:15:29Cracker?
00:15:31Mm-hmm.
00:15:33It's not our fault.
00:15:35We think some jackasses are posing
00:15:37as us and, uh...
00:15:39They're, um, stealing our
00:15:41pickups right before we get there. Coleman's pickups.
00:15:43Gentlemen, you are currently
00:15:45owing the company $25,000.
00:15:47And we're withholding your last pay
00:15:49until the situation is
00:15:51resolved.
00:15:53Understood?
00:15:55Understood, sir.
00:16:19Coming, dear!
00:16:21Good morning, Mrs. Neard.
00:16:23Is, uh, is Carl up? They're going to take me.
00:16:25What? Who?
00:16:27The doctors. They told me
00:16:29I was impaired.
00:16:31Nobody's going to take you, Mrs. Neard.
00:16:33I'm pretty sure you're not dead yet.
00:16:35Just tell them I won't be leaving my home.
00:16:37Oh, don't worry. I'll tell them.
00:16:39Good.
00:16:41Now, don't just stand there, darling.
00:16:43Come in. Okay. Great.
00:16:51Hey, big boy.
00:16:53Hey, you.
00:16:55Want to have boobs for breakfast?
00:16:57Oh.
00:16:59That'll be 200 credits, honey.
00:17:03I'm coming, baby.
00:17:07Love the sound of that.
00:17:09What are you going to do
00:17:11when Wild Green Goose
00:17:13walks on you?
00:17:15Whoa!
00:17:17Whoa!
00:17:19What are you doing?
00:17:21Whoa!
00:17:23And the crowd goes wild
00:17:25for Wild Green Goose!
00:17:27Whoa!
00:17:29Honey!
00:17:31What?
00:17:33What do you mean, what? I was busy!
00:17:35Don't look!
00:17:39You were masturbating?
00:17:41Yes, okay? Get out! Okay!
00:17:43Get out!
00:17:45I'll give you a couple minutes. That's...
00:17:47Fuck!
00:17:49Ugh!
00:17:55Ugh!
00:18:03Ugh!
00:18:05Are you busy, too?
00:18:07Yeah.
00:18:11So...
00:18:13Had a fun night?
00:18:15Yeah.
00:18:17It was the best fucking night of my life.
00:18:19Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
00:18:21Uh...
00:18:23So, um...
00:18:25Yeah.
00:18:27Maggie, I've been thinking
00:18:29a lot.
00:18:31I just wanted
00:18:33to say that you
00:18:35are so...
00:18:37Oh, hey.
00:18:43You guys ready for a pickup?
00:18:45Yes. Yes.
00:18:47Heck yeah.
00:18:49Uh, Carl's gonna need,
00:18:51like, five minutes.
00:18:53Why?
00:18:55Jeez.
00:18:59Is this really the place?
00:19:01Hey.
00:19:03You're my best friend, Carl.
00:19:05Can I get your honest opinion on something?
00:19:07Sure.
00:19:09Okay.
00:19:11So, you want my honest opinion
00:19:13on a rotten finger.
00:19:15No, dude, the ring.
00:19:17It's ugly.
00:19:19Happy?
00:19:21Hey, uh, I'm thinking about proposing
00:19:23to your sister. Half-sister.
00:19:25Wait, wait, wait! Yeah, I mean,
00:19:27I don't know. I-I feel ready,
00:19:29and I'm pretty sure she is, too.
00:19:31Don't you think you're skipping crucial
00:19:33steps here? You're not even dating.
00:19:35Oh, my God.
00:19:37And that whore thing stinks, man.
00:19:39Well, yeah, that's just the finger.
00:19:41It's the ring stuck to it. If I can get the ring off of the...
00:19:43Freddy, it says OG on it.
00:19:45It's a gangsta ring.
00:19:47And you know what, man?
00:19:49Dating a co-worker is unethical.
00:19:51Yeah.
00:19:53Especially my sister. Half-sister.
00:19:55Whatever, man. This conversation
00:19:57grosses me out.
00:19:59Maggie doesn't even like you.
00:20:03Freddy, I'm...
00:20:05I'm sorry, man. No, no. No, no, I'm sorry.
00:20:07You're probably right, because masturbating
00:20:09to zilfs on the Internet makes you a relationship expert.
00:20:11Oh, okay. You want to go there?
00:20:13Yeah, I want to go there.
00:20:15Let's go there.
00:20:21Ow!
00:20:29Rise and shine, ladies.
00:20:31What do we have here?
00:20:33Carl
00:20:35Neard.
00:20:37And, uh,
00:20:39Freddy Merckx.
00:20:41Crocodile Hunter's little brother
00:20:43and his, uh, hippo friend.
00:20:45Well, I'll have you know that hippos are actually one of the deadliest
00:20:47animals. Oh, shut up!
00:20:51And by the way, we're no longer friends.
00:20:53Really? You really want to do this now?
00:20:55I'm sorry. Do you guys hear something?
00:20:57Oh, because I don't hear anything. Freddy, they have guns!
00:20:59Yes, we have guns.
00:21:01Listen to your friend. He's not my friend.
00:21:05Shut up.
00:21:07Shut the hell up!
00:21:09Don't you two idiots want to know why you're here?
00:21:13Well, we're here for a pickup.
00:21:15Yes, I know.
00:21:17I called it in. It was a trap.
00:21:19Jesus.
00:21:21We know you two idiots stole from us
00:21:23the ring. Right, the gangster ring.
00:21:25That's Maggie's ring.
00:21:27She doesn't like you.
00:21:33This isn't working.
00:21:35Rocco, I don't think these guys understand
00:21:37what's going on here. Why don't you show them what we're capable of?
00:21:39No, no, no, no. We understand.
00:21:41It's fine. Rocco, this is not necessary.
00:21:43Please, please, no, no, please!
00:21:55I'm just not quite sure we're supposed
00:21:57to understand from that.
00:21:59Yeah, no, me neither.
00:22:01Shut up! You don't disrespect
00:22:03the wild gringo.
00:22:05Carl's
00:22:07grandma hits harder than that.
00:22:09Grandma, you say? She's sweet?
00:22:11She's the sweetest. Change of plans.
00:22:15Now,
00:22:17tell us again what happened.
00:22:19Listen, I have nothing against the living
00:22:21impaired, but one of those got
00:22:23naked in front of my six-year-old.
00:22:25Oh, come on. He doesn't even have
00:22:27a penis anymore. Well, I'm pretty sure
00:22:29I did see at least one testicle.
00:22:31Ladies, now,
00:22:33if you'll excuse me, we'll be back
00:22:35after these messages.
00:22:45Fucking slackers.
00:22:47Fuck.
00:23:01Really, guys?
00:23:05You're pissed drunk, aren't you?
00:23:07It was a trap. What? The pickup!
00:23:09The pickup was a trap! Yeah, there's blood.
00:23:11Is this blood? Is this my blood? I don't know.
00:23:13What the hell is that? I don't know!
00:23:15Oh, my God!
00:23:17What if it's a bomb?
00:23:19Okay, what are you guys on?
00:23:21Go on, press play! Are you insane?
00:23:23I think I'm gonna fall for that. Okay, I'll do it.
00:23:25No, Freddy, no! Come on, guys,
00:23:27it's not funny anymore, so, meh.
00:23:29No!
00:23:31No!
00:23:35Freddy!
00:23:37No, save me through His Highness!
00:23:39You know it! Please, please!
00:23:45We work for Coleman,
00:23:47and we've uncovered your shitty little scheme.
00:23:49Grandma?
00:23:51You've stolen $25,000
00:23:53worth of living impaired pickups.
00:23:55You know what?
00:23:57Make that $50,000
00:23:59for our troubles.
00:24:01We want the money back, or sweet old Greg over here
00:24:03goes bye-bye. I told you
00:24:05I will not be leaving my home.
00:24:07You have 24 hours.
00:24:09I'll call you.
00:24:12What kind of cheap,
00:24:14shot, fart knuckle asshole
00:24:16goes for your grandma?
00:24:18Okay, guys,
00:24:20we need a quick job that pays.
00:24:22A lot.
00:24:24Like what? Robbing a bank?
00:24:26Oh! Why don't you ask Stan to help us?
00:24:28No, I'm not interested in that. Yes.
00:24:30Yeah! No, no, no.
00:24:32I'm not sure how I feel about it.
00:24:34Why not? Super connected, and
00:24:36he really likes you, man.
00:24:38Yeah, exactly. I mean, he's very, you know,
00:24:40touchy-feely kind of guy, and it makes me
00:24:42uncomfortable. I don't like it.
00:24:44That's it?
00:24:46Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?
00:24:48Yeah, you're being super selfish. Oh.
00:24:50Carl,
00:24:52you gotta take one.
00:24:54For Granny.
00:25:11Jeez.
00:25:15Jeez or jizz?
00:25:17What?
00:25:21It's too pasty. Don't be so immature.
00:25:23Uh-huh.
00:25:25Carl,
00:25:27I'm glad you called.
00:25:29From what I understood,
00:25:31you're in deep,
00:25:33and it stinks.
00:25:35Ha-ha. Now that
00:25:37is an accurate metamorph, my good sir.
00:25:40Uh, Carl said you might
00:25:42have a job for us. I don't.
00:25:44But the boss does.
00:25:46A high-profile pick-up.
00:25:48So when do we meet him?
00:25:50You're about to.
00:25:54Ladies and gents,
00:25:56the mad artist of the macabre,
00:25:58the one and only
00:26:00Otto Maddox!
00:26:02Yes!
00:26:32Ooh!
00:26:40Ah, so it is art.
00:26:52This is a nice place.
00:26:54Bit dusty, but cozy.
00:26:56Listen up, Granny.
00:26:58Let me make this crystal clear for you.
00:27:00You do what I say.
00:27:02You don't run, you don't scream.
00:27:04It'll all be over in no time.
00:27:06But you try anything funny,
00:27:08and my friend Rocco over here
00:27:10is gonna impair you.
00:27:12Oh, I'm already impaired, dear,
00:27:14but thank you.
00:27:16I think I'm impaired, too.
00:27:18No shit, Sherlock.
00:27:20The Darwin Awards called. They say I have a trophy for you.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:24No, not really, Rocco. Jesus Christ!
00:27:26Look, I have shit to do. You keep an eye out for me,
00:27:28okay, while I'm gone. And...
00:27:30Stop playing with your gun.
00:27:34God!
00:27:36My doctor said it's important
00:27:38to keep your brain stimulated,
00:27:40so I suppose they have
00:27:42activities scheduled here.
00:27:44Bingo Mondays,
00:27:46social dance Fridays.
00:27:52All right, make yourselves comfortable.
00:27:54I'll be right with you.
00:27:58Talk about my finest feeling.
00:28:10For the record, I hate you guys.
00:28:12You're so stuck up.
00:28:14Relax.
00:28:16Whoa. Whoa, dude.
00:28:18Isn't that the girl that you were masturbating to?
00:28:20Shut...
00:28:22No.
00:28:24That's the real one.
00:28:28Oh, my God.
00:28:32Oh, my God.
00:28:34The jewels of rock.
00:28:36The blade of death.
00:28:38They even got Rupert.
00:28:42Isn't she marvelous?
00:28:44Yeah.
00:28:46No, you got a 35-millimeter print
00:28:48of the band film Zalverella?
00:28:50Sir, there's, like, only five copies
00:28:52in the whole world.
00:28:54Yes, and I own all five of them.
00:28:56Oh.
00:28:58Welcome.
00:29:00Welcome to my
00:29:02private exhibition.
00:29:04Oh, fuck me.
00:29:08Doc told me
00:29:10you are the best in the hunting business.
00:29:12Really?
00:29:14Yes. Yes, we are.
00:29:16Yes.
00:29:18You know, I...
00:29:20I really dig your style.
00:29:22Thank you. Throughout my life, I gathered
00:29:24though I feel my existence
00:29:26will remain incomplete
00:29:28until I possess this last
00:29:30but not least precious piece.
00:29:32I want her at my arm
00:29:34tomorrow night for my big
00:29:36performance.
00:29:38Zalverella. Yes!
00:29:40The queen of the dead,
00:29:42the exquisite Debbie Jones.
00:29:44She's been located in her family plot
00:29:46at the Country Hill Cemetery.
00:29:48You'll find all the boring info in there.
00:29:50So, uh,
00:29:52just another pickup, then.
00:29:54Actually, it's a bit more complicated.
00:29:56This cemetery is Coleman's property.
00:30:00You want us to steal from Coleman?
00:30:02Exactly.
00:30:04I do not want my name mixed
00:30:06in some shady business.
00:30:08That's why I'll pay you
00:30:12$25,000
00:30:14to bring her to me.
00:30:18You know, we were really looking at the
00:30:20express VIP service here, and it's,
00:30:22uh, it's double.
00:30:24Oh, I'm not here to bargain.
00:30:26This is the job. This is the payment.
00:30:28Well, all true collectors know
00:30:30that Zalverella is worth beyond
00:30:32the express VIP service.
00:30:34Isn't she?
00:30:40He's very smart.
00:30:42All right, $50,000 it is.
00:30:44Bring me my queen!
00:30:46So let me get this straight.
00:30:48We want to steal from Coleman
00:30:50to repay Coleman for stealing from Coleman.
00:30:52Yep.
00:30:54That is exactly what we're gonna do.
00:31:08What?
00:31:10Nothing. No, it's just, you're all
00:31:12glittery.
00:31:14You're...
00:31:16pretty.
00:31:18Uh, thanks.
00:31:20I guess.
00:31:22Yeah, it's super cool having you, you know, with us
00:31:24in the van.
00:31:26Have you got a diswish, buddy?
00:31:28You're gonna get us killed, asshole.
00:31:30Just pay attention to the road
00:31:32instead of staring at me.
00:31:36That's really mean, Maggie.
00:31:38Like, have you ever seen an asshole?
00:31:40It's not pretty.
00:31:44I looked at my asshole once.
00:31:48I mean, with a mirror, you know.
00:31:50What? You guys were never curious?
00:31:54Overpopulation,
00:31:56diseases,
00:31:58epidemic.
00:32:00The smell alone makes my stomach
00:32:02turn. 60 million people
00:32:04die each year on a global scale,
00:32:06adding to the living impaired population
00:32:08count. Now, in military
00:32:10terms,
00:32:12we call that an invasion.
00:32:14What do you think is gonna happen when they
00:32:16outnumber us?
00:32:18When they turn against us?
00:32:20We need to restore balance,
00:32:22and the only way for that change to occur
00:32:24is to engineer society's
00:32:26perception of the undead.
00:32:28All eyes will be on this event,
00:32:30including pro-living impaired
00:32:32activists, making the
00:32:34automatics art show a perfect target.
00:32:38Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present
00:32:40Project Zoltan.
00:32:52Dr. West, the floor is yours.
00:33:10Ah!
00:33:18Mr. Hannity,
00:33:20may I have a
00:33:22word with you?
00:33:30Sit.
00:33:34Sir, I understand the
00:33:36situation a bit. Unstable.
00:33:38But I assure you,
00:33:40the formula's working.
00:33:42And as people say,
00:33:44shit happens. I'll stop you there.
00:33:46This little project of yours
00:33:48is costing me a shitload of money.
00:33:50With all due respect, sir, you can't
00:33:52make an omelet without breaking
00:33:54some eggs. And you can't make chicken soup
00:33:56out of chicken shit, can you?
00:33:58This is it.
00:34:00I'm shutting your ass down.
00:34:02You've got great qualities.
00:34:04I'm sure they'll appreciate you
00:34:06at Goldman Malaysia.
00:34:24Go, go, go, go, go! Guys, come on!
00:34:36Come on!
00:34:50We're invisible.
00:34:52Hey, you guys seem to dig fast.
00:34:54I don't know how much time we've got before the next patrol.
00:34:56Maybe you can come out and help us.
00:34:58We only have two shovels, genius.
00:35:00Yeah, no thanks. I'm just gonna keep the engine running,
00:35:02keep an eye on Coleman's security systems.
00:35:04I have shoelaces. Nope, I don't tie my shoes.
00:35:06What, are you five? Maggie, it's a way of life.
00:35:08The only time Freddy got knocked out,
00:35:10he was tying his shoe. He sneezed
00:35:12and smashed his face on his own knee.
00:35:14Dude, dude! That was a secret.
00:35:16Four stitches. Guys, I don't care.
00:35:18Just go!
00:35:28We're in.
00:35:30Debbie Jones.
00:35:32Here we go, baby.
00:35:42No way.
00:35:48Coleman, you shady motherfucker.
00:36:02Yeah.
00:36:04No way.
00:36:08Oh, shit.
00:36:10Guys, guys, guys, guys, we gotta go.
00:36:12Okay, I present thee
00:36:14the queen of the dead,
00:36:16Zell.
00:36:18Oh, my God.
00:36:20Oh, fuck me.
00:36:22Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She's all dried up.
00:36:24Super dry, like extra crispy dry.
00:36:26It's a freaking skeleton.
00:36:28No way Maddox is gonna pay us for this.
00:36:30Maybe she's still somewhere in there.
00:36:32She just needs our help waking up, right?
00:36:34Hear my voice.
00:36:36Arise.
00:36:38Arise.
00:36:42Rise up!
00:36:44You broke into pieces.
00:36:46Fucking voices down.
00:36:48What, Maggie?
00:36:50I mean, look at this. We're screwed anyway.
00:36:52What could be worse?
00:36:54What the fuck?
00:36:56You shot me.
00:36:58I'll tell you for free.
00:37:00You already fucking shot at us.
00:37:02I got him, I got him, I got him.
00:37:04Freddie, I don't want to die.
00:37:14I don't understand.
00:37:16We use it all the time.
00:37:18Mr. Hannity.
00:37:20Please.
00:37:22I swear it's not my fault.
00:37:24He got strangled in the sex swing.
00:37:29Well, well.
00:37:32Welcome back, Mr. Coleman.
00:37:48Is he able to speak?
00:37:50Short answer is no.
00:37:52Oxygen shortage and intracranial hemorrhage
00:37:54will leave your brain damaged.
00:37:56I need a word with him
00:37:58in private.
00:38:04Bob, Bob, Bob.
00:38:06May I
00:38:08call you Bob?
00:38:10You've always been a source of
00:38:12inspiration.
00:38:14Seizing all opportunities as they present themselves.
00:38:16Never taking bullshit
00:38:18from anyone.
00:38:20Well, now
00:38:22I'm seizing mine.
00:38:24I'm taking over.
00:38:26I got big plans
00:38:28for the Coleman Corporation.
00:38:38One, two,
00:38:40one, and
00:38:42one, two,
00:38:44one, two,
00:38:46one, two,
00:38:48and step, step, and
00:38:50one, two, back.
00:38:52One, two.
00:38:54What the hell is going on here?
00:38:56Social dance Friday.
00:38:58He's making great progress.
00:39:00He's a natural.
00:39:04And what have you guys done with my place?
00:39:06We tied it up a bit.
00:39:08You did what?
00:39:10It was dusty.
00:39:12She is our hostage, numbnuts,
00:39:14not our maid.
00:39:16No, no, settle down.
00:39:18I got the perfect remedy for grumpy boys.
00:39:20Chili-baked sweet rolls.
00:39:22Sweet rolls, man!
00:39:30You're so fucked.
00:39:32I'm so fucking cold.
00:39:34You're not dying, Carl.
00:39:36I think I'm losing too much weight.
00:39:38It's a scratch, you're fine.
00:39:40Oh, shit, you actually got shot.
00:39:42Yeah, I told you.
00:39:44Dude, chicks dig scars.
00:39:47Cheeseburgers?
00:39:49Really? Thank you
00:39:51for all the extra lactose, Freddie.
00:39:53Since when is there lactose in cheeseburgers?
00:39:55Oh.
00:39:57Jeez.
00:39:59What's up, losers?
00:40:01It's them.
00:40:03I'm gonna put you on speakerphone, okay?
00:40:09I think I hung up on them.
00:40:11Freddie! I didn't do it on purpose.
00:40:13Oh, here, here.
00:40:16Did you just hang up on me?
00:40:18Stan?
00:40:20Maggie. Wait, you two know each other?
00:40:22Nah, chick.
00:40:24So after all this time, you're still Coleman's little bitch, huh?
00:40:26Screw Coleman, okay?
00:40:28If you don't bring my 50K in 12 hours,
00:40:30this sweet old granny over here goes bye-bye.
00:40:32Hey, hey, hey.
00:40:34How do we even know she's alive, huh?
00:40:36Good point. She is fine.
00:40:38Well, then put her on the phone.
00:40:40Freddie!
00:40:42What the hell was that?
00:40:44Uh, nothing.
00:40:46What the fuck, Rocco?
00:40:48Put the gun down!
00:40:50What gun?
00:40:52Look, put Grandma on the phone right now, or the deal is done.
00:40:54Yeah. Yes.
00:40:56Um, she's coming.
00:41:06Come on, wake up. Please wake up.
00:41:08Oh.
00:41:10Shh.
00:41:12Speak.
00:41:14Hello, Grandma.
00:41:16Oh, hello, sweetie.
00:41:18Isn't it a beautiful day?
00:41:20Are you okay?
00:41:22Is that bastard treating you well enough?
00:41:24Language, young lady.
00:41:26All right, that's enough. You got 12 hours. Got that?
00:41:30So how do you know this prick?
00:41:32He's my...
00:41:34ex.
00:41:36You slept with the enemy?
00:41:38Thank you, Freddie, for the reminder.
00:41:40Shit.
00:41:44Okay, we need another Zalvarela.
00:41:46You mean like the one that Carl masturbates to?
00:41:48Did you just say jerk off
00:41:50like normal people do?
00:41:52Show us.
00:41:54I'm not gonna jerk off in front of you guys.
00:41:56Show us the girl, you sick fuck.
00:42:02Hey, would you quit crying, you overgrown crybaby?
00:42:06I never showed a granny before.
00:42:08Oh, there, there.
00:42:12Oh.
00:42:16Oh, she's alive.
00:42:18Flashlight.
00:42:20Want to see?
00:42:22That totally looks like her.
00:42:24I know.
00:42:26This could actually work. So how do we find her?
00:42:28Well, they also
00:42:30have a massage parlor and
00:42:32you can go and book private sessions.
00:42:34Not that I ever tried.
00:42:36Just saying.
00:42:38I guess it's our first time for everything.
00:43:04What?
00:43:10Username?
00:43:16Masterbater69.
00:43:18Come again?
00:43:20Masterbater69.
00:43:22Just give me a second.
00:43:24How original.
00:43:26It's a play on words, Maggie.
00:43:28So you do use that word.
00:43:30Double standard much?
00:43:32Oh, which one of our delightful
00:43:34Zilf girls have you come to see today?
00:43:36We're here for Zilverella.
00:43:38Of course. Your favorite.
00:43:40Oh.
00:43:42It says right here, you never claimed your
00:43:44membership rewards. Well, it says it right here.
00:43:46And boy, did you accumulate some
00:43:48point. So, here's your
00:43:50free platinum membership
00:43:52pin.
00:43:54Gel for your penis.
00:43:58A lovely Zilf T-shirt.
00:44:02Some coupons.
00:44:04And of course, our
00:44:06famous pocket
00:44:08penis laser pointer.
00:44:10Look, we don't have time for free swag, okay?
00:44:12God!
00:44:14That laser is
00:44:16brutal. You can proceed to
00:44:18booth 23. She'll be right there with you.
00:44:20Okay.
00:44:24Oh, and
00:44:26platinum members' friends
00:44:28do
00:44:30get a special discount.
00:44:32Care for a trial?
00:44:34No, we're just
00:44:36laid outside.
00:44:38Don't touch anything, Freddie.
00:44:56Happy to finally
00:44:58put a face on my best tipper.
00:45:00Hello.
00:45:02Hi.
00:45:06Oh, you're kind of cute.
00:45:08You too. You smell nice.
00:45:10Thanks.
00:45:12So, first time here, huh?
00:45:14Yeah.
00:45:24Have a good time, baby.
00:45:26Open it.
00:45:28You're having
00:45:30fun, Carl? It's not what you think,
00:45:32Maggie. Get away. Maybe we can
00:45:34give him, like, five minutes. What?
00:45:36Oh, come on. He needs this.
00:45:38I'm hanging out of a window.
00:45:40Are your friends going to be watching because it's creepy?
00:45:42No, it's my sister. Oh, well, we can invite her if you want.
00:45:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:45:46The extra players
00:45:48need to register first.
00:45:50Oops.
00:45:52Look, we don't have much time, okay?
00:45:54Wait, did you come here to save me from my pen?
00:45:56Yeah.
00:45:58Yeah, sure. Wait, why? Is she mistreating you?
00:46:00No, you're just so overprotective.
00:46:02You know, suffocating, like...
00:46:04Oh, shit. Hey, this is against house rules.
00:46:06Open up. Everybody out. Now.
00:46:08Nobody tells me what to do, girl.
00:46:10Come on.
00:46:12Oh, come on.
00:46:18Back, back, back, back.
00:46:24Hey!
00:46:26Your membership
00:46:28is terminated!
00:46:30Girl!
00:46:32Sadly,
00:46:34we are also expecting a big protest
00:46:36against living imperative use.
00:46:38That's a real shame for freedom of speech.
00:46:40Well, if you're traveling by car
00:46:42and don't want to be late for dinner,
00:46:44you should definitely avoid the art district.
00:46:46Love.
00:46:48It's the best feeling, right?
00:46:50I'd rather be in a car crash.
00:46:52Freddie, pull over!
00:46:54Okay, okay, okay.
00:46:58Perfect.
00:47:04I'm stuck.
00:47:06Thank you. We can see that.
00:47:08I can't fucking believe it.
00:47:10You just drove right into him.
00:47:12He hit us!
00:47:14Shut up!
00:47:16You okay there?
00:47:18Poor thing.
00:47:20I've been worse.
00:47:22You weren't paying attention again.
00:47:24I was paying attention
00:47:26to you being negative.
00:47:28Again!
00:47:30Could you two just cut it for like a second, please?
00:47:32In other news, Country Hill Cemetery
00:47:34has been the theater of yet another hate crime.
00:47:36The police are looking for three suspects
00:47:38driving a green delivery van.
00:47:40They are deemed armed and dangerous.
00:47:42You know, the police is looking for us now.
00:47:44Wait, what did we do this time?
00:47:46Oh, nothing serious. Just, you know, um...
00:47:48That is a load of bullcrap.
00:47:50Oh, right.
00:47:52You say you're the brain of the operation, Maggie,
00:47:54so you got any great plan to get us out of this?
00:47:56Yeah, I got a plan. I got a plan.
00:47:58I got it, uh, right, uh, right here.
00:48:00That's very mature, Maggie.
00:48:02Mm-hmm. Says the guy who looked at his own asshole.
00:48:05Asshole.
00:48:07You, shut up.
00:48:09Asshole.
00:48:11Uh-huh.
00:48:13Captain!
00:48:15They're dickless. Go fetch.
00:48:17Guys, guys, guys, come on!
00:48:19None of our assholes are gonna matter
00:48:21if we don't get back on the road,
00:48:23like, right now!
00:48:25Okay.
00:48:27Uh...
00:48:29Oh!
00:48:31Ah!
00:48:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:48:39Come on, big guy.
00:48:41Don't mind me.
00:48:43Shut up.
00:48:45How about I call us an Uber?
00:48:49Hey, losers, clock is ticking.
00:48:53All right, now look, shitstick, we're on.
00:48:56Meet us at the Maddox Gallery with Grandma,
00:48:58take it or leave it.
00:49:00Ha, that shitty attitude. I missed you, Maggie.
00:49:04What a twat.
00:49:06Yep.
00:49:08All right, let's hope that old glittery fart likes bootlegs.
00:49:11Silverella!
00:49:15Silverella?
00:49:17Oh, shit. She's gone?
00:49:19Well, of course she's gone. I mean, we kidnapped her.
00:49:22Go get your girl.
00:49:24Go!
00:49:29No, no, no.
00:49:31No!
00:49:33Badger! Badger!
00:49:36Is Mr. Coleman appreciating his new scenery?
00:49:40Mr. Hannity, we've made great progress.
00:49:43However, I'm afraid we need more time.
00:49:45Why? I've seen the tests.
00:49:47They're fine.
00:49:49They looked scary.
00:49:51Focus on scary and stay away from the party popper heads.
00:49:54Yes, this is the formula we have here,
00:49:57but it is extremely unstable and infectious.
00:50:00We don't know if...
00:50:02Do you believe Coleman's special forces can't contain this?
00:50:06The protocol suggests that we perform additional testing.
00:50:09Maybe you're right.
00:50:13What are you doing?
00:50:15Following protocol.
00:50:17Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:50:20No, no, no, no, no, no!
00:50:23Let me out!
00:50:25Let me out!
00:50:27No! No!
00:50:29No!
00:50:31No!
00:50:33No!
00:50:35No!
00:50:37No!
00:50:39No!
00:50:42No!
00:50:44No!
00:50:46No!
00:50:53Silverella?
00:51:05Hello?
00:51:08Baby! No! No!
00:51:10Cut the crap. Where are you taking me?
00:51:12We're on a job, and we're taking you to automatics at the gallery.
00:51:15Automatics? Artist and billionaire?
00:51:18Yeah, yeah. He wants you to be his date for tonight's event.
00:51:21Ooh.
00:51:23Ooh. Ooh.
00:51:25Oh, that's so romantic.
00:51:27Watch out, watch out, watch out. That's a...
00:51:29It's a... It's a bullet wound.
00:51:31Ooh.
00:51:33It'll probably leave a scar.
00:51:36Ooh.
00:51:38Oh. Oh.
00:51:40Oh, yeah.
00:51:42Oh!
00:51:44Oh, that's so gross.
00:51:46You want to know what's gross?
00:51:48Is that you ever dated that jerk.
00:51:50Get over it. I told you.
00:51:52It only ever happened, like, once or, you know...
00:51:54twice.
00:51:56Why am I trying to justify myself to you?
00:51:58It's none of your fucking business anyway.
00:52:00I was just kidding.
00:52:02Very funny.
00:52:04Thanks.
00:52:06Sarcasm, Freddy.
00:52:08Yeah, duh.
00:52:10Yeah, I knew that.
00:52:14Oh!
00:52:18Looks like you folks got a problem.
00:52:26Uh-huh.
00:52:28Let me give you a hand with that.
00:52:30I got just the right tools in my car.
00:52:32Oh, uh, you don't have to do that, sir.
00:52:34Pleasure, ma'am.
00:52:36He just mammed me.
00:52:38Did he? I didn't. I blacked out.
00:52:40You're so royally fucked.
00:52:42No, I think if we just play it cool,
00:52:44we'll be fine.
00:52:46Yeah, I tried to swerve out of the way,
00:52:48but he just, like, jumped right in front of me.
00:52:50Don't worry about it.
00:52:52Happens all the time.
00:52:54These sons of bitches, they're worse than possums.
00:52:56Hold that for me, sir.
00:52:58Yes, I can do that.
00:53:00Let's start with the head.
00:53:04Wow.
00:53:06That was...
00:53:08quick.
00:53:10Majestical.
00:53:18Oh, jeez.
00:53:26Well,
00:53:28there you go, folks.
00:53:30Might want to stop at a car wash,
00:53:32get rid of that smell.
00:53:34Yeah. Oh, you're a real lifesaver.
00:53:36Yeah, no, that was really,
00:53:38really nice of you.
00:53:40Now drive safe.
00:53:44What the hell did you do that for?
00:53:46To save your asses.
00:53:48That is assault on an officer of the law.
00:53:50Yeah, a really nice officer
00:53:52that had no idea that we were wanted.
00:53:54And how was I supposed to know that?
00:53:56I thought that it was super brave.
00:53:58I am so done. I will be in the van.
00:54:00Fuck all of you.
00:54:04Well, we can't just leave him there.
00:54:18I'm Chelsea Lee,
00:54:20your favorite red carpet correspondent
00:54:22here at the Maddox Art Gallery,
00:54:24where the glitterati of Metropolis is here,
00:54:26and Mother Teresa is here.
00:54:28Mother Teresa,
00:54:30oh, my goodness.
00:54:32Isn't she looking lovely in her designer robe?
00:54:34Nobody pulls off white and blue
00:54:36like Mother Teresa.
00:54:38Mother Teresa, you rock the white and blue.
00:54:40Martinis later?
00:54:42You should see her on the dance floor.
00:54:44She is a maniac.
00:54:46Here at Colvin News, we don't let protesters
00:54:48ruin our night, and we just look forward
00:54:50to the art. I look forward to seeing
00:54:52what Otto Maddox is going to release today.
00:54:54Who knows?
00:54:56Last time it was very controversial.
00:54:58Tonight it's probably going to be
00:55:00even more racy, but
00:55:02Colvin News will show you everything.
00:55:22Let the show begin.
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00:57:44Okay, let's get her clean and dressed.
00:57:56Stop right there, dude.
00:57:59You got our money?
00:58:02What I wouldn't give for the golden star of my celestial realm.
00:58:09Stop!
00:58:12Stop, okay?
00:58:15Stop!
00:58:17The deal is off!
00:58:19Shut the fuck up, Carl.
00:58:39You're trying to ruin my mood.
00:58:51No, no, no, no.
00:58:52He's just, you know, jealous.
00:58:54No.
00:58:55No, we like each other.
00:58:57It's real sweet, honey, but this is a huge opportunity for me, so...
00:59:02I'm so sorry, Grandma.
00:59:08She's not the real Zelverella.
00:59:09She's a Zelve girl, and she's the love of my life.
00:59:15Okay, listen.
00:59:17He is just being emotional.
00:59:18What did you just say?
00:59:20I said that he's just being emoti-
00:59:21Not you!
00:59:28I got fooled by a cosplayer.
00:59:32She's a worthless fake!
00:59:34Do I look like a man you can play games with?
00:59:42What now?
00:59:43Get him!
00:59:44Yeah, come at me.
00:59:46Adios, guys.
00:59:52Go to hell, Don!
01:00:08Adios, Don.
01:00:24I'm sorry.
01:00:44Dude, you just killed Mother Teresa!
01:00:57She was so mean!
01:00:58Super rude!
01:00:59Way out of character!
01:01:00Hit that glittery fucker!
01:01:01Not bad for a worthless fake, huh?
01:01:28Play nice!
01:01:37Why are they so hostile all of a sudden?
01:01:51There has to be a logical explanation.
01:01:54Maybe there's bath salts in the hors d'oeuvres.
01:01:58That's actually plausible.
01:02:02Hey, you really meant what you said up there, Master Underscore Bader?
01:02:08You can actually call me Carl.
01:02:12I'm Jane.
01:02:21Go, go, go!
01:02:32Move, move, move!
01:02:33Come on!
01:02:34Guys, we gotta go!
01:02:35Go, go, go!
01:02:36Holy fuck!
01:02:37Have you guys seen this?
01:02:38Yeah, it's like, uh-
01:02:39Like in the movies.
01:02:40Yeah.
01:02:41What the hell are we supposed to do now?
01:02:42Okay, we charge at them and we hit them in the brain real hard.
01:02:44Yeah, and don't let them bite you.
01:02:46Great plan.
01:02:47Genius.
01:02:48Thanks.
01:02:49That was sarcasm, I-
01:02:51Oh, for fuck's sakes.
01:02:53Where's my money?
01:02:54Look, we have it.
01:02:56Almost.
01:02:57What do you mean, almost?
01:02:58Do you know what freaking time it is?
01:02:59It's freaking time's up!
01:03:00...spying terrorists and claim responsibility for the ongoing Attucks Art Gallery attack.
01:03:05The terrorists have been identified as being Carl Neird, Freddie Merckx, Maggie Neird, and Jane Doe.
01:03:11Feminist, activist, terrorist.
01:03:14All very dangerous to our freedom.
01:03:16Oh, man, we're terrorists!
01:03:18No, no, no, no, we're bioterrorists, okay?
01:03:20It's far worse.
01:03:21Thank you, Carl.
01:03:22That really helps a lot.
01:03:24Wait.
01:03:25Where's Jane?
01:03:26Who?
01:03:29Oh, she's right there.
01:03:33They're not attacking her.
01:03:35I know, it's weird.
01:03:36It's like they're only attracted to us.
01:03:38Warm-blooded.
01:03:39Look, she's getting her money.
01:03:42That backstabbing bitch.
01:03:44Heart-stabbing, Maggie.
01:03:46Heart-stabbing.
01:04:11So we hit him in the brain.
01:04:21Real hard.
01:04:22Here.
01:04:23Oh, because I'm the girl?
01:04:26No, because you're badass.
01:04:29Okay.
01:04:30Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:04:32Before we do this and, you know, most probably die, I just thought it would be really cool
01:04:37to have you as a brother-in-law.
01:04:39Hey!
01:04:40Don't I get a say in that?
01:04:42Okay, listen, Maggie.
01:04:43I'm really sorry being jealous of your ex-boyfriend, who is an asshole.
01:04:48And I'm sorry, too, okay?
01:04:49I know I made the plan fail and that was selfish.
01:04:52I get it.
01:04:53So I'm sorry.
01:04:55You guys are so lame, but adorable.
01:05:01All right, fine.
01:05:02Okay.
01:05:04I swear to God, if we're ever going to have this thing alive, I will play D&D with you.
01:05:12Good enough.
01:05:13Dude, that's huge.
01:05:14I know.
01:05:15Okay.
01:05:17So, we're going to show these rotten bastards what happens.
01:05:22Hey!
01:05:23Hold on.
01:05:24Maggie.
01:05:25You can't go into battle with your shoes untied.
01:05:29Okay.
01:05:31All right.
01:05:32We're going to show these rotten bastards what happens when Wild Gringo gets wild.
01:05:40Yeah!
01:05:49We're invincible.
01:05:50We're invincible.
01:06:01Oh, yeah!
01:06:04Ow!
01:06:05Motherfucker!
01:06:07Maggie!
01:06:08That's why we drink our milk!
01:06:10Life doesn't tolerate an asshole!
01:06:21Okay.
01:06:22All right.
01:06:23I'm going to pick you up.
01:06:24I'm strong enough to do that.
01:06:30Freddie!
01:06:40Freddie, come on, wake up.
01:06:42Freddie, come on, please.
01:06:43Freddie!
01:06:48Oh, shit.
01:06:49Oh, shit.
01:06:56Shit.
01:07:10She will destroy me.
01:07:17Hold on.
01:07:18Okay.
01:07:22Fucker!
01:07:30Welcome to Pain City.
01:07:32Population, you.
01:07:36Freddie!
01:07:40Yes!
01:07:49Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
01:07:51Did you just kick his ass, Marty?
01:07:54Whoa!
01:07:56That's what I'm talking about!
01:07:58Whoa!
01:08:03Hey, don't make me feel so bad, you man!
01:08:06Oh, my God!
01:08:09Oh, my God!
01:08:18Whoa!
01:08:29Whoa!
01:08:30Yeah!
01:08:42Whoa!
01:08:43Guys!
01:08:45Bingo!
01:08:46Bingo!
01:08:47Whoa!
01:08:51That was crazy.
01:08:52Freddie, look out!
01:09:18James?
01:09:19Everybody, get on your knees!
01:09:23Now!
01:09:30I'm surprised you're all still alive.
01:09:34But glad to meet the terrorists behind Project Zoltan.
01:09:39It's Dracula's hound.
01:09:40Shut up, Carl.
01:09:41Carl, same.
01:09:42This massacre just exposed your true nature to the world,
01:09:47you filthy zombies.
01:09:49Hey, she's living in Paris.
01:09:53Down on the ground, now!
01:09:56Wow.
01:10:10Oh, Hannity, man.
01:10:12I bet you didn't see this one coming, huh?
01:10:14Tell me, how does it feel to be on your knees?
01:10:16Now is not the time, Dave.
01:10:18My name is Stanley.
01:10:20How many fucking times do I have to tell you that?
01:10:22Who the hell is Dave, anyway?
01:10:23Calm down.
01:10:24Everything is fine.
01:10:25We have the money.
01:10:26My money!
01:10:27Hey, I'm Elle.
01:10:28Finders keepers.
01:10:29Sneaky bitch.
01:10:31Baby, I'm so sorry.
01:10:32I was...
01:10:33I was really scared.
01:10:34She was scared, Max.
01:10:35She's lying, Carl.
01:10:37You don't know that.
01:10:38I agree with both of you.
01:10:40Shut up!
01:10:41Enough with the fucking bickering.
01:10:43Do you hear yourself?
01:10:44I'm scared.
01:10:45I agree with you both.
01:10:46I should shoot all of you in the fucking face.
01:10:49Give me that.
01:10:51Nice.
01:10:52Now...
01:10:55Where was I?
01:10:57Ah, yes.
01:10:59Your days of roaming our streets
01:11:01and infecting us with diseases
01:11:04are over.
01:11:05Well, the last disease I caught wasn't from a dead guy.
01:11:07You know, you got some nasty shit going on inside your lab yourself.
01:11:11I've seen it.
01:11:13I bet you orchestrated this whole fucking thing.
01:11:16So it wasn't bath salts.
01:11:18You made them look bad
01:11:19so you could cash in on some big-ass Coleman cleanup contract
01:11:23and be the goddamn hero, didn't you?
01:11:25And you all are the perfect scapegoats, aren't you?
01:11:31You got me.
01:11:33You got me, clever girl.
01:11:35Too bad.
01:11:36No one's ever gonna find out.
01:11:39Carl!
01:11:40Laser penis!
01:11:48No!
01:11:50Yes!
01:11:52No, Max!
01:11:53Yeah, I know!
01:12:04You ruined everything!
01:12:05You wretched scum!
01:12:07What have you done?
01:12:09The world out of fucking favor!
01:12:15You look better dead, baby.
01:12:19Yeah.
01:12:23Nice shot.
01:12:24Good pass.
01:12:34Oh!
01:12:36It's a miracle!
01:12:37You fucking fucker!
01:12:44I love you too, Maggie.
01:12:46Yeah, nice try.
01:12:47Shit face.
01:12:53Uh, guys?
01:12:54I hate to interrupt, but...
01:12:56where's the money?
01:13:02And where's Stan?
01:13:18Paul, we can't.
01:13:20What would my father say?
01:13:24Why can't we be together?
01:13:25I love you.
01:13:28I'll pick up.
01:13:30Shit.
01:13:34I'll pick up the money.
01:13:35No, go ahead, I got the money.
01:13:36Bitch.
01:13:48Come on.
01:13:56Any moment now.
01:13:58Here they are, Brad.
01:13:59Our terrorists are exiting the building by the front door as we speak.
01:14:01Anything to say for your defense?
01:14:03No!
01:14:04We're innocent.
01:14:06I recorded everything and I have proof.
01:14:08I recorded everything and I have proof.
01:14:12I do.
01:14:17I do.
01:14:25Yeah, so I skipped to the end.
01:14:29Oh, I know, I'm cheating.
01:14:33Well, the good news is, we got Granny back.
01:14:38She's living in Paris now, but she always thought she was, so...
01:14:42I guess she's finally happy.
01:14:44And we didn't get arrested.
01:14:47Turns out that Captain Galactica's keychain plan didn't work out as I'd hoped.
01:14:50It didn't prove anything.
01:14:53But...
01:14:55All hell broke loose.
01:14:57The infection got out and spread like crazy.
01:15:07Welcome to the real zombie apocalypse.
01:15:10The real zombie apocalypse.
01:15:40The real zombie apocalypse.
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