Sex: Is it that important? || Acharya Prashant (2022)
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LearningTranscript
00:00So, why do we give so much importance to sex?
00:06Like all the advertisements have…
00:09And why does a man at 25 or 28 would have propensity to be depressed if he is not getting sex?
00:15I think animals give far less importance to sex than human beings do.
00:23It's because animals have no need to use sex as a proxy for their other unmet desires.
00:38Animals just do not have too many desires.
00:40So, they don't have to cover up for their unfulfilled desires.
00:46Man just has too many desires, obviously at the center of all of these is just one principle
00:52unfulfilled desires, but because there are just so many desires, so man has to somehow
01:01give himself passing marks, I am failing everywhere, failing everywhere, at some place let me succeed.
01:10So he succeeds in the genital domain, it's absurd in some ways, the entire day the fellow
01:21has been an abject failure everywhere, he has failed in the office, he has failed in
01:29his bets, he has failed in his relationships, and he has colossal desires within, all with
01:37their hungry mouths wide open, all asking for food and he cannot provide for all of
01:45them or even half of them.
01:49So how does he maintain his self-esteem, when it comes to the end of the day, when he is
02:00about to retire, he is on the bed, he has to answer himself, so has there been any fulfillment
02:07in the day, anything that you want, anything that you could make your way into?
02:16So finally he says, okay fine, if I couldn't make my way into anything, there is at least
02:20one place I can penetrate and declare myself a winner, there is at least one fort I can
02:26reach, because there is nothing else I could do.
02:30So that's the reason why lustfulness, I suppose is much more in human beings than in any animal.
02:36And Acharyaji about family too, because there are dogs here, which are, so there are some
02:43newborn puppies here, but I see that only female is living with them, and once they
02:48grow a little big, they don't have any family, and then the puppies will go their way.
02:53And human maintains a family all his life, so you told about sex, it is different for
02:59animals and for humans, family is also a major part in human society.
03:05This is a valid point that even if having a kid, she can take care of at a certain point
03:10and let him be on his own.
03:14Why do you need to carry the whole liability throughout your life?
03:17So it's actually not a…
03:20That's the thing, there is a social order, and that social order is born out of ignorance,
03:28and both the man and the woman are victims of that ignorant social order.
03:35Anything born out of ignorance, first of all, will just not be good for anybody.
03:42These two things have to be seen concurrently, one, the kind of belief system we are living
03:47in is coming out of spiritual ignorance, therefore it just cannot be good or auspicious.
03:54Secondly, if it is not good, it is not good for everybody and anybody.
04:02Anything that's poisonous cannot be medicine to one of the genders.
04:07So we, all are fellow sufferers, it's just that people suffer in their own particular
04:15personal ways.
04:16Acharya ji, I have a question then, then our stats on the YouTube channel, particularly
04:22show that the gender participation when it comes to the viewership, it's highly skewed
04:27in the men's favor.
04:30Then till now, because this was something which is a very, very point that just hit
04:36me that, obviously, biology solely cannot be the determinant or the main dominant determinant
04:44because there are escapes to the whole thing.
04:46If a child is grown, you are free to ascend, then why is it that women choose, like less
04:55number of women choose ascension?
04:57Just going by…
04:58It is normal human tendency to seek cheap validation and self-respect, right?
05:08If women get a lot of appreciation and esteem and respect, admiration that's, at other
05:20places, let's say, places where they can just post their glamorous pics and get appreciated
05:32for that, why would they come to our channel, why?
05:38And remember, it's the men who are giving them that appreciation.
05:44So, if you have fewer women on your channel, is it only the women that are responsible?
05:50The men too is equally responsible.
05:52The women have been lured away to places where the men want them to be.
06:01The men want them to be at places where they fulfill men's appetite.
06:08A totally ignorant girl, totally ignorant girl, she just knows nothing, she understands
06:17nothing, she sees nothing, she hears nothing, she is just nothing when it comes to the consciousness.
06:24She starts posting her semi-nude pics and starts getting a million likes and then million followers.
06:32Why will she now come to Acharya Prashant's channel?
06:38Why will she come?
06:39And who gave her all those likes and adulation?
06:44Was it the women who came to follow and like her?
06:49The men, the men, so we do not know who is to be blamed, we do not know, and it's difficult
06:59for anybody to give up all that admiration and come to a place where you would be thoroughly
07:07disrobed and even scolded.
07:11There you are being admired and valued for your physical features, and here you come
07:18and you are being told that your physicality is a myth, is false, the body is not who you
07:25are, and there the body is yielding you so much respect and everything possible.
07:34Why do you want to come here?
07:35Nobody, that's the reason why women won't come this side, but again please understand,
07:40if the men keep the women on that side and do not allow them to come to the wisdom side,
07:47it's not merely the women who would suffer, because say what you may, but given your physical
07:57constitution you too would be drawn towards women, and if you have corrupted the bulk
08:03of the women, what kind of women are you going to get for yourself, and then think
08:09of the suffering.
08:11So it's in some sense, when you have a rotten woman in your life, it's the collective sins
08:20of the entire male community, rather the entire society, that's come back to avenge itself
08:30on you, as they say the chicken have come home to roost, that's what you have been doing
08:37through the centuries, now the consequences of your actions are in front of you in the
08:45shape of your girlfriend, she's not your girlfriend, she is Karmphal, this is the collective vengeance
08:56of all the wronged ones, and being a member of the men's club, you are then obliged to
09:13bear the consequences of what all the men and even all the women have done in the past.
09:22But I have a question, the question is, I totally agree with the fact that they are
09:28being allured and they have been given a lot of things, men alone have been given, but
09:35my question comes from the fact that both have that desire of peace and truth and liberty.
09:48Similarly, the position might be alluring, but after a while, aren't the women seeing it through, as in…
09:58No, there is a problem, the truth is respectable, I want truth, but the truth is formless, so
10:05I have to spot truth, locate truth, determine truth through its characteristics, one of
10:13the characteristics of the truth is that it is respectable, now the truth is respectable
10:18and I want truth, so it is easy for me to confuse respectability with truth, so wherever
10:26I get respect, I will be at that place, assuming that this place is true, you get the appended
10:37logic, see all of you are saying good things about me, I am a woman, all that you like
10:45about me is just my body, as is usually the case, but all of you are saying great things
10:50about me and none of you are honest or mind you direct enough to tell me that all you
10:55are gaping at is my breasts, right, we say women are not direct enough, how many men
11:02are direct enough to tell the woman that my entire consciousness is right now focused
11:08on your cleavage, we don't do that, right?
11:11Definitely.
11:12So, I am a woman and all of you are admiring me and respecting me and doing all these things
11:16to me, how do I know that this is not the truth, how do I know, please tell me, you
11:25know because you are the plotter, you know because the conspiracy has been hashed in
11:32your mind, how do I know, secondly, when you get something that sweet and likeable, then
11:40you don't even want to know, it's so nice, my boyfriend, my husband or all these suitors
11:48around me, they come and they all say only nice things about me, only nice things about
11:55me, how do I know this is not true, so even though all conscious beings have an urge for
12:05the truth, but the truth remember is nameless and formless, not easy to situate, not easy
12:14to ascertain where it is, so how do we then try to locate the truth, using its characteristics
12:27and those characteristics are where we lose the game.
12:30But it is the same for man, if a man is having a high paid job.
12:38That's exactly the point, it's the same for men.
12:43Then why is that women are less on the channel and men are more, when in the same situation,
12:48they are subjected to the same situation.
12:50It merely means that even if there are more men on the channel, it's not going to help
12:56them till the point there is an equal proportion, it does not mean that more men are going to
13:04get liberated, 85% men will get liberated and only 15% women will benefit, it merely
13:09means that even though 85% are not going to benefit.
13:13Because they do not just have Acharyaji's literature in their lives, they also have
13:16those men in their lives, those women in their lives.
13:19Obviously, obviously.
13:20And even the ones who are there, they are not there for liberation, most of them can't even…
13:27Many of them are there because the women didn't go to them.
13:31Exactly.
13:32So they are there to just lick their wounds.
13:38It's just that I end up inflicting deeper wounds.
13:45I have a question Acharyaji.
13:48So in my childhood, I have seen that I was born in a village.
13:53So whenever there was a Bhagavad Gatha or something, there were more number of women
13:57in those Katha and even in the house, the daily worship was the work of the women and
14:02not men.
14:04So I had this thing in my mind that women are more devoted and they have more, they
14:11want to worship and they are more religious, I used to think.
14:15So is that not the case?
14:16Because when we are seeing on the channel, we are seeing that women are less than men
14:20or more.
14:21So how do you reconcile?
14:22If women are indeed more religious, why are they so very absent from truly spiritual channels?
14:30So that's what my question is.
14:34That just tells you that your premises were false.
14:41So I have a question on this topic.
14:44So in Vivek Chudamani, in the beginning, it says that to be born a human is a great advance
14:52towards liberation and then he also says, if I am understanding this correctly, that
14:56to be born with male characteristics and he defines them as courage, focus and concentration
15:03is an added advantage.
15:07So does this, maybe I think I am misinterpreting this, is he really saying that men are more
15:14suited to liberation?
15:17Which means that if a man is not liberated, he is actually worse off than a woman because
15:23he is naturally inclined to have those qualities.
15:26The third set of values we refer to, these things are not really the preserve of men.
15:35If you talk of courage or focus or concentration, think of the concentration a woman can have
15:41on so many things in her life, that kind of concentration is unthinkable for us men.
15:50So it's not courage or concentration, it's about concentrating on the right thing.
15:57It's about courage to let go and that's not really a man thing.
16:07Those three sets we talked of, it's a third set, it's a third set.
16:12So that's why probably the word male characteristics has been used.
16:17Those male characteristics, I repeat, are not the preserve of males.
16:23Those characteristics can be found or can be developed in women as well.
16:30Though the route will probably be different, the approach has to be customized.
16:36Currently this trend is going on, where mostly the liberal thing, where they say that women are they are victims and like a man is something, we have suppressed them in the workplace and all such stuff.
16:53So is it the active effort to avoid the third set of…
16:57Exactly, exactly.
16:59Because they don't want to say to courage.
17:04I don't want to ascend, I would rather swap places with the men.
17:12I would say historically man has had the upper hand, now I want to have the upper hand or
17:20at least an equal status.
17:23But still you are asking for an equal status in the same plane, irrespective of whether
17:30you are on the side of the exploited ones or on the side of the exploiter or somewhere
17:38in between these two at an equal distance from these two.
17:42What remains constant is the plane you have been living on and that plane is the normal
17:50dualistic plane, you are not rising, so this won't help.
17:57In fact, you put it very nicely, this might just be an internal conspiracy against the
18:03real thing that needs to be done.
18:06Women do not need to match men or be equal to men.
18:11Men are themselves in a very horrible place.
18:14Why do you want to take their sicknesses upon yourself?
18:24You would fully well agree that the lives of men are hardly the kind of stuff that any
18:37human being should aspire for.
18:40I don't know what a woman would get by placing herself equal to men.
18:50Probably from the other side of the fence, the grass or whatever appears greener and
18:56longer here.
18:57Swachhacharya ji, we are talking about the third set of qualities, so can we also discuss
19:07about what this third set is and how a woman can come to this third set and how a man can
19:18come to this third set.
19:19Tell me, that's the reason why both men and women are in bondage, you remember so much
19:32but you don't remember this third set, that's Shada Sampat, Vairagya, Viveka, Shada Sampat,
19:53Mumuksha, that's Sadan Chaturishta.
19:56That's broadly the values I am referring to.
20:05You must value detachment, you must value discretion, you must value Shambham, Uparati,
20:13Titaksa etc. and you must have a strong desire towards the truth or liberation from bondages.
20:22You must have a strong aversion to any kind of falsenesses.
20:26I just don't dislike being enslaved, that's what you should value.
20:34Not your body as a woman, not your attitude as a man, both these sets of values are very
20:43very false and both these sets feed upon each other.
20:49One set exists on the back of the other one, because the woman is tender therefore the
21:02man has to be harder and that's how the two go together, the tender woman and the hard
21:13looking man.
21:20These two coexist in duality, no point blaming just one set and if you can see very clearly
21:30that one set exists, it's just a scary pointer that the other one too definitely does.
21:42One cannot exist without the other, sickness in one side is definitely an indicator of
21:51sickness on the other side as well and both these sicknesses will live and disappear together.
21:59If you want to treat the woman, treat the man, if you want to treat the man, treat the
22:04woman.
22:05I have a question.
22:07So I notice in history, most of the great artists, most of the great scientists, most
22:13of the great musicians, most of the great statesmen, they all tend to be male and I'm
22:19wondering is this just because women are choosing not to participate that way?
22:25Is it some form of oppression?
22:28Why is it or am I just misreading the data and just assuming that it's all men?
22:34What we call as greatness might again be just a man thing.
22:42After all, you see, if we define ourselves as unfulfilled consciousnesses, what really
22:49is greatness?
22:52Achievement.
22:55Greatness is a certain purity of consciousness, a certain leviation of consciousness, does
23:02that really have to come in very, very predetermined ways?
23:11The modes of expressions that you just talked of, does greatness come exclusively to them
23:22or can I live and behave in very different ways and yet be liberated?
23:31It's just that that liberation will never be acknowledged by the society because the
23:37society thinks of greatness or liberation only in very ready-made and preset kind of
23:46ways.
23:50The expression of greatness in man takes one form, the expression of greatness in women
24:05sometimes may take a totally different form.
24:08When we, even in the spiritual field and historically we have seen that most saints have been men.
24:21Most saints that we know of, most saints that chose to have a public persona, how do you
24:36know that the words of the Rishis were their own, exclusively their own?
24:45If a person operates in a context, can you have a great Rishi with very debauched women
24:55in his life?
24:57Please tell me.
25:00Maybe he has no women.
25:06Shubhankar ji is saying he is a bachelor.
25:09He might be a bachelor but that does not mean that there are no women in his life.
25:17Even if he is a bachelor, what does that mean?
25:19He is at least interacting with men and the men, you say are having a great influence
25:25on him.
25:26The men have been instrumental in turning him into a sage.
25:31What about those men who have been influencing him?
25:34Have those men too been totally empty of women?
25:39When a society yields a great product, whether in music, art, literature, any field, it just
25:48cannot come from one gender and when a society is rotten, it's not one gender that can be
25:55responsible for it.
25:58So this is a very childish way of looking at it, that the sages in the Upanishads were
26:05mostly all men.
26:08Sir, you read the names of the men, you do not know of the women in that ecosystem.
26:21The Rishis were not known to be necessarily single or celibates.
26:32There were so many Rishis who were leading married lives, they even had kids.
26:43Had the Rishis been celibate, this Aryan race won't have…
26:49The Aryan race can come from the other people as well, but there are so many references.
26:58Some even had two wives, some even had two wives, that is true.
27:06You have fathers teaching their sons in the Vedantic literature.
27:14So the Rishis might be uttering the verses, but mind you that the verses too come from
27:22an entire environment and that environment comprises of women as well.
27:28Had the women been all ignorant, the verses wouldn't have arrived.
27:38Sir, why don't the women want to be known for this type of, that's a biological thing.
27:44They don't want to hog the limelight in general.
27:48It's okay if we take a back seat, it's okay if somebody else is known for it and felicitated.
28:01The desire to be the front face is biologically weaker in women.
28:08How is this trait emerging from the body, Acharya ji?
28:13How is it emerging?
28:14It is there in the body.
28:15It is there in the body.
28:16She keeps it when she is pregnant.
28:21She keeps the demands of the baby ahead of her own needs.
28:30Doesn't she feel resentful doing this?
28:33She is biologically trained to do that.
28:36In biology, there is hardly free will available to resent or support, even little girls if
28:43you see, there is a little girl, there is a boy and they fight over an apple.
28:50Even if she is being brought up in a perfectly liberated environment, the girl is more likely
28:54to just yield the apple to her brother.
29:01The desire to be very grossly and visibly victorious is not so much there in the woman.
29:13The reason being her physicality itself obviously, she cannot win the war always in gross and
29:21physical terms, she is weaker.
29:25So, her victories happen on another plane, her victories happen on the emotional plane.
29:33Her stuff is more nuanced.
29:36So, is this why I feel like I can never win a discussion or an argument with a woman because
29:44she is more skilled at the emotional?
29:46You can win a discussion against a woman, but she will win against you in some other
29:53plane.
29:54So, physically you are stronger, if there is a tussle, arm wrestling or something, obviously
30:03you will win, but when it will come to the emotional thing, that's where she is more
30:09skilled.
30:10She will just outwit you and you won't even know you have been beaten.
30:14Yeah, that's happened to me many times.
30:16And I guess even though I have had these frustrating experiences, the moment I see an attractive
30:23woman, it's like this whole lifetime of frustration just disappears and I am just locked into her.
30:30Agreed.
30:31Totally.
30:32The thing is, none of these traits are going to take us far.
30:48The woman's tricks, the man's compulsiveness, neither of this works.
31:04All of this is just animalistic, all of this is biological, doesn't help anybody either
31:18side.
31:19So, if it's animalistic, is it always going to happen throughout my life?
31:32Greatness is a certain purity of consciousness, a certain leviation of consciousness.
31:37It's just that that liberation will never be acknowledged by the society because the
31:42society thinks of greatness or liberation only in very ready-made and preset kind of
31:50ways.
31:51See, some physical characteristics you will carry, right?
31:55You are born sexed, that will be there for both genders to survive.
32:00Both of them have to have certain advantages.
32:03Because if they do both have want to ascend, they both have their own ways of ascending.
32:08You can't enslave somebody without yourself being enslaved.
32:13Ritual ignorance is where all of this is coming from.
32:15It has robbed us of the basic normal fun of life.