Campbell Playhouse - 20 - Ah, Wilderness
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00:00Evening, this is Orson Welles. Tonight we broadcast a Pulitzer Prize play by a great American dramatist.
00:06Simple enough story, more point than plot, more truth than glamour.
00:11Tonight, dear listener, we won't try to take you out of yourself, but if we can, we'll take you back.
00:17Back to 1910, remember? If you were our hero's age at the time, maybe you won't want to.
00:23When Richard Miller is the protagonist tonight, I guess the easiest way to take him is to try to pretend he isn't us.
00:29Dredging bravely down into the carefully forgotten depths of his awkwardness,
00:34you're obedient and will tonight attempt to perform Richard Miller.
00:38The lifelike coloring, as far as possible, will be maintained.
00:42But our wilderness is best remembered for another character.
00:46To play Richard's father, the only actor I could think of who could follow George M. Cohan, Will Rogers, and Lionel Barrymore, is Ray Collins.
00:56Just set it here. Okay. Now look out for the fuse. Keep it straight. Here's the match.
00:59Right now, the minute I light this, put the can on top of it. There it goes. Quick!
01:03Run! Run!
01:07Get up! It hasn't gone off yet! Oh, it will!
01:10It's the biggest contributor ever won!
01:12It's going! What are you doing? Oh, nothing, Mother!
01:14Just for joy!
01:16Yay!
01:27I heard you said you didn't like that paper, Mr. McKellar.
01:41Every fourth of July, I've got a room for you, Mr. McKellar.
01:44How do you do? Hello, Mr. McKellar.
01:46Hey, look out, you kids!
01:48You want to blow your nose to bits? Go down to the park and do it!
01:51Oh, my wife!
01:55Oh, Dave! Hey, Dave McCumber!
01:58Hello. Well, how are you, Dave, on this glorious fourth?
02:01Hey, where's your girl, Mule? Dick's been looking for her all over.
02:04Yes. Well, he won't find her. Oh, he won't, huh?
02:07Well, how come you're here, Dave? I haven't seen you at a picnic for years.
02:10And you won't see me at this for long. I'm here to talk to you, Matt.
02:13Well, go ahead. I'll come to the point at once.
02:15There's something disagreeable. Disgraceful would be nearer the truth.
02:18And it concerns your son, Richard. Oh, come now, Dave.
02:21I'm sure Richard hasn't done anything. And I'm positive he has.
02:24I brought the proofs with me. I've got a lot more at home.
02:27These are good samples of the rest. Let's see.
02:30My wife discovered them in one of Muriel's bureau drawers, hidden under the underwear.
02:33They're all in handwriting, and you can't deny it. Uh-huh.
02:36Now, go on. Read them.
02:38All night against my heart, I felt your warm heart beat.
02:42Night long within mine arms, in love and sleep you lay.
02:47Well, well, uh, thy breath will shed betwixt the kisses and the wine.
02:53Well, if a little good poetry. Anyway, what do you want me to do?
02:57Do what it's your plain duty to do as a citizen to protect other people's children.
03:01Take and give him a hiding he'd remember the rest of his life.
03:04You'd ought to do it for his sake, if you had a sense.
03:07Unless you want him to end up in jail. Dave, I've stood all I can to stand for you.
03:10You get along. Get along quick.
03:12If you don't want to kick in the rear, help me.
03:14Now, you needn't lay hands on me, Nat Miller. I'm going.
03:17But there's one thing more. Here's a letter from Muriel, dear son.
03:20I hope he heeds what's inside for his own good, and yours.
03:23Because if I ever catch him hanging around my place again, I'll have him arrested.
03:27You will, huh? Yes, I will.
03:29And don't think I'm not going to make you regret the insult you've done me.
03:32I'm taking the advertisement for my store out of your newspaper.
03:35All right, go on. Take it out.
03:37You may be the biggest advertiser in town, but you can take it out and go to the devil.
03:40Do you mean that you... Yes, I will.
03:42That's all bluff. You wouldn't dare. Yes, I would.
03:44Oh, no, you wouldn't. I would, too. Well, good day.
03:47Oh, fool.
03:50Richard!
03:53Ladies and gentlemen,
03:55I have been repressed to remind you
03:57that the regular Independence Day baseball game
04:00between the civilized company Hoyage
04:03and the Whipple Dairy Nines
04:05is being played proudly at 2 o'clock at the fairgrounds.
04:09Richard! Yes, you want me, Pa?
04:12Well, I thought I'd made that place.
04:15Oh, I'm sorry, Pa. I didn't hear you.
04:17I was off in another world. Listen, son.
04:20I'm going to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer.
04:24I warned you beforehand that if the answer is yes,
04:27I'm going to punish you and punish you hard.
04:29Because you will have done something no boy of my ought to do.
04:33You've never lied to me before, I know,
04:36and I don't believe even to save yourself punishment.
04:39You'd lie to me now, would you?
04:41Oh, I won't lie, Father.
04:43Richard, is everything between you and Muriel
04:48anything you shouldn't...
04:50Oh, you know what I mean.
04:52What do you think I am?
04:54Father, I love Muriel.
04:56I'm going to marry her after I get out of college.
04:58She said she would. We're engaged.
05:01That's all I wanted to know.
05:03We won't talk about it anymore.
05:05Oh, here's a letter from her he said he'd give you.
05:08Her father.
05:09You better be prepared for a bit of a blow, son.
05:12Never mind. There's lots of other fish in the sea.
05:15Here you are. Here's her letter.
05:17Thanks, Pa.
05:18Say, what's happened to your ma and Aunt Lily?
05:20They're so darn busy keeping an eye on Sid today, the pair of them.
05:23I think I'll go down to the beach a ways
05:25and see if they're there and maybe say hello to some of the folks.
05:27If they show up, tell them I'll be right back.
05:29Yes, Pa.
05:31Dear Richard,
05:33please don't try and answer this.
05:36It's no use. After what you've done,
05:38I never want to see you again.
05:40Never.
05:41If that's all you think of me,
05:43goodbye forever, Muriel.
05:46The little coward.
05:48I hate her.
05:50She can't treat me like that. I'll show her.
05:52Oh, Richard!
05:53I'll show her.
05:54Richard!
05:55What is it?
05:56Here's Wendt looking for you.
05:58See, Wendt, here he is. You owe me a nickel.
06:00I told him you'd be here.
06:02Hello, Wendt.
06:03Oh, hello, Dick.
06:04Hey, Tommy, get up.
06:05I want to talk to Dick.
06:06What? Me?
06:07After I told you where he was
06:09and come all the way over out of the water to show you?
06:11Tommy, here's a dime.
06:12Now get up.
06:13There's a good kid.
06:14Okay, I don't want to listen anyway.
06:16I want him in the water.
06:18Say, Richard, I'm in trouble.
06:20What is it, Wendt? Can I help?
06:22Can you keep your face shut?
06:23I can't.
06:24Well, I'll tell you what it is.
06:26I ran into a couple of swift babes from New Haven this noon.
06:29I'd date them up for the night.
06:30You know, the fort, you know.
06:32Now I can't find anyone to go with me.
06:34I guess I'll have to pass it up.
06:35I'm broke.
06:36I can't afford to blow them bolts of drinks.
06:37I got $11 saved up. I could loan you some.
06:40Hey, you're a good sport.
06:42Aw, nicks, kid.
06:43I don't want to borrow your money.
06:45Say, have you got anything on for tonight?
06:47No.
06:48Want to come along with me?
06:49You mean...
06:50I'm trying to lead you astray, understand?
06:52You don't have to do anything.
06:53Not even take a glass of beer.
06:55Unless you want to.
06:56Oh, what do you think I am, a rube?
06:58You mean you're green for anything that's doing?
07:00Sure, I am.
07:01Well, ever drink anything besides sodas?
07:03Sure, lots of times.
07:05Beer and slow gin fizz and...
07:08Manhattans.
07:09Hey, you know more than I thought.
07:11Can you fix it so your folks won't get wise?
07:13Ought to be easy on the floors.
07:14Sure.
07:15Don't worry about that.
07:16Okay.
07:17Then you be at the Pleasant Beach Hotel at 9 o'clock.
07:19Sure.
07:20In the back room.
07:21That's easy.
07:22Watch your step, kid.
07:23So long.
07:24So long.
07:26I'll show her.
07:28Oh, Lily, in fact, we need to grab a hold of the barbecue.
07:30I'm sorry for her.
07:31That's all I can say.
07:32Oh, hello, Richard.
07:33Hello, Mom.
07:34What did old man McCumber want?
07:36Saw him way down the beach talking to your pa.
07:38Something foolish.
07:39I'll bet the old blue nose.
07:41Hi, Sid.
07:42Well, Richard, what'd he want?
07:43Ask Pa.
07:44Why, what is the matter with you, Richard?
07:46Football.
07:47Lily, don't you spoil him.
07:48Oh, Ma.
07:49Moping around that way and on the Fourth of July, too.
07:51Oh, Ma.
07:52Oh, darn Fourth of July, anyway.
07:54I wish we still belonged to England.
07:56Richard!
07:57Richard, you come back here.
07:58What do you want, Richard?
08:00Now, he's a queer boy.
08:02Sometimes I can't make head or tail of him.
08:04Hey, Sid, where do you think you're going?
08:06Oh, you.
08:07I wondered where Nat was.
08:08I thought I'd go down the beach a ways and look for her.
08:11Are you sure that's all you're looking for, Sid?
08:13Why, Essie, are you by any chance insinuating?
08:16You know what I mean.
08:17Now, you see how it is, Lily, when my own sister thinks the worst of me.
08:21I'm not thinking a thing.
08:22I'm just remembering what happened last year at the picnic.
08:24Last year?
08:25Why, what happened last year?
08:26Oh, it won't happen again, Essie.
08:28He's been a form captor since he's been on the paper in Waterbury.
08:31At least that's what he swore to me last night.
08:33Didn't you, Sid?
08:35Pure as the driven snow, that's me.
08:37Oh, Sid, you're a caution.
08:39Well, go on down the beach.
08:41And when you find Nat, you bring him back here.
08:43Do you hear me?
08:44Don't you two start talking around with everybody.
08:45It's getting late.
08:46We'll have to be starting home.
08:48Somebody's got to get supper ready.
08:49Yes, Essie.
08:50And Sid, remember your promise.
08:52I swear to you, Lily, that if any man offers me a drink, I'll kill him.
08:56That is, if he changes his mind.
08:59So long.
09:00And you tell Nat if you aren't back in 15 minutes.
09:02We're starting home.
09:03Yeah?
09:04With Tommy and Richard.
09:05We're taking the car.
09:06You two come home anyway, please.
09:07You hear, Sid?
09:08Sid!
09:09Sid?
09:33That's them.
09:34Oh, dear.
09:35Ma!
09:36Ma!
09:37They're coming!
09:38Try not to...
09:39I heard them walk down the street.
09:40All right, dear.
09:41All right.
09:42We'll sit right down to supper.
09:43Tommy, you go wash your hands.
09:44I did, Ma.
09:45Gee, I'm hungry, Ma.
09:46I know.
09:47You always are.
09:48Richard?
09:49Oh, gee, I love lobster, Ma.
09:50Supper's ready, Richard.
09:51You put that book away and come right in and sit down.
09:52All right.
09:53All right.
09:54All right.
09:55All right.
09:56All right.
09:57All right.
09:58All right.
09:59All right.
10:00All right.
10:01All right.
10:02Our friends have got some fish for dinner.
10:03Come sit down.
10:04Yes, Ma.
10:05And you two, Lily.
10:06We'll get them right in here and get some food in them.
10:07They'll be all right then.
10:08Gee, Ma it sounds like Uncle Sid's spouse again.
10:09Tommy, you be quiet.
10:10You're being too smart.
10:11Well, I could...
10:12You sit right down.
10:13I'm not worried about you.
10:14Oh, Ma.
10:15All right.
10:16Now then, everybody keep quiet.
10:17Quiet.
10:18Take your tiki.
10:19My little twinkling.
10:20My little twinkling.
10:21Oh, milky, milky, milky, milky.
10:22Oh, milky, milky, milky, milky.
10:23Oh, milky, milky, milky, milky.
10:24Oh, Mildstream, the old Mildstream.
10:36Here we are, Eddie. Here we are.
10:39You come right in here, Nad. Don't stop to wash up or anything. Soup is on the table.
10:43All right, Lily, you start passing the soup.
10:45Well, let's see. Here we are. Right on the dot. Here we are.
10:50So I see you're here, and if I didn't, you've told me four times already.
10:53Now, Essie, don't be critical. Don't be carpingly critical.
10:57Good news can stand repeated. Can't it? Of course it can.
11:00Nora, bring that soup here this minute.
11:03Well, well, well. Well, well, well.
11:08It's good to be home again.
11:10Now, start eating, everybody.
11:12Good day. Where's Sid?
11:15Essie, I think Sid's sort of embarrassed about coming in.
11:19Down on the beach there, he met such a lot of friends.
11:22Well, you know, for you lies like Christmas comes but once a year.
11:27Don't pretend to notice, huh?
11:29And don't you kiss, you hear? And don't you, Lily?
11:32Very well, Nad.
11:34Sid!
11:37Sid!
11:43All right, Sid, come on in.
11:46Good evening.
11:48Beautiful evening.
11:50I never remember seeing a more beautiful sunset.
11:54What do you say, Lily?
11:56It's all right.
11:57Well, it sure is all right.
12:00My friends, I give you toast.
12:03Soup.
12:04The staff of life.
12:06The old man's comfort.
12:08The young man's joy.
12:10The maiden's...
12:11Sid, will you shut up?
12:12The old man's joy.
12:14The maiden's...
12:15Sid, will you shut up for a minute and eat your soup?
12:17Everybody else is finished.
12:18Pass me your soup plates, everybody.
12:20We'll be here all night.
12:21Here, Ma.
12:22After this, there's lobster and that's all.
12:25Tommy, you pass the lobster.
12:26You start with your father.
12:27Gee, I love lobster.
12:28Lobster, Pa.
12:29Thanks.
12:30Have a good time at the beach, Tommy?
12:32Oh, fine, Pa, thanks.
12:34The water was wonderful and warm.
12:36Swim far?
12:37Yes, for me, but that isn't so awful far.
12:40Lobster, Aunt Lily.
12:41Speaking of swimming, I never go down to that beach
12:44with what it calls to mind the day I and Red Sisk
12:48went swimming there and I saved his life.
12:51Red Sisk, huh?
12:52I thought we'd have him.
12:54Have what?
12:55Oh, nothing.
12:57You go on with your swim, now, don't you mind me.
13:01Uncle Sid, lobster?
13:02Oh, thanks.
13:03Red Sisk, yes, sir.
13:06We kids call him Red because he has the darndest red crop of hair.
13:11What?
13:12The curious imagination of little children.
13:15Sid, eat your lobster and shut up.
13:17Go on, now.
13:18Well, as I was saying, Red and I went swimming that day.
13:21Aren't you eating your lobster?
13:23Let me see.
13:24Red was 14.
13:25I was only 12.
13:2641 years ago, there was a stake out where the whistling boy
13:31is now about a mile out.
13:33Oh, a stake, huh?
13:34Gee, I love lobster.
13:35One more sound out of you, young man, and you leave the table.
13:37Do eat your lobster, now.
13:38It's all the rage.
13:39Well, if I'm going to be interrupted every second, anyway.
13:43How's Albert's mother's rheumatism, Tommy?
13:45Much better, Ma.
13:46She was waiting today.
13:48She says salt water is the only thing that really helps her bunions.
13:50Tommy, where are your manners?
13:52The table's no place for you.
13:53Well, as I was saying, there was I and Red,
13:56and he dared me to raise him out to the stake and back.
13:59Well, I didn't let anyone dare me in those days.
14:02A spunky kid I was.
14:04Tommy.
14:05So I said, all right.
14:06We started out.
14:08All of a sudden, I heard a sort of a gasp from behind me, like this.
14:12Help!
14:14Help!
14:15I turned.
14:16I turned, and there was Red, his face all pinched and white.
14:20And he said weakly, help me.
14:23I got a cramp in my leg.
14:25Well, I don't mind telling you, I got mighty scared.
14:28I didn't know what to do.
14:30Then suddenly, I thought of the stake.
14:33And that stake was, well, I calculate it must have been 200 feet away.
14:37250.
14:39What's that?
14:40250.
14:42I've taken down the distance every time you've saved Red's life for 30 years.
14:47And the mean average distance to that stake is 250 feet.
14:52Say it.
14:53I get it, Sid.
14:55Sorry, folks.
14:56I guess I've told that one too many times and bored everyone.
15:01I'm getting old, I guess, Mother.
15:03Getting to repeat myself.
15:04No such thing.
15:05You're as young as you ever were.
15:07Sid, you eat your lobster.
15:08Maybe you'll keep your mouth shut.
15:09Oh, sure, sure.
15:10I'll eat my lobster.
15:12Ladies and gentlemen, I give you lobster.
15:15Lobster, the staff of life.
15:17Mercy's sake.
15:18Can't you shut up?
15:19Ma, look at Uncle Sid, eating that claw, shells and all.
15:23Sid, do you want to kill yourself?
15:24Take it away from him, Lily.
15:25Well, I prefer the shells.
15:27All fenced lobster lovers prefer the shells.
15:30Sid, he'd better go right up to bed for a while.
15:32That's what he'd better do.
15:33Bed?
15:34Yeah, maybe you're right.
15:36Immediately, if not sooner.
15:39Oh, but wait.
15:40Ladies and gentlemen, there is still one duty I must perform.
15:46No day is complete without it.
15:49Lily, answer once and for all.
15:52Will you marry me?
15:53No, no, I won't.
15:54Never.
15:55Right.
15:56Perhaps it's all for the best.
15:58Right, right.
15:59Good night, ladies and gents.
16:02We'll meet by and by.
16:12Stop it, stop it, all of you.
16:13What is there to laugh at?
16:15That minute downfall, everyone all was laughing.
16:17Everyone all was saying what a card he is, what a cape, what a costume.
16:21So funny.
16:22And he's gone on.
16:23We're all responsible, making it easy for him.
16:26And all we do is laugh.
16:28Come on, Lily, you mustn't take on so much.
16:30It isn't as serious as all that.
16:31Maybe it is to me.
16:32What?
16:33What?
16:34Oh, I'm sorry, Nellie.
16:35I'm sorry.
16:36See, I didn't mean to.
16:37I'm not feeling much better tonight.
16:39If you'll excuse me, I think I'll just go up to my room for a while.
16:42Of course.
16:43I suppose she's right.
16:45Never knew Lily to come out with things that way before.
16:49Anything special happen, Nellie?
16:51Nothing I know.
16:54He got completely over foolishness about Sid long ago.
16:57Oh, she never will.
16:59She better.
17:00He's got fired out of that new Waterbury job of his.
17:02What?
17:03Told me at the picnic.
17:04Oh, dear.
17:05Isn't he the fool?
17:06I knew something was wrong when he came home.
17:08Well, I'll find a place for him on my paper again, of course.
17:11Oh, dear.
17:12You know what I think?
17:14I think it's Aunt Lily's fault Uncle Sid's going to ruin.
17:17It's all because he loves her and she keeps him dangling after him
17:19and eggs him on and ruins his life like all women love to ruin men's lives.
17:22I don't blame him for drinking himself to death.
17:24What does he care if he dies after the way she treated him?
17:26I'll do the same thing myself.
17:28I would if I were in his boots.
17:30Richard, you stop that talk.
17:31Drink, for you know not whence you came nor why.
17:34Drink, for you know not where you go nor where.
17:37Drink!
17:38Richard, I'm ashamed of you.
17:39That's what I am.
17:40Oh, my.
17:42Come on, Nat.
17:43Let's go into the parlor and give Nora a chance to clear away.
17:46Really?
17:47Well, then, boy, talk.
17:48Now on, Richard.
17:49You keep that darn fool talking to yourself.
17:51Or you're going to regret it.
17:53You hear me?
17:54Yes, Father.
17:55That's about all I can stand of your nonsense for one day.
17:58Oh, what do I care?
18:01I'll show her.
18:03The little coward.
18:05I'll show them all.
18:22What's the matter with you, big boy?
18:24Haven't you ever been to a place like this before?
18:26Oh, sure I have.
18:27Lots of times.
18:28Where do you think I am, anyway?
18:29I don't know, kid.
18:30Honest, you got me kidding.
18:32What did you say your name was?
18:33Richard.
18:34Well, drink your beer, Richard.
18:36Come on.
18:37It's getting flat.
18:38Oh, I let it get that way on purpose.
18:39I like it better when it's flat.
18:42Say honestly, kid.
18:43Does your mother know you're out?
18:45I'll cut it out.
18:46Why don't you try to kid me?
18:47All right.
18:48I didn't mean to, dearie.
18:49Please don't get sore at me.
18:51I'm not sore.
18:52You see, it's this way with me, kid.
18:54I think you're one of the sweetest kids I've ever met.
18:56And I could like you a lot if you'd give me half a chance.
18:59Instead of acting so cold and indifferent.
19:01I'm not cold and indifferent.
19:03It's only that I got a weight on my mind.
19:06Here's your drink, kiddo.
19:07This will warm him up.
19:08Forty cents with a cigar.
19:10Here's a dollar.
19:12Keep the change.
19:13Oh, thanks.
19:14Don't mention it.
19:19Hey, anybody here?
19:21How about a little slip?
19:22I'm coming, I'm coming.
19:24Bottoms up now.
19:25All right.
19:27Bottoms up.
19:29Ah, well.
19:32That's something like it.
19:34Feel better?
19:35You bet.
19:36You'll still feel better in a minute.
19:38And then maybe you won't be so distant and unfriendly, huh?
19:41Oh, I'm not.
19:42Yes, you are.
19:44I think you just don't like me.
19:45Why, I do too like you.
19:47How much?
19:48Yes, a lot.
19:49Show me how much.
19:51Ah, want me to come sit on your lap?
19:53Yes.
19:55Well, now you're talking.
20:00How's that?
20:01Swell.
20:02Why don't you put your arm around me?
20:05Oh, no, not that dead way.
20:08Hold me tight.
20:10You needn't be afraid of hurting me.
20:12I like to be held, don't you?
20:14Sure I do.
20:17Then why don't you kiss me?
20:19All right.
20:21You call that kissing?
20:23Here.
20:26What's the matter, honey boy?
20:28Haven't you ever been kissed before?
20:30Sure, lots of times.
20:31Then why'd you jump as if I bit you?
20:34Gee, I'm getting crazy about you.
20:37Come on, kiss me again.
20:39I can't.
20:40I just remembered.
20:41I've sworn off.
20:43Sworn off kissing?
20:44What do you mean you've sworn off?
20:46I took an oath I'd be faithful.
20:47Till death do us part.
20:48Who's the girl?
20:49Never mind.
20:50I'm not good enough to talk about her, I suppose.
20:51I didn't mean that.
20:52You're all right.
20:53Only, you aren't to do this kind of thing.
20:55Isn't it right for a nice girl to fight?
20:57What's the trouble, sister?
20:58Young hopeful here getting annoyed?
21:00Maybe you'd like a change of atmosphere.
21:02No, he's all right.
21:03I get a little soused.
21:04Mind if I join your party?
21:06With me?
21:07I got no party on.
21:09Sit down.
21:10I forgot much, Cinera.
21:14Gone with the wind.
21:16Blown roses.
21:18Roses rightly wither strong.
21:21Yea, hungry for the lips of my desire.
21:24Hey, what's he talking about?
21:26Let's have another drink.
21:27You've had enough.
21:28What is it?
21:29A child poet or a child actor?
21:30Don't know.
21:31Help me guess.
21:32Well, sister, if you could check that cradle-robbing act,
21:34maybe you and I could have a little fun.
21:36That's easy.
21:37I just pull my freight.
21:39Listen, kid.
21:40Yeah?
21:41Here's an old friend of mine.
21:42Mr. Smith of New Haven just come in.
21:44I'm going to go over and sit at his table for a while, see?
21:47And you better go on home.
21:49I'm never going home.
21:50I'll show.
21:52Each man kills the thing he loves.
21:55By each let this be heard.
21:57Hey, this is rich.
21:58That's well dope, young fella.
22:00Give us something more.
22:01Some do it with a bitter look.
22:04Some with a flattering word.
22:06The coward does it with a kiss.
22:09The brave man with a sword.
22:12I did it with a kiss.
22:14I'm a coward.
22:15That's the old stuff, kid.
22:16All right, all right.
22:17Give us another.
22:18Right over there, old pan.
22:19And then at 10 o'clock,
22:20Eilert Loveberg will come with vine leaves in his hair.
22:23And Batson is bell-free if he's you.
22:25Oh, I don't mind her, kid.
22:26She's just ignorant.
22:27Come on, now.
22:28Come on, kid.
22:29Listen.
22:30You.
22:31Oh, me.
22:32I don't believe you ever knew her in New Haven at all.
22:34You just picked her up now.
22:36See, you leave her alone, you hear?
22:38You don't do anything to her,
22:39not while I'm around to protect her.
22:41Oh, listen to him.
22:42Now, wait, wait.
22:43Curse you, Jack Dalton,
22:44if I won't unhand her, what then?
22:46I'll give you a punch in the snoot, that's what.
22:48Hey, you cut out the noise.
22:49What's the matter here?
22:50It's none of my business, brother,
22:51but if I were in your booth,
22:52I'd bless young Sousa Gabe.
22:54He's underage.
22:55He told me he was over 18.
22:57I guess you're right.
22:58Come on, now, young fella.
22:59Anyway, you'll start no trouble.
23:01Beat it now.
23:02I will not beat it.
23:03Oh, won't you?
23:04Now, quiet now.
23:05I'll pin him right in your joint.
23:06Let me go.
23:07Oh, Brian,
23:08suck me, will you?
23:09We'll see about that.
23:10Oh, and now, out you go.
23:28You are listening to
23:29the Campbell Playhouse presentation
23:31of Our Wilderness,
23:32Stonghorse and Wells.
23:34This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
23:37Now, we resume our Campbell Playhouse presentation
23:39of Our Wilderness,
23:40Stonghorse and Wells.
24:03Hey, Dave,
24:04what's the matter?
24:06Hey, Dave.
24:07Who's that?
24:08It's Tommy.
24:09Can I come in?
24:10Hello.
24:11Hello.
24:13Are you allowed up?
24:14Of course I'm allowed up.
24:16How did Pa punish you?
24:17He didn't.
24:18He went back the off without seeing me.
24:19Gee.
24:20After last night,
24:21I thought here that you'd died.
24:22Oh, forget it, can't you?
24:23Go on, Tommy.
24:24Get out of here.
24:25I'm sick.
24:26If I get out of here,
24:27I can't give you something I've got for you.
24:29Oh, don't try to kid me.
24:30You haven't got anything.
24:31I do.
24:32What?
24:33Oh, wouldn't you like to know?
24:34I'll give you three guesses.
24:36Oh, don't bother me, Tommy.
24:37I'm in no mood to play riddles with kids.
24:39What is it?
24:40Well,
24:41what would you like best in the world?
24:43I don't know.
24:44What?
24:45It's from Uriel.
24:46You mean she...
24:47Yeah, just now when I went by,
24:48I saw her waving from their parlor window,
24:49and so I went up,
24:50and she gives this note to Dick.
24:51So,
24:52so I took it.
24:53Here it is.
24:54Now, aren't you glad I came?
24:56Oh, thanks, Tommy.
24:57Thanks.
24:58Gee.
25:00Do you know what she says?
25:03She loves me,
25:04and only me,
25:05and always will,
25:06and she's gonna try and sneak out
25:07and meet me tonight.
25:08You can't do that, Dick.
25:09You're not allowed.
25:10Can't I, though?
25:11You wait and see if I can.
25:12I'll go right through the window.
25:13I'll see her tonight
25:14if it's the last thing I ever do.
25:15I don't care what they do to me after that.
25:16I don't care if they kill me.
25:17Hey, Dick, you sure got nerve.
25:18The trouble with most folks
25:19is they don't understand
25:20what love means.
25:22Oh, Dick.
25:23Dick.
25:24Oh.
25:25Hello, Muriel.
25:26Is it now already?
25:27Gosh,
25:28time passes
25:29when you're
25:30thinking.
25:31I thought you'd be waiting
25:32right here
25:33at the end of the path.
25:34I'll bet you'd forgotten
25:35I was even coming.
25:36No, I hadn't forgotten, Muriel,
25:37honest,
25:38but
25:39I got to thinking about life.
25:40You might think of me,
25:41for all I care.
25:42I'll bet you'd forget
25:43I was even coming.
25:44No, I hadn't forgotten, Muriel,
25:45honest,
25:46but
25:47I got to thinking about life.
25:48You might think of me,
25:49for all I care.
25:50You might think of me,
25:51for a change,
25:52after all the risk
25:53I've run to see you.
25:54Oh, gosh,
25:55you're pretty tonight, Muriel.
25:56Seems age
25:57since we've been together.
25:58If you knew
25:59what I've suffered.
26:00I did, too.
26:01Gosh, Muriel.
26:02Oh, gosh,
26:03it sure is wonderful
26:04to be with you again.
26:05I'm glad
26:06it makes you happy, Dick.
26:08I'm happy, too.
26:09Muriel,
26:11can't I...
26:13Won't you let me
26:14kiss you now?
26:16Please.
26:17No, you mustn't.
26:18Don't.
26:19Why can't I?
26:20Because
26:21I'm afraid.
26:22Oh,
26:23that's what you always say.
26:24You're always so afraid.
26:26Aren't you ever gonna let me?
26:28I will, sometime.
26:29When?
26:30Soon, maybe.
26:31Tonight, will you?
26:32I'll see.
26:33Promise?
26:34I promise, maybe.
26:35All right.
26:36Remember, you promised.
26:38Don't let's stand here.
26:39Come on out.
26:40We can sit on the bench
26:41in the moonlight.
26:42Oh, it's so bright out there.
26:43No, no, see,
26:44there's no running around
26:45park at night.
26:46I know there isn't.
26:47That's why I thought
26:48what's the use of a moon
26:49if you can't see it?
26:50It's only a new moon.
26:51That's not much to look at.
26:52But I want to see you.
26:54I can't hear in the shadow.
26:55I...
26:56I want to
26:57drink in all your beauty.
27:00I bet I look a sight, don't I?
27:01Oh, you do not.
27:02You look wonderful.
27:04Muriel,
27:06you don't realize
27:07what I've been through,
27:08what that letter of yours
27:09made me do.
27:10What did my letter
27:11make you do?
27:12Oh, it's too long a story.
27:13Let the dead pass, Barry.
27:14It's dead.
27:15No, tell me, Dick.
27:16I want to know.
27:17Well, begin at the beginning
27:18and tell me.
27:19Well, after your old
27:20father gave me a letter,
27:21Muriel,
27:22I figured your love for me
27:23was dead,
27:24and I thought
27:25you'd never love me.
27:26You'd only been
27:27cruelly mocking me,
27:28torturing me.
27:29Oh, Dick, I'd never.
27:30You know I'd never.
27:31I wanted to die,
27:32and I sat and brooded
27:33about death,
27:34and finally I made up my mind
27:35I'd kill myself.
27:36Dick, you didn't.
27:37I did, too,
27:38and I thought
27:39when I'm dead,
27:40she'll be sorry
27:41she ruined my life.
27:42Oh, have you ever
27:43had heart of die?
27:44Too honest, I was.
27:45But suicide's the act
27:46thing to say.
27:47If you meant what was
27:48in that letter,
27:49you wouldn't have been
27:50worth it, would you?
27:51But I've told you.
27:52So I said to myself,
27:53I'm through with women.
27:54They're all alike.
27:55I'm not.
27:56And I thought,
27:57what difference does it
27:58make what I do now?
27:59I might as well forget her
28:00and drown all my sorrows
28:01and lead the pace that kills.
28:02So after it was dark,
28:03I sneaked out
28:04and went to a low dive
28:05I know about.
28:06Oh, Dick Miller,
28:07I don't believe you ever.
28:08You whack them down
28:09at the Pleasant Beach House
28:10if I didn't,
28:11and they won't forget me
28:12in a hurry.
28:13You went there?
28:14Well, that's a terrible place.
28:15I went to a low dive,
28:16didn't I?
28:17And they let me into
28:18a secret room
28:19behind the bar room.
28:20Wasn't anyone there
28:21but a Princeton senior,
28:22you know,
28:23and he had two chorus girls
28:24from New York with him,
28:25and they were all
28:26drinking champagne.
28:27Oh, Dick Miller,
28:28I hope you didn't.
28:29Oh, you ought to have known.
28:30Pa made me write
28:31that old letter.
28:32One of them
28:33was called Belle.
28:34A yellow-haired Belle.
28:35Had a kind that burns
28:36and stings, you know.
28:37I'll bet it was dire.
28:38And then what happened?
28:39Oh, we just kept
28:40drinking champagne
28:41and drinking champagne
28:42and drinking champagne
28:43and drinking champagne
28:44and we just kept
28:45drinking champagne,
28:46all of us,
28:47and she said
28:48she'd fall in love
28:49with me at first,
28:50and, you know,
28:51came and sat on my lap,
28:52kissed me.
28:53Oh.
28:54So in fun,
28:55and then we just kept on
28:56drinking champagne
28:57and, uh...
28:58And did you kiss her?
28:59No, I didn't.
29:00Oh, you did too.
29:01You're lying and you know it.
29:02Oh, I hate you.
29:03I wish you were dead.
29:04I'm going home this minute.
29:05I never want to lay eyes
29:06on you again
29:07and this time...
29:08Now, Muriel, wait, listen.
29:09I don't want to listen.
29:10Let me go.
29:11Muriel.
29:12If you don't,
29:13I won't let you...
29:14You've got to let me explain.
29:15I...
29:16Ouch.
29:17You...
29:18You did bite me.
29:20Well, all right,
29:21go if you want.
29:22If you have the decency
29:23to let me explain,
29:24I...
29:25I hate you too.
29:26I'll go and see Belle.
29:27Well, go and see her
29:28if that's the kind of girl
29:29you like.
29:30Why do I care?
29:31You can't explain?
29:32What can you explain?
29:33You owned up,
29:34you kissed her.
29:35I did not say she kissed me.
29:36I suppose you just sat
29:37and let yourself be kissed.
29:38Tell that to the Marines.
29:39All right,
29:40if you're going to call me
29:41a liar every word I say...
29:42I didn't call you a liar.
29:43I...
29:44I only meant it...
29:45It sounds fishy.
29:46Do you know it does?
29:47I don't know anything.
29:48I...
29:49All I know,
29:50I wish I was dead.
29:51It's hard to say that.
29:52It's wicked.
29:53I suppose you'll tell me
29:54you didn't fall in love with her.
29:56Oh, I should say not.
29:58Fall in love
29:59with that kind of a girl?
30:00What do you take me for?
30:01How do you know
30:02what you did
30:03if you drank so much champagne?
30:05Well, I kept my head.
30:06I'm not a sucker
30:07no matter what you think.
30:08Then...
30:09Then you don't love her.
30:10I hate her.
30:11I...
30:12She wasn't even pretty and...
30:13Anyway,
30:14how could I love her?
30:15I love you.
30:17Well, then...
30:19I still love you.
30:22Then come back here,
30:23why don't you?
30:24It's getting late.
30:25It's not half past yet.
30:26All right.
30:27Well, I'll have to go soon.
30:30Gosh, I...
30:31I'm sorry I hurt your hand.
30:32Oh, that was nothing.
30:33It felt wonderful
30:34even to get bite.
30:36There, I'll kiss it.
30:37That'll cure it.
30:38You shouldn't
30:39waste that on my hand.
30:40You...
30:41You said you'd let me...
30:43I said maybe.
30:44When you're ill.
30:45You know,
30:47I want it so.
30:49Will it
30:50wash off
30:51her kisses
30:52and...
30:53and make you forget
30:54of her
30:55for always?
30:56Oh, I should say so.
30:57I never remember
30:58anything but it.
31:00Never want anything
31:01but it ever again.
31:02Then...
31:03All right.
31:07The moon is beautiful, isn't it?
31:09Not as beautiful as you.
31:10Nothing is.
31:12Won't it be wonderful
31:13when we're married?
31:14Yes.
31:15But it's so long to wait.
31:16Perhaps I needn't go to college.
31:17Perhaps Pa'll give me a job.
31:18Then we'd be making enough.
31:19I could...
31:20Oh, you'd better do
31:21what your Pa thinks best.
31:22And I'd like you to be at Yale.
31:24Oh, poor you.
31:26Do you think he'll punish you often?
31:27I don't know.
31:28I don't care either.
31:29Gosh, but I love you.
31:32Oh, gosh, I love you.
31:35Darling.
31:36I love you too.
31:39Sweetheart.
31:41Where are we going on our honeymoon date?
31:42To Niagara Falls?
31:43That dump where all the silly fool go?
31:45Oh, I should say no.
31:47Oh, no.
31:48We'll go some far off
31:50wonderful place.
31:51Somewhere...
31:53Somewhere out on the long trail.
31:56The trail that is always new.
31:59On the road to Mandalay.
32:09My God, I'm glad Tommy told us
32:10where Richard went off to tonight.
32:12I'd have worried my heart out if he hadn't.
32:15But now it's all right.
32:17All right, is it?
32:19For his being in luck, Muriel,
32:20I don't see but what it might work out real well.
32:24Richard could do worse.
32:25I thought you had no use for Muriel.
32:27Thought she was stupid.
32:28Well, so I did.
32:29But if she's good for Richard
32:30and he's good for me,
32:31I'll be all right.
32:32I'll be all right.
32:33I'll be all right.
32:34I'll be all right.
32:35I'll be all right.
32:36I'll be all right.
32:37I'll be all right.
32:38Well, if she's good for Richard
32:39and he wants her,
32:40Ma used to say you weren't over bright.
32:42Well, I've been bright enough to...
32:43Oh, hush up.
32:46Where'd you say Sid and Lily had gone off to?
32:48To the beach to listen to the band.
32:50Oh, I'm glad.
32:53What's that?
32:54What?
32:55Did you hear something?
32:57Yes, I did.
32:58That's Richard now coming around the house.
33:00Nobody else had come that way.
33:02I'll go out on the porch and meet him.
33:04You better leave him and me alone for a while, I see.
33:06Well, all right, I'll stay in here.
33:07Call me if you want me.
33:08But you'll remember all I've said now, won't you?
33:10Sure, Izzy.
33:13Hello, Richard.
33:14Oh, hello, Pa.
33:16Uh, sit down, Richard.
33:18Yep.
33:19No, right here.
33:20Next to me.
33:22That's better.
33:24Well, how are the vine leaves in your hair this evening?
33:26Why, I don't know, Pa.
33:28Turned out to be poison ivy, didn't they?
33:30Huh.
33:31You needn't look so alarmed.
33:32I'm not going to read you any tense lecture.
33:34That'd bore me more than it would you.
33:37Still giving you credit for having brains.
33:39So I'm pretty sure anything I can say to you, you've already said to yourself.
33:42Oh, I know I was a darned fool.
33:44You sure were.
33:45Not only a fool, but a downright stupid disgutting.
33:49I know, Pa.
33:50All right, then.
33:51That's settled.
33:52Now, uh, one more thing.
33:55This girl at the Pleasant Beach House.
33:58Oh, Pa.
33:59If they've told you about her down there, they must have told you there wasn't anything in it.
34:03Honest, Pa, there wasn't.
34:05I wouldn't do a thing like that to Muriel, no matter how bad I thought she treated me.
34:09Honest.
34:10How'd you happen to meet this lady, anyway?
34:12I...
34:13I can't tell that, Pa.
34:14I'd have to snitch on somebody.
34:15You wouldn't want me to do that.
34:16No, I suppose I wouldn't.
34:18Well, I believe you.
34:20And I guess that settles that.
34:22There's nothing more to say, and we'll forget it, huh?
34:25How are you going to punish me, Pa?
34:27Oh, I was sort of forgetting that, wasn't I?
34:29Well, I'd thought of telling you you couldn't go to college.
34:33Don't I have to go, honest?
34:35Oh, gee, that's great.
34:37Muriel thought you'd want me to.
34:38I was telling her I'd rather you give me a job on the paper because she'll get married sooner.
34:42Oh, gee, Pa, you picked a lemon.
34:44That isn't any punishment.
34:45You have to do something besides that.
34:46Then you'll go to college and stay there till you graduate.
34:48That's the answer to that.
34:50Muriel's got good sense, and you haven't.
34:52Now, we're finished.
34:54We'll call your Ma.
34:57Jesse.
34:58Here she comes.
35:01Hello, Ma.
35:02Hello, Ritchie.
35:05My, it's a beautiful night.
35:08The moon's way down low, almost setting.
35:11Yes, I don't believe I've hardly ever seen such a beautiful night.
35:15Such a wonderful moon.
35:17Have you, Ritchie?
35:18No.
35:19It was wonderful down at the beach.
35:22I can only remember a few nights that were as beautiful as this.
35:26They were long ago when your mother and I were young and planning to get married.
35:30Yeah, yeah.
35:32I bet those must have been wonderful nights, too.
35:35Sort of forget the moon was the same way back then and everything.
35:39You're all right, Ritchie.
35:41You're a good boy, Ritchie.
35:43Better get to bed early tonight, son, hadn't you?
35:45Oh, sleep.
35:46Sleep.
35:47I couldn't sleep.
35:49Can't I stay out here on the porch and sit for a while until the moon sets, please?
35:53All right.
35:54And you'd better say good night now.
35:56I don't know about your mother, but I'm going to bed right away.
35:58I'm dead tired.
35:59Oh, so am I.
36:00Good night, Ma.
36:01Good night, dear.
36:06Good night, Pa.
36:07Good night.
36:16First time he's done that in years.
36:19I don't believe kissing between fathers and sons after a certain age seems mushy and silly.
36:27But that meant something.
36:30I don't think we'll ever have to worry about his being safe from himself again.
36:36I guess no matter what life will do to him, he can take care of it now.
36:41Oh, my darn feet are giving me fits.
36:43Why do you bother unlacing your shoes now, you big goose?
36:46We're going right up to bed.
36:47I guess you're right.
36:49Mind if I don't say my prayers tonight, Essie?
36:51I'm certain heaven knows I'm too darn tired.
36:54Don't talk that way.
36:55It's real sinful.
36:57Oh, that isn't you all over.
37:00Always looking for an excuse to...
37:03Oh, you're worse than Tommy.
37:05Well, all right.
37:06I suppose you needn't.
37:08You've had a hard day.
37:11I'm going to turn out the lights.
37:12You all ready?
37:13Yep.
37:14Let her go, Gallagher.
37:16Look at Richard out there on that porch.
37:19Like a statue of love's young dreams.
37:22That's it that Rubiette says.
37:25Yet ah, that spring should vanish with the rose.
37:29That youth's sweet-scented manuscript should close.
37:34Well, spring isn't everything, is it, Essie?
37:37There's a lot to be said for autumn.
37:40That's got beauty, too.
37:42And winter, if you're together.
37:46Yes, Matt.
37:52Well, speaking as producer,
38:02the worst I can say for our guest tonight
38:04is that he doesn't always approve of my productions.
38:06Speaking as a citizen with the vote,
38:08the least I can say for George G. Nathan
38:10is that I always approve of what he writes.
38:12I didn't say agree, mind you.
38:14Heaven and the entire personnel of Actors' Equity forbid
38:16that I should recite for your catalogue
38:18of Mr. Nathan's unmentionably numerous virtues.
38:21I needn't remind you of the magazine
38:23which he founded, Mr. H.L. Mencken,
38:25a magazine from which my theatre took its name
38:27and both which should be nameless,
38:29nor of the list of his books,
38:30which don't need what I'd like to say about them.
38:32It's not for me to celebrate the celebrated Nathan prose
38:35that blend richness and astringency
38:37against whose infinite variety, time, and custom
38:40seem to be getting nowhere.
38:42But let me say this much.
38:44Eugene O'Neill's dedication on the first page of Our Wilderness
38:46reads as follows.
38:48To George G. Nathan, who also, once upon a time,
38:51wore peg-top trousers
38:53and went the pace that kills
38:55along the road to ruin.
38:57Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
38:59the Campbell Playhouse rededicates Our Wilderness
39:01to George G. Nathan,
39:03and we have our own good reasons.
39:05They are, among other things, his love of theatre
39:07as much as the gift and intelligence
39:09with which he served it.
39:11Mr. Nathan.
39:14O'Neill affectionately dedicated Our Wilderness to me,
39:17and it's only in the present tradition of close friendship
39:20that I should now return the compliment
39:22by saying uncomplimentary things about him.
39:25I've known the scholar intimately for more than 20 years,
39:28and I should like to take advantage of this occasion
39:30to tell you confidentially
39:32that the popular idea of himself
39:34which he has so cleverly built up through his plays,
39:37books which he has had written about him,
39:40and the expensive photographs of himself
39:42which he has spread around the world
39:44is a whopping fraud.
39:46What picture have you got of O'Neill?
39:48He is, you believe, a fellow
39:50persistently gloomy and morbid,
39:52that if a funeral passes his house,
39:54his wife joyfully mistakes it
39:56for a Mardi Gras cocktail.
39:58But if O'Neill is gloomy and morbid,
40:00all I can say is that someone has got
40:02the Scandinavian weather report
40:04mixed up with the dictionary.
40:06He is so gloomy and morbid, in point of fact.
40:08Once, while I was staying with him on Sea Island,
40:11I had a bribe with one of my best
40:13Duhaus and Curtis neckties
40:15to quit singing Rosie, You Are My Posy
40:17atop of his lungs after midnight
40:19so I'd get a little decent sleep.
40:21He roars with delight over
40:23Damon Runyon's stories of mugs
40:25who go around shaking hands with pieces
40:27of Limburger cheese concealed in their palms.
40:29He thinks Jack Benny is a scream,
40:32and worth all the ibsenack to this side of Stockholm.
40:35He wrote, don't forget, this Our Wilderness,
40:38which is not only approximately as gloomy
40:40and morbid as Charlie's Ant or the beer-barrel poker,
40:43but which I may tell you,
40:45had to have twenty-one consecutive minutes
40:47of howling low-cutty cut out of the dinner-table scenes
40:50so following sentimental scenes
40:52might stand a chance of getting over.
40:55O'Neill, you further believe,
40:57given to a large, steady, and copious indignation.
41:00In other words, a combination of ingrowing toenail,
41:03boil, and second act to the Valkyrie.
41:06Well, as I say, I've been pretty close to the fellow
41:09for almost a quarter of a century,
41:11and the one and only time I've ever seen him
41:13indignant about anything, it was three years ago,
41:16was when I argued with him that he was a jackass
41:18in not believing Joe Lewis, a top-notch fighter.
41:21Prize-fighting, incidentally, interests him
41:23more than almost anything else, except for sauerkraut.
41:26He loves sauerkraut.
41:28I've seen him down six big dishes of it in half an hour.
41:31You've read of being a painfully slow and laborious worker.
41:34You've heard that it takes him two years
41:36to get to the profound point of putting down the line,
41:39act one, the curtain rises.
41:41It's true he's a laborious worker,
41:43but so far as the painfully slow stuff goes,
41:45it's often a lot of bunkum.
41:47The Saw Wilderness, for example,
41:49he wrote in exactly 26 days.
41:52So you also think that, on the whole,
41:54from what you've heard, must be a quick-tempered
41:56and nasty rooster in his dealings
41:58with the stage directors he plays.
42:00I'll give you an illustration out of many.
42:02During the rehearsals of The Saw Wilderness,
42:05Philip Muller, the director, came down to the footlights
42:08and suggested to O'Neill, sitting huddled in the theater row,
42:11that he thought it would be a grand idea
42:13if O'Neill permitted him to alter one line
42:15in the serious scene then being tried.
42:17Why, O'Neill wanted to know.
42:19It would, answered Muller, telling how he'd changed the line,
42:22be a beautiful, relieving laugh.
42:25Well, quietly mumbled O'Neill,
42:27it's funny all right.
42:29In fact, it's pretty darn funny.
42:31In fact, it's fine, but...
42:33And here our friend gently squinted at Muller.
42:35It would be a whole heap funnier
42:37if you yourself played the role facing the audience
42:40and then, very, very slowly,
42:43while speaking the line,
42:45turned around and showed him a large chromo
42:47of William Jennings Bryan
42:49fastened to the seat of your pants.
42:51Muller had no more to say.
42:53The scene proceeded as O'Neill had written it,
42:55and that's the scene and that's the play
42:57that you have heard tonight.
42:59The make of Campbell's Soups join Orson Welles,
43:01inviting you to be with us at the Campbell Playhouse again
43:04next Sunday evening.
43:06Meanwhile, if you have enjoyed
43:08tonight's Campbell Playhouse presentation,
43:10won't you tell your grocery store tomorrow
43:12when you order Campbell's Chicken Soup?
43:15This is Ernest Chappell saying thank you
43:17and good night.
43:19My sponsors, the makers of Campbell's Soups,
43:22and all of us on this program remain,
43:25as always,
43:27obediently yours.
43:31© 2013 University of Georgia College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences