Multiple romantic or sexual partners: the real story || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

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00:00Namaskar Acharya ji. We are sitting in a lawn and we are surrounded by rabbits all around.

00:12Man has made attempts throughout history to transcend its animal nature and one of the

00:18things has been it trying to be stable in its sexual relationships. Such a thing is

00:28not found in animals. We do not have any compulsion or pressure to be loyal, not be infidel. What

00:38is your take in the concept of having multiple partners or not having any moral or cultural

00:48pressure to engage sexually or romantically with any one person throughout the life?

00:57Multiple partners is too much. Let's begin with one partner. Why do you need a partner

01:06at all? I am not taking a position, I am asking a question. Why do you need a partner in the

01:14first place? You need a partner because you feel a certain vacancy, right? You feel a

01:24certain urge, a feeling of incompleteness. You are looking for something and you feel

01:35that that which you are looking for will be provided by the person you are relating to,

01:41the one you are partnering. How do you succeed? If you succeed then why do you need another

01:53partner? And if you don't succeed, why do you need another partner? The whole thing

02:03does not have so much of a moral angle to it. Go ahead and have 40,000 partners. Be

02:14related to 10, 20, 30 people in whichever way you want to. Have a platonic relationship,

02:27have an actively sexual relationship. Go ahead and try all of that. If any of that gives you

02:36contentment, does it? If it gives you contentment, go ahead. Here is an early warning, it won't.

02:49You will be wasting your time. Forget about multiple partners. Even those who with all

03:00loyalty stick to just one partner find that they are not getting what they wanted out

03:06of that one partner. So, the question is not one partner versus multiple partners.

03:14The question is whether any of these partnerships are any good? Are these any good? And if they

03:28really are good, who can stop you from partnering? The deity of your choice. If one person or

03:40a group of persons is really able to give you that which would fulfill your life, then

03:50you just cannot be stopped. You'd say, I'm prepared to lay down my life, but you cannot

03:57stop me from being with that person. Mostly, these flings are blind attempts at getting

04:17from people what people cannot give and using ways to reach destinations that those ways

04:34cannot reach. When you say one has multiple partners, there is an obvious sexual connotation

04:44to it. One is relating sexually to many people. Relate sexually to one person, relate sexually

04:53to many person, will sex give you what you want? Have sex with 10 persons or have sex

05:06with one person 10 times? Did you get what you really set out to get? So, the ones who

05:20are in all fidelity sticking to one partner need not feel any kind of moral superiority

05:27over the ones who are engaged in the internet of relationships, the whole mishmash, this

05:40connected to that, that connected to that and this connected to that, that whole network.

05:49Both are failing in their attempt. Both want something that is very, very deep, but both

05:58are trying to get that deep something using very shallow means, very shallow means. The

06:07body is a very shallow way to get that which your consciousness desperately craves for.

06:17And remember, all your relationships are deeply your attempts to fill an inner void. Your

06:31consciousness is trembling, it is wounded, it is incomplete, it lacks a huge part of itself,

06:45rather it lacks its own center and therefore it stumbles from place to place, knocks from door

06:56to door hoping to get some kind of relief from somewhere. Multiple partners are these feeble

07:13and fruitless knocks on several multiple doors. That does not mean that knocking on just one door

07:24is better than knocking on several doors. It merely means that whether you knock on one door

07:31or on several doors, you will return disappointed. You will not get what you want through the

07:38physical or sexual route. It is not possible. So, if you are someone who is a serial relator,

07:49one relationship after the other or several relationships at a time, whatever, one and the

07:58same thing really, you must tell yourself that you really have not a physical but a spiritual urge

08:10and therefore you should stop your mad nonsensical method of looking for the

08:19ultimate in some man or woman. You will not get it there. You will have to find it using other

08:29means. You will have to find it in wisdom literature, you will have to find it in a

08:36deep understanding of life, you will find it in a love that is far more inclusive, a love that is

08:50more pervasive. You talked of the rabbits. Was it in this discussion itself? Somebody said,

09:00it was such a beautiful quote that a part of your consciousness remains

09:07unawakened until you fall in love with an animal and all that you are looking for is some sexy

09:19woman. Chances are very feeble that you will get it there. Were it possible to get it there,

09:30millions and billions would have obtained it. So sit down with yourself and honestly question

09:45yourself, what is it that I really want? Another man, another woman, is that what I want or is it

09:52something deeper? And once you receive the answer, don't unhear it, don't unsee it, don't avoid or

10:04ignore it. The answer is there, writ large on the wall, inner wall. Now act as per your understanding.

10:13Vindit Acharyaji painted a hopeless picture that one is not going to get it in women in

10:25partnerships and I have tried to say that it has to be sought in wisdom literature in relations

10:33that are inclusive. Why is it that it is received through certain things and it is not received?

10:40You see, when I say it has to be an inclusive way of relating to the universe, obviously that does

10:48not exclude men or women. When I say that your love has to include even animals and plants and

10:57ecologies, then do I mean that your love would exclude women or that a woman's love would exclude

11:07men? Obviously not. But then this is pathological. Sticking to a woman or sticking to a man,

11:15inwardly aiming for his or her genitals is sick, it stinks. And when you are fed up with one set

11:32of genitals, then you hunt for another set, makes no sense, bears no fruit. There are beautiful ways

11:49of relating to men, relating to women, relate them in higher ways, relate to them in higher ways.

11:59I'm not a body hater. I'm just clear on what the body can and what it cannot give. There are

12:14certain things for which the body is indeed useful and there are certain things which cannot come

12:21via the body. Once we are done with this, you know I would be rushing out to the tennis court.

12:29That's something my body can give me. It can win me a great point. It cannot win me realization.

12:42I need a healthy and good body to serve an ace. But my body will not render me salvation. On the

13:01tennis court, love all is just a score at best. That's the utmost the body can give me. Love all

13:17and that love all is so very transitory and ephemeral. Very soon it changes to 15 love.

13:26That's your multiple partner thing. Love all is gone. Now it's 15 love.

13:35If physical nearness happens smoothly, incidentally,

13:59as a result of spiritual nearness, then it is unavoidable. But only then must it be unavoidable.

14:15Physical nearness has to be the tail of the elephant. Are you getting it? Once the entire

14:29elephant has passed through, only then you must see the little tail. Only that much importance

14:39it must have. Instead of that, the sexual aspect becomes the elephant. As far as the real,

14:52truthful, spiritual aspect is concerned, you keep waiting for the tail to come and when you come to

15:04the rear of the animal, you realize it is tailless. Because spiritual aspect cannot follow

15:14physicality. But physicality, sometimes it can follow the spiritual part. Not always, sometimes.

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