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00:00Grandmama, you must be...
00:02Oh, Zabeth, of course I am.
00:04Let me alone, all of you.
00:06I can't make a speech on my own birthday by this time,
00:10and I shouldn't be here at all.
00:12Silence!
00:15Oh, you're all here.
00:17The whole lot of you.
00:19The whole Harries family.
00:22Here in this room, evening for my birthday.
00:25My 100th birthday.
00:28You never thought I'd live that long, did you?
00:31Well, I did.
00:33Now I suppose you've all come to look at me.
00:36A last look, I suppose you're thinking.
00:39Well, if it should be your last look at me,
00:41always remember that it's my last look at you, too.
00:45At you, Will Harries.
00:47You may be a famous novelist now,
00:50but you were a very stupid little boy.
00:52You never did learn how to spell.
00:55And you, Amory.
00:57You're in Parliament and very active, I hear.
01:00But you will never be as good a speaker as your father,
01:03and he was just a vicar in our village church here in Cumberland.
01:07Veronica.
01:09You're looking well.
01:11Surprisingly well when I think of how they all run to fat on your side of the family.
01:15And you, Alice.
01:17Sir Alice, I suppose I ought to call you.
01:20Tell me you're going to be a very big man in the city someday.
01:24Where's your mother? I don't see her here tonight.
01:26My mother begged to be excused.
01:28She was confined to her bed with a cold.
01:30In bed, eh?
01:31You were always an ailing lot, you London Harry.
01:34Not like the Cumberland branch.
01:36Strong as horses we were, but wild and bad.
01:41Not many of us left anymore.
01:43Benjamin.
01:44Yes, Grandmama.
01:46You and I are the only ones left, Benjamin.
01:50I heard all about you over at Skidawg,
01:52and the spring, and that fight you were in over a woman.
01:55Disgraceful.
01:57Did you win?
01:58Yes, I did, Grandmama.
01:59Glad to hear that.
02:01There are some of you here I don't know.
02:05My memory isn't as good as it was, and I can't see new faces.
02:11You, child.
02:12Are you a Harry?
02:14You, you with the pretty blue dress and the curls.
02:17What's your name?
02:18That's Vanessa, Grandmama.
02:19Oh, your daughter, eh, Adam?
02:20She's a pretty child.
02:22I think I should go to my room.
02:24I'm getting tired and there are too many of us.
02:27So many Harrys in one room.
02:30Too much for an old woman like me.
02:33So if you want to drink my health, you'd better get on with it.
02:37To Grandmama.
02:38I give you a toast.
02:40Here's to Grandmama, and here's to England, and here's to the Harrys family.
02:44May they all three live, prosper, and help the world along the way that it should go.
02:50Oh, Father, did you hear what Grandmama said about my dress?
03:03Your dress is beautiful, my child.
03:05I'm afraid I shall have quite a bell for a daughter in a few years.
03:08Your mother would have been so proud of you this evening.
03:11Happy, Vanessa?
03:12Oh, yes, I've never been so happy.
03:14Father.
03:15Yes, my darling.
03:16May I go for a walk on the heath with Cousin Benji?
03:19He asked me to.
03:20Benji.
03:21I'd rather you didn't, Vanessa.
03:23Please, Father.
03:24Benji's been away so long.
03:25He said he wanted to talk to somebody.
03:27Very well, Vanessa.
03:28Only don't go too far.
03:29Leave what I can call you.
03:37Benji.
03:38Benji, you walk so fast.
03:39I have to run to keep up.
03:41I want to get away from that family party.
03:43All those Harrys.
03:45Look, Vanessa, there's Griffel over there.
03:48Beyond that, across the hill, Scotland.
03:50I can't see it.
03:51Because the night is so dark, but it's there all the same.
03:53Tell me about London, Benji.
03:55One day when you've been there.
03:57You're older.
03:58Oh, everything for when I'm older.
04:00I want to know now all about London and about you.
04:04I don't believe the things they say about you, Benji.
04:07Not that I'm a bad man.
04:08Certainly not.
04:09Not that I'm wild.
04:11That the truth isn't in me.
04:12Not that I won't settle down and be what a Harry's ought to be.
04:16Whatever that is.
04:17You're what I want you to be.
04:19What's that?
04:20You.
04:23Benji.
04:24What is it?
04:25It's so quiet suddenly.
04:27The music stops.
04:28Vanessa, Vanessa.
04:29Oh, that's Papa.
04:31We're coming.
04:32We're coming, Papa.
04:33Oh, come on, Benji.
04:34We must go in now.
04:35Vanessa.
04:36Yes, Benji.
04:37Will you marry me someday?
04:40Of course I will.
04:42Would you marry me if your father forbade it?
04:44Yes.
04:45If I was in disgrace, Vanessa, with everyone,
04:47if I'd done something shameful and no one would speak to me,
04:50would you still marry me?
04:52As long as I loved you, I'd marry you.
04:54And I'd always love you.
04:55Always and forever.
04:56Whatever I did.
04:57Yes.
04:59I'll remind you of that one day.
05:00Vanessa.
05:01Oh, yes, here I am, Papa.
05:02Come inside, Vanessa.
05:03Papa, what is it?
05:04We heard the music stop.
05:06We've had bad news, my child.
05:09Your grandmother.
05:10Oh, Papa.
05:12Your Aunt Jane went up to her room a few minutes ago and found her.
05:16She looked very peaceful.
05:18She must have died in her sleep.
05:43Is it really five years, Vanessa?
05:45Five years since we talked at Alldale the night your grandmother died?
05:48Five years, Benji.
05:49Have I changed much?
05:50You've grown up.
05:51Benji.
05:53I have something to tell you, Vanessa.
05:56I'm...
05:58I'm going away again tomorrow morning.
06:02I'll not see you until someone has married you.
06:07I'll never marry anyone but you.
06:09We're not going to be married.
06:10You know what everyone says of me,
06:12that I'm one of the wild Harrys like my father,
06:14that I'm no good, that I spoil everything I touch.
06:19Well, Vanessa, it's true, I think.
06:22My mother and you are the only two people I've loved.
06:25I hurt my mother so many times.
06:28I don't want to hurt you.
06:29You couldn't hurt me, Benji.
06:31I could never say to you,
06:32Vanessa, from now on, I'll be everything you'd like.
06:34I'll go to church on Sunday.
06:35I'll read Tennyson with you in the evening.
06:37But I don't want you to read Tennyson.
06:39And if you don't wish to go to church, you needn't.
06:41And whatever you've done is no business of mine.
06:44I know you so well, Benji.
06:46And love you so much.
06:48And I'm not afraid of taking risks.
06:50Life was made for taking risks.
06:52What do you know about life?
06:54I know that marriage isn't all fun.
06:56It isn't for anybody.
06:58Only I think you and I would be often happy together
07:00if we were married.
07:02Because we love one another so much.
07:05We'd be unhappy, too.
07:07But we'd still love one another.
07:09And if you left me, I'd know you'd come back.
07:12I might not.
07:14I might never come back.
07:15Loving you as much as I do now,
07:16I might still say,
07:17no, I can't stand this, and I'd be off.
07:19Perhaps never return.
07:21I'd never know that you weren't going to return, Benji.
07:24My darling.
07:26My darling.
07:29Let's be engaged here and now for one year.
07:32This is the last day of April.
07:34One year from now, on this same day,
07:36I'll come and ask you if you're still of the same mind.
07:39And if you are,
07:42if I can trust myself, we'll be married.
07:45If that's what you like, Benji.
07:46Not a word to anyone.
07:47I've always told father...
07:48Oh, no, not even your father.
07:49He might not understand.
07:50Very well.
07:51Oh, it's a poor bargain for you, Vanessa.
07:53Mind if you ever want to be free,
07:54you're only to tell me.
07:55I'll never want to be free.
07:57Look at me, Vanessa.
07:59What is it, Benji?
08:01Many things.
08:03First,
08:05I'm going to kiss you.
08:07Yes, Benji.
08:09But your lips last.
08:11First your hair,
08:14and your eyes,
08:17and your beautiful brow.
08:20And now,
08:23now your lips.
08:36My child, you'll be happy in London.
08:39It is very kind of Lady Harris to ask you.
08:41And Cousin Ellis has written me again and again,
08:43urging me to let you go.
08:45Oh, it'll seem so strange not to spend Christmas in Cumberland.
08:48I don't want to go to London.
08:50I'll be so lonely, Papa.
08:51No, you won't.
08:52You'll meet all our family.
08:54You'll find that there are many interesting members
08:56of the Harris family outside of...
08:58Benji, Papa?
09:00I didn't say Benji.
09:02Outside of...
09:03Benji, Papa?
09:05I didn't say that, my dear.
09:07But it may be that London and the outside world
09:09will make you see people and things in a different light.
09:12I'll go.
09:14I'll go if you wish it, Papa.
09:21Well, my dear, how do you like London parties?
09:24I like them very much.
09:26You don't know who I am, do you?
09:28You're... you're...
09:30You're ten, my dear.
09:32There's no way in which you could know.
09:34Perhaps you heard your father talk about me.
09:37I'm Will Harries.
09:39Uncle Will?
09:40Yes.
09:41The last time I saw you was at your grandmother's birthday.
09:44You've grown very pretty since then.
09:47Thank you, Uncle Will.
09:48And you haven't told me yet how you like London.
09:51Everybody's been very kind to me.
09:53Lady Harries and Cousin Ellis.
09:55What do you think of your Cousin Ellis?
09:57You know, before long,
09:58he'll be one of the richest men in England.
10:00He's been wonderful to me, Uncle Will,
10:02but I... I don't understand him quite.
10:06He's so grave and nervous
10:08and so afraid of doing the wrong thing.
10:11You've noticed that, have you?
10:13Well, your Cousin Ellis belongs to the serious side of the family.
10:18Shall I tell you something, Vanessa?
10:20Each time I hear about you,
10:22I get fresh hope for our family,
10:24yours and mine.
10:26Somehow, I don't think the Harries will be able to crush you.
10:30I don't know what you mean, Uncle Will.
10:32Well, never mind.
10:34You must run along now, my dear.
10:35The dancing will start in a minute,
10:37and it isn't fair for an old man like me
10:39to keep the most beautiful girl at the party all to himself.
10:42But I like to be here with you, Uncle Will.
10:44All except your eyes, Vanessa.
10:46My eyes?
10:47Your eyes are far away.
10:50Come, Vanessa, tell me.
10:53Which one of the young men is it?
10:55Is he here tonight?
10:56No.
10:57But he'll be here in April.
10:58He said he would.
10:59Do I know him?
11:01Nobody knows him, really.
11:03Except me.
11:12Vanessa!
11:13Benji!
11:14Benji, my darling, you've come back.
11:16You're here.
11:17My hand's on your sleeve.
11:18I'm touching you.
11:19You're real.
11:20Quick, Vanessa, tell me, do you love me?
11:21Do you love me as much as two years ago?
11:23More, Benji, more.
11:24Is there anyone else?
11:25If so, where is he?
11:26I'll kill him.
11:27Quick, tell me.
11:28Only you, Benji, only you.
11:29I told you I'd be here, didn't I?
11:30I've run all the way, all the way from South America.
11:32You know I've run.
11:33Tell me, do you love me?
11:34Are you going to marry me?
11:35Of course, of course.
11:36Oh, my darling, my darling.
11:55Dear Uncle Will, you were so good to me in London
11:58and you seemed to understand me so well.
12:01It seems natural that I should write to you now,
12:04now that I'm alone,
12:06now that the two people are gone
12:08who meant so much to me,
12:10the only two people I ever loved.
12:13You remember the day I said goodbye when London...
12:15I told you that Father had finally given his consent.
12:19Benji and I were to be married in August.
12:22Then, two weeks after I got back,
12:24came the fire.
12:26Father and I had gone to Keswick
12:28to see Benji's mother.
12:30I don't know how much you heard about the fire.
12:32It broke out at three in the morning,
12:34somewhere in the East Wing.
12:37Miss Vanetta!
12:38Miss Vanetta!
12:39What is it?
12:40What is it?
12:41Come down, quick.
12:42Come down.
12:43This way, this way.
12:44The main stairway's gone.
12:46Out here, out on the wall.
12:48Where's my father?
12:49Is my father here?
12:50We'd be doing our best, son.
12:51Everybody outside!
12:52The room's going!
12:53This way!
12:54Did you see my father?
12:55No, Miss Vanetta.
12:56He was in the East Wing, wasn't he?
12:57Yes, he was.
12:58Well, that way is nothing but pain.
12:59There's nothing to do, ma'am.
13:00I'm going to get him.
13:01You can't do that, Miss Vanetta.
13:02Let's go.
13:03The room's falling in.
13:04Come back, Miss.
13:05Let's go.
13:06I'm going in.
13:07Come back, Miss Vanetta.
13:08Come back.
13:09You'll be killed.
13:10Miss Vanetta.
13:11Oh, Benji, Benji.
13:12My father is up there.
13:13You must help me.
13:14Miss Vanetta, there's no chance.
13:15Let me go.
13:16Let me go, Benji.
13:17If no one else will go, I will.
13:18Benji, let me go!
13:19Oh!
13:20Oh!
13:21Oh!
13:22Father!
13:23Father!
13:24Oh, you see what you've done?
13:25He's dead.
13:26And it's your fault, you...
13:27Oh, I hate you.
13:28You killed him.
13:29I'll hate you as long as I live.
13:30Benji!
13:31Benji!
13:32Benji!
13:33Benji!
13:34Benji!
13:35Benji!
13:36Benji!
13:37Benji!
13:38Benji!
13:39Benji!
13:40Benji!
13:41Benji!
13:42Benji!
13:43Benji!
13:44Benji!
13:45Benji!
13:46Benji!
13:47You know, don't you, Uncle Will, that when I said those terrible things to Benji, it
13:57was because I was out of my head with grief.
14:00I know how brave Benji is.
14:02If there'd been the slightest chance of saving father, he'd have been the first to go in.
14:06And if he had got my letter, the letter I wrote as soon as I was able to write it all,
14:12he'd have understood.
14:14Poor Benji. He's so used to being blamed for things, and you know how proud he is.
14:21I see how deeply I must have hurt him because the messenger that I sent with my letter came back with the letter and the news that Benji had left that same morning.
14:30The morning of the fire, telling no one where he'd gone. That was almost three months ago. Last week he returned.
14:39Come back Vanessa.
14:41I knew you'd come back Benji.
14:44Come back to tell you something.
14:46I knew you'd come back Benji. I knew we'd never part again.
14:49Don't Vanessa.
14:51Benji, what is it?
14:52It's this. We can't be married. We can never be married.
14:58Because, because I was married last week Vanessa.
15:03I thought after the fire that you'd blame me somehow for your father's death. I wrote off an attempt.
15:08You remember I was staying in the village in rooms with a widow and her daughter?
15:12Yes.
15:13I didn't like them, either of them. I was thinking of you Vanessa this summer every minute of the day and yet...
15:18I kissed the girl, disliked her more than ever and kissed her again.
15:22Tell me what she looks like Benji. Is she beautiful?
15:25A day or two after the fire I wrote her into a farm her brother owns over at Keswick and stayed there all night. I drank too much.
15:30My poor Benji.
15:31Two weeks ago a girl came to see me in London and she told me...
15:36Will you believe me Vanessa when I tell you that I loved you all that time more than ever?
15:40Yes, I believe you.
15:41You know because I was frightened of anything that might happen I've never been afraid of anyone or anything except you're despising me Vanessa.
15:48Or my doing you harm.
15:51And I saw that though I loved you so dearly, I'd been able to do this thing.
15:58I might do it again.
16:00Do you care for her Benji? Are you fond of her in any way at all?
16:05No. Not in any way at all.
16:09You must do all you can for her Benji.
16:11I will. I will.
16:15But what are we to do Vanessa? I can't live without seeing you.
16:19Oh no, we mustn't meet. Oh no, not for a long time.
16:23And please, don't write me or anything. It'll be much better.
16:29I'll do anything you say.
16:32Only if ever you're in trouble, any kind of serious trouble, you must see that I know.
16:38You'll never know anything of me again Vanessa except what can make you happy.
16:42Helping you would make me happy.
16:45Goodbye Vanessa.
16:47Goodbye my love.
16:59Next week Uncle Bill, I'm coming to London.
17:03Ellis has written inviting me to stay in Hill House again and I've accepted.
17:08Try as I will, I find that I cannot stay here at home any longer.
17:14All the things that I loved here in Cumberland have become hateful to me.
17:19Hateful reminders of those two I loved. Father and Benji.
17:25My dearest. Yes Cousin Ellis.
17:28You've been happy both times you've been here with us in London.
17:32Very happy Ellis.
17:33Your presence here has been a great joy to all of us.
17:36I'm glad. You've been wonderfully good to me Ellis.
17:39There is something I must ask you Vanessa.
17:42This is no sudden thought.
17:44From the first day I saw you I hoped that one day perhaps you'd be my wife.
17:49I'm proud that you should think of me like that Ellis but...
17:52For a time I thought it was hopeless.
17:54That was the time when you considered yourself engaged to Benji.
17:58When he had not yet shown himself to you for what he was.
18:01Ellis, there's something I want to say to you and then we'll never mention it again.
18:08About Benji.
18:10I know that everyone's against him.
18:12They all think he treated me badly.
18:14That he made a wretched mess of everything which is what they always hoped for.
18:19One thing you must know.
18:21He did not treat me badly.
18:24I want you to make everyone understand. Everyone.
18:27That I'll not hear one word against him.
18:29That I'll never speak again to anyone who attacks him.
18:32Is that clear?
18:33If you wish it Vanessa.
18:35I do wish it.
18:36If only you could love me a little Vanessa.
18:40I would wait.
18:42I like you very much Ellis.
18:44But I don't love you.
18:45Then let me love you and serve you.
18:47There is nothing you can ask that you shan't have.
18:50I'll never interfere with you.
18:52I'm not a man who has many friends.
18:55You've noticed that perhaps.
18:57I've always been shy in company.
19:00But with you beside me I feel I could do anything.
19:03You do like me don't you?
19:05Of course I do.
19:07Then that's all I ask Vanessa.
19:08Indeed it is.
19:10I ask nothing more.
19:27You are listening to the Campbell Playhouse presentation of Vanessa.
19:31Starring Helen Hayes and Orson Welles.
19:33This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
19:52Vanessa.
19:54This headache.
19:55It seems to get worse and worse.
19:57Perhaps if I call the doctor he could suggest something.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01Oh it's nothing.
20:03All I need is to rest in this darkened room for a while.
20:06I could only be sure that it's not more serious than you think.
20:10You know you haven't felt well for such a long time Ellis.
20:13Last week you had to miss the Jubilee.
20:15And I know how very ill you must have felt before.
20:17I've been working too hard perhaps.
20:19Or perhaps.
20:21I wish you'd let me stay home with you Ellis.
20:23And look after you.
20:24My dear.
20:25Go and enjoy yourself.
20:26You'll tell me all about it when you return.
20:28I shall count the minutes.
20:30I'll come as quickly as possible.
20:32Oh Vanessa.
20:34Yes Ellis.
20:35Come here dear.
20:36Closer to me.
20:38Give me your hand.
20:40We've been married nearly ten years.
20:42Have you been happy with me?
20:44Of course Ellis.
20:45All those years?
20:47All those years.
20:49I'm so glad.
20:54That's me.
20:55I can do it faster than that.
21:01I'm so sorry.
21:03Oh that's alright.
21:04You see.
21:05It's a.
21:06It's a bigger hoop than I've ever had before and I.
21:08I didn't see you standing there.
21:10Oh I didn't.
21:11I didn't.
21:12There's no harm done.
21:13Don't stand there chattering.
21:14It's your fault.
21:15Just say you're sorry.
21:16I'm sorry.
21:17It's your fault.
21:18I'm sorry.
21:19It's your fault.
21:20I'm sorry.
21:21I'm sorry.
21:22I'm sorry.
21:23It's your fault.
21:24Just say you're sorry.
21:25Benji.
21:27Vanessa.
21:28Benji.
21:30Have you been back in London long?
21:32A few weeks.
21:34Nobody else thought I was really necessary to make the Jubilee a success.
21:38I felt I'd like to be here.
21:41I wanted to see Tom.
21:43This is Lady Harry's Tom.
21:44How do you do Lady Harry's?
21:45I've always wanted to meet you Tom.
21:48Benji he's like you.
21:50Is he?
21:51We've had a lot of fun together haven't we Tom?
21:52Yes sir.
21:53You go and play now.
21:54Don't go too far.
21:55Yes father.
21:57He's less than a year old and his mother when Marion left me one morning.
22:05Like in a bad play nine years ago.
22:09Note on the kitchen table.
22:12Surprised to see me Vanessa?
22:14Benji.
22:16I wish I could say I was.
22:18But I can't.
22:20You see I found out that you walk through the park quite often on your way home.
22:23So I've been here most afternoon since I came back.
22:26Haven't you seen your wife since then?
22:29I never will again.
22:31Poor thing.
22:34I'm glad I have a boy.
22:36Kept me from being lonely.
22:38As lonely as I would have been.
22:42Have you been happy Vanessa?
22:44I haven't asked myself whether I've been happy or unhappy.
22:49Tell us.
22:50How's he?
22:51He's well.
22:54If you'd married me you'd have known what to say wouldn't you?
22:57And people asked you if you were happy or unhappy.
23:02Very unhappy you'd have said.
23:03Perhaps.
23:06Afraid happiness and unhappiness have nothing to do with love.
23:10I'm glad you have Tom with you Benji.
23:12Yes we're very good for each other.
23:15He doesn't know anything about us or about his mother.
23:18Except what every boy has the right to know about his mother.
23:21Whether it's true or not.
23:23I'm so proud of you Benji.
23:24Are you?
23:27I'm not.
23:30I don't suppose I'll see you again.
23:31Oh no it wouldn't be right.
23:33Yes.
23:36Vanessa.
23:37Benji.
23:39Tom.
23:40Yes father.
23:41Tom come here and say goodbye to Lady Harris.
23:55You're late Vanessa.
23:57Am I?
23:58It was such a fine day I walked home through the park.
24:00And I must tell you Alice.
24:01You don't generally walk home through the park.
24:04For someone who didn't even want to go out.
24:06Alice.
24:07You'd think that knowing I was ill.
24:08But Alice.
24:09Oh it doesn't matter.
24:11Some letters came for you while you were out.
24:13Here they are.
24:15One of them is from Benjamin Harris.
24:18You're wrong there's no letter from Benji.
24:21Oh I suppose this is the letter you meant.
24:23Read it.
24:24From Dr. Harris.
24:26He wants to know if I will subscribe to a bazaar.
24:29I'm very ashamed Vanessa.
24:32But if you knew how I've been suffering.
24:34I've been lying here all these hours longing for you.
24:38I love you so terribly Vanessa.
24:40I used to think that in time it would become part of life.
24:44But it hasn't.
24:45It grows stronger every day.
24:47Oh I know it isn't your fault you don't love me.
24:50You never loved me but.
24:51Alice dear.
24:53I know I don't love you as much as you could wish.
24:56In the way you mean.
24:59But we've been such good friends.
25:00Let's be thankful for that.
25:02And please let's go on trusting one another.
25:04Vanessa.
25:05If you would love me.
25:07You could only love me.
25:09Vanessa.
25:19Vanessa.
25:21Ellis.
25:22Are you still awake?
25:23Yes I couldn't sleep.
25:25How was your evening Vanessa?
25:26It was enchanting Ellis.
25:28We went to the prison of Zender.
25:29You know George Alexander and Faye Davis.
25:31Yes I've heard that it's an interesting play.
25:34What sort of an evening have you had Ellis?
25:36Was Aunt Grace entertaining?
25:38I didn't want to go without you but you insisted.
25:40She left an hour ago Vanessa.
25:42She told me.
25:44She told me something that upset me.
25:47What is it Ellis?
25:48Benjamin Harries has been in England for two months she said.
25:52I didn't know.
25:53Are you sure?
25:54Ellis.
25:56And she told me that you saw Benji last year at the time of the Jubilee.
25:59You never told me.
26:01I've told everyone else.
26:02When I came home that day I was going to tell you.
26:04Only you've been thinking that some silly letter or other was from him.
26:08And after that it was impossible.
26:10If Benji's in England now I didn't know about it until you just told me.
26:14I find that hard to believe.
26:16After you've just confessed that you met him secretly after the Jubilee.
26:19Listen to me Ellis.
26:21I've seen Benji once since we were married.
26:24I saw him for 15 minutes.
26:26When we sat on a bench in the park.
26:28I would have told you.
26:29I meant to tell you.
26:30Until you made it clear that it would be wrong to tell you.
26:32Now that's all there is to it.
26:34Is it?
26:35Yes.
26:37You must remember Ellis.
26:38Benji and I have been friends all our lives.
26:41I know that some of our family don't like him.
26:44But you don't like him.
26:45You've been seeing him behind my back for years.
26:47Ellis, let's talk sense.
26:49You know that I've never lied to you.
26:50Not in the smallest, most insignificant thing.
26:54I've never been anything but a friend to Benji.
26:56Even when I loved him most.
26:59You must trust me as I trust you.
27:01No reason.
27:02No reason?
27:03When you've made me unhappy for years?
27:05Not loving me, pretending, taking people in.
27:08But not me.
27:09You hear?
27:10Never me.
27:11I've had enough of it, you hear?
27:13You're mine and you'll love me as I love you.
27:15Ellis, you're hurting me.
27:16I want to hurt you as you've hurt me.
27:18Ellis, your hand.
27:19You're choking me.
27:20Ellis.
27:23Forgive me.
27:25It's because I can't.
27:27I want so much.
27:28Ellis.
27:30Ellis.
27:33I told you how I felt about you when you asked me to marry you.
27:38And what our marriage would be if there isn't complete trust between us.
27:42There is, Vanessa.
27:43There will be.
27:45I need you more than you think.
27:48I love you so.
27:50Oh, Vanessa.
27:58Vanessa, we are both tired.
28:07We need a rest.
28:09I think we'll go to Cumberland for a week.
28:12To your cottage at Uldale.
28:14Cumberland?
28:15But Ellis, you hate Cumberland.
28:16No.
28:17Who told you that?
28:18Nobody, of course.
28:19Only yourself.
28:20When have I said that I hated Cumberland?
28:22Not hated it, but disliked it.
28:24The rain, and you don't like the north.
28:26Who told you that I hated Cumberland?
28:28Nobody, Ellis.
28:29Nobody.
28:30And I wish you wouldn't hold that book while you talk to me.
28:33Why do they bind books in green?
28:35It's such an ugly color.
28:37I hadn't noticed it, Ellis.
28:38I don't hate Cumberland.
28:39Of course not.
28:41It'll be very agreeable.
28:43I need a holiday.
28:45We both need a holiday.
28:48Whatever you say, Ellis.
28:56Vanessa, when we return to London, I wish you to see a doctor I know.
29:09A doctor?
29:10Yes, a doctor.
29:11I have been long coming to the conclusion, Vanessa, that you are not well.
29:16Oh.
29:17I came to Cumberland with you that I might observe you.
29:20In London, it's so difficult.
29:22So many people to interfere.
29:25We don't see enough of one another.
29:27My suspicions, my suspicions are quite confirmed.
29:32What suspicions?
29:33I'm really quite well, Ellis.
29:34Ah, so you think.
29:36That, I fear, is part of the disease.
29:39I have said nothing until I was certain.
29:41I didn't wish to alarm you.
29:43Ellis, I don't know what you're talking about.
29:45Listen to me, Vanessa.
29:46For a long time, we haven't been happy.
29:48Oh, I know that it hasn't always been your fault.
29:51But I realize that your care of me during these last years,
29:54in addition to all your social duties, is too much for your strength.
29:59You will need great quiet in the future,
30:02and perhaps retirement for a time to some soothing place.
30:06Huh?
30:07What is it?
30:08You heard nothing?
30:09No.
30:10The country is so noisy and restless.
30:12There's always something moving.
30:15Ellis, what are you doing?
30:17Why are you locking the door?
30:19It wasn't kind of you, Vanessa, to have me watched day and night for months.
30:24What do you mean, Ellis?
30:26No one was watching.
30:27Why lie to me, Vanessa?
30:28I don't blame you, not at all.
30:30I know that you aren't yourself.
30:33But it is wrong of you to embarrass me.
30:36And such an unpleasant man.
30:38I've stood for hours while he watched me outside the window.
30:41Sometimes he would never move until I came myself to the window.
30:45And then he would vanish into the green bushes or green grass beyond the flower beds.
30:52A long, thin man in a green coat.
30:55He was never without his green coat.
30:57It was why I always knew who he was.
31:00Ellis, dear, you know I hadn't had you watched ever.
31:03Why should I?
31:04Oh, I'm not vexed, my dear.
31:06Not at all vexed.
31:08I said to myself, if he hadn't got that green coat,
31:11I really shouldn't mind.
31:13He could watch me as long as he pleased.
31:16But I disliked green as a color.
31:18And his eyes were always most unpleasant.
31:24Ellis, I don't know what to say.
31:28Let's talk about it tomorrow.
31:29Right now, I don't think...
31:30You wouldn't like it if I had you watched, you know.
31:33You wouldn't like it at all.
31:35The truth is, Vanessa, that neither of us is well.
31:38Life has been a failure for both of us.
31:41It is better for us to end it.
31:44Ellis, give me that key.
31:47You've locked the door, you know.
31:49Give me that key.
31:50No, my dear, certainly not.
31:52We haven't been happy for a long time.
31:55So here, very quickly, while there is no one about,
31:58is a very good opportunity to finish all this tiresome business.
32:02It is my duty.
32:04I have hesitated for some time,
32:06but now my duty is quite clear.
32:08Ellis, give me that knife.
32:11You don't know what you're talking about, Ellis.
32:13You will feel nothing.
32:14It will be no more than a cut on a finger.
32:16And then I will follow.
32:19I can't possibly express to you
32:21how agreeable it will be to be tired no longer.
32:25To have no more headaches.
32:27Put that knife on the table, Ellis.
32:29Perhaps I will.
32:32Perhaps I will not.
32:34And how absurd of you not to do as I wish.
32:37But you never have done as I wish.
32:39Ellis, give me the key.
32:43Why not another time?
32:46Perhaps another time will be better.
32:52Now, now, try to get some sleep, Ellis.
32:55Vanessa, how unhappy we are.
32:59How unhappy we are.
33:03Good night, Vanessa.
33:06Oh, please, God, help me.
33:26How much does anyone know besides you, my dear?
33:30Everyone has known Uncle Will.
33:32For a long time that something was wrong with Ellis.
33:35But as long as everything was all right on the surface,
33:37it's been accepted.
33:39There must be no more hairy scandals.
33:42There are worse things than scandals.
33:45And it's all my fault.
33:46Your fault?
33:47The sin with my marrying Ellis in the first place.
33:50When it was Benji I loved.
33:52I thought of myself rather than Ellis.
33:54And now that he needs me,
33:57my courage is gone.
33:59I thought once I had enough for anything.
34:01Your courage is greater than any I have ever known.
34:04You must leave him, Vanessa.
34:06You will be blamed, of course.
34:08And will you mind blame and criticism, Vanessa?
34:12You had very little in your life, you know.
34:15And many other things will be different, too.
34:19I don't think I can go on any longer without seeing Benji.
34:24I love him as deeply as ever I did.
34:26More deeply, I think.
34:29And I can't live and die, Uncle Will, without loving anyone.
34:32Then go to him, Vanessa.
34:34I think you know now what you want to do.
34:38What you've got to do.
34:40Yes, I know.
34:41And whatever it costs,
34:43it'll be less than the cost of not doing it.
34:46Vanessa, if you knew how many times I sat here imagining just this.
34:59Now there'll be a knock at the door, and I'll open it.
35:03And there'll be Vanessa at last.
35:05Yes, at last.
35:07Benji, I can't go on without you any longer.
35:11It isn't fair to you, Vanessa.
35:13You'll be made to suffer.
35:15I know I'll suffer in one way or another.
35:18And I've been thinking of this for a long time.
35:20I'm not a fool about it.
35:22I know the delight, and I know the punishment.
35:24Vanessa.
35:25Nobody's happy forever, Benji.
35:28Oh, Benji, are you sure you want me?
35:31Are you certain still, after all this time?
35:34I love you more than I ever did.
35:37Loving you's been the only good thing in me.
35:40Are you quite sure?
35:41Oh, yes, I'm sure.
35:42I'm not a child now.
35:44Often I've been tempted to come to you.
35:47You must have known that.
35:49Oh, I was so wrong when I married Ellis.
35:51And his needing me, my thinking he did kept me there.
35:55And that was wrong too.
35:57But if I can still make you happy, Benji,
36:01that's all I want now.
36:10Vanessa?
36:13Vanessa, I'm back.
36:15Oh, how was the fair?
36:18Did you sell the horses?
36:20Vanessa, come here to the door.
36:24Yes, Benji.
36:26Look out there.
36:28Yes, Benji.
36:29Cumberland.
36:31It's ours, my dear.
36:33The hills, the rocks, the flying clouds,
36:37they're the same as they always were.
36:40Look, Vanessa, down there, that dark patch.
36:43That's Skidor Forest down there.
36:45And when you stand below Skidor House
36:47and look over towards the forest,
36:49you can see sometimes just before the hill rises
36:52a dark patch that looks like the opening of a cave.
36:55It's only a trick of the light.
36:57There's no cave there.
36:58But when I was a boy, I used to fancy
37:00it was the opening of a great subterranean hole.
37:04Benji.
37:05Yes, dearest?
37:06You haven't told me about the fair.
37:09No.
37:10Our horses.
37:12How many did you sell?
37:14I had rather bad luck.
37:15You mean you didn't sell any of them.
37:17I know.
37:18We can manage.
37:19They won't have anything to do with us, will they, Benji?
37:21But isn't that...
37:22Yes, it is.
37:23Don't try to keep it from me.
37:24I'm not blind.
37:25My dearest.
37:26We're outcasts.
37:27We're wicked, sinful people.
37:30The world will have nothing to do with us.
37:33And now...
37:34Oh, Benji.
37:35Vanessa, do you care?
37:38Do you care what they think of us?
37:40Aren't we enough for ourselves?
37:42Oh, it's not that, Benji.
37:44It's Ellis.
37:45Ellis?
37:47There was a...
37:48There was a letter this morning from his sister.
37:50I didn't tell you.
37:51Yes?
37:53Here it is.
37:56Dear Vanessa.
37:59I have for some weeks now postponed this letter.
38:02But I have at last decided that it must be written.
38:05The fact is quite simply this.
38:08Ellis has been seriously ailing.
38:10He has, as you know, long been given to childish pursuits,
38:14to playing with dolls and soldiers and trains.
38:18Following the doctor's advice, we have humored him in this.
38:21A few months ago, I bought him a doll to give him pleasure.
38:25As soon as he saw it, it reminded him of you.
38:28He has not mentioned your name in all these years,
38:31but on this occasion, he said it once.
38:33Why, this is Vanessa. Come back to me.
38:36From that moment on, he has begged incessantly for your return.
38:40I want Vanessa, he cries, again and again.
38:43When is Vanessa coming?
38:45Why doesn't Vanessa come?
38:47The doctor assured me that Ellis has, at the most, a few months to live.
38:52If you return to Hill Street for those few months, Vanessa,
38:56you will hear no single word of reproach from any of us.
39:00If you don't, you will never forgive yourself.
39:04Your place just now is with your husband, whatever the past has been.
39:08You have it in your power to give him his last happiness.
39:14What are you going to do?
39:16I wanted to hear what you thought I should do.
39:19You aren't going, Vanessa. This is monstrous.
39:21Ah, it had to come Benji to make things right.
39:24He wants me back, Benji.
39:26I could never have left him if he had wanted me, but he didn't then.
39:29Now he does. He's dying.
39:31He doesn't want you. He can't want you. He doesn't even know you.
39:33No, Benji, no. There are no lies in that letter.
39:36I must go and you know it.
39:38There could be no other way.
39:40We had a new life and it was too fine, too wonderful to be allowed much of.
39:46You owe me more than you owe Ellis, Vanessa.
39:48No, Benji. I ruined Ellis' life.
39:51I've made you happy. I made him unhappy.
39:55He made you marry him.
39:56No, he didn't. I needn't have married him.
39:58What about me? Don't you care what happens to me?
40:00Listen to me, Benji. It's only you I'm thinking of.
40:04Your happiness.
40:06I couldn't make you happy, Benji, if I were anything but what I have to be.
40:12You're right, Vanessa.
40:15You must go.
40:28My dearest.
40:42I suppose I should be glad to hear that Ellis is better.
40:47But how can I lie to you?
40:50You who know me so well.
40:54The months we were to be apart have become years.
41:01But I want you to believe, my dear, as I do, that someday we'll be together again.
41:10Soon, perhaps.
41:13I can't help feeling that.
41:17I love you, my dearest sweet.
41:21I wonder if you know how much.
41:26How very much.
41:29Forever, Benji.
41:52Benji, my darling.
41:55I've known for weeks now that I'm going to die.
41:59The doctor told me yesterday that it will be soon.
42:03I made him swear on his honor that he'd not tell you or anyone.
42:08Since there's nothing anyone can do for me,
42:11except to let me spend my last days in peace and happiness.
42:15And I will be happy, Benji.
42:19If I can make you know that our love has not been wasted.
42:24The years we knew each other were the most wonderful and glorious years in both our lives.
42:30Weren't they?
42:32They were everything for me.
42:35Oh, Benji.
42:37I've wished so often that I could have been a different kind of woman for you.
42:41I suppose every woman wishes that for the man she loves.
42:45I would have liked to have been brilliant and witty.
42:48The kind of woman that clever men describe in their books.
42:54I've not, I'm sure, made a success of my life.
42:58And yet I feel that we were successful because we kept our love for each other always.
43:04I won't say anything about religion, because I know that bores you.
43:11But think sometimes of me,
43:14that I had no more doubt that God exists,
43:17than I have of your love for me.
43:21There are many people who are not stupid, nor false,
43:25who feel God close to them quite as practically as they feel the people they know close to them.
43:31When I'm gone, remember that this was the greatest true fact in my life.
43:39But I didn't mean this letter to be a sermon.
43:42I only meant to thank you, again and again,
43:48for loving me so much and so long.
43:52Don't be sad if I go.
43:55Think often of all the happy times we had, especially in Cumberland.
44:01That's our country.
44:04That's where I will always be closest to you, Benji.
44:07It has been our country for nearly 200 years, and perhaps before that.
44:12Every stone and tree there is a witness that life is worth living, however hard it is.
44:19Beautiful and terrible and comic and disappointing and rewarding.
44:27Forgive me for all the times that you've thought me sentimental and stupid and slow to see things.
44:36But I know you have and will.
44:39Remember that our love isn't dead.
44:42That it will never end.
44:45That nothing can destroy it now.
44:50Your most loving and devoted Vanessa.